Unexpected Surprise
by Snapegirlkmf
Summary: Belle was told she could never have children. . .until one day a miracle occurred and now she had an unexpected surprise to tell Rumple. Follow Rumbelle and Bae through the ups and downs of pregnancy, including Rumple's sympathetic symptoms! Also stars Archie! AU S2, with teenage Bae and a different creator of the Dark Curse! Rumbelle fluff!
1. Bad News

**Unexpected Surprise**

**By Snapegirlkmf & CJ Moliere**

**1**

**Bad News**

**A/N: This story will be co-authored by me and CJ Moliere. It is set post-Dark Curse several months afterwards, AU S2, where Rumple did not create the curse but was a victim of it like the others in Storybrooke, he also did not lose Bae or Belle, but they were cursed also and separated from him for the curse's duration. We hope you enjoy the wacky, touching, and emotional rollercoaster ride that's Belle's unexpected surprise!**

Belle sat stunned on the exam table in her gynecologist's office. She had gone for her yearly appointment like always, because even with the curse broken she knew it was important for her health, especially since she was married now and both she and Rumple wanted to have a child together. Belle had always had irregular and painful monthlies, and it was during the curse that her doctor had diagnosed her with a condition called endometriosis, and said it was the cause of her problems. But she had been doing what she could to keep it under control, and had hoped it was getting better. But the recent tests done showed otherwise and the news she had just been given left her reeling.

The words felt like knives being driven deep into Belle's heart...you will not be able to bear children...perhaps you may consider adoption. They tried to break the news to her as gently as possible. She was grateful for that and for her part she tried her best to put up a brave front only she was dying inside. There was no greater gift she wanted to give the husband she loved more than anything than a child from her own body. Now her body was rebelling against her, denying her the chance to make that dream come true and no amount of magic could fix it, not even the power of true love that was supposed to conquer all. She wanted to cry, she wanted to scream, she wanted to slam her fists against a wall...to do anything to express the deep sorrow she felt but she would be brave for now. Only when she was alone could she drop her facade and let it all out.

She could only imagine what some of the other people in the town would say once word of her condition got out and even thinking it left a bitter taste in the back of her throat. They would consider it fitting, after all in their eyes she'd married a monster...why would she want to bring another one into the world? She was so damned sick and tired of everyone putting him down and thinking she was a fool. They didn't know her at all or the man she married, not as well as they knew each other. They both had their flaws and instead of letting those flaws hinder their relationship, they helped strengthen it. They faced many obstacles to their love before and still it survived, just like the chipped cup that served as the symbol of that love. A piece of it was missing yet it wasn't discarded or neglected. This was perhaps the greatest challenge they could ever face as a couple.

**Page~*~*~*~*~Break**

The harsh thumping of a bass drum or whatever it was that passed for music these days assaulted Gold's ears as soon as he pulled into the driveway of his Victorian. Scowling, he glared up at the second story window where his son's room was and got out of the car. Dammit, Baelfire! he thought angrily. This is not downtown near the docks and the people in this neighborhood do not appreciate this death metal garbage or whatever the hell you call it! He was surprised the phone wasn't ringing off the wall with complaints about the noise by now.

He entered the house and yelled up the stairs, "BAE! Turn that-garbage DOWN!"

But of course it was impossible to hear anything with that unholy racket, so after a few minutes, where he had developed a pounding headache in addition to his leg aching, Rumple grabbed his cane and limped up the stairs. It had only been a month since the curse had broken, and Bae had been a wild street brat during it, running with gods only knew what kind of kids and it was taking some time for him to adjust to having parents again . . .and actually living in a normal house.

"Baelfire!" Gold snapped as he pushed open the door to his son's room. "Will you _turn_ the damn volume down?" His eardrums were nearly blown out by the sheer noise. He gestured and the awful music suddenly ceased.

Bae spun his chair around to face his furious father. "What the hell! I was listening to that!"

Gold crossed his arms over his chest. "And so was the whole neighborhood!" he growled. "How many times do I have to tell you-if you're going to play that . . .devil metal music to put your earbuds in so the rest of the country doesn't have to be subjected to it? I almost went deaf!"

"It wasn't that loud!"

"No? Well, if it wasn't that loud how come you didn't hear me calling for you to turn it down, dearie?" his father demanded. "I had to come up here and do it myself!"

"Whatever. You just don't like it that's all."

"That's right. Because it's all noise and no sense. You can't even hear what they're supposed to be singing! And this is what you kids consider _music_ these days?"

"Yeah well it's better than the crap you listen to...enough to put me to sleep."

"Watch the tone," Gold ordered. He eyed the boy leaning in his chair, noting how Bae was running a hand through his hair and then twirling something inbetween his fingers. His gaze zeroed in on . . ."Bae . . . is that . . . an _earring_?" He moved over to his son and brushed the hair away to see it better. "It is! When the hell did you get _that_?"

"Yeah. And a tattoo. I've had 'em for ages. Oh come on. Don't tell me you're gonna make a big deal out of those now!"

"A tattoo? Where? What's it of?" Rumple frowned. "Some gang logo?"

"Ummm...yeah..."

Rumple shook his head. "I want to see it."

"Awww...all right!" He pulled his shirt off and turned so that his father could see his upper arm where an image of a scorpion was drawn. "I'm not getting it taken off either!"

Rumple stared at the loathsome insect and wondered where the hell the cheerful youngster he'd known back in the Enchanted Forest had gone and when did this sullen sulky copy take his place? He sighed. "All right. What's done is done. But . . . you're not allowed to get any more tattoos or piercings until you're eighteen or out of my house. Go behind my back and do it anyway and you won't like the consequences. Understood?"

"You're making a big deal out of nothing! And they were my family for as long as I could remember!" The boy cried angrily, his temper surging out of control. "All because of f*cking magic and a f*cking curse!"

"Baelfire! You don't use that language! I don't care what you've been doing for the last twenty-eight years, you don't talk like that to me!" Gold snapped, incensed. "I taught you better when you were three. Seems like you need a reminder though." He snapped his fingers and a bar of Ivory appeared in them.

"Oh, so now you're gonna wash my mouth out with soap? Really, Papa, I'm not three anymore."

Now that he had his memories back, Bae detested the magic his father now had as strongly as before when they were back in the Enchanted Forest.

"Well, you're acting like it. And I won't have you talking like that around this house. You seem to have forgotten all the manners I ever taught you. Hopefully, this will remind you. Open up." Rumple hated playing the stern patriarch but so far all his attempts at coaxing and reasoning with his son had failed. The boy was stubborn . . .perhaps he needed reminding that his papa was twice as stubborn . . .and determined to set the boy back on track and not let what had gone before ruin his life.

"Make me," Bae challenged. "You can't do it without magic. You can't do much of anything without it, can you?"

Gold's eyes flashed. "I can do plenty without my magic. I lived without it for twenty-eight years, and before I became the Dark One. I never needed magic to make you mind before. And I don't need it now. You know perfectly well what you did is wrong. But if you want to be a coward instead of taking your punishment like a man, that's YOUR choice. And you have to live with yourself."

"Oh I'm not a coward. I want to see if you really have the balls to make me eat soap...without magic."

Gold locked eyes with his rebellious offspring. He adored his son . . .but right now he wanted to wallop the daylights out of him for his fresh mouth and his attitude. And he knew then that he couldn't let this challenge to his authority slide. Not and still hope to gain the boy's respect. He was like a young wolf, growling and showing his teeth at his alpha. Well, the pup was about to get reminded that his alpha was no pushover.

Bae waited patiently to see if his father would accept his challenge. He'd been through a similar process when he joined the gang.

Rumple moved then, he wasn't as fast as he was when he'd been the Dark One, but still faster than a normal man when he wished to be. He brought his hand beneath the boy's jaw, and pressed firmly where the jaw hinged, forcing the boy to open his mouth involuntarily. Then he popped the bar of Ivory in and said, "Satisfied, young man? The old wolf still has teeth." The entire thing had taken about ten seconds, and had been as easy as giving a recalcitrant sheep medicine back in the old days.

Bae nearly gagged from the taste of the soap. It wasn't as bad as the soap he used back in the Forest but it was still disgusting nonetheless and deep down he was proud. His father still had it.

Bae spit the soap back out. "Tastes just as bad as the other stuff," he sputtered."But you've still got it," he said admiringly.

He was too old to get turned over his father's knee but he was certain if he did, that would still hurt like hell too depending on the offense.

"I never lost it." Rumple returned. "Now go rinse your mouth. And next time you remember what I taught you. I didn't raise you to be a hooligan, Bae. And you're lucky you're too old to get spanked, because I'd do that too if I had to."

"Yeah and I wouldn't be sitting for a week."

"No you wouldn't. Now would you please try and behave?"

"I'll try Papa...I really will...but it's not easy...been on my own so long..."

"I know . . .but you're not alone anymore . . .you're part of a family again, and Belle and I are here to help you . . .if you'll let us. We're your family now." Then he pulled the boy into a rather awkward hug, like he used to do when Bae was little after he'd punished him for something.

As Bae found his face pressed up against his father's chest, his mind flew backwards in time. During the curse there were times when Bae wished he had a normal family...the memories he'd been given made him believe BOTH of his parents were dead...not that one of them was the very same pawnbroker whose shop he broke into to steal the money out of the cash register and a few other items as part of a challenge.

The boy he'd taken with him was a newbie and not as fast on his feet so they got caught.

And like now, his father, without magic and walking with a cane was the one to apprehend the sneaky thieves, trapping them in the back room until Sheriff Swan showed up. They both expected the rumored hard assed pawnbroker to have them both thrown in jail or juvie. Instead, he decided not to press charges and kept the boys at the shop most of the day, asking them a lot of questions about their lives, bringing them lunch from Granny's...more specifically their memories. Bae found that odd but Mr. Gold was odd according to the others. His accomplice snuck back out when Mr. Gold went to the bathroom but Bae stayed behind. He couldn't explain it but something compelled him to stay.

When Bae finally asked him why he gave a shit about a bunch of gang kids when no one else did, the older man looked like he was on the verge of tears. He told him that Bae reminded him of the son he lost.

"But I'm not your son," he'd said. Those words did bring the pawnbroker to tears. Bae was a bit annoyed then and asked him to turn off the waterworks. He did, but there was still a pained look on his face that made no sense then. Oh, how it did now.

Bae had no way of knowing that their little mishap at the pawnshop saved his life. Three hours later while he was still with Mr. Gold, the other members of his gang got in a fight on the other side of town and most of them were killed.

The ones that did survive were all in the hospital with knife or gunshot wounds. Two of Sheriff Swan's deputies were also killed and Mayor Mills was outraged, giving the sheriff the power to create a task force to round up all the gangs and get them in jail before they could harm anyone else. She also found herself with an unlimited source of funds to launch her crusade with thanks to Mr. Gold.

When she came for Bae, he was certain he was going to go to jail with others but his father refused. He informed her he was taking the boy home with him.

He hadn't realized it then, but that home would eventually become his real one, once the curse broke and everyone got their memories back.

Unfortunately, having lived for twenty-eight years as a gang member, he still had some of his old habits and attitude which didn't make things easier for his father or Belle...

Having his father hug him like this reminded him sharply of the way things had been before the dagger curse, back when it had been the spinner and his son, just the two of them. He buried his face in Rumple's shirt, thinking that the scent on his clothes was different than before, but the sinewy arms that held him were just the same. And he wondered how he could have ever forgotten that.

"If you hadn't taken me in...I'd be dead...like the others..." Once again his papa had saved him, like he'd saved him back in Fairy Tale Land from that oaf Hordor.

Rumple's hand carded the boy's hair. "Fate brought you back to me, Bae. Because we belong together. I know this isn't an easy adjustment for you . . .it's not for any of us. But you have to work with me, son. I'm not the Dark One anymore. And I'm not the spinner either. I'm . . .just Mr. Gold . . .with magic, and Belle's husband and your papa. But regardless of that fact, one thing will never change-that you're my son, and I love you. Even when you make me want to beat you senseless." He ruffled his son's hair.

Bae laughed. "I missed you, Papa..."

The only person he didn't miss was his mother. She had very little interaction with him when she was in their lives and mostly it was to make them miserable.

In Belle he had a second mother though it hadn't started out that way. When Rumple put Bae in school before the curse broke, they gave him tests and determined that he was dyslexic with learning disabilities.

They placed him in Belle's reading class, her success rate with students had been outstanding.

At home, Rumple would sit with him and they would go over his homework and reading assignments together...just like the old days.

And gradually Bae began to conquer his dyslexia, until by the time the curse broke he could read at his age level, thanks to Belle and Rumple's patient tutoring.

At first Bae didn't think his father thought anything of Belle other than just being his reading teacher...but he'd been in for a surprise when Rumple announced one evening he had a date, a week after the curse had been broken.

"Who're you going on a date with? Mayor Mills?" Bae teased.

"Someone much prettier . . .and more patient . . .you know her well," Gold replied.

"Belle? You're going out with Belle!?" Bae's jaw dropped.

"Yes, we're going to have hamburgers at Granny's. Why? Do you think I'm too old to date girls?"

"Ummm...no but...isn't Belle kinda young for you?"

"When you're an adult, age is irrelevant," the pawnbroker said. "I asked her and she accepted."

"Oh...well...you might need these then.." He opened his nightstand and tossed his father a condom pack.

Rumple almost passed out. "How did you . . .never mind, I don't want to know, you probably stole them . . ." Flushing slightly, he said, "I won't be needing this but since you brought this up-have you ever needed one?"

"Umm...yeah...a few times." Bae said, blushing awkwardly. "I remembered us having _The Talk _before we got separated by the curse...not sure why."

"Probably Regina's sick sense of humor. Yes, well, it was because you were looking at a few of the village girls that way, so I wanted you to be prepared, but . . .Bae I don't approve of you just sleeping around. I wouldn't if you were my daughter and I don't with my son either."

"Haven't had time since I moved in with you. Don't tell me you haven't thought about sleeping with Belle."

Rumple's eyebrows climbed into his hair. "That is not something I'm going to discuss with you, Bae, so don't even go there. And for the record, I don't do one night stands, and Belle's not some floozy I picked up at a bar. When I take a woman on a date-it's a DATE . . .and I treat her like a lady, not a commodity. Despite what other people in this town think, I _do _have standards, and I don't compromise them for anything."

"Don't be too late...you have work in the morning," Bae quipped.

"And you have school, so don't stay up all night sketching or playing your xBox," Gold returned. "Because I'm waking you up if I have to drag you out of bed and throw you in the shower."

And he had...twice already.

Bae blinked, returning to the present, and looked up at his father, who was wearing his familiar smirk. "Uh . . .so . . .does this mean you forgive me?"

"It does, now go rinse your mouth, smart aleck." his father replied, and sent the boy on his way with a sharp smack to his behind.

Bae jumped. "Hey!"

"Just a reminder," Rumple said. "Because you're never too old for one, Bae."

The boy ducked his head and sighed. "Yes, Papa." Then he headed into the bathroom to rid himself of the disgusting taste of Ivory soap, and recalling all over again why nobody crossed Mr. Gold.

**Page~*~*~*~*~Break**

She barely remembered the drive home or walking into the house until she heard the keys dropping onto the table. She looked around for her husband and Bae and couldn't see either of them much to her relief.

She wasn't ready to face them now. All she wanted was to give herself time to rebuild the mask until it was like a second skin to her.

She went into the bathroom and undressed, letting her clothes lay in a pile on the floor instead of putting them in the hamper as was her usual routine. Only when she was in the shower stall and turned on the faucet did the wall she built up all morning collapse.

She sank to the floor with her head resting on her knees and sobbed, letting the shower spray wash away her tears. She was broken...and barren. All the dreams they had of bringing another child into the world, one of their own, born from their true love were gone...and it was her fault.

"How am I going to tell him?" she wept. "How am I going to tell him...?"

And lying was out of the question.

Rumple heard the shower running as he came in from the backyard with some fresh herbs and tomatoes he'd picked from the garden. He would make a salad for dinner tonight and see if Belle wanted chicken picata or parmesan with it, since Bae didn't care what he made, he ate everything. He had just set the herbs on the table when he felt something was wrong through their bond. Belle was upset . . .and he didn't know why, but it made him ache with a terrible intensity. What the hell happened? he wondered fearfully, and teleported up the stairs into the bathroom.

"WHY?!" Belle screamed when she stood up and pounded the shower stall wall with her fist.

She swung her arm out again, ready to run it through the glass stall door when it slid open and her husband stood on the other side.

He grabbed her and pulled her out of the stall. "Belle! My gods...what...what are you doing?!" he cried as he sat down on the floor with her in his arms.

She took one look at his face and realized that she had to tell him. The bond between them, forged on their wedding day was so strong that he'd sensed something was wrong the moment she lost control and came to her.

What would he think of her once he learned the truth? Would he still love her? The thought of losing him brought her to tears again. She buried her face in his shoulder, her hands clinging to his waist, too terrified of what would happen if she let go.

"Belle, sweetheart...what's wrong? Did someone hurt you? Tell me...and whoever it was is going to regret it for the rest of their natural lives!"

"It...it's no one else...it's me...It's all my fault!" she wailed.

"How can anything possibly be your fault? You haven't done anything."

"Yes I have! And when you know...you'll hate me...you won't love me..."

"Not love you? How can you think such a thing? I love you more than I've ever loved any other woman in my life!"

_She's cheating on you,_ that voice nagged in the back of his mind, the one that he thought he'd banished forever the day he took his vows. _No, Rumplestiltskin_, said the other, much stronger one that he chose to listen to now. _You know that's not true. You feel it. This is something else, something that's broken her. _

She looked up at him. "Even if I can't have a baby? Will you love me then?"

"Sweetheart, I didn't expect you to have one right away. We have to be patient..." he said gently. They'd discussed at length their failed attempts to conceive and he'd been to the doctor a month ago. They assured him everything was fine. She told him she was setting up her own appointment and he was confident there was nothing wrong with her either.

"No, you don't understand! I can't have a baby...ever...EVER!"

"You...you don't want to have one now?" he asked, stunned by her sudden change of heart and wondered what caused it.

"Noooooo! I want to have a baby with you so much...but I can't...I CAN'T! I'm barren, Rumple!" she cried. "I'm barren."

The words hit him like a sucker punch to the jaw. All he could do was hold her as she fell apart, her tears soaking his shirt like rain, and tears prickling his own eyes as he absorbed her sorrow . . . and his own.

**A/N: yes, this first chapter was pretty angsty, but it will get better, as this is actually not an angst ridden story. Please read and review and let us know if you enjoyed it. Thanks! **


	2. Discussions

**2**

**Discussions**

**A/N: This chapter is somewhat less angsty, and features some background on Rumbelle and also introduces the dog on the cover. . . thanks everyone who's R & R'd this and hope you all like this longer chapter!**

"I...I thought I had it all under control...I mean...I've always had problems but they told me I had nothing to worry about..." Belle sobbed."False hope . . . all of it!"

She looked up at him, her blue eyes pleading. "Can you forgive me, Rumple?"

Rumple stroked her hair, summoning a towel to him and gently wrapping it around her and simultaneously drying her as he spoke. Normally he would have just used magic, but he felt that she needed to feel his hands on her now. "Belle, there is nothing for me to forgive," he said tenderly. "What's happened is NOT your fault. Or mine, or anyone's. Now, suppose we continue this talk in the bedroom, hmm . . .not on the bathroom floor? Because the floor's rather hard on my old bones, dearie," he joked gently. "And you're shivering."

She nodded and allowed him to help her to her feet. In the back of her mind she still couldn't help thinking it still was her fault. She'd ignored the symptoms of her condition too long during the curse and even before it and now it was too late to change things.

Rumple finished drying her and then dried himself with a quick flick of his hand. Then he picked her up, cradling her to him like he had on their wedding night walking over the threshold of the house, and walked into the bedroom with her.

If she had any doubts about his devotion to her in spite of what she'd just told him, they vanished the moment she was in his arms. She could feel it in the way he held her.

He could hear the music from Bae's room from Super Mario Kart and was relieved his son was otherwise occupied with his game. He whisked her over to the bed with magic and set her down gently, as if she might shatter. "Okay. What would you like to wear?"

"It doesn't matter...just one of my nightgowns will be fine."

He summoned his cane and limped over to the dresser they shared. He rummaged through her pajama drawer, finding a nightgown that was soft cotton with a sexy sheared waist and colored a beautiful sapphire blue with climbing roses on it. He'd made it for her, as a morning gift for the day after the wedding night.

She smiled when she saw the gown he'd chosen in his hands, remembering the day he'd given it to her. She didn't have to ask if he made it with his own hands...she knew.

He also grabbed some underwear and then walked back to the bed with the garments, murmuring, "Here you go, sweetheart."

She dressed quickly for she was still shivering and the cotton warmed her skin like a caress.

While she did so, Rumple kicked off his shoes and went and sat on the bed, waiting for her to come and join him. They'd discovered early on in their marriage that the bed seemed the best place, not just for intimacy, but for heart-to-heart talks about things that were troubling them.

She crawled into bed beside him, propping the pillows up so that she could sit back against them. She was exhausted but didn't want to fall asleep until they talked. She'd never been able to confide in anyone as much as she did in him. He was more than just her husband and lover. he was also her best friend.

Rumple put an arm around her, snuggling beside her. He felt her anxiety and sorrow like a storm tossed wave within him, and he was desperate to assuage it. "Okay, so tell me exactly what the doctor said. Did they rule out surgery? Invitro fertilization?"

She nodded. "I did ask them that but they told me my condition was too far advanced for them to try either method. Had I been treated earlier..."

"How about . . .my magic? Would you like me to try healing you?"

"I've thought about that, Rumple...but I looked through your books before I got my test results back...and I'm not sure you can...the price may be too high..."

"I would pay it for you," he began.

"I don't want you to if it harms you. I couldn't live with myself knowing it brought you any pain..." Belle sighed deeply. "Part of me wants you to try too because I believe that it could work..."

"If you want me to, I will," he said sincerely. "You know I'd walk through the gates of hell for you."

She took his hands in hers. "If it requires you to take dark paths Rumple, then I don't want you to do it."

"Healing magic is never dark, dearie. Not unless you're sacrificing someone else's life force," he said, taking her hands in his. "But it does require considerable sacrifice on the part of the mage, depending on what's being healed."

"And that's what I'm afraid of...what the sacrifice will be!"

"And given what this is . . .it could probably require something very large . . .like a permanent injury for me. Because healing takes the price from the caster, dearie."

"Oh God," she moaned. "No! I can't let you do it. I _can't_."

"As you wish. But if you should change your mind . . . I can research it," he said, though he knew deep within his soul she would not.

"I don't want to lose you.. " she sniffled. "We...we can always adopt...eventually.,.."

"You won't," he soothed. "The bond we forged on our wedding night bound our life's threads together, Belle. So you shall live as long as I will . . .and sorcerers live a long time, dearie. I'm young for one of my kind, not even middle-aged yet, though I don't look it."

She was stunned. "Why didn't you tell me this...that night?"

"Well . . . I was rather caught up in other things," he smirked. "And then I just . . .figured I'd tell you later."

She blushed. He just said exactly what she was thinking.

"And you know the price I paid for breaking my curse," he tapped his lame leg pointedly. "So . . . yes, we can adopt . . .I can start looking at agencies when you're ready . . ."

"Not yet...I have the spelling bee to get ready for..and we still have some work to do with Bae."

"Ahh, Bae . . . shall I tell you what went on today with him?" Rumple sighed.

"Why do I get the impression it was not good?"

"Because it wasn't. It started with a quarrel over him blasting his devil metal music again so the people in Boston could hear it . . ." he related what had gone on. " . . . and he forced me to wash his mouth out with Ivory for his language. I'm starting to think I ought to carry some in my pocket."

Belle shook her head. "Damn Regina! He's trying but I miss the well behaved boy I cared for in your castle."

"Me too, dearie. Oh, we had the occasional spats before, and he got into typical mischief, but usually I could put the fear of God into him with a Look and a warning. And he was never so . . .insolent and rebellious. Though it could be the age too . . . and the fact that a lot of kids today get off on disrespecting their elders."

"And those dreadful gangs he was in..."

"Yes . . .they thrived on breaking rules . . . and hurting others . . .and with them it was survival of the fittest . . ."

"I was so terrified the day you brought him to my class. Most of the female teachers were terrified of the gangs and didn't want to walk to their cars alone for fear of being beaten up...or worse."

"Yes. I know. But Bae would have never hurt you . . . or any woman, Belle. I drummed that lesson into him by the time he was four. He doesn't have it in him to hurt a lady. Takes after me that way."

"Yes he does." She smiled. "When I got my memories back I wasn't all that surprised you were my Rumplestiltskin. You didn't have the grey skin and leather pants but the face was still the same. But it took you long enough to ask me out!"

He laughed. "I can conjure some of them if you want. I miss them," he said with a roguish wink. "And I knew from one glimpse into your sapphire eyes that you were my Belle . . .with her nose stuck in a book and tripping over your high heels."

"I have made them a bit shorter now thank you very much!"

"I didn't want to be so forward . . . I wasn't sure how you would think of me. So many people in this town thought of me as the coldhearted beast of a landlord thanks to Regina . . .I was afraid you did too . . ." he admitted.

"I saw a different side of you when you brought Bae to me and asked me to help you teach him how to overcome his dyslexia. And it was how I remembered you from the Dark Castle. You were .. . beastly to everyone else but Bae and me." Belle told him. "But in your defense most of the people you dealt were enough to make anyone beastly. Do you remember the day I chased Charming off with my broom?"

"Yes . . .I almost wet my pants laughing," he said with a wicked smirk.

"Well, he had the nerve to ask you if you'd...violated me yet!" his wife snapped. "You brought me to your castle and I quote..."I need a caretaker for my son and my rather large estate." Belle recited. "I could still see the shocked look on Father's face."

"Right. And I wasn't looking for love . . .I needed someone to keep an eye on Bae while I was off making deals with the desperate . . .and trying to get Charming together with Snow because I knew somehow that was necessary . . .and believe me, if it hadn't been, after that little comment he'd have been a donkey!"

"Not a snail?"

"No, a donkey so I could beat his ass, dearie!" Rumple giggled. "I chose you because . . .you seemed like you had a good heart and weren't flighty or . . . or ambitious or concerned with who you could step on to get a husband. And you seemed like the sort I could actually have a real conversation with and not just discuss the weather and how your dress matched your eyes."

"Oh...so that's why you made my dress that color! And you made it sound like it was nothing!" She grabbed his pillow and smacked him with it.

"I didn't say it was _nothing_," he protested, grabbing another pillow. "I said you needed something new because your old one was falling to pieces . . .well, that and I didn't like the idea of you cleaning with a ball gown . . .the fabric was getting ruined . . ." He smacked her back with it.

She giggled.

"Besides . . .I liked the way you looked in that dress . . .I could see your beautiful legs . . ." he remarked.

Then her giggling turned into tears. "I'm sorry," she sobbed.

Then he drew her to him and kissed her. "Belle . . .my beloved . . .please don't cry . . .don't you know I love you just the way you are . . .no matter what."

"And you know I love you..."

"Despite my crippled leg and beastly reputation," he said, wiping away her tears with his thumbs. "We're both of us imperfect people, sweetheart. But it's what makes our love grow. Because perfect . . . stagnates. Only with adversity can the heart learn to love truly, because then it learns to love a whole person."

"And we've been through our fair share.." she murmured.

"Yes . . .with your father . . . coming to demand you come home and accusing me of ruining you . . . and Bae shooting Gaston in the backside with his bow and arrow for calling me a "filthy baby-raping beast"." He recalled. "And Cora creating the Dark Curse and using Regina's misplaced revenge on Snow and everyone to cast it . . .yes, but now we're together and nothing shall ever separate us again because of it."

"Cora can never come here, can she?"

"I don't know about that. She could . . . if she found a way to cross realms . . . but it's highly unlikely. This world . . . is not easily accessible to realms travel. She would have to pay a steep price to do so . . . like Regina did. And Cora has never been one to sacrifice what she loves most."

"Then she would have to sacrifice her own life and would get nowhere."

"Yes. So don't worry about her," Rumple soothed. He gently cupped her belly with one hand. "After all that poking and prodding, are you sore, Belle?" he asked, concerned. "Because that I can heal."

"A bit," she admitted.

"Then let me make it better," he whispered, and a bright white light spread out from his hand, healing the ache within.

She felt the pain subsiding and lay back against the pillows.

He gently drew the covers around her. "Rest, dearie. I'll wake you for supper. I was going to make tomato salad with fresh basil and oregano and how about some chicken?"

"Sounds perfect..."

He kissed her gently. "Sleep now . . .sleep is the physician of pain."

She closed her eyes and drifted off, a small smile on her lips.

Rumple smiled at her tenderly. The news had been a shock to him as well, and he was still absorbing the blow, but he knew they would get through this.

He slipped off the bed and went downstairs. He needed to get supper started and the dog needed to be walked.

"Papa, did Belle come home yet?" Bae asked him, entering the kitchen some ten minutes later.

"Yes, she did. Right now, she's upstairs sleeping," Rumple replied, he was tossing the salad. Setting it aside, he beckoned to his son. "Sit down, Bae. I have to tell you something . . ."

Judging from the look on his father's face it wasn't good news either."Something wrong with Belle?" he asked worriedly.

"Belle . . .is . . .well, the doctor told her she . . .can't have children. She was diagnosed with a certain condition called endometriosis . . ." Rumple related the details in a soft controlled voice.

"Oh wow...I'm sorry, Papa. I knew she really wanted to give me a little brother or sister. Are you okay? I know you wanted to have another kid too..." Bae asked gently, sensing his parent was very upset.

"Yes, but . . .there's nothing we can do . . .but accept the fate spun for us," he said sadly. "I have you . . .and maybe someday we'll adopt and I will love that baby like I do you . . .but for now . . ." he trailed off, and turned his head away to hide the sudden shimmer of tears.

"You can't help her? With your magic I mean..." he put a hand on his father's shoulder. He felt terrible for Belle and his father both.

"No, son. She doesn't want me to . . .she says the price will cost too much . . . she doesn't want me to kill myself . . ."

"Y...You think that would happen?"

"It would require a very great sacrifice .. .the white magic always does, Bae. And as a white magician . . . I would pay all the cost required."

"It can't require your life! There has to be a way, Papa. You love her. We both love her. There has to be some loophole you can find somewhere."

"I don't know . . .I would have to research it . . .and sometimes, son, there IS no way around magic's price. I learned that the hard way when I took the dagger curse. No matter how I wanted to use the magic for good . . .I couldn't . . .I was cursed to darkness and dark was what I became."

"But this is different, Papa. You're not taking dark magic. You're using white magic to create life!" Bae argued. "There's nothing dark in that. And the baby you have would be from true love...and isn't that the most powerful magic in all the realms?"

"Yes, it is. And it's why, for now, I'm not going to try anything. Perhaps our love will create a miracle . . .who knows?" He spread his hands. "Now, Belle is still depressed and upset, so please try not to make her more so by quarreling with me, okay?"

"Okay, Papa. I'll be too busy anyway...got a huge test coming up in Chemistry and you know I gotta pass it."

"Do you need me to help with the formulas?" Rumple asked.

"Yeah 'cause I really suck at 'em."

"All right. We'll study after supper. Now go walk Major, he's giving me puppydog eyes." He indicated the family shepherd, a huge black and tan dog lying on the kitchen floor, that he had gotten for Bae from the shelter soon after taking the boy to live with him.

"Okay...c'mon boy!" Bae grabbed the leash off the wall and held it out for the dog.

Major was on his feet like a shot. He was a retired police dog, incredibly smart, and had a brain like a cunning ten year old. He had been given to the shelter when his officer was killed in Boston and the dog refused to work with anyone.

Bae hooked the leash up to the dog's collar and led him outside. He reminded him of the sheepdog they had back in the Enchanted Forest. Rumple took the animal in after it had been caught in a hunting snare and nursed it back to health himself.

Their beloved sheepdog, Molly, died shortly before the Ogre Wars and they didn't have any other pets after that.

Major pranced on his leash, walking the correct number of paces at Bae's left side. The dog had been depressed and surly after losing his partner. He stubbornly refused to stay with any of the other officers or their families, eventually running away and ending up in Storybrooke, exhausted and sick. An electronic chip embedded in his neck and an ID serial tag tattooed in his ear told the volunteers where he'd come from and after they'd spoken to the Boston K9 unit, made the decision to keep him until they could find him a home with someone willing to love him . . .and whom he was willing to stay with.

If there was one thing the cursed Bae longed for more than a family, it was a pet. He was over the moon the day the man he knew as Mr. Gold took him to the shelter to get a dog.

He knew he wanted Major when he saw him but his father advised him to approach the animal carefully.

The dog had been lying in the back of the cage with his head on his paws, looking miserable . . . and bored. He made no attempt to come up and greet people like the other dogs.

'He looks like he doesn't want to be adopted," Bae said to Rumple.

"He's depressed," Gold said quietly. "He was a police dog, according to what I've been told. He lost his partner in a shoot out and wants nothing to do with anyone now he's gone. It's why he's here. He ran away from all the families they placed him with."

"How do I get him to like me?"

"Let him smell you first. And then wait. Let him make the first move. That's a highly trained animal, son. He's smart. If he wants to get to know you, he will."

It took time and a lot of patience now Major was as fiercely protective of them as they were of him.

While he walked the dog, Bae couldn't help thinking about Belle. He couldn't imagine the pain she was going through.

Major nuzzled his hand, sensing the boy's unease. He gave him a quizzical look from his wise brown eyes.

"I'm sorry boy...I just wish there was something that we could do for Belle. She won't let my dad use magic when it could help her and I don't believe it would take as much of him as he thinks. He's not dark anymore." And he was sorry that he had forgotten that little fact earlier, when he'd lost his temper.

Major whuffed and licked his hand, as if agreeing with him.

**Page~*~*~*~Break**

Belle dreamed she was with her husband, in their bed, having one of their heart to heart talks.

She could see his hand gently caressing her belly only it was rounded and not flat and telling her that they hadn't needed any other magic than the strength of their love to defy the odds and have the child they wanted.

It was a dream she didn't want to wake up from.

But when she did awaken, the tears fell again.

It still hurt so much. Rumple healed the pain in her body but how could they begin to heal the pain in her heart?

She crawled out of bed and walked downstairs into the kitchen to see her husband hard at work making dinner.

Rumple had just slid the pan of chicken parm into the oven to bake when he felt Belle stirring through their bond. Usually he could only feel her when they were either in close proximity or something was troubling or upsetting her deeply. Or like now, when he was actively "listening" with his mind, and tuned in to her emotional resonance.

She was grateful he knew how to cook, even in the Dark Castle. Putting her near a kitchen was like asking for a natural disaster to happen and a disaster did happen in the Dark Castle when she did attempt to make dinner.

A disaster involving a stove flying out the window.

Though to this day she couldn't recall how she'd managed such a feat without magic.

"Smells delicious...as always," she said softly, trying to put on her mask again.

"Thanks. I'm no professional, but I can make a decent chicken parm. And a very good lasagna . . .better than the overpriced frozen ones at Granny's," he said, removing his oven mitts and embracing her. He didn't need to ask how she was feeling, he already knew. And so he just held her, and offered what little comfort he could. "Would you like some tea? I have rose petal black tea."

"Yes, please. Did Bae take Major for his walk? I'm sure he was prancing around here like a fugitive running from the SWAT team."

"He did. I told him about your condition," Rumple said carefully, getting out the tea things. "I hope you don't mind, but I don't feel comfortable not telling him something like this. He would feel hurt if we left him out."

"No...he had a right to know. This affects him as much as it does the two of us. What did he say?"

"He doesn't understand why I can't use magic to heal you," Rumple said wryly. "And he feels very bad about the fact that you can't have children. He thinks that I should be able to heal you without worrying about magic's price. But he doesn't understand . . . white or black . . .there's always a price . . ..it just differs in what it is and who pays for it."

"And I still don't want you to pay it."

"I know. And I'll respect that decision," he reassured her. "I'm through with lying to you, Belle. I only did so because the dark magic bent me that way. Before the dagger curse, I never did. And I taught Bae to be honest too."

"I know." She smiled. "And I love him for caring enough to think there is a way to help me without risks."

The kettle whistled and he poured the water into the Blue Willow teapot so the tea could steep inside it. "He used to always be an optimist. But the curse changed him. Still, maybe he's remembering who he used to be." Rumple said hopefully.

They had just sat down for tea when they heard a scratching at the door. "Looks like our child is back," Rumple said, and went to open the door.

Major walked in, holding his own leash. Rumple frowned. "Major, where's Bae?"

Belle's hands flew to her mouth. _Oh no! Not Bae...please..._

The dog dropped the leash and looked at Rumple expectantly. Rumple unsnapped the lead and said, "Belle, he must have sent Major home, you know he's done that occasionally, and Major doesn't seem upset like he would be if Bae were hurt." Once before, Major had come to his shop and practically dragged him out the door, because Bae had sprained his ankle falling in a hole in the woods.

"Why did he do it now? He knows we would be worried!"

"Well, I'm going to have to ask him that when he comes back," Rumple said tightly. "And he better have a damn good reason too. Gods, but he makes me want to turn him over my knee sometimes."

Major went over to Belle and put his head in her lap, making a sort of loving growling noise in his throat, as if he were talking to her.

"You know...don't you?" She scratched his ears. "I...I'm going to be fine...I have all of you...and that's all I need right now."

The shepherd's tail swept the floor and he sighed contentedly.

Rumple eyed the pair fondly. "Sometimes I wish I were a dog . . .so you could scratch _my _ears," he chuckled, sitting back down to drink his tea before it got cold.

She smiled seductively. "You don't seem to mind the other places I scratch...but Rumple...for shame...not in front of the dog!"

He smirked guiltily. "YOU brought it up, dearie!"

"So I did. Poor Major...we haven't scarred you for life, have we?"

The dog shook his head. A few moments later his ears perked up and he looked towards the door and barked softly.

As if on cue, the front door opened and Bae came in, looking rather ticked off, his hair mussed from running all the way back home.

"Bae...what's going on? Why did you send Major back home alone and make us worry like that?" Belle demanded.

"Sorry, Mama," the boy apologized. "But I had to. That dickhead Etienne Devereaux was starting with Rory McAvoy again. You know, calling her jailbait 'cause her dad was in jail for crap. I had to send Maj home, he'd have bitten the shit outta that idiot. Especially after I threatened to kick his ass."

Etienne was Gaston's son . . .and there was a long standing feud between him and Bae.

"That boy needs to be expelled!" Etienne had been in one of her classes and like his father, he didn't get the hint when she told him to keep his hands and eyes off her. He was the son of Gaston's first wife, a mousy woman named Marjorie, who had died of a fever before Gaston began to court her. The boy had been twelve then, he was fifteen now.

"He needs his ass kicked good is what he needs," Bae said heatedly. "If he shoots his mouth off again I swear I'm gonna punch him out."

"Bae, what have I told you about fighting?" Rumple interjected.

He didn't want the boy to get into the habit of using his fists to solve problems . . .which was what he'd done on the streets.

"I think it's time for a talk with Gaston," Belle said though the thought of facing him made her skin crawl. To think that her father wanted her to marry that boorish, brainless...

"To think first and try and find another solution," his son recited. "I know, Papa. I didn't hit him . . . this time." Unlike the last time, when he'd knocked out a tooth. He'd been suspended for fighting back then, and Gold had to pay for the dentist to repair the kid's front tooth."I shoulda let Major bite his nuts off."

"They would give him indigestion," Rumple quipped.

"Yeah, and he doesn't deserve that," Bae laughed, and stroked his dog's head. "Right, Maj? Sorry I scared you, Mama. Am I in trouble now? You gonna make me write some Godawful essay?"

"I should."

Bae hung his head. "Aww . . .c'mon . . ." he gave her a pleading look from beneath his long eyelashes.

"In fact I will...on why you should not get into fights or scare your parents half to death." Belle scolded. "And I want it done by the end of the week...ten pages complete with examples."

"Ten pages!" her son exclaimed. "Holy f-" he choked off the rest of what he was about to say at a warning glare from Rumple.

She knew he would add onto it if Bae persisted and make him taste soap for good measure. "And no using large fonts or double space cheats like you did the last time."

"You want to make it fifteen?" her husband asked sharply. "And earn yourself another mouth washing?"

The boy shook his head. "Umm . . .no, sir!" He thought ruefully he couldn't pull anything on Belle, she was smart as a whip, and he also knew if he'd been twelve instead of fourteen that Rumple would have added a spanking to that list.

"Good. You can start on it tonight...after you finish your homework," his father told him.

"But Papa, I gotta study for my Chemistry test," his son reminded him.

"I forgot about that, Rumple," Belle said sadly. She knew her son had to pass that test to bring his grades up. If he didn't he would repeat the year.

"All right. But that means you owe her, Baelfire. When that test is over, you're writing that essay," Rumple told him. "And I'm not senile yet, so don't think I'll forget about it."

"You forget? You're like an elephant, you never do," his son admitted. "And I know better than to try and pull the wool over my mom's eyes."

"Yes, you do. I caught on to every trick you pulled early."

"Yup. And then I had you _and_ Papa on my butt . . . which was worse than getting the snot beat outta me by Razor Mike and his peeps," Bae sighed.

Belle glanced over at the oven. "Looks like dinner's almost ready...and the stove isn't going out the window."

"Cause you aren't cooking on it," her son teased. "So it's not running away."

"All I did was try to make sauce!"

"And you scared it so bad it grew wings!" Bae smirked.

"I can still see your father...even he was shocked." Belle grinned. "Or was it impressed, Rumple?"

"Well, it wasn't everyday I saw THAT," Rumple laughed. "And it was both . . . because I still can't figure out how it happened."

"Maybe it was latent magic surfacing," Bae suggested. "Papa, you said once that we all have some latent magical ability in us . . . even a little bit."

"But making sauce?" she shook her head. "There's no magic in that."

"And maybe it was responding to your frustration. I seem to recall a lot of . . .err . . . unladylike language coming out of there before the stove took off." Rumple pointed out.

"But...what I was thinking...that might have had something to do with it." Belle mused, then said, "Well, you made me mad!"

"Me?" he jerked a thumb at himself.

"What was it you said? Oh NOW I remember...You can't even keep your balance on a ladder, dearie so what makes you think you can cook?" his wife quoted. "And the whole damned kitchen bragged about how you were so great a cook that it barely had to do anything."

"Jeez, Papa, way to go!" Bae clapped insolently.

"Watch it, mister," Gold warned. Then he said sheepishly, "Uh . . . the castle was a bit . . . enamored of the fact that I could do more than boil water . . .the other Dark Ones weren't good at cooking anything except people that displeased them. . ."

"Well, the mood I was in that day I thought about roasting _you_!"

Bae giggled. "A Rump roast!"

Rumple mock frowned at him. "Dearie, you're begging for a Stiltskin Ticke Torture session!"

She blushed, recalling how one tickling session had gotten a bit heated when he went after her with it. Thankfully Bae wasn't in the room at the time but the enchanted furniture was probably traumatized.

"Yeah, you think you can catch me, old man?" his son challenged.

Major suddenly lay down on the floor and hid his face behind his paws, his classic pose when someone had said something stupid.

"Don't look to me to protect you, Bae." Belle was grinning.

"Don't need to," her son said with an impudent smirk. "I'm like a wildfire," he said, referring to his street handle when he'd been a Scorpion.

"Oh yes, but your father's the master...dearie!" Belle reminded him.

All the while Bae had been bragging he'd been looking over at Belle . . .and not paying attention to Rumple, who was the master of the sneak attack. Until a pair of sinewy hands caught him about the waist and cried, "Well, little bonfire, it appears you weren't fast enough!" and Rumple pulled his son onto his knee and began tickling him unmercifully. "Did you say I was slow? Huh? How about now?"

"Looooser..." Belle taunted.

"Nooo . . .Papa . . .s-top . . ." Bae was VERY ticklish, a fact his father knew well, and he was laughing so much he couldn't move, except to double over Rumple's knees.

Belle laughed, knowing he was in the perfect spot to get a playful swat.

"H-help, Major!" Bae cried, but the shepherd gave him a Look that said quite plainly that he was on his own. Bae was his Pack, but Rumple was Alpha.

"You know, I think a certain brat needs a reminder about respecting his father," Rumple said, winking at her.

Too late Bae realized his vulnerability and tried to get off Rumple's lap.

"I'll just...enjoy the show..."

Rumple smirked and drew his hand back, cupping it so it wouldn't sting, and giving Bae a playful smack on the behind.

"M' too old to get spanked . . ." his son yelped, wriggling. "Mama, tell him!"

"Son...you're on your own..."

"Papa . . . stop . . . please . . ." Bae giggled.

"Still think I'm too old, boy?"

"Okay . . . you're umm . . .amazing and I worship you . . .now please stop . . . before I pee all over you . . ." his son pleaded.

"Please don't...I am not washing pee out of his clothes."

"You won't have to . . . he will . . ." Rumple informed her.

"And it'll be your fault!" Bae cried.

"Oh, will it...then how about I..umm...do this!" She got up and left the room

Wait for it...she thought as she stood out in the hallway.

It wasn't going to be easy...he would sense she was up to some mischief through their bond.

She tiptoed back into the kitchen, caught her husband around the waist and pulled him back, tickling him in the spot she knew was his weak one.

"Hey! Dearie, whose side are you on?" he giggled.

"Well, my beast...now who's amazing...?" she purred.

"Yeah, Papa! She gotcha!" Bae snickered.

He used the distraction to scramble away.

"My wife, of course," Rumple grinned. "Why do you think I married her?" Then he tilted his head up and kissed her pert mouth.

She kissed him back as she had that day in the Dark Castle..it was their first kiss...the first of many and it was on that day that he showed her he was falling as deeply in love with her as she had with him.

Rumple would have happily continued kissing her, but the oven timer beeped and his son said sassily, "Ya know, you keep kissing like this and I'm gonna need to call the fire department . . .or get the hose!"

She smirked. "Hmmmmm...interesting choice of words, Rumplestiltskin...

Had Ruby overheard them, she would have made some not too subtle suggestions.

"You know what Ruby would say..." she chuckled.

"What?" Bae aked.

"Umm...nothing you need to hear, Baelfire!"

"Yeah, my virgin ears!" he hooted.

"Now let's eat. I'm starving."

"Okay, dearie. Bae, set the table. The chicken needs to sit a bit before we eat it." Rumple said, and he winked at Belle before murmuring, "And we'll continue THIS little discussion later, eh?"

"Yes..."

Bae rolled his eyes. "Papa, get a room!" Then he ducked Rumple's swat. "Missed!"

We will...later, Belle thought. "He won't miss all the time, Bae, so consider yourself lucky."

Belle was grateful her boys could bring some laughter into what began as a very dark day for her. She still couldn't forget that at the end of it, she still couldn't bear a child of her own.

But the last thing she wanted to do now was fall apart in front of them again and ruin the mood.

**Page~*~*~*~Break**

The next morning she was in too much of a panic to think about it while she sat in the town hall along with Mary Margaret as the three best students from their classes completed to represent their town in the county finals.

Rumple closed the shop and sat in on the competition, reminded of Bae prior to the curse. Had the Enchanted Forest been familiar with the concept of a spelling bee, he would have won every competition in the realms.

It didn't matter to Belle which of her students won, she just wanted one of them to be chosen. One of Mary Margaret's students was always chosen to go to the county finals, only that was as far as they went. Belle knew her top three students had the potential to go to the Nationals.

She locked gazes with the parent of one of the children in the room. If it were up to Regina Mills, Henry would be representing Storybrooke, no questions asked.

But Henry was firm that he would succeed or fail to get that coveted spot on his own and Belle was very proud of him for it.

"Henry, your word is muliebral and it relates to characteristic of women," Belle read from her pronouncer's guide, taking special care to pronounce it correctly so that he could attempt to spell it.

"M...u...l...i...e..b...r..a...l. Muliebral,"

"That's correct, Henry."

Grace was the next student to spell. "Grace, your word is focaccia."

"Can I have the definition please?"

"It's from Latin to Italian to English and it is a flat Italian bread seasoned with herbs and olive oil."

"F...o...c...s...i.."

"...a"

Belle rang the small bell in front of her. "I'm sorry, Grace. The correct spelling is f...o..c...a..c...c..i...a."

Grace was disappointed but there was always next year. She returned to her seat.

They conducted three more rounds, declaring Henry the winner.

"Congratulations, Belle. Henry's going to do well at the county finals."

"He's going all the way, Ms. Blanchard," Regina said as she approached them. "Isn't he, Mrs Gold?"

"I believe he can."

Belle picked up her purse and approached Rumple's chair. He was smiling. "I guess we'll be going to the county finals, eh?"

"And hopefully they'll put us up in a decent hotel."

"Even if they don't I think I can work a little magic on our room."

"Have a good day at work. Do you want me to pick up anything special for dinner?"

"No need. I have an idea what I want to make."

He linked her arm through his and led her outside. Once he was certain no one else was looking, he pulled her into his arms for a kiss.

"I won't be home too late."

"Good because you don't want me near the stove."

He laughed. "No we can't have that."

While she was walking back to her classroom she could overhear Mary Margaret talking to someone.

"Why didn't you tell them yet?"

"The principal is supposed to set up meeting with them this afternoon but if this is true, he's going to be expelled."

"But Belle and Rumple have been studying with him at home. Why would he do...?"

"He needs the grade to pass."

"Excuse me but what exactly are you implying?" Belle asked coldly. Mary Margaret and the other teacher she was talking to both froze, remembering who they were talking to and more importantly who she was married to...


	3. Liars and Lemonade Slushies

**3**

**Liars and Lemonade Slushies**

Mary Margaret's eyes wandered around the room, looking for a quick exit. As she was about to leave, Belle blocked the door. "Nice try. You're not going anywhere until you answer my question and I don't give a damn if the principal gets upset or what. As far as I'm concerned, he can go to hell. And you'd better wipe that smirk off your face, Miss Blue, because the next time I see you in your fairy form I'll have my husband blast you with squid ink and cut your wings off with his hedge clippers!"

"We can't say anything about it Belle, you have to speak to the principal." Mary Margaret tried to remain calm but she was still uneasy.

Belle was a force to be reckoned with even before people knew about her relationship with Rumplestiltskin. "Then don't be discussing it in the hallways where the students can hear, where anyone can hear!" she snapped. "We're supposed to be setting examples for our students and here the two of you are gossiping like a bunch of high school girls in the restroom!"

"We'd…ahhh better get going Mary…our classes are about to start." The Blue Fairy wanted to out as much distance between her and the former Dark One's wife as possible. Even without the dagger, the sorcerer's powers were much stronger than hers and he didn't always need magic to make someone fear his wrath.

The two women made a hasty retreat while Belle made a call to her husband.

"…From what you overheard Belle, I'm afraid you may be right…our son has been accused of cheating and it was on his Chemistry test. It's not possible! We went over those formulas for hours last night."

"I know...but we're going to have to see what proof they have. I'll wait for you outside. Just…get here as soon as you can."

"I'm leaving now!"

Belle nearly paced a hole in the sidewalk by the time she spotted Rumple's Cadillac pull into the parking lot and embraced him as soon as he got out.

"Mr. Hale called right after I talked to you and it's just what we feared, sweetheart. They've accused Bae of cheating on his test and they have evidence but I still don't believe it. There has to be an explanation."

Mr. Hale, who was in fact the March Hare back in the Enchanted Forest wished he were back in said forest the moment Rumplestiltskin and Belle Gold walked into his office but he had a job to do and it was not a pleasant one. He knew Baelfire's reputation as a former gang member though the boy straightened himself out with his father and stepmother's help.

The cheating accusation came as a complete surprise and the teacher who made the accusation had an impeccable reputation herself, odd considering she used to be the Wicked Witch of the West from Oz until she had an unfortunate accident with a bucket of water. Old Elmira Gulch traded in her broom and flying monkeys for a bicycle and a blackboard and she made the students in her Chemistry class work hard to earn a passing grade.

He counted to ten to calm himself then presented the facts to the boy's parents as he knew them. After the exams were collected, Miss Gulch had to step out of the room. Baelfire's paper had been at the top of the stack with no eraser marks on the sheet. When she returned the paper looked like someone had been erasing answers and writing in new ones. The original answers were incorrect, the new ones were correct. "Also, a student has come forward suggesting that your son copied the correct answers from his exam," Mr. Hale added.

"This is insane…my son is not a cheat!" Rumple said angrily. "And I want to hear his side of this!"

They called Bae out of his next class. When he walked into the principal's office and found his parents there he feared something was wrong with one or both of them.

Rumple looked up at his son and sighed. He knew his son feared repeating the school year. "Bae, we've been told you supposedly cheated on your Chemistry exam…changed your answers on your tests when the teacher left the room."

"Papa, I didn't cheat! I swear. You can't prove I did!" he yelled at Mr. Hale.

"Bae…." Belle placed a hand on his shoulder. "We'll get to the bottom of this."

"You don't believe them….do you?"

"No, we don't want to but unfortunately the teacher claims she has proof."

"Mr. Hale, I'd like to see this exam." Rumple had his suspicions who was behind the attack on his son's credibility, he just needed to see the evidence of it for himself. If the answers were changed on his son's test paper, they would be in another's handwriting. He would spot the difference between the two writing samples immediately; others would not unless they studied them carefully.

Mr. Hale asked his secretary to page Miss Gulch to the office.

Unable to resist it, Bae started humming the wicked witch's theme from the Wizard of Oz earning chastising Looks from his parents and he held his tongue when she handed his father his test paper. There was a tense silence in the room while the magician studied the test form. He wasn't using magic, didn't need to. Minutes later he handed the paper back to Mr. Hale.

"That handwriting doesn't belong to my son." He pointed at two questions. "Look at the writing on this question and the one below it….they're not the same….even a third grader can tell you that!"

When they examined the paper themselves, the Chemistry teacher and Mr. Hale were forced to admit Rumple was right.

"Now then, who was Bae accused of copying from, Miss Gulch?" Rumple asked, sounding very much like an attorney in a courtroom though over the years he hadn't spent much time in one. Most of his deals were concluded well before a courtroom was needed.

"It was Etienne, wasn't it?" Bae asked her. "That dickhead…"

"Bae, let me handle this,'" his father scolded gently.

I'm afraid he's right, Mr. Gold," Miss Gulch admitted.

"Then I want him and his father in here so we can sort this out," Rumple demanded. He didn't enjoy having to face Belle's former fiancé again but he wasn't going to let the bastard's offspring torment his son either.

While they waited for Gaston and Etienne to arrive together, Rumple and Belle discussed Bae's progress in the class with Miss Gulch. Even with several incorrect answers on the exam, his grade was high enough that he would pass the course.

"That was what had me so confused, Mr. Gold. I was in the process of grading Baelfire's paper when I had to step out. Then Etienne came in and informed me Baelfire kept glancing over his desk during the test. That's when I noticed his paper had been changed and informed Mr. Hale. I know my eyes aren't as sharp as they used to be and I have a reputation of being a witch…pun intended, but your son has been working very hard this semester and I was shocked that he would have done something so dishonest."

"Now you know he didn't."

Gaston was less than pleased to see his nemesis and his son waiting for them in Mr. Hale's office along with Miss Gulch and Belle. "What wild stories are you making up now, Gold?"

"Don't need to do that when the proof's right here in black and  
white, dearie! Your son tried to have my son expelled from school for cheating."

"He probably did cheat and is trying to put the blame on my boy. I'd expect nothing less from a kid who lived on the street like a rat and ran around with gangs."

"He was cursed like we all were or have you forgotten that, Gaston?" Belle asked angrily. "It seems that you have."

"And he shouldn't be judged for his actions while he was cursed. He had no control over them!" Rumple shouted. "None of us did! His past has no bearing on the issue at hand. There are two different sets of handwriting on this paper…one is my son's, the other belongs to someone else and the only person in this room who has a grudge against my son is yours! Miss Gulch, do you have Etienne's test?"

"I do," she replied and pulled it out of the folder she was holding.

Rumple placed both side by side on the desk, showing everyone the places where Etienne's penmanship appeared on Bae's paper. "Now I'm not a handwriting expert but you can see the similarities between my son's test and this one. This test has two distinct handwriting samples while this one has only one…your son's," Rumple explained.

"That'll be all we need, Mr. Gold. Thank you. You're all free to leave…ah, ah….not you two!" Mr. Hale informed Gaston and Etienne when they moved to leave. "We have the issue of your son's future at this school to discuss."

"Come on…let's go home," Belle said softly to her two favorite men.

Just before they got in the car Bae spotted Gaston and Etienne. "You dick!" he yelled at Etienne and tried to rush at him, his father yanking him back.

"You stay right where you are, Baelfire Gold!" Belle warned.

"You know Belle, I always wondered why you wanted to be with a guy old enough to be your father. Guess it was so you could play with the kid on the side eh?" Gaston asked, smirking.

"You're disgusting!" she yelled.

"You bastard!" Rumple hissed, releasing his son so that he could teach Gaston that no one talked about his wife like that and got away with it. Belle stepped in front of him and Bae had his own fists raised to put in a shot or two.

"No!"

"Belle, I am not going to stand here and let him talk…"

"You are not stooping to his level. You preach to Bae all the time about not fighting….practice it." She glared over at Gaston. "Get the hell out of here and leave us alone before you find yourself spending the night in jail!"

"You're welcome to her, old man," Gaston chuckled. "Always was too bookish for me anyway."

"You're walking a very fine line with me, Gaston," Rumple sneered. "If you or that son of yours does anything else to try to hurt my family, you're going to find your ass in court facing a lawsuit that'll bankrupt you for the rest of your life!"

Wisely the other man backed down knowing Rumple would make good on his threat.

Once they were out of sight Belle breathed a sigh of relief and gave her husband and son a Look.

"What?" Rumple queried.

"Hotheads…the both of you! Do I have to start carrying bail money in my purse?"

"No," they answered.

"Good."

As soon as they got home Rumple reminded his son that he had an essay to write for Belle now that his Chemistry test was done. He took his laptop downstairs to work on it. His father was trying to find something interesting to watch on TV and Belle was reading the newspaper.

"Rumple, they're having a classic movie double feature at the drive-in!"

"Oh? What's playing?"

"A Streetcar Named Desire and Mildred Pierce."

Bae snorted. "Sounds like a bunch of chick flicks to me. Count me out."

"You think everything other than Harry Potter is a chick flick!" Rumple teased his son.

"What time does it start, Belle?"

"Six. Do you want to go?"

"Of course."

"You'll be making out halfway through the first movie!"

"We do not go to the drive in to make out, Baelfire!" Rumple informed him.

Belle tried to look away before her stepson could see the guilty look on her face. Rumple took her to the drive-in several times while they were dating and even though there was a few times when they almost broke their promise to each other that they would wait to make love for the first time on their wedding night, they were able to restrain themselves enough to honor that promise.

"Yeah right," Bae muttered and resumed his typing.

By his foot, Major dozed, a large rawhide bone basted with juice inbetween his paws.

"I'm going to make some pepper steak with rice tonight," Rumple told them. "It's easy and quick and I'll be done with everything so we can just enjoy ourselves on this date."

"Just don't give the people in the other cars a show, Papa," Bae smirked.

Rumple eyed his offspring. "Are you saying I can't control myself?"

"Well . . .based on how you are on the couch some nights at home. . ."

"Just what's that supposed to mean?" Belle demanded.

"Uh . . . well first you start out sitting by each other . . . and then when some scary part comes, Mama you jump in his lap, next thing you know you're all cuddly and snuggly, and calling each other sweetheart and stuff, and before you know it you're kissing like the world's on fire and you're both gonna die," their son drawled, his dark eyes sparkling. "And if you get that way at the movies . . . somebody's gonna call the cops!"

"You have a degenerate mind, Baelfire!" Rumple shook a finger at him.

"Yeah . . . I wonder where I got that from." Bae said sassily.

Rumple swatted him on the back of the head. "Behave, before I make you scrub a toilet since your mind's in the gutter."

Then he left his son alone and went to make dinner.

Bae sighed and reluctantly went back to his assignment. It had been fun, though, to tease his papa like that. He wondered if he would ever know what it was like to be on a date like that. The one girl he had been friends with during the curse, who had been, like him, a member of the Scorpions, was now forbidden since the curse had broken, to talk with him. By the order of her older brother, who was also her guardian. And surprisingly, she hadn't tried to break that rule, which made Bae think maybe she wanted to just forget him and everything they'd shared.

He huffed and went to type another sentence.

**Page~*~*~*~*~Break**

After dinner, Bae went back to trying to finish five pages of his essay before he took a break and watched some TV, while Belle cleaned up the kitchen and then got into something a bit more casual for their date. She chose a soft knitted dress in a periwinkle color with a silk scarf in a violet pattern. She wore velvet gray half boots and took a light jacket just in case she got cold.

Rumple was wearing a casual V-neck pullover colored a deep plum, and gray slacks and his comfortable loafers, he brought his jean jacket with him and tossed it in the back seat of his Caddy.

"Have fun!" Bae called as they left. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"Don't have any wild parties," Rumple shot back, then he closed the front door.

Storybrooke's drive-in was only ten minutes away, and they arrived in time to get a prime spot in front of the huge screens and tune their radio into the station that was playing the movie. Gold got out and paid admission, since this was a weeknight, the rate was cheap, only $8 per car.

Rumple returned to the car and Belle said, "I'm going to run to the bathroom before it starts, and maybe pick up some snacks too."

On her way back to the car, Belle stopped at the concession stand and picked up a large popcorn with butter and a huge lemonade slushie, a new item being advertised on the billboard.

She arrived back just as the previews were on screen.

Rumple looked up as she got into the car. "Anything good, dearie?"

"I got our usual buttered popcorn and this new drink—a lemonade slushie," she said, and handed him the drink to set in his cup holder and put the popcorn inbetween them on the seat to share.

After fifteen minutes of previews, the first movie, A Streetcar Named Desire, starring Marlon Brando, began.

For the first forty minutes, the two were engrossed in the movie, and only occasionally did their fingers touch as they reached into the popcorn bag.

When the movie started to get more angsty, Belle inched over until she could lean against her husband. It was dark in the car and cozy. Her fingers twined with Rumple's as she grabbed more popcorn. She pulled his hand to her mouth as she crunched the salty buttery snack, and started sucking on his finger.

He turned to her and said, "Sweetheart . . . is the movie boring you? Because you keep doing that and we're going to have a streetcar named desire right here in Storybrooke."

"Oh no, I just . . ." she murmured, then she realized what she was doing and cried, "Oh . . . I thought . . . umm . . . never mind." She was glad it was dark, because she knew she was blushing redder than sunset. She released his hand.

He cupped the lemonade slushie and picked it up, tasting it just as Stanley bellowed for Stella. "Hmm . . . this is very good. Tart and sweet and satisfying." He held it out to her, it had two straws in it. "Want some, dearie?"

"Yes . . all of a sudden . . . it's hot in here . . ." Belle muttered and took a long pull on the opposite straw. "Mmm . . . this is good!"

Their eyes met over the cup lid . . . and suddenly all they cared about was staring at each other.

Sapphire blue met chocolate brown, and they smiled as they sipped the slushie, savoring the taste of sweet lemon on their tongues.

Their fingers twined about the cup and they swallowed in tandem.

Belle paused for a moment, and released the straw. "I think . . . I want more popcorn."

"Be my guest," her husband said, and popped a kernel into her mouth.

"Your turn," Belle said, and fed him some.

The rest of the movie passed in a blur, as they were intent upon each other.

By the time the second movie, Mildred Pierce, began, the popcorn was almost gone, Belle and Rumple's hands were covered with butter and each one had licked the other's fingers multiple times.

Belle tossed the empty popcorn bag onto the floor and moved over, putting her arm about Rumple and snuggling next to him. Luckily the Cadillac had a single front seat that wasn't separated by the console, so she could nestle close to him.

Rumple sighed joyfully as Belle put her head on his shoulder. He could smell the tantalizing fragrance of her shampoo and he turned his head and kissed her playfully. "Mmm . . . you taste better than the popcorn."

"Liar," she teased, kissing him back.

"I'm not lying," he protested. "I like kissing you more than I do eating popcorn." He began kissing her neck, moving his head up and down her sleek contours.

Belle felt her blood turn to fire. No one had ever made her ignite like this the way Rumple could . . . and did. A slow delicious heat spread through her and she found herself putting her hands under his pullover and running them teasingly across his ribs.

His breath caught and he felt desire spiral through him in a brilliant flash. He shifted his hip and pulled her closer, his mouth kissing and caressing in a familiar dance.

"Rumple!" Belle purred, rolling the R seductively.

"Belle," he replied, his voice sinfully rich, with the faint burr in it she loved so well.

His tongue glided into her mouth, tasting the tart buttery sweetness that was his beloved . . . unable to resist . . . he could feel her need through the bond, an irresistible siren call . . .

Belle couldn't get enough of her sexy beast, her hands gripped his shoulders and she kissed him like there was no tomorrow . . . for in that moment there was only _now_, and her world narrowed to him and her, and how he could coax her with his kisses from a slow burn to a bonfire in mere seconds . . .

"Gods . . ." he panted, his eyes feverish with passion. " . . .we've . . . got to stop . . . Belle . . ."

"Why?" she groaned. "It's too good . . ."

"I know, but . . . we're not at home," he sighed, and with a Herculean effort pulled back from her. " . . . and I don't want Bae to get a phone call about his parents getting arrested for indecent exposure or whatever."

"You're right . . .and I so wish you weren't," she sighed, and made herself move over to the passenger side again. She looked up at the screen . . . and saw the end credits rolling. "Rumple? I don't recall even watching the second movie."

He coughed. "Uh . . . we got . . . distracted . . ." He turned on the windshield wipers, for the car windows had gotten steamed up. Then he slid the windows down. A cool breeze swept in, dampening their wildfire ardor. "Back to reality, dearie. For now."

Belle let the breeze caress her face. It cooled her flushed cheeks and she was glad of it. _Dearest gods . . . we almost made love right here . . .in the drive in . . .like two teenagers necking in the backseat! If Rumple hadn't broken it off . . ._ She felt a hot flush crawl up the back of her neck as she recalled Bae's teasing comments . . . and how close he had come to being right.

"It was a beautiful night, Rumple," she said, smiling at him. "Now let's go home."

"And we can finish what we began, sweetheart," he gave her a seductive smirk that promised all kinds of wicked things when he got her behind closed doors in their bedroom.

She flashed him her own sultry smile in return. "I look forward to that, dearie!"

Rumple rolled up the windows and drove home as quickly as he could.

When they crept into the house, it was after ten PM. The TV was on in the den and Rumple headed there to turn it off.

He found Bae sitting on the couch, slumped over his laptop while the TV played the Harry Potter theme song. Rumple chuckled and shut off the TV with the remote. Major was sleeping on Bae's feet, and the dog woke as Rumple came and took the laptop from his son and set it on the coffee table.

"He fell asleep holding his computer?" Belle whispered.

"Maybe he was typing and watching at the same time?" Rumple speculated.

"He's a good kid, Rumple. A little mouthy sometimes, but he has a good heart." Belle smiled fondly at her stepson. "Should we wake him up?"

Rumple shook his head. "No. He'll be cross as a bear with a thorn in his tail. Let's leave him down here." He gently lay his son down on the couch, while Belle got a pillow and a blanket from the closet.

Bae whimpered. "Mmm . . . five more minutes, Papa . . ."

"Shh . . . go back to sleep, Bae. I'm just making you more comfortable, otherwise you'll get a crick in your neck, dearie," Rumple soothed, pulling Bae's sneakers off and waving a hand and swapping his clothes for his T-shirt and pajama bottoms.

Belle put a pillow beneath his head and tucked a blanket around him.

After that, Major jumped up and lay on the end of the couch, his big head resting on Bae's feet.

"Good night, boy," Rumple said, leaving a small light on. He rested a hand on his son's head for a minute, thinking of how sweet his son looked asleep just as he had when he was a baby. "Sweet dreams, Bae." Belle kissed his forehead. Rumple smiled, then limped up the stairs with Belle. With Bae safely asleep on the couch, he and Belle could indulge themselves . . .and finish what they'd started at the drive-in.


	4. Darkness Into Light

**4**

**Darkness Into Light**

Upstairs, Belle was having a bit of a dilemma.

She glanced over at her nightgown on the bed wondering if she should even bother wearing it. Then she pulled it on.

And their night at the drive-in couldn't have been more perfect. She still couldn't believe how close they did get to making love in the car, something they'd never done before. It just didn't feel like the right place to do so though other couples would probably have a different opinion.

The only downside was that no matter how passionately they made love, it would never bear fruit.

She sat down on the edge of the bed and burst into tears.

"Dammit...it was a perfect night...and I'm ruining it...RUINING IT!"

She pounded her legs with her fists, wishing she would just stop thinking about it but sooner or later something always reminded her of her failure as a woman. _Pull yourself together Belle! You still have the option to adopt and you and Rumple can give the child you choose the most loving home in all of Storybrooke!_

Rumple leaned a bit more heavily on his cane than was his wont as he came up the stairs to their bedroom. Despite the rather late hour, he was wide awake and looking forward to a long slow session of lovemaking with his wife. Where they could be assured of no interruptions by anyone, as well as comfort. He hated being made to feel awkward and he was by nature a private person, so making love in his Cadillac had been a mere fantasy, and like he had said to Bae, he was not a teenager to be ruled by hormones. Besides, waiting only heightend the moment and made it all the sweeter. And he also hoped to assuage Belle's fear that because of her condition, she was somehow less desirable. As she had said to him once when he became depressed about his limp, "Your leg is only one part of you. And sometimes the best teacups are chipped." That was as true for her as it was for him. He paused to rub some of the stiffness out of said leg before he turned the knob and entered the room.

When she heard the tapping of his cane on the floor, Belle was uneasy. Had he changed his mind?

"You ah...look tired, Rumple," she said nervously.

"No, I'm fine. It's just this bum leg of mine, it got stiff sitting in the car for so long," he answered, his eyes twinkling naughtily. "Among other things."

"I'm sorry about that...I forgot your leg acts up when..." she trailed off guiltily. "We did...ah get a bit carried away..."

He held up a finger. "Hey . . .no apologies . . .if I recall . . .I kissed you first." He walked over to the bed and sat down next to her.

"We're just lucky that son of ours didn't see...or anyone else for that matter. It's just that...we really haven't had much time for each other since..." She sighed. "This isn't what I wanted to happen when we got home...me ruining the mood with all my baggage."

He cupped her chin in his hand. "I want you to listen to me, okay? What's happened with you hasn't changed how I feel about you. I didn't marry you for an alliance, to have my children and heirs, like we did back in our old realm. I married you because I couldn't stand the thought of going another day without you beside me. I married you because I love YOU, and that shall not change, not ever, because you are my heart, my light . . .and like a certain lady said to me once . . .sometimes the best teacups are chipped."

"I'm more than chipped, Rumple...I'm broken..." she whispered. "And I hate feeling like this!"

His hand caressed her cheek. "And I was broken too, dearie. And in more ways than one. I was a monster, the beast of the fairytales, cursed into darkness . . . I had lost my heart and then you came and found it . . . and found the man I was and you fixed the broken places. And broken or not, you still had the courage to love a beast. Don't you see? Love isn't about perfect . . .love is about making imperfect people heroes in their own eyes . . ."

"You were never a monster...never!"

"Wasn't I? My own son feared me . . .but not as much as I feared myself. I could feel myself slipping away, bit by bit . . .and the shadows swallowing me whole . . .erasing the spinner and putting the Dark One in his place . . . but you were the flicker of light in my ocean of darkness, Belle. You called me back, made me fight against the darkness . . ."

"And you...you made me believe I could be so much more than a man's ornament and brood mare. I came to your castle, not knowing what to expect. You had a bit of a temper at times with me but that was the only darkness you allowed me to see and even then it was restrained. You gave me plenty of reasons to beat you with my broom or slam your nose in a book but you were reaching out and thankfully I was able to realize it..." she recalled. "Then after the curse took us all away...I was just a lonely reading teacher who thought love was like her books...everything had to be perfect that I forgot everything I learned from being with you. And sometimes I still find myself forgetting I don't NEED to be perfect for you...because I don't WANT you to be perfect for me."

He chuckled. "Well, you always were a most perceptive woman . . .though I probably deserved a beating more times than not back then." His fingers gently wiped the traces of tears from her cheeks. "I thought I was doomed to walk alone in darkness, but you showed me the way back home. Now you walk through your own darkness, Belle. But I can be your light this time. . .if you'll let me. You were always the brave one . . .now find your courage again . . .and just listen to your heart and I shall bring you home . . ." Then he kissed her, putting everything he felt into it, and the bond between them blazed anew.

She felt like a ship lost at sea until its crew saw the beam from the lighthouse tower, guiding it back to shore...to home. And that was the light she saw in her husband's eyes, and felt in his kiss.

As on their wedding night, she would let him lead the dance though this time she was not the inexperienced bride whose only knowledge of lovemaking came from books or listening to her friends' gossip though the latter sounded more like a pornographic magazine at times.

Her friends called her old-fashioned, called them old-fashioned but she didn't care. While her friends' lovers sometimes treated them like a piece of meat, her husband made her feel like a goddess.

And tonight was no different.

Rumple gently broke off his kiss, his eyes almost amber with the emotions she aroused in him. "Give me a minute," he muttered, and shrugged off his pullover. Then his hands went to unbutton his shirt beneath it.

She gently pushed them aside. "Let me do that."

"You wish to . . .unbutton the Dark One?" he teased. "Be careful, dearie . . ."

"At least you're not wearing all that leather." She began to undo the buttons. "Not that I minded you wearing it." she grinned. "And sometimes I think you wore it tighter just to tease me . . ."

"I might have . . ." he purred, quivering slightly as her hands worked their way down his shirt. "You certainly couldn't take your eyes off me when I wore it . . ."

"And so did some of those women you made deals with!" she huffed. "And of course you HAD to turn on the charm with them while I was looking..."

She jabbed her finger into his chest. "Trying to make me jealous...rather beastly of you! Those were the days when I wanted to slam more than your nose in a book!"

"But that's all it was, dearie, a facade . . .none of them ever loved me . . .or ever would . . ." He eyed her askance. "For who could ever love a beast?"

"Someone who knows he has love in his heart..." she whispered.

"And none of those other women ever could see that. Only you . . .because you looked with your heart, not with your eyes. And saw something there that wasn't there before." He said, capturing her hand and bringing it to his lips and kissing the tips of her fingers.

"I love you, Rumple...I always have..."

"And I love you . . .always and forever . . .out of darkness into light . . .and all things seen and unseen . . ."

"Why does...tonight feel so much like our wedding night again?"

He paused in his slow honeyed seduction. "Perhaps because, like then, we are rediscovering ourselves? Our love has grown . . . just like we have."

"And there are no more curses hanging over our heads..."

"No. We are free . . .to just be ourselves . . ." He sucked in a breath as her hand tickled him in a sensitive spot. "My wicked brilliant beloved!" Then he giggled, a sound rich with joy and love, deeper than the one he had perfected as the Dark One.

"Very..." She leaned forward and nibbled on his earlobe. "Now...did I hear you complain that I don't scratch you behind the ears..."

"Umm . . .. not now . . ." he drawled.

"You make me wicked, my beast but I wouldn't want it any other way..."

"Neither would I," he replied huskily, and kissed her neck leisurely.

"And you make me burn..." she murmured. "And I don't want anything to put me out...not now..."

He smiled. "Love's fire burns hotter than anything under the sun . . ." His hands moved to caress her shoulders. He could feel the tension in her body melting away as he touched her. "That's good, dearie . . .because I couldn't even if I wanted to . . . and I don't . . . "

"We've got all night..."

" . . .and all of our lives . . ." he growled gently, nibbling her collarbone delicately, with tantalizing little nips.

She found that little sensitive spot on the side of his neck and pressed her lips to it, leaving a small mark.

A smile came to her lips as she thought about how he would try to cover it up in the morning...

After all, they had to keep up appearances.

He turned his head slightly, and their eyes met. "Minx! You did that on purpose!"

"Oh and you didn't on our third date? Do you know how many shades of makeup I had to use to cover mine up? Over a dozen and none of them worked."

"The mark of the beast," he chuckled wolfishly. "I hope no one was talking about it."

"Well...they may have said what you just did...but I wore it proudly...and I would again..."

" . . .a badge honorably won . . . in love's first skirmish . . ." he quipped, resuming his love play, knowing instinctively what to do to make her feel wanted and adored.

During the curse she'd been on a few dates...all of them she wanted to forget, especially the one with Dr Whale that involved too much vodka and a desperate attempt to get her in bed and when all of them tried to be intimate with her, she always held back

"What are you saving it for ?" they always asked. All those years she never knew the answer but on the very same sofa where their son was now dozing she had her answer when Rumple kissed her and the spark was ignited.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, telling him without words what she needed him to do now."Sometimes I wish I did have magic..."

"You do, sweetheart," he crooned, causing his pants to vanish with a mere thought. "You have the magic of a loving heart . . .and that, dearie, is the greatest magic of all."

She swatted his bare backside. "You cheated!" Then she pinched his cheek for good measure.

"So sue me . . ." he yelped. They fell onto the bed.

"Oh I will..if you don't get this damned nightgown off.."

"Am I allowed to use magic, Lady Gold?" he queried, wriggling his fingers. "Or would you prefer I play the Scottish reaver and just rip it off?"

"Well .. you put it that way..." Since it was one she bought she wouldn't mind it getting ruined. "Rip at your leisure. I've always thought there was a bit of a Scot in you and one of these days my Rumple...you will be wearing a kilt. That is not a request," she added with a giggle.

He grinned naughtily. "Indeed, my bonnie lass . . . an' then ye can ask me what I've got under it, aye?" he deepened his brogue till it mimicked the Highlanders he'd heard on TV.

"I already know what you've got under it, my sexy beast..." She'd always loved his accent and hearing him speak with a true Scottish brogue only added more fuel to her fire."Now get this gown off me..."

"Aye, and soon ye'll be reapin' the reward o' it, love . . ." and then he set his hands on the bodice of her nightgown and tore it down the middle. "Well, they dinna make 'em like they used to . . . lucky for us . . ."

"That's better...now we can finish what we started..."

"And then some!" he agreed. Then he proceeded to make love to her with the infinite skill and grace of a master spinner, loving her without reservation, as he had on their wedding night . . .and once again he felt true love's magic awaken and weave through him, and he let himself be a conduit for it and fill them with its healing splendor.

Together they would pay its price but this time when all was said and done, they would gladly pay it over and over again. Only it didn't start out that way at first...

**Page~*~*~*~*~Break**

_A month later:_

"Oh gods!" Rumple groaned, leaning against the side of the commode as he struggled to recover from the bout of nausea that seemed to come from nowhere.

"Rumple...are you all right in there?" Belle asked worriedly. She'd already been in the bathroom half an hour earlier doing the very same thing.

Must have been those damned mussels we ate last night . . .he thought, as his stomach did flipflops. "Not really, dearie . . ." which was an understatement.

She entered the bathroom in time to see him vomiting again and felt nauseated herself.

She grabbed the trashcan and kneeled on the floor, vomiting into it. "W...What...oooooo..."

" . . . probably something we ate . . .at that damned restaurant . . .ought to sue them or something . . ." he moaned. "Need to make up an antidote . . . as soon as I can quit doing this!"

"I feel like I am literally throwing my insides up!"

"You and me both," he gritted out.

"Oh God...Bae...we need to make sure he's okay.."

"Yes . . . and you need to call the school . . . tell them you won't be in today . . ." Rumple gulped. "I'll check on him . . . in a bit . . ." He puked again.

"I..If...I can get off the...oooohhhh!"

When she was finished she lay her head on the cold floor. "Worse than the...damned hangovers we had after...our sixth date..."

They had been out to a new restaurant that had opened outside of Storybrooke and it had gotten rave reviews in the paper. Eager to try it, they'd all gone there last night, a little family dinner, and tried some mussels in a spicy sauce and Bae had eaten Firecracker Shrimp, made with Chinese chili peppers.

"Don't remind me," he hissed, and went and wet a wash cloth and handed it to her. He then dampened one for himself and used it.

"Ohhh that feels wonderful..." she said, rubbing the washcloth over her face and neck.

Rumple found the nausea was easing and said, "Okay . . .let me go check on our son . . . see if he's got anything wrong with him . . . be back in a few."

Grabbing his cane, he tottered across the room and down the hall to where Bae slept with Major.

Bae came out of his room and frowned when he saw his father's pale face.

"I heard you guys clear down here. What's wrong?"

" . . .I think something was off with those mussels last night. Your mom and I are throwing up our insides. How about you? I'm surprised you aren't after eating those Chinese bonfire peppers or whatever they were with that shrimp."

He smirked. "I've eaten things a lot more spicy than that and never puked."

"You must have a cast iron stomach then," Rumple snorted. "Would you mind . . .making us some tea? I'm not going into work today for obvious reasons."

"Okay...but don't puke on me!" he teased.

"You don't hurry up, smartass, and I will!" his father threatened lightly.

"I'm goin!" he cried and ran downstairs.

Rumple made his way slowly back to the bedroom.

"Jeeze, last night they were peeing like racehorses, today they're puking their guts out. What gives, Major?" Bae asked the dog.

Major whined, clearly as puzzled as his master. Then he sat down in front of the pantry and looked hopefully at Bae. That was where the biscuits were stored.

And Bae, unable to help himself teased them by singing the song for the overactive bladder commercial every time his father or mother made a mad dash for the bathroom.

"Okay, buddy here ya go!" He grabbed a biscuit out of the pantry and held it out for the dog to grab.

Major took it gently from him and swallowed it in one gulp. Then he went and picked up his empty food dish and showed it to the boy. _Breakfast_? his eyes implored.

"Coming right up!" Bae filled his food dish and washed out his water bowl. He grabbed a bottle of Evian out of the refrigerator and poured some of it into the bowl.

The shepherd did a happy dance while Bae got his food and water, his nails clicking on the tile.

"Let me get them some tea and we'll go check on 'em...okay?"

Major woofed softly and then went to eat while Bae put the kettle on and got chamomile tea out of the tea caddy. He also filled up glasses of ice water and put a small amount of sweetener in them.

This is worse than the time they were hung over, he thought.

Only that day his father asked for black coffee not tea.

Or he was . . . though that had been just before the curse broke, and he had found a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue in Gold's shop in a box and surreptitiously drank half of it, depressed and missing his friends who had died . . .and then said he wasn't feeling well and wanted to go home. He'd passed that off as a virus the next day and his father never knew about it.

When the tea was ready he poured it into their favorite cups and put it on a tray along with the glasses of water and carried it upstairs, a concerned Major at his heels.

Rumple and Belle were both in bed when he walked in, Belle having just hung up the phone with the school secretary.

"Oh thank you, honey," Belle said softly, taking her cup.

"You're welcome," her son replied. "Uh . . .do you think you'll be okay by yourselves? If not I could . . .stay home and take care of you," he offered hopefully. "I can make really good oatmeal. You guys need anything else...aspirin?"

"No . . .that will only make my stomach worse," Rumple shook his head.

"You have a potion I can try to make?"

He wasn't a magician like his father but he did pay attention when Rumple was working on potions. All you had to do was follow the instructions and choose the right ingredients. And Rumple had everything labeled in his potions cabinet.

"I do. You know where my potion journal is, right? In the lefthand drawer downstairs in my workstation in the basement," Rumple said. "Go down and follow the directions-carefully Bae, I don't want us blown to kingdom come because you didn't take the time to READ what I wrote-when it's done bring it back up here. And you can stay home . . . provided you weed the garden and pick the vegetables and clean up your room. It looks like a pigsty."

"Aww Papa," he whined, hating cleaning up his room. His room was what he called organized clutter.

"That's my offer, take it or leave it," Rumple said firmly. "Well?"

"I'll do it." He preferred being at home so he could make certain his parents were okay and the chores were just a small price to pay.

"All right. I'll call the school and tell them I need you home," he said. "So it'll be an excused absence. And I'm going to inspect your room later on . . . so no shoving things under the bed or in the closet," he said, wise to those tricks. "And if it's not done right. . . you'll do it over till it is."

"Are you gonna do the white glove test too?"

Belle chuckled. "Well, you did ask for it when you claimed you dusted the last time."

Rumple nodded. He had exacting standards for cleanliness, just like a military drill sergeant.

Bae rolled his eyes.

"Don't give me that, young man," Rumple scolded softly. "Do it right the first time and you won't need to do it a second time."

"Because my papa's OCD," his son muttered.

Belle was a bit too when it came to her books. Both of them made the mistake of putting them back in the wrong places and dealt with her wrath. It was mild but she made them redo her entire bookshelf until they remembered where every title belonged.

"Get, imp. The faster you make that potion, the quicker we'll feel better." Rumple urged. Then he sipped some water and lay back against the pillows.

Belle grabbed one of the ice chips out of her glass and started chewing on it.

"What are you doing that for?" her husband asked her.

"It'll keep me hydrated and sometimes I let it melt to help sooth my stomach. Try it."

He took an ice cube out of his own glass and let it dissolve, still feeling a bit queasy but his mouth was no longer dry.

Belle turned on her side and curled up beside him, barely able to keep her eyes open. She couldn't explain it but she found she was tired more often and so was he. The other day they both dozed off while they were reading. Then there was the constant need to use the bathroom and now they were both nauseated…. Their bond had grown stronger since that night they went to the drive-in and they shared each other's ailments, his leg problems being the only exception. She drifted off to sleep beside him and it wasn't long before he was asleep too.

Down in the basement Bae was hard at work on the potion his father asked him to make, grateful he'd overcome his dyslexia so that he could read the instructions and follow them to the letter. He smiled when he recalled the times he and Belle would be allowed in his father's workroom in the Dark Castle. Sometimes he would set his more important work aside and make up some silly concoctions for them to make together. One of them was a lotion that unfortunately turned Belle's hair purple for a day and another accidently turned Bae's skin into scales because he threw too much of the right ingredient in. The potion finished, Bae poured it into an empty bottle and went upstairs to find his parents asleep. He set the bottle on the nightstand and returned to his room to start cleaning it up knowing his father would inspect it as soon as he got up.

Rumple awoke first and jumped out of bed, needing to use the bathroom again and barely made it there in time. Maybe I better set up an appointment to have my prostate checked, he thought.

He had just finished up when Belle entered, needing to use the bathroom herself.

"You still queasy?" she asked him.

"No, you?"

"Not now. That potion works wonders." She kissed him. "We nearly slept half the day away and I'm famished."

He laughed. "So am I."

Bae was shocked when he walked into the kitchen and found his parents attacking the pantry and the refrigerator with a vengeance, making the most unusual concoctions to eat. They were doing that a lot lately too he'd observed and some of the foods they used to eat, they avoided like the plague.

"Papa….where's the meat on this?" Bae asked holding up a sandwich that had nothing else on it but ketchup…lots of it. "You already eat it or what?"

"No, that's how I'm going to eat it."

Bae grimaced. "Gross. Mama, are you putting buffalo sauce and ranch dressing on popcorn?"

"Yes. It's good."

Now he felt like _he_ was going to throw up.

**Page~*~*~*~~Break**

The next morning they packed up to spend the weekend at the cabin. Rumple wanted to take Bae out on the lake for some fishing and there was a new walking trail that was the perfect exercise for Major. As she was packing the first aid kit Belle noticed that they were low on several important items and would make a trip to the pharmacy to stock up. Bae and Rumple would go to the grocery store to stock up on the food. She was picking up some bandages in the wound care aisle when she overheard one of the waitresses from Granny's speaking to another woman. "Throwing up every morning…mood swings…you missed your period….eating a lot…peeing a lot…you really should go to the doctor instead of using one of these home pregnancy tests."

Belle dropped the basket she was holding. The symptoms the woman was describing were happening to her in the last month and Rumple too the major difference being he couldn't miss a period. But…but they said I couldn't have a baby! She poked her head around the corner to see if the two women left then grabbed a home pregnancy test kit off the shelf and got in line at the checkout counter.

She was hoping news of her condition hadn't spread around Storybrooke. The couple wanted it to stay in the family but when she saw Mr. Clark giving her sympathetic looks while he was ringing up the sale she wanted to scream and find the loudmouth at the doctor's office who violated patient confidentiality. Then she was going to have Rumple slap a lawsuit on them so huge it would take their great-grandchildren to pay off.


	5. Unexpected Surprise

**5**

**Unexpected Surprise**

Bae had just finished getting the bags out of the car for the trip to the cabin, which was where they usually went to get away from it all, as Belle joked, since Rumple didn't enjoy leaving Storybrooke all that much, when he looked up to see a familiar face, one that he had seen in passing at school, but since the curse broke hardly spoken to except to exchange polite hellos in the hallway between classes. "Hey, Andi."

"Hi, Bae," the girl, who was his age, with platinum blond hair with blue dyed tips and blue nails wearing jeans and a Queen concert T-shirt over a blue tank top and a silver leather jacket with the word Wraith written on it in blue metallic letters, greeted him. She had a backpack slung over her back and was leaning on the handles of her mountain bike. On her wrist was a chain bracelet with a scorpion on it, and in her ears were blue shimmering metallic butterflies. She was cute, in a deadly pixie sort of way.

"How come you're talking to me?" he blurted.

"Because Big Brother isn't watching," she said candidly, both a reference to her real brother, Marcus, and the book 1984, which they'd both read after she'd stolen it one day out of the paperback rack at the pharmacy. "Sorry I've been a ghost, but . . . my idiotic brother says maybe I shouldn't hang around you anymore, that it'll ruin my rep." She snorted. "Like it ain't already since everyone knows I used to be a Scorpion, same as you. He thinks if he reminds everybody that we used to be nobles back in Fairy Tale Land, people will jump to." She rolled her eyes. "Sometimes I think Mark was switched at birth with a baboon!"

Bae laughed. Andi, short for Andrea MacLeod back when the curse was active and she was just another gang member, also known as Windwraith, had actually been a duchess back in the Enchanted Forest. As had her only living relative, her elder brother Marcus. Back then she had been Lady Andrielle and her sort wouldn't have given Bae the time of day. Except the siblings had been caught up in an ancient feud with King George, who had their parents executed for plotting treason against him . . . which was a lie, but it served to get them out of the way. But before they were arrested, they sent their kids into hiding in the Enchanted Forest, and so they'd been affected by the curse as well.

"Could be. He still keeping you locked up in the basement?" he joked.

"Yeah, but he lets me out to keep up appearances," she returned.

"Like any lock could hold you, Wraith." Like him, she'd been a stellar thief way back when, and she could pick a lock like nobody's business.

"Magic one could," she said. "Anyhow, I came by to bring you your makeup assignments." She reached into the backpack and handed Bae a bunch of folders. "When I found out you were home sick I figured you didn't want to get behind. Is it true that jackass Devereaux accused you of cheating and tried to set you up?" Her dark green eyes flashed angrily.

"Uh, yeah. But my papa proved him wrong. Still like to punch his ass out though," Bae said, taking the folders. "But they wouldn't let me."

"I'd do it for you," Andi offered. She could too, she knew how to hit since her days as a gang member. "Jackass could use a good beat down, the little shit!" Then she grimaced and said, "Good thing Big Brother's not here, he'd read me the riot act about my mouth again and how ladies don't swear. Stupid double standard! And he forgets, nobody will ever think of me as a lady after being a street thief and climbing into second story windows and stealing jewelry and cracking safes."

Bae, who had his own rep to live down, just nodded. "He doesn't understand what it's like for us," he told her. "Nobody does . . .except you and me now. And while we're not like that anymore . . .it's part of us and we'll never forget it."

"Yeah. I know. Mark is just . . . being Mark. Gotta protect baby sister. Ha! I could probably take him down if I wanted." Andi snorted.

"I bet," Bae agreed. Wraith had always been tough as nails and a Marine sergeant. She'd had to be, as the only other female in the Scorpions besides Sally, known as Slick. "You . . . uh . . . wanna come inside for a drink?" he offered, recalling his manners.

"Will your folks mind?" she asked, suddenly shy.

"No. Why should they?" he said.

"Heard they were sick with some food poisoning. So maybe they don't want to have anybody over or something," Andi muttered, blushing. But she couldn't tell Bae the real reason . . .that she was shy about meeting Mr. Gold.

It wasn't that she had a crush on him . . .it was the fact that he was an attorney, and that was what she wanted to be . . .if she could ever get past her rep as a thief. And no one knew that. She wanted to be a lawyer so she could sue the ass off Albert Spencer, who was King George, for killing her parents, since that was the only legal resource she had here. She hated the smarmy DA and wished she could put a knife in his black heart. And in this town, the only ones who didn't fear Spencer were the mayor and Mr. Gold. And Andi didn't trust Regina since she had cast the curse.

She followed Bae into the Victorian, thinking how nice it was, she even liked the color. Her house, a ranch style, was a boring faded green color.

"Uh, you wanna Coke?" Bae offered, going to the fridge to get one.

"Sure. Are you going on a trip?" she asked, looking around in awe at the industrial sized kitchen.

"Yeah, up to the cabin."

"Wow! This is like Food Network over here!" she exclaimed.

Bae laughed. "Blame my papa. He likes to cook so . . ." he shrugged. Then he tossed her a Coke.

Andi snatched it easily from the air. "Thanks." She had just drunk some when Major came into the kitchen. "Oh! Is this your dog? He's beautiful! Can I pet him?"

Knowing Wraith's love of animals, Bae said, "Sure. This is Major."

Major wagged his tail and came up to smell Andi's hand. Then he sat down and offered a paw to her, like a proper gentleman.

Andi smiled and shook it, saying, "Nice to meet you too, Major. I love shepherds. They're so intelligent."

"And this one is cleverer than most," remarked Gold as he entered the kitchen as well. "Bae, who's your friend?"

Andi nearly swallowed her tongue. She buried her hand in Major's ruff and hoped she wasn't blushing like an idiot.

"Papa, this is Andi MacLeod. She . . . err . . . brought me my assignments," Bae said, a bit awkwardly.

"Andi's short for Andrielle," the girl blurted, turning around to face the attorney standing behind her with his cane. "Pleased to meet you, Mr. Gold."

"A pleasure," Rumple said, and held out a hand for her to take. His eyes widened slightly at the girl's hair and it was then he recalled that she was a former duchess back in their old world . . . and also a former gang member, if his memory served. "Your brother . . .is Marcus, correct? He's a computer programmer?"

"Uh, yes, that's right." Andi said. "My brother's a computer whiz."

"I had him over my shop a few times to fix mine. Viruses," Gold said. "You tell him I said hello, okay?"

"Sure, Mr. Gold. Uh . . .you look like you're busy . . .umm . . .maybe I should go?" Andi said, fearing she would say something stupid.

"No, you don't have to," Bae interjected. "Uh . . . you want to see the rest of the house? C'mon, I'll show you around." He grabbed Andi's hand and towed her upstairs.

By the time he had shown her all the upstairs and everything, Belle had come home from the pharmacy.

"Why didn't anyone tell me we were having company? Hello there," Belle said softly, approaching the young girl.

"Ummmm...hello, Mrs. Gold." Andi stammered.

"Mama, this is Andi MacLeod," Bae introduced her. "She's a friend from way back."

"Oh?" Belle grinned, sensing there was a bit more to this relationship than mere friendship though her son was trying to hide it.

Andi glared at him. "What Bae means, Mrs. Gold, is that we knew each other before the curse broke. We were . . . umm . . .Scorpions." She indicated the bracelet she wore. "But you probably already know that, right? I mean, the whole school does."

"I do but what you did while you were cursed was not your fault, honey, though some people in this town don't want to acknowledge that.."

"Because they're hypocrites," Gold said. "They forget . . .what they did while cursed was probably not the greatest either, yet they wish to push their own mistakes under the rug and point out others. But we don't judge people by their pasts here, Andi."

"Why don't we all sit down? We're not leaving yet and I'm sure you and Bae have some catching up to do," Belle suggested.

"Yeah, you don't have to go home right now, do you?" Bae asked. "Or did Mark give you some kind of curfew?"

"No. We already had that argument. I asked him if he ever had one when he was my age and he said no. So I said what's good for the gander's good for the goose, and I promised I wouldn't rob a bank or steal from kids and old ladies and he told me okay," she said with a grin.

They laughed. "Wonderful." Belle could barely contain her excitement. Her little boy it seemed was in love. He wasn't exactly a little boy but from the moment she started taking care of him, he was hers.

And she was glad that poor excuse for a woman who gave birth to him was out of their lives. All she did from what Rumple and Bae told her was make their lives miserable.

Perhaps running off had been the best thing she could have done for the two Gold men.

"Would you like some shortbread?" Gold came and offered a plate of them to Andi. "They're freshly baked this morning."

"I'd love one," Andi said and took a cookie. "Did you make them, Mrs. Gold?"

"Me? No! I can't cook...that talent is Rumple's." Belle admitted with a laugh."Ovens and I...well...we have a love/hate relationship and magical ones run away from me. Rumple and Bae could talk your ears off about my little kitchen fiascos."

The girl grinned. "Uh . . nothing beat the time Mark set a pot of water on fire." She looked at Rumple. "You can cook and you're an attorney? Wow! Mark can do TV dinners and take out. And I wouldn't mind learning but . . . who has the time to teach a kid anyhow?"

Belle winked at her spouse. Her matchmaking mind was already in high gear and if she had HER way, Andi would accompany them to the cabin. They had plenty of room.

"I've seen a shoo fly and a horse fly, but I ain't never seen a stove fly!" Bae teased. "Until the day one flew out the window of the castle when Mama was in the kitchen."

"Well, I may have upset it with my language and it never would have happened if a certain person..." She coughed. "your father...wasn't being such a jerk..."

"Now how many times am I going to have to apologize for that?" Gold teased.

"The rest of your life," Bae interjected.

"Ohhh I think a few more may appease me."

Andi giggled. "How did you get the stove back?"

"It didn't come back...we had to get another one." Belle sighed.

"And it was the last time I allowed Belle to cook in the castle," Rumple said. "And I think the kitchen thanked me," he smirked.

"Besides...you were better at it anyway. But I already knew that since it bragged about you all the time."

"Your kitchen talked?" Andi gaped at them. "That's so bitchin' cool!" A second later she realized what she'd said and went red.

Belle glanced over at her husband waiting for him to conjure the soap.

Gold cleared his throat. "Watch the mouth, dearie. Or else Bae can tell you what this tastes like." He gave a brief flourish, and a bar of Ivory appeared in his hand.

"Sorry, Mr. Gold," she blushed. Then she stared at Bae. "Um . . . did he really . . .?"

"That's how we've always dealt with bad language," Belle informed her.

"Yeah. And trust me, you DON'T want to go there," the boy grimaced.

Andi arched an eyebrow. "Well, Wildfire, you always did have a trashier mouth than me . . . even on my worst day."

"Yeah, right. At least I can only swear in one language. YOU know English and Italian!"

"The curse gave me that knowledge," Andi objected.

Belle smiled wickedly. Her husband spoke several languages as well but when he spoke them to her it wasn't to swear.

"And you sure used it that time Shifty Pete came and tried to steal the bankroll from our hideout," Bae reminded her gleefully.

"Well, he deserved it, the pig!" the girl returned spiritedly. "Besides, I seem to remember you called him several things that would have gotten you EATING that whole bar, Bae, so don't act so smug, mister!"

"Because he called you a ho!" Bae objected.

"Hmm..now this is something I think we may need to hear, isn't it, Rumple?"

"Yes. Is this Pete character still around?"

"No, Papa. He got killed in the shootout," Bae told him. "And you really don't want to hear this . . .it's nothing . . ."

"If you were defending the person you care about, it's not nothing," Belle pointed out. She hesitated to use the world 'love' because she felt they were both still at that stage where they were still too afraid to admit it was what they were feeling.

"She's right, Bae. You did save me." Andi said softly.

"Well, I wasn't gonna stand there and watch him hurt you!" Bae said. "He had you pinned against the wall, and you couldn't get to your knives. So I called him a couple of names and when he turned to see who it was, I punched him out. Lowlife scum! I shoulda cut it off!"

Belle couldn't have been more proud of her boy than she was at that moment. He was every inch his father's son, willing to walk through hell and back for the woman he loved.

"Well, I'm sure he wished you had after I stomped all over it," Andi said. "Even if he'd lived, he'd never have been able to have kids."

"Thank God!" Bae snorted. "It would have been like ogres breeding or something."

"Ummm...would you excuse me for a moment..." Belle mumbled.

She grabbed her purse and ran out of the room.

"Was it something I said?" Andi asked. _Damn, MacLeod, you're always shoving your foot in your mouth!_ she thought disparagingly.

Belle locked herself in the bathroom and opened the kit, holding the test strip in her hands.

_I'm deluding myself_, she thought bitterly. _All these strange symptoms I'm having are just my mind tricking my body into thinking I can have a baby when I can't! And it doesn't explain why Rumple is having them._

_Yes it does, Belle. You're bound together...heart, body, and soul. Your pain is his and his is yours. That's the strongest form of true love there is._

In the kitchen, Gold said calmly, "No, you see . . .my wife's a little sensitive right now about the subject of kids . . .because she just found out-"

"-she can't have any so that's why she's so emotional," Bae finished.

"Oh, no! I'm so sorry!" Andi said.

"It's okay, dearie. You couldn't have known. Just . . .don't tell anyone, okay? We don't want it getting around town." Rumple told her.

"My lips are sealed," she reassured him.

"Yeah, Andi's not a blabbermouth."

**Page~*~*~*~Break**

She wanted to just throw everything in the trash and forget about it. After all, hadn't she heard those women in the pharmacy say the tests weren't 100% accurate. Yet on the box, it boasted a 99% accuracy.

She could almost imagine what Rumple would be saying if he were with her now.

_What does your heart tell you?_

Her heart was screaming loudly that there was a chance. Miracles happened every day and doctors could be wrong.

And she knew Andi would probably feel terrible though it wasn't her fault. She didn't know.

She read over the instructions for the test and followed them, sealing the strip inside a plastic bag she kept in her purse for odds and ends and went back downstairs

"I didn't mean to rush out like that..."

"It's okay, Mama. When you gotta go, you gotta go," her son said cheekily.

She swatted at him. "Don't you dare start singing that commercial to us again!'

"Oh my God! He does that to _you _ too?" Andi groaned. "He used to sing the shampoo commercials and the L'Oreal commercial to me and I wanted to stuff a gag in his mouth and push him out a window."

"He's a chip off the old block with the teasing singing," Belle said frowning at his father.

Rumple contrived to look innocent. "I think you're misremembering, dearie. I never sang any shampoo commercials to you. Or ones about overactive bladders," he scowled at his son.

"No, but you did tease me about tripping in my long skirts, falling off ladders, and scaring kitchens."

"She's got you there, Papa," Bae smirked. Then he looked at Andi and sang the Pantene commercial.

"You know, Fire, one of these days I'm gonna belt you one right in the mouth . . . just because you need a good beatdown," she threatened.

"Play nice children..." Belle remonstrated.

"Yeah, you're not allowed to beat me . . .my mom says so," Bae informed her.

"Okay . . . then how about this?" she asked, and then she ticked him under the arm.

"NO!" he yelped, scooting away from her. "No tickling either, Wraith!"

"Scaredycat!"

"Sticks and stones!" he stuck his tongue out at her.

"Do you need to get a room?" inquired Belle archly.

"NO!" they both chorused.

"Now who do they sound like, Rumple?"

"A certain beast and his beautiful wife. Isn't it ironic?" Rumple said.

She rested her head on his shoulder.

"Papa, please! We have company!" Bae groaned. "You gotta forgive them. They're like turtledoves . . .or rabbits . . ."

"Oh we are not! Andi, would you like to come to the cabin with us this weekend if your brother gives you permission? We have plenty of room.." She elbowed Rumple in the ribs hoping he would play along with her.

"Uh . . . and I could give you a few cooking lessons if you'd like? It's no trouble." He gave her an arch look. _Playing matchmaker, are we, Belle?_ he thought. _But we're kind of young to have grandkids yet._

"Umm . . . if you're sure . . . I don't wanna mess up your plans . . ." Andi said uncertainly.

"You won't! You can stay with me while the boys fish...unless you know how."

"Nope. Never learned. I can throw a knife at thirty paces though."

"Yeah, she can poke your eye out," Bae remarked and hummed the theme to A Christmas Story.

"Well then, perfect...they can teach you how to fish too!"

Andi rolled her eyes. "Mr. Gold, you drop him on his head when he was a baby?"

"Uh . . . I might have slipped once . . ." Rumple joked.

"Rumple!" his wife scolded.

"That was a quip, dearie."

"That was worse than the skinning children for their pelts one!"

"Gross!" cried Andi.

"He enjoys shocking me."

"It keeps her on her toes," Rumple remarked. "And I love the surprised look in her eyes too."

"'Scuze me while I throw up," Bae coughed.

_This will be you two if I have anything to say about it_, Belle thought.

"Parents. They live to embarrass you," he hissed to his girlfriend.

"Children. They live to sass you and give you gray hairs," Rumple answered.

"Yes, our son has given me a few." Belle agreed.

"Yup. I see one right there," Bae pointed. "Better run and get Clairol."

"No, I think I'll keep it...as a badge of honor for putting up with you..." Belle teased.

"Yeah, you've got the patience of a saint," Andi laughed. "I'm surprised he hasn't driven you to drink."

"Not at all...half mad sometimes yes...like his father does but drink, no."

"See? I'm a good kid!"

"Uh huh. While you're sleeping!" she laughed. "The rest of the time you're a pain in the butt."

"Talking about yourself again?" Bae teased.

Andi swatted him on the back of the head.

"Oww!" he rubbed his head. "Papa, she hit me!"

"Well sometimes you boys need a good smack on the head..or the butt..." Belle reached behind her and smacked Rumple a good one.

"Hey! Hands off the merchandise, dearie!" he yelped. Then he winked at her.

"Just keeping you on your toes...dearie..."

Bae hid his face in his hands. "Somebody shoot me."

"Aww! I think it's cute," Andi said.

"You would. You're a girl."

"You wanna another smack, Fire?"

Bae shut up.

"Rumple, do you think her brother would let her spend the weekend with us?"

"Would you like me to ask, Andrielle?" Rumple queried.

"Um, no, I'd better. Before he thinks I'm in trouble and you're prosecuting me for breaking and entering or something," Andi said quickly.

She dug her cell out of her pocket. "Let me call him. He's probably taking a nap. He works nights."

"Hey, is that an iPhone 5?" Bae said. "I want one of those."

"Want? How about asking, Baelfire Gold?" Belle wagged a finger at him. "And earning it. As I recall you have chores to do here when we get back and an essay to finish."

"You took the words right out of my mouth, Belle." Rumple said. "You want something, dearie, you work for it."

Their similar views on child rearing was one of the things that brought them closer together in the Dark Castle.

"I could always steal Etienne's," Bae joked.

"NO!" his parents cried.

"Kidding!" he held up his hands. "Though he's so dense it'd be like picking fleas off a dog."

"Yeah, can you believe he asked me out?" Andi wrinkled her nose.

"No way! What'd you say?" Bae demanded.

"Why am I not surprised?" Belle asked bitterly. "Just like his father..."

"Uh . . . I said I was really sorry but it wasn't Take a Jerk to School Day so goodbye. Then he mentioned something about me being a you-know-what in heat and I kicked him. _Hard_."

"Good!" Rumple and Belle said together.

"That's it! I'm kicking the crap out of him!" Bae snapped.

"I am not carrying bail money in my purse, Baelfire..hotheads...the both of you!"

"I took care of him, Bae. So relax. He comes around anymore and I'll send him yelping back home with his tail between his legs like the yellow dog he is," Andi said. Then she rose to her feet and said. "Excuse me, I need to call Mark."

"You two ruin all my fun!" Bae pouted.

"Well, I think your father will agree with me on this one...right, Rumple?"

"Yes. No fighting, Bae. You get expelled, dearie, and I'LL kick your ass." Rumple warned.

"Okay, Papa. I'll be good," Bae sighed, knowing that wasn't an idle threat.

While Andi talked with her brother, Bae and Rumple loaded everything into the minivan they bought specifically for family vacations. The rest of the time Rumple drove his Cadillac and Belle drove her Focus. Bae picked up his mother's suitcase, groaning from the weight of it. "Jeeze, Papa! Did she pack her whole closet or what? We're only gonna be gone for the weekend, not a week?"

"You know your mother….always wants to be prepared for anything," Rumple chuckled and handed his son his own suitcase that was just as heavy. "And so do I."

Bae tossed in his suitcase then they started bringing out the groceries, making sure to leave room for Andi's luggage if she was given permission to go. He secretly hoped she was and though he was not ready to admit it openly, he did want them to be more than friends. His mother, bless her heart seemed to have taken notice and was going out of her way to bring the two of them closer just as he took every opportunity he could to bring her closer to his father. The day Rumple came back to the castle with her and introduced her as the caretaker he was a bit put off at first because she didn't look much older than him. "Don't think of me as that…think of me as a friend…." she'd said and from that day on they were rarely out of each other's sight. Bae grew to trust her and eventually she became the mother he never had…one that put his needs first just like his father did and the best way he could think of to repay them was to bring them together.

They were all so close to having their happily ever after until Cora and Regina's curse tore them apart. In the end true love won out and his parents were together again.

"We have wonderful news! Andi can go!" Belle announced, coming out of the house leading Major with Andi behind them.

"That's great, sweetheart. Her brother didn't put up a fuss?" Rumple asked her.

"He did ask to speak to one of us and I assured him he had nothing to worry about. I also told him Andi was going to be helping Bae with his homework assignments and that seemed to put his mind at ease a bit as well as your promise to give her cooking lessons, Rumple. He..ummm…made some references to her lack of culinary skills."

"At least she'll be a more cooperative student than someone I know."

Belle felt weak in the knees when her husband gave her that sexy smile of his, making her recall the result of said cooking lessons. Because they had to be in such close proximity to each other while he was giving them, eventually the lessons strayed away from food to other, more pleasant subjects. Fortunately, they managed not to set the kitchen on fire but the fire they created with their emotions could have burned down the Enchanted Forest.

Bae rolled his eyes again. "Really guys…get a room before I go blind!"

"Oh quit it!" Andi stomped on his foot. "I'm going to go home and get packed."

"We'll pick you up in….half an hour sound good?"

"That's fine Mr. Gold. Thank you!" she called over her shoulder as she got on her bike and rode back her house.

Major pulled on his leash and whimpered. "Okay, dearie, calm down….we'll go for your walk. Bae, will you be okay to finish packing up until we get back?"

"There's not much left, Papa. Just a few odds and ends. I'll bring the stuff from the freezer and refrigerator last and put them over here so we have room for Andi's stuff."

Rumple took the leash from Belle and they turned into the direction of the park. "Are you all right, sweetheart?" he asked Belle.

"I'm fine…why?"

"Andi's comment upset you earlier."

"I never can hide anything from you."

"Nor can I from you."

She thought it best not to mention what she'd overheard at the pharmacy or purchasing the pregnancy test until she saw the results. It would most likely be negative, she wasn't going to build her hopes up to have them shattered. Still, if it was impossible why were they feeling like their little miracle already happened? Was it fate's way of tormenting them with what they longed for and couldn't have? The physical symptoms they experienced were unpleasant yes, but it would be worth it, oh how it would be worth it if in eight months' time they could be holding their baby in their arms.

Major woofed a greeting at Pongo as Archie approached them. The town's resident psychiatrist had heard the rumors around town that Belle was supposedly infertile and was appalled by such a blatant disregard for patient confidentiality and violation of medical ethics. He was determined to find out who the guilty party was and see them punished as he was certain Mr. Gold would. The only contact he had with the couple was crossing paths while they were taking their dogs for a walk. During the curse the only times he saw Mr. Gold were when his rent was due.

"Hello, Dr. Hopper," Belle greeted warmly.

"Belle, Mr. Gold. Lovely day today, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is." Rumple still felt uncomfortable with the rest of the town's residents since most of them still saw him as the Dark One, the monster. It would take time for them to understand that he'd changed and it was all because of the beautiful woman at his side and his son.

Major barked impatiently. "All right, all right….you can go play!" Rumple unhooked the dog's leash from the collar so that he and Pongo could play. Archie also carried sticks with him for the dogs to fetch.

"Mr. Gold, I know we haven't had much of a chance to get to know each other but I would like to offer my services should you and Belle need them."

"We're not having any issues…"

"Then you aren't aware…"

"Aware of what?" Rumple asked angrily.

"Oh dear…well…ahh….there's been some rumors around town that Belle is…umm…unable to have children."

"WHAT?!"

"Rumple…" Belle placed her hand on his shoulder to try to soothe him. "It's all right…"

"No it is not! That information was supposed to be kept confidential!"

"I completely agree, Mr. Gold. It's a violation of medical ethics and of patient confidentiality, and I would like to see whoever is responsible punished."

"Oh they will be…when I haul their asses into court!" Rumple sneered. "People can say what they want about me but you do NOT say one word about my wife or my son without being prepared to pay a high price for it! Whom did you hear this information from?"

"I overhead the staff at my doctor's office discussing it when I went in for my yearly check-up. I was appalled. I know I should have come to you with this sooner."

"I wish you would have, Doctor Hopper. Now I understand why people look at me the way they do now…with pity…" Belle said sadly. Rumple pulled her into his arms.

"I am sorry. I know it's not much of a comfort…"

"Never mind….just tell me what you know and I'll handle it," Rumple said firmly as he stroked his wife's back and kissed her. They were always careful to avoid being overly affectionate with each other in public but at this moment he could care less. The only thing he cared about was her and her wellbeing.

They sat down at one of the picnic tables and Archie recounted the facts as he knew them, wanting to leave out some of the more unpleasant details but Rumple wouldn't have it. By the time the doctor was finished images of roasting people on a spit were flashing through his mind. He was used to people making fun of him, he'd dealt with it most of his life but Belle didn't deserve to be the subject of their ridicule when she'd done nothing to them.

"I wish they would stop calling you a monster," she sobbed. "They don't know you…not like I do. And my not being able to have children has NOTHING to do with our pasts! I've had problems with my body since before I met you!"

"Is that how you feel, Mr. Gold?"

He nodded. "We talked about it…the day she found out and we've discussed other….options but neither of us is ready for that yet."

"I'm assuming one of those options is magical?"

"Yes, but I won't let him do it because there's a price that comes with it. I won't let him get hurt even for me!"

"Whatever the price is sweetheart, I would pay it."

Archie was deeply touched by Rumplestiltskin's devotion to his young wife. It was a side of him no one in the town thought he had. He hoped the Fates would be kind to them and grant them the miracle they longed for.

They sat and talked for a bit longer until Rumple realized they were running late picking up Andi. They made their excuses to Dr. Hopper, thanked him for taking the time to speak to them and hurried home.

Bae was already in the van, anxious to get going.

Andi was waiting outside with Mark. Mark MacLeod was a slender boyishly handsome man in his mid-twenties, about twelve years older than his sister. He was dressed in a casual gray shirt that sported a computer programming logo on it and neatly pressed black slack and loafers. He had the same platinum hair as his sister's only his eyes were a deep blue instead of green.

"Thank you for giving your sister permission to stay with us, Mark. I give you my word she'll be safe with us." Rumple vowed. "And I don't go back on my word."

"No, I know you don't. Just…make sure she doesn't blow up your kitchen. I won't be able to afford to replace it." Mark joked. Andi glared at him.

"She can't be any worse than my wife." Rumple felt a swat on his arm and looked over at his wife.

"He's never going to let me live that down. But all joking aside, Mark we'll take care of Andi like she was one of our own."

Bae grabbed Andi's suitcase and carried it to the back of the van. "God, what is it with you girls that you have to pack everything but the kitchen sink!"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Andi retorted.

Mark laughed again. "Mr. Gold…you might want to take some nerve pills. My sister can drive you up a wall."

"I'm used to being driven up a wall…aren't I, Bae?"

"Guess so."

They made arrangements that Rumple would keep Andi with them until Monday morning and take her to school with Mark picking her up afterwards. The actual drive to the cabin took an hour. Rumple obtained it during the Dark Curse from one of his tenants who offered it up in exchange for past due rent on another property. It was in horrible shape and he'd considered having it bulldozed and selling the land but something that he couldn't explain kept telling him not to destroy it but turn it into a home away from home.

He added a second story to it for extra rooms in case he had guests, a Jacuzzi that worked wonders on his leg on the days when it ached so much he could barely move it, a kitchen that would rival any master chef's, a workroom that held copies of his books, potions and a second spinning wheel. The cabin was protected by a state of the art security system during the curse and after the curse he set up wards that would only allow those he chose to pass through.

Once Bae moved in with him, they spent every weekend at the cabin, fishing on the lake and swimming though sometimes he would simply sit on the dock and soak his feet while his son swam around him. After he started dating Belle, he took her out there with them and once she'd been bold enough to drag him into the water.

On cold nights they lay in front of the fireplace after Bae went to bed. It was on one of those nights that he finally found the courage to ask her to marry him.

"Wow!" Andi exclaimed. "This is like a little mansion!"

"Wait til you see the inside," Bae said.

They took out the groceries first, wanting to get them put away before some of the cold items got spoiled or melted. Andi felt a bit intimidated by the large kitchen until Belle reminded her that unlike the one she was used to, this one couldn't talk or move. That put the girl's mind at ease. In the living room there was a 52 inch plasma TV with a surround sound system with a brown leather sofa, love seat and recliner along with Queen Anne coffee and end tables.

"Bae, why don't you show Andi her room? It'll be the one across from yours," Rumple instructed.

"Okay. C'mon Andi!" The two teenagers picked up their suitcases and ran upstairs.

Major scratched at the patio door and yelped. He loved being able to run around outside without fear of being picked up by the dog catcher and he was always on alert for any wild animals or strangers. He wouldn't let anything attack his family.

"All right, go on…but don't be dropping any more dead animals on the porch like you did last weekend!" Rumple said sternly. The dog woofed and shook its head. "Oh, don't you try to deny it, dearie. You know you did it." He conjured a bone and set it outside beside the dog's food and water dishes. "Hopefully that will amuse you for a bit."

"Thank goodness we came up here early so we won't be tired," Belle said to him while they unpacked their own things in their bedroom. "And if I didn't have to go back to school I'd want to stay here for a while to get away from those idiots in town…"

"I will find out who did this, Belle," he said softly, taking her into his arms again.

"The cruelty of some people still astounds me. It was nice of Dr. Hopper to tell us."

"You weren't as surprised by it as I was, Belle. Why? You said people were looking at you with pity. When? Where?"

"It was at the pharmacy. It's all right. It's over and done with."

"Damned gossips! It wouldn't be so funny if the shoe was on the other foot!"

"I don't want to think about it anymore. Let's just have a nice, quiet weekend."

He chuckled. "I don't think it'll be too quiet with two teenagers in the house."

"Yes, but they have to go to bed sometime…" she purred.

He pressed a finger to her lips. "Hold that thought….for later."

"Until then…"

After breakfast they went out to the lake. Belle sat in the boat reading while her boys taught Andi to fish and they were jealous when she caught a rather large fish on her first try.

"You were helping her with magic," Bae accused his father with a laugh.

"I was not!"

"Now boys, no fighting or do I have to out you both in time out?" Belle gave them both a Look.

"Sorry," they said in unison.

"How the heck do you do that?" Andi asked Belle.

"Oh, the Look…every parent has it, honey. You will when you have children of your own."

Later that day Rumple began Andi's cooking lessons by teaching her how to cook their catch of the day out on the grill with his special seasoning added. She burned one of them when she forgot to take it off the grill in time and Bae teased her mercilessly over it until his father threatened to add on to his list of chores back home.

The evening was reserved for watching movies, Andi being given first pick as their guest. She grabbed Curse of the Black Pearl and loaded it into the BluRay player and sat on the sofa with Bae. Rumple and Belle lounged on the love seat.

"No making out either!" Bae teased his parents. He had his suspicions his parents hadn't heeded his warning at the drive-in the previous month and they were justified when he spotted the hickey on his father's neck the next morning.

"What do you think we are? Rabbits?" Rumple demanded.

"Umm…yeah!"

"Knock it off, Bae. They don't do that," Andi scolded.

"You don't live with them! I tell them no making out at the drive-in last month and he's got a hickey on his neck the next morning."

"Bae!" Rumple's face turned crimson. Belle giggled. "We are not having this discussion now be quiet and watch the movie."

They were halfway through the second movie when Andi tapped Bae on the shoulder and pointed over to the sofa where his parents had dozed off.

Bae gently shook them awake and suggested they go up to bed.

"Now….you two behave yourselves down here. No making out!" Rumple warned his son.

"What do you think we are, Papa? Rabbits?"

"Ha ha. I mean it, Bae. I gave her brother my word and I intend to keep it or you'll be grounded for a year."

"Well, you don't have to worry about us, Mr. Gold. We're just friends," Andi insisted. Bae's face fell.

"Yes…well….good night."

"Good night!"

"I don't know why I'm so tired lately," Belle said to her husband once they were alone in their bedroom. He crawled into bed. "And I was looking forward to us having some time to ourselves tonight."

"Tomorrow night," he promised with a kiss before he fell back to sleep.

Belle grabbed her purse off the night stand and went into the bathroom. _You're living on false hope,_ _Belle. Stop_ i_t_. But she couldn't. She'd spent most of the day thinking back over the last month. The symptoms started exactly one month after that night they went to the drive-in and he made love to her so passionately…so magically… Her hands trembling, she reached into her purse and pulled out the test strip.

No…_I've got to stop this…I'm just torturing myself and him. Just look at it. How will you know unless you look? You could be wrong. They could all be wrong. Believe, Belle. Believe in the strength of your love._

She took a deep breath and looked down…to see two pink lines on the strip!

"R…Rumple….RUMPLE!" she cried, tears streaming down her cheeks.

He jumped out of bed, nearly tripping over his slippers and ran into the bathroom to find Belle on the floor holding something in her hand and crying.

"Sweetheart…sweetheart…what is it? What's wrong?" he asked frantically, throwing his arms around her.

"Two lines Rumple…it has two lines!" she sobbed, handing him the test strip. "I…I heard two women talking in the pharmacy about it…and I've been having all the signs…but I was afraid to believe it. Tell me it's not wrong!" she pleaded.

Rumple looked down at the strip, stunned to silence. Was it possible?

"Tell me we're going to have a baby! You can find out, can't you…with your magic…?"

_Please by the gods…let it be true_, he prayed. If she was indeed pregnant, the baby would be magically inclined as he was and the child's light would manifest itself no matter how developed it was. As soon as his hand touched her belly it was surrounded by a bright white light. He looked up at her, his own eyes filled with tears. "Yes, sweetheart….we're having a baby!" he whispered and pulled her to her feet, spinning her around.

His leg ached like hell but he didn't give a damn. He didn't give a damn if it not working ever again was the price he had to pay. His precious wife would give him the most precious gift….a child of their own, a miracle.

"I love you…I love you so much…" Belle covered his face with kisses.

"What's going on?" Bae asked from the doorway. "Mama, Papa? Why are you crying? What's wrong?"

"Bae…" Rumple said through his tears. "You're going to be a big brother."

"Oh my God…oh my GOD! Are you sure? But they said you couldn't!"

"They were wrong," Belle murmured, caressing her belly, a sense of peace washing over her. "Because there's nothing stronger than true love."


	6. Something to Talk About

**6**

**Something To Talk About**

The family gathered in the living room to celebrate the blessed event the next afternoon. Bae brought out the champagne glasses and a bottle of his father's favorite wine.

Rumple shook his head and waved the bottle away. "No alcohol, Bae. We're expecting. We'll use the grape juice instead and if I catch you spiking it like I did at Henry Mills' birthday party I will ground you for a month."

"And you'll be doing another essay on why you do not serve alcohol to minors and expectant mothers," Belle added. "Twenty pages."

"Mama!"

Andi laughed. "You got the mayor's kid drunk?"

"Oh yes…and about a dozen other kids. Regina was fit to be tied and I got my backside handed to me for not locking up my liquor cabinet with magic instead of a standard lock that my son unfortunately knows how to pick!" Rumple glared at his son.

"Jeff Hatter spiked the punch at your wedding with moonshine and you didn't give him grief about it!" Bae retorted.

Rumple smirked. "Didn't have to, dearie. Emma kicking him out of their apartment for a week was enough. "And I suppose that was why you spiked the punch at Henry's party? To get even with his father for doing it at the wedding?"

"Yeah because I had to deal with you two being all over each other until you finally decided to come here and get it on. And you weren't even drunk on moonshine!"

Belle smiled at her husband over her glass of grape juice. After they spoke their vows it was even more difficult for them to restrain their desire for each other. They snuck off several times during the reception to indulge in some passionate kissing and caressing only to be caught by Bae before things got too heated and dragged back to their guests.

"But anyway, to my little brother…or sister and to Mama and Papa!" Bae raised his glass and clinked it against theirs.

"To Rumple and Belle and Baby Gold!" Andi said.

"To us," Rumple and Belle murmured. They took a sip and set their glasses down, their lips meeting in a tender kiss. Their lives couldn't more perfect.

Major jumped up on the love seat and rested his head in Belle's lap.

Belle scratched the pricked ears and said softly, "Soon you'll have a new little Gold to protect and play with."

Rumple's cell phone buzzed. He picked it up and answered it. "Hello...Moe? No, we're up at the cabin. What do you mean you're in jail? What did you do?"

Belle's mouth dropped open. "My . . . my father's in _jail_?"

Major whined and licked her hand.

"Well I hope you threw a few punches for Belle and me too. No, don't worry about it. I'll get the bail money out of the bank and come down. We have to talk to you anyway."

He handed the phone to Belle. "He got in a fight down at the Rabbit Hole after hearing loose tongues wagging about news that's no longer true."

"Hello, Papa. I cannot believe you got into a fight over something some idiot said . . .who was it, by the way? Because it's a breach of patient confidentiality and as soon as we find out who started those rumors . . . Rumple's going to sue their ass!"

"I don't know who it was who started the rumor, my girl but that damned Herman boy was laughing about it so I'm guessing that Boyd girl is behind it since she works in your doctor's office." Moe replied."And I hope he does take them to the cleaners. I won't have anyone talking about my daughter like that."

"Thanks . . . and you know Rumple, Papa. He won't let this stand. Nor will I. What she did . . . and I think you're right in fingering her, as she was there in the hallway when the doctor went out with chart . . .was totally uncalled for . . . and you know she's had it in for Rumple ever since that fiasco with the ball in the Enchanted Forest."

"He wasn't involved in that if I remember correctly."

"No, but she blamed him when things went wrong and her Prince Charming gave her a one night stand, refused to marry her, and left her pregnant. She said it was _his_ fault Thomas didn't marry her like he was supposed to! That Rumple bespelled him or some nonsense! When _she_ came to _him_ and asked him for help in attending the ball, and when he named a price, she said it was too high and she'd get help from somewhere else. And she did . . . but she never reckoned with the outcome."

"Well, she got what she paid for with that fairy godmother, eh? And I still don't see how my price was so high." Rumple defended. "I KNEW if she had a baby she'd make a terrible mother and had a good home ready for it when it was born."

"Ashley's a bimbo, Papa, who sold herself to go to the prom and sleep with the most popular guy at it," Bae sneered. "And then she whines about how she's in trouble and goes and blames everybody else for pimping herself on the corner."

"I feel sorry for her kid, not her," Andi said.

"I'm sorry this puts a dent in your weekend plans, sweetheart," Moe said softly.

"No, Papa. You're family and when you need something, we're there. Besides, I have some very good news to tell you!" Belle said excitedly.

"I'll be waiting and tell Rum I'll pay him back when I can."

Belle shook her head. "Papa, you know family doesn't owe family."

"He telling you he wants to pay me back? He can forget it. Ah well, let's get him out of there."

"Yeah, Papa! Can we come and watch?" asked Bae. "Andi and I wanna see you spring Grampa and watch Attorney Gold kick somebody's ass."

Rumple chuckled and shook his head. "All right...we might as well bring Major along too or he'll fuss."

Andi looked enraptured. "Wow! It'll be like Law and Order live."

Bae grinned. "Watch this," he said to Andi. "Maj, wanna go for a ride? Wanna go for a car ride? C'mon!" He patted his knee.

The dog leaped off the love seat and ran to the door and started whining and prancing around. The he looked back at Bae and barked loudly, his tail wagging like crazy.

"You had to get him stirred up, didn't you, Bae?' his father teased.

Major whimpered and pawed at the door, barking hysterically, as if to say, "Okay, I'm ready! Now let's go!" When that didn't get the desired results, he went and fetched Gold's keys hanging on the key ring on the wall and brought them to him, dropping them into his lap.

"All right, we're going!" Rumple told him."Impatient mutt!"

Major barked three times, and danced backwards on his hind legs.

"Whoa! Who taught him that?" Andi whistled.

"He was a police dog," Bae explained. "He came to us knowing all kinds of stuff."

"And we love him" Belle cooed, scratching the dog behind his ears.

"Yes, and he's smarter than some teenagers I know," Gold said, also petting the shepherd. "Right, boy?"

The dog whuffed and then grabbed Rumple's sleeve and tugged.

Major could barely sit still in the van and stuck his head out the window. He loved riding in cars and would often accompany Rumple or Belle somewhere so he could sit up front and ride shotgun. And they never had to worry about anyone coming near their vehicle with Major on duty once they parked the car.

Rumple pulled into drive up ATM in the bank's parking lot. He would have to withdraw the bail money from several of his accounts as they all had a limit on how much he could take out at one time.

"Holy crap...how many credit cards does your father have, Bae?"

"A lot," Bae said. "He's got at least five accounts . . . that I know of. And probably one or two I don't. He's gotta put all his money somewhere."

"I always hide some for a rainy day," Rumple said with a smirk.

"And it never rains, it pours," Belle added. She didn't really mind her husband's occasional frugality, since he never skimped when it counted.

"All right...I think that's all of it," he said, tucking the bills into his wallet.

"Mama, tell Grampa the cavalry's coming . . .yeehah!" Bae hollered.

Andi rolled her eyes. "How much sugar did you have, Bae?"

He shrugged. "I ate the whole box of chocolate frosted donuts, why?"

"You're cut off for the rest of the night!" Belle cried.

"Aww, c'mon!" Bae groaned. "It was only six!"

"Six! Good gods, where did you put them all?"

"Down my throat," he replied, smirking.

"Smartass!"

"Yup. He sure is that," Andi agreed.

"Hey! Look who's talking!" he snapped.

"Do we have to send you two to the corners?" Rumple laughed.

"Uh . . . no!" Bae said quickly.

"Good!"

Emma and Jefferson were outside when Rumple pulled in, Jeff smoking a cigarette and Emma trying to get away from the smoke.

Gold got out of the van, and Bae opened the back door so Major could accompany him. The dog sprang out and paced on his left, alert and watchful.

"You here to spring your father-in-law, Gold?" Emma asked.

"That's about right, dearie." The lawyer answered. "Major, heel!"

"That was one hell of a bar fight though...should've taken pictures," Jeff chuckled.

Emma glared at him. "Why do I put up with you?"

"You love me and I'm Henry's daddy?"

"And I'm a glutton for punishment and crazy," she sighed.

"We're all mad here, dearie," Rumple laughed. "Let's go inside." He looked back at the van. "Belle, Bae, Andi what are you waiting for-Christmas?"

"I'm coming Rumple...a bit queasy here!" Belle snapped.

"And heeeere they go with the mood swings..." Bae moaned.

Andi elbowed him in the ribs. "Show some respect, Fire."

It was the cigarette smoke that was making Belle nauseated. The teacher's lounge at the school was sometimes polluted with it despite the no smoking rule.

Rumple found it was bothering him also, making his eyes sting. "Jeff, mind putting that out? My wife's expecting."

"WHAT?" they asked in unison. "But ...we..that is...we heard..."

"And so has the whole damned town but it's not true. I am pregnant."

"Yeah, my mama's having a baby and my papa's gonna sue the pants offa whoever couldn't keep their pie hole shut," Bae said indignantly.

"Congratulations." Jeff threw the cigarette on the ground and crushed it under his shoe. Emma frowned.

"There is a place for those you know...litterbug!"

"Littering carries a $250-500 fine in the state of Maine," Andi recited.

Emma held out her hand. "Fork it over, Hatter!"

"Are you kidding me?"

"Nope...hand it over."

"Do I look like I have that much cash on me?"

Emma glanced at him sideways. "You never look it, but you do. How much you win last night at poker?"

"Ummm...fifty bucks," he lied.

"Wanna try again?" she demanded. "And if you lie again, I'll know it . . . and you can sleep in the garage."

"Ummm...two-fifty..."

"Give," she ordered.

He groaned, took the money out of his wallet and slapped it in her hand. "Women...always gotta take our money!" he grumbled.

"Quit grousing," she ordered. "I know you win more than that in a week . . .and heaven only knows what you do with it either."

"Probably hides it like Rumple," Belle said.

She reached into his coat pocket and took his wallet out.

Emma eyes bulged when she saw the stack of bills. "Hey Belle, wanna split? We'll go shopping."

"Any other time I would say yes but I just want to collect my father and go home."

"Yeah, and Mama'd just borrow Papa's Black Am Ex for that," Bae grinned.

"Well it doesn't have a limit and we do have to go shopping anyway," Belle said dreamily

"Hold that thought, dearie, and let's just get Moe out first," Rumple said.

Moe was waiting by the door of his cell glaring over at Sean Herman who looked in worse shape.

Emma unlocked the door and Belle threw her arms around him.

"I'm sorry Belle...that little bastard just..."

"It doesn't matter now Papa. He's wrong...they all are...Papa...I'm pregnant!" Belle said through her tears.

Moe was stunned. "How . . .?"

"If that ain't the biggest load of horse shit . . ." Sean began.

"If I were you I'd hold your tongue boy..unless you want to lose it..." Rumple threatened.

"It's a miracle, Papa. You're going to be a grandfather."

"That's so amazing!" Moe was grinning from ear to ear.

Sean rolled his eyes and made a crazy circle beside his head.

Bae saw and snapped, "Up yours, loser!" and gave him the finger.

Rumple flicked his wrist and Sean was thrown against the wall in his cell.

"Rumple!" Belle snapped.

Major laid back his ears and snarled warningly.

"Just doing a little pest control, dearie," Rumple said. "Easy, boy. I'd let you bite him but then you'd get food poisoning."

"Or indigestion!" Bae threw in.

"Rumple, it doesn't matter now...we're having our baby.."

"But it DOES matter that someone broke the law and told people about your condition prior to it," the attorney snapped. "And when I find out who it was . . .that one's going to be working for the rest of his or her life paying back what's owed."

"Then we'll take them to court. I don't want my child's father having to spend the next eight months in jail."

"All right," he sighed. Then he glared at Herman. "But that's the only reason you're still able to walk on two legs, got me?"

"You can't prove shit, old man!"

"Oh I think he can," Belle sneered.

"On the contrary, boy. I can gather evidence against you for slander into two seconds . . . and when I do a thorough investigation, I'll discover who it was who started this whole thing . . . because secrets don't remain secrets very long in Storybrooke, dearie."

"Let's go to Granny's Rum. We've got celebrating to do!" Moe crowed.

"Yeah and the prick can rot here," Bae sneered. "Have fun riding the short bus to Boston Pen, dipstick!"

All heads turned in their direction when they walked into the diner and the tension was so thick it could be cut with a knife.

"Assholes," Bae said under his breath earning Looks from his parents.

Andi shook her head. "You're gonna get it, Bae, if you don't bridle that tongue of yours," she whispered in his ear.

Ruby approached them with a stack of menus in her hands. "Evening Belle, Rum! Brought the whole family for dinner eh?"

"Yes...and Major's outside."

"I'll make sure I give him a nice soup bone, the big ham," Ruby laughed.

"He'll love that."

"Ruby, bring Rum and me some beers. Got celebrating to do!" Moe bragged.

"Ummm...I'll have juice instead. Grape if you have it."

"Why? You can have all the beer you want...she can't," Moe said, pointing at his daughter.

Ruby gaped at them. "Why can't she? Aside from the fact that she doesn't like beer?"

Belle grinned at her friend. "Because a miracle occurred, Ruby . .. and I'm pregnant!"

"You are...you ARE? Oh my God that is wonderful!"

"What..?"

"No way."

"Has to be one of his tricks..."

"But Ashley said..."

"Why would she want to bring another...?"

Bae clenched his fists ready to start swinging.

Rumple cleared his throat and the diner was silent again.

"Let me make ONE thing clear to you idiots. My wife IS pregnant and if I hear one more person making a disparaging remark against anyone in my family, you'd best start mortgaging your homes to pay off the lawsuits for slander I slap you with!"

Everyone froze.

"That's better. Now if you'll excuse me we do, as my father-in-law has said, have celebrating to do!'

A small woman with light brown hair in a pair of scrubs dropped her egg salad sandwich and began applauding. "Good for you, Mr. Gold." She stood up and walked over to them. "May I be the first to congratulate you, Belle, and ask you to come to my office and set up an appointment? I assure you that the individual responsible for breaking patient confidentiality will be fired by me personally, for I refuse to employ people who are gossips in MY office."

"I'm sorry...have we met?"

"I'm Dr. Jo Ferrara, I'm Dr. Stevens' partner," the gynecologist explained. "And no, you wouldn't have seen me before because you were his patient. But an OB patient sees both of us on a rotating schedule."

"Oh, then I'll be happy to set up an appointment with you." She shook the doctor's hand.

"I'm not really sure how far along I am...a month at least..."

"I think I would prefer that you oversee Belle's care for the rest of her pregnancy, Dr. Ferrara."

Dr. Jo smiled. "Just call my office and we'll schedule an appointment and do some tests. Oh, and one other thing," she turned to face the people in the diner. "For those of you who like to spread rumors instead of facts, here's a fact you might be interested in . . .Belle's condition is not always easy to diagnose and is reversible. The human body is designed to repair itself and quite often does . . . sometimes without medical intervention."

She turned back to Rumple. "I would be happy to, Mr. Gold."

"Would you like to sit at our table and we can discuss it?"

The gynecologist nodded. "Yes, if you'd like. I was just going to eat my sandwich," she waved her hand at the booth she'd been sitting at.

Ruby had several bussers move tables together to accomodate the group.

She brought them all drinks first, soda for the teens, grape juice for Rumple and Belle and a beer for Moe.

Dr. Jo shook hands with Bae and Moe and Andi, and apologized again to Belle for her employee. "I truly am sorry . . . this never should have happened . . . and the person who did this is going to be out the door with my boot up her ass, excuse my bluntness."

"I would have said worse, dearie."

"I just don't want it to happen to another woman like it did me..."

"It won't," the doctor said, her eyes flashing. "When we hire people, it's made clear from the beginning what's expected of them. But I will have a staff meeting again with my partner and we'll both stress the importance of confidentiality. . . and the penalties for breaking it. And this person will be held up as an example of what NOT to do. These people want to wag their tongues, I'll give them something to talk about, all right . . ." she growled. " . . .and serve the little idiot right!"

"She'll be facing a hefty lawsuit from me. This past month has been difficult for my wife because of her malice."

"Good. And I'll try and make everything more comfortable for you both." She pulled out a small appointment book and a pen from her pocket. "Belle, here are the days I'm available in the office, pick a day that's convenient for you. And bring the results of your home test with you to your first visit. We'll do our own series of blood tests but I'd like to see that one."

She handed Belle her calendar and the pen.

"Am I able to come to any of these appointments with her? I wasn't . .. ahhh . . . home when my wife had my boy and I don't really know what to expect..."

"Of course you can. In fact, I encourage all my patients to include their husbands in their visits if they wish to. It's important for you both to know what to expect . . . from your wife and your baby. It's an exciting time, but can also be stressful."

"There is something I am curious about, Doctor. Why is Rumple having the same symptoms I am?"

She cocked her head. "He's having sympathetic symptoms?"

"Well...ummm...I throw up in the morning like she does..." he admitted, embarrassed.

"He has cravings...tired all the time." Belle said.

"Pees like a racehorse," Bae chuckled.

"Bae!"

"What? You do!"

Jo smirked. "Boys! I have three at home . . .two of them are teenagers, so I know how that is. Don't feel bad." She steepled her hands on the table.

"Rumple, what you're experiencing is a phenomenon called couvade syndrome. It's common in fathers with first-time children. These symptoms most often include minor weight gain, altered hormone levels, morning nausea, and disturbed sleep patterns. In more extreme cases, symptoms can include labor pains, postpartum depression, and nosebleeds. And you can also have other symptoms as well, such as cravings, ect."

"Oh my God!" Bae cried and laughed.

"But...I'm already a father..."

"Did you have this same thing happen with your first wife?"

"No...I was off fighting the war while she was pregnant...didn't come home until after Bae was already born."

"Could it also be because he's magician Doctor?" Belle asked her.

"Ah . . . then that's why you might be having symptoms now, because this is your first time experiencing pregnancy with your wife." She said. Then she paused. "It could . . .are you linked, Rumple? Like with a magical empathic bond?"

"Yes."

"Ah . . . then there you have it. A bond like that will always have resonance with a partner . . .it's something that comes as a price of the bond itself. I know because I also am a mage-a Healer magician . . .and am bonded to my husband."

"And he went through this?"

"Four times, dear. Though sometimes the symptoms aren't the same each time. It depends on the pregnancy."

Bae was still laughing. Rumple swatted at him. "Quit it...and you'll be tasting Ivory when we get home over your mouth when we came in here."

"No . . .I'll make a deal with you," Bae bargained.

"Oh?"

"Uh . . .terms to be discussed later, sir?" he looked at his parent pleadingly.

"Better be good, Bae."

"Rum, you sure you don't want a beer?" Moe asked.

"No...I'm fine."

"This is bizarre...man having woman's symptoms," Moe grumbled. "Sounds like hell."

"Actually it's rather like justice," Jo put in.

"Because for once a man knows exactly what we go through when we're pregnant."

"I think it's gonna be funny."

"Bae!" his father growled.

"Papa, you're gonna be like a chick!"

"You're pushing it Gold," Andi cautioned.

The gynecologist chuckled. "You might not be laughing so much, Bae, once you realize you'll have TWO hormonal people to deal with on a daily basis."

"What! No way!"

"Oh yes. If you want specifics, ask my son Joe . . . he's a grade below you. He'll tell you all about how Mom and Dad drove him insane when I was pregnant with his sister."

Andi smirked. "Sucks to be you."

"Can you . . . err . .. turn it off?" asked Bae.

"Nope. A lifebond is forever . . .and the price of it must always be paid."

"Oh man!"

"But it's not all bad," the doctor said. "It's a beautiful miracle . . .if it weren't, women would never do it a second time and the human race would have died out."

"I'll pay whatever price it takes for us to have our baby," Rumple said softly, raising Belle's hand to his lips.

Bae rolled his eyes."Rabbits!"

Rumple eyed him sternly. "Behave! Or no deal!"

Belle giggled.

'Is there anything else we should be aware of, Doctor...?" asked Rumple.

"I'm as new at this as Rumple...and I'm nervous about what kind of mother I'll be to a baby..."

"I can give you pamphlets and our pregnancy packet when you come for your visit and we can talk more then. And that's a common feeling with first time mothers." Jo reassured her. "Chances are, if you're worried about how you'll be as a mom, then you'll be a good one."

"My first wife could've taken lessons," Rumple said bitterly.

"Divorced?" Jo asked sympathetically.

"Deserted."

"She ran off with the first guy who crooked a finger at her," Bae commented angrily. "She was a damn-"

"Bae!" Rumple snapped.

"Well . . . she was," he sighed.

"That's too bad . . . for her. It seems she missed out on a good family," the gynecologist said. "But her loss is your gain, right?"

Rumple smiled at his wife.

"They've grown on me," Belle murmured.

"The good ones always do," Jo laughed. "And the bond deepens with age."

Moe shook his head. "Thank the gods I didn't have to go through this with your mum, Belle. Wouldn't be able to handle all that nonsense."

"You mean the symptoms, Papa.?"

"Yeah."

"Not every man could. But then . . .not every man can handle being a conduit for magical energy either," Jo mused. "Which is why the gods in their wisdom give magic's gift only to those who can."

"You all ready to order?" Ruby asked.

"Yes, Ruby."

"Your usual Belle...a hamburger?"

"Ummmmm...no...I ah...don't know if I should..."

"How come?"

"Will it be healthy..I mean I'm expecting and I do have to change my diet, don't I?"

"Yes, but a small amount of red meat won't harm you," Jo said. "Just don't eat hamburgers every night."

"Now what about Rumple? Since's h's experiencing the same symptoms I am, will he have to go on a diet too?"

"Well, not exactly. Though there are certain foods he might need to avoid too, I'll go through that with you at your appointment. It's different with them . . .they're not actually carrying the baby, so their health requirements aren't the same."

"Oh good...I've written down the time and date we want for our appointment."

"Good." She took the calendar back and said, "I'll see you on Tuesday then." She picked up her sandwich. "Sorry, I'd wait, but I'm starving. I've been on call since yesterday and I had a delivery this morning and I think I drank a cup of coffee and ate a piece of a bagel before I was called in."

"Sounds like you hardly get any sleep," Rumple said sympathetically."Or a chance to eat either."

"Not when I'm on call, usually. Babies are born any time. And you learn to sleep in snatches, like a cat . . .and I eat sporadically. I usually try and pack a protein bar in my purse, but today I forgot. You learn to live with it though."

"I hardly got any when Bae was a wee one," Rumple quipped.

"Oh come on Papa, I wasn't that bad!"

"You could be when you wanted to."

"Colic? My third was like that." Jo asked.

"Colic...and hyperactive."

"Ai-yi-yi!" she groaned. "One is bad enough, but both . . . you must have gone through pots of chamomile like crazy."

"Had I not still been a poor spinner I would have needed to invest in it!"

"I'll bet. Luckily chamomile was easy to obtain where we lived," Jo said. "My daughter lived off of it, her first three months, along with goat's milk since mine dried up, and prune juice."

"I got him later on but even then he was still a handful," Belle said with a laugh.

"You guys," Bae shook his head.

Jo chuckled. "You sound like my son Drew. He's always saying how embarrassing we are because my husband, who's a math teacher, and I are always holding hands and hugging each other in public. He said once that we made it seem like we were desperate and shouldn't we be sick of each other by now since we were an old married couple?"

"They're at each other like rabbits."

"My son called us lemmings . . .because we had to get some loving in before we threw ourselves off a cliff together," the doctor said with a wicked grin.

Belle also smiled. Her husband did owe her some of that and she was going to collect...once they got back to the cabin.

"But when you're expecting isn't that a bit...dangerous?" asked Belle.

"Not in the beginning, dear. Later on, you won't want to, believe me, but your first and beginning of your second trimesters is all right."

"Well, keep it down and lock the door, Papa. We don't wanna hear that!"

Andi laughed.

"Sounds like an interesting conversation," Ruby was saying when she delivered their orders.

"You have no idea," Belle said and went to pick up her hamburger and eat it.

Rumple felt nauseated when the scent of Spicy Asian sauce filled his nostrils as he looked at his burger.

"Excuse me..." he gulped.

Belle turned a shade of green usually reserved for broccoli and said, "Umm . . . me too . . .sorry . . ." and bolted after her husband.

"They didn't even eat anything!" Moe gasped.

"You don't have to when you're pregnant," Jo explained. "Sometimes the smell alone will get you. It was like that with me. I couldn't eat eggs or bacon with my second son, and broccoli and potatoes with my daughter. Made me sick as a dog."

"But hamburgers are her favorite and Papa likes Spicy Asian sauce."

Jo spread her hands. "It's hormones, kid. Sometimes stuff we love we can't tolerate when we're pregnant, and other things we seriously hated we want so bad it makes us drool. It's an odd thing."

The couple returned to their table minutes later still pale.

By then Ruby had come by and Jo had her take Rumple and Belle's food away, replacing it with some buttered toast, fruit, and celery sticks with peanut butter. As well as a pot of chamomile tea. "I figured this would be a bit easier on your stomachs," Jo said.

"Always is..." Rumple agreed.

"This was what I lived on, pretty much, that and oatmeal with bananas and cinnamon, when I had my first . . ."

Bae made a face.

"Your mum was like that, Belle, drove the chef mad."

"But usually that'll pass after three months . . . and then you have to watch for overeating."

"Looks like we'll be taking Major for lots of walks then."

"That's good exercise, or walking up and down stairs a few times . . .although with your leg, Rumple, walking the dog is fine. Or chasing after kids, like my husband and I did. One of ours was always touching something or climbing on something."

"Well, this one should know better," Rumple said, gesturing towards his son.

"Papa! You're so embarrassing!"

"Join the club," Jo said and giggled. Just then her phone buzzed. She picked it up. "On my way. Be there in two." She hung up. "I have to be going. The hospital called, I have a patient in labor and she's dilated. It was a pleasure meeting you."

"Until Tuesday and thank you, Doctor," Belle said softly.

"You're quite welcome." Then she vanished in a puff of blue smoke.

After dinner they decided to take Moe back to the cabin with them since he'd had too many beers and was feeling sick.

"I told you to slow down, Papa," Belle scolded him.

"Not every day my girl tells me I'm going to be a grandpa either."

"Still you're going to be hung over in the morning."

"Drink water. And black coffee," advised Bae.

"Always do...I'm going to bed." He hugged his daughter.

Belle hugged him back. "Night, Papa. And the bathroom's down the hall if you need it."

"I'm gonna hit the sack too, Papa...and I already left Major out so he should be good till morning."

"Hold it, Baelfire," Rumple beckoned to him. "You said you had terms for me? Or shall I just get out the soap?"

"I can't wait to hear this..." Andi said gleefully.

"Me too," added Belle.

"Uh . . .okay . . ." Bae was thinking frantically. "I'll . . .err . . .clean the bathrooms and wash the floor here before we leave if you don't make me eat soap. Deal?"

"You won't do it..." Andi taunted.

"I will . . .I swear I will . . ." Bae promised. He'd rather do that then get punished like a little kid in front of the girl he liked.

Belle could see that Bae was still trying to impress Andi though she wasn't giving him much encouragement. She felt it was time for them to have a woman to woman talk.

Meanwhile she was going to insist that her husband have a man to man talk with his son abut going after what he wanted.

Rumple considered. Finally he said, "All right. Deal struck. But I'm waking you up early so you can get started."

"Not the crack of dawn!"

Rumple crossed his arms over his chest. "Was that a protest?" He gestured and a bar of soap appeared in his hand. "You can always change your mind, dearie, it's your choice."

"Okay...I'll get up!"

"That's better because not only will you get soap for not minding your father, I always have essay topics for you."

"No . . .I'll set my alarm," her son said.

Belle ruffled his hair and kissed his cheek. "Get some sleep."

Bae hugged her. "Okay . . .night!" He bounded up the stairs like a gazelle.

Andi yawned. "I'm gonna crash too.

"Good night, honey."

Now it was just the two of them.

"It's still early...everyone's asleep..."

Rumple smiled. "Then why don't we go out on the deck and see the stars?"

"You read my mind, Rumplestiltskin."

"Great minds think alike."

She grabbed a blanket and pillows out of the downstairs closet and handed them to him.

Then she went to the kitchen and grabbed the bottle of grape juice, their glasses and some ice.

Major whined when they shut the sliding glass door behind them, keeping him inside.

"I've always loved the view of the sky from up here," she said softly, sitting down on the blanket beside him.

"Before we saw each other again...I would sometimes look out at the stars from my bedroom window in that dingy apartment and sometimes I made wishes because I was tired of feeling like something was missing in my life. I just never realized you were right there...all the time though I never saw you. You always sent Dove to collect my rent."

"That's because even when I was cursed I was no good as a lord of anything."

"Oh I think some of the others were worse."

"Maybe. I was alone and conditioned to be lonely, thanks to Regina. It wasn't until Bae came into my shop to steal from me that I started to recall who I was."

"Not when Emma came to town?"

"I figured out how the curse could be broken . . .by having a child of true love do so, but even I wasn't sure when or exactly how she would break it. When she arrived, the changes started . . .and the fog began to lift slightly . . .and the longer she was here, the more it did so, but seeing Bae in my shop woke me up even further . . .because cursed or not, a part of me always recognized the ones I'd loved."

"And my slapping you didn't leave a good impression. Of course I did that before you told me you needed my help with Bae but I was angry that you wouldn't pay to have my a/c unit fixed." His wife recalled."What was it you said...'open a window, dearie...saves electricity."

Rumple coughed. "Uh . . . now you see where our son gets it from."

"Oh yes, royal smartass. Then you shocked the hell out of me the next day but not only getting it fixed but sending two dozen roses to the school. I thought maybe I knocked a piece of your brain out...and so did everyone else."

"I wasn't sure myself, all I knew was that I had to see you again . . . and I was sorry I'd behaved like an idiot. Because I knew, you see, that we'd met before .. .once upon a dream and a lifetime ago."

"Then we both had so much to do with Bae that we didn't have time for each other..."

"Yes, and it wasn't until after the curse broke that I remembered everything . . .and yet wasn't sure if you still wanted to be with me."

"I thought about asking you out a dozen times but...that wasn't how things were done back home. Men did the asking...I knew we couldn't pick up where we left off...too much had changed but I was thinking we could start over..."

"And I was sure you only saw me as a monster and forgot about the man beneath the golden scales."

"I never forgot about the man, I just remembered how guarded he always was and decided I would wait for you...for as long as it took."

"And it took Bae mentioning something about Gaston asking you out that made me call and ask you on a date. Because I was terrified that if I didn't do something, he would."

"Thankfully he didn't know I'd turned Gaston down."

"The gods work in mysterious ways." Rumple said, and put a hand on her still flat tummy. "We're going to have to come up with names for the baby soon."

"Well names is your area of expertise...what do you think?"

"I don't want anything too . . .flashy. I mean the kid has to live with it," he chuckled. "And look what I got stuck with."

"I was thinking of Robert if it's a boy since that was your cursed name."

"Yes, and it's a good strong name. And we could call him Bobby or Rob for short." Rumple agreed. "And I've always liked the name Adriana for a girl."

"It's beautiful. I would like Isabella for her middle name...after my mother."

"Yes. And I would give Bobby my grandfather's name . . .Pearce."

"Robert Pearce and Adriana Isabella it is then."

"Now if only the next eight months will prove as easy to resolve," he chuckled. "But then, if Dr. Ferrara's husband could get through it then so can I."

"You'll be the darling of every woman in this town...you know that."

"Just remember though...you're mine."

"Always, dearie. And no one else's. Milah took my body but she never held my heart . . .and Cora wanted my power, but never wanted me. You were the only one who ever wanted the whole man."

"And I always will," she whispered. She laid her head on his shoulder.

And he put an arm about her and said, "With this miracle inside of you, I am truly blessed."

"As was I the day I met you..."

"I thought for sure you would run screaming from the castle in a week."

"O ye of little faith..." she teased.

"I should have known better when you didn't run after Bae put that frog in your pocket. And you picked it up and said "Oh a spotted tree frog" instead of screeching the stones down around my ears."

"That wasn't the first place he tried to put it...but I didn't tell you because I knew you'd be furious."

"You're right, I would have been. As it was the only reason he could sit down for supper was because you didn't seem traumatized by his little prank."

"No, he was like some of the children in our village...just trying to test my mettle."

"He was . . .even though he knew better. I taught him how to treat a lady."

Hopefully this little one won't be so devious..."

"We can hope, dearie," Rumple laughed.

He yawned. "Shall we go to bed, sweetheart? You need your sleep . . . and so do I if I'm going to get our son out of bed to do his chores."

"Lead the way darling..."

They fell asleep in each other's arms, the perfect end to the perfect day.

**A/N: Hope you all liked this chapter. The doctor in this story is based upon my real sister, who's an OBGYN. And as requested, here's some more Andi and also someone wanted to know about Emma and who Henry's dad was . . .and now you know! Thanks for all the new readers and reviews, ect! We greatly appreciate them!**


	7. Wicked Lyrics and Butterfly Kisses

7

**Wicked Lyrics and Butterfly Kisses**

Rumple dropped Belle and the kids off at school at 7:30 Monday morning. Bae looked around for Etienne but couldn't see him. He knew the bastard was around somewhere despite being suspended for a week. And probably starting trouble as usual.

"I'll see you later on, Bae." Andi said while they stood at her locker.

"You have lunch at 12?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"Okay. See you then." He turned and jogged into his homeroom just as the bell rang.

Later that morning he had gym class outside and they were playing flag football. After one of the other boys tackled him to the ground, he accidently pulled Bae's sweatpants down.

"Oops! Sorry, Bae."

"It's okay, Carter." Bae quickly pulled them up.

They heard laughter from the fence. Etienne was leaning against it, a smirk on his handsome face.

"Look at THAT hairy ass!"

Bae jumped to his feet, flushing.

Etienne called, "Hey Gold, is it true your mama's in the family way? Or is that another lie daddy told so people think he can get it up? I mean, he's so old the plumbing probably don't work no more! And your mama married him outta pity and to get her hands on his money. 'Cause we all know how that goes. Gold digger! Gold digger! Marries the old geezer!"

"You dick!"

"I know you are, but what am I?" the other boy mocked.

"Ohhhh...try this on for size...prick... see how you like it . . ."

Bae began to sing in a high mocking voice, the tune to the Gaston song sung in Beauty and the Beast . . . with several changes he improvised on the fly.

"No one has hair on his ass like Gaston

Passes bad gas like Gaston

Is crass like Gaston

As a specimen he's rather horrifying

You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley

And they'll tell you what team

They'd prefer he's not on.

No one matches wits like Gaston

Scratches his armpit and spits like Gaston

Thinks he's hot shit like Gaston

Imagines he's a perfect paragon!

Bu-u-ut . . .

No-o one has small balls like Gaston

Walks into walls like Gaston

When he's drunk nobody pukes like Gaston

All the guys watch and shake their heads

F-o-o-r

No-o-body leaves a trail of brokenhearted chicks like Gaston

Has a needledick like Gaston

Gets a girl in permanent fix like Gaston

All their papas want to de-cap-i-tate him!

Three cheers for Gaston! NOT!

No one crows like Gaston

visits cheap hos like Gaston

cheats, lies, and backstabs other guys like Gaston

Not a bit of him's anything to write home to your granny

And every last inch of him's covered with crabs!

When he was a lad he asked all the time when he was gonna grow a big one

And he ate four dozen pickles to help it grow large .

And now as a man he eats five dozen pickles

But it's hardly the size of a nickel!

Aww what a shame! Poor Gaston!

Watch out girls, he's the man your mama warned you about! Scummy, devious, evil, treacherous guy . . .run away and hi-ide from Gaston!

My what a guy that Gaston!"

The other boys howled with laughter.

Etienne looked like he wanted to jump the fence and kill Bae.

Several of the other boys started singing the song.

"Mr. Gold! Mr. Devereaux!"

_Shit!_ Bae thought, and looked over at his teacher. "Yeah, Mr. Connors?"

"Hale's office..NOW!"

"I didn't do nothing!" protested Etienne. He took off running and since he was on the other side of the fence, no one could stop him.

Bae sighed and headed into the building. Great! Just great!

As he passed some of the boys, they were whistling the tune and singing snatches of his song.

He grinned. Even though he was in trouble, it was worth it if that got around the school.

Mr. Hale was shaking his head as he sat across from Bae. "I don't know what to say, Baelfire. You know I am going to have to call your parents in here again."

"Aww, no, please . . ." Bae begged. "Devereaux started it."

"It doesn't matter. You continued it and now you have the whole school singing that filthy song."

He called out to his receptionist to have Belle paged over the intercom and put in a call to Rumple at his shop. "Mr. Devereaux will be dealt with but you, young man, are in serious trouble now."

Yeah and you ain't kidding, Bae thought, but a part of him was rejoicing at sticking it to that louse, even as he shivered imagining his parents' wrath.

Belle was seeing red during the walk down to Mr. Hale's office but she didn't know who she was more furious with...her son or that boy who said such awful things about her and her husband.

Students were whispering in the hallway and giggling.

She turned around, her blue eyes blazing with anger, daring one of them to make a cutting remark about anyone in her family.

They shrank back in fear and hurried on their way.

Belle reached the office and the secretary waved her inside. "That boy of yours-always in trouble!"

"Stuff it!"

"Well, I never!" she huffed.

"Yeah, I don't think you have!" Belle shot back

She was not in the mood to deal with Miss Iron Drawers today or any other day.

"Come on in, Belle," Mr Hale said.

"You've called my husband I assume then?"

"Yes. He'll be arriving shortly," replied the principal.

Belle glanced over at Baelfire. "You have got to stop doing this, Bae and learn to ignore that boy."

Bae hung his head. "I know, but . . . he said Papa was . . . umm . . .impotent and stuff . . . and I'm so sick of people talking trash about him, Mama. And that prick and his father ain't fit to kiss Papa's boot!"

"I know honey but you also know he's not going to be happy about this."

"Yeah, I know . . .but I had to do something . . .I coulda knocked out the rest of his teeth and ruined that perfect smile of his."

"All that would've gotten you was out of school suspension, grounded for a month and a list as long as my arms of chores."

"Tell me about it." Bae groaned. "What's gonna happen to Devereaux? He broke his suspension."

"I'll decide that later," Hale informed him.

Rumple limped into the office. "In there, Mr. Gold," sniffed the secretary. "I'm sure you know the way."

"I do, madam," he said coldly. "And I'm sure you have duties to attend to."The frost in his voice could have withered a field of flowers.

The secretary quickly lost her smug look and cringed from him.

Rumple entered Hare's office.

Belle was sitting in one of the chairs massaging her temples. She'd had a headache all morning that got worse as soon as she was called to Hale's office, knowing it had to be about Bae and getting in trouble again.

Rumple's own temples began throbbing as soon as he saw her. He glanced at his son, who was sitting beside her, looking half-ashamed and half-defiant.

"Thank you for coming, Mr. Gold, though I am sorry we have to go through this...again."

Rumple shook his head disappointedly. "As am I, Mr. Hale." He looked sharply at Bae. "Baelfire, what were you thinking?"

"He was talking shit on you and I hate that!"

Rumple closed his eyes. Then he opened them and said, "Bae, you know better than to let what ignorant idiots say about me get to you. How many times have I said consider the source first? Especially when it comes to Devereaux and his family? They spread lies quicker than ticks on a mangy dog."

"Since this was a verbal confrontation I am giving him one week's detention."

Rumple nodded. "Fair enough. And I'll deal with the rest of his punishment at home."

"I don't want to see you back in here for the rest of the school year, Baelfire. Is that clear?" Mr. Hale demanded.

"Yes, sir," Bae said quietly.

"You can go back to class now."

"We'll discuss this further when you get home, son," Rumple said firmly.

Bae nodded and left the room.

On the walk back to class he spotted a poster for the dance the school was having next Friday. He wanted to ask Andi only he wasn't certain she would go...with him anyway.

Back in the office, Rumple eyed Belle with concern. "Is your head hurting, dearie?"

"Yes," she murmured, knowing his probably was too.

"Would you like some Tylenol?" offered Hale. "I have some here. Some of these kids give me migraines. And I'm not talking about Baelfire."

She nodded. And she wanted to be in a dark room.

Hale gave her some and after looking at Rumple, offered him some as well.

"I think...I'm going to go home early, Mr. Hale..."

"I want you to know that Mr. Devereaux will be punished as well . . .although that . . . song your son made up . . . is probably punishment beyond what I could do. Go on, Belle. You look like you're going to pass out," he said concerned. Then he added, "And . . . I couldn't say this in front of Bae but . . .that song . . . was the funniest thing I've heard in a long time."

"Blame his wicked sense of humor on his father," Belle muttered.

"Guilty," Rumple sighed. "Come on, Belle. I'll take you home."

Belle went and lay down in their room, and Rumple pulled the curtains shut so it was comfortably dark.

By then his own head was pounding with dwarven pick axes and he went and lay down next to her. "So just what was this song Bae sang?" he murmured.

Despite her pounding head, Belle smiled. "Well, you know how he improvises . . . and he only sang it because Etienne said stuff first . . .about you and I . . ." she flushed and repeated what she had heard in the hallway going down to Hale's office.

Rumple scowled. "Damn little bastard! Figures he'd say that."

"Yes, and then Bae . . .he said . . .and I've only heard some of it . . ." she repeated what she'd heard.

Rumple's lips quivered. "Oh gods! I know I should be mortified . . .but I'm not. Because all of it's true . . . and we all know it . . ." He started laughing.

"Rumplestiltskin!" she poked him.

"What? Come on, you know it and so do I."

She gave in then. "I do. But you know we're going to have to punish him for it."

"Of course, dearie. I wasn't about to let it slide, no matter how funny and how well deserved it was. What do you think of this . . .?"

**Page~*~*~*~*~Break**

Bae came home and closed the front door quietly, hoping to delay seeing his parents for awhile. He knew his mom had left early, and feared it was because something was wrong with the baby. But Major spoiled his attempt to hide by bounding over to him and licking him, making soft growling noises and pulling Bae's sleeve, wanting to play.

"Maj! Get!" he tried to shoo the dog away.

But the dog would have none of it, and Bae picked up a chew bone and threw it for him.

As the shepherd bounded after it, he heard his father's voice from the den.

"Bae, is that you? Come in here, young man."

Bae gulped. When Rumple used that tone and addressed him like that it meant his ass was grass and his dad was the lawn mower. "Coming, Papa," he called. He reluctantly made his way into the den, where Rumple and Belle were seated on the sofa, wearing identical Looks of disappointment.

"What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Papa, I had to . . .you should have heard what that piece of crap said about you and Mama," Bae defended.

"Baelfire, it doesn't matter what he said. You know and I know it wasn't true," Rumple began. "Furthermore, did it ever occur to you that Etienne was deliberately trying to get you in trouble? That he wants you to lose control and do something so bad that you get expelled?"

Bae flushed. "Umm . . . no . . . I thought he was just being a prick . . ."

"Your papa's right, Bae. We all know Gaston's had it in for this family since I turned him down and married your papa. He and his son have been looking for ways to throw dirt on us since then, and they'd love to see you expelled and prove that you're no good—a street brat who'll never amount to anything," Belle said sternly. "But we know better, Baelfire."

He bowed his head. "I'm sorry."

"The next time...and there really shouldn't be a next time but unfortunately it could happen, I want you to remember everything your mother and I have taught you and approach the situation differently."

"You mean...walk away or get a teacher."

"Or you come to me or Belle if we happen to be around and we will handle it."

"Yes, Papa."

"Don't make us have this discussion again, please?" his father pleaded.

"I won't...I really won't."

"Which brings us to your punishment..."

Bae braced himself.

"I'm going to be doing all the cooking as always but cleaning up after will be your responsibility."

"We're changing your bedtime to 9pm instead of 10 for the next six months," Belle said.

"What? But Mama, that's . . ." he sputtered.

"Yes...?" she raised an eyebrow.

Realizing his mouth would only make things worse, he muttered. "Never mind."

"That's what we thought."

She glanced over at her husband. "Anything else, Rumple?"

"Ummm...guys...there's something I want to ask you first. I mean...I know I'm being punished and I'll do it but...this is something I really want to do...I'll even take on extra chores if that's what it takes!"

They'd never heard him sound so desperate before and were curious as to why.

"What is it, Bae?" Rumple asked quietly.

"Umm...there's a dance on Friday I really want to take Andi to...but I'm afraid to ask her...what if she says no?"

"You're talking about the end of the year junior high dance?" Belle clarified. The posters had gone up today but kids had been talking about it for months.

Bae nodded. "Yeah, that one. I wasn't gonna go . . .but now . . ."

A part of him was jeering at himself, saying, "You idiot, it's Wraith! What the hell are you scared of?"But since the curse broke things had changed . . . and she wasn't just Wraith anymore . . . she was Andrielle . . .and when all was said and done, she was a noble and he was the son of a spinner . . .and his stomach was in knots over it.

"Did Andi mention she would like to go?" Belle queried gently.

"Uh . . . we kinda talked about it up at the cabin. She said she might . . ."

"Do you love her, Bae?"She figured she'd get the most difficult question out of the way first.

He went red and looked down at his sneakers. Finally he replied. "Yeah . . .I think so . . . but I've never . . . done anything with her . . . not ever . . . even after that time when Pete nearly . . .all I did was hug her. I was gonna kiss her but . . . I didn't want her to think I was . . . a lowlife or something. She was my best friend then and now . . . except now everything's different. She's not just Wraith anymore . . . and I'm not just Wildfire."

Belle took his hands in hers. "Sometimes we think what we're feeling doesn't have to be love...but it is and if it is for the right person, you have to fight for it or spend the rest of your life living with regret. Look at Papa and me."

"We had as many differences between us that you had..maybe more but look at us now. Do you think we'd ever want to go back to the way it was when we were cursed? No." Rumple said seriously'

"You need each other . . . you're like two halves of the same whole," their son said seriously. "I know I tease you about it, but . . .I want that with someone . . .and I think maybe she's it . . .only I'm not sure if she feels that way . . ."

"Find out." Belle urged.

"And you're afraid of getting your heart stomped on," Rumple said. "Bae . . . everyone is. It took me weeks to ask Belle out . . .not because I didn't love her, but because I did . . . and I was terrified she wouldn't love me back. But I had to know for sure . . . and so I asked her out. One date, just to test the waters. And that was all it took."

"And show her the time of her life and you'll have your answer...just like I did with your father."

"Follow your heart, Bae. It's wiser than you know." Rumple advised.

"She may be waiting for you to ask, Bae. I was."

"You think so?" he asked hopefully.

"I have a sense about people. You both know that."

"And where we came from, it was a man's place to ask a girl out," Rumple told him. "Nice girls waited for the man to ask her, a girl was considered forward or loose if she went after a guy."

"Not even the curse changed that in most of us," Belle added.

"Andi was raised a duchess, and the nobles are even stricter about such things than us common folk," Rumple added. "Take a chance, Bae. I did . . . and look what came of it."

"Then...we're going to make you two the best looking couple at that dance and the best behaved!" His mother smiled happily. "Which reminds me, Rumple, we've been asked to chaperone."

"That's a shock. Not for you, but for me. That they'd actually trust the Dark One near their children . . ."

"It was Mr. Hale's idea. Mr. Nolan and Mary Margaret didn't do a good job of it...too busy sneaking off."

Bae rolled his eyes. "And they ain't any better then they ougha be . . .having affairs when one of 'em was married! Besides, you're the best one to watch us, Papa. Because nobody can get anything past you. And I oughta know."

"And Miss Blue...she refused to do it."

"Good. The last thing we need is that old bat from hell as our chaperone." Bae declared impudently. "She's like the public enemy of fun."

"There's one thing Rumple...after we spoke to Dr. Ferrara I did some reading...since you're having my symptoms...you will drain faster magically...if you use it."

"I'll keep it in mind. And only use magic when absolutely necessary," He said. Then he looked at his son. "If you're asking permission to go to this dance, it's given. However, that doesn't negate this last part of your punishment."

"I don't care..thank you! Thank you both!"

Our boy is growing up so fast, Belle thought sadly.

Rumple looked amused. "You won't be thanking me, lad, when you hear what you'll be doing this weekend. I want you to think long and hard about what comes out of your mouth next time somebody taunts you . . .and remember that all actions have consequences. So . . . in addition to what we've already told you . . .I want you to clean this whole house-bathrooms, vacuum, dust-the whole nine yards . . .and act as our maid for the entire weekend. Then maybe you'll think before you act next time."

"And expect to be up at the crack of dawn," his mother added.

Bae groaned. "Aww man . . .this is gonna suck!"

"Shall we make it a month?" asked Belle frostily.

"No, ma'am. Just saying."

"Good. And I see you got your essay done...much better this time."

"I proofread it myself and didn't just use the grammar check on Word."

"Nor do I want you to since its accuracy leaves much to be desired."

She took off her shoes and propped her feet up.

The headache was gone but now she was famished. They were both learning daily that some of the foods they enjoyed before the pregnancy no longer agreed with them.

She got up and went into the kitchen.

"Rumplestiltskin!"

She came back into the living room with the empty container of cookies and cream ice cream she bought the day before.

"Did you eat all of my ice cream?"

He looked at her guiltily. "Umm . . .I got hungry after we woke up this afternoon . . ."

"He hates cookies and cream!" Bae pointed out.

"Not anymore, apparently."

"I used to think it was revolting . . . too sweet . . . but all of a sudden .. . it tasted fabulous . . .and I couldn't stop eating it."

"And the whole container?"

"I was watching TV . . . Law and Order SVU was on."

"I can't believe I ate the whole thing!" Bae mimicked the guy on the Alka Seltzer commercial and mimed holding his stomach.

Rumple swatted him. "Quit making fun of me."

"I guess I'll add that to the shopping list...along with jalapenos. Lots of them."

"Huh? Since when do you like those, Mama?" Bae goggled.

"I guess your sibling has a cast iron stomach."

Bae grinned. "Or maybe he's just a hot little guy. Like his big brother."

"Just don't expect me to be eating this stuff after it's born."

"Yeah, well, you'll have enough heat with you and Papa together, you won't miss it," he smirked.

She looked down knowing Rumple was going to be agitated when he found out she'd eaten all of his carrots the night before while he slept."

"Have to add carrots too.."

She'd developed a strong dislike for them as a child after tasting their chef's carrot soup and the carrots he'd used weren't even fresh, making the entire castle ill.

"Belle, I just bought . . .you ate my carrots!" Rumple accused.

"Well, our son or our daughter...insisted," his wife said sheepishly.

"Oh boy! It's the rabbit wars!" Bae snickered. "We're gonna have to start labeling the food now. His, Hers, and Bae's!"

"Ha ha...very funny, Bae." His father rolled his eyes heavenward.

He gave them a lopsided grin. "I'm sorry I keep screwing up like this," her son said regretfully. "It just . . . makes me spitting mad the way some people in this town judge you two . . . when they aren't any better and sometimes they're worse! I mean Mrs. Nolan was having an affair with a married man, Mayor Mills was having an affair with Sheriff Graham and after he croaked it was Sydney the editor of The Mirror and NOBODY ever says jack about them! And Gaston was humping everything in skirts . . . sorry, Mama, but it's true."

"Yes but we can be better than they are by not stooping to their level." Belle told him. "Remember how your father handled the situation in the diner. He could've turned them all into snails if he wanted to."

"And I would have . . . were I still under the influence of the dagger," Rumple said. "But now that I'm not, I can use the brains I was born with . . . and THINK my way out of a situation, instead of using my magic as a tool for vengeance."

"Are you gonna sue Ashley Boyd, Papa?"

"We have to...to send a message that what she did was unethical and wrong," Belle answered.

"Yes, because if we let it go, others will think it's okay to do what she did, and it isn't, not at all," Rumple said firmly. "And like Dr. Ferrara said, she knew what she was doing was wrong, it was in her contract when she went to work there."

"Good! I was just wondering," He said. "Uh . . . I got homework to do. Now you two behave and no making out, y'hear?" He shook a playful finger at them.

"If we want to make out...we will." Belle informed him. "Besides...we have to get as much of it in as we can before.."

"Before you get like a watermelon?" Bae teased.

"Or a beach ball."

"You just watch it young man...never know..YOU might have to go through this like your father is."

"Oh no . . . no way! I'm not a magician . . ." Bae shook his head.

"I think that's something I'll ask the doctor at our appointment."

"It's not inherited, is it, Papa?"

"Don't be too sure about that," Rumple warned.

"Great. With my luck, I'll probably have it too." Bae sighed. Then he went upstairs to do his homework.

Back in the living room, Rumple and Belle fed each other pretzel sticks and peanut butter, kissing between each bite and giggling like teenagers on their first date.

**Page~*~*~*~*~Break**

The next day at school, Bae met Andi at her locker before homeroom. He carried a peanut butter chocolate Pop Tart in his hand and was munching it as she came down the hall. As soon as he saw her, he quit eating and shoved the rest of it into his locker, which was two down from hers. "Hey, Andi," he said casually, or as casually as he could when his heart was beating in his chest like an express train.

"Bae. How's it going? Heard you got detention all week with the Blue Bitch," she whispered.

"Yeah," he sighed.

"But it was worth it because you stuck it to Idiot Etienne good, Fire. Uh . . . your dad lock you in the basement or something for it?" she joked.

He laughed. "Yeah, he hung me by my thumbs and whipped me," Bae chuckled.

"Sure, Gold. And I got a bridge without trolls I can sell ya," she quipped. "Seriously, what'd he do?"

Bae told her. "Not fun, but . . . I deserved it."

"Yeah . . . Mark would've grounded my ass too," she admitted. "But . . . that song . . . was the funniest thing I ever heard! I think you ought to write it down."

"Write it down? Andi . . . I did that off the top of my head. I barely remember all the stuff I said," Bae protested.

Her eyes twinkled. "Well, I remember all of it. Been hearing it since yesterday in the hallway. And you know how I can memorize stuff after hearing it once."

"You're crazy!" he grinned. But it warmed him that she had decided to remember something he'd made up . . . even if it was a naughty tune. Then he sobered, recalling why he was there so early. He gathered his courage and cleared his throat. Suddenly his palms were sweaty.

"Uh . . . did you . . . err . . . I mean . . . are you goingtothedancewithanyone?" he blurted in a rush, frantic to get all the words  
out before he lost his nerve.

Andi blinked. "Huh? Bae, _what_ did you just ask me?"

Bae looked down at his sneakers. He wiped his hands on his jeans. "Uh . . . I said—I said . . ." he took a deep breath and forced himself to articulate. "Are you going to the dance with anyone?"

Her fair skin went a faint pink. "Uh . . .who would ask me . . .a former Scorpion?"

"I would," he whispered softly, looking into her forest green eyes.

"You . . . mean that?"

He nodded. "If I didn't . . . I wouldn't be asking." He swallowed hard. "So . . . will you?"

"Thought you'd never ask, Baelfire!" she laughed. Then she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him lightly on the mouth.

For an instant he was struck dumb. _She said YES! She said YES!_ The next instant he was frozen as not only that realization sunk in, but the fact that she had just _kissed_ him.

And a moment afterwards he gently took her in his arms and kissed her back . . . a delicate kiss, like the sapphire blue butterflies she wore, a kiss that was cautious and curious, and yet conveyed his affection for her.

It was over in the briefest of instants, yet in that moment, everything changed.

But before they could say anything else, the bell rang and they had to get to class.

Bae grabbed his backpack and shut his locker. He felt like he was walking on air as he made his way to his homeroom, and all through the day he wore a faint smile on his face, even in detention with Blue. _She said YES! And then she kissed me!_ It had turned out to be the best day ever.


	8. The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands

**8**

**The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands**

Bae set his alarm for six am so that he wouldn't have his parents in his room giving him _their_ version of a wakeup call, meaning a bucket of ice water.

As soon as he was out of bed, Major came and whined to go out.

"Okay, okay..hold your horses, I'm comin'."

The dog bounded down the stairs and ran to the door, his paws skidding on the hardwood floor and leaving marks.

"Son of bitch! I gotta trim your nails!"

He was lucky his father wasn't awake yet or he'd already be tasting Ivory.

And he'd get another lecture about taking care of his dog . . . since Rumple had reminded him already the dog's nails were too long after Major put a puncture in the leather sofa the other day.

While Major was outside doing his business Bae tackled the kitchen first. He grabbed the trashcan and put it in front of the open refrigerator door, going through everything, discarding the spoiled items or soon to be spoiled items and restocking it.

Once he was finished, he pulled the trashbag and set it outside. Then he took a stack of bags out of the cabinet and went through the house pulling all the trash from the cans.

Their collector always came around after 8 am on Saturdays and he wanted to make sure he had all the bags and the recyclables out before they arrived.

After he'd done that, he made a list of the things they were running out of so his parents could get more of it at the store and pinned it to the fridge where they'd see it.

Then he fed and gave Major water out on the deck so the dog wouldn't get in the way while he cleaned.

"I'll play with you later, boy," he told the shepherd. "Gotta move my ass now."

The most difficult item to clean was the oven. He sprayed the inside with the cleaner his father always used and let it soak while he scrubbed the top of it.

Luckily Rumple was OCD about cleaning, so it wasn't as bad as some people's ovens, since he cleaned it every two weeks and sometimes more than that.

Should've hired a maid, Bae thought.

Then again, no maid was as fanatical as Rumple in cleaning frenzy mode. Once Bae found him scrubbing the bathroom tile with a damn toothbrush to get the grout clean!

Even when they were poor, his father had to have their small cottage so clean you could eat off the floor.

And it might have been tiny and with only two oil lamps, but it never stank like their neighbors, despite Rumple's spinning wool. He aired it out frequently by leaving the shutters open and using sachets and bunches of herbs hung everywhere to give it a fresh smell.

He glanced over at the wall clock after he finished scrubbing the kitchen. He had another hour before his parents got up.

Or so he thought...

Rumple lay shivering in the bed. The room felt like the North Pole and he'd wrapped every blanket on the bed around him like a cocoon and it still wasn't enough to chase the chill from his bones.

"Belle!" he cried, his teeth chattering. "Did you turn the thermostat down in here again? I'm freezing to death! What are you doing, imitating Elsa?"

"It's hot in here!" she complained."We're not in California, you know!"

"Well, now it feels like Antarctica, dearie! I know I look cute in my suits, but I'm not a penguin!"

"Yes, well, I'm not a rotisserie chicken either! And I swear to God if you keep stealing all the pillows I'm gonna . . .do something awful to you!"

"I can't get comfortable! My neck hurts!" he groused. "Maybe we should send away for MyPillow. Or the sleep number bed."

"FIne… at least I won't wake up with my neck sore too!"

He scowled. "If you didn't keep it like blizzard conditions in here, maybe we wouldn't _be_ sore!"

She shifted in the bed, her foot kicking his leg. "Do you really have to spread out so damned much...I'm about to fall off!"

"Hey! You know, that's my bad leg! You mind not kicking me there?" he growled. "Not to mention your elbow in my face last night. I probably have a black eye!"

"You were practically up my ass. What was I supposed to do?"

"Wake me up and ask me politely to move over," he grunted. "Not clock me one! Honestly, maybe I ought to sue you for beating me up, dearie!"

"I ought to sue you for trying to roast me or throw me out of bed then!" she countered. "Huh? How you like that Mr. Bighshot Attorney?"

They glared at each other across the pillows.

Abruptly, Rumple reached for his cane. "Damn nausea!" he gulped, rushing to the bathroom

"Hey! Me first...I'm the one actually having the baby! You can use the can!"

"Excuse _me_, dearie! _I_ was here first!"

"And why the hell didn't you put a second bathroom in first like I asked you to? We certainly can afford it!"

"I thought it could wait . . . I never thought we'd need it this soon . . ." he snapped, then grabbed the trash can and retched into it.

"When...ugghh...did you think we...ohhh… needed it? Christmas!"

"I'll put it on my To Do list, okay . . ." he groaned, as his stomach heaved again. "Feel like I'm on a freaking rollercoaster and I can't get off . . .ooohh . . . gods . . ."

"I don't want to get up..."

"I wanna just lie here on the floor . . ." he moaned. "But . . .Bae's gonna come in here to clean . . .hell, I need to get that kid outta bed . . .he's probably sleeping . . ." He lifted his head and soon realized that was a mistake as a fresh waved of nausea assaulted him. And as he vomited again, so did she.

"No more...no more.." she moaned.

"Next time . . ." he rinsed his mouth out with water and sipped some. "I'm gonna keep club soda by the bed and drink it . . . so at least I'm throwing up something . . ." His hair was flopping in his eyes. And he felt like crap.

They practically crawled back to the bedroom, relieved they didn't have to wake up Bae. They could hear the vacuum running downstairs.

"Well . . . least something . . . we said . . . got through to him . . ." Rumple coughed. Now his mouth was dry as the Sahara and he needed a drink of water. But he was too sick to get out of bed to get one. "Where's that bell . . ." he grumbled. When he couldn't find the little service bell he'd bought, he summoned it.

Bae just turned the vacuum off when he heard a bell tinkling from upstairs. His parents were awake.

"Coming, Papa!"

Even a simple act as summoning the service bell made him tired.

"Rumple...shouldn't have done that..." Belle murmured. "Remember what the doctor said..."

The bell had originally been purchased for his shop, but he'd forgotten to bring it in and then when he'd started getting sick along with Belle, decided to keep it home so he didn't have to go hoarse calling for Bae if necessary.

" . . .mmm . . .I know . .. but I need some water . . ." he began coughing.

"Papa..I'm...what the heck happened to your face! You fall out of bed?"

"No . . .I got beat up last night . . . _she_ did it," Rumple pointed accusingly at his wife.

"What? Oh my God! Mama, what for? What did he do?"

"He seems to forget there are three of us in this bed now, not one!"

Bae leaned against the door and howled with laughter. "Oh my God...my papa's got a black eye..."

"Real funny!" grumped the sorcerer. "I oughta sue for spouse abuse!" He sniffed. "Can you bring me some water, please? And an ice pack for this eye? I have to be able to see to go into work Monday."

"Yeah and how you gonna explain it? You got beat up by a pregnant woman. You'll never be able to live it down."

"I'll say I ran into the bathroom door on my way to throw up!" he said balefully.

"Like I said, he's a bed hog."

"And she wants to make me into the first Frozen Man-sickle!"

"He wants to roast me like chicken!"

Bae was still laughing.

"It's not funny!' the couple shouted.

"You're right . . ." their son agreed, smirking. "It's so not funny-it's _hysterical_!" And he cracked up again.

Belle threw a pillow at him.

"Oh go get us some water and ice chips, brat."

"Because if you make me get out of this bed, I'll tan your hide," threatened his father crankily. "And don't forget the ice pack. And a pot of tea also."

"Sheesh now I know why Joe was so miserable. You guys have major PMS!"

Rumple glared at him. "No . . . I've got major PBS! Putting up with Bae's Shit!"

"Yeah but you love me."

"Oh get going!" Belle scolded.

Rumple flopped down on the pillow. "Ahh . . .he's so lucky I _do_ love him. Otherwise I'd have tied his tongue in a knot years ago!"

"And I would've have made him write till his fingers fell off."

"Children. Can't live without 'em and can't change 'em into lawn ornaments."

"I can only imagine what this one is going to do..."

"Please, Belle . . . don't even _go_ there!" he begged. "Because this one's gonna turn my hair white. It's a True Love Baby . . . which means he or she's gonna have magic from the beginning . . ."

She groaned.

"We're gonna have to baby proof AND magic proof this house . . . and pray it's one of those nice even tempered ones . . ."

"Not to mention once she gets to Bae's age we're going to have to stock up on shotguns and ammo."

"If it's a girl, she's getting a chastity belt." He declared. "Won't have a bunch of horny teenage boys around my little girl."

"An Everlast Chastity belt," Belle giggled remembering it was a running gag in the movie Robin Hood Men In Tights.

Rumple giggled. "Uh huh. That one. And if it's a boy he's not allowed to run around behaving like a rutting beast either. He's gonna be a gentleman if I have to knock it into him. Not gonna behave like these boys today do . . .sleeping with girls left and right n' getting them knocked up."

"Remember that night we got drunk after our date..."

"Don't remind me . . . my stomach's still doing tumblesaults here."

"Most people would have just done the deed and blamed it on the booze but all you said was you wanted me to sleep with you...not do anything...just sleep because you wanted me to be close to you."

"See? I have principles even when I'm plastered."

"Oh I wasn't shocked." She murmured. "Which was why I didn't say no."

"Not like that ass Keith . . .he tried to come on to you when you were coming out of the bathroom of the diner that night." Rumple's eyes flashed. "He thought he could get away with it because I was trying to turn over a new leaf . . . and you were kinda tipsy . . ."

"I was mortified when you saw us...and afraid you didn't want to see me again."

"I knew what his game was, dearie . . . and he's lucky I didn't rip out his scummy tongue and all I did was whack his ass a few times with my cane. It would've been worse if you hadn't stopped me. Rotten sleezeball! Taking advantage of women like that!"

"I felt awful for letting myself get into that situation!"

"Wasn't your fault . . . he's the kind that preys upon vulnerable women . . . and he was cruising for a piece of ass that night . . . only he picked the wrong lady to try his tricks on," Rumple said hotly.

"What bothered me even more is a week later he was arrested for rape.."

Rumple nodded. "I told Emma to put a watch on him . . . but either he slipped her leash or she thought he wasn't the type . . . and poor Barbara Allen got the worst of it . . .but at least I got him put away in Boston for life . . ."

Belle shivered.

He would never forget the pleading look on the poor girl's face when she came into his shop that day. "Mr. Gold . . . please help me . . .I need legal counsel . . .I'll make a deal with you . . " and collapsed on the floor sobbing hysterically.

Once he'd found out what had happened, he'd told her the only deal he would make was her going to get checked out by a doctor and he'd take the case _pro_ _bono_, and nail the bastard to the wall with interest.

"That was one time where I wished I would've let you beat him within an inch of his life!"

"Hindsight's always 20/20, Belle . . .and at least Miss Allen got justice done and there was no . . .reminder of that night for her to carry with her . . .except emotionally." Rumple said sadly.

"I still see her once in a while and I can't even look her in the eye...I had someone to help me that night...she didn't have anyone."

It had been the first rape trial in Storybrooke and also the first time any of the citizens had ever seen Gold as a prosecuting attorney . . . and a defender of the helpless. It was the beginning of turning his reputation from the Dark One into just Mr. Gold.

"She didn't blame you, dearie. It was bad luck, wrong place at the wrong time . . . and he was waiting for her when she came out of the Rabbit Hole after her shift tending bar . . ."

"At least the Rabbit Hole hired security after you massacred them in court."

"Damn straight. And after I ripped Spencer a new one for trying to pin the blame on her because she worked there . . . saying she led Keith on . . .he was a worse monster than ever I was!"

"And considering he was the DA, he should've known better. But...he never did like the Allens which was why he didn't want to prosecute himself."

"And he was drinking buddies with Keith . . . and who knows what else back in our old home. You know the old saying . . .dirty deeds done dirt cheap under cover of darkness . . .you know what he was like when he was king . . ."

"My father was appalled. That filthy bastard would've tried to get ME to marry him promising he'd help us with the Ogres." Belle sneered. "Papa was apprehensive when I suggested we call on you but I preferred making a deal with you than anything else."

"And it was why he seemed so . . . grateful when I offered you come to live with me and be my son's tutor and chatelaine, huh?"

"Because a few days later he sent me a message telling me George went back on his word."

"Typical," Rumple snorted. "But by then he didn't need the old viper."

Bae returned with the water, an ice pack, and the tea, as well as a plate of toast lightly buttered. "Here . . . figured you might be hungry after your morning session."

"Funny...you make it sound like it was so pleasant," Belle grumbled.

"That's because _he_ wasn't the one doing it," Rumple replied, taking the water and sucking on the ice. "He forgets . . . I dealt with him with stomach flus as a kid . . .and it was no picnic . . . between him puking and diarrhea . . . I _wished_ I had magic back then . . .!"

"And I bet he was as cranky!"

"Worse!"

"Papa! God, don't you ever forget _anything_?" Bae groaned, going red.

"We're like elephants...we never forget," Belle teased.

"I wish you did!" her son groused. "Okay . . .going back to finish the den now."

"And make sure you dust under everything, Baelfire, not just around it!" Rumple reminded. "Because I'll find out if you didn't!"

He was referring to the items in his curio cabinet, which were several and Bae had tried before to cut corners there.

"And be careful of my chipped cup!" Belle warned.

"Okay...Jeeze, now I got two OCD freaks in the house!"

"I heard that!" Belle snapped.

"Watch the mouth!" Rumple warned. "Before I make you scrub the toilet with a toothbrush!"

Bae rolled his eyes and shook his head.

Suddenly a rolled up magazine levitated itself from the night stand and whacked him on the behind.

"And no making faces either!" Rumple growled.

"Papa!"

"You keep sassing me and you're going to learn just how cranky I can get." Rumple said, putting the ice pack on his eye.

"I'm goin'!"

Belle grabbed the remote off the nightstand and turned on the TV. She pulled up their Netflix account and started browsing through the movies.

"I feel like watching something romantic," she murmured.

"Such as?" he queried, eating his toast.

"I don't know...You've Got Mail."

"That's a good one. Or Sleepless In Seattle."

"We could watch both..."

"Fine with me. He settled himself more comfortably on the pillows and drank some tea.

Bae finished cleaning the downstairs and went and made himself a hoagie and devoured it and drank a Coke and ate half a package of Oreos before going to tackle the upstairs.

He heard laughter coming from his parents' bedroom and peered around the corner to see what was going on.

His father had his head on his mom's shoulder and was holding her hand . . . and cracking up at something Tom Hanks said to Meg Ryan. _Oh_ _my God!_ _He's_ _watching chick flicks now!_

Normally Rumple liked documentaries and edgy suspense dramas with cops and lawyers and Mafia people. Or Discovery channel.

Then Bae thought he was going to pass out when he started hearing his parents singing.

"Oh God...they're singing Celine Dion..." He covered his face with his hands. "Someone please...put me in a mental institution!"

"When I fall in love . . ." Rumple crooned in a beautiful tenor.

"It will be completely . . ." Belle sang back.

"When I go insane...it will be completely..." Bae mocked.

"Or I'll never fall in love . . ." Rumple sang, gazing into his wife's eyes with love.

"Or I'll have to go awayyyyyy..." Bae went on

"No, I'll never fall in love . . ." Belle began. "Bae, quit yodeling! You're ruining the moment!"

Bae rolled his eyes again. "Gross. I'm going downstairs before you start making out!"

Then he remembered he still had to clean up there and he moaned. "Somebody shoot me . . .please!"

Thankfully the trashcan was close by so he could heave if he needed to.

Or the toilet since he had to clean the bathroom down the hall.

_Jesus H. Christ, it's like living with two_ _moms!_

They spent most of the morning in bed but later in the afternoon they were feeling well enough to go to Granny's to treat Bae for doing a good job with the house.

The diner was quite crowded that afternoon for there was a special on corned beef on rye with coleslaw and Russian dressing with a side of fries and a slice of peanut butter pie.

"I'll have that!" Bae said as he read the menu. "Plus an extra large Mountain Dew."

"Need an energy shot, Bae?" Ruby teased.

"Uh . . . yeah . . . after being the maid all morning," he answered. And dealing with two chicks, he thought.

Rumple ordered a seafood salad on a whole grain pita with fried green beans and a side of cheese sauce.

Belle ordered a Chicken Caesar salad with tomato soup and applesauce.

"Coming right up!" Ruby said.

"Papa, who the hell eats fried green beans with cheese sauce?" Bae commented.

"It's what I'm hungry for and watch the mouth."

"Yes, sir, General Gold, sir!" Bae gave him a mock salute.

At a table across the room Jeff and David Nolan observed the Gold family not seeing any truth to the rumors that Rumple was in fact acting female lately.

"Men acting like women being pregnant...bullshit! David insisted.

"I dunno . . . Emma said she read about it online," Jeff said. "All I can say is . . . like hell would that be me! Even if I'd known she was pregnant with Henry and been there for her . . . that would _never_ have happened with me."

"I'd rather get committed."

"Me too!" Jeff agreed. "I mean, when my first wife was pregnant with Grace, I helped her with stuff . . . when I wasn't busy at the shop making hats . . .but I wasn't acting like I was a lady . . ." He shuddered."And when it was time for the baby to get born . . . I went and got drunk down at the tavern like a proper man . . ."

"Neither did I when Snow was expecting. Was too busy dealing with Regina's crap."

"Yeah . . . now _she_ can drive a man to drink!" Jeff snorted. "Poor Graham!"

"Now she's Sidney's problem he deserves what he gets."

"Yeah and then some, the fool," Jeff agreed.

While they were waiting for the food, Belle looked out the window and spotted the nail salon. "Oh! You know . . . I really should have my nails done . . ."

Bae winced. "Err . . . speaking of nails, I gotta cut Major's . . ."

"Mine could use some work too."

"We could go after dinner!" Belle said excitedly.

Bae almost spit out his Mountain Dew. "Uh . . . No! N-O!"

"What? Men have their nails done, Bae," his mother pointed out.

Bae looked at her askance. "Uh huh. Right. You couldn't _pay_ me to go in there!"

"Then you can take the dog for a walk until we're done."

"Good. At least I'll get some exercise," her son said cheekily. "Papa, maybe you'd better start . . . before your Armani's don't fit."

"Some of my clothes aren't fitting now Rumple...we'll need to start shopping for maternity clothes."

"Uh . . . all right, dearie, maybe we'll do that on Tuesday, after your appointment?" he suggested.

"Oh good! And we need to shop for the nursery too. Plus...the girls at work want to have a baby shower..."

"That's nice . . .we'll have to set a date," Rumple said. "And we can pick out a theme for it . . ."

"You want to be there?" she asked hopefully.

"Yes, of course. And I'll bake some stuff for it . . ."

A fork dropped on a plate across the room.

"He wouldn't dare.." Jeff muttered.

"A man at a _baby_ shower...?" David gasped.

"And he's cooking for it . . . like Goddamn Martha Stewart!"

"And did you hear them say they are going _shopping_ and getting their _nails_ done? What the hell...?"

"He's probably humoring her . . . you know how the women get all bitchy when they're expecting . . .Alice nearly bit my head off several times . . ."

"If I see him step one foot in that nail salon..."

Jeff laughed. "They probably owe him rent."

"Yeah, but if he gets his nails done...Jeff.. real men do NOT get their nails done!"

"I know . . . relax and drink your beer . . . it's probably nothing to worry about . . ." the other said, and drank his own.

Then they heard crying over at the Gold table and both men spit their beer out.

Bae wanted to crawl under the table.

His father was reading the newspaper in tears.

"Rumple, what's the matter? Is it Belle…the baby….did somebody die?" Ruby asked worriedly.

"M…Miss Gulch's dog…Toto…he was run over by a car yesterday." Rumple sniffled, dabbing at his eyes with his handkerchief. Ruby hugged him.

"Oh, the poor thing!" Belle cried.

"H…He used to dig up my flowers…"

"Papa…please….stop…" Bae moaned.

Belle glared at him.

Then she spotted Miss Gulch in the doorway of the diner.

The elderly lady was still very shaken. Rumple rose from his chair and approached her, wrapping his arms around her. "I'm so sorry," he said softly. The former witch was so stunned she burst into tears herself. The person who ran over her precious dog hadn't shown an ounce of sympathy yet here was the person rumored to have the coldest heart in Storybrooke treating her just as she felt she needed to be at a time like this….someone who was mourning the loss of a family member.

"We have to do something, Jeff. He's acting like a woman!" David complained.

"Yeah, cryin' over somebody's dead dog. How embarrassing! It's this pregnancy hormone shit. We need to remind him he's a guy, not a chick. You know what we gotta do?"

"What?"

"Manhood intervention."

"And how do you suggest we do that? Kidnap him?"

Jeff smirked.

"Are you crazy? He'd turn us into bugs!"

"Not if we can freeze him. You forget I used to do jobs for him back in our land and picked up on a few things. If we can get a hold of some squid ink we can freeze him long enough to take him and then we're going to make him a man again if it kills us."

The Golds were leaving the diner and as the men feared, Belle and Rumple went to the nail salon while Bae took Major for a walk.

When the couple walked into the salon the women inside were as excited as they would have been if it had been a major celebrity making an appearance.

"I think it's wonderful how finally we have a man who actually _understands_ what we go through, feels it, and that it's not as easy as _they_ think it is," Mary Margaret was saying during her pedicure. "They get the easy part...make the baby and their work's done."

"And they don't have romantic bones in their bodies," another ranted. "The other night I wanted to watch Pride and Prejudice…you know…the Colin Firth version and what does _he_ want to watch…an action movie!"

"Rumple and I watched Sleepless In Seattle and You've Got Mail and sang to each other. He has the most wonderful voice…"

"And that song just fits us perfectly," Rumple said softly.

"So….Rumple…where have you taken her on a date?"

"It just depends on what we're in the mood to do. Sometimes we just prefer to stay at home," he answered. All eyes were on him, expecting him to provide details that before he never would have given but he felt that some of the men in the town needed some lessons on how to treat a woman and he understood even more now than he did before what they wanted from their men.

"He's a wonderful cook," Belle said.

"David can't boil water without burning it," Mary Margaret muttered.

Belle smiled, ready to prove once and for all she had the best husband in the town. "He always goes all out to make sure I have best time….candlelight…roses….soft music….a warm fire in the fireplace…."

If it was possible for one to die of envy nearly every woman in the shop would've done it.

**Page~*~*~*~*~Break**

Meanwhile a meeting was being held behind the Rabbit Hole. The men still couldn't believe it….the biggest hard ass in all the realms taken down….by pregnancy hormones. It had to be some sort of magic…magic that needed to be broken before it spread like the plague and they all turned into woobies.

"So how are we gonna get the drop on him?" August Booth inquired.

Jeff reached into his pocket and took out a vial of squid ink he'd procured from Ashley Boyd. After getting a subpoena to appear in court for a lawsuit against her, she was more than willing to provide some means of hurting her nemesis. The men thought they had good intentions, she didn't.

"We coat our hands with it and touch him then he's frozen but we've gotta take him when he's alone. Give it a coupla hours and we'll make him a man again."

They staked out the nail salon, waiting for the perfect opportunity to make their move and were getting frustrated when it was taking too long for them to come out. Finally they spotted their target coming out of the salon alone. While he was walking past the Rabbit Hole Jeff and David motioned for the others to hang back until they gave the signal.

"Rumple, we need to talk to you," David began.

"Not now. I need to find my son and get home," Rumple insisted.

"It'll only take a minute," Jeff insisted.

"Fine. What's so pressing?"

"Well….ummm…this way you've been acting lately…it's not normal and we're a bit concerned…"

Rumple frowned. "It's none of your business."

"Rumple, trust us, we're your friends and we're doing this for your own good." Jeff said, placing a hand on his shoulder.

He scoffed. "With friends like you lot who needs enemies. What is this?"

Manhood intervention," David answered.

Rumple laughed harshly.

"Get him!" Jeff called out.

"Ohhhh you better think long and hard about this one, dearies!" Rumple sneered ready to blast them all into the next town until he looked down at his hands. They were turning blue and his limbs were freezing as the squid ink took effect. "Y…You bastards!"

"It's for your own good…and ours," Jeff insisted, throwing a sack over his head. He and David jumped into the front seat of the car they 'borrowed' from the impound lot while two others in ski masks dragged a protesting Rumple over to the car and put him the backseat. David threw the car in gear and sped off.

Bae was just coming around the corner with Major when he saw two men in ski masks putting his father into the backseat of a car. Major growled and started after them only the car was too fast for the well trained police dog to keep up with.

"Papa!" Bae screamed. Major began to whine. "I know, buddy…I know…but we're gonna find him. I got the license plate. Now how the hell am I gonna tell Mama!?"

When he arrived at the shop several of the women were comforting a sobbing Belle. She was holding a note in her hands. "Bae…." She wept. "Your papa….he's…he's been…"

"I know….I saw it…but we're gonna find him, Mama, cause I got the license plate!"

He took the note from her hands.

_We have your husband. He will not be harmed but he is not being returned to you until we decide he's fit to be. _

_The Concerned Men of Storybrooke. _

"If this is someone's idea of a joke, it's not funny!" Mary Margaret said angrily. The rest of the women were in complete agreement with her.

"What do they want with my Rumple?"

"Oh, I have pretty damned good idea what and who is behind it," Emma said from the doorway. "And when I get my hands on _his_ ass…he may not _be_ a concerned man of Storybrooke, I'll make _him_ a woman!"

The battle of the sexes in Storybrooke had begun.


	9. Manhood Intervention

**9**

**Manhood Intervention**

"Belle, sweetie, come on…we'll take you home," Mary Margaret and Ruby offered. Ruby considered shedding her red protective garments and going on a manhunt only this time it was to skin them alive, not strip them naked. Mary Margaret was ready to go home and retrieve her bow so that she could get in a little target practice, starting with her husband. There was no doubt in her mind he was involved in this little stunt and couldn't believe he would do such a thing to an expecting mother knowing the stress it would cause.

"Jealous, the lot of them," sniffed a former baroness. "I always knew that Rumple was a sexy one despite having that curse on him and looks like I was right. We'll get him back honey and those morons are going to regret they tried to deprive us of a REAL man."

"That husband of mine is going to be sleeping outside when I get hold of him!" threatened Mrs. Muffet.

"T...thank you..." Belle sniffled. "I...I just don't want them to do anything to hurt him...in his condition...I..I mean..he's not having the baby but...he's still..."

"We know."

Granny was sitting at the counter scribbling something. She handed it to Belle. It was a note.

_Return Rumplestiltskin immediately or you're going to learn the meaning of the words payback is a bitch...quickly_

_The Furious Women of Storybrooke_

"Mama, don't worry. Sheriff Swan's gonna run the license plate through her database and we'll find out where they took him and have Major track 'em down and I'm gonna kick somebody's ass! 'Cause nobody kidnaps my papa and gets away with it." Bae said heatedly.

Major barked in agreement.

"Even if it was a joke, it's not funny," Granny said angrily.

"Oh Bae...right now I would let you kick ass...since I can't and god knows I want to!"

"I'll show them a joke!" Bae growled. "Only THEY won't be laughing."

Bae hugged her. "Then I'll give 'em one from you, how's that? Right, Maj?"

His mother smiled.

The shepherd erupted in a volley of barks.

"Bae..give him something of your father's so he can follow the scent."

Bae pulled a tie out of his pocket. Rumple had given it to him before going into the salon, saying it was too hot to wear it. "Major," he called to the dog, holding out the tie. The shepherd sniffed it and whined. "Search!" he ordered. "Find Papa, Major!"

Major immediately put his nose to the pavement and ran over to where he'd last smelled Rumple, being dragged into the car. He began barking and whining.

"Be careful..." Belle pleaded. She knew the men wouldn't hurt their dog but she was afraid of him getting hit like poor Toto.

Major whimpered and barked.

"He's got the scent, Mama," Bae said, as the dog strained at the leash.

"Good...Find him, boy!"

Major watched for cars and when the coast was clear, pulled Bae down the road, tracking Rumple's scent through the air, as he'd been trained to do.

Several women smiled wickedly, intending to follow so that they could put a hurting of their own on the men.

Henry Mills who was walking out of the pizza shop was shocked when he saw what looked like an angry mob of women following Mr. Gold's police dog.

Bae jogged beside the police dog, murmuring, "Hell, boy, there ain't too many places they can hide in this town."

"What's going on, Bae?" he asked, catching up with the other boy.

"Some jackasses kidnapped my papa and are holdin' him for ransom or something like that," Bae told him angrily. "So Major and I are gonna rescue him and these ladies are gonna help take 'em down, cause most of the idiots are their husbands. They left my mama a note and said they weren't gonna return him until he was behaving normally. They made my mom cry!"

"Can I help?"

"Sure. You got a bungee cord anywhere? I need one in case I gotta climb somewhere."

"Yeah! I got one for my tree outside my window for when I used to sneak out to see Emma!"

"I got a hit on the car!" Emma yelled as she joined them.

"Cool! Can you get it for me?"

"Sure, Bae."

Bae pumped his fist in the air.

Major slowed when they came to a red light, sitting and waiting until it turned green. Bae petted him. "Good boy, green means go. Though I don't know how you know that."

Though the other women insisted she go home and rest, Belle didn't want to. She wouldn't be able to rest until her husband was at home where he belonged.

One of the women "borrowed" a wheelchair from the medical supply shop and put Belle in it.

Archie was going for a walk with Pongo when he spotted the mob and his mouth dropped open. "Ladies, what's going on?"

"Payback!" screamed Mrs Muffet.

"Yeah..no one tries to deprive us of a real man and gets away with it!"

"You got a choice boy...you're either with us...or THEM!" Granny warned.

"Dr. Hopper...they've kidnapped my husband...because they don't like that he's going through all this with me...being so wonderful about it all.."

"He's a REAL man!" Mary Margaret shouted.

Archie didn't know what the hell they were talking about, but he knew one thing-nobody messed with a bunch of angry women. It would be like walking into a cage of hungry lionesses with a steak around his neck.

"They-they kidnapped Mr. Gold?" he sputtered. "That's awful! Of course I'll help. There's nothing wrong with a husband being supportive and . . . and concerned and all when his wife's expecting! Nothing at all!"

"He's with us!" the baroness cried. "Let's get them!"

Henry raced back to Regina's house to retrieve the bungee cord. She was having one of her "meetings" and wouldn't be home until later on in the evening.

"Uh, Belle? WHO kidnapped him?" Archie asked.

"That asshole boyfriend of mine, my father and God knows who else...the 'Concerned Men of Storybrooke' they call themselves," Emma answered.

"Well we are the Furious Women of Storybrooke and here comes Operation Hell's Fury!" Mary Margaret proclaimed.

Emma smiled. Her son would be so proud.

Archie grinned. "I like the sound of that!"

Pongo barked and pulled him up to walk beside his friend Major and Bae.

One of the women made copies of Granny's demand, sticking it on every pole and post in the town and several windows.

Major paused and sniffed the ground when they came to an intersection. He was very focused and didn't even acknowledge Pongo. He cast back and forth for a few moments before deciding to go and make a left hand turn.

Belle caressed her abdomen lovingly. "Don't you worry baby...Bae and Major are going to find Papa and bring him home...and some heads will roll."

**Page~*~*~*~Break**

The sack was pulled off his head and Rumple found himself sitting at one of the tables in the Rabbit Hole. He scowled with disgust.

"Now," Jeff spoke up, the others standing behind him still in their ski masks. They didn't dare take them off, fearing Rumple's wrath.

"The way I see it, you need a bit of a reminder that you're NOT a woman but the biggest hard ass in all the realms."

"Hatter, what is the meaning of this charade?" the sorcerer demanded coldly. "Release me immediately and let me go home before I lose my temper."

"Long as we got the squid ink on you, you can't go anywhere."

"And you're not," said one of the men. "Until you get over this shit!"

Rumple eyed him furiously. "Then make sure you have a lot of it, dearie . . .because it wears off. And when it does . . .like my son always says, I'm going to kick ass and take names."

"Oh we do have lots of it because we're ready to spend all night...even days if we have to til we get your head on straight and your balls back in your pants."

Rumple goggled. "My balls . . . you stupid asshole . . .this is about my Couvade syndrome, isn't it? You think . . .idiots . . .I'm having symptoms because I'm BONDED to Belle . . .not because I'm turning into a woman, you imbeciles!"

"Lesson number one: YOU ARE NOT PREGNANT. MEN DO NOT GET PREGNANT."

"I KNOW that, you prick! I never said I was! You don't understand a damned thing about what I've got!"

"Yeah so quit the puking shit."

"What—you think I _like_ puking my guts up every morning? Like hell! I can't help it."

"Lesson number two: no bawlassing in public and over crazy stuff."

"In fact...no bawlassing..EVER!" spoke up Mr. Muffett.

"Oh, so all of a sudden I'm not allowed to show sympathy for a friend's loss? You're pathetic! And Homer, I've seen _you_ bawling 'cause your team lost a game! How about that?"

"That's because it was a team. Men can cry over MAN things...not woman things."

Rumple rolled his eyes. "Well, excuse me for being a human being, Neanderthal!"

"Ummm. He kinda had a point on the last one, Jeff," David spoke up.

"Oh yeah...well Lesson number three: We DO NOT get our nails done! What's next? Makeup?"

"Unbelievable! I got a manicure, my nails were trimmed and buffed, it's not like I _painted_ them, for crying out loud! Look!"

"You don't see any of us doing that!" yelled a masked Leroy.

Others nodded in agreement.

"Furthermore, people need to learn how to mind their own damn business! What I do is _my_ business and nobody else's! Get it through your fat heads!" Gold growled. "Now you've upset Belle with your bullshit!"

"You're making us all look bad!" complained another.

"Well, you should feel bad! Kidnapping me? Whose dumbass idea was that? Yours, Nolan?"

"Probably just showing off like he always does," grumbled another.

"Nevermind whose idea it was," said Jeff. "Next lesson. We do not go to baby showers or cook like Martha Stewart."

"You're just jealous I CAN cook something edible and don't need to get my meals out of a box, Hatter!"

"He got you there, Jeff."

"You gonna take that, Hatter?"

Jeff grinned. "I see we're going to have to do this the hard way."

Rumple's eyes narrowed. "Anything you do to me, Hatter, I'll do back . . .threefold."

"You think. Put him in the car, boys...we're goin' to the Foxtrot!"

Several men hooted.

"Foxtrot! That's a strip joint!" Rumple cried. "You crazy?" He struggled to move, but the squid ink was still holding.

"Nope. Now you get the works."

"When I get free . .. you're gonna get the works from ME!" Rumple blustered, wishing there were a spell to negate squid ink.

"If he doesn't do anything when Electra gets on his lap, may as well be dead down there."

"I'd like to hear you tell your wife that, Homer!" snapped Rumple."And you can all expect an increase in your rent!"

"Once we're done with you, you're gonna stick to the biggest lesson...we keep each other's secrets. Right boys?"

"Right!"

"Help me God! It's like dealing with a bunch of teenagers on a football team . . . and it's why I never liked football to begin with!" Rumple muttered.

They were all convinced what he needed was a good time away from the wife or girlfriend like they all did once in a while and able to relive their bachelor days.

The sack was thrown over his head again and they dragged him back out to the car.

Rumple was furious . . . not the least because he knew this was causing Belle untold anxiety . . . and he didn't want her upset . . . it was bad for the baby.

They gave him another dose of the ink as soon as the other wore off.

The frustrated sorcerer gritted his teeth. The sack over his head smelled like stale beer and was making him nauseous.

Somewhere in all of it, the men had forgotten that they should have followed Rumple's advice and minded their own business but their jealousy was causing them all to forget common sense.

They heard groaning. "Aww, man pull over..he's gonna heave!"

"He's faking."

"Ummm...I don't think so..."

Rumple gulped . . ._dammit_ _. . .I will not puke all over myself . . .I'll wait_ . . .

"Cut the act Rumple, not buying it," Jeff taunted.

"I'm serious, man-pull the fuck over before he nails us!"

Rumple made a moaning noise, afraid to open his mouth just then.

"I am not getting puked on, Jeff, for the love of God...PULL OVER!"

Rumple was counting in his head, fighting not to vomit, and it took all of his concentration to do so.

"Still got ten more minutes, boys."

"You ass. He heaves you're fucking cleaning us up!"

"Aww quit bitching back there...he's faking it!"

But after an almost superhuman effort, Rumple lost the battle with his stomach. But he made sure to lean sideways before he vomited . . .and it all landed on the men sitting beside him.

"Jesus H. Christ, Hatter...I told you to PULL THE FUCK OVER...oh shit...he's not done!"

"Asshole . . . take the sack off me . . ." hissed the sorcerer, as the smell made his stomach heave again. Bile spattered the seat next.

David rolled down the front passenger window, fighting the urge to puke himself. One of the men ripped the sack off.

"You stupid dicks . . . I couldn't BREATHE!" Rumple gasped.

"Hatter, you stupid fuck. NOW will you stop the fucking car!"

Jeff slammed on the brakes and brought the car to a stop in front of the fire station.

The men in the backseat helped Rumple out and made him sit down on the sidewalk. Jeff grabbed a hose and sprayed all of them.

"Great, fucktard! Now we're all soaked!" snapped Rumple. "I hope all of you get pneumonia!"

Then Jeff turned the hose on the backseat.

"Ahh..you'll be hot enough once we get to the Foxtrot...IN!"

"The lights are all on but nobody's home upstairs!" Rumple coughed. He was shivering and wet and miserable.

"Least once we get there the girls'll give us some dry clothes!"

"You know . . . what your problem is? You're jealous . . .that your women are HAPPY to find a man who actually isn't afraid to admit he has feelings . . . and it scares you all spitless!" sneered the pawnbroker.

When they got to the Foxtrot the owner was waiting for them.

"What the hell happened to you guys?" Mr. Fox asked, ignoring the angry sorcerer. "And you're late."

"Well if that stupid shit had pulled over like we asked him to, we wouldn't have been puked on. You got some dry clothes or what?"

"Yeah...go on in and the girls will fix you up."

Rumple's lip curled. He detested wearing anybody's cast offs . . . God knew where they'd been. But he was freezing in his soaking wet shirt and pants. Cowards! The whole lot of them! he thought mockingly.

Miss Blue spotted a group of men walking into the club, one of them being Rumplestiltskin and dashed into her dressing room

She hated moonlighting at the awful joint but she'd been behind on her rent one too many times and needed the extra money.

Several girls, barely clothed sauntered toward them. "Well...looks like you all could use some warming up."

The woman named Electra, a brunette with a skimpy golden Greek costume, took Rumple's hand. "Been looking forward to seeing you in here for a long time, hot stuff."

"Really, dearie?" he sneezed.

'"Ummm...hmmm...but would've been nice if you had those amazing leather pants you wore back home...fit your ass real good."

"I'm flattered . . .you want to see me in them? Then let's make a deal . . .get me out of here . . . and I'll conjure some up . . ." Gold said with a sly grin.

Belle would kill him if she heard what just came out of his mouth . . . but he was desperate to get home . . .and he'd only wear them for her . .. not turn tricks in them.

"Kinda hard to do with that on you, sweetie," she said, pointing at the ink stain on his shoulder.

Not even the water had taken it off.

"Lectra...quit pissing around! Got a show to do!"

"Shut up! Conducting business here!" she yelled back.

He sighed. "Now, yes. But later . . ."

"Mmm...maybe we don't have to wait til later..I'm sure one of the guys has a pair you can borrow."

The bouncers wore them as part of their uniforms.

Damn! He hadn't thought of that.

She led the soaking wet sorcerer down the hall just as Miss Blue came out of her dressing room.

"Oh my God!" she cried in horror. "Mr Gold...ahh...I...errr...that is..."

"Miss Blue!" he exclaimed, taking in her costume. "You . . . work . . . here . . .?"

"Ummm...yeah..."

"In the gods name . . . why? You're a teacher . . ."

"We call her Aqua Mystique," Electra grinned.

"Well...ummm...this place pays more in a night than I can make in two days..."

"Tips, sweetie...tips," Electra supplied. "Now go back in your little hidey hole, Aqua and let _me_ take care of this tasty morsel!"

"Dearie, I'm not your morsel," Rumple protested. "I'm here under duress." He jerked his head at the ink stain. "No offense . . . but I'm happily married and my wife's expecting. This was . . . a joke that got out of hand . . . played by some idiots with all muscles, no brains, and no idea of how furious their wives and girls are going to be once they figure out what went down . .. "

"No sweat, babe...I got you covered." She took out her cellphone. "Helloooooo...honey...you'll never guess who I have here with me."

"RUMPLE!" Belle's voice screamed through the speaker.

"Belle, calm down...he's okay...but you owe me big time for this one!"

"Let me talk to him..please!" Belle begged.

"Belle . . . sweetheart, I'm fine . . . just a little . . . frozen at the moment . . ."

"Oh god...what happened?"

"Squid ink, dearie. I'm like a damn cardboard stiff here," Rumple sighed.

"We're coming to get you...just sit tight...I love you..."

"Love you too . . . and don't worry . . .I don't want you getting all worked up . . .because if anything happens to you or the baby . . . I'm killing all these ignoramuses . . ."

"I'm all right. You're safe with Marie. She'll keep those other tarts away."

"Oh yeah, Belle...now what if I want to cop a feel on that sweet ass of his?"

Belle laughed. "Remind her you're mine, will you please?"

"Hands off the merchandise, dearie. No touching. Only one person's allowed to touch my ass, dearie, and it's the one who's carrying my child."

Marie snorted. "Just like ALL princesses, she gets the hot ones while the ladies in waiting get the frogs."

"Oh there are a few grooms back in my village who would have been happy to show off their muscles for you," Rumple smirked. "And they have an even sweeter ass than I do . . . all that riding, you know . . ."

"Yeah well I don't seem 'em here and Belle...you reeeeallly owe me for this! "

"I know..I'll tell you what...if Rum agrees you get to see him in leather pants."

"Way ahead of ya, Belle."

"I was going to make a deal with her for that, dearie . . ."

"So keep it and wait for the cavalry, sweetheart."

"Always, Belle." He blew her a kiss through the phone.

Marie hung up. "Ahh...here we go. Monty's about your size."

"ELECTRA QUIT STALLING AND GET HIM DOWN HERE FOR THE SHOW!"

"Shit!" she grumbled.

Rumple cocked an eyebrow. "It'll take longer than a minute to put them on, dearie . . . since I can't help . . ."

She smiled. "Be happy to do that. After all...who do you think got Belle into all those damned corsets?"

"But it could cost you your job . . ."

"Electra...two minutes!" bawled her boss.

"Asshole...he wants a show I'll give him one. How good can you dance, baby?"

"With this leg . . .not well anymore . . .but once upon a time . . . I could waltz you out of your shoes."

"Guess I'll just have to lap dance you a bit. But play along good...Belle would want you to."

He arched an eyebrow. "You naughty wench! Trying to get me in trouble?"

"You wanna ask permission?" she handed the phone back. "Go ahead."

"No . . .you would never make that claim unless she said so . . . All right . . .get me into something dry . . ."

She changed him into a blue silk shirt and leather pants.

"You see...me and Belle, we've done stuff like this before...covering for each other with her dad."she explained. "Don't get me wrong I love Maurice and he gave me a home when I didn't have one but he was so strict at times."

"You were his fosterling?"

"Yeah. Then this goddam curse hit and I ended up here instead of dancing in the ballet like I wanted to...can't now anyway." She pulled up her pant leg to reveal a long scar. "Car wreck...wrecked my leg just enough that I can't dance now."

"I could heal it . . ."

"You would?"

"Yes. I'm no longer the Dark One."

"Hold that thought...we got a show to put on."

"Lead the way, dearie."

The men were impressed seeing Rumple looking somewhat like his old self.

Marie gently pushed him down into a chair.

"Wooo hooo...c'mon Electra!"

Rumple gave her a smirk. "Do it, dearie."

"Play my song, Mickey!"

The DJ turned on the stereo and Billy Idol's Rock The Cradle of Love came on.

Marie hopped onto his lap and carded her fingers through his hair, wriggling around provocatively.

"Doing good," she whispered.

The men were cheering and pounding their bottles of beer on the table.

"If that don't get a rise outta him, he is dead down there!"

"Push 'em in his face Electra!"

It took everything she had not to laugh. She pulled his head down between her breasts.

She heard him chuckle. "Not bad, dearie."

"Yep...cost me a fortune to have these done..."

"Was there something wrong with the old ones?" he teased, wondering if he should just close his eyes and think of Belle.

"Too small...so everybody thought."

She stroked his leg with her foot.

He made a purring noise in his throat, like a happy kitten.

"Keep goin Electra...he's breaking!" Jeff crowed.

"Those idiots have nooooo idea..."

"No they don't. Shall we trick them?"

"What do you say we take things up a notch?"

She started unbuttoning his shirt.

"Holy sheeeeiiittt!"

Rumple made his eyes go smoky . . . and imagined being back in his bedroom with Belle . . .and she was unbuttoning his shirt . . .

"Goddmmit, now I want some of that!"

"That's it..." Marie encouraged. "Think of Belle..."

"How's it feel, dearie . . . to unbutton the Dark One?" he cooed, loud enough so they could hear him.

"Whooooo yeah...the BAD ASS IS BACK!"

"Very nice.." Marie murmured, trailing her finger down his chest.

"A little bit lower now . . ." Rumple sang, using his sexiest voice, the one Belle said melted her.

"With pleasure..."

"We are SOOO dead if she finds out..." cried one of the guys.

Her hands trailed down his abdomen . . . then he growled like a beast, a low rumble that reverberated through his chest.

"Now..when you get home...you take that wife of yours to bed ...You still can...right?"

"Belle's expecting, my girl . . . of course I can . . . and then some . . ." he laughed.

"I didn't mean it like that...her mum...wasn't in the mood once she found out she was expecting...And...that's how I got here."

"She's not that far along yet . . . so we can enjoy ourselves still . . . and do . . ." His eyes widened. "You're . . . Maurice's . . ."

"Yeah...I haven't told Belle...it would break her heart...he doesn't know either."

"She would never judge you," he said softly. "Look what she married."

"You think so?"

"I know it . . .family is everything . . .to her . . . and to me."

Marie hadn't meant for her secret to come out but she felt comfortable talking to him.

"Okay...big finish..you ready?"

"Bring it, babydoll!" he yelled.

She grabbed his hair and brought his lips down on hers.

Beer bottles clinked together as the men celebrated their success.

"Mmmm..heemm ..." Rumple said, giggling into her mouth as he kissed her. His brown eyes twinkled with mischief. _Fooled you good, assholes_!

"Oh gods..." Marie moaned when their lips parted. "If all men kissed like that..."

As they drew apart, Marie giving his behind a playful pinch, two young boys and their German shepherd were peering up at the side of the building.

"Whoa!" Henry cried.

"Maybe you oughta stay here," Bae said. "This place . . . it ain't for kids . . ." He uncoiled the bungee cord and prepared to throw it up to the second story window, since the others were shut tight and had no visible locks he could pick.

"But I wanna help. You said I could!"

Bae sighed. "Henry . . . I got my ass grounded for spiking your grape juice at your party . . .your mama would roast me over a fire if I let you go in there . . ." He thought fast. "Look . . . you take Major and show the ladies where we are . .. we kinda lost them for a bit . . .okay? And I'll climb in the window and find Papa."

"Got it!" Henry cried and ran off with Major.

Bae breathed a sigh of relief. At least he wouldn't be dead meat for letting eleven years olds see things like this. He tossed the hooked end of the cord up . . . and snagged it easily on the ledge.

He tugged it back, it caught and after a quick hard jerk to make sure it was set, he climbed up, quickly and easily, like a cat.

A brief stint with his picks . . . which he always carried in his shoe, and the window was open.

"I'd say this calls for a toast!" Jeff was saying.

"To the Men of Storybrooke...we RULE!"

You think, Marie thought, winking at Rumple when they weren't looking.

Rumple winked back.

"He' s ours again boys! Job well done!"

Bae balanced on the sill and flipped the cord inside, and then began to climb down the wall. The men below were all drinking and yelling and several half naked girls were dancing around the stage and inbetween the tables.

Bae would have looked a bit closer, but he was looking for his father, and he reached the end of the cord and jumped down to the ground, half-hidden behind a curtain.

Outside the women were yelling."They got him in the strip joint! C'mon girls...haul ass!"

"Papa!" Bae cried as soon as he saw him. Then he stalked out from behind the curtain and pointed a finger at Jeff and said, "Man, you are so BUSTED!"

"Calvary's coming..." Marie whispered.

"What the hell! Baelfire!" Jeff cried.

"We're dead!" David moaned.

Marie giggled. "They are gonna be pissing themselves now.."

"Let him go!" Bae growled. He twirled the bungee cord around his head like a bolo. "Or else I'm gonna kamikaze your ass!"

"Kid, watch where you're swinging that," one of the men cried.

"_You_ watch it, mister! Before I shove it up where the sun don't shine!" Bae threatened.

"He's one of us again now, Bae. We had to do it. Even you thought he was nuts." Jeff defended.

Bae glared at him. "Nobody kidnaps my papa! Jackass! You made my mama cry!" He flicked the bungee cord out . . . and snagged Jeff's hat. "You want this back? Then you let him go! Deal or no deal?"

"He doesn't have to deal for anything," they heard Belle say from the doorway when they wheeled her in.

"Aww shit!" one of the men groaned.

"Your asses are GRASS and we're the lawnmowers!" Emma yelled

"HOMER!" screamed Mrs. Muffett. "You're a disgrace to society you . . . you . . .bastard!"

"He's OURS now and you can't have him back!"

"That's what you think!" Marie declared.

"What...?"

"You've been had gentlemen...he's OURS!" Belle shouted.

Jeff gulped and gave Emma sheepish grin . . ."Uh . . . hi . . .Emma . . .!"

"Hi...HI is that all you have to say?"

"Umm . . .sorry?" he gave her his best _I'm-cute-so-won't-you-forgive-me_-smile.

Mrs. Muffet stalked over to her husband. "You . . .dumbass! Whaddya mean, kidnapping Mr. Gold? I shoulda listened to my daddy years ago . . .he was right, you wasn't worth a lick and when it comes to brains you got the short end of the stick!" She started beating him about the head with her purse.

Mary Margaret shot an arrow at her retreating husband's form.

"Oww!" he yelped, clutching his backside. "Snow . . . you _shot_ me!"

"You deserved it!"

"This really hurts!"

"Oh, quit complaining, you big baby! That doesn't hurt half as much as when I was in labor!" Mary Margaret growled.

"You're sleeping outside, buster!" yelled Mrs. Muffett as she chased her husband around a table.

"As for _you_ Hatter, you are sleeping in a jail cell!"

"But . . . but . . . Emma . . .it was a joke . . .you're not serious!" he pleaded.

"You kidnapped my husband!"

Bae smirked. "Want it back so you can make a quick getaway?" he taunted. "NOT!" the he tossed Jeff's hat to Emma.

"So we could make a man outta him again!" Jeff protested. Then he yelped as Emma snapped cuffs on him. "Hey, baby, can't we talk about this?"

"Sure. Through the bars down at the station. Shall I read you your rights?"

Rumple could feel the ink starting to fade and he tipped his head back and said, "I'm still a man, Hatter . . . only now I'm little wiser . . . and more compassionate . . . and I see things from a different angle. That doesn't make me less of a man . . .it makes me _more_."

"Yeah! Tell 'em, Rumple!" yelled a woman.

"And here's _my_ first lesson-it's not all about you in a relationship-it's about _both _of you . . .so treat her like she means something, or else you won't have her long!"

"And a lot of you won't!" shouted another.

"Lesson number two-follow the three C's for a happy relationship-compromise, compassion, and commitment." he continued.

He could now wriggle his fingers and he clenched his teeth at the pins and needles.

"Lesson number three-love what a person _is_, not what you want her to be."

"Right on!" cheered another lady.

"Are ya listening, Homer?" Mrs. Muffet yelled. "Or do I hafta beat some sense into your other ear?"

Her husband cringed. "Please, love muffin . . .I'm gonna go deaf . . ."

Belle couldn't have been more proud.

The ink wore off entirely. And Rumple was free. He stood up and glared at his would be kidnappers. "Last lesson, dearies. Never kidnap a sorcerer." His eyes glittered gold and magical power shivered through the air.

"Better pray fellas!" Emma laughed.

"Rumple...darling...you can't...you'll exhaust yourself..." Belle advised.

"Ahh . . ." he hissed. "And I really wanted escargot tonight." He grinned evilly.

She stood up. "You can have me instead..." she whispered. "I see you had Marie unbutton you...makes my job easier..."

He wrapped his arms about her. "I'll take that any night." Then he turned to the men again. "Don't think you're getting off easy . . .because _you_ have your wives and girlfriends to deal with . . . and unless you take my advice . . .you'll be living in the garage a _long_ time."

To prove his point all the women were glaring daggers and pitchforks at their menfolk.

"Take your husband to bed, Belle. He's earned it." Marie said.

"I still owe you one.."

"Not now...if your husband follows through on his promise."

"Come see me tomorrow, dearie. By then I'll be rested . . . and able to examine the damage and see what I can do. It might require a potion and a spell."

"As long as it doesn't wear you down..."

"Now do you see why I love him?"

"Absolutely."

"Rumple...let's go home.."

Bae was staring at some of the dancers with interest. "Whoa! Those are some serious-hey!" he yelped as Rumple covered his eyes. "Papa, I just wanted-!"

"Baelfire Gold!" Belle cried.

"YDNTK, Bae!" snapped his father.

"Huh? What the hell's that mean?"

"You don't need to know!"

"Awww . . . yes, sir." Then he allowed Rumple to steer him out the door of the strip club.

Marie wanted them leave with a smile. Someday she hoped to find a man who would love her as much as Rumple loved her sister.

Rumple wondered how many cases for separation and divorce he'd be seeing in the next few weeks.

They found Henry, Archie, and Major waiting outside.

"Thanks, Henry. You were a great help," Bae said, and handed him back the bungee cord. "Couldn't have done it without you, kid."

Henry beamed. "Really? Awesome!"

Major ran up and jumped on Rumple, breaking his training to lick his alpha under the chin, his tail wagging and making soft "talking" sounds in his throat.

"Okay, okay, dearie! You found me," Rumple chuckled, petting the dog. "Now down, boy! Before you make me need that wheelchair."

Major got down, but pressed close to Rumple's side, panting happily. Mission accomplished.

"He brought me right to you, Papa," Bae said proudly. "He's the best dog ever!"

Rumple caressed the pricked ears. "That he is, Bae. Now I'm tired. Let's go home."

Ruby pulled up in Gold's Cadillac. "Everybody in for Gold's limo service!"

"Ruby! How'd you get my keys?" Rumple sputtered as he climbed in the backseat along with Belle and Bae, letting Major ride shotgun, his preferred spot.

"She didn't, Papa. I hotwired it," Bae admitted.

"Baelfire!" Rumple cried.

"Mama said I could!"

"Just this once. For a good cause," Belle interceded.

"All right. Just this once," Rumple agreed. Then he put an arm around Belle and kissed her breathless.

Bae cast his eyes heavenward. "Dear Lord, is it rabbit season again?"

Behind the wheel, Ruby cracked up. "And people say I'M bad?" Then she muttered. "I need one of my own!"

"Well you can't have mine. I don't share." Belle murmured.

"Darn! Rumple, you got a twin brother nobody knows about?"

"No..he's one of a kind."

"Can you clone yourself?"

Belle laughed. "I am loving every minute of this. I have the best man in the town and now they _all_ know it."

Ruby made a face. "It's so unfair!"

"Remake Victor, Ruby," suggested her friend.

"That'd take a miracle."

"Miracles, happen, dearie. Once in awhile," Rumple chuckled.

Bae made a gagging noise.

Their child and the deep love they shared was proof enough of it.

Now if they could just work on their son...

"Our shopping trip is going to be a family one," she said. "Since our boy has a dance...and a date!"

"No . . . no way! Mama . . .please! I was gonna just throw on something in my closet!"

"WHAT?" his parents exclaimed.

Then he smirked. "Gotcha!"

"Smartass!"

Belle swatted at him.

He gave her puppydog eyes. "Don't you love me anymore?"

"When you don't drive us crazy!"

"But Mama . . . I'm _supposed_ to drive you crazy. I'm a teenager. It's my job!"

"And you do it too well." she giggled.

"Just like your father...only in a different way.."

She laid her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes, taking a little nap.

"Okay everyone..home sweet home!' Ruby announced.

Bae jumped out and let Major out. The shepherd ran around the lawn like a crazy animal, barking happily.

"Better wake your wife...Romeo!" Ruby teased

Rumple did, in his traditional manner-with a kiss.

Belle's eyes fluttered open. "The best part to waking up...is a sexy beast."

"You said it, dearie. Rrrowrr!"

"Now take me to bed..."

"As you wish," he said affably, and he put an arm around her, and grabbed his cane from the floor.

As he got out, Ruby stared after him and pouted. "I gotta get me some of that." Then she flashed them a grin and walked back down the street, heading back to the diner.

Seeing his parents giving each other heated looks Bae decided he'd best stay outside a while.

He shook a stick and had Major come and try and take it from him, ending up getting knocked down by the over enthusiastic dog and rolling on the ground with him.

"Who's a good boy? Huh?" he giggled as Major washed his face.

Belle snapped a picture with her phone.

The shepherd triumphantly grabbed the stick and paraded around the lawn with it.

Laughing, Bae jumped up and chased him.

His parents agreed bringing the lonely police dog home had been one of the best decisions Rumple ever made.

The couple watched the boy and the dog frolic together for a few more minutes, smiling as Major ran circles around Bae, occasionally jumping up to lick his face.

Neither one of them wanted to think about how devastated they would be if they lost Major like Mrs. Gulch lost her beloved Toto.

It was like losing a family member.

Bae flopped down on the grass and Major came and lay down next to him, with his head in the boy's lap.

Belle snapped another picture.

Rumple smiled. "That's a great shot of them, Belle. A boy and his dog. The perfect combination."

"These are the moments that make me wish we hadn't lost all those years together..."

"I know . . . but look at it this way . . . now we appreciate every moment we have . . .and perhaps it was meant to be that way . . .so we learned to value what we have today . . . because it could be taken from us tomorrow."

"Always so wise..." she murmured.

She could still recall their last day in the Dark Castle . . .

All of them knew they couldn't stop the curse from coming and it shattered their hearts.

"Why does it have to be their child to break the curse...why can't we?" she asked through her tears.

"I don't know," he whispered, hugging her. "My Sight only shows me . . .partial things . . . but that much I know beyond a doubt. No curse lasts forever, and someday the savior shall free us all." He gestured and a large leather bound book appeared in his hand. "And with this compendium of stories . . .at least one of us will always remember what has gone before . . . and who we are." He waved a hand and the Once Upon a Time book vanished. At her curious look he said, "I've sent it on ahead, dearie, to reappear to the one who will have the Heart of the Truest Believer."

"I don't want to let you go..."

"And I don't want to let you go. You are my flicker of light in an ocean of darkness. You and Bae . . . you anchor me to my humanity . . ."

"Papa...what's going to happen to us? We're not gonna be a family now...are we?" a frightened Bae asked.

"No, Bae..." Belle said hoarsely. "Separating us...is _her_ happy ending!"

Rumple hugged his son in his other arm. "But even if we're separated . . . no curse lasts forever . . . and in twenty-eight years . . .the Savior shall break it and we can be together again, like we are now."

"It's not fair!" he protested. "It's Snow White she's mad at...why do the rest of us have to suffer!"

The windows shattered and the purple storm clouds drifted closer...

"Because, Bae, vengeance is a double edged sword . . . and it poisons all it touches . . .Regina is mad at the world, son, and in her anger she'll destroy all that is good . . ."

"No...I don't want to go!" Bae screamed.

Rumple felt the darkness swirl about his son, dragging him out of his arms. "BAE!" he screamed, clinging to him with one hand. "Always remember-I love you!"

"Papa...noooooooo!"

His son vanished into the black mist. Rumple felt a piece of his heart shatter.

Now it reached for Belle.

"Rumple...!"

"Belle . . .

"No matter where we go or what we are...I'll fight to get back to you...I'll never stop! I love you!"

"You are my heart! And I shall love you forever!" He clung to her desperately.

She raised her lips to his.

He kissed her one last time before the curse took her from him, and then he let the darkness swallow him. . . .

She blinked and was back in the present once more. "Those fools in town...but we taught them quite a lesson, didn't we?"

"We did indeed," he chuckled. "Now it remains to be seen whether they'll learn from it."

"I hope so. But if they don't it's their loss."

"Yes. Now . . . I believe we have some celebrating to do." He smirked sexily. "And look . . . I wore my leather pants .. ." He twitched his backside provocatively.

She admired his new outfit. "Now why didn't you wear these colors back home?"

She gave him a playful swat.

He shrugged. "I don't know. It never occurred to me, I guess."

"You're buying more because you look delicious in black and blue...remind me to thank Marie again. She has you all ready for me."

His eyes twinkled. "Only for you, sweetheart. And no one else." Then he sashayed inside with that insolent strut she loved so well, that pulled his leather pants tight across his backside, even with his cane.

And while the other women of the town were probably contemplating divorce or separation, this one spent the rest of the day in the arms of her husband.

She knew in a few months they wouldn't have many moments like this and wanted to enjoy it as long as she could.

And Rumple was only too happy to accommodate her.

She was sitting on his lap giggling.

"You actually asked her how she liked unbuttoning you?"

"Uh . . . yes . .. I had to say something . . . to convince the yahoos around me that I was . . .getting it on with her. And that was the first thing that came to mind."

"Sooo...what else..."

"I want all the details, Rumplestiltskin..."

"Well . . . she told me something . . .about her past . . . but it's not my place to reveal her secrets . . .but I suggested she tell you . . .she also . . .told me she had implants . . .I pretended to growl when she wriggled all over me . . .and we almost died laughing when she kissed me . . ."

"I'll keep that in mind about her past. Maybe she will tell me. Now then I suppose she had your head in her bosom then. In that case..."

Knowing all the details they replayed those moments in the club only this time he didn't have an audience and he didn't have to be nervous with his partner.

Belle tossed his shirt into the corner. "Unlike Marie...I get stripping rights," she teased.

"And unlike those poor schmucks . . . I don't have to pay through the nose to get a lady to give me lap dance . . . or worry about getting my ass kicked when my wife finds out where I've been."

"I'm just glad they took you there and Marie was able to warn me. I would have spit a brick if Blue got her claws in you."

She noticed the surprised look on his face. "Yeah I know she dances there."

"I think she would have tried . . . if Marie hadn't been there," he murmured.

"Actually no...she said and I quote...I wouldn't touch that no matter how much he paid me...the bitch!"

"Well, we're even then, because I wouldn't touch her for all the gold I could spin!"

"Good...that means I still keep you all to myself and maybe if it doesn't drain you out...you could work a little magic to get out of those pants.."

He grinned. "Fortunately . . .I happen to be feeling frisky . . ." He stood up, gently depositing her on the bed, and did a long slow shimmy, moving his hands in a slow sensuous glide down his legs, and the pants came off in a slithering hiss, like a snake shedding its skin.

"Now come here you sexy beast!"

"Make me purr, sweetheart!" he challenged, and then he came into her arms.

"With pleasure." She brought her lips to the sensitive spot on his neck, leaving yet another mark for him to have to explain in the morning.

And he purred low in his throat . . .the way only she could make him do.

"Let's make a little magic again, my Rumple..."

"Every little thing you do is magic," he crooned, and then proceeded to give to her what he had never given anyone else-all of him.

When she was discussing what made him so perfect to the women in the shop, she omitted the part that meant the most. He'd given himself to her...heart., body and soul and she'd done the same and every time they made love, there was always something that made it feel like their first time again.

No matter how many times they did, there was always something new to be discovered, as they shared their most intimate part of themselves, in the eternal spiral dance of rebirth, renewal, and love.


	10. Altercations

**10**

**Altercations**

The next morning, Rumple woke up and went looking for his wallet, because he was going to go out and get breakfast sandwiches, since for some reason he was starving even after vomiting earlier that morning. But when he looked in his jacket, which was where he normally kept it, it was gone.

"Dammit!" he swore. "If I lost my wallet because of those idiots with that bloody manhood intervention crap . . .!" He scowled. The wallet could have fallen out in the car . . . or at the Foxtrot, or even on the road when they stopped at the fire station while he was frozen. And he wouldn't have noticed it until now.

He ran a hand through his hair agitatedly.

Major had just finished eating his breakfast and came up and nudged Rumple's hand, wanting to play one of his special games with him. Gold had read that German shepherds needed to play lots of games to stimulate their minds and keep them busy so they didn't turn destructive and chew or wreck things. So he usually played a game with Major before he went to work or at night when he came home, and Bae would "test" him during the day.

He stroked the dog's big head and muttered, "Now thanks to those dumbasses, my wallet's gone . . .hey, maybe you can find it for me?" he asked the dog.

Major whined eagerly. He knew the word "find".

"Major, find my wallet!" Gold ordered. "Find it!"

The dog had been asked to look for certain objects before, and one of them had actually been his wallet, so asking him to find it wasn't a new thing. The shepherd went and started sniffing, investigating the entire kitchen. Then the bright dog trotted into the den.

After five minutes, Major loped upstairs and opened Rumple's bedroom door with a practiced turn of the knob with his teeth. Entering the bedroom, where Belle still slept, the dog smelled all over, snuffling Gold's shoes and ties hanging on the tie rack.

Major snuffled the bed where Rumple had been, then went and pushed over the clothes hamper. He dragged out Gold's pants, which he had stuffed in there the night before, intending to bring them to the cleaners the next day.

The shepherd pawed at them, then stuck his nose into the pocket. He whined eagerly and wagged his tail.

But he couldn't get the wallet out, and he knew better than to tear clothing. So he picked up the pants in his mouth and brought them downstairs.

Rumple was taking some aspirin, since he had started developing a stress headache and he needed to be alert when Marie came by so he could heal her leg. He glanced up just as Major trotted into the kitchen with his pants in his mouth.

"Hey, did you find . . ."" he took the pants and then reached into the pocket and found his wallet. "Oh, thank the gods!" he breathed a sigh of relief. He set the wallet on the counter and the pants next to it and then he went and petted Major. "You're such a smart dog, aren't you?"

Major barked happily.

"All right, let me get your reward," the attorney laughed, and went to the pantry and got the dog a special treat, a large rawhide filled bone, which was something he only got after doing something wonderful, like yesterday, when he'd tracked Rumple or today.

This bone was basted with chicken juice and filled with peanut butter in the center.

Major gracefully took the treat and then went to eat it under the table.

As the crunching of the dog eating filled the room, Gold made coffee and put his wallet into his shirt pocket.

After drinking a cup, Rumple left to get some breakfast sandwiches at Granny's.

He'd just returned with them and set them on the counter when he heard Belle's voice from upstairs.

"Rumple! What's this mess up here? There's dirty clothes everywhere!"

Major gave a sort of whine and then covered his face with his paws.

"It's okay, Belle. I'll explain in a minute," he called up and then went to go upstairs.

He explained about the lost wallet and Major finding it while he picked up the clothes the shepherd had strewn about.

"Oh, good! I'm so glad it wasn't dropped somewhere," Belle said. "Speaking of clothes, we need to go shopping, Rumple. For me and for Bae."

"Sure, dearie. But for now, let's eat breakfast."

**Page~*~*~*~*~Break**

Before they went clothes shopping, Belle asked Rumple if he could pick up a few snacks from the store. He looked at Bae and said, "You want to come along? So you can get stuff you like?"

"Sure...can Major come too?"

Belle laughed. "And I can just picture the junk food piling the back of the car."

The way their appetites were lately, she wouldn't be surprised by what they picked up...as long as the baby didn't put up a fuss.

"Yes," Gold agreed. "Major, want to go for a ride?"

The shepherd barked and ran to the door, whining.

"Okay. Lemme open it, before you go through it, you crazy mutt," Bae said, and went to open the door for the excited dog.

"Now you boys behave...no roasting the men for their little. . . stunt last night...besides...I'm sure they've been beaten by the women."

"And how! I think Homer's probably lucky he's not living in a cardboard box the way Joan was after him," Rumple giggled.

"And let's not forget Jeff spent the night in a jail cell and David has a sore ass." She gave him a quick kiss on the lips and heard her stomach growling. "Our baby is getting cranky. Needs to eat."

"Okay. Be back soon." He laid a hand on her still flat stomach. "Be good for your mama now, baby Gold. C'mon, Bae. Before there's one of the endless lines at the check-out."

"And some old lady has a fight over a fifty cent coupon," Bae remarked as he went out to the car.

They all got in the car, with Major in the back seat sticking his head out the window for the short time it took to get to the store. They left the car parked in the shade with the windows rolled down so Major could put his head out and get some air.

Several women paused before they reached their cars, staring at Rumple.

"Why did I never notice how handsome he is before, Mabel?"

"That's because we never knew how much of gentleman he is, Patsy."

"Hello, Mr. Gold!" Mabel greeted enthusiastically.

Rumple was consulting the list he'd made, and didn't notice the way the women all looked at him, but his son did. "Hey, Papa!" Bae nudged his arm. "Those old ladies are checking you out! You're like a chick magnet."

"Huh? Bae, quit-oh, hello Mrs. Shoemacher."

"Are you shopping for Belle and your little one?"

"Yes, I'm just getting some snacks for us."

"Cause all four of them are starving at all hours," Bae informed her.

The two women looked at each other and smiled.

"You mean three of us," Rumple corrected.

"Four. I was counting Major."

"Well, we're glad you taught those rude men a lesson!" Patsy spoke up.

"You're welcome, Mrs. Allen," Gold said. Patsy was Barbara's grandma.

"You'd better hurry dear...lots of sales on fruit and vegetables. You, Belle, and the little one will need to eat lots of those."

"Yes, we will." Gold nodded.

"Yeah, gotta stock up on the carrots and the radishes," Bae chuckled. "Here, Papa. Lemme get a cart." He jogged over to the cart area and snagged one.

Patsy took some coupons out of the little folder she carried and handed them to him.

"Lots more in the Sunday paper every week."

"Thank you," Gold took them, even though he could afford to buy whatever he wanted. "I'll keep that in mind." He leaned on the cart when Bae returned with it. "Have a good day now, ladies."

"You too, Mr. Gold!"

The ladies went back to their car.

"Papa are those...oh my God they are...coupons!"

Bae started laughing.

"Stop it!" his father scolded. "I know we don't need them, but they were being nice."

"Next thing I know you'll be cuttin' 'em outta the Sunday paper!"

Bae couldn't resist teasing his parent and things only got better once they were in the store. It seemed that every woman in the place stared at him.

"Womanizer! Womanizer!" Bae sang the Britney Spears song in Gold's ear.

Mrs Muffett, who was at the produce section wheeled her cart over to them.

"Mr. Gold...I'm thinkin' about getting a deevorce...would you be willing to represent me?"

Gold wasn't too shocked. "If you'd like me to, dearie. Come by the shop and we'll talk tomorrow."

"That Homer...dumb as a box of rocks. Thank you, dear. I will."

She smiled and went on her way.

"Did she say...deeeevorce..." Bae chuckled, mimicking the woman's thick accent.

"Baelfire!" Gold gave him a Look. "All right, let's split up. You go get the fruit and vegetables and I'll get the milk and yogurt and water. Then we'll meet up in the snack food aisle."

"OK. I'm goin!"

Rumple pushed his cart down the dairy aisle first, getting milk, eggs, yogurt, and coffee creamer. Then he went and got the flavored water Belle liked.

He had just finished getting some flavored coconut water and had pushed the cart over to where they had the crackers and cookies, and was examining a box of Cheese Nips to see how many calories they had when a two and a half year old boy turned down the aisle, in a cart that looked like a race car.

"Vroom! Vroom!" the boy cried, then drove up the aisle, like he was in a race car derby.

Rumple was busy reading, and had his cane in the basket and was holding onto the cart with one hand and had the cracker box in the other when the boy slammed his cart right into the back of his knees.

Gold staggered as his cart went flying from his grip and he fell onto the floor. "Hey! What the hell!" he cried, trying to sit up.

Bae was just coming back to put the items he found in the cart when he saw his father on the floor. "Papa! What happened?"

"Some . . . some little brat knocked me down, Bae. Ran into me with his cart and then he took off down the aisle." He held out a hand for his son to take. "But other than that, I'm fine."

Bae helped Rumple to his feet so that he could brace himself on the shopping cart. "Stay here...I'll find him!"

And when he caught up with the little brat he was going to give him piece of his mind. His father would have tanned his backside good for such carelessness.

Gold shook his head. Kids these days! Totally unconcerned about anything or anyone. If that had been his child, the kid would have gotten a few swats and time out for doing such a thing.

Bae finally spotted the little boy in a race car styled shopping cart zipping down the aisles without a care in the world. Where the hell are his parents? Bae thought.

The kid nearly ran an elderly lady down as she picked up some pasta off a shelf.

Bae jumped in front of the cart and held it tightly to stop it. The little boy glared out at him. "Hey! You ran over my papa, you little brat!"

"Did not! Now get outta my way!"

"Did too, now c'mon!" He grabbed the boy and pulled him out of the cart. "You're gonna tell my papa you're sorry or else!"

"Put me down!" the child cried, but he couldn't escape Bae's hold.

"Finally! Somebody's doing something about the little menace!" cried a woman as they passed her.

Bae set the boy down in front of his father's cart, giving him a sharp Look. "Now, you've got something to say to him so say it!"

Trembling slightly, the child said, "Sorry, Mr. Gold."

"Good 'cause believe me, if this was me, I'd have a sore butt!" Bae scolded.

"You would indeed," Rumple agreed. He half-knelt so he could talk to the child directly. "Young man, you ran me over. This is not a playground and you shouldn't act like it is. You could hurt someone badly. Where's your mama or papa?"

"Uh . . .Mommy was gettin' some cereal an' I was bored," the child admitted.

"Where is she?" Bae demanded. He didn't see anyone in the cereal aisle.

The kid shrugged. "I dunno. She was lookin' at Cheerios." One hand crept back to cover his bottom. "Don't spank me, Mr. Gold. Please?" He looked pleadingly at Rumple. "I didn't mean to!"

"Jason! What are you doing!?" they heard a female cry out from behind them.

Bae gasped, recognizing her as one of the Foxtrot dancers . . .as well as someone else he'd known long ago. "This your kid? Why weren't you watching him? He tried to mow down my papa and God knows who else!"

Zelena paled. "I...only looked away for a minute..."

"Mommy . . .I had a car crash . . ." the little imp was saying.

"You had more than a car crash. Now what did I tell you about wandering off!"

"But I was boored!" Jason whined.

"I don't care. I've told you before." She grabbed his arm roughly, her nails cutting into his skin.

The child whimpered and started sniffling. "Mommy . . .m'sorry!"

"You will be," she growled. She started pulling the boy away.

The child threw a pleading glance back at Bae and Rumple, clearly terrified.

"Hey lady, ease up on the grip, will ya!" Bae yelled.

Gold frowned. "Hold on a minute, dearie. While I agree he deserves some kind of correction, aren't you being a wee bit harsh? You're leaving marks on his arm. Furthermore, you ought to have been watching him so he didn't take off on you! This incident is your fault also!"

"You stay out of this!" she snarled.

Gold's eyes flashed. "I will not stay out of this! Abusing children is wrong . . . and in this world it carries a harsh penalty. Look what you're doing!"

The child's arm bore five pinhole punctures and was bleeding. Taking advantage of the distraction, the boy pulled free of her grasp.

"I said...stay out of this!"

Jason hid behind Bae.

"Bae, take my phone. Call Child Protection Services. "Rumple ordered. "Because I'm citing you with a visible count of abuse and neglect."

"What?! You can't prove shit, old man!"

"Oh yes, I can. You left marks on a child in public, in full view of me and my son. In this state that's grounds for removal. And I'm sure once he's examined by authorities, those won't be the only marks on him."

"You need glasses, bitch? The whole store saw it!" Bae yelled.

Other customers nearby were muttering and throwing shocked and angry glances at Zelena.

"There's ahh...no need for that..maybe we can umm...work something out..."

She leaned forward giving him a better view of her braless bosom.

"Freakin ho…" Bae muttered under his breath.

"Not interested," Gold said coldly. "I don't deal with abusive lowlifes. Call them, Bae." He leveled a finger at her. "And if you think you can try something, dearie, think again." With a thought, he shielded himself and the children.

"You...you miserable ugly bastard!"

A purse flew out of nowhere and struck Zelena on the back of the head.

Everyone gasped in shock to see Mayor Mills herself bend down to retrieve it.

"I may have been the Evil Queen but there's even a line I won't cross!" she said coldly.

"Regina! How dare you!" Zelena spat. "Get your fat interfering nose out of my face!"

"Have fun in jail!" Regina sneered. "You call the cops yet, Rumple?"

Bae nodded. "Yeah, Mayor Mills. Already done."

"You fucking bitch. Had I been the one to cast the curse YOU'D be the one in jail!"

"This is why our mother chose ME, you ho!" Regina growled. "You're a wicked bitch, sister dearest. I always said it was a mistake to let you bring a child into the world!"

"Someday Regina...I'll get my powers back and you'll lose everything!"

"I'll get you my pretty and your little dog too," Regina mocked. "No wonder Elmira told you to go to hell when you wanted to be her apprentice."

"You can all go to hell! You, her, Mother, and this twisted little imp over there!" Zelena pointed at Rumple.

"Kiss my ass, ho bag!" Bae snarled.

"You didn't want him to go to hell when you put your boobs in his face, did you, Zelena? I'm surprised you didn't drop the panties while you were at it."

She waved her hand and Zelena was bound with duct tape.

"That ought to hold you till Sheriff Swan gets here."

"She's probably got crabs," Bae muttered.

"Bae!" Rumple muttered.

"What's crabs?" Jason asked."Is it like Sebastian the crab from Little Mermaid?"

"Yes, dearie. Like that," Gold coughed. He shot his son a Look.

Regina had to turn away . . . she was laughing so hard her eyes were filled with tears.

Jason tugged on Rumple's pant leg. "Mr. Gold, why's Aunt Gina laughin'? Is it 'cause she ka-powed Mommy? Lookit, she's all tied up, like a mummy."

Zelena tried to protest through the duct tape on her mouth.

Gold rested a hand on the boy's head. "I'd say so, lad."

Emma arrived minutes later along with Child Protective Services.

"Rumple, you want to file charges?" she said, and snapped cuffs on Zelena.

"I do," he answered.

Zelena tried to scream as she was being led away.

"Is she goin' to the bad girl's home?" Jason asked.

"Yup. To live with somebody named Bertha," Bae answered.

Regina laughed again.

"Bae!" Rumple groaned.

'Who's Bertha?" Jason asked his aunt.

"Somebody you don't want to know," Regina answered. "Come on, sweetie. You're gonna come and stay with me and Henry." She went and picked Jason up. "Thanks, Rumple for catching that. I knew she wasn't the greatest mother and I had suspicions but no proof. How did you happen to do it, anyway?"

"He ran over Papa with his cart," Bae answered.

"I had a car crash," the little boy admitted.

"Oh, Rumple! I'm so sorry!" Regina shook her head. She looked at her nephew. "Did you say sorry to Mr. Gold?"

"Uh huh."

"And where was your mommy during all this? Checking out guys?" Regina snorted.

"Ummm. I dunno."

"I'm not surprised. She used to leave him alone all the time back when she lived with my parents. He'd be locked in her room while she went off with her newest paramour." Regina sneered.

"Ho bag," Bae said under his breath.

"Baelfire! Watch the mouth!" Rumple ordered. "Or do I have to buy some Ivory?"

"Ummmm...no, Papa."

"All right. Now what else do we want?" Gold asked, and picked up some Ranch Wheat Thins and some Reeses Oreos.

"I'll see you around, Rumple," Regina called. "Jason, would you like some chocolate chips?"

"Uh huh!"

"Okay and then we'll get some apples for apple turnovers," she said as she walked off.

"Emma, I'll fill out the paperwork later," he told the sheriff. "Otherwise my ice cream will melt."

"All right, Gold, see you then." Emma said, and left.

"Papa you better get Mama's ice cream or she'll clock you one in your sleep again," Bae reminded him.

He'd only picked up chocolate which was what he wanted now.

"Right. I don't need another black eye," sighed the pawnbroker, and went back towards the freezer section.

When they got in the checkout line, one of the women looked in their cart, shaking her head.

"All that junk food's not healthy for you, Belle and the little one," she scolded.

"Uh . . .we have a teenager too," Gold protested. "So a lot of it's his."

"You don't fool me one bit, Mr. Gold. I've had three children and this is what was in my cart before my doctor set me straight."

"We . . .err . . . haven't had the first appointment yet," he said, flushing.

"Well expect to be lectured good if you eat like that."

"They like to eat the weirdest things. Like watermelon and pickles with chocolate sauce. Gross!" Bae remarked.

"Oh trust me, honey...it gets more creative as the little one grows."

"What's up with that?"

"Not sure...baby's sense of humor I suppose. And...if you are going through everything we are Rumple...you're going to be a bit more...emotional later on too."

"Oh God! It gets worse?" Bae cried.

Rumple looked horrified. "How much?"

"You'll be a bit more...sensitive about how you look...you can start crying at the drop of a hat...frustrated...angry over nothing, then giddily happy . . ."

"Good gods!"

"That sucks!" Bae muttered.

The lady finished paying for her purchases and steered her cart toward the exit. "But it'll be worth it when you hold your baby," she concluded with a smile.

"It will be," Rumple agreed.

"Holy crap, Papa if you're gonna be bad, Mama will be worse."

"Then you need to start working on your patience skills, Bae. We both will."

"I guess. Or I could just move out," he teased.

"You're a riot, Bae." Gold rolled his eyes.

Once they had everything in the car and were on their way home, Rumple phoned Belle and told her they were on their way, so she wouldn't worry.

Bae helped put the groceries away and then they were ready to go out again to go clothes shopping.

Belle had a stack of flyers in her hand from every department store. She handed some to her husband.

Bae stared. "What is this-shop till you drop, Mama?"

She smirked. "Well...your father does have it..." She fished his AmEx card out of his wallet.

"Oh boy . . ." her son said. Then he pulled out his special tinted glasses which reduced visual distortion so he could read normally. He carried them on a chain around his neck during school or clipped to his belt if he needed to read something at home. They were new, he'd just gotten them last week and found they made a huge difference in his ability to read and write things.

"Where are we going?" he asked, putting the glasses on and reading a flyer.

"Well...we need to pick you up a suit...and your father too for the dance. I need a new dress."

"And a new pair of shoes," Bae teased.

"Yes..to match."

"So will you, Rumple..."

"Why? I have dress shoes in three colors."

"Well...they're old and you're getting a new suit...so they have to mach..."

"Yeah, whatsamatter with you?" Bae grinned.

"Okay, Belle. We'll ALL get shoes," Rumple declared. "Including Mr. Smartass here."

"What color are we wearing Rumple?" Belle asked her husband."You look so good blue..."

"Then we'll do different shades. I'll do midnight blue, you can do frost sapphire and Bae can have navy," Rumple said.

"Oh my God...we're color coordinating..." Bae groaned.

"Next thing you know Papa and I'll have matching ties or something."

"That's not a bad idea," Belle said with a smile.

"No, Mama, I was kidding!"

"I'm not. It would be wonderful." She rhapsodized. "My boys in matching outfits."

Bae shook his head. "Papa, please...make her stop."

"Quiet, you!" Belle swatted his butt. "Or no Cinnabons for you!"

Not wanting to risk being denied his favorite treat, he held his tongue.

They started off in Babies R Us.

Belle listed them on the baby registry for their upcoming shower to make it easier for their guests to buy them gifts.

"Mama, why are we here first?" Bae complained

"I needed to get us registered first for the baby shower. We'll come back and shop for the baby later...once we know what it is."

They walked by a barbershop and Rumple said, "In here, Bae. You need your hair trimmed, you look like somebody's sheepdog."

"I'll run down to Victoria's Secret..." Belle whispered knowing her husband and son wouldn't want to be caught dead in a lingerie shop.

"You do that, dearie," Rumple nodded. "I might as well get a trim too."

"Not too short, Rumple. I like your hair the length it is."

"No, I'll just neaten it a bit on top."

"Good...and maybe I'll have a surprise for you later..."

He winked. "I'll have something to look forward to then."

"Will you PLEASE quit making eyes at each other? People are staring!" Bae moaned.

"Oh you hush up."She kissed her husband and dashed off to the lingerie shop.

"Let's go, Bae." Rumple steered his son into the barbershop.

After getting their hair washed, trimmed, and styled, even Bae had to admit he looked sharp. He just hoped Andi would like his new do, which wasn't quite as long, but it was shaped and thinned out so he didn't resembled a sheepdog any longer.

Rumple also got a nice shave and his hair was neatened so it wasn't flying everywhere. After tipping the barber generously, Rumple took Bae over to the Cinnabon kiosk, because his stomach was now growling.

They bought a six pack and some extra icing, and two large iced teas. Rumple sprinkled some slivered almonds on his and began to eat it.

Bae slathered extra icing on his and started to devour it.

They had just finished half of their treat when Belle returned with two bags from Victoria's Secret and said, "Oh, you two look so handsome!" She hugged and kissed Rumple. "Mmm . . .and you smell so good."

"Bay rum aftershave," he smirked.

"And Cinnabons," Bae said.

"Ooh, I haven't had one of those in so long!" Belle said, and took one out of the box. "And after I eat it, then we can go shopping for you two for suits and while you do that, I'll look for a dress. And maybe a few maternity clothes also."

Bae eyed her thoughtfully. "Mama, nobody could tell you're even expecting right now."

"That's now. But give me another four weeks and you'll see," she said and ate hers happily.

A couple wheeling a baby in a stroller passed them, and Belle's eyes lit up and she smiled, thinking that in another eight months or so that would be her and Rumple. She hoped the time would fly.

**A/N: Next up, more preparations, first dr. visit, Marie comes over, and the girls have a day at the spa.**


	11. All in the Family

**11**

**All in the Family**

"Rumple, Marie called while I was in Victoria's Secret. She's having a bit of trouble finding a babysitter and wants to know if it's okay to bring Gisella with her."

"Her daughter, right?" Rumple clarified. And also Belle's niece, though she didn't know it yet. "You tell her it's fine."

"Yes...you don't remember her? You met Marie the day you met me but she looked different then and you gave her a little doll for Gisella. She still has it."

"That's right . . .now I do," he smirked. "She gave me a compliment . . .she said I looked good in my leather pants. Shocked me to blazes."

"Well, you do..." Belle purred. "But even better out of them..."

And Belle wasn't in the least bit surprised her friend dressed her husband in leather pants for the manhood intervention. She wanted to see them in him since the curse broke and she remembered him.

"You will be finding a pair on this shopping trip..."

"You want Papa to go in leather to the dance, Mama?" Bae gasped. "He might start a riot!"

"No...those for home..'

"Oh! Because for a moment there I wasn't sure . . .and he'd get kicked out for making all those girls try to rip his clothes off like he was Steven Tyler or something."

I'm the only one who will be ripping his clothes off...thank you very much Baelfire...his mother thought.

"Anyone who laid his hands on him would lose them...quickly.."

"Grrr! You're like a she wolf, Mama!" Bae laughed.

"No, just a bit possessive when it comes to your father."

She finished off her Cinnabons and stood up. "Now let's get my boys ready for the big dance."

"So where are we going?" Bae asked.

"There," Rumple pointed to a store called Georgio's Formal Wear, with a tasteful display of tuxes in the window.

"Where Don Corleone shops, right, Papa?"

Rumple shook his head. "If you don't quit being a smartass, Bae, I'm going to get you pinstripes and a paisley tie and make you wear them."

Belle giggled. She enjoyed watching her husband and son tease each other. She rubbed her belly and smiled. "That's what you have to look forward to my sweetheart...they're crazy but I love them."

She decided to go into the store with them...just in case she had to play referee.

"Fight nice..dearies!" she teased.

"HE started it!" Rumple insisted, pointing at Bae.

"Not my fault! I'm not the one who goes around making offers people can't refuse," Bae shot back impudently.

"Do I have to put you both in corners?"

"No!" they chorused.

"Better. Because I will do it and you both know it...remember I did it at the Dark Castle."

She couldn't even remember what their fight was about. All she knew was that she'd gotten tired of listening to them and swatted both their backsides with her broom and ordered them into the corners, both of them shocked.

"I'm the master of this castle, dearie!" Rumple had protested, gaping at her.

"Right now you're acting like an ass. And a child...both of you." She glared at him. "So, if you wish to act like a child, you should be punished like one. Corner!"

Bae was laughing until she gave him the Look.

Then an ashamed Dark One and his equally repentant son actually obeyed her.

Back then she didn't understand why but now it was perfectly clear. They were starting to become a family then.

"C'mon, let's see what kinda suits they got so I can pick one to impress Andi," Bae said, and walked into the store.

"I'm going to wait to see what your suit looks like before I pick up my dress, Rumple."

"Okay, dearie." He followed his son into the shop.

A sales clerk with a nametag that read Vito came up to them. "Sirs, how may I assist you today?"

"My son and I are here to find a suit for a dance we're attending-me as a chaperone and him as his first formal affair." Rumple told him.

Vito nodded. "Ah, very good. And is there a particular style or designer you had in mind?"

"I'm partial to Armain and Dolce and Gabbana," answered Rumple.

"Right this way, sir. Both you and your son would be looking at a Slim Line . . .and we could do any tailoring you need on the premises." Vito offered.

"That won't be necessary. I . . .used to be in the business, I can do alterations," Rumple told him. "But thanks for offering."

"Is there somewhere I can sit down, please?" Belle asked softly.

"Of course, madam," the Italian man gestured gracefully and indicated an area where there were comfortably upholstered chairs and a small table. Beside that was a buffet with cups, a coffee pot, and creamer along with a plate of biscotti. "Please, have some coffee and biscotti while you wait."

"Wonderful..." she murmured, thankful the baby wasn't protesting over the biscotti since it was a favorite food of hers.

Vito gestured to neat rows of suits hanging on the wall. "These are some of our most popular styles. He indicated a suit in a deep blue color. "This is our Midnight Ensemble by Armani. It had a tailored jacket which has a relaxed fit through the shoulders for ease of movement . . ." He showed them a few other styles in various colors and then said, "Our fitting rooms are here." He handed them both a key. "When you've finished, just leave the suits on these racks here, so we can put them away."

Rumple examined the Midnight Ensemble and took it and two others to try on. The pants were a bit long, but then they always were until he hemmed them, but overall the suits fit him like a glove. He went and asked Belle which one she preferred.

"The Midnight Ensemble Rumple," she answered.

"That was my choice too," he said. "But I just wanted to be sure."

He went back and hung the other two on the rack and then gave Vito the suit and Vito then showed him some ties and shirts. Rumple picked out a silk shirt in a slightly lighter shade to accompany the suit, then asked Belle to choose a tie for him so she wasn't sitting there bored.

Meanwhile, Bae was trying to choose from the array of suits and after ten minutes just picked random ones and went to try them on.

"Papa, how's this one?" he asked when he emerged from the fitting room with the first suit on-a seal brown Armani. He had paired it with a red shirt.

Belle scowled.

Rumple shook his head. "No. The color makes you look sallow. Try again, Bae."

Bae nodded and went to try on the next one, a pearl gray with a white shirt with a jacket with tails.

Rumple took one look at it and made a slashing motion with his hand across his throat. "Gods, no . . ."

Sighing, Bae went back into the fitting room again.

The next one was a buff colored one with the same white shirt.

"Too big through the shoulders."

The next one was a traditional black. "Nope. Looks like you're attending a funeral, not a dance."

By now Bae was starting to get frustrated. "Papa, you haven't liked a single one of these!"

"Hey. It takes time to find the right one, Bae. Now try again." Rumple urged.

The fifth suit was light blue with white pants and the jacket had etched swirls in it. "How about this? It's blue."

Belle groaned.

Rumple almost choked. "No! just NO!"

"Why not?"

"You look like a reject from American Bandstand. Now take it off."

A disgruntled Bae did so.

"Maybe I ought to help him?" Rumple looked at Belle. "His taste in suits is worse than Milah's taste in skirts."

"At this rate, we'll be here all night!" Belle complained. "Please...do something!"

"All right. Relax." Rumple soothed. He got up and went to look at the suits in Bae's size. From them he selected three possible ones. One was a charcoal gray with a ruby red shirt, one was a navy blue Dolce and Gabbana with a pearl gray shirt and the last was an Armani that was an indigo color with a deep purple shirt. "Bae, try these on," he called at the fitting room door.

Bae opened the door in his boxers and scowled. "I'm not five, Papa! I don't need you to pick out stuff!"

"Son . . .you've never bought formal wear and it can be a bit . . .daunting. So just try these on . . . unless you want to be here all night."

"Okay! Jeeze Louise!" Bae groaned and took the three new choices.

The first one he tried on was the charcoal gray suit with the red shirt. "Is this better, godfather?" he mocked as he came and stood there for Rumple to inspect him.

"It's better than the last three you showed me," Rumple said. "Belle, what do you think?"

She shook her head.

"I just don't think they're his colors..."

"Okay. Go try on the next one."

Bae stomped back into the dressing room.

The next one was the navy Dolce and Gabbana with the pearl gray shirt. "Okay. What about this?"

"Hmmm . . ." Rumple said. "Turn around for me."

Bae did. "Want me to walk for ya too?"

"Baelfire, quit the attitude!" his father snapped. "Now, mister!"

"But you're being a pain in the butt!"

"I'm trying to help you," Rumple said exasperatedly. "Face me." He cocked his head. "Not bad. The jacket would need a few tucks though. Belle?"

"I think it's perfect."

"I can hem it, it's a little long." Rumple observed.

"That's cause I haven't got my growth spurt yet," Bae said.

"One minute." Rumple said. "Stand up straight, don't slump." Bae did and he adjusted the jacket, making it fall forward in a neat line. "How's that?"

"Very nice. I like it," Belle approved.

"Now, we'll get this one, but I want you to try on the other one too, for a backup. If that looks good, we'll buy both of them," his father said.

"Papa, I'm not a clothes horse!"

"You just do what I said. Now get! Or do you want me to come and help you?" Rumple threatened.

"Hell, no!" muttered his son, and beat a hasty retreat.

He emerged a few moments later with the Armani in the indigo shade with the deep purple shirt. "Well?"

"Very nice," approved Rumple. "That color brings out the highlights in your hair." Bae's hair was dark with blue highlights.

"Only YOU would notice that," his son grumbled.

The suit did look wonderful on her son but Belle still wanted all of them to be matching for the dance.

Then Rumple leaned forward and asked, "Do you like it, Bae?"

"Yeah. And the other one," Bae agreed. His head was spinning still but he would never admit it . . . and he trusted his father and mother's judgment when it came to formal wear.

"Okay. Take it off and we'll go pick out ties. Belle, did you pick out one for me?"

"What do you think of this one?"

She handed him an Armani midnight blue silk tie with purple abstract patterns on it.

"Lovely!" he said. "I'll take it."

"Now..for my dress..."

While she was window shopping a few weeks earlier she passed a store owned by the former dark fairy Maleficent only the curse had taken her powers away and she was now a fashion designer named Mallory Raven.

Her specialty was vintage clothing and Belle spotted a dress in the window she intended to buy to wear on one of their evenings out but once she saw what the boys would be wearing to the dance, the dress she wanted was perfect.

It was an exact replica of one worn by the late Princess Diana and she knew the original was on display and longed to have one of her own. It was a midnight blue strapless gown with layers of tuelle netting and a fishtail skirt with silver stars.

The former fairy had recreated it so that other women could feel like a princess wearing it.

"Let's see it, Mama," Bae urged. He had picked out a simple navy and silver striped tie to go with his first suit and a dark blue one to go with the other and Rumple had paid for everything with the Black Amex.

"We need to go to Mallory's shop to pick it up and she may need to make some...adjustments now."

When they arrived at the shop, the former fairy embraced the young woman.

"I haven't had a chance to congratulate you on the blessed event," she said softly.

She glanced over at Rumple. "And I must say...your aura has never been so bright Rumple."

She took a garment bag off the rack and unzipped it, handing the dress to Belle. I wasn't certain how far along you are so I made some adjustments to make the dress more comfortable for you and the baby."

"It's beautiful. I'll go try it on now!"

She only hoped her husband liked it.

She was on pins and needles when she stepped out of the dressing room in the gown.

Bae whistled. "Mama! You look like you came outta Buckingham Palace!"

Rumple was speechless for an instant. But his eyes betrayed how much he liked the sight of his wife in the gown.

"You look . . .amazing, dearie! Simply fabulous!"

She smiled. It was the same look he had in his eyes the day she'd fallen off the ladder in the Dark Castle.

Though at the time he was trying to pretend it was nothing.

"It fits perfectly. Thank you, Mallory."

"Rumple you look absolutely smitten," the fairy joked.

"He looks like he's been hit over the head with a board," Bae grinned.

"Or struck with Cupid's Arrow," Mallory added.

"And I can't wait to see YOUR expression, Bae, when you see Andi in HER gown," Rumple said.

"Ill just...go change so this doesn't get wrinkled..." Belle stammered, the heat from her husband's eyes making her body temperature rise and her heart beat faster.

"Good idea. Because I think you're giving him some wicked ones," Bae snickered.

Rumple glared at him. "Baelfire Gold, did I hear you volunteer to scrub the toilet with a toothbrush?

Mallory fanned herself.

"You're bonded," she murmured.

"We are," Rumple replied.

"I've never seen a bound couple give off such..." She blushed.

"No, Papa," Bae said quickly. Then he looked at Mallory. "Like what? They've always been like this. Even before we came here, in the Dark Castle."

"I've never been around them together before,"And their aura is hot enough to burn down a forest, she thought with a wicked smile.

Belle returned with the dress carefully stored back in the garment bag. "Thank you again, Mallory."

"You're quite welcome...and may I suggest keeping a bucket of ice water handy?" she teased.

"Ahhh...why?"

"Ask your husband, dear."

"Rumple, do you have any idea what she means by that?'

Bae rolled his eyes. "Probably has something to do with you two being rabbits!"

"Teenagers! Can't live with them and can't skin them!" Rumple coughed. He was sure he knew what Mallory meant but he wasn't about to discuss that here.

"All right, now it's near supper time and we ought to be getting back home," Gold announced. "Let's go."

"Papa, you didn't get your leather."

"I can do that another time. Or order a pair made."

They all piled back in the Cadillac and headed home. Rumple made soup and grilled chicken sandwiches for dinner. Belle had hers with Jalpenos and mayo and Rumple put BBQ sauce and Russian dressing on his. Bae ate his with cheese and coleslaw. They also had curly fries and vegetables.

Marie would be coming at six, so they had time to go for a brisk walk with Major and spoke with Archie, who asked how the suit was coming with Ashley Boyd.

"It's getting there, though she's putting up a fuss," Gold snorted.

**Page~*~*~*~Break**

"We goin to see Mr. Rumple and Auntie Belle?"

Marie smiled at her daughter. "We certainly are, Gisella. And he's gonna fix my leg up so I can dance again."

"You gonna be ballerina like me?"

Gisella was wearing one of her blue tutus and holding the doll Rumple had given her. She named it Rose.

"I hope so."

"Yay!"

Gisella mad a mad dash for the house with her mother struggling to keep up with her. "AUNTIE BELLE, MR RUMPLE, WE HERE!"

Major barked when he heard an unfamiliar car pull up in the driveway. "Major, stay!" Gold ordered, as he didn't want the dog to scare the child that would be coming into the house. Major would never hurt a child, but he was a large dog and looked intimidating.

The little girl saw the dog coming out of the house. "Ooohhh doggie!"

"Gisella, easy! Let him get used to you first!" Marie scolded.

"But I wanna pet 'im!" she protested.

"It's okay," Rumple said. "Major, sit!"

The dog sat and wagged his tail.

"Now you can pet him, dearie!"

"See..lookit his tail. He's 'cited an' wants me to pet him."

"All right, Gisella if Rumple says it's okay."

The shepherd grinned at her.

"Go ahead. Major loves kids."

Gisella pet the dog gently. "Ohh...you have soft fur. Mommy, I wanna doggie!"

"Ummm...maybe soon."

She glanced over at Rumple. "She's a bit excitable."

"She's a little girl. They're all like that. Would you like to play with Major? Bae, come out here and watch Major with Gisella."

"Hello, Gisella," Belle said softly.

"Hi, Auntie Belle! Lookit...he likes me!"

Major was licking her face.

She threw her arms around him and hugged him. "I like doggie kisses. You wanna play fetch?"

"He likes to play with his Frisbee," Bae said, coming out of the house with it. "I'm Bae."

"M'Gisella." The little girl held put her hand.

Bae took it, "Pleased to meet you." He snapped his fingers at his dog. "Ready, Maj?" Then he sent the Frisbee soaring across the yard.

"Get it Major...get it boy!" Gisella cheered

Major sprang after it, leaping into the air and snatching it in his mouth.

The dog landed on the ground and trotted back to Bae with the Frisbee.

"Good boy!" Bae praised and Major gave him the Frisbee.

Gisella jumped up and down excitedly. "Lemme try!"

Bae smiled and handed her the Frisbee. "Here you go," he said.

Gisella took the Frisbee and threw it. "Go get it, Major!" she hollered.

The big dog happily ran after the blue disc and brought it back to her.

"Looks like those two get along like a house on fire," Rumple said. "Come inside, Marie."

"Gisella, Mommy will be back. You stay with Bae. Okay?"

"Kay!"

Marie followed Rumple into the house. "Is there anything I need to do?" she asked him.

"You need to come sit down here on the sofa and put your feet up," he instructed. "I need you to relax. Belle, would you mind getting her some tea? The kava, please."

"I'll be right back," Belle said, patting Marie's shoulder.

Marie sighed happily, propping her feet up. "Those shoes I have to wear are murder on my feet."

"You ought to invest in different one then," Rumple said. "They probably made your leg worse." He indicated his Gucci loafers. "It's why I wear these. They have terrific support, and since I'm on my feet all day at my shop, they're just what I need."

"Dick I work for won't allow it."

She wouldn't however wear them when she wasn't working.

Rumple shook his head. "Maybe after I fix your leg, you can get out of there." He gently removed her shoe. Then he sat down with her foot in his lap. "Now, I said you needed to relax . . .and drinking that tea will help . . .but so will a very light massage. I'm going to use magic to heal you, but relaxation will help me heal you without a lot of discomfort." He began to gently massage her foot and leg. "Hope you're not ticklish, dearie."

"Mmm...can't remember the last time I enjoyed a man touching me below the waist..." she murmured.

Belle nearly spit out her tea she was laughing so hard.

He quirked an eyebrow at her. "This is purely platonic, you know." His fingers expertly kneaded and rubbed, loosening all the muscles in her foot and leg.

"Soo..doesn't mean I can't enjoy it..."

"Good then . . .that means you'll relax better," he chuckled. He continued massaging for another ten minutes, while she sipped her stress tea.

"Mmmm hmmm...and have a few dirty thoughts...involving a beach...and a nice ass in leather..."

Belle giggled. "You are so lucky I love you otherwise you'd be missing a few limbs."

"I know he's yours, honey, but damn...he needs to make himself a twin!"

"Hold that thought, dearie. I want you to close your eyes and imagine yourself relaxing on that beach now," Rumple murmured. "Okay . . .now I need you to breathe with me . . .one . . . two . . . three . . . four . . . five . . ."

"Okay...must not think of best friends's husband...gimme that guy who plays Caspian in Voyage of the Dawn Treader...mmmm..that's it..."

When he was sure she was in a light trance, he set his hands on the scarred leg. "Okay, you'll feel some heat when I start to heal you, and you could feel a wee bit of pain too, though I'll try and make it as little as possible . . ." He lowered his head and concentrated, calling upon his healing magic.

White light flowed from his hands and enveloped her leg.

He sent his magic deep within her, in slow pulses, first assessing the damage, then slowly healing what was torn and ripped.

She reached for Belle's hand when she felt a slight pain her leg.

"You're okay, Marie..." Belle soothed.

He mended thoroughly, not caring that it took longer than when he was the Dark One. The white magic he possessed was just as powerful, but it was not flashy or quick. And it worked with the patient's natural healing ability. He concentrated harder, and the light brightened. He numbed most of the nerve endings as he healed, but he couldn't totally shut them down.

Marie thought of the beach, Ben Barnes, and felt her sister holding her hand.

Rumple healed all that had been twisted and broken, restoring the muscles and movement to the leg and at last it was finished. The white light died and he removed his hands from her leg. "It's done, Marie. How do you feel?"

She opened her eyes. "Better...much better." She rose slowly and stepped out into the middle of the room, assuming a ballerina's pose. Though she was shaky from lack of practice, the steps did not hurt her leg as they once did.

"If you do exercises for twenty minutes a day, that'll strengthen those muscles and you'll be dancing again in no time," Rumple told her.

"I will...thank you Rumple."

"You're welcome, dearie. Would you and Gisella like to stay for dessert?" he asked. After a healing like that, he was famished.

"Of course. I'm off today."

"Belle, let's have some brownie sundaes," he suggested.

She grinned knowing how much they all loved them. "Marie, you're in for a treat."

Rumple went and got the brownies while Belle got the ice cream, hot fudge sauce, whipped cream, and cherries.

"I'd better go hustle that daughter of mine up."

Each sundae had a brownie base, a scoop of either chocolate or cookies and cream ice cream, was drizzled with hot fudge and had whipped cream and a cherry on top.

When Marie came back in the house with her daughter in tow, both of them were nearly drooling at the sight of the delicious desserts.

"Oooh...looks good, Mommy!"

"They're the best!" Bae said. "And you made mine with extra hot fudge, right, Papa?"

"I did. Now go wash up. You smell like a dog," Rumple said.

"You wanna share, Bae?" Gisella asked

"Uh, okay," he agreed, then went to wash his hands. He knew he could always have seconds if he wanted.

The little girl smiled. "I like him. He's really nice, Mommy an' he let me an Major play fetch."

The shepherd had gone to drink some water and was now lying beside the table, gnawing one of his pig ear treats.

Everyone took a sundae, except for Bae and Gisella, who shared one, and dug in. As Rumple ate his, he wondered when Marie would tell Belle about their true relationship to each other.

The sundaes were accompanied by coffee for the adults and chocolate milk for Bae and Gisella.

Marie, though she loved her dessert was having a difficult time trying to finish it. She knew she had to finally tell Belle the truth especially now that Gisella met the rest of her family and adored them.

"Is your leg bothering you, Marie?" Belle asked worriedly.

"Ummm...no. I'm...just thinking," she mumbled.

She glanced over at Rumple. She wasn't sure how to break the news to Belle gently, not wanting to upset her or the baby.

"Belle, do you remember once that you told me you wished you had siblings growing up?" Rumple began.

"Well...I've always thought of Marie as one...why?"

"Because . . ." he slanted a glance at his guest.

"I...I am your sister, Belle..." Marie croaked.

"What?" Belle gasped. "But...how, Marie?"

Marie sighed. "We...we have the same father...Moe doesn't know...my mother never told him...and I didn't want to tell you because I thought you'd hate me."

Bae froze with his spoon halfway to his mouth.

"You mean...she's my real auntie?" Gissela asked her mother.

"Yes," Marie whispered.

"I...I always thought it could be possible...we look a lot alike but...but I never said anything..." Belle stammered.

"You believe me?"

"I saw a resemblance the first time we met," Rumple said. "But I wasn't sure if it was a coincidence or not, so I didn't say anything."

"Of course I believe you!" Belle cried, throwing her arms around her. "No matter what you've always been honest with me, Marie and you were there for me while I was growing up when no one else was."

"I know it was wrong of Moe and my mother to..."

Nor would this have been the first time a husband had strayed when his wife was pregnant, Rumple thought.

"It was but it's not your fault, Marie...or mine. But you have to tell Papa."

"Grandpa's gonna pass out," Bae predicted.

"It was hard enough tell you!"

"You have to...not just for yourself but for Gisella too."

"Moe would love to meet his granddaughter," Rumple said. "He already spoils Bae rotten."

"He's seen her...just as my daughter...not his grandchild and he does treat her well. I...I don't want that to change."

Rumple leaned forward slightly. "It shouldn't. If he could accept me as Belle's husband and Bae as his grandson then he should be able to accept you and Gisella. You're his blood kin, after all."

"All right...I'll try."

Gisella was smiling at Bae." "Zat means yous my cousin so So's I can come over and play with you all the time."

Bae seemed happy with his newfound relatives. "You sure can." He agreed. He had always wanted some more relatives, like other kids in his village.

Gisella jumped down from her chair and ran over to Rumple hugging his legs. "Yous my uncle now too!"

His eyes twinkled and he picked her up and set her on his lap. "That's right, dearie. And I'm so glad you're happy about that."

"Uh-huh. I still gots the dolly you made me. See? " She held it up.

"Lovely, dearie."

"But I gots a question for you. How come you don't have scaly skin anymore? Mommy says you did and had pants that your butt looked good in."

"Marie!" Belle cried, glaring at her sister. "Did you say that about my husband's...butt around her!"

"It slipped out and she has super hearing! I swear."

Bae spit out his chocolate milk because he was laughing so hard.

"Yous not sposta swear Mommy cause then I gotta put the Dove in your mouth."

Rumple was chuckling too. "Out of the mouths of babes."

"Probably tastes better than Ivory," Bae muttered.

"Little pitchers have big ears and bigger mouths, Marie." Belle scolded.

"Shall I tell you why I don't have my scales anymore?" Rumple asked Gisella.

"UH-huh."

"You see, back when your mommy first met me, I was under a curse, and was an imp known as the Dark One . . . a very powerful dark sorcerer . . .and my leather pants were . . . uh . . .part of my costume, because they looked good with my golden scales. But when I married your Auntie Belle, there, True Love broke my curse and now I'm a white magician and my true self again. So no more scales, dearie."

"She kiss ya like in the movies?"

"Yes, she did," he laughed. That and much more, he thought with a smirk.

"Ooohhh so's you're like Beauty an' the Beast only you don't look like a beast."

"They called him a beast once," Bae said softly. "And I used to punch the boys out that said it."

"I'd kick 'em in the nuts!" the little girl declared.

"Gisella!" Marie cried.

Bae winced. Then he started laughing.

"Ain't that what you hadta do to that Gaston jerk when he tried to kiss ya?" her daughter asked.

"Yes...well...ummm."

"He smells...an he's gross too. One time I saw him scratch his nuts an' spit on the sidewalk!"

Bae almost fell on the floor. "So that's where Etienne the Evil Dick gets it!"

Gisella made a face. "Ewww. He's gross too."

"And a snot. He thinks he's all that, but he's a lying scumbag," Bae sneered. "He tried to get me expelled by saying I cheated on my chemistry test."

"He called me bastard. What's a bastard?" Gisella asked.

"Uh . . ." Bae looked at Rumple.

"It's a bad word, Gisella. Do you want me to get out the Dove?" he mother asked.

"No...no! Don't wanna taste Dove. It sucks."

"Nothing sucks worse than Ivory," Bae disagreed.

"I don't wanna taste anymore soap. Ewww."

"Yeah me neither," her cousin agreed.

"I'm glad to see them getting along," Belle said to Marie. "I'm still a bit in shock Marie but I'm not angry with you. I could never be."

"I should go see Moe. I'm still nervous though..."

"You'll do fine," Belle encouraged.

"I don't wanna leave. Wanna stay here with Uncle Rumple, Auntie Belle, and Bae!" Gisella protested.

She jumped off her uncle's lap and stomped her little foot. "YOu mean!"

"Gisella Alexandra, don't you dare throw a tantrum or you'll be going in the corner," Marie said firmly.

She looked up at her uncle. "You tell her I not 'llowed to go in the corner."

"She's your mama, dearie. And that means what she says goes." Rumple said quietly. "So you'd better listen."

"Okay..." she said sadly.

"But listen . . . you can visit here whenever you want on the weekend . . .and come up to our cabin too," he said.

"I can?"

"Yes. You and your mom can," Rumple told her.

"We can do all kinds of things at the cabin. Like fish and walk through the woods, and feed the deer," Bae said. "Once a fawn ate out of my hand."

"It did? I wanna do that...maybe it was Bambi!"

"Maybe. And Major loves it up there."

Marie pulled belle aside. "Sometimes I look at her and wonder how an ass like Gaston could've produced someone as good as she is."

"She's more you than him, Marie."

"Okay...Gisella we need to get going. Auntie Belle and Uncle Rumple will see you soon, okay?"

"Kay." The little girl jumped onto Rumple's lap again. "I see you soon, kay?"

"Okay, little one," he said, and kissed her cheek.

She jumped down and hugged Belle's legs. "I see you too, kay?'

"All right, Gisella." She kissed the little girl's forehead. Then the excited toddler ran up to Bae. "Gimme five!"

He slapped her palm gently. "Be good, imp. I'll see you soon!"

Marie picked her daughter up and carried her out to the car and they drove off.

"Cool!" Bae exclaimed. "Now I've got an aunt and a cousin. And if that jerkoff Etienne calls her a bastard when I'm around I'm gonna kick his nuts so far down his throat he'll have to become Plasticman in order to have kids!"

"As much as my better judgment wants to tell you not to, he would deserve it and so does his father," Belle said angrily.

"They always have, dearie." Rumple agreed.

"Oh damn..Rumple look at the time! We'll be late for our appointment!"

"Okay, let's go, dearie. It's a good thing Dr. Jo has evening hours on Tuesday."

"As busy as we were...it was the latest I could get!"

"Have fun!" Bae waved as they ran out the door.

Fortunately they were not late and when they arrived there were already several other women waiting to be seen.

Belle signed her name on the clipboard, filled out some paperwork, and then she and Rumple sat down in the waiting room until they were called.

One of the women glanced over at them and smiled.

"Now that is a real husband," she said to her companion.

"Yeah, mine wouldn't even come with me to see the sonograms. He made me go to all my appointments alone. I was lucky he came to the hospital in time when I was in labor."

"Mine was passed out drunk!"

"And then he had the nerve to go around and act like HE did all the work!" the other woman snorted.

"Hmph...all he did was donate the sperm...WE DO ALL THE WORK!"

"Well this is the last one I'm having from him and if he doesn't shape up, I'm shipping him out!"

"Good for you! I told mine that if he wanted another son he could have it!"

"I still can't believe those men had the nerve to kidnap Mr. Gold because he's acting like a real husband instead of a first class asshole."

"I can. They're all jealous and they think with their peckers instead of their brains."

"And half the time those don't work either!"

"Tell me about it."

"First appointment?" the first one, named Laura asked Rumple and Belle.

"Yes. Since I found out," Belle said.

"Well don't be nervous, sweetie. At least you have him here..." Laura said.

"I wouldn't let her come without me." Rumple said. "This is our baby and I want to be there for everything."

"Those assholes shoulda left you alone instead of taking you to that dive the Foxtrot!"

"Well, they got their asses handed to them, now didn't they?" Rumple said. "Hopefully they've learned their lesson."

"Mrs. Gold?" the nurse called out.

Belle rose and Rumple followed.

She was still a bit nervous but she had her husband at her side and that was all that mattered.

The nurse led her down a small hallway and into an exam room. "You won't have to wear a gown this time, since the doctor will just want to talk with you and do a blood test to confirm your pregnancy. Dr. Ferrara will be in shortly." She gestured to two chairs beside the exam table.

"Thank goodness for that." This visit was more pleasant than her last but she still didn;t want to be up on that table again.

After about five minutes the door opened and Dr. Jo came in. "Hello, Belle and Rumple. How are you?"

"We're fine, Doctor...just had quite a busy day," Belle said with a laugh.

"Me too," she smiled. "But after this you can go home and rest." She took a blood pressure cuff off the wall and said, "Let me just get a few vitals, Belle, and then we'll talk about what you can expect during the pregnancy."

"All right. As long as one of them isn't a group of insane men trying to kidnap my husband again, I'll be fine."

The doctor frowned. "When I heard about that I wanted to take my scalpel and castrate a few of them! Jackasses! There is NOTHING wrong with a man experiencing his bonded's symptoms. Thank God they didn't try that with mine, they'd have been eunuchs!"

"Well a few of them are going to be taken to the cleaners in a divorce if Rumple is representing their wives..."

"Good! Do it!" Dr. Jo said. After determining Belle's blood pressure was normal and taking her weight and listening to her heart, the doctor said, "I give all my OB patients this same packet when they first come for a visit. It has some literature about pregnancy and sample of prenatal vitamins you'll need to start taking as well." She handed Belle the packet in a small pink bag. "I've also provided a pamphlet for you, Rumple that details what you can expect too, my husband helped me put it together."

"Thank you," Rumple took the pamphlet. "That's very kind of you."

"My husband insisted. He didn't want you to feel like you were the only man who'd ever gone through this before. And actually, bonded couples aren't the only ones who have. " Dr. Jo told him.

"We're read that nonmagical ones have," Belle said.

"Yes. It's just that you're a little different because of the bond. You'll experience a bit more because of it. Now, I'll be taking a blood test to determine how far along you are, and I'd like to examine your first response test also."

Belle retrieved the test strip from her purse and handed it to the doctor in a plastic bag.

She took it and put it on the counter. "Okay, we'll do the blood test first, and my lab techs will have the results in a few days." She pulled on gloves and gently drew a vial of blood from Belle's arm.

A nurse came in with a laptop and took down the vitals and put them into the computer and another took the vial of blood down to the lab.

The doctor leaned on the counter and said, "So, I like to divide this discussion into two parts. Do's and don'ts. We'll start with the Do's first. Do get at least 8 hours of sleep per night, more if you feel you need to. As the baby grows, you'll feel more need to sleep during the day. That's normal, and you should take naps if possible. The same goes for you, Rumple. If you're tired, Belle will also feel tired, and that's not good. So you should both concentrate on getting enough sleep."

"Well ahhh...we've been having some trouble with that..."

"Trouble falling asleep or staying asleep?"

"Staying asleep. I ahhh...have to have the air conditioner on...and he stretches out.

"And I'm freezing and she's roasting."

"He never gives us enough room!"

"Ah. My husband always claimed I was shoving him out the door, I was so restless. Well, there's actually a simple solution to that. Enlarge the bed, either with magic or by getting a new mattress. I recommend a sleep number one, it can be adjusted on both sides to the preferences of the person sleeping in it. And there's a spell you can cast called Climate that will keep the temperature right for each of you."

"It won't drain him?" Belle asked

"No. It's a low level spell. The second thing after sleep you should do is nutrition. We have classes on pregnancy nutrition which you might want to consider. Taking the prenatal vitamins is important. You should also eat lots of lean protein, like chicken, fish, and lean pork. Beans are also. Lots of green vegetables and also dairy, such as Greek yogurt and skim milk or coconut milk. Some cheese is good also. Whole grains are good, and you should try and avoid a lot of processed food and fried foods, most of which probably don't agree with you anyhow."

"Not anymore."

"There are certain things you absolutely should NOT eat. Any raw meat or fish. No sushi, no steak tartare, no shark or swordfish or fish with lots of mercury. Canned tuna is fine, in moderation, and salmon is good as well."

"You should also try and limit the amount of sweets you eat. Try substituting sugar free ones . . .and eating fruit instead. Do try and avoid sugary soft drinks and juices from concentrate."

"You should gain from 25-30 pounds during your pregnancy, Belle. That's normal. Anything more and it means you're eating too much."

"Ummm...we both have a weakness for ice cream..."

"That's fine in moderation. But there are ice creams out there that have less calories and sugar. Still, if you have to have some, don't eat the whole carton. I know that's hard because your hormones are screaming you're starving, but you'll thank me later. Eating too much sugar can lead to gestational diabetes, which we'll test you for a bit later."

Belle smirked at her husband and pointed a finger at him, indicating him as the guilty party.

Rumple flushed. "I didn't even realize I did that!"

Dr. Jo laughed. "Don't feel bad. Andy ate a whole pint of cherries once and then blueberries. Until I put a lock on the cellar."

"Rumple ate my ice cream though he hated it before."

"Hormones, dear. They change your tastebuds. It's why sometimes you like odd combinations of food. That brings us to exercise. Like I said before, exercise is important for both of you. The better shape you're in, Belle, the easier time of it you'll have during delivery. Walking is good exercise and so is aerobics. There are certain exercises you shouldn't do when expecting, but there are pregnancy aerobic programs out there you can join or try. But if time's a constraint, just walking a little each day is fine for both of you."

"School will be out soon so I should have more time."

"Good. Even fifteen minutes a day is good. Speaking of school, since you teach I would recommend you get a DPT vaccine as soon as possible. That's diphtheria, pertussis, and tetanus. Those diseases are dangerous if you acquire them because they can damage a fetus in the womb. And anyone who works with the public needs vaccinations."

Belle glanced over at Rumple. That would also mean he did too.

"Me also?" he frowned. "As a magician I'm immune to most diseases."

"I know. You'd be immune to two of those three, but pertussis is so deadly to a fetus I'd recommend you get it as well, just in case."

Belle took his hands in hers. "We have to think of the baby..."

"Yes, of course. I just . . . don't like needles." Rumple sighed.

"I hate them," the doctor replied. "But I know how to give them so they don't hurt. I can give you yours, Rumple."

"Thank you. It's not so much the pain I worry about. It's the fact that they're sticking something in me. I feel like a lab rat."

"Yes, well, when you come for your next visit in a week, I'll have them ready for you." Dr. Jo assured them. "If you have any questions, just call the office and ask. They can page me if you need to speak to me directly. Either of you."

"Thank you so much," Belle said gratefully.

"Anytime and I'll see you next week. We'll call with the lab results before then. Good night! And get some sleep!"

Belle and Rumple left the office clutching their packets, smiling.


	12. A Little Family Bonding

**12**

**A Little Family Bonding**

Belle was trying to think of themes for the baby's nursery and playroom while she was looking out of the window at the big oak tree in the front yard. She was thinking that would be a lovely spot for a bench swing, when she saw Andi ride up on her bike. Bae was down at Rumple's shop, helping his father with some inventory of antiques he'd just received. Belle went down to open the door just as the bell rang.

"Hi, Mrs. Gold!" Andi greeted.

"Belle, you can call me Belle, Andi," Belle reminded her. "Come in."

"Uh . . . is Bae here?"

Belle shook her head. "No, he's down at Rum's shop. But he should be back soon."

"Oh . . .umm . . . well . . .I was wondering . . ." the girl looked nervously at her hands. "Did he . . .err . . . pick out a suit for the dance yet?"

"He did. Rumple and I took him to the mall yesterday," Belle told her.

"Oh . . .umm . . ." there was a long pause. Then the girl's green eyes met Belle's and she blurted, "I . . . haven't exactly found a dress yet. Would . . .would you mind helping me pick one out? I'm not too . . .great at picking out dresses . . . if it's not too much trouble?"

Belle smiled warmly. She had been expecting that. "Of course. Let me call Rum and tell him where I'll be going so he doesn't worry, then we can go over to Tiana's boutique here in Storybrooke. It's rather exclusive, but she has wonderful lines of clothing and I'm sure we can find something there. Do you have a spending limit?"

"Uh . . .Mark gave me his Amex and said not to max it out, but it's got over a $1500 limit on it, so . . ."

"Okay." Belle picked up her cell and dialed Rumple's shop.

Page~*~*~*~*~Break

Tiana's boutique specialized in turning frogs into princesses, as per its motto, and was called Transformations. Tiana was a former princess in Fairy Tale Land herself and the famed princess who had to kiss a frog. She was now a fashion designer specializing in clothing for teen girls and young adults for formal occasions.

"All right Andi, now you go pick out some dresses to try on and let's see how you look in them...okay?" Belle suggested to the teenager.

She was still a bit queasy from her daily bouts of morning sickness but she wouldn't let that deter her from helping to make the dance the best night of her son's life.

She had a picture of Bae in his suit pulled up on her phone so that she could match it up with the gowns that Andi would model for her, she still had it in her mind that they would all be in similar colors...she blamed the need for that on her husband...with much affection of course.

Andi came out of the dressing room in a crimson strapless gown with a low cut bodice and a slit up the side. Belle's eyes widened with horror and she shook her head.

"Sweetie, that's a little too...revealing," she said gently not wanting to tell the girl it would make her look too much like a teenage Jessica Rabbit and give the boys the wrong impression.

"Uh, okay . . ." Andi went back inside again.

Belle breathed a sigh of relief and glanced over at Tiana.

"For the record...that's not one of mine," she protested.

"Good because if it was, I'd belt you one! Why do you even have it in stock?"

"It's a popular one among the young girls...don't know why."

Because some of them apparently want to look like tramps, Belle thought angrily. "Andi, honey...do you have another one yet?"

"Uh . . .how's this one?" she came out wearing a very elegant deep blue gown with three quarter length sleeves called Starry Sky by Donna Karin. It had a tulle skirt with a soft satin underskirt and was shot through with dozens of Swarovski crystal chips on the bodice and sleeves. It fit the girl's willowy frame perfectly.

Belle was beaming. It was perfect..both in color and in style. "It's wonderful. Now stay there...I want to take a picture!"

She snapped a picture of the girl on her phone and sent it to Rumple with a text. **Doesn't she look wonderful?**

"I agree, Andi...it suits you," Tiana said. "Your date is going to be speechless when he sees you."

Belle smiled imagining her son would have the same star struck expression on his face that her husband did when he first saw her gown.

The girl blushed. "Umm . . . I like blue, it's always been my favorite color." She held out her hands which still had the blue nail polish on. "But I think I'm gonna get my hair styled for the dance differently, maybe bleach back the tips, cause that's not exactly suitable for formal dances."

"That's fine...I know...how about we have the whole works. I was planning on taking my sister to the salon and the spa...why don't you come with us?"

"Oh, could I! That would be great! Mark would just tell me to wash it and put curlers in it or something . . .typical guy! Thanks, Belle!"

Belle snorted. "Men know nothing of what we need to do to make ourselves stunning. Oh to give my husband credit, he has some idea."

"Then he must be the exception to the rule!" Tiana laughed.

"He is," Belle said proudly. "But I love him for more than that. Go on and change, Andi."

She took out Rumple's Amex card and walked over to the counter. "Go ahead and ring it up, Tiana."

Tiana raised an eyebrow. "You're buying it for her? It's pretty pricey."

"We'll spare no expense for our children, Tiana."

While Tiana was ringing up the sale, Belle sent Rumple another text explaining that she'd purchased the dress for Andi. She knew he wouldn't mind but the 1500 dollar limit Mark had on his own credit card wouldn't be able to cover it and as she'd said to Tiana, she would spare no expense for her child though Andi wasn't her child. She didn't have to be. She was part of Bae's life and that made her part of their family.

Andi was stunned when she learned Belle paid for the dress and offered for her and Mark to pay the Golds back somehow but Belle wouldn't hear of it.

While Belle was driving away from the store she spotted her sister's car parked at Game of Thorns. Marie called late the night before nervous about speaking to their father about her paternity. They talked for several hours, Belle not wiling to hang up until she was certain Marie felt courageous enough to speak to him.

When she walked into the shop Gisella was sitting on the counter in Moe's workroom, chatting away at him while he worked on his floral arrangements.

"Hi, Papa."

"Hi, Belle. Who'd you bring with you?"

"This is Andi. She and Bae are going to the dance together."

"Hello, Mr. French," Andi greeted.

"Hi! I'm Gisella!" the little girl announced. ""You're Bae's gilrfriend, aren't you...you're really pretty."

Andi blushed.

"Gisella!" Marie cried. "I'm sorry, Andi...my daughter has a habit of saying what's on her mind."

"Like her mother and grandmother!" Moe quipped.

"Papa!" Marie cried.

"Well, it's the truth. Your mother was one of the boldest women in the seven kingdoms just like Belle's."

Belle smiled. "I take it your talk went well?"

"You're not angry, Belle?" Moe asked her.

"I had an idea years ago, Papa. I just hope someday you'll tell me what happened back then."

"I promise."

"We both...cried a bit," Marie admitted. "He's always treated me like a daughter, especially after Gaston...and I'm sorry I didn't tell you the truth about that until the day Belle left but I was so glad Rumple got rid of that jerk. He would've treated Belle the way he treated me."

"His son's no better. He's a jerk of the highest order!" Andi raged.

"My mommy says Gaston's a real dick."

Andi burst out laughing.

"Marie, watch your mouth around my granddaughter!" Moe scolded.

"Sorry, Papa."

"You need me to get the Dove, Granpappy?"

"No, that's all right. But if she does it again you can help me put it in her mouth."

"Kay!"

"Marie, I want to bring Andi with us to the salon and spa, you don't mind, do you?"

"Not at all. She'll want to look her best for her hot date!" Marie said with a grin.

"Marie," Moe groaned.

"And we're gonna get our nails done!"Gisella cried.

"Ummm..honey...we'll get your nails done later, okay?" Marie said gently.

"Why! I wanna go now!"

She jumped off the counter and stomped her little feet.

She didn't have the heart to tell her daughter the real reason why she couldn't take her...Gisella couldn't sit still sometimes for the life of her.

"Papa, I'd ask you to watch her while we're gone but I know you have a ton of deliveries today..." Marie began.

"It's all right."

"I could ask Rumple..." Belle offered.

The little girl's eyes lit up. "You mean it? I'd get to see Uncle Rumple? Can I really?"

"I'll call and ask him..." Belle took out her phone and dialed the pawnshop.

"Hello?" Rumple answered the phone.

"Rumple, it's Belle. Two questions: did you get my texts and pictures about Andi...and Marie and I have a favor to ask."

Marie was having a difficult time trying to keep Gisella calm. She was hopping up and down like a rabbit.

"Yes. She looks wonderful in that dress. Bae's going to fall over when he sees her. What do you need? I'm almost done here and was going to head home for lunch."

"Umm...I'm taking Marie and Andi to the salon and the spa and..."

"I WANNA SPEND THE DAY WITH YOU!" Giselle yelled excitedly.

"Oh gods...did you hear that?" Belle asked her husband.

"Gisella, inside voice!" Marie chastised.

"Anyway, we were wondering if you would look after Gisella while we're gone?"

Rumple laughed. "Yes . . . I can."

"Hopefully she'll be a bit..calmer for you."

"You forget, dearie, I dealt with Bae as little boy . . . and he was just as bad some days. Like a rabbit on steroids."

"Well am I gonna go see Uncle Rumple or what?" Gisella demanded.

"Yes, now calm down!" Marie exclaimed.

"All right we'll be right over...and have some nerve pills handy," Belle teased.

"I'll be sure to call Clark's and have them fill my prescription," he returned.

She laughed.

Gisella was still excited during the drive.

"C'mon...we there yet?"

"Is this how all kids act when they're this age?" Belle inquired of her sister.

"Most of them...think of it as preparation for what you will have to deal with."

_Rumple's hair will be white before he's sixty and mine before I'm forty...and we'll both have to check into a mental hospital,_ Belle thought.

As soon as they got to the shop and Marie had her car seat belt unbuckled Giselle was racing toward her uncle.

"Hi, Uncle Rumple! I gets to spend all day with you!"

"Lord give him strength," Marie prayed.

"Hello, imp!" Rumple said, and hugged her. "Are you ready to come home and eat lunch with me and Bae?"

"Uh-huh. What're we havin?"

The kids had half a day at school today, because of standardized testing.

"Well, I was thinking of making grilled cheese with tomato and bacon. Do you like that?" He kneeled down to talk to her.

"Sure...Mommy tries to make it but it sucks..."

"Oh thanks a lot, Gisella!" her mother said with a laugh.

"You kill it. Looks like roadkill."

Marie shook her head. "I tried."

Belle was holding her belly while she laughed.

Rumple's mouth twitched as he valiantly smothered his own laughter. "Err . . .I assure you, Gisella, my grilled cheese does not look like roadkill."

"Papa makes the best grilled cheese," Bae said, coming out of the shop.

"Good cause then I'd havta throw it on the road for the cars to run over!"

"She didn't...did she?" Belle inquired of her sister.

"Oh yes."

Bae cracked up. "Oh my God!"

"Oh you haven't heard the best yet."

"Dare I ask?" Belle giggled.

"You want to tell them about the hot dog incident or should I?"

"You managed to mess up making a hot dog?" Rumple gaped at her.

"Nuh-uh. Mister Fox did." Gisella reported.

"Well him and Zelena..."

"What'd she do, look at it?" demanded Bae.

"Nuh-uh. Mister Fox was cookin' 'em and starin' at Zelena's boobies so he burned it an' nearly burned the place where we were havin' the cookout at down."

Rumple face palmed himself.

Bae almost fell over, he was laughing so hard. "I guess he got really hot under the collar, huh?"

"He was adding more lighter fluid to the grill.." Marie added.

"Imbecile!" Rumple snorted.

"Yeah I tole him I didn't like my hot dogs burnt but he wasn't listening to me so I said next time he burns my hot dog starin' at Zelena's boobies I was gonna burn them!"

Now even Rumple was laughing. "Dearie, you're a trip and a half! Gods help us all!"

"She hates me to this day because of that.." Marie said, brushing tears from her eyes.

"And they aren't even real ones!" Bae sneered. "They're probably implants."

"Baelfire!" Rumple cried.

"What? Just saying."

"Yeah well she's a hobag!" Gisella declared. "That's what I said, Bae and she got real mad an' said when I got big I was gonna have cow udders."

"Well, least they'd be bigger than hers," Bae answered.

Rumple swatted him on the backside. "That's enough!"

"Are you sure she's only five, Marie?"

"Yes Belle, she's five."

Bae rubbed his behind and glared at his father. "Sorry, Papa. But she brought it up."

"And you don't need to continue it, dearie," Rumple hissed in his ear.

"Okay Gisella, we're going to be leaving now but what are my rules for when someone babysits you?"

"No touchin' stuff that doesn't belong to me," she recited.

"And?"

"I havta do what they say cause if not I get a time out and if I'm really bad, a sore butt."

"Right. And...?"

"If I say bad words I gotta taste soap."

"Perfect."

"Boy, does that sound familiar," Bae coughed.

"That's the sign of a good parent Bae," Belle pointed out.

"She has her moments but believe me...she is nothing like them..." Marie said, meaning Gaston and his troublesome son.

"I can handle it, dearie," Rumple assured her. "She's a typical sassy little imp . . . like this one here." He jerked his head at his son. "And we can take Major to the park too after lunch and Bae can show you how he trains Major for the dog agility contests."

"Oooh I wanna see!"

"That's really cool," Bae told her. "I make Major run through an obstacle course, like you see on TV with the canine agility competitions."

"Mr. Gold, Belle...thank you for my dress," Andi was saying, shuffling her feet nervously.

"You're very welcome," Rumple said softly.

"I can't wait to see you in it," Bae said, hugging his girlfriend.

"You gonna kiss her?" Gisella asked.

Both teenagers blushed.

In answer, Andi reached out and kissed Bae briefly on the mouth. "A kiss for luck."

He laughed. "And I'm the luckiest guy ever."

"You didn't give her the tongue!"

Marie's eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets.

Bae and Andi remained with their mouths open.

"G...G...Gisella! Where did you learn THAT?!"

"At the picnic...heard Zelena tellin' Mister Fox that."

Marie groaned. "I am going to kill that woman..."

"That woman needs a permanent lobotomy!" Rumple muttered.

"Freaking ho!" Bae growled.

"You wanna torch her or throw water on her til she melts?" Gisella asked her mother.

"I'd do both . . .and see what's faster," Bae remarked.

Andi knelt and turned to Gisella. "Kiddo, you don't French kiss a guy till you're engaged . . .and gonna be married. Least that's what my mama always told me, God rest her."

"Kay...I won't."

Belle kissed her husband. "Have a good time."

"She'll keep me on my toes," he grinned.

"You didn't do it neither and yous married!"

Marie wanted to crawl in a hole but not before she roasted a certain stripper.

Rumple chuckled. "Minx, you don't do that in public, even if you are married. It's not proper."

"But you can at home? Okay..."

"Rumple, you have some torches around?"

Belle giggled.

"You goin' on a witch hunt, Marie? Count me in!" Bae said.

"Me too!" Andi agreed. "I'll bring my Nerf Supersoaker!"

"Oh, I'd love to but I think Zelena's going to have her hands full enough trying to get Jason back in family court."

"She don't deserve him...she treats him bad… he tole me." Gisella said.

"Yeah we saw what a lousy mom she was, right, Papa?" Bae said heatedly.

Rumple scowled. "Yes . . .he's better off with Regina. She has her faults but she won't harm him like Zelena did."

Marie hugged her daughter goodbye. "We'll be back...you behave or Uncle Rumple has my permission to put you in time out or give you a swat."

"I'll be good."

"C'mon, Gisella. Let's get in the car. I hear that grilled cheese callin' my name," Bae urged, and he took the little girl's hand and led her to where Rumple's Cadillac was parked.

"Be prepared to be dazzled when we get back.." Belle whispered to Rumple.

"I always am," he assured her. Then he limped after the two intrepid cousins. "Okay, and do you want fries or onion straws with your grilled cheese?"

"Ummm...fries please," Gisella answered.

"Me too. Extra crispy," Bae said.

"Yeah I gotta have em stiff..."

Bae giggled.

"I'd say the rest I heard but I'd be tastin' soap, wouldn't I Uncle Rumple?"

"You certainly would," he agreed. "Now let's get you in the car before Bae faints from hunger." He helped her into the back seat and put her seatbelt on.

"You're not gonna faint are you Bae?"

"Nah. He was kidding," Bae laughed. "But Papa might . . . when Mama delivers the baby!"

"I will not!" Rumple argued. "Now hush, Bae, before you're eating a grilled liverwurst sandwich!"

"Ewww...that's gross!"

"Okay! Okay! Can't you take a joke anymore?" his son groaned. "You need to take some PMS pills!"

"Boys don't get PMS," Gisella argued.

"Bae!" Rumple shot him a warning Look.

"I know . . . but he's acting like it," Bae muttered.

"Why?"

"Cause he's lifebonded to my mama," Bae replied. "And he sort of . . .gets symptoms like a woman when she's pregnant."

"Huh? But boys can't have babies less they come out their butts!"

Bae almost died laughing. "We can't have 'em at all!"

"I'm not having the baby, dearie, just having some of the same symptoms Aunt Belle has when she's pregnant," Rumple explained.

"Oh..you mean like you puke and get crabby?"

"Yeah," Bae nodded.

"Umm . . . yes . . ." her uncle replied.

Bae poked Rumple in the shoulder. "How's she know all that, Papa?"

"Exposure, Bae. You forget who she grew up around," Rumple replied. "Little pitchers have big ears and they didn't watch their mouths around her."

"Cause there's this one girl mommy works with..Ashley...we was at that picnic I was tellin' ya about and she was talkin' bout how she didn't like havin' Alex cause it made her miserable."

Bae almost choked. "Ashley . . .Ashley Boyd?"

"Uh-huh. Mommy don't like her. Calls her, Zelena, and the blue creep the three witches."

"They are that, dearie," agreed her uncle. "No better than they ought to be, all of them."

"My mommy's a dancer but the witches are hos cause they take their clothes off."

Bae almost swallowed his tongue.

Marie had always been careful not to let her young daughter find out exactly what she did for a living.

Rumple cleared his throat. "Okay, now let's forget about them and talk about something else. What's your favorite book?"

"Ummm...Mommy reads the fairy tales to me...I like Rumplestiltskin, Beauty an' the Beast an' Sleeping Beauty. But that Rumple's not like you...he's kinda mean."

Rumple smiled. "Yes . . .but he's just a storybook character . . . you know I would never steal children, don't you?"

"Yeah I know."

"But I can spin straw into gold. Perhaps I'll show you after lunch. Before we take Major to the park," he offered, as they pulled up in the driveway.

"I wanna make some to sell so Mommy doesn't have to work for Mister Fox anymore."

Rumple looked at her solemnly. "I could do that," he agreed, though he wondered if Marie would ever take it from him.

"She says she can dance now but when she went to see the dance guy he laughed at her."

"Why, dearie?"

"Umm...he called her a ho but my mommy's not a ho!"

"No . . ." Rumple agreed. He thought perhaps he might have to call in a few favors, because Marie's reputation worked against her here in Storybrooke. Or perhaps he'd have a word with this dance instructor.

"He calls himself Romeo but he's not like the Romeo Mommy likes. He's a jerk!"

Rumple scowled. "He sounds like one. Come on, let's go inside. I hear Major whining already."

"Oooh...Major, I'm heereeee!"

On the other side of the door, they could hear the shepherd go into a paroxysm of barking.

Rumple waved a hand and the door unlocked, allowing Bae to let the dog out to greet them.

Gisella threw her arms around him. "Hey guess what...I get to spend the day with you!"

Major licked her face, wagging his tail.

"Bae said he was gonna show me how you do stuff for doggie contests."

Major whuffed softly.

While the kids played with the dog outside, Rumple went into the kitchen to make lunch.

Gisella was having the time of her life. She thought of Bae as a big brother and wondered what it would be like if her real brother actually liked her.

"You're better brother than the one I'm supposta have."

Bae frowned. "What?"

'"Eti the Yeti..."

Bae gasped. "Etienne Devereaux?!"

"Uh-huh. He's my brother an' calls me a bastard cause his daddy didn't marry my mommy."

Bae hadn't put two and two together before this, but now he did. "Well, he's an asshole!" he snapped before he could think better of it.

"I call him a Yeti cause he's hairy and mean."

"Yeah he is, like his dad!"

"His daddy comes over to the house a lot to yell at mommy to stop asking him for money for me."

_Child support_, Bae thought angrily. _What a douche!_ "He's one too," he sighed.

"I heard her tell him once when he tried to hit her that if he did it again she was gonna tell what he did to her. I dunno what that means but it sounds scary."

Bae's mouth tightened. "It means, kid, he'd be arrested and in the slammer. Which is where scum like him belong."

Major growled.

"Bae...why's Major mad?"

Bae stroked Major's ears. "He's not mad at you. He knows we're talkin' about Gaston and he doesn't like him. Or Eti the Yeti either."

"Can he bite their butts?" She grinned wickedly.

"Yeah, he could."

"That'd be funny. I heard from some kids in the park some boy at the school sang a funny song 'bout Gaston...and it was better n' the one in the movie."

Bae grinned. "Uh . . . that was me. Eti was being a real jerkoff, calling my papa and mama nasty names, so I made up a song about HIS papa to get back at him."

Gisella laughed. "Cool!" she high fived him.

Bae smiled, then he threw the ball for Major a few more times before Rumple called them in for lunch.

"Ooh they don't smell like roadkill!"

"I would hope not," her uncle chuckled. He cut hers in half so she could eat it easier.

She took a bite. "Mmm this is really good!"

"Be careful with the fries, though. They're hot," he warned.

"Toldja Papa makes the best grilled cheese," Bae said, eating his own with relish.

"Yeah I know...burned myself once cause I didn't listen to mommy an touched 'em too early."

"Eat your sandwich first," her uncle said, eating his own.

She frowned. "I really want a daddy who can do all this stuff."

"Perhaps one day your mommy will meet someone who can," Rumple told her.

"I think she likes a guy but he 'nores her like she's not there an' it makes me mad."

"What guy?" asked Bae, eating a fry.

"Ahhh...I dunno his name...I think he goes to Mister Fox's place...I get mad cause he 'nores her but I really don't like him...I like the guy with the spotted doggie better."

"Archie's a good guy," Rumple said. And he would be good for Marie and Gisella.

"He comes over to see Mommy...to talk about stuff...and sometimes she cries but he tells her it's gonna be okay. He lets me play with his doggie while they talk. It's usually after that Gaston shows up and he and Mommy were fighting about how he doesn't give Mommy money for me."

Rumple nodded. He could see the therapist might want to date Marie, but be shy or uncertain about asking her given her current situation. But perhaps he could give the man a nudge in the right direction.

She sniffled. "When I asked Mommy about Mister Hopper being my daddy she says he can't cause people would laugh at him!"

"Not necessarily," Rumple disagreed. Or at least not once she got out of the Foxtrot and into a better job.

"M'sorry!" she wailed, tears trickling down her cheeks.

"For what?" her uncle asked softly.

"Cause I'm ruining lunch with my bawling...That's what Eti The Yeti said when he made fun of us when we were at Grannys and I started crying cause he said mean stuff." Her eyes flashed with anger. "He made Mommy cry too. I hate him!"

"You listen to me, dearie. You can cry any time you want to, and so can your mama, and no one has the right to say you can't. It's a free country. And if that-delinquent doesn't like it, he can shut up!"

"Or you're gonna turn him into a mini yeti and lock him up?"

"Well, I could . . . if he bothers you enough," Rumple hedged. He handed her a napkin. "Here. Dry your eyes and finish your lunch. Would you like more iced tea?"

"Uh-huh. Then can I make some gold for my mommy?"

"Yes, we can."

She dried her eyes and dove into her fries that were cool enough to eat. "Mommy puts that hot sauce on these...I don't like it..."

"I like cheese on mine sometimes, but mostly I eat 'em with ketchup." Bae said.

"You ever eat dirty fries...they have that chili on 'em too."

"Yup." Bae nodded. "An' once I ate 'em with Old Bay seasoning on them. That was good too."

"I like mine with barbecue sauce," Rumple said, dipping his in some.

She glanced over at her uncle. "That cause you havin' those baby things like Aunt Belle?"

"Umm . . . no, I just like them that way," he chuckled. "But sometimes I do crave strange things."

"Like bugs on toast?'

"Gross!" Bae cried.

"No . . . no . . ." Rumple looked ill. "I mean things like . . .ketchup sandwiches and watermelon with pickles."

"Huh? You eat pickles and watermelon at the same time? Where you fit it?"

He chuckled. "Right here," and he patted his stomach.

"You gonna get big like Aunt Belle? I mean she's not big yet but Mommy says she will be."

"Lord, I hope not!" Rumple coughed. "I could gain some weight, but not like that."

"Yeah but it's really cute how you havta go through what Aunt Belle does. Mommy said the boys don't like it an' held a...'vention so you'd quit it and the girls were really mad."

"That's true," Rumple agreed. "But now they know better."

"Cause they hadta sleep out in the doghouse?"

"Yeah they know to mind their own damn business!" Bae declared.

"Bae! Would you like to eat soap?" Rumple asked.

"No. Sorry."

"Yeah, probably," Rumple said.

"Uh oh..."

Gisella finished her meal and hopped off her chair, taking her plate and fork over to the sink.

"Thank you, Gisella," Her uncle said, finishing his own sandwich. "Bae, you want the last one?"

"I sometimes help Mommy wash dishes," Gisella declared.

"That's very responsible of you," Rumple said approvingly. "Bae helps me wash dishes too."

"Shes trying to teach me how to fold clothes but I don't do it right."

"I can show you a few tricks," Bae said. "I'm a champion folder. Learned how from Papa."

He took the last grilled cheese and ate it.

"Cool!"

**Page~*~*~*~Break**

Belle booked them time at Atlantica, the spa owned by Ariel Chanteuse.

The former princess and mermaid, not wanting to forget her oceanic heritage had decorated the spa with a nautical flair that made you feel like you were in the sea complete with ocean sounds to help you relax during a massage.

"Are you having a good time, Andi?" she asked the teenager.

"I know I am," Marie murmured.

Belle was relaxed though she felt her husband gave a far better massage. Of course it often led to them indulging in far more pleasurable activities but she never minded.

"Yes, it's wonderful!" the girl said.

"Good...that way you'll be nice and relaxed for tonight."

"Doctor Hopper was supposed to chaperon tonight too but he declined," Marie said.

"Oh?" Belle wasn't even aware her sister knew the therapist. "Why is that?"

"Umm...there was some ahhh. . . concerns about his companion."

"Dr. Hopper's dating someone?" Andi said. "Do you know who?"

"No, no...just friends..." Marie said quickly. She jumped off her table. "Excuse me..I ahh...need to use the bathroom!"

"What was all that about?" Belle wondered aloud.

Andi shrugged. "I don't know . . ." But she had a suspicion.

Belle frowned. "I haven't been at school...morning sickness has been worse as of late but I haven't heard anything about problems with chaperons for the dance."

"I don't know about that," Andi said. "They don't discuss things like that with us kids."

"No but I know that school and how the teachers gossip, especially Miss Blanchard and Miss Blue."

"Yeah they're the original gossipy housewives, 'cept Blue ain't a wife!"

Unfortunately those two also had a habit of talking when the students were around and rumors spread quickly.

Andi wrinkled her nose. "And the man who'd have her would have to be a saint . . . or crazy."

Belle laughed. "She acts like a saint but she's anything but."

"Yeah, I get that feeling," Andi snorted.

Marie returned from the restroom, her eyes swollen like she'd been crying.

"Belle...I think I should go home..."

"Marie, what's wrong?"

"My whole damned life!" she cried.

Andi was startled. Her nails were almost dry, and had been painted with a special polish that had flecks of silver sparkles and white sparkles and blue sparkles, it was called Chipped Cup.

"It has been ever since that son of a bitch Gaston..."

"You want I should kick his ass for you, Marie?" asked the former Scorpion. "I can, you know. I kicked the crap out of Etienne, the creepy crawly!"

"No...he's not worth the jailtime..." the older woman sniffled.

Andi snorted. "I still have friends from before the curse . . . they'd do it . . .no questions asked . . . and he'd never know . . ."

"Andrielle, don't you even think about it, "Belle scolded. "Do I have to carry bail money for you too?"

In her heart she was tempted to ask her husband to let the Dark One loose for an encore...

"No, ma'am. Besides, Mark would kill me," she sighed. "But it was just a thought."

Seeing Gaston's hide tacked to a wall would be a pleasant sight.

Marie sighed. "All right... the issue was with me. Dr Hopper wanted to take me to the dance but people had an issue with it because of what I do."

"Those hypocrites!" Andi spat. "Mrs. Nolan was having an affair with David during the curse and she went out with Dr. Whale too. And I know there's something fishy with Miss Blue too. She ain't no prize package either!"

"Let's just say I know Miss Blue...that should say it all," Marie said bitterly.

"About Dr . Hopper, Marie...do you like him?" Belle asked.

Andi's eyes widened. "You mean she's . . . I knew it! I knew she was hiding something! Thanks for the info. Next time she gets on her high horse about teaching gang bangers-meaning ME-I'll tell her I know she takes her clothes off for money! We'll see how fast she shuts her mouth!"

Belle laughed. "I should...and I mean should discourage you...but I won't."

They hurt her sister and THAT she couldn't forgive.

"Holier-than-thou twit!" the girl snarled. "At least you have the guts to not pretend to be something you're not. SHE thinks her farts don't stink, the cow!"

"Well even if you can't go to the dance you can still have the perfect evening," Belle declared. Her matchmaker's brain began to work overtime, thinking of how she could get her sister and the doctor together. If she had her way both her son and her sister would have their true loves.

"Yeah, you don't need to be at some dance where half the guys are gonna try and cop a feel off their dates or ogle some other guy's date and get punched out," Andi said. "And then there's the ones who're gonna try and sneak booze and drugs into the dance too."

"There'll be none of that with Rumple on duty!"

"Good!" Andi said. "Because I heard a few rumors to that effect today."

"Oh have you? Well we'll see about that!" She sent a text to her husband.

**We have kids who will try to sneak things into the dance tonight...**

"Yeah. Some dweebettes were talkin' about how they were gonna trick you guys .. . by putting booze in a bottle of ginger ale and saying they needed it cause their date was sick with nerves or something."

She put that on her next message. **Do they think you just got off the boat?**

**Of course, dearie. They're teenagers, they think they've invented all the ways to trick stupid adults . . . but they forget . . . we were kids too once . . . and everything they think they invented, we did first. Or know someone who did.**

**Oh and your nose is growing...Happen to have firsthand experience , darling?**

**One of my fellow apprentices took a bottle of some kind of crackerjack medicine . . . it was more than half alcohol . . . make that all alcohol . . .and got all of us drunk by telling us it was cold medicine . . .Master Merril nearly skinned him alive when he found out . . .**

**Turned out Silas knew the medicine was fake . . . his papa was the one peddling it . . .**

**. . .and he wanted us all to get dismissed so he'd be the master's only apprentice . . .and not have any competition, especially from me.**

**Why am I not surprised? Oh...and we have another task tonight. Do you know my sister is interested in Dr. Hopper?**

**Yes. Gisella mentioned that she wished he was her daddy and he comes over sometimes to comfort her mama when she's upset about that prick Gaston, who owes her child support.**

**He** **wanted her to go to the** **dance but she can't...what if we arranged for them to have a quiet evening at the cabin?**

**Sure, we can. It's stocked with groceries and drinks from last time. And wine, since we didn't drink any.**

**We can have Papa watch Gisellla.**

**You ask Moe yet?**

**I will.**

**Good.**

**And we need to see about getting that child support.**

**Say the word, dearie, and I'll haul his scummy ass into court with a suit against him.**

**You won't be too busy...we have Ashley's hearing coming up and the Muffet divorce.**

**No. I'm betting I can get Boyd's attorney to plea bargain without going to trial because she can't afford the scandal. And the Muffets . . .they might wish to settle out of court, it's cheaper.**

**Gaston will not be easy...he'll drag Marie through the mud.**

**And we'll drag him right along with her! It takes two to tango and he took advantage of her by using his position as a noble to force his way into her bed, or I'm no spinner! He forgets, in this country, no one will give him right for rape . . .and it's a crime here. Unlike back home, where nobles doing that to serving wenches is considered acceptable by most of his class.**

**But since it happened there will that...complicate things?**

**Not if he brings it up . . . past history is still relevant . . . and we can do or have him do, a paternity test to prove that Gisella is his child . . .and we'll have you and Moe as witnesses to testify against his character and all of us were there when Marie told us she was ruined by him. He wants to play hardball, Belle, he'd better be prepared for me to hand him his balls!**

She laughed out loud.

"Are you sexting over there, Belle?" Marie inquired.

"What? No! We're discussing some things."

**Marie** **thinks we're sexting!**

**Gods and hells! Tell her she has a dirty mind! And you don't need to be typing in order to get what you need . . . you can just come home.**

**An hour more darling...**

**Going to the park with the little minx and Bae and Major. Gonna brush Maj up on his agility skills.**

**All right see you soon. I love you.**

**Love you too! Hurry home!**

"You are!" Marie accused.

"Oh get your mind out of the gutter. Andi, what time do you want us to pick you up tonight or do you want to get ready at our house?"

"Uh . . . would you mind if I came over? So you could help me with my makeup? I'm all thumb with that . . .there's not much call for a ganger to wear stuff like that . . . and the girls that did, looked like they put it on with a trowel. And I was too young to wear any back in our old world, my papa said."

"I'd love to...and Marie, you're coming too."

"To the dance? But I..."

"No, you and Archie are going to the cabin."

Andi began to hum the song Matchmaker from Fiddler on the Roof.

"But...Gisella?"

"Papa can watch her."

"Don't you think you should ask him first? What about me and Dr. Hopper? What if he says no!"

"Belle's the matchmaker of Storybrooke," Andi giggled. "He'd not dare!"

"I don't know if I can..."

"You've been alone with him before, haven't you?"

"Yes, but with Gisella there. This is COMPLETELY ALONE."

"Why is that a problem?"

"What if he wants to...?"

"On your first official date? He's not the type."

"Oh gods..."

"Marie, come on...take a chance...please?"

"O...Okay but if he says no I'm saying I told you so."

"I think you should," Andi said softly. "Dr. Hopper's a gentleman, not like Gaston, for all he's got blue blood. Archie's like Rumple, class act. Gaston's the type you'd find in any lowlife dive on the docks."

"All right...I'll call Papa and see if he'll watch Gisella."

"Now who is a matchmaker, Andi?" Belle teased the teenager.

"Well, my papa used to say that being noble wasn't about birth, but behavior. He said how you acted showed your true nobility, and if you behaved like a scoundrel than that was what you were, no matter if you were the king of the land."

"Well tonight you are going to be a princess. C'mon, let's get back to the house...the boys are getting impatient."

Andi touched her newly styled hair. "Do you think this looks okay?"

"It looks beautiful, sweetie. And I have a tiara at home that will go perfectly with it."

It was the same one her wedding veil had been attached to.

"Thanks, Belle. My mama had stuff like that . . .before . . ."

"So did I but this is a special one. My husband made it himself and I know he would want you to wear it tonight.

"Rumple made it?" Andi gasped. "Oh, but I couldn't . . ."

"I insist!"

"Okay."

On the way home they stopped at Mallory's to pick up a dress for Marie.

Like her sister she would wear a replica of one of Princess Diana's famed gowns. The one she chose was a 1985 Victor Edelstein dress that the princess wore during her famous dance with John Travolta.

When they got back to the house, they found the boys with Gisella and Major in the backyard.

"We're home!" Belle called out.

Rumple turned around. "Well, look at you bevy of beauties!"

"If it isn't my sexy beast..." she murmured, kissing him.

He kissed her back. "Hey, dearie, control yourself. There's children!" he quipped.

"Yes, get a room!" Marie scolded. "But..if there weren't kids around I'd take him right here, Belle."

"You'd have to fight her for me!" Rumple giggled. "And she'd win."

"Oh I know that...I was suggesting she have her way with you."

"There's rocks in the grass. I'd have to use magic to make a bower," he joked.

"Save that thought...for after the dance..."

"You're going to need the blue pills soon, Rumple!" Marie joked.

"Oh, no he doesn't!"

"What's a blue pill?" asked Gisella.

"Umm...errr...never mind honey."

Bae was studying Andi. "Wow! I like your hair."

"Thanks." Her platinum blond hair was free of blue streaks now and some was piled artfully atop her head in neat braids. The rest was left to cascade down her back like a silvery waterfall.

Belle watched them with a smile. "I'm going to let her borrow my tiara tonight. You don't mind, do you?"

"No, of course not. She'll look lovely in it."

"Operation True Love is going well so far."

Rumple chuckled. "It would seem so. Now I think I'd better take a shower, because I'll be quicker than you."

She swatted him. "Next time I'm flushing the commode and freezing you!"

"Hey! That was an accident! It was reflex!"

"Why not just go in with him, Belle? I would?" Her sister smirked.

"Marie!"

Rumple shook a finger at her. "Now don't be giving her any ideas. We need to get ready to go out, dearie."

"So...you have time to squeeze in a quickie."

Belle shook her head. "Poor Archie.."

"I don't talk like this around him...might scare him off."

"I don't do them, dearie. I like to take my time and enjoy myself."

"I don't know what that's like," Marie confessed.

"You need to find out," Rumple said.

Belle patted her hand. "It'll be fine...just take it slow, Marie. "

"Mommy, are you gonna get Mister Hopper to be my daddy?"

"We're just going out on a date, Sella..."

"Yeah but you can get married after you date...lookit Uncle Rumple and Aunt Belle."

"What do you say we help Mommy get ready for her date, and me and Andi for the dance?"

"Okay!" the little girl squeaked.

While Rumple was in the shower, the girls gathered in the guest bedroom.

Belle had Andi put on something called Bare Minerals, which was makeup that looked natural and made your skin glow.

She put some on herself and also had Marie use some.

"Beautiful!" Belle said. "See? It's enough without being too much."

"Better than the stuff they make us wear the Foxtrot," Marie said.

Belle shuddered. "You might as well be wearing greasepaint."

She carefully outlined Andi's eyes with blue eyeliner.

Marie put on some light mascara and touched up her lips with something called Champagne Blush lipgloss.

Gisella grabbed one of the lipstick tubes and tried putting some on.

"Lookit me, Mommy!"

"Gisella!" She had lipstick on her cheeks and chin.

Andi started laughing.

"But I wanna be pretty too!"

"Yes but what did I say about touching things that aren't yours?"

"Not to."

Marie cleaned her daughter up and looked through the fragrance bottles on the dressing table, unable to decide which one she wanted.

"All the stuff they make me wear at the Foxtrot makes me look and smell like a tart. Which one turns Rumple's head, Belle?"

Belle picked up a small crystal bottle. "He likes them all, but this one is his favorite. Honey Rose Serenade."

"Do you wear it to bed?" she whispered.

Her sister smirked. "Not telling!"

"I could ask your husband you know. What's he wear?"

"My favorite of his is something called Spicy Rum."

Marie laughed. "Oh and isn't THAT fitting."

"And what's even more fitting . . . he created it to wear on our wedding night."

"Mmmmmm...you didn't give me enough details about that, sister dear."

"It was a letter . . . someone could have read it," Belle laughed.

"I burned it afterwards!"

"Tell you what. I'll make you a deal. I'll tell you more about our wedding night . . . if you tell me how the date goes with Archie." Belle bargained.

"Deal!"

"Okay." Belle shook her hand. "Now let's get dressed."

While the others were dressing, Gisella trotted down the hall to Belle and Rumple's room. She was bored.

"Uncle Rumple...? You in here?"

Rumple was just coming out of the bathroom. "Gisella! Gods!" He quickly wrapped the towel more securely about his waist.

"Ummm...why you half-naked?"

Rumple felt himself blush all the way to his feet. "Minx. . .I just took a shower."

"Okay. But I'm bored!"

Rumple thought fast. "Okay . . . then why don't you color in this?" He conjured a coloring book for her. "This is a magic color book." It was filled with fairy tale people and scenes. "Meaning when you color a picture, it'll come alive and project itself onto the table for a few moments."

"Oooh cool!"

"Here's some crayons." He conjured those also, a huge box of 64 colors. "Now scoot, minx. I have to get dressed."

"Kay cause I not 'llowed to see your butt or your winkie!"

"No . . .you're not!" Rumple agreed, and hid a snicker. _Gods, Hopper, but she's either gonna make you drop dead of laughter or embarrassment, and it'll be a toss up!_

She skipped down the hall singing the Beauty and the Beast song.

Rumple grinned as he shut the door. Now it was time for the Beast to get ready for the ball, he thought.


	13. Wonderful Tonight

**13**

**Wonderful Tonight**

**A/N: we don't own The Kilt Song by Aly Macrae**

The women were waiting a bit impatiently downstairs for Bae and Rumple to come down.

Marie was laughing. "Isn't it us that's supposed to be fashionably late?'

Even little Gisella was whining. "I wanna see Uncle Rumple's monkey suit 'fore I leave with Granpappy. HURRY UP UNCLE RUMPLE! " she bellowed. "While I's still young!"

They all burst into laughter.

"That's my girl," Marie said proudly.

Major cocked his head and barked lightly.

Gisella started tapping her foot. "Kay if you don't come down I'm comin up there and I'll bring you down even if you're naked!"

"Oh God...Marie...she's worse than WE are!" Belle giggled.

"I don't think so, kid!" Bae called down, as he started down the stairs. "I had trouble with my tie. So sue me!"

"You're not worth the court fees, dearie!" His father laughed as he followed right behind him.

"I'm gonna and I'm gonna make you pay big bucks and no whammies!"

Belle meanwhile was speechless as she stared at her husband. Seeing the suit in the shop had only been the tip of the iceberg. She had to wonder where a bucket of ice water was when she needed it...not that she wanted to cool down. Oh God...I could melt in a puddle at his feet...

"Damn, girl . . .why can't he clone himself?" Marie hissed.

Must...not...ravish...him, Belle was chanting in her head.

"Mine..." she purred aloud.

Andi was having the same trouble looking at Bae. Her green eyes were alight like a tree on Christmas morning. _Oh God . . .I want to shove him against the wall and kiss him senseless . . .and right in front of his parents too!_

Little Gisella was confused. Everyone was acting so weird. So they were all dressed up. What was the big deal?

"Andi . . . you look . . . um . . .fantastic!" Bae blurted, coming to hand her a white carnation and blue rose corsage. "And here's some flowers."

Entwined between the flowers was a blue butterfly necklace.

"Oh! It's beautiful!" she exclaimed.

"Here," he said, undoing the pendant. "I'll put it on. It's sapphires. Papa helped me pick it out."

Belle was drawn out of her reverie watching with pride as her son presented his love with his gift.

She quickly dug into her purse for her phone to snap a picture when he placed the pendant around Andi's neck.

Andi smiled. Bae was so thoughtful . . and he also remembered that the butterfly, along with an oak tree was the symbol of her once noble family. Strength, hope, and beauty, she chanted.

_I am the last lady of Avignon . . .until Bae marries me_, she thought with pride. If he does.

"It's beautiful, Andi!" Belle whispered. "And what a lovely symbol for your family."

The girl's eyes glistened with tears. "My mom . . , used to tell me of the legend of the blue swallowtail . . . and how it was the messenger of hope . . . a magic butterfly that blessed its chosen with love . . .I didn't remember that when we were cursed, but I do now."

"And now it's blessed you..."

"Yeah, it has." She smiled at Bae as he put his arm around her. "I've got the handsomest guy in the whole school tonight . . . excepting Mr. Gold."

Belle turned back to her husband. "And the other women can keep their hands off because they're ours..."

"You guys gonna make out now? M'gonna havta leave the room if you do that," Gisella blurted.

Rumple tweaked her nose. "No, minx. We'll save that for later." He eyed his wife appreciatively, suddenly wishing the night were over. He loved her dress, it made her look like a princess, but he would have loved better taking it off her. "You look dazzling, sweetheart." He took her right hand and kissed it, like an old fashioned gentleman.

"Why thank you..." she cooed and curtseyed.

"Do you think Archie will be as speechless?" Marie asked nervously.

"Yes, he will be," Rumple assured her. "The man doesn't get out much on dates . . .his jaw's going to hit the floor when he sees you."

"Oh I hope so."

They heard a knock at the door. "Rum, Belle?"

"It's Granpappy!" Gisella said excitedly.

"Come in!" Rumple called.

Moe had his camera in his hands. "You all look great. Now hold still while I get some pictures...get in there with them, Gisella," the florist instructed.

Bae put a hand on her shoulder. "Hold still, jack rabbit!"

"Perfect!" Moe took five pictures of them as a group, one with Belle, Marie and Gisella one of each of the couples and one with just Gisella, Bae and Major.

"I passed Archie's car on the way here, Marie."

She gulped.

"You'll do fine," Belle encouraged.

Marie was close to collapsing when she heard a car door shut.

A few moments later, there came a knock on the door.

"Oh God..." she moaned.

Gisella ran to the door and threw it open, yelling, "Mommy, your date's here!"

Archie blushed and said, "Hello, Gisella. You're like the town crier." He was dressed in a very nice tailored mocha suit that set his hair off perfectly.

She wanted to sink into the floor. This would be a disaster. Still she couldn't deny he looked stunning in his mocha suit. It was the color she thought he looked best in though she dared not say it aloud.

"You all look incredible," the therapist said, looking at the Golds and Andi. "But especially . . ." then he caught sight of Marie . . . and his fine speech deserted him. "Oh!"

"I look terrible, don't I?" Marie croaked. I overdid it, she thought. She backed away ready to run to the farthest corners of the earth. He was referring to Belle not her...she should've expected that.

"Terrible? No . . .no, you look . . .beautiful!" he assured her. "Like a queen . . .I . . .I had this . . .wonderful speech prepared and when I saw you I forgot everything."

"Y...You...had a speech prepared...for me?"

"Umm . . . yes . . .I did . . .err . . . maybe I could recite it for you . . .in the car?" he blushed.

Marie smiled. "If you'd like to."

"Granpappy, take a picture with Mommy an' Mister Hopper!"

Belle had her own camera ready.

"You heard her, Papa," she prodded.

"All right you two...pose for my granddaughter and smile!"

Archie was beaming and wondering when he was going to wake up from the lovely dream he was having.

Marie was terrified this was all a fantasy and when she blinked her eyes it would be gone. He would be gone. She would just have to enjoy it while it lasted...

Moe snapped several pictures with his camera, thinking how lovely his daughter looked. And how she had captivated the man beside her . . .just like her mother had done so long ago to him.

"Okay Gisella, you be good for Granpappy and we'll be by to pick you up later."

"Okay." She threw her arms around her mother.

She was hoping soon she would have a real daddy.

She then approached Archie. "You take care of Mommy or I'll kick ya when I see ya!"

"Gisella!"

But Archie was not put off by the child's attitude. "I promise I will take the best care of her," he said solemnly. "So you can forget about injuring me, okay?"

"Okay!" The little girl sought out Rumple next.

"Gotta go with Granpappy now...see ya later alligator!"

Rumple laughed. "You are too much! Be good and I'll see you soon."

He hugged her.

She then hugged her aunt. "Don't be havin your baby yet...wanna see it."

"You have a little time to wait for that," Belle giggled.

"Like months!" laughed Bae. "High five, Gisella."

She jumped up and smacked her hand against his.

"No givin Andi the tongue Bae or your daddy's gonna ground you for a month an' make you eat liverwurst!"

"I...am..going to...KILL Zelena!" Marie muttered.

"Okay . . .I'll remember . . .!" Bae smirked. "And don't forget to take your magic coloring book."

"Can I watch..ooohhh wee ooohh...burrrnnnn the witch!" Gisella grabbed her magic coloring book and tucked it into her bag.

Belle and Marie had tears in their eyes from laughing.

Gisella high fived Andi. "If Bae doesn't act like a nice guy...you can kick him in the nuts."

"Gisella..." Marie moaned, shaking her head. The things that child said sometimes...

Andi laughed. "Bae's always nice to me. It's other guys I have to worry about."

"Well kick 'em anyhow...BYEEEEE!"

"Have a good time," Moe said to the group and followed his granddaughter out to the car.

Archie waved as they left. Then he took Marie's arm. "Shall we?"

"Yes..."

She wondered if he would still make the speech he claimed to have prepared for her. She'd heard men speak sweet nothings before, Gaston being the worst of them...right before he make it clear he was only interested in what he could get out of her. And he'd given her a brutal lesson on how dangerous the male of the species could be...

"Have a good time!" Belle called to them.

"Come on, let's get in the car. We don't want to be late," Rumple urged, and waved Bae and Andi out the door before escorting his wife out. "Major, guard!" he instructed the shepherd.

Major went on alert and watched as his family left the house, then sat in the middle of the foyer, listening and watching for any intruders.

Gold's wards would normally keep away any evil presence or magical creature or spell, but sometimes had trouble detecting more mundane threats. But Major would take care of those, as he had been trained to do.

"Ready to do some searching tonight, Rumple? These kids will sneak their goods in any way they can," Belle muttered.

"They can try, dearie. It won't work."

"Betcha Eti the Yeti tries something," Bae snorted

"Of course he will," Andi agreed. "He thinks he can do whatever he wants."

"Mr. Hale was fit to be tied a whole back when he held locker inspections and found three with bongs in them!"

"And whose were they?" asked Andi.

"One of them belonged to Mr. Hale's own son...that's why he was so enraged."

"What a dope!" Bae coughed. "I told Marty a long time ago not to hang around Etienne and those other jerks. But he didn't listen to me."

" And that's why your father was so mad after you were caught smoking in the bathroom." Belle reminded. "He didn't want you getting involved in that too!"

Bae sighed. "I wouldn't have been. I only did that because of a dare."

"I'm glad your papa straightened you out, Fire. Cause I don't date guys who smoke anything." Andi said.

"Good for you," Belle said softly.

Though she knew they had to keep a watchful eye out for rowdy teenagers, Belle was looking forward to sharing a dance or two with her husband.

Rumple was also looking forward to it, for he could still do slow dances, even with his lame leg.

Bae was praying he remembered all the steps to the dances Belle and Rumple had shown him and didn't step on Andi's feet.

Andi fingered her butterfly pendant nervously and hoped she didn't make a laughingstock out of herself by tripping over her own feet.

Belle had been a chaperon at several dances and knew what was expected of her only this time she wouldn't be miserable knowing she finally had a companion. Sometimes she sat alone at her table and watched the young couples dancing around her feeling that the man she was meant to dance with was out there..somewhere.

And as fate would have it, not too long after that the man she'd been calling and waking up at six am every morning for the last twenty-eight years to vent about something wrong in her apartment was the one she was looking for the whole time.

After the curse was broken she remember who he truly was to her...not the cold landlord who called her his least favorite pain in the ass...but her true love...Rumplestiltskin.

Recalling those times made her chuckle.

Rumple pulled into the parking lot using the space for faculty, since Belle was a teacher. The building was lit up not only because the junior high dance was going on in the gym, but also because the kindergartners were putting on a school play in the auditorium.

"Okay, dearies, the coach has arrived!" Rumple announced as they all got out.

'"Even if those kids try something stupid...at least I'm not here alone now," Belle said softly.

"No . . . and if they do, they'll find themselves banned from the dance and sent home and Mr. Hale will be informed," Rumple said firmly.

"Be careful, Rumple. The girls have habit of hiding things in places you don't want to look."

"My magic will look for me," he answered.

Her eyes flashed with anger as she recalled an incident in the Dark Castle involving a witch she and her sister both wanted to massacre.

"Tell that to Zelena," she grumbled. "You don't remember...do you? I didn't forget."

"Let's not discuss her right now." Rumple said darkly. His memories of the girl who was his first apprentice since Cora were not fond ones.

"I'm sorry, darling. I'm being your least favorite pain in the ass again, aren't I?'

He slanted her a glance. "Not yet, but if you keep bringing her up you will be."

"All right...how about I call you at 6am to wake you up?" she teased.

Not that she had to...all she had to do was roll over and right there he was.

"I turned the phone off," he joked.

"Besides...I think you like your wakeup calls a lot better now..."

"I'd say so. Now I get woken up with a kiss instead of a virago screeching in my ear-Mr. Gold, my faucet's leaking!"

"I think my favorite was the shower one...and you accused me of timing it perfectly that you used your passkey right as I was getting out of the shower." She smirked. ""Nice try dearie, but putting yourself on display won't get me to replace your shower door'."

It was the very day he brought Bae into the school, the day his own memories returned.

Gold chuckled. "I was used to dealing with Ashley . . .who would take everything off if a man looked at her a certain way."

"I was impressed...you actually looked and that was before you remembered who I was."

"You were still the same woman, then and now. I couldn't help myself," he admitted.

They were almost to the doors when they heard a mocking voice call, "Hey Gold...what's the idea of dressing like your old man? Trying to grow old before your time!"

"Son of a bitch..." Belle cursed.

Etienne approached the group with a girl on his arm wearing the very same Jessica Rabbit dress Belle and Andi saw in Tiana's shop that revealed more of her than it did when Andi tried it on.

"Should've dyed his hair to match," the teenager went on, laughing.

"Oh and look Eti...it's the knocked up gold digger too. Bet they used the old turkey baster method."

"Yeah since he can't get it up. Hey Andi...nice dress...how long you have to be on your back to pay for it?"

"You do the old man too?" his girlfriend added.

"Belle, do you hear something squawking?" Gold drawled.

"Why, yes, Rumple, I do."

"Sounds like a turkey. All noise and no sense." He deliberately walked past the two teens on the sidewalk, ready to head into the building, giving them the ice cold treatment, though he longed to turn them into frogs.

Bae looked over to see his nemesis, Etienne, standing on the sidewalk, dressed in a flashy white suit that set off his tanned skin and dark hair perfectly. And his date was Savannah Harte, one of the prettiest—and snottiest—girls in school.

Andi's eyes flashed. "Figures you'd think that, Savannah Does Storybrooke High!" she spat. "How much did Eti pay you for going and coming, you tart?"

"Least I know how...VIRGIN!"

"You forget, Andi, he schedules by the hour, like any good pimp!" Bae shot back.

"Or did the Golds pop your cherry?" Savannah sneered.

"Probably can't find it!" Etienne taunted.

"Well we all know Eti wasn't YOUR first because you've done the whole school!" Andi growled.

"Having trouble like your dad, Devereaux?" sneered Bae. "Maybe you ought to eat some pickles and quit playing with it."

"Oh like you didn't do a little gang banging? C'mon. You act like a virgin but I bet you spread 'em for the whole crew."

"Nice fantasy, tart cart," Andi snapped. "You know, the Foxtrot's hiring. Better go put in your resume, Harte. And here's what it says-I do them ALL, any way, every way, and all ways!"

"Least I don't do little boys and old men!" She glanced over at Belle. "Getting lessons off her? She screws monsters."

Belle wanted to slap the smirk right off that teenage tramp's face.

"Like your mama?" Andi sneered. "I heard she did ogres. When everybody else was running away from them, she was running towards them and screaming T-o-o-thy! Stick it in right here, you beast!"

"You shut up about my mama! Least she never needed to worry 'bout one of 'em dropping dead of a heart attack on top of you or getting off too soon!"

"Oh, you'd know, right? That's what happened to the last four you did!" Andi replied.

"They were just tryouts...I go for the finishers."

"Then what are you doing with HIM?" Bae growled. "Trying him out? Don't blame you. Flashy model, no stamina and no class."

"Better than you...needledick!" Etienne laughed again. "And a hairy ass!"

Belle looked up at her husband. She knew they had to put a stop to this soon before it got out of hand but she was enjoying hearing her son and Andi let those two idiots have it.

"You bray like one, you act like one, and you sure as hell smell like one! When was the last time you took a bath, Devereaux, during Genesis?" returned Bae. "No wonder why all the girls faint at your feet! It's like the stench of twenty thousand tombs!"

"You and your old man even know what a bath was before he became the big bad Dark One, shitface?"

Savannah giggled. "They probably named their fleas."

"I knew long before you did, you noble dick! And at least I didn't get favors by having to kiss my dad's ass, or screwing every woman that looked at me." Bae glared at Savannah. "Oh, is that one crawling in your hair? Oh my God! Call an exterminator! Etienne's dog's got FLEAS!"

"Must be her wig, Bae!" Andi hooted. "You know that hairdo's not natural!"

"Oh funny..here's a better one. That kid your mom's having...is it his or yours...?"

"Of all the vile, disgusting..." Belle snarled.

"Why don't you ask yourself that question, dearie?" Gold broke in. "IF you even know the answer!"

"Ooohhh so the little coward actually has a voice...I'm impressed." She sauntered up to him. "Soooo Mr Gold...you have to do a little magic so that dick of yours can actually work or do you let your son do the job for you? You have to pick virgins cause you can't handle a real woman..." She practically thrust her cleavage in his face.

"Don't waste your breath, dearie. Not interested in teenage hookers. You've got nothing I want to see and plenty I don't need to catch." He looked her up and down with a sneer that said she was dirt and where the hell was a broom?

"Not what Zelena says..."

"If you're taking lessons from that little witch, dearie, you need to go back and study some more. Oh, and by the way, take the bottle of vodka out of your bra . . .it's leaking."

"Oh...shit!"

Belle laughed. "I thought for a minute she was lactating."

Gold waved a hand and the bottle was levitated out of her dress . . .almost taking the dress with it. Then his eyes became icy cold. "Now children . . .go home and tell your papa to beat you for your stupidity in thinking you could trick the Dark One!"

"And while you're at it...we'll take the bag of marijuana too." Belle pointed to a bulge near her waistline.

"Fuck!" Savannah cursed. She handed it over to Belle.

"Maybe you ought to strip search Devereaux, Papa. God knows what he's shoved up there," Bae sneered.

"You can't do that! I'll sue you!"

"Wanna make a bet?" Rumple growled.

"Not before we sue you and that deadbeat father of yours first!" Belle snarled.

"Hand it over, boy!" Rumple barked. "Or else all those kids watching from the windows are going to have something else to talk about besides a silly song!

"Bring it on, limp dick!"

"Very well. You asked for it." Rumple said. He gestured.

Etienne's pants suddenly fell down, revealing his tie dye boxers . . . and the bag of cocaine strapped to them.

"Oh my GOD!" one of the other girls screeched. "Tie dye! That is SO OLD!"

Gold picked it up. "Let's see-possession of an illegal substance, attempt to sell said substance on school property . . .insulting an official chaperone . . . that's three counts right there . . .enough to get you sent to Boston Pen after juvie . . ."

"Oh my God...Becky! Look at his butt..it's so...SMALL!" yelled a petite girl in a fine green dress accompanied by a sweet looking brown-haired young man in a killer tux to her friend next to her.

"Wow...it's like there's nothing there, Kat...what's he do... pad his footballs tights?" Becky laughed. Next to her was her date, a handsome boy in traditional Scottish dress.

"Maybe he needs Viagra!" sneered the girl in the green gown.

"No wonder Vannah does Storybrooke!"

"Hey Bae, sing the song!" encouraged the young man in the tux.

Bae started singing the Gaston song . . .and the others quickly joined in.

"You little fuckers! You wait...I'll get all of you!" Etienne yowled.

"Oooo, look out, Becky, the Yeti's coming! Better get out the shotgun!" Kat gasped.

"Shootgunnnn...shoot em fore he run now!" Becky sang, an oldie her mother listened to.

"Run away, run away, down the old valley road . . . with his ass hanging out through a hole he mis-sewed!" her friend sang.

"Fuck you, you ugly bitches!"

"You wanna repeat that asswipe?" growled Ewan, Becky's boyfriend.

"Oh honey . . . you shouldn't talk bout yourself that way! You'll give yourself a complex! Like herpes!" Kat sneered, tossing her head.

"Shut up, skirtboy! Look at that..Ewan's wearin' a skirt." Etienne hooted.

"It's a KILT you stupid shit!" Bae yelled.

Ewan McCleod was one of his best friends and an ex member of the Scorpions.

"He failed World History . . .only passed cause he tol' Miss Blue to meet him in the lounge after the school closed!" the boy in the tux reminded them.

Etienne tried to pull up his pants only they wouldn't go up. "What the...you asshole!"

A crowd gathered and they were all laughing.

"You've been weighed, you've been measured . . . and you've been found wanting!" crowed Robert, Kat's boyfriend.

Ewan high fived him.

"Oh Mommy dear, see here, see here, I've lost my dick and don't know where to find him!" Kat giggled.

"Oh my God... I'm dying over here..." Becky giggled.

"Savannah knows!" Andi commented. "She sold it on ebay . . .world's smallest pecker!"

"We should call him Woody No Pecker!"

Bae began laughing like the famous cartoon bird.

Etienne glared daggers at the assembled group.

"Master of the house! Quick to catch 'er eye! Never let's a pretty girl pass him by!" sang Laura. "Thinks he's quite a lover . . . but there ain't that much there!"

"All right Etienne, Savannah...out of here, NOW!" snapped Belle.

"All right, you desperate knocked up bi-" Savannah began.

"Finish that sentence, dearie and I'll do to you what your father should have done four years ago-I'll take you across my knee right here and now and paddle your butt so hard you won't be sitting for a month!" Rumple growled, his eyes glittering.

Savannah shrank from him, fear in her eyes.

"Do it, Mr. Gold!" Bobby cried. "Whip her ass like a naughty two year old brat!"

"Yeah...blister his fat arse too!" added Ewan.

Etienne backed away, his pants still around his ankles. "I'll sue you! I'll sue all of you!" he babbled.

"Daddy! BOO HOO! They're being mean to me, Daddy!" Kat pretended to wipe tears from her eyes. "I'm telling. Bwahhahha!"

Bae was laughing so hard he was afraid he'd pee himself.

"Better run, Devereaux! Cause Mr. Gold's coming for ya! With the chainsaw! Ahhaahhahhaa!" cackled another girl.

"Ooohh! The chainsaw! Like oh my Gawd! Didja cut it off?"

"C'mon Eti...let's go and have our own party. Fuck these losers."

"That's what you do, sugah!"

The pair stormed off.

The other teens gathered started clapping.

Belle linked her arm through her husband's. "Shall we?"

"Let's."

They processed into the gym, accompanied by the five couples and Bae and Andi. Rumple and Belle stationed themselves by the doors, and checked everyone who came in. No one was allowed to bring any food or drinks or containers into the gym and Belle checked all the girls' purses and evening bags.

Rumple cast a simple spell that let him know if anyone had hidden contraband on them.

They confiscated a few packs of cigarettes, three bottles spiked with vodka or rum, another three bags of marijuana and one more bag of cocaine.

Belle noted who they were so she could tell Mr. Hale on Monday. Those who were carrying drugs and alcohol were told firmly to leave, no arguments.

"Good Lord, Rumple...what is wrong with these kids!"

Rumple sighed. "They're a lot bolder and wilder than when they lived back in our old realm. And I don't know who to blame-the way this world exposes them to things . . .their parents not keeping a tighter rein on them . . . or the curse."

"Well our children sure as hell won't be doing any of that!"

"No, indeed. Bae knows better than to even try . . .and so will this one. Nor would any of my children ever address an adult the way those two little cretins did outside."

"I don't think we've seen the last of them."

"I fear you're right. They're trouble with a capital T."

"Using all this magic isn't draining you, is it?"

"No. I've a few baubles-like my ring here-" he wiggled his finger upon which he wore a smoky blue cabochon. "-that store magical power, and I can use it to help me."

This year's theme was called Midnight Enchantment with the ceiling of the gym decorated like a starry sky under a half moon.

While the kids were dancing, the photographer asked the chaperones to pose for pictures for the yearbook under the star archway.

Belle stood beside Rumple and smiled delightedly. Despite the rocky start to the evening outside, she was enjoying this dance.

Later on she would ask the DJ to play their song for one of the slow dances.

Everything seemed to be going well, the kids were too busy dancing or wandering from table to table to chat to get involved in any mischief.

They would each have a souveneir of the night in the form of a champagne glass with the name of the dance's theme and the date

The DJ played a mix of 70's, 80's, and 90's tunes. First they rocked out to Van Halen's Dreams and then he played a set of Def Leppard tunes-Hysteria, Animal, and Pour Some Sugar on Me.

Bae soon found he wasn't as nervous as he thought once he got out on the floor and started dancing with his friends and Andi. Ewan was a former Scorpion and Bobby was an ex-Purple Knight, an ally of his gang.

"Hey, Ewan!" Bae said after the last set had finished. "I dare you to sing the kilt song, laddie!"

"Ummm your dad might throw a fit..."

"C'mon, do it!" Becky encouraged.

"He'll get over it," Bae laughed.

"I wanna hear it!" Kat encouraged.

"Do it, man!" Bobby agreed.

"Hey Bobby...you wanna sing it together..."

"Yeah, why not . . .?"

"Ohhhhhh A Scotsman clad in kilt left the bar one evening fair

And one could tell by how he walked he'd drunk more than his share

He staggered on until he could no longer keep his feet

Then stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.

Ring ding diddle diddle i de o Ring di diddle i o He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street. Later on two young and lovely girls just happened by,

And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye

You see yon sleeping Scotsman who is young and handsome built

I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath their kilt.

Ring ding diddle diddle i de o Ring di diddl wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath their kilt.

They crept up to the sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be

Then lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see

And there behold for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt

Was nothing but what God had graced him with upon his birth

Ring ding diddle diddle i de o Ring di diddle i o There was nothing there but what God gave upon his birth

They marveled for a moment then one said we'd best be gone

But let's leave a present for our friend before we move along

They took a blue silk ribbon and they tied it in a bow

Around the bonnie spar that the Scot's lifted kilt did show

Ring ding diddle diddle i de o Ring di diddle i o Around the bonnie spar that the Scot's lifted kilt did show

The Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled toward a tree

Behind a bush he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees

Then in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes

He said, "Lad I don't know where you've been but I see you won first prize"

Ring ding diddle diddle i de o Ring di diddle i o He said, "Lad I don't know where you've been but I see you won first prize"

The two boys, both of them bearing Scots names, with Bobby's last name being McTavish, belted out the song with gusto, and the girls and some others clapped along.

Belle nearly dropped the glass she was holding.

"Rumple, did you hear...?"

The former Dark One looked like he'd swallowed a lemon. "My God, Belle! That song . . .!"

"Where on earth did they hear that!?"

"I have NO idea!" he hissed.

The group of teenagers was laughing hysterically. Ewan and Bobby sometimes sang it when the gangs would party together.

They pulled their girlfriends out on the floor and twirled them around.

"I think we ought to have a little talk with them..."

"Yes. It's fine to have fun but some things are not appropriate," Gold said.

"All right we won't be having any of that!" Belle said firmly when they approached the group.

"Aww, Mrs. Gold!" Bobby sighed.

"Don't you awww me, Robert McTavish. You all know better."

"Or you should," Rumple lectured. He frowned at the boys. "There's a time and place, lads, and this is not it."

"Sorry Mr. Gold, Mrs. Gold..." Ewan muttered.

"All right . . .no more songs like that, okay? You can have fun just refrain from these off color songs, clear?" Rumple said, giving them one of his disappointed Looks.

"Okay..."

Rumple walked up to the DJ and asked him to play a special song that he and Belle had danced to at their wedding, since he felt after that rather raunchy display, they needed a slow love song.

Belle waited in the center of the dance floor, her heart beating faster when she heard the opening to their song.

As the strains of Martina McBride's "There You Are" filled the room, Rumple reached his wife and took her in his arms. His brown eyes glowed with love and passion as he moved lightly to the music.

_"There you are, in the early light of day, there you are, in the quiet words I pray, I've been blessed with your simple happiness, and the perfect love we've made . . ."_

She lay her head on his chest, sighing contentedly. "I feel like we're at our own prom..." she murmured.

"Or a coming out ball . . .which is what you would have had back in Avonlea," he murmured as they swayed to the music.

"I hope Marie's night is going so well too..."

_"Every time I turn around, when I was lost and when I'm found, like an angel standing guard-there you are . .."_

"I would think so," he said, his voice a deep rumble in his chest.

He noticed as they revolved that few of the teenagers were also dancing to their song, sweet yet awkward.

"Remember the night we danced in the Dark Castle...you were so nervous but I barely noticed it because I was too..."

"Yes . . . I was afraid you wouldn't want to dance with a beast," he mumbled.

"I didn't want to dance with anyone else...didn't want to be with anyone else..."

It was also the last time they were happy. The curse struck the following morning.

This time, Rumple vowed, nothing would keep them apart. His hand moved down to cup her belly. "Hello, my wee one. I hope you're enjoying this dance too."

"Do you think we're having a boy...or a girl?"

Rumple considered. "Uh . . .they say it's too early to tell . . .but I have a feeling . . .just a feeling mind you, that . . .the baby's a girl . . . but I could be wrong . . ."

She smiled. "A little daughter for you to spoil rotten...and scare the skin off potential boyfriends.."

"And turn our hair white as snow," he giggled.

"It'll be worth it...it'll all be worth it."

"Of course . . .children are worth every bit of trouble . . ." he said. "And maybe she'll have her mother's eyes . . ."

"Or her father's..."

"I'd like her to have your hair."

"I wish we didn't have to wait so long..."

"Well, dearie, babies come when they're ready and not before. It's the miracle of life . . .and the greatest magic of all . . .besides True Love."

"And maybe...someday...we can have more...miracles can happen more than once."

"Yes, they can," he agreed.

They barely noticed that the song was over and were still dancing when the next song came on. It was Eric Clapton's Wonderful Tonight and Bae and Andi danced over to them.

"You're looking good, Papa!" his son called.

Rumple smiled. "So are you."

"Andi, are you having a good time?" Belle inquired.

She nodded. "Yes. The music's great and so is my partner."

"These Gold men know how to make a woman feel like a queen."

"Yeah . . .and not for just a night either . . ." the duke's daughter grinned.

**Page~*~*~*~Break**

The items that had been confiscated by that impotent wizard and his turkey baster wife were easily replaced when Etienne made a call to his dealer. He had to pay double of course but his father had the money.

There was nothing Savannah liked more than stoned sex. She had to give the little gang boy and his girlfriend credit...they were right about Etienne being a lousy lay unless he was higher than a kite.

After an hour of playing, Etienne got the brilliant idea to go back to the school and cause some mayhem. Maybe set off a stinkbomb in the gym or something.

"They'd shit themselves for sure!" Savannah laughed. "Do it!"

They hopped in his Roadster and zoomed back over, Etienne laughing like a hyean the whole way.

"I can't wait to see the look on Limp Dick Gold's face when he finds out he's not so smart!"

They got out and prepared to sneak into the gym. Music from Journey was playing and it sounded like all the dweebs and their tart girls were having a great time.

"We should've been in there if anyone other than Gold was on babysitting duty!"

"Aww who cares? They're losers anyway!" she sneered.

Etienne started to sweat, the stoned feeling leaving him. "Look . . .stay here. I gotta go take another hit."

"Here? You'll get caught!"

"Nope. The faculty bathroom's here and nobody's gonna be here to use it this time of night," he sniggered.

"Well hurry up, will ya?"

She tapped her foot impatiently while she waited for him. Sometimes she thought he dragged it out just to piss her off.

In the bathroom, Etienne was taking a long slow drag off his joint, enjoying watching the smoke as it curled up towards the ceiling. He couldn't wait to stick to those assholes . . .

Suddenly he heard footsteps outside the bathroom and he hastily stubbed out the joint and chucked into a trashcan overflowing with paper towels. Then he ducked inside of a stall.

"Eti...hurry the fuck up!"

Savannah pounded on the closed stall door.

He exhaled in relief and came out. "Thought you was old man Gold or somethin'," he giggled.

"Yeah right. He's too busy with the turkey baster and those other losers. I wanna see 'em run like babies...get movin and set the bomb off!"

She glared at him. "Unless you're chickening out..."

"Am not!" Etienne followed her out of the bathroom, too eager to do mayhem to realize that the joint he'd tossed in among the paper towels was still lit, and the embers began to catch the towels and burn them.

As the two crept back towards the gym, the auditorium with the kindgergartners and their parents let out, forcing the two to duck around a corner and wait.

"Daddy, I gotta go potty!" whined a towheaded boy to his father.

"Me too!" yelled his smaller sister, jumping up and down.

"Okay. Timmy, you know where the bathroom us, right?" asked their father.

"Uh huh. Down there!" the boy pointed.

"Okay, you take Missy and go, just wait outside the door till she's done." Their father directed.

"I'll call Mommy and tell her we're coming home." He reached into his pocket for his cell while his kids raced two doors down to the bathroom.

"Dammit!" Savannah cursed. "Freakin' kids!"

Excited kids and parents spilled into the hallway, blocking their way and forcing them to remain hidden until the exodus was over.

Meanwhile, in the gym, Bae and the others were dancing to YMCA and Cotton-Eyed Joe, as well as some popular tunes from Queen.

Belle was feeling a bit tired from the baby and wanted to sit down for a bit..

As she went to find her chair and drink a can of ginger ale, the fire alarm went off.

She dropped the can on the floor. "Rumple!"

The DJ turned the music off.

The fire in the restroom trashcan was raging, having good accelerant in the paper towels and other garbage, and it had spread out into the hall way.

Outside the gym, little kids and parents started to panic and mill about, fighting to get through the doors and causing a traffic jam.

One of the sprinklers went off inside the restroom, but the trashcan was further away and it couldn't totally penetrate the fire zone. Plus the fire greedily ate up the carpet in the teacher's lounge.

"Missy! Timmy!" screamed the frantic dad, trying to get through the mass of peopleto get to his kids to no avail.

"The fire alarm went off...they'll be distracted...let's go!" Savannah urged her date.

They bolted down the hallway to the back exit, Savannah throwing her lit cigarette butt into a display of paper flowers outside a classroom. It started another fire as they ran through the emergency doors.

As they did so, a security camera mounted on the wall snapped their picture.

As she had during their fire drills, Belle shouted out orders to the crowd in the gym, as always treating it like an actual emergency even if she wasn't sure. It sounded like someone playing a prank.

"Everyone line up in a neat and orderly fashion!" Rumple barked beside her. "No pushing or shoving!"

Accustomed to the drills, they obeyed promptly.

"Mr. Gold, look!" screamed one of the students.

"Oh my God!" Belle's hand flew to her mouth. "We have to get everyone out of here...NOW!"

Smoke drifted into the open doors from the hallway...

"All right . . .don't panic."Rumple soothed. "I can get everyone out." The ring on his hand began to glow as he drew power from it.

"Be careful..." she pleaded.

Kids were screaming and crying in the hallway.

"Oh my God! Rumple! The kindergarten class . . . they were having their play . . .!"

"Shit!" he swore. He gestured with one hand and a glowing doorway formed in the gym wall. "Everybody, go through that! Now!"

"Rumple...thre kindergarten class...it's right in their path..."

They could see the outside of the parking lot through the glowing doorway.

"I know. Go! You get out! I'll go help them!" he ordered, pushing his wife towards the exit.

"No...I'm staying here. You'll need my help...you're draining out"

"Belle! Smoke inhalation is NOT good for the baby! Now get the hell out of here so I can concentrate, dammit!" he ordered. A glowing shield snapped around himself, protecting him from the smoke. He turned his wife about and shoved her towards the gate in the wall.

"Rumple!" she sobbed.

"Go! I'll be okay!" he insisted.

Just then Bae turned around. "Papa! I gotta find Andi! She went to the bathroom!"

"Oh no!" Belle moaned.

He raced out of the gym and into the mass of panicked children.

"BAE!"

Rumple was terrified. But he knew he couldn't afford to panic. "Move!" he yelled to his wife.

Reluctantly she obeyed, terrified for him and for their son but knew she had to protect their other child too.

Then when he saw her doing what he ordered, he went to the doorway of the gym and began Fetching the children out into the parking lot with magic.

"Go! Through the doors! Your kids are outside!" he called to the frantic parents, the ring on his hand glowing like a star gone nova as he drew in the last of its power.

Belle attempted to go back in, arms seized her and pulled her back. "No, Mrs. Gold! You can't. He'd want you to stay here and keep your baby safe."

The parents began to obey, coughing and weeping as the smoke surrounded them.

Rumple continued transporting the kids he could see outside in quick bursts.

Andi emerged from a stall wondering why the hell the alarm was ringing. Stupid jerks! Somebody probably pulled it! Suddenly a little hand tugged her dress. "M'scared! I want my daddy!"

"It's okay!" Andi said and picked up the little girl.

As she made her way out of the bathroom, she saw another little boy standing there. "Hey, who're you?

"Timmy!" shrieked the girl. "My big brudder!"

"That's the fire alarm," Timmy said.

"I know. We gotta leave now," Andi said, coughing as some smoke stung her lungs.

She took Timmy's hand.

As they started to walk down the hall towards the main entrance, Bae dashed up to them.

"Andi! Thank God! Are you all right!"

"Fine! What the hell's going on? Some prank?"

"No, the place is really on fire. I don't know how. Papa's getting everyone else out...we have to hurry!"

Andi swore softly. They went down the hall only to find there was no way to get out as the smoke was too thick.

"Up the stairs! Second floor!"

She began to run towards the stairs carrying Missy.

Bae picked up Timmy.

His locker was on the second floor and in it one of his bungee cords. They would have to climb out.

He quickly unlocked it and snatched up the black cord there. Andi opened hers and grabbed a blue one.

"Okay...we need you both to hold on tight...okay...we're gonna go out through the window...you know...like Spiderman..."

She kicked off her heels. Then she looked at her once fellow catburglar and said, "Just like old times, huh, Wildfire?"

"I've got your back, Wraith!" Bae said, giving her a thumbs up.

"Yay...we're gonna be like Spiderman!" the kids cheered.

"Hug me round my neck!" Andi told Missy. "And don't let go, okay?" She would need both hands to climb.

"Kay!" the child clung to her."M'not!"

Andi set the cord into the window frame and tugged it. "God, Fire! This better hold!"

"She'll hold," he assured her.

He set his. Then he shoved open the large window. He tossed the cord out and saw that it fell short by about two feet. "We'll have to free climb the last bit. Ready?"

Those cords had gotten them out of some of the tallest buildings in the town and carried much more weight.

He waited until she had started to rappel down before he followed, Timmy hugging him about the neck with his feet wrapped around his waist.

Belle could only watch holding her breath as she saw her son and Andi climbing out a second story window carrying two children to safety.

Rumple limped out of the gate, close to collapse from magical drain. "Belle . . .I couldn't . . .find Bae . . ." he gasped, close to tears.

"He's up there!" she pointed.

Rumple looked up . . . "Jesus H. Christ!"

Around them kids clung to parents and pointed as sirens wailed and police and fire trucks pulled up.

"Lookit, Mommy!" one girl said. "They're like Spiderman!"

"How are they doing that?" a parent asked. "Magic?"

"That's the Gold boy...the gang kid..."

"Nah. Bungee cord!" replied Ewan. "Wraith and Fire are the best climbers in the whole town."

"Saved our asses a dozen times, right, Ewan?" asked Bobby.

The other boy nodded, just as a frantic father dashed up. "My kids! My kids are in there!" he half-sobbed.

"No they ain't, mister. Your kids are there!" Ewan said. "With Wraith and Wildfire."

"Oh thank God...thank God!"

The wind had picked up as the two continued their descent, making it difficult to hang on, but Bae did so. He looked at his passenger. "You okay, kid?"

"Uh-huh..we down yet?"

"Almost. Another minute!" he panted. Flames were licking the roof now, and the fire department was beginning to spray water on them.

"Spidergirl...I'm cold..."Missy murmured.

"I know. Just a little longer." Andi murmured. The wind was cutting through her dress like ice needles. She had almost reached the end of her cord.

"Rumple, their cords are too short..." Belle whispered.

"I know . . .But I can't . . .do anything . . ." he gasped, his face gray.

Bae dug his hand into the brick work, finding a handhold. "Ready, Wraith? Free climb two feet and we're done."

Normally he would have jumped the rest of the way, but not with a kid in his arms.

"Let's go, Fire!"

Bae released the cord and set his other hand into the opposite side. Luckily the bricks offered plenty of handholds. He found a protrusion with his foot and began to descend.

"C'mon Wraith and Fire!" Ewan and Bobby chanted.

"You can do it!" several other kids called out.

Andi smiled, despite her fear that the child in her arms would let go. _You can do this . . .you've done it a zillion times . . . her foo_t found another toehold and then another, as she climbed down with the agility of a spider.

"They're going to make it Rumple," Belle sobbed, holding onto her exhausted husband to keep him steady. "They're going to make it.."

Bae's foot touched the ground. Then his other one. "We did it!"

Loud cheers went up in the crowd and the childrens' father ran over to them and higged them both. "Thank you! Thank you so much!"

"Daddy...we gots a ride with Spiderman and Spidergirl!" Missy said excitedly.

Her father hugged them and said, "That was the bravest thing I've ever seen!"

"Uh -huh. They're better heroes than the real Spiderman!" Timmy boasted.

Bae laughed. "Thanks, kid." For once his climbing skills had come in handy for more than just breaking and entering.

"Bae! Andi!"

His parents, his father leaning on Belle for support walked slowly toward them, both of them in tears.

"We're okay, Papa!" Bae said as he hugged them. "I've free climbed worse than that."

"Our brave boy..." Belle murmured.

"Yeah, easy peasy," Andi chuckled. "Like falling outta window." Then she hugged them also.

"You..you both about scared ten years off us..." Rumple coughed.

"We'll let you off with a warning...this time..." Belle said.

Several paramedics approached them for smoke inhalation. "I'm afraid we won't be able to do anything for your magical drain, Mr. Gold. You'll have to sleep to recover your energy."

"S'fine...I'll sleep...later."

Unable to fight his exhaustion any longer, he lay down on the blanket they were sitting on and dozed off.

A group of the teenagers hoisted Bae and Andi up, cheering.

"Fire and Wraith! Fire and Wraith, Bae and Andi!"

Emma and Jeff pulled up in Emma's squad car. They were out to dinner when she got a

call from the station alerting her to the fire at the school. She walked over to the fire crew and asked to speak to the officer in charge.

"Can you tell me what started this?" she asked.

"I can't say for sure until the investigator gets here but my gut's telling me this was no accident."

"Well whoever was responsible, they'd better have some thick padding on their asses because I'm throwing the book at them."

And there were dozens of angry parents ready to do more than just that.


	14. Sweet Interludes and Convalescent Battle

**14**

**Sweet Interludes and Convalescent Battles**

Used to empty promises from many other men, Marie expected Archie to be no different once they were alone now and just try to take what he wanted from her. She'd forgotten this was the same man who comforted her so many times after her tense encounters with Gaston...and anyone else for that matter.

She wanted the deep passionate love her sister had...if it was even possible.

He played soothing romantic music from Josh Groban and Journey on the way to the cabin, and shared the fact that he had been as nervous as a long tailed cat in a roomful of rocking chairs, to use an old phrase from this world, coming to pick her up. He admitted that he hadn't been out on many dates with women . . .probably because after spilling their guts to him on his couch they didn't want to get any closer.

"And it has to do with professional ethics right?'

"Yes. Though it's not forbidden for me to date a patient. Just disclose anything about them." He cleared his throat. "I don't want you to feel . . . uncomfortable with me, Marie. You know I would never hurt you, right? In any way. My parents were thieves and con artists, but I'm not like them. Like Mr. Gold, I know how to treat ladies."

"I'm trying...I really am but you've seen the men I attract by what I do for a living..."

"Why did you come to the club the night we met?"

She'd always been curious about that but never dared to ask before.

He was with the dwarves but looked uncomfortable which was why she offered to handle him instead of Blue.

"Ahh . . . Leroy and the others talked me into it. Said I needed to . . . get out more . . .do some guy stuff . . . and I thought they meant have a drink at the Rabbit Hole. I didn't even know where they were going until we got there, since I wasn't driving. And by then I was . . .well . . .I didn't want to act like a stiff . . ." he chuckled ruefully. "Guess you noticed though, huh?"

"Which was why I took you to the private room...you needed to talk."

Hearing Zelena servicing one of her regulars on the other side of the wall hadn't helped matters.

Marie knew a lot of the girls did that because Fox encouraged it. She NEVER did.

She drew the line at sex with customers.

"I did . . . because that's what you did with a woman when you barely knew her where I came from . . .and I found out you were a nice girl . . .and I wondered why you were working for Mr. Fox."

"After my accident there was little else I could do. I didn't have my memories of the skills I had as Belle's lady in waiting. Plus the hours allowed me to be home with Gisella more."

Archie shook his head sadly. "The things this curse made us do . . . some of us will be long time recovering from it. Have you considered . . . leaving your job and doing something new?"

"Now that my leg is healed, yes but people still see me as a whore for working there..."

"I don't. If . . . if you like, you could come work for me . . . as my office manager," he offered. "I always need someone to help handle my schedule and the paperwork could fill a room. Unless that'd be too boring . . .or something."

"As long as it doesn't keep me away from Gisella too much I could."

"But you don't have to take pity on me..."

He laughed. "Me, pity you? Oh no . . .you're going to pity me when you see the disgrace my office is in. When Regina engineered the curse, she didn't think about what it would be like when we all woke up . . . and I have more clients now than I can shake a stick at. When Rumple came over to . . . err . . .offer me some tips on suits . . . he almost passed out!"

"They were a bit...odd."

"My clothes? Blame Regina for that."

"If it's any consolation my wardrobe is no better."

"Perhaps . . . we both need to turn over a new leaf, and start doing and behaving like we used to . . . before we were cursed."

"Well..ahhh...I still had a bit of a mouth on me and was...headstrong."

"And I let my parents lead me around by the nose half the time," he admitted. "But my point is . . . we can be anything we want to be . ..if we try. I actually have a better life here than I would back in our old realm as a cricket."

"If I could get Gaston to own up to Gisella I'd move us into a house...and get her a dog...like Pongo."

And someone to wake up next to in the morning and go to sleep with at night.

"That might be tough . . . considering what he's like," Archie made a face. "And we can work out your schedule so you can be home with your daughter as much as possible. Have you considered the option of a nanny? I know a wonderful woman named Mary . . ."

"Sella...she can be a bit difficult with strangers..."

But the night she called him after a terrifying argument with Gaston the child took to him right away...Pongo may have helped a bit.

"Hmm . . . what about your family? You know . . .odd as it is for people to believe . . .Rumple is extremely good with children . . ."

"He loves spending time with her but since he and Belle are having a baby, I don't want to be a bother."

"I doubt if he would see it that way. Even cursed, he wanted to be with his family. You should ask him. He might be staying home more now that Belle is expecting."

"She's still a hand full..like her aunt and me. Papa was always searching for us."

"You liked to wander, did you?" he smiled at her.

"A lot."

His eyes twinkled as he put the car in park and got out. "Well, perhaps you'll be content to stay here for awhile." He stared at the cabin. "I'll say this much for Rumple-he doesn't do things by halves! This place is . . . not like I expected."

She smiled. "It's their 'little paradise' as Belle calls it. She likes coming up here so they have more privacy when they want to be ahhh...alone."

"I can see why." He dug the key out of his pocket, and held out an arm to her. "Shall we?"

"Of course."

He strolled with her up to the front door. The evening sky was aglow with stars and the moon shone down like an unlooked for blessing upon them. He paused with the key halfway turned in the lock and murmured, "You doth teach the torches to burn bright, Marie."

"Me?"

"You." His hand came up and caressed her cheek.

She was stunned by such an intimate gesture. Even when he came to see her to comfort her after she had fights with Gaston...or anyone else, he never touched her and it hadn't bothered her...until a week ago.

After spending so much time with him, getting to know him, she allowed herself to fantasize he could be the man for her that Rumple was for Belle but there were as many obstacles to their relationship as there had been to her sister's with Rumple. She was the one who had the tainted reputation in this one.

And it was because of Gaston and his lies, making her sound like Zelena...willing to be on her back or her knees for any man who noticed her, never mind that he'd taken her against her will and threatened to kill her and Gisella if she told the truth. To protect her child, she like Hester Prynne in the Scarlet Letter wore a badge of shame.

Her hopes were fueled even more when he asked her to go with him while he chaperoned the dance, hopes dashed when it was made quite clear that a woman with her reputation didn't need to be around the children. She insisted Archie go to the dance anyway but he refused.

He refused...out of respect for HER. Her. And her dear sister and brother-in-law now gave them a chance at an evening alone that would be better than having to ride herd on rowdy teenagers. She didn't envy Belle and Rumple a bit with that.

He dropped his hand and turned and fumbled with the lock, wondering if he'd been too forward. I don't want her to get the wrong impression of me . . . I'm not like those other guys . . . who just want to sleep with her, he thought as he turned the knob. But I DO want to kiss her . . . very badly! Oh, gods, Hopper . . .practice some restraint!

"Well, this is . . . lovely," he exclaimed upon seeing the interior of the cabin. "I confess . . . i was prepared to see . .. uh . . . deer heads and antlers on the wall and fishing poles."

"Deer heads and antlers? Rumple?"

"You're right. Must have got Gaston on my brain," he laughed. "Blech!" He shook his head. "Rumple has better taste than that."

"Yes he does...and Gaston does have almost everything on his wall...and other places," she said bitterly.

He rubbed a hand soothingly on her shoulder, greatly daring. "Let's . . . forget about him. Let him molder away in his corner . . .like the piece of junk he is. Tonight . . . is for us." His brown eyes were decidedly hopeful and endearing . . . and brightened with a hint of passion.

Now she understood what her sister meant when she said when you found the right man, even the simplest touch his hand on your skin would make you burn.

And oh how she was...

Archie shrugged out of his suit jacket . . . it was suddenly hot in there and he wondered if Rumple had the heat on. He placed it over a chair in the kitchen and said, "Umm . . . so, would you like a glass of wine? Rumple bought something called . . err . . .Moscato D'oro. He said it's very refreshing. And, uh . . . look . . . a cheese and fruit plate . . ." He pulled the wine and the food out of the fridge, thinking he was babbling like an idiot, the way he always did when he was nervous. He was amazed his palms weren't sweating . . .he felt like he was roasting everytime he glanced at her. He resolutely told his runaway libido to knock it off.

Slow down, Marie. He's not Gaston, looking for a quick roll in the hay. You want him to LOVE you not just want to sleep with you!

"Wine...sounds good..."

Archie poured two glasses of the golden colored wine made from the sweet Moscato grapes imported from Italy. He handed a glass to her and they sat in the kitchen and sipped it and ate the different cheeses and grapes, melon, and strawberries on the platter.

"At least I don't have to worry about this fruit being spiked with vodka," Marie mused as she munched on a strawberry.

Archie didn't know if he ought to pinch himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming. Here he was, with a gorgeous woman in a knockout dress, eating fruit and cheese and drinking wine, alone in a kitchen that could have come out of House Beautiful.

"I keep forgetting you're not just here to...counsel me..."

"No . . .I would never do that,' he assured her. "Men who do such things are desperate . . .and indecent." He popped a grape into his mouth. "And we can talk about whatever you want . . .free of charge."

He sipped his wine. "Rumple was right . . . this is wonderful. The man does have good taste."

Then it came out. "If they pressed the issue...would you have gone to the dance without me?"

She needed to know that he wouldn't have backed down.

That she was worth it.

"No. Because . . .I won't be a party to anyone thinking you're not good enough to be around," he said emphatically. "I know the truth . . .and people need to open their eyes and see it too. ALL of us, every one, have things they've done or been, that they're ashamed of, that they try to hide-the one with the most being Regina herself-and yet in the dark of night, they cannot hide from themselves . . . and it scares them. So they point fingers at others, to cover up, and that's what they were doing with you! My gods, they employ a teacher who's a stripper! Do they think I'm stupid? I know what goes on in this town. And I know who's a good person . . . and who's not. And you are a good person, Marie."

"Y..You think so?" she was close to tears.

He closed a hand over hers. "I don't think so . . . I KNOW. Like your sister, you're a fighter, you got dealt a crummy hand, my dear, but instead of weeping and moaning over it, you played the hand you were dealt . . .and that's what counts. I don't see . . . a fallen woman when I look at you . . . I see a brave woman who was hurt and abused . . .and who did what she had to in order to survive . . .and if I had that . . . bastard Gaston here right now I'd . . . I'd punch him out!"

That was exactly what she was afraid he saw her as...a fallen woman as most people did. And that he would put himself at risk for being beaten within an inch of his life...over her...

"He's not worth a broken hand."

"Or a trip to the hospital, which is where I'd be most likely," he chuckled. "I'm not exactly the fighting man type . . .though I do like to watch John Wayne and Errol Flynn."

She smiled. "So do I...my favorite is McClintock...his wife reminds me of myself..."

"Yes. . .you're a fiery thing . . . though I promise I won't try and tame you . . .or spank you either . . ."

"Maybe I want you to tame me..." she murmured thern clapped her hand over her mouth.

"But I always laughed at the part with the mud fight . . .and . . .you do?" his eyes widened.

"I...yes..." she admitted.

She was jumping from the frying pan into the fire, but she no longer cared. She was tired of being unsure of herself and wanted to take a chance.

She remembered something Belle used to quote often before she was reunited with her true love. It was better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

Archie saw the moment when she looked at him as not just a therapist, someone safe to talk to, but as a man she desired. And before he lost his nerve he lowered his head and kissed her.

Unlike the other men who kissed her, making her skin crawl, Archie's kisses left her tingling from the roots of her hair to the tips of her toes.

Her arms reached for him and pulled him closer, not wanting to let go.

It was still too soon but she didn't care. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with this man, wanted him to be the father her daughter deserved and even if the gods willed it...they would have another child.

True love always finds a way, Marie, Belle said to her that evening when her daughter and Andi were busy talking to each other.

You could get burned Marie. Do you really want that?

I won't...not this time.

She could almost hear the other women at the Foxtrot laughing at her, especially that bitch Zelena. She knew Marie spent a lot of time with Archie and made it a point to taunt her.

"You're really desperate if you're getting hot and bothered over a shrink. He'd probably psychoanalyze you during sex."

Oh how she wanted to go on a witch hunt...but for the moment...being in Archie's arms was enough for her.

"W...Where have you been all my life?' she murmured when he lifted his lips from hers...a bit reluctantly she noticed.

"Nowhere I wanted to be," he said sadly.

"You know where I've been..."

"And it doesn't matter to me. How many times do I have to say it for you to believe it?" he inquired gently.

"Maybe a few more..."

"I'd rather show you..." he whispered and kissed her again.

"Maybe we should...go in the living room...?" she suggested.

He smiled and helped her to her feet.

No sooner were they seated on the sofa that they were in each other's arms again, kissing like their lives depended on it.

They might have gone further, but the sound of many sirens echoed through the tranquil night, splitting the air with their screeching warning.

"Gisella!" Marie cried worriedly.

Every time she heard a siren go off when she was away from her daughter she worried something happened to her.

She reached for her purse only to find she didn't have it!

"Archie...my purse...I have to find it and call Gisella...do you remember where...?"

"Uh . . . did you leave it in the car?"

"I don't know...I'll go look."

She jumped off the sofa and ran out to the car, dismayed when it was nowhere in sight.

The therapist frowned. So many sirens at once . . . in a town like sleepy Storybrooke . . . it boded something bad had happened. Very bad.

"Please tell me you have your phone!" she pleaded.

"I . . . yes . . .it's in my jacket pocket." he went and grabbed it and handed it to her. "Damn! It's dying . . .sorry I must have forgotten to charge it. You can probably make one call."

"Thank you." She punched in her father's number. "Papa, its Marie? Is Gisella all right?'

"We're fine, honey."

"We hear the sirens going off...what's going on?"

"Fire...at school..." Maurice's voice broke up.

"What?!" Marie screamed.

"Fire at the school Can't get hold of Belle!" The phone went dead.

"Oh my God!"

Marie sank back down onto the sofa in tears.

"Darling, what's happened? Is it Gisella?" asked Archie, concerned.

"No...it's Belle...Rumple and the kids...there's a fire at the school!" she sobbed.

Archie was horrified. "Okay . . . look, we'll go back to Gold's house and get your phone, you can call them, and if you can't get Belle on her cell or Rumple on his . . . we'll go over there and see what's going on." He grabbed his keys.

"All...just hurry!" she begged.

They locked up the house after cleaning up in the kitchen, and then drove hell for leather back to Gold's Victorian. Luckily, the extra key ring which had the key to the cabin on it also had an extra key to the Victorian as well.

Marie was terrified. She couldn't lose her family...not now.

Major leaped up as the key turned in the lock, barking sharply, before he recognized Marie and Archie. The shepherd stopped growling and wagged his tail as they entered.

Marie spotted her purse on the coffee table and picked it up. To her horror her phone was dead too.

"Dammit!" she cursed.

"Use their cordless," Archie suggested.

She grabbed the cordless phone and called Belle's cellphone. After several rings she answered.

"Hello?"

"Belle, thank GOD...are you all right?'

"Yes...and so are Andi and Bae but Rumple is drained."

"Are you still at the school?"

"Yes...Marie can you come pick us up...?

"We can I don't want you driving and everyone won't fit in that antique car of his if Rumple is asleep stretched out in the backseat."

"Thank God he didn't hear you call it that..."

"He can yell at me later."

"You tell her not to worry, the cavalry's a'coming!" Archie said stoutly. "Let's go. You can drive my car and I'll drive Mr. Gold's Cadillac." Truth was he'd been itching to get behind the wheel of that vintage classic for a long time now . . . he loved old cars.

Marie covered the mouthpiece with her hand. "Rumple is drained...passed out..."

"Don't worry, I can help Bae get him upstairs . . .thank God he's not a big man . . . or a heavy one . . ." Archie said.

"We'll have to pick up his hellpasser in the morning."

"No, I can drive it and him back here," Archie assured her. "You can handle my old Chevy."

"Okay. Sit tight belle, we're on our way!"

Belle was sitting beside her exhausted husband, carding her fingers through his hair. "They're on their way, darling."

Poor Rumple was barely conscious, nodding in and out, his head in her lap.

One of the medics a former fairy named Tinkerbell sat down beside Belle. "TLC...that's what he needs the most of to recover."

Belle thought about calling Dr Jo to see if there were some other concerns she should be aware of.

Andi had called Mark on her phone to tell him what had happened, and he had come over and was talking with Bae and some firemen, who told him that arson was the probable culprit. The former duke muttered a swear word and said, "If that turns out to be the case, I'm suing the ass off of whoever did this. My sister and all those kids could have died!"

"You might want to get in line!' yelled the outraged father of Missy and her brother.

"And they almost cost me my husband and my son!" yelled belle.

"Yeah behind us!" cried Bobby's angry father, Joe MacTavish. "I'll be speaking to Mr. Gold in the morning if he's up to it, should it turn out to be arson."

"Aye and I say we string em up by their ballocks," added Lachlan MacLeod, Ewan's father.

"I have a shotgun," said Marilyn Halloway, Becky's mother.

"My baby was almost trampled!" cried a kindergartner's mother.

"And I've got a forty-five," answered Vinnie, Kat's father. "Let's teach the bastard a lesson about roasting children he'll never forget!"

"Rest assured, justice will be done," vowed Regina.

"Ummm...Mama...Papa's gonna be a really busy man! " Bae said.

Belle nodded. He would be . . . assuming he could deal with all the cases after this trauma.

"If need be, I will make sure he has an assistant," Regina told her.

She couldn't trust Spencer to do the job...the Allen rape case was proof he was a bastard of the highest order.

"Madam mayor, has the fire's cause been determined yet?" asked a reporter from Good Morning Storybrooke news crew.

"I've been told there is evidence to support arson was the cause and those responsible will be punished to the fullest extent of the law."

"We will be reviewing the recovered security recordings from the school's camera system," added Emma.

"Good, when the results are in . . . please let us know." The reporter nodded, looking delighted at the juicy scoop that would be going on. He turned to Belle and said, "Would your husband and son be available for a few interviews? We'd like to do a focus segment on them . . .they're heroes for their actions tonight."

Belle shook her head. "My husband is in need of his rest and so will my son be."

"Mama, I'm okay . . ." Bae protested.

"You climbed out a building!" she cried.

"I'm a little sore, but otherwise I'm fine," he answered, hiding his hands in his pockets. They were scraped from holding on tightly to the cord while he climbed down with a little boy hanging around his neck.

But it could have been worse, he thought. And he hardly felt the stinging in his hands through the worry he was feeling for his father.

"I'm sorry but my family will not be doing interviews tonight...Surely you understand..."

"Yes, of course. Some other time then," agreed the reporter, then he went to corral Mark and Andi, who were talking to the sheriff.

Tinkerbell gave Belle a blanket to wrap around her husband while she put in a call to Dr Jo.

The doctor answered on the second ring. "Hello, Belle? What's the matter? Are you having some contractions or something?"

"No...there was a fire at the school tonight..."

"Rumple was helping get everyone out and he...he drained himself."

"Ah . . . gods," sighed the doctor. "Okay . . . I need you to tell me what he looks like . . . is his skin pale and wan . . .is he breathing all right?"

"He is a little pale...but he seems to be breathing fine."

"Is he going to be okay?"

"Okay . . . then he hasn't drained himself to the point of catatonia," she mused. "All right, here's what you need to do. He'll probably sleep for a good twelve hours .. . and when he wakes up he'll be starving and dehydrated . . .give him whatever he wants to eat and drink . . . his body's burned up a lot of calories and he needs to replace the nutrients he's lost. So, give him plenty of liquids, water, iced tea, Gatorade . . .lots of protein, vegetables, and carbs."

"All right...catatonia! Oh God!"

"You don't have to worry about that, Belle. That only happens in worst case scenarios-usually to a young mage who's cast a spell beyond their ability and strength . . . then he'd need "transfusion" of magical energy from another mage . . . but Rumple's a strong master mage . . . he's only drained because of his bond."

"You mean binding himself to me prevented catatonia?"

"Yes . . .and the fact that he's a very powerful magician to start with. I want him on complete bed rest for three or four days . . .he can only get up to use the bathroom and to sit up for about half an hour in a chair every few hours. He'll be weak and maybe have a headache too . . .he can take pills for it if needed. But rest is essential. Then again, he knows that. Every master does."

"He won't like being bedridden."

"That'll be a first . . . a man who doesn't like being pampered," she chuckled. "If he gives you a problem . . . you tell him doctor's orders!"

She found it ironic that SHE would have to be the one to keep HIM in bed this time. After she was poisoned by Zelena back in their land he had to fight to keep her in bed.

She could already hear him raging in that adorable accent of his.

"Is there anything else you'd like to ask me, hon? How are you holding up?"

"I'm all right...I was just terrified...I could've lost them both..."

"Is Bae all right?" Jo asked.

"He climbed out a second story window!'

"Oh good Lord! Crazy kid! Sounds like one of mine. Only he rappelled off my roof!"

"On a bungee cord with a child on his back!"

"Angels and ministers of grace defend us! And they're both okay?"

"Yes...he did a lot of that...back in his... gang days but it still terrified the daylights out of his papa and me!"

"I can imagine. I would have gone out of my mind. I almost throttled my son when I found out what he'd done . . . on a dare no less from his older brother and friends. Well, they say God looks out for little kids, fools, and orphans. I think you need to rest too. Go home, take a hot shower, and drink some chamomile tea and go to bed next to your husband. There's nothing quite like being next to your bonded to reduce stress."

"I won't argue with that," she murmured.

"If anything else comes up, just give me a call. I'm in the hospital tonight . . .got a patient in labor."

"All right...thank you doctor."

"Any time, sweetie! Bye!"

"Belle!" Marie ran toward her, Archie behind her.

"We've come to take you home," Archie said, looking down at Gold in concern. "Where's his car keys?"

Belle reached into his jacket pocket and retrieved them.

"Rumple...sweetheart...we're going home..."

" . . . Belle . . .where's Bae . . .?" he said groggily.

"He's right here.."

The sorcerer blinked his unnaturally heavy eyelids. "Bae . . .help me up?" he requested softly. "Tired . . ." That was an understatement, he thought. He felt weary to his bones and like his limbs were coated with cement.

It was an effort to remain awake, sleep was calling him with its irresistible siren call, beckoning him back into darkness.

"Darling...get some sleep..."

"Dearie . . . how canna I sleep . . . I need to get up an' walk to the car . . ." he muttered. "Bae . . ."

"We've got you," Archie said. "Come on, Bae...help me out."

Bae came and wrapped his father's arm around his shoulder and his own about Rumple's waist. "C'mon, Papa. I've got you." He half pulled his parent to his feet, thanking the gods he was stronger than he looked, and his father wasn't all that big.

"You okay with him, Bae?"

"I'm good," he assured the therapist.

Archie got Gold's other side, allowing the sorcerer to lean on him as the three made their way to the car. "Okay, Rumple, you can sleep now," he said, helping the pawnbroker into the backseat.

Belle got in beside him, placing his head in her lap.

"Okay, you two, I'm gonna drive." Archie said. "Bae, you want to ride shotgun or go with Marie?"

Bae volunteered to go back with his aunt, after he bid Andi goodbye, saying he'd call her tomorrow. "Whenever I get up," he said, and then he kissed her gently, saying, "Tell your brother not to come after me with a shotgun for that."

She chuckled. "Mark doesn't own a gun. And he ought to be glad I'm with you after tonight. Either way, it's not his choice, it's mine. You're my Fire," she added.

"Always. And I had the time of my life . . . until the end," he assured her. "Gotta to go."

She couldn't wait for tomorrow.

"I'll call you, okay?" She hugged him, then pulled away reluctantly and went to where her brother waited in his car.

Bae watched and then went to where Marie waited by Archie's Chevy. Sighing, he opened the passenger door and got in, thinking it had been a memorable night-in more ways than one.

Maurice brought Gisella back to Rumple's house to wait for them. Major was in the front yard, guarding the house.

"Grampy, where they at? The school burned up an' I wanna know they're okay!"

"They're on their way home," Maurice said. "Your mom just called and said so."

A few moments later, both cars arrived at the Victorian.

Gisella ran to greet them with Major at her heels.

"Hey, imp!" Bae greeted his cousin when he got out of Archie's car.

"You okay, Bae! We saw on the news you crawled outta window like Spiderman!"

"Uh yeah . . . I had to . . .and I'm okay . . .just my hands are little scraped." He showed her the minor rope burns on both hands.

Major licked his hands, whining.

"Ewwww!"

"No big deal," he laughed. "I'll heal. Papa's worse off than I am."

"What's wrong with Uncle Rumple?" she asked worriedly.

"He's just exhausted, Gisella. He used too much magic trying to get everybody outta the building, like the whole kindergarten class. But he'll be okay after a few days with rest."

He wondered how they were going to get his father up the stairs and into bed.

"Bae...does your father have anything magical that we can use to get him upstairs because I don't think Belle will want him to sleep on the couch?" Archie was asking.

Bae thought for a moment. Then he recalled the winged cloak. It had been an experiment of Rumple's back in the Dark Castle, an attempt to fly without growing wings or transforming, back before he'd met Belle. He recalled his father showing it to him soon after the Dark Curse had broken. It could help a person fly short distances.

"Um . . . yeah, he's got his winged cloak. I'll get it." He dashed inside to his father's study, and found the soft black velvet cloak in the closet. He picked it up and brought it back downstairs.

"His...what?"

By then Archie and Moe had gotten Rumple sitting up, lolling actually supported by Belle, and Bae put the cloak on him. "It's a winged cloak. You can fly short distances with it. If you command it right." As soon as the cloak was around Rumple, it transformed into a pair of big wings, like a raven's, and Bae said, "Fly to Rumplestiltskin's bedroom!"

The magical wings flew the comatose wizard into the house and up the stairs and into the bedroom.

"I'll be back down in a bit...after I get him changed," Belle said softly.

Bae ran up the stairs to remove the cloak and help Belle with his father.

"You get his shoes and socks, Bae...I'll handle the rest." Belle instructed her son

"Okay, and his tie," he said, removing them and placing the shoes in the closet and the socks in the hamper. He hung his father's tie on the tie rack in his huge closet. "Here, Mama. Some pajamas," he handed her some purple silk ones. Then he left.

While she was unbuttoning his shirt he stirred.

"Belle?"

"It's me darling..."

"What're ye doin'?" he mumbled.

"Unbuttoning the Dark One..." she murmured.

He gave her a lopsided grin. "Ye jus' cannae wait to rip ma clothes off . . ."

"Oh no and if you weren't so tired...I'd be having you rip mine off..."

" . . .love t' accom'date ye . . .but m'so tired . . ." his head lolled onto his chest.

"Plenty of time to make up for it later.."

" . . .later . . ."

He wanted to help her . . .but he was so exhausted it was an effort just to keep awake.

Once he was in his pajamas, she helped him lie down and the exhaustion that claimed him overtook her through their bond.

When Belle didn't return downstairs after a time, Marie went up to check on her.

She discovered her sister asleep with her head on her husband's chest.

"Where's Aunt Belle?' Gisella asked when she returned to the living room.

"She's tired too honey...remember how I said she and Uncle Rumple have a bond?"

"Uh-huh...kinda like twins where if one gets sick so does the other?"

"Kinda like that," Bae agreed. He yawned. The night's events were catching up to him.

"Bae, do you think your father will mind if we stay here to be sure you're all okay?" Marie asked.

Moe saw and quickly bid his two grandchildren, daughter, and Archie goodnight, saying he'd call tomorrow to see how everyone was.

"Nah. He's passed out cold . . . he wouldn't know if I threw a party and invited all my friends," Bae laughed.

"Well, I don't want him killing me," Marie pleaded.

"Only kidding. You don't wanna know how much trouble I'd be in if I did that," he grinned.

"Oh off to bed with you!"

Her nephew gave her a mock salute before heading upstairs, taking a moment to doctor his hands before going to bed.

"Now it's time for you to go sleep, Sella."

"Can I sleep with Major, Mommy?" she pointed to the shepherd, who was lying on the floor in the kitchen.

"Not on the floor!"

"Nooo . . . in my bed," she pointed to the stairs . . . where she knew there were bedrooms.

"All right."

"Yippee! C'mon, Major! Bedtime!"

The shepherd trotted upstairs with her, like a huge gold and black wolf.

"I had a wonderful time..." Marie said to Archie once they were alone again.

"Me too . . . even if we did get interrupted there . . ."

He took her hand and kissed it, the way a gentleman did to a fine lady. "Would you like to do this again sometime?"

A part of her wanted him to stay.

Not in her room...but close by.

"It's a long drive home..."

"I know, but . . . I have to let Pongo out . . .and I need to go into the office early tomorrow, I'm sure there'll be dozens of phone calls for me after what happened last night. Umm . . .if you want, we could make another date, for this weekend. And if you want to work for me . . .we could discuss that too tomorrow."

"Yes..."

"Then I'll say au revoir, my darling," he crooned, and he kissed her gently. "Until tomorrow."

"I can't wait..."

He wished he didn't have to leave, but he knew better than to stay . . .it wasn't proper, and he wanted to treat her like the lady she was. He handed her the Golds' keys.

She watched him leave, feeling like part of her was walking out with him. It wouldn't be long until they saw each other again but dammit, it felt like an eternity to her.

The next morning, everyone in the Victorian slept late, and while they were sleeping, the police and arsonist investigators discovered both the cause of the fire and who had set it by veiwing the camera video of last night.

And another mob was ready to march in Storybrooke.

Regina sent Emma to arrest the two teens while she and Mary Margaret and David attempted to calm down the vengeful parents so they didn't commit murder.

The phone at the Victorian started ringing as early as 7 AM with people asking for Rumple to represent them in lawsuits against the Harte and Devereaux families.

And Belle was having as difficult a time as her husband did trying to keep him in bed.

After sleeping for a full twelve hours, Rumple felt restored enough to sit up and talk to prospective clients on his cell phone, while Bae cooked him steak, eggs, home fries, and toast, along with orange Gatorade and coffee.

After setting up several appointments while devouring the food Belle brought him like he hadn't eaten in a week, he decided he needed to go to his study and look up a few things in his law texts.

"Rumplestiltskin!" Belle said angrily from the doorway.

He looked up from putting on his slippers. "Belle! I was just . . . umm . . ."

"Just disobeying orders! Now you go back up to bed!"

He gave her a stubborn look. "Now listen to me, dearie . . . I need to go and read some of my law texts . . . I have twenty lawsuits pending and I cannae sit around in bed all day. I feel fine," he said, keeping one hand on the bed, and the other gripping his cane. He felt weak, but he was sure he could make it down the hall to the study and then he could sit down.

"Oh do you? So did I until I fainted in your arms in the Dark Castle. Darling, you don't want to exert yourself..."

"I'm not . . . exerting myself . . . I'm walking five feet down the hall, not beating up people with a broom!" he argued.

"If you don't stop getting out of that bed, I will use your ties and tie you to it!" she threatened.

He gaped at her. "You're gonna what? Are ye crazy?"

"Would you like to find out?" she challenged.

He scowled. "In case ye dinna realize . . . I'm bigger than ye, dearie." He drew himself up to his full height, which was only 5' 7".

"You have to sleep sometime..."

He almost choked. "Ye wouldna dare . . .!"

She crossed to the dresser and yanked out two of his ties, holding them up with a smirk. "Back to bed, darling..."

"What . . . what do ye think this is . . . the reenactment of Fifty Shades or something?" he sputtered, feeling himself start to sway slightly. But he caught himself on the edge of the bed, trying to ignore the fact that his body was screaming for rest . . . even though he'd been on his feet only eight minutes.

"No, just a little role reversal."

"If ye think ye can pick me up . . .think again, lass!" he coughed, furious at how his body was betraying him. He knew he was being a stubborn ass, and would have torn shreds out of any apprentice of his who refused to rest after being drained like this, but dammit, he had things to do!

"Look, I can't pick you up if you pass out so do us both a favor and get back in bed!"

"Papa, quit being a pain in the ass and just do like she says," Bae interjected, coming in to see what was going on. "Because if you pass out and I have to call 911 to get your butt back in bed . . .everyone in town's gonna know about it."

Rumple glared at him. "Are ye . . .blackmailing me, Baelfire? Your own father!?"

Bae stood his ground. "If I have to, Papa."

"Bed!" Belle ordered, pointing.

Rumple felt his legs start to wobble. Dammit! he swore to himself. He knew he couldn't remain on his feet any longer . . .or else he would end up on the floor in a heap. Clenching his teeth, he took a step backwards . . . and flopped down on the bed as his bad leg gave way.

Belle crawled in beside him with a tie in her hand. "Now are you going to do this again?"

He gave her a guilty smirk. "Belle . . . I hate being so damned helpless . . ."

"So did I but I learned my lesson."

He heaved a sigh. "All right . . . I'll behave . . ."

"Darling, I love you for wanting to help everyone but you need your rest first...so you can kick ass later."

"Make him promise, Mama," Bae said. "Otherwise he'll find a loophole. He IS a lawyer."

Gold looked over at Bae and shook his finger at him. "I oughta ground you till you're eighteen, mister!"

Bae smirked unrepentantly. "You should . . but you won't." Then he mimicked his father's accent. "Do ye wanna have a relapse, Papa? I seem to remember you saying that to me when you were dragging my butt back to my room when I was sick with the flu."

"'Tis true," Rumple admitted grumpily. "Okay. I promise. But can I please have my books and my laptop?"

"If you promise not to overdo it," his wife proposed.

He looked at her sulkily. "What's that mean?"

"What it means, dearie, is that once you start getting tired, you put them away and rest...no falling asleep over them."

"Aye . . .agreed," he grouched. Now that he was supine again, he felt better. He sipped some of his Gatorade and heard his stomach growl.

She leaned forward and kissed him.

"I'll get your laptop, Papa," Bae said, and went to retrieve it from Rumple's study.

He quirked an eyebrow at her. "Is that what I get if I'm good?"

"And...maybe more..."

"Oohh . . .then I'll be verra good, dearie . . ." he purred, his eyes sparkling.

"Is that a promise?"

"You drive a hard bargain, dearie."

"If you be good and rest...as soon as you get better...I'll give you a night to remember..."

"I'm gonna hold ye to that, Belle."

She smiled. "And we'll start it off in the hot tub..."

"I like the sound of that," he grinned. "Can you bring me my texts?"

"Anything in particular?"

He named several of his law books he thought he might need to reference, saying, "Thank the gods they caught those two little wretches! I knew they must have had something to do with it!"

"Can they be tried as adults?"

"I'm not sure about that. I'll have to look up arson laws in the state of Maine . . . and statue of limitations on age and so forth. They're underage, so I doubt it."

"Dammit!"

He spread his hands. "But . . . I'm going to do my best to see those little bastards go to juvie and rehab for a LONG time. Regina's told me to basically play hardball for keeps."

"You're the best at it."

She gave him another quick kiss then went downstairs to retrieve the texts he needed.

He read through some of the texts she brought back, highlighting and marking certain portions with post it notes. Then he went on his laptop to look up a few relevant cases and spent half-an-hour online.

Belle brought him some more juice and some Power bars, and he ate them, spent another half-an-hour doing research, then felt exhausted again and as agreed, put his books and computer on the night stand and fell asleep.

She tucked the covers around him and kissed him lightly on the mouth before going downstairs to see what Marie and the kids wanted for lunch. It turned out that Marie was meeting Archie to discuss her new position as his office manager she was considering, so Belle decided to order out and had pizza delivered.

Once she had eaten two slices of barbeque chicken pizza, she went to check on Rumple again and found her husband still asleep and Major stretched out on the bed on top of Rumple's feet.

Belle smiled at their dog. "Are you guarding Rumple, Major?"

The shepherd's tail thumped the covers and he made a soft whining noise, giving her a doggy grin.

"He'll be all right . . . once he gets enough rest," she told him.

Major just panted happily and put his head back on his big paws, keeping vigil on the end of the bed.

Belle stroked his head and then left again.

Rumple woke to find his feet pinned down to the mattress and for an instant thought Belle really HAD made good on her threat and tied him to the bed with his ties.

He opened his mouth to yell when he saw a familiar lump at the end of the bed and recognized his faithful police dog. "Major! Gods, you big lummox! Move off my feet!"

The big dog woke, and his tail thumped a happy tattoo on the coverlet, then he heaved himself up and came over and licked Rumple's face.

The sorcerer-attorney started chuckling as the dog seemed determined to wash his cheek while lying next to him. "Okay! Okay! Enough! If I want a bath, I'll take one. Silly sheepdog!"

He ruffled Major's ears, and hugged the dog, patting his side briskly.

"Good boy!" He slipped off the bed and picked up his cane, limping into the bathroom.

When he returned, Major had his head on Rumple's pillow!

The sorcerer raised an eyebrow. "Okay . . _. I_ sleep there, so what's the big idea?"

The dog opened one eye and barked.

Rumple sighed. "I don't care if it's comfortable. It's _my_ bed, now move over!" He went to shove the dog's head off his pillow and almost fell over.

"Insufferable animal!" he groused, climbing on the bed. "Major! I don't want dog drool on my pillow! Now get your damn hairy snout over!"

Major opened one eye and looked at him.

"Yeah, I'm talking to you!" Gold stabbed a finger at the end of the bed. "Go over there!"

When the animal didn't move, he decided to try something he'd seen on The Dog Whisperer. He lowered his head until he was almost nose to nose with his obstreperous canine and growled at the dog.

"Grrrr!" he snarled. "See? _I'm_ the boss!" Rrrrr!"

Major just cocked his head and looked at his master like he was nuts. "Arrroww?"

"Don't you give me any backtalk!" Gold snapped. "Arrrrr!"

Major whuffed in puzzlement.

"Blast and damn! It worked with Cesar!" muttered Rumple. He shoved the dog's shoulder. "Grrrr! Rrrrr!"

Major whined nervously.

"P_apa_?" gasped Bae upon going past the room. "What are you _doing_? Are you . . . _growling_ at Major?"

Rumple immediately looked chagrined. "What? No . . . err . . well . . . he's on my pillow and . . . I was trying to get him to move, so . . . ."

Bae just shook his head. "Man, Papa, this pregnancy's really messing you up!" He snapped his fingers. "Major, come!"

Major jumped off the bed and came to Bae. "Okay, Papa?"

Rumple turned the pillow over and then lay down. He pulled one of his texts off the night stand and opened it to one of the pages he'd bookmarked. "Thanks, Bae."

"Welcome," his son said, then went on to his room, Major padding at his heels. _Good flaming gods, but I think my papa's gone out of his mind! Out of his MIND!_


	15. The Trial--Part One

**15**

~ The Trial, Part One ~

**A/N: This chapter features a trigger warning for impiled domestic abuse! But nothing graphic.**

Once word got out that Rumple would be prosecuting the Harte girl and Devereaux boy the town breathed a collective sigh of relief. Justice would be swift and sure as it was in the Allen case. The two families were scrambling to try to find lawyers to represent their children but no one was willing to go up against Rumplestiltskin.

And Rumple was hungry for Devereaux blood more than ever now that Gaston would also be facing a trial...for assault and attempted murder.

A week after the fire, Rumple and Belle received a frightening phone call from Emma Swan asking them to go over to Marie's apartment and what they encountered would haunt them for days afterwards. The paramedics were bringing a badly beaten Marie out of the apartment while Emma had Gaston in handcuffs and Jeff was trying to restrain a distraught Archie who was ready to dispense his own justice.

Rumple was furious, nothing got his back up more than a man beating up women. He had sensed from the beginning that Gaston was a rake and nasty, despite his rank and handsome exterior. It was partially why he had made his deal with Belle. While Emma took Gaston down to the station to lock him up, Jeff stayed behind to make certain Archie and Gisella were all right and to explain to Rumple and Belle what was going on.

"What happened, Jeff?" Rumple asked softly, his eyes glittering with rage. "Not that I couldn't see with my own eyes but . . . why did he assault her?"

"It was my fault!" Archie moaned. "I never should've left her alone..."

"Did you know this would happen?" Rumple demanded sharply. "No? Then quit talking like an idiot!"

"No, you don't understand...we argued...and I left...I should've KNOWN better!"

"Archie, you're not making any sense. Would you please try to do so...this is my sister!" Belle pleaded.

Jeff pulled them aside. "I don't know all of it but I know some of it...and he's really not going to make any sense till he calms down."

"Start at the beginning," Rumple urged, getting control of his temper and trying to act like the attorney he was. "Why was Gaston here?"

"He's been watching the house...and following them around," Jeff explained, indicating Archie.

Rumple scowled. "Bloody damn stalker!"

"Oh it gets worse, Rum...Marie's been having problems with him for a while but after Emma picks him up...she drops the charges. I think that's what Archie fought with her about...she had an altercation with Gaston last night and we arrested him but she dropped the charges this morning."

Rumple swore. "Is he blackmailing her, Jeff?"

"Worse...we found a gun in his car."

Belle gasped in horror.

"That son of a bitch! Did he threaten Gisella?" the sorcerer snapped. He knew well how any threat to your child could cause a parent to do things that were unspeakable.

"Yes..."

"And Archie too unless she broke it off."

"Bastard!" Belle hissed.

"Did he confirm that?" asked Rumple.

"Yeah...he ahhh stayed over last night to make sure she and Gisella were okay... Slept on the couch but it set Gaston off and he broke in after Archie left."

Jeff sighed hating to recount the next part.

Rumple shook his head. "Why didn't she call me? I could have set up wards to keep him out."

"She didn't want to burden you now that you're expecting."

"And he threatened Belle and the baby too..."

"He would've had a damned hard time accomplishing that," Belle snarled.

Rumple looked ready to skin Gaston and hang him on a wall. "He'd have been a dead man if he tried anything! I may not be the Dark One any longer, but that doesn't mean I'm some weak inept coward! I can still take anyone down who threatens my family!"

"Had Gisella not locked herself in the bathroom and called 911..." Jeff trailed off.

"Where is she?" asked Rumple, concerned.

He pointed to where Archie stood holding the sobbing child.

Rumple ground his back teeth together. "Damn Devereaux! I want to charge him with aggravated assault and breaking and entering, to start with."

Belle was pale. How long had her sister been keeping such a terrifying secret?

"All the evidence on the stalking is in his car...pictures…"

"I'll also need the records of how much back child support Gaston owes her." Rumple continued. "I'll use that as evidence of his intent to harm her, along with whatever else we can gather."

"Archie's phone...you'll need that too."

"Why? Is there...?" Belle couldn't even speak what she was thinking.

Jeff nodded. "She called him upset after he left to tell him she wanted to work it out...and it picked up part of the fight before Gaston smashed her phone."

"Oh my God..."

"While that's a terrible thing to hear . . . it will lend immense credibility to Marie's case against him," Gold mused. "Gaston can't lie if we've got him on a recording."

"It's not long but oh gods...hearing Gisella screaming in terror like that...I'll have nightmares for month."

Rumple shut his eyes and counted to ten rapidly . . . focusing on the numbers to avert the building fury he was feeling that threatened to escape his iron-willed control and run amok like a raging predator.

Belle was thinking of having a carving party...with a certain man's genitals.

Rumple opened his eyes. Doubtless some of Gaston's rage was fueled by the fact that he was the prosecuting attorney representing several families in lawsuits against the Devereux heir, Etienne, who had been summarily expelled from school along with Miss Harte and was under house arrest pending his sentencing for arson.

But the rest of it was by his own inflated ego. If he couldn't have Marie the way he wanted her...no one could...obsession in its most extreme form.

Rumple drew in a deep breath. "Bring me the evidence, Hatter. I'll need to examine it and we should probably go down to the station to fill out paperwork." He looked at Belle. "Sweetheart, why don't you see if Archie and Gisella want to go with you to the hospital? I know you're worried about Marie and maybe if you speak to a doctor it will set your mind at ease."

"I will...and I'll call you when I learn something..."

"Thank you." He squeezed her hand. "In the meantime, I'll start the proceedings for the case."

Belle walked over to Archie and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I'm going to the hospital..."

She didn't need to ask him if he would accompany her. He was already following her to the car still holding Gisella.

Rumple waited while Jeff gathered the evidence from Gaston's car and took Archie's phone. He eyed the portal jumper turned deputy for a moment before saying softly, "Now . . . what else aren't you telling me, Jefferson? I know there's something you weren't saying . . .because you didn't want to upset Belle. So what is it?"

"He tried to rape her..."

"Fuck!" Rumple snarled. "I'm gonna cut his nuts off! Without anesthetic! With a dull knife!"

"Think you may have to wait in line, Rum...think Hopper will want at him first..."

"Undoubtedly . . . we could take turns . . . he can have one and I'll have the other . . ."

"She ahhh tried to cut him herself..."

"Good! Too bad she didn't succeed." Rumple grunted.

"He knocked her out...and Em thinks he was coming out to get the gun when we caught him...then Hopper got here..."

"He's lucky it wasn't me," the sorcerer growled. "I'd have made him into a pincushion."

"Now Hopper is usually a quiet guy but he sounded like you when he saw Marie..."

"That's the thing about us quiet types, Jeff . . . we don't say much until something causes us to . . .and then we breathe fire like a damned dragon at anyone who's hurt someone we love."

"Didn't even know they were an item."

"Just goes to show you. Archie's not one to brag about his love life . . . and Marie had her reasons for keeping quiet also . . .as we now know. Let's go, Hatter. I want to nail the bastard . . . figuratively if I can't do it physically."

"Right behind you."

Marie's recovery was a painful one both physically and emotionally but with her family supporting her she got through it. As the trial date approached, the town was eager to see Rumple massacre Gaston and his sleazy lawyer. It was no surprise said lawyer was George...eager to be the victor in this latest battle with Rumple.

Belle had now begun to wear some of the maternity clothes she had shopped for with Rumple, Marie, and Ruby, as she was now starting to show at almost 14 and a half weeks.

Marie also suggested a change in her footwear.

Her blood tests had all come out fine but she still had crazy cravings and the occasional stomach upset and bloating.

"When I was carrying Sella my feet swelled up so I had to have my shoes made larger or I wore slippers."

Belle looked down at her own feet, which were starting to look like boats instead of her normal small size. "I think I need to get new sandals and sneakers. These are starting to pinch."

Dr. Jo had explained at her last visit that stress would make her retain water . . . resulting in weight gain.

"Buy them a size larger just in case."

"Okay," Belle said, patting her tummy.

"All my...issues haven't helped..."

"We're family, Marie. And family sticks together. No matter what," Belle reassured her. "Rumple will take him to the cleaners."

"I was terrified...I knew what he was capable of...and I should've filed a restraining order and pressed charges like Archie advised me to but all I saw was that gun in my face and him telling me what he'd do if I talked..."

Belle hugged her. "But he's behind bars now and he can't come with fifty yards of you. You're safe . . . and you have Rumple's bracelet for protection."

Rumple had woven both her and Gisella a spun gold bracelet, braided together, with strong protection spells on it.

"And my Archie..."

Belle smiled. "Yeah, he's a real tiger . . ."

"The classes he's taking are showing it..." He'd signed up for several self-defense classes and Emma was teaching him how to shoot. Marie grinned. "In more ways than one..."

Belle smirked knowingly and wagged a finger at her. "Marie . . .what are you encouraging him to do?"

"Not that...I'm not ready for that yet... Though with us living together now people think it."

"People always think the worst of others . . . so they don't have to look in the mirror and see how their lives compare," Belle said sharply.

She thought of how, back in their old realm, people had assumed because she lived with Rumple in his castle she was his whore. "I know he loves me Belle but how long will he wait...?"

"Forever if necessary," her sister replied. "True love has no timetable and no boundaries. Look at how long Rumple and I were apart."

"You weren't keeping the fact that your child's crazy sperm donor was watching your every move either..,"

"True, but I did get very upset with him once over this woman he made a deal with . . . who was ogling him in his leather pants . .. and showing him inappropriate displays of her cleavage at the same time."

"I'm having to worry about that now... worse since Archie's been in those classes and wearing contacts..."

Belle nodded commiserating. "Not that Rumple would ever cheat on me . . .but I still feel upset when I see some woman eyeing him like a nice juicy steak. Especially now when I'm starting to get pudgy."

"And there's that husband of yours giving him fashion advice.."

Her sister giggled. "Do you really mind that? I think Archie looks cute in Gucci."

"He does but not when Zelena is looking at him like he's her main course!" She groaned. "Then there's that bitch Merri Blue who now says she wished she'd made him her stud and not a cricket!"

"You tell that tart she'd better walk on by or else you're gonna borrow my broom or Rumple's cane and teach her the way to fly without wings!" Belle said angrily. "Harpies, the both of them! They wouldn't give him a second glance the way he was before . . . and now that he's a little more polished and you're with him . .. "

"It drives me batshit crazy!"

"I know the feeling. Now that Rumple's no longer the Dark One and is more in touch with his emotions and so forth . . . women look at him like they want to eat him with a spoon . .. with or without his leather pants!"

"If I still wasn't so worried about being branded a whore I would say we're sleeping together to shut them all up!"

"That wouldn't help, sweetie," Belle chuckled. "They KNOW we are but they still stare. And once in the grocery store this bold little snip walked up behind Rumple when he was getting me a case of Aquafina and pinched his backside! Then she dared to tell him she thought he was someone else! And she was barely out of high school!"

"The other night we went out to dinner and the waitress spilled something on Archie's lap...ON PURPOSE and then tried to clean it up...And believe me nothing makes you see red more than another woman trying to put her hands THERE!"

"Maybe we should make them wear signs . . .like HANDS OFF and DON'T TOUCH . . .or carry tazers in our purses," Belle mused.

"I'm all for that." Marie smirked."And don't you worry, Rum only has eyes and hands for you."

"Bae suggested Rumple get a tattoo . . . that said Property of Belle . . . "

Marie giggled. "On his ass is where it should be!"

"That's what my son said . . . and Rumple went red . . . then he threatened to get Bae's removed if he didn't stop being a sassy brat!" Belle smirked.

"I doubt Archie would get one but if he did it would be a cricket."

"Too true," Belle agreed. "Ah . . . we ought to be grateful we even have men to get upset over. I remember Papa once thought I was gonna end up an old maid!"

"He was worried I would run off and be a gypsy..."

"And when I told him I found books more interesting than my suitors he made me make a deal with him to give Gaston a temporary betrothal . . . because half the court ladies thought he was handsome as Adonis!"

"Ahh no my Archie is my Adonis..." She sighed dreamily. "He calls me his goddess...his Aphrodite..."

"Rumple calls me mo chroi when we're alone," Belle told Marie. "It means "my heart" in Gaelic."

"And does he speak with the accent?"

"Aye lass, he does," Belle mimicked him.

"Oooh sexy!" Marie crooned. "I envy you that, Belle. Though my Archie does have a wonderful calming voice. He can calm down Gisella better than I can."

"Rumple has that effect on her also," noted the librarian.

Marie nodded. Both women were incredibly lucky to have found the kind of men they had, and she hoped their luck would continue to hold. Especially with the trial coming up in a few days.

Belle picked out a nice pair of Sketchers, larger than normal and also a pair of expensive moosehide moccasins. She had a feeling she was going to need them. As they were paying for her purchases, Belle told Marie she had her first level two ultrasound today . . .besides the Doppler she had had three weeks ago to assess the baby's heartbeat and the cervical ultrasound to determine that the pregnancy was normal and the fetus inside the womb.

"That's great! I want to see the picture . . .the sonogram . . . when you get it!" Marie said excitedly.

"I can't wait!" Belle smiled. "Neither can Rumple. He was enraptured when we heard the baby's heartbeat. I can only imagine how he'll be when he actually sees the baby. Dr. Jo says she has one of these new 3D ultrasounds that lets you see the baby like it's right in front of you."

"I wish they had that when I was pregnant with Sella."

"I know, but you can see mine when I get it. And once this trial is over, Rumple and I are going to go shopping for the nursery and we can have the baby shower too."

"I'll be there..."

"I know you will be . . .and so will Rumple, since he's hosting it and cooking. We're having it in the backyard."

"Great. Just let me know when and if you need any help. That man of mine will be a bit upset if he can't participate."

"He can help Rumple in the kitchen then." Belle laughed. "Because Bae won't be around since he's taking Andi fishing."

Marie smiled. "He's giving me cooking lessons."

"Rumple tried that with me. They didn't take," her sister admitted ruefully.

"Now Sella tells me my grilled cheese isn't roadkill."

"But is it as good as my Rumple's?" challenged Belle.

"Yes!" Marie replied with a smirk. "Your Rumple has competition..." She giggled wickedly.

"We'll see," Belle said. "Now I'd best get on home before I'm late to my appointment. Rumple's probably checking his watch and muttering about how I'm cutting it close."

"Archie is the chili champ here, remember...?"

"Then maybe he should make chili for the shower."

"I'll tell him." Marie hugged her sister and left for home.

Rumple was indeed pacing in the foyer when Belle arrived home. "Dearie, we're going to be late!" he informed her.

"I'm sorry, darling I was with Marie and you know how it is when we get to talking..."

"Yes, I know. Come on, let's get in the car, before you need to reschedule," he said briskly. "Oh, the good old days when I could transport myself places," he mourned, for he couldn't do that with a pregnant woman, it was too stressful on the baby. As they got in the Cadillac, he huffed softly and scowled down at himself. "Dammit, I need to lose weight. I went to put on my gray trousers this morning and I . . .couldn't button them! I had to enlarge them with a spell."

She reached across the seat and patted his hand. "So is this the reason why you're cross with me not that we'll be late? Your weight will not make me love you any less."

He shook his head. "Maybe I need to go on a diet. I think I've been eating too many snacks. You don't want the Pillsbury Doughboy for a husband."

"Pillsbury Doughboy..." She tickled him.

He giggled unable to help himself.

"Now.. no more griping about your weight...I love you as you are and always will. And I hope you love me when I am a beach ball."

"You're my wife, dearie and of course I'll love you when you're a beach ball. I'd love you if you were the size of an elephant." He put a hand on her tummy. "Right, baby Gold?"

"Sooner or later we should feel some kicking."

Gold nodded eagerly. "I missed all of that when Milah was carrying Bae. I was knee deep in mud and getting my ears chewed off by my drill sergeant and trying to keep from coming down with dysentery from the shitty food and the unsanitary conditions."

"Well now you'll be here for it all...and healthy."

"Yes, thank the gods. And I don't want to miss a thing."

Their eyes met over the console and he smiled at her tenderly.

"Let's go see our baby..."

They arrived at the office and were ushered into the ultasound room. Belle hurried into the changing room to put on a pink gown and then hopped up on the exam table. The sonographer, a bouncy brunette named Gabrielle smiled welcomingly at them. "The doctor will be here in a few minutes, she's finishing up with another patient. Let me just prep you. I'm Gabbie."

Belle smiled remembering their beloved hassock puppy Gabby from the Dark Castle. It like all the enchanted objects was left behind during the curse.

Gabbie put on gloves and wheeled the ultrasound machine close to the table. She rubbed Belle's belly with special gel that helped conduct the sound waves. "Sorry if it's a bit cold."

"What's that do?" Rumple asked curiously.

Gabbie explained what the gel was for.

She washed her hands and turned on the machine and programmed it just as Dr. Jo came in.

"Hi, Belle! Hello, Rumple! So how are you all doing today?" the petite gynecologist inquired.

"Fine, just fine," Belle answered happily.

"Good. That's what I like to hear," Dr. Jo said, pleased. She looked at Rumple. "And how are you doing?"

"Okay, except . . .I seem to be . . . err gaining weight," he said, distressed. "Maybe it's all the weird cravings at all hours."

"And working and worrying..."

Dr. Jo didn't seem alarmed. "While that might be the case, depending on what you're eating, you may be gaining weight because Belle is . . .and you must be stressed with the workload you've got as the number on attorney in town."

"Well . . ."

"Stress and nerves are linked to weight gain, Rumple. And your Couvade syndrome is known to have weight gain as one of the symptoms. When I was pregnant, my husband gained weight too . . . about ten pounds . . ."

Rumple looked horrified. "What happened after the baby was born?"

"He lost it . . . as his metabolism went back to normal and so did his hormones," the doctor laughed. "You will too."

Rumple looked relieved.

"Okay . . .Gabbie, let's get some pictures of baby Gold here," Dr. Jo said, attaching a fetal heart monitor to Belle's tummy. The sound of a rather staccato washing machine and then what sounded like a pony galloping filled the room. "Nice and steady. Very healthy."

Rumple smiled happily.

The physician took the transducer, or wand, from her tech and began to run it over Belle. "Now look up at the monitor, and you'll see the baby."

Because this was a 3D ultrasound, the baby was seen in color on the screen . . . almost like a photograph from a camera.

"Ohhhhh Rumple..." Belle whispered. "Look...look at our baby..."

"See . . . there's the baby's head . . .look it has it's eyes open!" Jo pointed out.

Rumple gasped in awe at the image on the screen of his baby, his precious miracle, looking right at him or so it seemed. "Belle . . . that's so . . .incredible!" His eyes misted.

There were tears in her eyes as she gazed into those of their child. Their miracle...

"Belle...look...it's moving...!"

The baby's arms and legs were making small movements and its tiny hand lifted as if it were waving to its parents on the outside.

"Hello my precious..." Belle murmured. "I wish you could be here right now in my arms..."

"And your papa's going to be right here when you are," Rumple added.

If it was possible they would have stayed in that room for days admiring the miracle they'd created. And the life they would give this child would be so much brighter than the one they had before they were reunited again.

Gabbie printed out several pictures for the ecstatic parents including the one where it looked like the baby was waving at them. Belle was making a scrapbook that she would include them all in. They took pictures of the pictures on their phones and sent them to their friends and family with a message: here is our little miracle. On the picture of the baby almost waving they wrote: Baby Gold saying hello and will see you all soon!

Everyone agreed the baby was beautiful . . . and they couldn't wait to welcome baby Gold into the world. This would be the first baby born since the curse had broken . . . a miracle for all to share, the most tangible form of true love there was of a beauty's steadfast devotion to her sexy beast of an attorney.

Rumple tucked a copy of the sonogram into his jacket pocket of his Armani suit the day of the trial. He had to enlarge the shoulders of his jacket somewhat as well as his suit pants but he tried not to mind, recalling what Dr. Jo had said. This too would pass. . . once the baby was born. And right now . . . he had a case to win.

Because he was sick and tired of Gaston hurting his family, and also of bullies thinking they could get off harming those weaker than they. Today he would prove that Gaston was a scoundrel and a bastard of the worst order . . .more so than even himself, for even at his worst, Rumple had never harmed a woman or a child.

He carefully fixed his purple tie over his deep blue shirt and prepared to go downstairs to meet Belle. They would go to the courthouse together, where they'd meet up with Marie and he could go over some last minute pertinent information with her.

He already knew Spencer was going to bring up Marie's sexual history which was not as extensive as everyone believed.

He also was threatening to have Gisella testify, something both Rumple and Archie argued strongly against because of how it would upset the little girl.

"He's going to try to discredit her because of her age and we both know it!" Archie said angrily."I don't care what you have to do but my daughter is not getting up on that stand!"

"She won't be," Rumple assured him. "We have the 911 confirmation call and also the evidence on your phone recording, plus the reports from the hospital on Marie's injuries. That'll be enough proof to show Gaston's guilt without bringing Sella into it."

"Every time I hear that...I feel like a damned fool for letting my anger get the best of me and walking out!"

"Archie, you can't keep beating yourself over the head with guilt," Rumple advised him. "It's a trap that will suck you dry. Believe me, no one knows that better than I do."

"I'm trying not to but dammit...how can I when it wasn't even an hour after I left that he broke in! He broke in while I was at home nursing my stupid pride!"

"You couldn't have known that would happen. And even if you were there, what could you have done? Then we would have had the both of you in the ER and Gisella without her parents. The important thing now is that we get him to pay for what he's done . . . pay in spades."

He sighed. "I just wish Marie didn't have to relive all that again."

"I know. Unfortunately, sometimes we have to walk through our darkest night in order to get to the dawn. She's a strong woman, Hopper. She'll be okay. And she's going to be sympathetic to the jurors, since she's a single parent who was a victim of a stronger man." Gold said confidently.

"Well when you put me up there and ask for my 'professional opinion' on him, it's going to be hard not to say what I really think."

"Yes, but I need you to remain collected, Hopper. I want HIM to be a raging lunatic, not you." Gold cautioned.

"Even when Spencer, pig that he is, is trying to get the dirty details of my relationship with Marie?"

That would be even harder, he mused.

"Yes . . . because you know what details there are and he can't get you to say something that's not true."

"I know but still it's none of their damned business!"

Gold sighed. "It is and it isn't. Spencer wants to show that Marie's a ho, and it's up to me to prove her innocence. And you can help with that."

That he could. They avoided displays of affection in public, they lived in the same house but had separate bedrooms and they always maintained a professional distance at the office.

Rumple heaved a sigh. As always, the burden of proof rested on the prosecution. But he had gathered as much evidence as he could and as many witnesses to testify that Gaston was a man with a hair trigger temper who wouldn't hesitate to use force upon a victim, man or woman.

Archie grabbed his tie off the table and put it on though he rarely wore them these days.

Part of him wanted to use it as a noose around Gaston's neck.

Rumple shuffled forward, gripping his cane, hoping the judge would understand his reason for wearing fuzzy slippers to court. A brown briefcase was in his hand.

Archie glanced down at Rumple's feet and chuckled. "What the hell...?"

Rumple blushed. "It's not my fault. Belle . . . has started getting swollen feet . . . and because of our bond . . . I am too. My Gucci shoes don't fit".

"You couldn't find a more...suitable pair of slippers?" the therapist joked.

"These were the ones that fit. My moccasins were too tight also."

"Judge is going to have a fit..."

"I know it's not proper protocol, but Judge Thomas knows about my Couvade syndrome . . .and since it's a medical condition, he'll just have to deal with it."

"Well you can go barefoot as long as you nail that bastard!"

"I won't need to go that far," Rumple smirked. "Now, let's go in there and beat the shit out of Spencer and Devereaux."

The first witness was the dispatcher who took Gisella's 911 call.

Gold quickly established the time and date of the call and the place where it came from.

Then there was silence as the tape was played.

It was horrifying listening to the terrified five year old begging them to hurry because the bad man was killing her mommy and would kill her if he found her.

Gold's mouth tightened in a grimace of distaste. "And there is proof that on the night of July 23rd, Mr. Devereux did, with malice of forethought, break into Miss Bordreaux's home and brutally assault her, resulting in several injuries."

The next witness was Emma.

"Sheriff Swan, will you please describe what kind of scene greeted your eyes when you arrived at Miss Bordreaux's apartment?" asked Rumple politely.

A horror scene, she thought.

Then she took a deep breath and began her narrative of the events that night.

"Deputy Hatter and I apprehended Gaston outside the building while he was attempting to either flee the scene or go to his car for the gun we discovered in the front passenger seat."

"And why was Gaston attempting to leave, Miss Swan?"

"He believed Marie Bordeaux was dead," she answered grimly.

"So he was attempting to flee the scene of a murder . . .and the victim was a single parent with a small child . . .a child who is the biological daughter of the defendant," Gold stated. "And when you went to check on Marie, in what condition did you find her?"

"Unconscious...her clothes were torn...she had multiple bruises...and there were also defensive wounds...we found a bloody kitchen knife in the hall."

"And in your professional assessment, was Miss Bordreaux trying to defend herself from her attacker?"

"Without a doubt...the blood on the knife was his and there was a cut on his thigh..."

"A cut, ladies and gentlemen, made by a desperate woman trying to fend off the man who was trying to kill her . . .but before that he attempted to rape her as well."

Emma Swan prided herself on being calm in crisis but what she saw that night shook her to the core. She still was amazed how Marie survived it.

Spencer knew there was very little he could do to dispute the assault charge but he was determined to get the attempted rape charge tossed out.

And he was planning on using a temporary insanity defense and had his own expert ready to testify to it. Archie prepared Rumple well to discredit him during cross examination.

Just as he was ready for his own credibility to be attacked when he took the stand.

Rumple was saving his most damning witness for last...Marie herself.

"So, by your own evaluation, Miss Swan, we can see that obviously Mr. Devereaux broke into Marie Bordreaux's house with the intent to harm her and in fact did do so, battering her unconscious and even implied sexual assault of her person." He pulled a sheaf of papers from his briefcase. "Your Honor, I submit these hospital records as Exhibit A testimony that Marie Bordreaux was admitted to the ER of Storybrooke General on the night of July 23rd with multiple injuries . . .including bruising around her groin area, clear signs of an attempted sexual assault."

Judge Thomas took the papers. "Thank you, Mr. Gold."

"No further questions, Your Honor." Gold went to sit down, giving the floor to his opposition.

Spencer bided his time. The person who would cast doubt on the rape evidence was about to take the stand.

At least that was what he wanted him to do without knowing it.

He smiled finding it fitting that it would be her lover that would put the nails in her coffin.

Archie steeled himself for a battle when Rumple called him to the stand.

"The prosecution now calls Dr. Archibald Hopper to the stand to testify by expert medical opinion to the mental state of both the defendant and the victim." Gold said.

And a few other things…Archie thought.

Rumple turned to face his witness and said, "Dr. Hopper, please state your name and occupation for the record."

"Dr. Archibald Hopper."

Gaston glared at him from across the room.

"And you are a certified therapist and psychologist, correct?" Rumple queried.

"I am," Archie replied.

"Dr. Hopper, is it true that you were with Miss Bordreaux before the events of July 23rd?"

"Yes."

"And how would you describe Miss Bordreaux's state of mind while you were with her?"

"She was upset. She and Mr. Devereaux had an altercation the night before. Though Mr. Devereaux was arrested for the incident Miss Bordreaux still didn't feel she and her daughter were safe in the apartment alone."

"So you stayed overnight, is that correct?"

"Yes...I slept in the living room."

They both knew this was going to be one of Spencer's attacking points.

"Did you suggest she leave the apartment and stay with a relative or friend?"

"I did but her sister was not in town and her father was in the hospital himself after having hip replacement surgery."

"And you were there before Mr. Devereaux broke in but left before he arrived?" Gold asked.

"Yes," Archie admitted sadly.

They both agreed it was better to bring up their fight on direct rather than let Spencer do so on cross.

"What were your reasons for leaving if you were concerned over Marie's safety?"

Archie looked down. "I regretted doing so immediately after I left but we...argued."

"And what was the nature of the argument, if I may inquire?"

"I discovered she dropped the charges against Mr Devereaux for their altercation the night before."

"Did she give you a reason for doing so? This was a restraining order against him, correct?" Gold asked, trying to establish a prior pattern of abuse there.

"No. She gave me no reason but I suspected he was threatening her…and Gisella. I suggested she file a restraining order against him but she said it wouldn't stop him."

"Had I known...?"

You were a prize idiot that night Hopper and you know it. Instead of staying there and not letting it drop you walked out...

"So your disagreement was over the fact that you felt Gaston was a threat to her, but she refused to seek help from the law? How long were you gone before Devereaux broke in?"

"I think...about two hours...she called me...but I didn't get her message until..."

"Do you have a recording of the call you received, Dr. Hopper?"

"Yes," he croaked.

"Your Honor, I would like to submit the recording of the call Dr. Hopper received on his phone as Exhibit B, evidence of the distress suffered by my plaintiff." Gold stated.

"Submitted."

Archie buried his face in his hands as soon as Marie started speaking.

"Archie...it's Marie...please call me back when you get this..." She was crying. "I'll tell you everything...I don't want you to break up with me..."

Then a crash was heard.

"MOMMY!" Gisella was screaming. "HE BROKE THE WINDOW!"

"Gisella get up in the bathroom and lock yourself in..."

"You bitch; you're fucking him, aren't you?" Gaston was heard yelling.

"GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

The next thing heard was Marie screaming and a dialtone.

Rumple handed the phone to Judge Thomas. Then he spoke again, his voice grave and laced with anger. "As you can see, there can be no doubt that Marie Bordreaux was in fear for her life .. . .and rightly so, as Gaston Devereaux assaulted her that night with the clear intent to either cripple her or to end her life as evidenced by her injuries. It can also be established that such violence and perhaps even coercion was a regular pattern in their relationship."

They didn't have one, Archie thought bitterly

"No further questions, Your Honor."

"Counselor, your witness."

"Doctor Hopper...on this recoding we've just heard it clearly indicates you are in fact in a relationship with Marie Bordreaux...is that correct?"

"Yes . . .I am dating her."

"Are you in the habit of dating your patients?"

"No . . . but Marie was a friend before she was my patient," Archie replied. "And there's no law that says I cannot do so."

"No but doesn't it present a conflict of interest?"

"In her case, no," Archie replied. "Since she's receiving counseling from me regarding problems with Mr. Devereaux. And I offered to stop counseling her if she wished after we began dating. She refused, saying she trusted me to advise her."

Now he was going to get to the bones of his case...the sexual assault evidence. "You've testified that you spent the night of July 22 at Miss Bordreaux's apartment and left the next day and that you did not share her bed, that's not true is it, Doctor?'

"On the contrary, sir, it is true," Archie argued. "Due to her prior experiences with Gaston, Marie and I have never . . . had relations with one another. I . . . do not believe in sleeping with a woman until I am married to her."

"You expect us to believe you spent the entire night in an exotic dancer's home on the sofa?"

"Yes. I did. I would not dishonor her that way."

Spencer wasn't finished yet. "You said you argued...it got of hand and YOU were the one who attempted to sexually assault Miss Bordreaux and frame my client, didn't you?"

"Objection, Your Honor, he's badgering the witness!' Rumple shouted.

"Excuse me?" the therapist sputtered. Rumple had prepared him for this sort of accusation, but even so, it shocked him. "I did nothing of the kind! Yes, I argued with Marie, but I would NEVER harm her . . .or any woman!"

"Sustained." The judge frowned at Spencer.

"Your Honor, there was no DNA on the bruises and I have the right to present evidence that suggests the perpetrator may be someone other than my client!" Spencer argued.

"He has a point, Mr. Gold."

Rumple was furious. "May we approach?"

The two attorneys approached the bench.

"Your Honor, to suggest that Doctor Hopper is responsible for the sexual assault is ludicrous when the evidence shows it occurred after he was already out of the apartment."

"The hospital staff couldn't say for certain how old the bruises were!" Spencer argued back.

"I am going to sustain the objection for now."

"Doctor Hopper, has Miss Bordereaux told you of any other partners she'd had prior to you?"

When you couldn't play fair...it was time to play dirty and he had a rather nasty surprise for the former cricket.

Archie swallowed hard. "The . . . the only one I know of is Mr. Devereaux, who assaulted her prior to coming to this land and her daughter is his illegitimate child."

"Then you aren't aware of a former client of the Foxtrot...a man named Jonas Harris?"

Marie gasped. Her relationship with Harris was NOT what he was going to make it out to be...but there was no doubt in her mind he found that out from Zelena.

"No. I've never heard of him," Archie admitted.

Spencer handed the judge a stack of papers. "I would like to present this as defense Exhibit A, a copy of the will of the late Jonas Harris that bequeathed the sum of fifty thousand dollars to be held in trust for Gisella Bordreaux until she reaches the age of twenty-one.

"Also Miss Bordreaux was bequeathed the apartment she now lives in in Mr. Harris's will."

"Now, Doctor Hopper, Miss Bordreaux hasn't been very honest with you now has she?"

Oh Archie...I should've told you... Marie thought sadly.

Belle reached for her sister's hand.

"Marie, why did you...?"

"It's not what it looks like," she wept.

Archie was stunned. He couldn't understand why she had never mentioned this to him. But he took a deep breath and rallied all of his courage. Spencer was a snake, full of poison, and he delighted in tearing people down. But he wasn't going to let that happen.

It's over, Marie thought sadly. He won't want me...not now.

She braced herself for the end... as best she could

He looked the defense attorney in the eye. "No, she never told me about this Jonas Harris. But that' her business, and I don't pry into my patient's past unless they bring it up. What I DO know is that Gaston ruined her back when she was still a lady's maid to her sister, Belle Bordreaux Gold, and the adopted fosterling of her father, Maurice Bordreaux. They are witnesses to the fact that Marie bore a child . . . and she named Gaston as that child's father . . .as she was a virgin before he took her . . . a young woman of nineteen. So whatever you're implying happened between Mr. Harris and Marie is false. A simple paternity test will reveal that Gaston Devereaux is Gisella Bordreaux's natural father."

Ha! Take that viper! he thought.

"We are aware of the child's paternity Doctor but don't you find it...odd that a complete stranger would leave an apartment and a large sum of money to complete strangers...unless it was in return for favors?"

That prick, Belle thought angrily.

Rumple scribbled on his notepad. At recess he was going to have Dove do a little digging into this Harris man. And then he was going to make Marie tell her side of it.

"Perhaps he was a person who enjoyed helping others," Archie returned smoothly. "Not all men who have money are misers. Some like to help charity cases with their funds if they have no family. And perhaps he saw Marie as a struggling single parent and wanted to help her and her child out."

"Are you familiar with the private rooms at the Foxtrot, Doctor?"

"Yes. I . . . I was once in one of them." Archie answered.

'It was how you met Miss Bordreaux, wasn't it?"

Several women in the courtroom gasped. Doctor Hopper...in a strip club?

And dating an exotic dancer?

Archie nodded. "Yes. You see, I was there . . .Leroy and his brothers thought I should . . . err . . . have some fun . . . get out more . . . and I thought . .. I didn't know they were bringing me there, they never told me . . .but when we arrived . . . I . . . I couldn't leave, I had no transportation . . . and Marie . . .she asked me if I would like to go in one of those rooms . . .not to . . . do anything . . . but to talk. So I said yes . . . and we did."

His face was red and he was sure he was the color of a strawberry.

"Are you aware that Mr. Harris spent many nights with Miss Bordreaux in one of those private rooms?"

"Objection! Relevance!"

Rumple was furious. Putting the victim on trial was what Spencer was good at.

"Your Honor it is obvious from this document that Miss Bordreaux used her occupation to provide herself with a nest egg for her daughter and a place to live."

"Objection! Speculation!" Rumple shot back.

"Overruled. Continue please, Mr. Spencer."

Even the judge was having his doubts...

"I can't let them do this to him...I can't…" Marie sobbed.

"Marie..."

"They don't know what really happened but it'll be enough to make him doubt me and I'll lose him!"

Marie jumped out of her seat and fled the courtroom.

"Your Honor I'd like to ask for a recess," Rumple said.

"We will resume after lunch," announced the judge.

"I'll go talk to her," Belle said to her husband.

Archie felt like he'd been thrown on the rack and stretched flat.

"Let me talk to her first, Archie," Belle pleaded.

Then she glanced over at her husband. "You are having this checked out...right?'

"Of course I am dearie. I just called Dove and asked him to do some discreet inquiries." He told her. Dove was what he was known as in this world, but in the Enchanted Forest he was Alexander, Rumple's shifter manservant.

"I wish someone would burn that damned club to the ground!" Archie growled.

"Unfortunately, it provides an occupation and a place for people to go for relaxation . . . and however much we don't like it, it's not something that was unknown in our land." Rumple sighed.

"No it wasn't but dammit! It does nothing but ruin lives!"

"You and I look at it like that, Archie, but anyone who patronizes that place doesn't," Rumple soothed. "Don't worry, I'll sort this out. What it looks like isn't always what it seems, dearie."

He raked a hand through his hair. "Why the hell didn't she tell me?"

"Perhaps she was ashamed to admit she took another man's money," Rumple speculated. "She's got a lot of pride, Hopper. She's not a dancer by choice . . . the curse made her one. And sometimes it's hard to admit the mistakes of the past to someone you love. I know that best of all."

"And it looks bad..."

"Yes, it does. But only to those who don't know the truth," Rumple said quietly. "And the people in this town are quick to judge by what it LOOKS like rather than consider facts. And they love good gossip."

"Oh they have plenty to do so about now!"

Rumple grimaced, his expressive face twisting in dislike. "They always do." He'd been the victim of more than his share of gossip over Belle's inability to have kids thanks to Ashley's disclosure of patient confidentiality.

"The next thing you know he'll bring up her giving you a lapdance!"

"I'm not on trial here, dearie, though it's a distinct possibility," Rumple agreed, knowing Spencer, he would.

The day of the manhood intervention Archie sided with the women and knowing most of the men involved he suspected they'd take Rumple to the Foxtrot and called Marie to ask a favor.

"Didn't you ever wonder how you ended up getting her?"

"Uh . . . I thought Belle called to tell her I'd be there."

"No, that was me. Though I was a bit...jealous because I was starting to have feelings for her."

Rumple smirked. "Understandable. But you had nothing to worry about, Hopper. My heart . . . and everything else belonged to Belle long before we were cursed."

"Good because you can get a lap dance from your wife next time not my girl!"

Rumple started laughing. "I might just well do that . . . once Belle delivers that is."

Marie was sitting on a bench weeping brokenly.

Before they got back in the courtroom she was going to ask Rumple to drop the case. No matter what evidence they had she would be seen as a whore who asked for what she got.

Belle came and sat down beside her. "You want to tell me what that was about back there? Who's this Mr. Harris Spencer mentioned?"

"He was an older man who used to come into the club...his wife died years before him and they loved each other deeply. He was lonely Belle and just needed a friend...that's all."

"Okay . . . and why did he leave you all of his wordly goods?"

"He had no other family...none that cared anyway..."

"His kids were waiting for him to die so they could inherit his money. What Spencer didn't read is he left the bulk of his fortune to breast cancer research which was what his wife died from!"

Belle nodded. "So it's like Archie said . . . he wanted to help you because he liked giving money to good causes. That's not something to be ashamed of. Why didn't you ever tell me . . . or Archie?"

She sighed. "I thought about but I was afraid you wouldn't believe me."

"And Gaston said...he said he could make it look like I was a gold digger..."

"So Gaston knew! How'd he find out, the prick?"

"He knew everything about me...where I was, what I did..."

She was constantly looking over her shoulder.

"Mr Harris's death..."

His death was ruled an accident, a fall down the stairs.

Belle's eyes narrowed. "You think Gaston had something to do with it?"

"I know it in my heart ,Belle. He found out Gaston was watching me and was going to go to the police."

"It's too bad we can't prove it." Belle scowled. "But we CAN get him put away for what he's done to you. And we will. Rumple's going to make Spencer eat crow."


	16. The Trial Part Two

~ The Trial, Part Two ~

Bae was keeping his little cousin occupied by drawing funny pictures with her but there was one she drew that caught his attention. It was one she drew of her mother, Archie, Pongo, and herself. Then she added in Rumple, not the way he looked now but when he was still under the Dark Curse. She was smiling as she added some color to the dress her mother was wearing…and it looked like an Enchanted Forest one. Everyone was still recovering some of their memories from their lives there before the curse. He was starting to recall that he met her before and now it appeared she met his father before too.

"Where was this Gisella, that you met my papa?"

"At Granpappy's ball in the big castle," she answered and smiled. "I told him I'd make a deal with him if he helped me find a daddy. Then he got kinda quiet and said I would meet a man who would love me and Mommy a lot…he'd have red hair kind eyes and have a spotted doggie." She beamed. "An' it's Archie! He's gonna be my daddy forever n ever!"

Bae knew his father's Sight was rarely wrong and it wasn't a coincidence that Archie Hopper matched his father's description of the man who would be Gisella's new father perfectly. He put it along with the others she drew in a folder to give to Marie and Archie when they picked her up. He heard his phone ring.

"Hi, honey. How's it going?" Belle inquired softly.

"We're okay, Mama, just drawing. How's it going over there?"

"It's an uphill battle, Bae. Spencer is doing everything he can to drag Marie through the mud….and Archie too…even tried to pin her injuries on him."

"What a dick, though I'm not shocked, especially after what he did to Andi's parents back home. I hope Papa hands him and Gaston their balls on a plate."

"We're working on it. In the meantime, keep Gisella away from the TV or the radio. I don't want her hearing the awful things being said about Marie and Archie."

"Don't worry, Mama. I will."

"Put Gisella on. Her mom wants to talk to her."

Bae handed the phone to the little girl. "It's Mommy."

"Hello, sweetie," Marie said softly.

"Mommy, when are you and Daddy comin to get me? I like being here with Bae but I miss you."

"I know, honey. This will be over soon I promise."

"Kay. Can I talk to Daddy?"

Marie covered the receiver with her palm. "She wants to talk to Archie! What do I say? I screwed up again and she may not even HAVE a daddy now?"

"You don't know that!" Belle cried. "No matter what happens between you two…which I have full confidence you'll work out, he still considers Gisella his so let him talk to her." She grabbed the phone from her sister's hand and took it over to where Archie still stood talking to her husband. "Gisella wants to speak to you."

Archie smiled and reached for the phone.

"How's my princess?" he inquired.

"When you comin' home?"

"As soon as we can. Till then you can draw pictures with Bae and play with Pongo and Major. I'll tell you what: why don't you draw one of you me, Pongo and Mommy so I can hang it up in the office?" he suggested.

While Archie was talking to Gisella a memory flashed before Rumple's eyes. He had them once in a while now that the curse was broken. He saw himself at Maurice's castle while he was still the Dark One with Marie and Gisella. The little girl was asking to make a deal with him so that she could get a new daddy. Then he recalled what he'd seen in a Seer's trance and the description he'd given of the man matched Archie.

_I'm going to keep this family together or my name isn't Rumplestiltskin, _he vowed. And when he walked back into that courtroom he was going hit Spencer and Gaston with everything he had. Oh, he knew he could've used magic but as he did once before during the Allen rape trial, he wanted to prove to everyone he could win without magic. Archie handed the phone back to Belle.

"We'll need to be getting back soon, Archie, or Thomas will hold us in contempt," Rumple said to him. He was glancing over at where Marie sat.

"I'll be along in a minute," he said softly and walked over to her, sitting beside her on the bench while they talked.

"I usually cursed my Sight but in this case it was a blessing," Rumple murmured.

"What do you mean?" Belle asked him.

"I met Gisella…back in our world before the curse hit…and I had a vision when she told me she wanted a new father. And the man I described was Archie…the way he looks now."

Belle smiled softly. "Now I remember. You also asked me to marry you that night…and Bae gave us these." She held up the locket Bae made for her with drawings of Rumple under the Dark One Curse and one with him as the spinner. He found it along with the one for him that held a drawing of Belle while he was doing inventory at the shop a week ago and weaved protection spells in Belle's for her and the baby.

Belle looked over at her sister and Archie again. They were holding each other and kissing. Then she was angry when she saw a photographer hidden behind a bush.

"Son of a bitch! Rumple!"

She pointed to where the photographer was hidden.

There was no way in HELL she was going to let some sleazy paparazzi ruin a tender moment for her sister when she needed it the most.

She wished she had her broom.

Rumple saw red. He made a quick "come hither" gesture and the man and his camera were summarily yanked out of the bushes and hauled over to him. "You wouldn't be taking pictures for your gossip rag, now would you, Mr. Brown?" he demanded icily. "It's not nice to spread rumors!"

"Hey, I have rights!" he yelled.

"Well they've just been revoked," Belle said icily.

Rumple clicked his tongue and gave the reporter a look like he wanted to skin him. "Rights that don't include snooping about in bushes and taking pictures of people and trying to make them look bad. That's called sensationalism, dearie . . .and you can have your ass sued off for slander."

Belle snatched the camera out of the man's hands and let it drop to the ground. "Oh I am so sorry...did I do that? Must be the baby hormones."

"Oh dearie dearie dear," Gold tutted. "Sweetheart, you really have to be more careful. Now it's broken." He made another discreet gesture and the film inside the camera became damaged.

_Take that you sleazebag!_ she thought.

"I'll sue you for this Gold!" Mr. Brown snarled.

"I'll make a note of it on my calendar. I'll fit you in between the arson case and the suit against Etienne Devereaux by the parents of the children who almost burned to death in the fire." Gold sneered. "IF you can afford Spencer's legal fees. He charges through the nose."

"If I were you, I'd just go home and think about changing careers," Belle warned.

"Otherwise you might not have a job to go back to, once your boss gets wind of what you just did," Rumple warned. For he suspected the reporter was trying to make a name for himself on the sly.

Belle smiled with delight as the man scurried away like a rat.

"Let's go, dearie. Before Thomas has my hide for delaying the case." Rumple said, and he took her arm and began to walk back into the courthouse.

Fortunately Spencer was done grilling Archie and he wanted to go home and wash the slime from his skin after what the man put him through on the stand but he wanted to be there for Marie who would take the stand next.

As Rumple approached the podium Spencer snickered. "Only a hick crackerjack lawyer wears bedroom slippers to court. Really Gold? You mean to tell me you can't afford a decent pair of shoes...or are your feet too fat now that your wife's knocked up!"

Asshole, Belle thought angrily from her seat behind the prosecution table.

Archie rolled his eyes and shook his head. "How that man was ever a king is beyond me."

Rumple turned to face his opposing council. "Why, dearie, are you trying to say that because of my attire, which I have a medical condition to excuse it, that I'm some backwoods hick?" He smirked. "And that's supposed to offend me? Don't you know, Spencer, that I'm in good company . . .because Abraham Lincoln was another backwoods crackerjack hick attorney . . . and HE became President of the United States and is one of the pillars of this country." He bowed mockingly. "Thank you for comparison. I'm touched."

Laughter was heard from Rumple's side of the room.

"You tell him, darling," Belle encouraged.

"You won't become president of anything!"

The judge and jury entered the courtroom and Thomas pounded his gavel for order.

"Mr. Gold, are you ready to proceed?"

"Yes, Your Honor. The prosecution now calls Marie Bordreaux to the stand."

Marie trembled as she stood up, until Archie took her hand and gazed deeply into her eyes, the words he'd spoken to her just a bit ago replaying in her mind. She was not going to go through it alone.

Gaston glared daggers at her but she refused to back down. No, she was going sit there and tell them everything he'd done to her...without fear that he would ever hurt her again.

Rumple gave her an encouraging look, his brown eyes comforting. Come on, dearie, it's time to face the devil and spit in his eye, he thought.

I'm taking back my life Gaston, she thought angrily. And this time I'm going to make it much better than the hell I had with you in it.

And now there were no more surprises Spencer could spring on them because she'd told them everything. If he tried, they would be exposed for the lies they were.

Now it was time to tell the jury everything and make them see her not as a whore but a woman who went through hell and back...and survived.

Once Marie had been sworn in, Rumple said, in his old fashioned gallant manner, "Miss Bordreaux, would you please tell the court, in your own words, to the best of your recollection, what occurred on the night of July 23rd?"

"I was on the phone leaving a message for Doctor Hopper...we...ahhh...quarreled earlier and I wanted to try to work things out...when I heard my daughter scream and my living room window was broken. I knew it was Gaston. He'd broken into my apartment a few times before. My first concern was for my daughter...I told her to lock herself in the bathroom...it had the strongest lock in the house."

"You said he'd done this before? How often?" Rumple queried.

"Sporadically...during the curse and after. It got worse when he saw me with another man, even if we were just friends."

"I see. So it appears that Mr. Devereaux has a problem with envy . . .and obsession," Rumple mused. "Go on. After you told Gisella to lock herself in the bathroom, what happened?"

"He came at me...he knew Archie...Doctor Hopper...spent the previous night at my apartment...and assumed we're sleeping together. I told him to get out and he grabbed my phone and broke it. Then he...he dragged me down the hall to my bedroom..."

Rumple gritted his teeth. He knew this was hell for her. "Did he say anything while he was doing this? Make any threats to you or remarks?"

"Yes. He told me that if I didn't give him what I was giving Doctor Hopper he would kill Gisella...Doctor Hopper...my sister and her baby."

Several people in the courtroom gasped.

"So he threatened the life of your family and loved ones unless you slept with him?" Rumple queried softly. "And did you believe he could carry out that threat?"

"Yes..."

"Tell me why. Was there a prior history of him threatening people and then harming them or killing them?"

"I can't prove it but...Mr. Harris...a friend of mine...Gaston once threatened him unless I stopped speaking to him."

"This is the man who left you his fortune in your will, correct?"

"Objection...hearsay!" barked Spencer.

"To which part Mr. Spencer?" Thomas asked.

"There is no evidence Mr. Harris's death was a homicide," Spencer argued.

"Sustained, the jury will disregard the previous testimony."

Spencer smirked at Rumple.

Rumple ignored him. He tried a new tack. "Back in our land, when you were Belle's handmaid . . .you knew Gaston . . .and how did he behave towards you once you were carrying his child? Why did you never reveal who it was who ruined you, Marie?"

If he couldn't establish prior incidence of violent behavior one way he'd do it another.

He was only sorry he had to dredge up Marie's past like this.

"He...started making advances toward me shortly after his engagement to Belle was announced. She informed him right away that she would not sleep with any man unless she was married to him."

"At the time I was being courted by our father's scribe, Pierre. He was a kind boy but sickly."

She glared over at Gaston. "But HE...kept telling me I had no need of a near dead man when I could have a live one...I was appalled. I loved Pierre and didn't want him to die!"

Gaston gave her a cold smile and mouthed the word "slut" at her before Spencer could stop him.

Marie continued on, unafraid. Now she could finally get justice for Pierre if she couldn't for Jonas.

"Pierre's illness...which is what we call rheumatic fever today suddenly got worse...and his doctor was seeing symptoms he didn't recognize. He died two weeks before I became pregnant with Gisella."

"And was Gaston . . .making advances to you prior to that? Was he using his position as a lord knight to take advantage of you?"

"Yes."

"What did he say to you, Marie? Can you remember the exact words?" Rumple pressed. Come on, dearie, give me some fuel for the fire, so I can light it up and watch him burn!

"He said that if I ever told anyone he'd raped me he would denounce me as the village whore and had plenty of friends who could claim they had me too."

"He also said that Pierre took too long to die...the poison he gave him should have killed him in a day."

More gasps and muttering were heard from the spectators.

"Anything else? Did he threaten you if you told your father, Lord Maurice? Or Belle?

"Yes. He said to go ahead and tell Belle...he would just have both of us for his amusement."

In hell! Belle thought.

"The day I planned to tell her the truth. you ahh...showed up and asked her to be your castle's chatelaine."

Rumple's hand clenched. He wanted to turn and hex the spit out of the bastard, but once again his centuries old control and discipline over his magic and emotions held. "So he threatened both you and your half-sister and admitted to poisoning your paramour so he could buy your silence for his deeds?"

"Yes."

"And what made you break your silence on the matter, Miss Bordreaux?"

"Ummm...hearing that you kicked him out of the castle...literally. At least to him being Sella's father...the rest...I want to be free of him!"

"As would anyone who has endured what you have," Rumple acknowledged. He turned back to face the jury. "So we have here prior examples of blackmail and murder to testify to Mr. Devereaux's murderous tendencies and intent to do grievous harm to my client on that night." He looked back at Marie. "How tall are you, Miss Bordreaux?"

"Umm about five four."

"That's not very big, is it, dearie?" he said. "And Mr. Devereaux, according to his mug shot, is at least six two. So we have a clear case of a much larger man assaulting a small woman. Repeatedly, as it was established he'd done so before. Miss Bordreaux, on the night of the 23rd, did Mr. Devereaux attempt to rape you . . .?"

I'm sorry, dearie, but they have to know, he thought regretfully. If he was going to make the accusation stick, there had to be no doubt in anyone's mind.

"Yes, he did. but I wasn't going to let him touch me...not again! There's only one man I would ever want to touch me and he's not sitting in that box!" Marie said angrily, pointing at Gaston.

"What did you do to defend yourself?"

"I...I hit him with my bedside lamp and got to the kitchen and grabbed a knife."

"Did he come after you?"

"Yes...I cut him a few times until he slammed my head on the floor...I blacked out. The next thing I remember is waking up in the hospital and seeing Doctor Hopper."

"And during that time, it can be seen by the hospital records, Mr. Devereaux brutally beat the unconscious Miss Bordreaux . . . and then went out to his car, attempting to leave the scene of the crime . . .but was apprehended by Miss Swan and Mr. Hatter as well as Dr. Hopper."

Rumple paced over to where the smug Gaston sat and pointed at him. "Furthermore, an investigation by the sheriff revealed that HE had a gun, unregistered and illegal, in his glove compartment! And it was loaded!"

The angry muttering swelled to a crescendo.

I'm doing it, Pierre...I'm making him pay... Marie thought.

Rumple continued. "Given this man's prior history of coercion, murder, and assault, it is easy to come to the conclusion that Mr. Devereaux might also have been going out to his car to get his gun and kill the helpless Miss Bordreaux and her child so there remained no witnesses to his crime!" Gold snapped.

"Fortunately, the sheriff and Dr. Hopper managed to arrive at that moment and prevent a tragedy from occurring. Or else we might have been all wearing mourning clothes today!"

Belle was close to tears as she looked up at her brave sister. She knew it wasn't easy for Marie to be up there but she was and now it was Gaston's turn to cower.

"Your witness counsellor."

Marie took a deep breath. Go ahead bastard...do your worst.

"Miss Bordreaux, because some of these events occurred in our old world twenty eight years ago, you have no proof of them other than your word, don't you?"

"On the contrary, sir there are two people who can support my claim of poisoning on Pierre and that I had relations with no man prior to Gaston attacking me...Pierre's doctor and the midwife Antoinette."

Spencer was taken aback but he pressed on.

"And who can support your claim that you've never had relations with a man since then Miss Bordreaux? No one!"

"I won't deny that I have but the relationships never lasted."

"Because they were one night stands in the private room of the Foxtrot, weren't they Miss Bordreaux?"

"No! I have NEVER had sex with any of the customers!"

"But you have behaved provocatively with them...and two of them are in this courtroom right now...Doctor Hopper and Mr. Gold!"

Spencer glanced over at his opponent wondering how he was going to answer for that.

"At least one of these incidents was witnessed by more than one person. Did you or did you not perform a lap dance on Mr. Gold?"

"That was a setup that I worked out with him, his wife and Doctor Hopper. He'd been taken to the club against his will and the men who had him…wouldn't let him go back home until they saw him acting like he was enjoying himself but the whole time he thought about his wife. Were you actually out on the floor and not in the backroom with Zelena at the time you would've known that!"

"People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones...dearie," Rumple hissed, smirking at Spencer.

"I wasn't there," he insisted.

"Oh, weren't you? Why don't I subpoena the club's security recordings to find out…hmm?"

Spencer glared at him. "I have no further questions for this witness."

He would ruin her later with Zelena's help and a surprise witness.

Rumple turned and paced back to where the jury was seated. "I think it should now be clear to you what occurred on the night of July 23rd, and all of you gentlemen and ladies are astute enough to realize that Miss Bordreaux was in danger of having her life stolen and her person violated by that man over there in that chair, who is both a rapist and a murderer. Cast your vote, good citizens of Storybrooke . . . and put away this vile criminal for good and end his reign of terror . . .for if not, who knows . . . you might be next!" Rumple's eyes flashed. "Your Honor, the prosecution rests its case."

"Mr. Spencer, are you ready to proceed?"

Marie returned to her seat.

"I guess Spencer better get ready to eat crow," she joked to belle. "He didn't think I'd call him out on being there the night of the manhood intervention, did he? He's one of Zelena's regulars."

"Oh IS he?" Belle murmured.

"Now that I think about it….I did see him there the night we met, sweetheart," Archie said to Marie. "Was he the one we heard Zelena with….?"

"It could've been but who knows…she sometimes had more than one man in the private room at a time."

Rumple snorted. "THAT doesn't surprise me."

To his delight the first witness Spencer called was Zelena. He was going to enjoy picking apart that poisoning whore.

Zelena sauntered into the courtroom wearing a skin tight emerald green dress with stiletto heels and a low cut bodice. She made it a point to turn so that she could get Archie and Rumple to look at her cleavage. Neither man was interested.

But their women wanted to have themselves a witch roast.

Even more disturbing was how she sat in the witness chair. Archie gagged.

"What's the matter, baby?" Marie asked softly.

"She's not wearing...oh God tell me I'm just seeing things...or I am going to have to soak my contacts in bleach!"

"You may as well buy a bottle Archie. She's not," Rumple grumbled.

"I'm going to throw up..." Belle groaned.

She rushed out of the courtroom. Rumple looked ill also. "Your...Honor...may I be excused a moment..." he gulped.

"All right, Mr. Gold."

The women in the audience smiled dreamily.

"That's still so wonderful how he experiences everything with her," one said.

"I don't think either of them wanted to be sick over THAT," Archie whispered to Marie.

"I don't either but I'm not shocked. Zelena always wants to give guys easy access to the goods."

"Goods?! Now I'M going to be sick!"

"Just think happy thoughts, my Adonis…" Marie encouraged.

That did the trick. A few minutes later Rumple and Belle returned to the courtroom, both of them looking a little better. Rumple kept his eyes as far away from the vulgar display on the witness stand as possible…and so did the rest of the spectators.

The dancer spun quite the tale, claiming Marie was the one who had sex with men in the private room, two of them being Jonas Harris and Archie despite Marie's firm denials.

Spencer looked gleeful at that, then took his seat saying, "No further questions, Your Honor."

"Mr. Gold, your witness."

Rumple rose and approached the witness stand, averting his eyes from Zelena's blatant display of her assets. "So . . . you claim that you have some rather intimate knowledge of Miss Bordreaux's activities with her clients, Zelena? One wonders . . . how are you so knowledgeable? Have you ever seen, directly, Marie servicing her clients in those rooms? Or is something you assume because of her profession?"

His tone implied she was a hypocrite of the worst order.

"She has, especially with him!' She pointed at Archie.

"Both of them are under oath, Zelena. And both say they haven't. Are you saying they'd perjure themselves?" Rumple demanded sharply. "Not everyone has the proclivities you do, dearie . . . as evidenced by what you've got on today . . . or don't." He gave her a wicked sneer.

"Objection Badgering!"

"Sustained." Thomas scowled at Rumple.

"Let me rephrase that," Rumple sighed. But it had felt good to get in a dig at her, the ho! "What evidence do you have that Miss Bordreaux or Dr. Hopper is lying about the extent of their relationship? I want concrete facts, not speculation."

"I...I..."

"Go on. Did you ever see them . . .engaging in intimate activities?" Gold demanded.

"Right outside the courthouse!" The witch sneered.

"We only kissed!" Marie whispered to Belle.

"We know that honey we were there."

Rumple arched an eyebrow. "You said you knew that Miss Bordreaux and Dr. Hopper engaged in physical intimacy inside a private room at the Foxtrot. And she also did so with Mr. Harris. Now, I'll ask you again, what proof do you have to support that theory? And I don't want to hear that's what you THINK . . . I want PROOF. Show me evidence that they lied, Zelena."

He pinned her with his glare. "Are there cameras hidden in those rooms? If so then why did you not bring the recording along to support your claim?" he demanded.

"She may not have with him but she did with YOU!" The jealousy in her tone was quite evident. "Just like her sister..."

Belle grinned. She'd just dug her own grave.

Rumple was amused. "Belle is my wife. It's perfectly natural for a wife to have relations with her husband. Besides, I'm not the one on trial here, dearie. And I assure you there were plenty of witnesses that night to assure you that she refute any and all claims to trying to seduce me right in front of Sheriff Swan there. I was there against my will . . .as anyone will attest to. But that's irrelevant, Zelena. So Marie did not lie when she said she had no relations with Archie . . . or most likely Mr. Harris either. Therefore . . . most of your testimony is hearsay, dearie. isn't it? All your claims are pure speculation. No facts. No proof. Therefore they can be dismissed."

Spencer snapped the pencil he was holding in two.

Rumple shook his head in disappointment. "It's so hard these days to find reliable witnesses, isn't it?"

He couldn't risk calling any more of his bought witnesses or even Gaston. "The defense requests a conference in chambers." He growled.

"We've got him sweetheart," Archie said softly.

"What does that mean?"

"Rumple has him cornered and he knows it...wants to plead out!"

"It means Rumple has him over a barrel and is going to paddle his ass!" Belle whispered. "His whole case was based upon trying to discredit you as a whore . . . but if he can't prove it . . . his case just fell apart," she told her sister gleefully.

"Oh I hope so! I want this to be over!"

Archie did as well. He wanted this whole thing to be resolved and Gaston brought to justice. Then he wanted to go home with his family and celebrate their new life together.

The two attorneys and the judge retired to his chambers.

"All right, Mr. Spencer, what's on your mind?"

But the other man couldn't bring himself to admit to what it was he needed to do.

"If you want to plea bargain, then I'll dismiss the jury and leave that up to you two to sort out. However...WE will be having a discussion about possible perjury charges Mr. Spencer."

Rumple clicked his tongue. "Liars never prosper, Albert."

"Go to hell!"

"You first, dearie!"

"All right enough! Am I dismissing the jury or not gentlemen?"

"Well, Spencer? Your call." Gold said.

"Yes," he said bitterly.

Rumple gestured to the table. "Shall we sit down then and make a deal?" His eyes were alight with satisfaction. And oh, am I going to make you crawl on your belly, you slick snake!

"You can use the conference room down the hall," Thomas said.

Rumple nodded. "Thank you, Your Honor."

Thomas returned to the courtroom, dismissing the jury informing them the trial was delayed for an indefinite period of time and Gaston was returned to jail. Belle, Marie and Archie waited in the courthouse cafeteria while Rumple and Spencer discussed a deal.

"I hope he gets a long prison term." Marie mused.

"He'd have to sweetheart...and no parole board would even think of granting that to him based on what he's done." Archie said.

In the conference room, Rumple was not just arguing for a sentence for Gaston, he was also fighting to get the other man to be forced to pay child support owed for Gisella.

"What's the point of him paying child support when she's going to have the cricket raise her?"

"I'll reduce the sentence from life to fifty years if you agree to Gaston paying a monthly sum of $2,000 for a period of five years, to be drawn from his accounts by a financial advisor," Rumple bargained. "What's the point, George? The point is . . . he's her father! And for five years and more he's dodged his responsibility for her! You have bastards running around, and while they might not bear your name, you've provided for them haven't you?"

"Yes!" he snarled.

"Then so should he. Fair's fair."

Rumple went in for the kill. "Or do you want to face me again in a courtroom over child support laws in Maine, dearie?"

"No...son of a bitch. Agreed."

Rumple pulled a document from his briefcase and wrote rapidly. "Sign on the dotted line, dearie." He handed Spencer his gold ballpoint. "And remember-no one breaks deals with me!"

Spencer nearly tore the document while signing it and tossed it across the table.

"Oh dearie dearie dear! You really must learn how to lose gracefully, Georgie," Gold chided. "What WOULD your mother say?"

He stormed out of the conference room without speaking another word.

Unfortunately for him, an angry mob of women was waiting for him outside.

Rumple giggled softly, like the imp he once was and took the document and then started out the door.

Belle, Archie and Marie met up with Rumple in the hall.

"Is it over?" Marie asked hopefully.

"As soon as I present this to the judge, it is," Rumple assured her. "We've won, dearie! You're free!"

Archie laughed joyfully and picked Marie up spinning her around.

"Oh! Be careful...!"

"You're as light as a feather, my goddess."

"I love you..."

"I am so proud of you darling...You did it again," Belle congratulated her husband.

Marie threw her arms around her brother in law as soon as Archie set her back on her feet.

"I don't know how to thank you…" she sobbed.

Rumple hugged her and patted her back. "This is thanks enough . . . that the bastard is behind bars and you're free of him forever and so is Gisella. Don't cry, dearie. Or else I'll start."

"I...already am..." Belle wept.

Rumple's own eyes misted. "Ahh . . . now look what you've started!" he pretended to be annoyed, but he was grinning.

"May as well join in Rumple," Archie said, tears in his own eyes.

The attorney allowed a few tears to fall from his eyes too. After all he was with family and they understood.

"I think we should all have a nice family dinner tonight," Belle suggested. "After all...we do have something to celebrate."

"I agree," Rumple said, wiping his eyes with his handkerchief. "Who's cooking?"

The women smirked. "You both are."

"What are you making, Archie?"

He thought for a moment. "Well I was thinking chicken parmesan...you can handle that, can't you?"

"Can I handle it? Hopper, what do you think I am . . .a dullard? I'll make the pasta and sauce . . . I'll have time if I speed it up a little with magic . . . and garlic bread."

"No magic!" Archie scolded. "If I have to do it the old fashioned way, so do you!" he challenged.

"Then we'll be eating at 10 o'clock!" Rumple shot back. "I don't make jar sauce, dammit!"

"Neither do I."

"Baby, he's right...your sauce takes hours to do."

"If I started it this morning, fine, but it's past two o'clock," Rumple sighed. "Otherwise d'you think I'd use magic?"

"Fight nice boys..." Belle teased.

"Oh I'll let it slide...for now…but if he enters the cook off he better not cheat."

Rumple glared at him. "I never cheat! What cook off?"

"The chili cookoff Granny hosts...Archie has been the champion for years," Marie said proudly.

"Hmm . . . I never participated in that. Not really my thing. Now a bakeoff . . . I can beat the pants off anybody . . .my chocolate peanut butter cookies are like Nirvana on a plate."

"Oh really?" Archie quirked an eyebrow.

"Really, dearie. And you'll see when the shower comes."

"Honey...you don't want Gisella to tell them what your brownies looked like…"

"Okay so I can't bake worth a damn."

"I can't do anything except eat the food," Belle laughed. "So don't feel bad."

"Well when your daughter wants to use your brownies to play hockey it's a bit harsh..."

"At least she didn't throw them out on the road and declare them roadkill!"

"And neither of you made a stove fly out the window!" Rumple informed them laughing.

"Who did _that?!_" Archie exclaimed.

"Guilty," Belle sang.

"It was back in the Dark Castle," her husband said. "And it's why she's only allowed in the kitchen to make tea."

"Oh gods...I wish I'd hopped in the castle while I was a cricket to see THAT...I would've laughed my wings off!"

"You'd still be laughing," Rumple agreed. "Bae almost wet himself."

"Knowing Belle it had to be because of her temper...she's got a nasty one. Love you sis," Marie added.

"Aye, but to be fair . . . I was being a bit of a rascal and teasing her."

"It runs in the family...she and Sella can make me run for cover when they get in a snit."

"Then you're lucky you married men who are calm and even tempered," Rumple smiled. "Mostly."

"I did...now when are you two going to tie the knot?" Belle asked.

"When I feel she's ready Belle."

Little did he know it would take a former witch's vengeful potion introduced into his tea a week later that would accelerate things a bit.

"Well, let's go home...I want to see my Sella..."

When they stepped out of the courthouse they were shocked to see the Furious Women of Storybrooke chasing Spencer around.

Several of them held bags of feathers.

"How dare you! How DARE you do that to that poor woman!"

"You oughta be strung up by your balls!"

"He's got it coming from ME too!" yelled Barbara Allen.

"Hang his ass on the flagpole!"

The two couples watched the scene their mouths agape.

"Watch out Sheriff Swan might..."

"I'M PART OF THE MOB!"

"Oh...my God...!" Belle giggled.

"I warned him once . . .women aren't the weaker sex at all . . ." chortled Rumple. "Now he's finding that out the hard way."

"Oh I'll say..." Archie chuckled.

They finally managed to corner the lawyer, coat his clothes with glue and throw the feathers on him.

"Maybe we ought to give them a few pointers," giggled the former Dark One. "Hey, dearies! Do you need a rail?"

"Any man who hurts a woman in ANY way is a CHICKEN...AND A COWARD!"

Regina, who was watching the scene, stepped up to Rumple. "Shall we?"

"Yes . . .I've wanted to do this for a long time."

"Don't tire yourself, darling..." Belle said gently.

"With me anchoring him it won't drain him," Regina informed her.

The two mages combined their powers, creating a rail on the street for the angry women.

"Time to get on your horse, Spencer!" hooted Barbara.

"You tell him honey!' Snow encouraged.

Marie stepped forward, raised her foot and kicked him in the groin.

"Hope that hurts as much as you hurt me for what you said about me and my Archie, you bastard!"

"Here, dearie!" Rumple twirled his finger and a familiar broom appeared in his hands. "Go join the party."

Belle smiled evilly and took her faithful companion in her hands.

"Save some for me, ladies..."

"It take she's ummm...lethal with that thing?" Archie asked.

"You have NO idea!" her husband smirked wickedly. "She could send a battalion of ogres fleeing for their lives."

"HOMERUN!" hooted Emma as Belle delivered a hard smack to Spencer's backside.

The group chased the feathered attorney down the street except for Belle and Marie who rejoined their men.

"We've worked up an appetite and need to be fed," Belle said to her husband.

"Yes, dearie," Rumple laughed. He patted her belly. "I suppose you're hungry too, aren't you, baby Gold?"

Her stomach growled in response.

"I'll take that as a yes," Gold grinned. "Okay, a stor," he murmured to the baby. "Your papa's cooking."

"What's that mean?" asked Marie.

"Tis Gaelic, lass. For my treasure," Rumple replied.

"That's so sweet," she said softly.

Rumple smiled. Then he started laughing as he saw that the mob had put Spencer on the rail and were running him, literally, out of town.

"Good riddance to bad rubbish I always say," Archie said bitterly and put his arm around Marie's shoulders.

Rumple dusted off his hands. "That's what happens when you get a woman really angry, dearie!" Then he started laughing again. "I'm surprised they don't have Zelena there with him."

"She probably ran with her tail between her legs back to the Foxtrot," said Belle.

"She did just lose her gravy train," Marie pointed out.

"And speaking of gravy...get cooking!"

"Let's go back to the house," Rumple said, his arm around Belle. "I'm sure Bae's already eaten the cupboard bare."

When they did arrive home Bae and Gisella were out in the yard with the dogs playing fetch.

Pongo and Major were trotting about the yard, each holding onto one end of the same big stick.

"C'mon...bring it back!"

Both dogs ran over to Gisella and dropped the stick at her feet, wagging their tails.

"Good doggies...now…you wanna get it again?"

Major barked.

"Okay...goooo get it!" She tossed the stick.

As the stick flew through the air and both dogs raced after it, the Cadillac pulled up.

"Bae! They're home!" Gisella cried excitedly.

Bae turned and jogged over to the car. "So . . . how'd it go? You win?"

"Princess?" Archie called for his daughter.

"Daddy! Mommy!" The little girl raced over to her parents, nearly knocking them down.

"How could you doubt it, Bae? Your father won't settle for anything less in a case like this," Belle said.

"I don't," her son laughed and hugged them all.

"Did you have fun with Bae?" Marie asked her daughter.

"Uh huh...an I drew a picture...see?"

She handed them the Enchanted Forest picture she drew. Then she looked up at Rumple. "You told me who my daddy would be."

"Yes, I did. But I wasn't sure if I was right. Now I guess I was, huh?" He picked her up and hugged her. "How would you like to help me make garlic bread?"

"Are you gonna help cook too, Daddy?"

"I certainly am."

She made a face. "Uncle Rumple...you gotta teach Daddy how to make brownies right...I don't wanna eat hockey pucks."

"I'll try, dearie. And chocolate chips too," he grinned. "Shall we have that for dessert?"

"Oh thanks a LOT Sella," her father grumbled.

"Well you do and if you mess em up again I'm throwing them out on the road and yelling "Get Your Roadkill!'"

"I can make chocolate shakes," Bae started laughing. "I remember once I told my mama, Milah, that her biscuits were like rocks," he recalled. "And she told me I was a cheeky brat . . .and spanked my butt. And you had a fit, Papa."

"Daddy doesn't spank me...unless I'm really bad."

"Most of the time a time out sets you straight."

"That worked for him too . . . most of the time," Rumple nodded at his son. "That's why I was angry at Milah. Because that's not something I'd have spanked him for. Kid was being honest. I almost broke my teeth."

"I'm banned from the kitchen except for teatime..." Belle said.

"Surely you can help me do Jello molds without causing chaos!" Maire said to her sister.

"You hope!" Bae snickered.

"Oh come on...how hard is it?"

"What kind of milkshakes do you want?" he asked then. "Vanilla or chocolate?"

"We'll have chocolate ones," said Marie, indicating herself and Archie.

"You may as well make one big one for them...they'll share it anyway and make out." Gisella said.

"Papa will too," Bae said knowingly, then cracked up again.

Archie frowned. "That means a certain little girl was up past her bedtime."

"I had to go to the bathroom! And what did Mommy mean when she said you had a hickey when you got home from the drive in?"

"Well I see a LOT of things run in the family!" Belle giggled.

Bae was holding his sides and leaning against the Cadillac, hysterical.

The couple was blushing.

"Well...they were having a John Wayne movie night and one of them was McClintock...our favorite..."

"What's THAT gotta do with a hickey? What's a hickey, Mommy?"

"Okay, Little Miss Curiosity," Rumple said, trying to distract her. "Help me make the bread and the sauce . . before we starve tonight."

"Kay!"

"Now, I need you to get the butter and the loaf of bread, and I'll get the garlic," Rumple told her. "Bae, come in here and get me the cans of tomato puree and crushed tomatoes."

Archie took off his jacket and put an apron on over his shirt. "Do you have any chicken thawed Rumple?"

Marie and Belle stood in the doorway with identical smiles on their lips.

Gisella set the loaf of bread on the counter in front of her uncle along with the butter.

Then she looked over to see her father hitting chicken breasts with a meat mallet. "Why are you beating the chicken up, daddy?"

"Have to...flatten it."

"Now watch me chop the garlic, dearie," Rumple said, and removed a very sharp knife from his butcher block. He began chopping up the peeled garlic bulb in quick strokes, mincing it neatly.

"That's gonna go on the bread like that?"

"It is, once I melt the butter and stir it together. Then you brush it on, along with some parsley, garlic powder and some parmesan cheese," Rumple said.

Archie passed over a bowl of cheese he'd just finished grating. "You need more than that?"

"No, that's good, thanks." Rumple finished chopping up the garlic, then melted the butter in his microwave. "So . . .after you chop up the garlic, you mix it with the butter . . .but you're not allowed to touch my knife, Gisella. Do that and you'll be in serious trouble with me."

"I know Daddy tells me not to either."

"And what else are you not allowed to touch?" her father quizzed.

"The stove."

Bae nodded. "Yeah you don't wanna get burned like I did." He showed her a small scar on his right wrist. "Got that because I didn't listen."

"Ouch! I almost did and Daddy got mad."

"Because that is what happens when you do," Archie said, pointing at Bae's scar.

"I was around your age when I got that," Bae recalled. "I thought I could get tea by myself . . .and instead I spilled boiling water on my wrist because the teapot was too heavy. I never did that again."

"I tried to turn the burner up cause the steak he was cooking was taking too long."

"Bae, you nearly gave me heart failure several times," Rumple sighed.

"And you, Princess almost burned our house down," Archie scolded.

"That was when he had to spank me," Gisella said.

"Yeah, Papa would have done it to me . . .but my burn hurt worse than any spanking," Bae said, opening the cans of sauce for his father.

"You need any help, Daddy?"

"No, I'm fine Princess." Archie was mixing up his special breading.

"You can help me get the spices," Rumple said. "Do you know your spices, Sella?"

"Show him, Sella," her father said with a smile.

"What'cha need?"

Rumple called out a spice. "Oregano! Parsley! Garlic Powder! Basil!"

Archie watched with pride as his daughter retrieved the items from the spice rack just like he taught her to do.

Bae went and got the sea salt and the crushed red pepper flakes. "Here, Papa."

She set them all down on the counter in the order he called them out.

"Very good!" Rumple said. "How did you know where they were?"

"Cause I get them for Daddy all the time."

"Excellent! Bae, get me a Vidalia onion."

Archie was dipping the chicken breasts into his breading mixture and laying them out in a glass baking day he'd sprayed. Once that was finished he put them in the oven and shredded more parmesan and mozzarella cheese, setting the oven timer for fifteen minutes.

Gold chopped an onion into small pieces and added it along with two cans of water and the sauce to a large pot. He sprinkled in all the spices he'd gotten from Gisella and the salt and a small bit of red pepper from Bae. "Now . . . I'm going to speed this up a bit with magic . . .so it cooks faster, otherwise this will take hours."

"There's nothing more sexy than a man that can cook," Marie said dreamily.

He set his hands on the pot and concentrated. There was a flicker of purple magic . . . and then Gold set the pot on the stove and turned the burner on to simmer. "An hour and it'll be done."

"You'll need to Rum...these just need to bake with the cheese and then I'll be ready for the sauce."

"Yes, let me boil the water for the pasta," he said, and got another large pot out and filled it with water, salt and a dash of olive oil then set it on the stove also to boil. He set a large strainer in the sink. "Bae, Sella, set the table, please."

"Now remember your settings Sella!" her father called out.

"Ummmm...I'm not allowed to touch knives Bae. Daddy says so."

"Right. Okay, I'll get those," he amended. "You get the cups . . . they're plastic," he indicated the shelf where there were colorful tumblers in different colors.

Fortunately it was low enough for the child to reach.

Bae set the plates down on the table, gently nudging a dog out of the way with his foot. "You wanna fold the napkins?"

"Uh huh!"

She'd been practicing her folding since he taught her how to do it. "This okay?"

"Brilliant!" Bae nodded. "Mama taught me how to do that."

"Daddy was going to teach me till I told him you showed me how."

"It's not hard," her cousin said, setting down the knives.

"He's very good with her," observed the psychiatrist.

"Bae likes kids. Like his father," Belle said.

"I never thought...back in our world and to some extent here...I'd ever have a chance to be a father..."

And how do you like it?" asked Rumple curiously.

"I wouldn't trade it for anything even being a cricket again. It was a lonely life."

Rumple nodded. "Family is the best thing."

"Marie...Belle...ummmm would you mind going into the dining room for a bit... I need to talk to Rum..."

Marie smirked. "Man talk?"

"Something like that."

Rumple looked at him inquiringly after the two sisters had left the kitchen.

"I've been wracking my brains trying to figure out when and how to ask Marie to marry me and that I want to adopt Sella but when I try to do it...I lose my nerve."

"Ah. I know how that feels. It took Maurice's harvest ball to get me to do it. Actually . . . it took Belle almost dying by Zelena's hand to even get me to admit I loved her."

"Oh I already know I love her...but I don't want to rush her into commitment...especially after..."

"Then perhaps you just need to wait for the right moment," the other suggested. "You'll know when the time is right."

"And it's so hard being in the same house...her room not far away..."

Rumple nodded. "I know. For us it was even worse . . .some of the furniture in my castle was enchanted by my predecessor . . . and they talked about everything!"

"The only gossip I have to deal with is from the busybodies in this town who think I need my own therapist for getting involved with her."

"They'll hush once they start thinking about something else."

"I just don't want her dragged through the mud any more than she was during the trial."

"Then you need to practice your meditation, Hopper," Rumple smirked. "Or ask her soon."

"I feel like I'm back to being the son of my thieving gypsy parents...can't do anything on my own...have to be told..."

"But you're not. Just like I'm not the village spinner coward. And with the results of this trial . . . i think opinions in this town will change pretty quickly towards her."

"I hope so. She needs that."

"The one good thing that dirty dog Spencer did was they showed Marie as the innocent victim in this whole thing with Gaston. And now people will stop thinking of her as a loose woman."

"One thing that bothered me is people accusing her of trying to change me because I'm dressing differently, don't wear my glasses that often and go to self-defense classes."

"They've said the same thing about me," Rumple said. "They claimed Belle had me whipped. What they don't understand is that nothing can MAKE you change-it has to come from in here," he tapped his heart. "You have to WANT it. And I did. I changed back to the man I was before the Dark One. Which was a man who loved a woman and wanted to be the best he could be . . .for her, for Bae, and for me."

"Before the curse broke...I started getting tired of being on Regina's leash over Henry..."

"I can see how you would be. The Mills women . . . are very demanding . . ." Rumple said wryly.

"In fact, they can be downright bitchy," the pawnbroker remarked.

"And then…that night when the dwarves dragged me off to the Foxtrot and I saw her...I thought I was seeing Aphrodite herself but I'm no Adonis."

"To her you are. Like Belle, she sees your heart, not what's on the outside. For so long I was convinced I was a monster that no one could love, I was hideous and ugly. But Belle . . . she saw my heart . . . and she made me see that despite my scales and claws, I was still beautiful to her."

Archie looked over at Gisella's drawing that he hung on the refrigerator to look at while he cooked.

"Did you really See me being her father?"

"I did. But my Sight is not always reliable . . . meaning sometimes things don't happen as I See them . . . or they happen differently or not at all. Visions don't always mean what you think they do. Seeing is an imprecise art."

"But in this case it was..."

"I did. But my Sight is not always reliable . . . meaning sometimes things don't happen as I See them . . . or they happen differently or not at all. Visions don't always mean what you think they do. Seeing is an imprecise art."

"But in this case it was..."

"Yes. But I still wasn't sure . . . and then a few months later the Dark Curse was cast . . ."

"Most of that time is a blur for me."

"As it is for me."

"The only bright spots in it were being with Henry...and seeing Gisella in the park before I met her mother."

"Mine was finding Bae in my shop trying to rob me . . .and discovering Belle was Bae's reading teacher."

"He's come a long way from the smart ass you brought to my office."

"He lifted a few things while he was there too."

"Oh gods! What were they?"

"A paperweight and a pen set."

"I'll get him to give them back."

Archie chuckled. "I bought them back from your shop."

He grinned. "And I added it to your bill."

"That kid! I could throttle Regina sometimes for doing what she did. He was a scamp before, but not dishonest. But I'm working hard to remind him of the way he used to be."

"Be glad you got him out before that fight...I'm still treating some of those kids."

"I can imagine. The gods were kind to me, Archie. I could have lost him."

The timer to the oven went off.

"But you didn't," he said, putting on his oven mitts

Rumple stirred his sauce and then put the pasta in the water. "No. And I got Belle back too."

"That sauce ready enough for me to top these?"

"Yes. Go ahead." Rumple handed him the ladle.

He carefully ladled sauce on each chicken breast and added mozzarella and parmesan cheese, putting the dish back in the oven and setting the timer for ten more minutes.

"Is it safe to come in yet?" Belle called out.

"Yes. We're done telling each other our deep dark secrets," Rumple chuckled.

By the time the chicken was done, so was the penne and Rumple ladled sauce over it and set it on the table. The garlic bread was done also and he sliced it and put it on a plate. "Dinner!" he called to the children in the den.

Gisella ran into the room until she was given a stern Look from her parents.

"Everything looks delicious," Belle said.

"Oh it will be," Marie murmured.

Bae poured drinks for everyone, then fed Major and Pongo so they wouldn't beg at the table. Afterwards he sat down next to Gisella and said, "Looks great, guys! Now can I eat? I'm fading away."

"Nuh uh...if you was I'd see your bones."

Bae tweaked her nose. "Smartypants. Want me to cut up your chicken?"

"Sure!"

Bae did so, then took two pieces himself and a rather large serving of pasta and two slices of garlic bread. Lately he was always starving.

"Where are you planning on putting all of that? We're the ones supposed to have an appetite?' Belle teased.

"Don't worry, I'll eat it all," her son assured her. "I don't waste food."

"Growth spurt," Rumple said sagely.

"Oh that...the joys and pains of it." Archie grimaced.

"I never had much of one," Rumple remarked. "Was starved too much as a little boy thanks to my rotten papa."

"I had to work off mine picking pockets...not that I enjoyed it."

"Daddy! That's bad!" Gisella scolded.

Bae flushed. "He's not the only one. When I was a Scorpion . . . I could steal the fillings outta your teeth and the shirt off your back and you wouldn't know till you felt the wind blow."

"Like a pen set and a paperweight?" Archie joked.

Bae went red. "Umm . . yeah." He gave the therapist a guilty apologetic look.

"We're not all perfect, Gisella, we make mistakes in life but we learn from them and teach others not to repeat them...so you remember what we teach you," Marie said.

"And no matter what, your family forgives you for making them," Rumple stressed.

"You still should be in time out," the little girl said.

"Sella eat,"

Bae smirked. Then he began to eat eagerly.

"This chicken is excellent," Rumple said, eating his piece.

"Thank you Rumple."

"I told you Belle...your husband has competition," Marie bragged.

"In the same family it's not completion, dearie. It's cooperation," the sorcerer laughed, as he ate his penne.

"Besides...I'll make him a deal...if he wants my breading recipe he has to improve my baking skills so my daughter stops declaring my efforts roadkill."

"You have a deal, Archie. You watch me make my brownies after dinner," Rumple agreed. Then he lifted a glass in a toast. "To our family . . .and victory over that scumbag Gaston and Spencer."

The others lifted their own glasses in salute.

"Is the bad man gonna be someone's prison bitch?" asked Gisella.

Archie spit out his milkshake. "Gisella!"

Bae almost choked on his garlic bread.

Marie scowled. "Someone has an appointment with Dove soap after dinner."

Rumple shook his head. "Dearie, where did you hear that?"

"Eti the Yeti...he said Mommy was gonna be one."

"That miserable b-" Bae began.

"Baelfire!" Rumple snapped. "You want to taste Ivory instead of brownies, mister?"

"No sir," his son said, bowing his head.

"Daddy I don't wanna taste soap."

"You heard your mother...after dinner."

"Awww!" she groaned.

"Do you want time out with that?"

"No. Sorry." she sniffled.

Bae shot his cousin a commiserating look. Sometimes it sucked being a kid . . . but he wouldn't trade his family for anything.

Belle and Marie took the kids into the living room to watch TV while Rumple conducted baking lessons with Archie in the kitchen after dinner.

When they were finished Archie brought his brownies out to his harshest critic to try.

"She's going to toss them right out on the road...I know it…"

Gisella bit into one . . .and chewed slowly. Then she looked at her daddy. "They're good!"

"Oh thank the gods!" He breathed a sigh of relief.

Rumple laughed. "I've never known anyone yet who's turned up their nose at my brownies."

And they all agreed.


	17. A Shower of Surprises

17

**~A Shower of Surprises~**

Rumple was awake early making some of the food for the baby shower that day that he hadn't been able to make ahead of time a few days before and freeze. The chicken parm, lemon garlic wine chicken, meatballs, and eggplant rollatini had all been made ahead of time and were now defrosting on the dining room table.

He was currently making deviled eggs and egg salad and tuna salad pinwheels, with colored bread to roll them up in, blue for the egg salad and pink for tuna.

Rumple had just slid a pan of mini teriyaki wings and another of buffalo wings out of the oven when the doorbell rang. When Major didn't bark an alarm he knew it was someone in the family.

Belle was in Rumple's office printing out activity sheets for the guests. The previous night she, Marie and Gisella worked on the party favors they would hand out to each guest. They were small baby bottles filled with candy.

"We're heeeerreeeee!" Gisella sang out.

"Hey, scamp! You sound like the kid from Poltergeist," Bae laughed.

"The kid from what?" she asked.

"Never mind. You're not watching it till you're older," her father said, a large crockpot in his hands while Marie carried bags from the grocery store.

"It's a scary movie you're not allowed to watch yet." Bae told her.

"Yeah, Daddy doesn't like scary movies and neither does Mommy. They watch old stuff."

Her cousin laughed. "So do mine." Bae led the way into the kitchen, his nose twitching at the aroma coming from it. "Papa, can I have some hot wings?" he begged. "I gotta take something for me and Andi to eat on the fishing trip." He was going fishing with his girlfriend while the shower was going on.

"Bae, I will fix you something before you leave. Don't pester me now," Gold ordered, his mind trying to do ten things at once.

"Okay, don't have a cow!"

"I'm coming, Rum!" Archie called out knowing how stressful having to do a lot of cooking was.

Bae snatched a deviled egg from the tray Rumple was lining them up on. "Mmm . . .!" he said then yelped when his father swatted his hand with a wooden spoon. "Oww! I'm hungry!"

"Get your sticky fingers out of my food!" his father snapped exasperatedly.

"Sticky fingers in a kitchen get swatted...don't they Sella?" Archie asked his daughter.

"Ummm...yeah...but I was hungry."

"Yeah, see?" Bae pointed out.

"There's plenty of food in the fridge, go eat it," Rumple said. "But leave the food for the party alone. If I have any extra, you can have it."

"Sella, go help your mom and Aunt Belle."

"Okay Daddy!" the little girl skipped off to the office.

Bae hung around the kitchen, hoping to sneak some wings when Rumple's back was turned. He grabbed a can of iced tea from the fridge and sipped it, leaning on the counter and watching the men cooking.

Major lay by his feet, hoping something would fall on the floor.

"Sorry we were running late this morning, Rum but that daughter of mine did not want to get out of bed this morning...and gods is she cranky when she first gets up!"

"Uh-huh. Like that one over there," he jerked his thumb at his son.

"Then my damned deep freeze went down and I had to throw a lot of stuff out which is why we had to go shopping."

"Always something," Gold sighed, and crossed off three things on his list-wings with sauces, deviled eggs, and pinwheels. He wrapped the tray of deviled eggs and pinwheels with plastic wrap before floating them into the fridge.

"I'll start the cornbread after I get my chili in the crockpot...I'm thinking I should've brought the roaster instead."

"My oven's big enough . . . and I'm not using it to heat anything. I've got magic for that, thank the gods. No need for Sternos and risk a fire starting by mistake," his almost brother-in-law replied. He had an industrial sized oven that could fit two twenty-five pound turkeys if necessary.

While the ground beef was cooking on the stove, Archie chopped up onions and green peppers to toss in with it along with several packs of Roast Beef seasoning taken from packs of Ramen noodles.

Bae was drooling by then and watching for his chance to snatch some wings from the foil pans cooling on the counter.

Rumple went to get some ingredients for his redskin potato salad out of the fridge and the pantry.

Archie set a container with more of them and roast chicken ones for Rumple on the counter so he could duplicate his chicken breading recipe.

The former thief saw his chance then and grabbed a large spoon from the counter and scooped some buffalo wings onto it and began eating them.

He'd only managed to finish one when his hand was smacked with another spoon.

Rumple turned around and saw his son wolfing them down, sauce all over his face. "Baelfire! Must I send you to your room for time out?" he cried.

"Oww! What the-?

"Apparently you haven't learned your lesson," Archie smirked, holding the punishing spoon in his hand.

"The smell's driving me crazy!" the boy protested, sucking his fingers.

"YOU'RE driving me crazy!" Rumple said.

"Bae! Stop pestering your father!" yelled Belle from the office.

"Okay! My God, you and her with the hormones!" he muttered.

Belle now stood in the kitchen, her hands on her hips. "Baelfire Gold! Did you EAT some of the food for the party?"

He gave her a guilty look. "Umm . . . yeah . . . only a little though."

"Well that's the last time...OUT!" she pointed to the door.

"But Mama . . ."

"Yes, go and walk Major." Rumple agreed.

"OUT! O...U...T...Out!"

"Okay! Okay! C'mon, Maj! Let's go, before they end up having a meltdown . . ." Bae sighed, and picked up the dog's lead.

Major bounded to his feet, eager to go out.

Belle felt like she was going to have a meltdown. They wanted everything to be perfect for their baby shower, one of those things being making sure they had enough food for their guests.

"And while you're outside, check the stakes on the tent and make sure they're set right," his father called.

"Okay, Papa," Bae called, and then they heard the door slam.

"Impudent rascal!" Gold muttered. "Another minute of his sassy mouth and I was gonna break my own rule and tan his behind for him!"

"I have a feeling I may have to deal with this if Marie has a baby," Archie sighed.

"Yeah . . . and just wait till Sella's a teenager . . .it might be worse with girls," Rumple sighed. He began putting cut up potatoes in a pot of water to boil, then chopping up some celery and red onion.

"I'm going to have to stand on the porch with a shotgun! Marie already bought me that t-shirt with the rules for dating my daughter."

Rumple laughed. "If we have a girl, I'm going to have to get her an Everlast Chastity Belt . .. or else all her boyfriends are gonna end up slugs in the slug museum . . . or in the garden as lawn gnomes."

"It's going to happen sooner for me than you since Sella is already five!"

"Poor you! I'll send Bae over to help you. Whatever boys get past him and his fists you can shoot." Rumple said, and began mixing up his special mayonnaise dressing to put on the salad.

"I can throw a punch or two...those classes I took can't go to waste though I would have preferred to punch Gaston to a pulp after what he did to Marie!"

"Yes . . .I'd have preferred he be castrated like a rogue bull," Rumple said sharply. "With a dull knife and no anesthetic! But at least he's in jail for the foreseeable future, no parole, and has to pay child support for Sella."

"Then there's the bitch Zelena..." Archie chuckled. "I STILL cannot believe she's now a green goat!"

Rumple smirked. "Well, you know what I always say, Hopper. All magic comes with a price! She thought she could get away with hurting someone in my family . . .again . . .and I just proved her wrong . .. again."

After the trial Zelena took her revenge on them by stealing a potion from Regina's vault that turned Archie back into a cricket. Rumple drained himself to the point of exhaustion to try to reverse it but it had been Gisella, clever child that she was that suggested her mother change him back with True Love's Kiss and it worked. Immediately after, he asked Marie to marry him. Rumple, not wanting Zelena to harm anyone else in his family decided fitting justice was to turn her into what Bae described her as back in the Enchanted Forest...a goat.

It was too bad, Rumple reflected, that Elmira had ever brought Zelena with her to visit Cora just before the curse was cast . . . and Regina had decided to bring the spoiled harpy to the new world to punish her for trying to kill her own sister in order to be the one to cast the curse with Cora. Had she been left behind . . .they wouldn't have had her to deal with. But what was done was done. And at least now she couldn't hurt anyone else.

"Would you like me to grate some cheddar cheese for the chili?" Rumple asked Archie. His potatoes had to cool before he could mix everything together.

"Can't be chili without it," Archie said. "I will tell you though...this is the mild form of the one I do for the cookoff. That's called Hopper's Hotter Than Hell Chili." He laughed. "The first year I entered everyone thought I'd never place."

"Yeah, we don't want the women suing us for starting bonfires in their stomachs . . . especially since some of them are elderly ladies who probably have easily up set digestive tracks," Rumple said. "But Bae and I will have to try the one you make for that. He loves spicy food . . .and I do too, when I'm not messed up from pregnancy hormones."

"I warn you...have plenty of water ready because your mouth will be on fire...and Leroy...has a habit of drinking beer when he eats my chili."

"And gets drunk off his ass," chuckled the wizard. "I'll make sure I eat plenty of cornbread . . .that'll soak up the hot peppers."

"Graham said once he was going to haul me off to jail for overpopulating the drunk tank."

"Ha! It's not your fault those yahoos don't realize that the way to put out hotness isn't with beer, it's with bread . . .followed by some water."

The chili was ready to go into the oven. While it was cooking Archie started working on the cornbread.

Rumple started grating cheddar off a block of sharp Wisconsin, and then chopped up some green onions as well. "There's sour cream in the fridge too." He said, and then sighed. "I miss my enchanted kitchen. It was always so amusing cooking with them. Especially my salt shakers."

Archie laughed. "I can't believe I forgot about them...I just find it strange my memories of the time I spent in your castle didn't come back until Marie kissed me as a cricket."

He was referring to his staff back at the Dark Castle which had been enchanted into furniture and other inanimate objects by Zoso. And they had become like an extended family to him, Bae, and Belle.

"That was Cora's doing," Rumple remarked. "She did that on purpose, muddled up your memories."

"Uh . . . what happened to them once the curse was cast?"

"They remained behind in the castle. And to prevent them from being lonely and missing us, I put them into an enchanted sleep. Same with my goat Bess, and also put a spell on them to halt aging . . .they'll be asleep until I return to the castle again one day."

"The only reason why Cora messed with my memories is because I tried to help Regina," Archie said angrily. "And do you want to go back there?"

"Yes. After the baby's born. But maybe not permanently. Perhaps we can spend half a year at the castle and half a year here in Storybrooke. After all, my baby will have ties to both worlds, like we do, so no reason why we can't live in both."

"There isn't anything there I would want to go back to...but you know Marie...if Belle goes she'll want to."

"You're always welcome to stay at my castle . . . which I think I'll have to rename now that I'm no longer the Dark One."

"True...my opinion of you changed not long after I arrived. Now...it did take a bit longer to change my mind about Marie...she's still a feisty woman."

"But they're the best kind. They're not afraid to speak their mind to you and they like being partners. They also aren't bitches who enjoy humiliating you and treating you like dirt, like Milah."

"The hardest thing I ever had to do was say goodbye to her that day..."

"It tore me apart losing Belle and Bae, so thank the gods I couldn't remember it," Rumple said. "I would have been a basket case. And easy prey for the Dark One to take hold of me again."

Not wanting to dredge up painful memories, Archie changed the subject to something else. "Do you and Belle know what the baby is yet?"

"No. Belle and I opted to not find out. I know that in this world a lot of people do so, but . . .I want to be surprised and knowing isn't going to really change the theme of our nursery and shopping for the first clothes, since a baby grows so quickly, we can always personalize the wardrobe when it's a little older. Since this was a miracle and an unexpected surprise to begin with, we felt we should have it continue to be so till Belle delivers. Besides, in our old realm, it would be the same . . .and that's half the fun, not knowing."

"Then you and Belle have already begun to shop for the nursery? What theme have you chosen?" Archie asked curiously.

"Yes. And we decided the theme should be something about favorite children's books, and Bae painted scenes from several of them . . . like Narnia, Jungle Book, Dr. Seuss, Beauty and the Beast, and some nursery rhymes on the wall. The playroom next to it continues with more storybook characters," Rumple explained.

Bae had really enjoyed that project and did a wonderful job, making the characters so life like they almost seemed real.

"Sella already wants her room redone!"

Rumple laughed. "She needs to talk to Bae about the artwork then."

"I had to draw the line at a dartboard with Zelena and Gaston's pictures on them. Not that I don't blame her but...she's had enough violence in her life."

"Yes. I said the same thing to Bae when he wanted to make an effigy of Etienne and burn it," Rumple chuckled.

"I'm hoping after the wedding things settle down a bit..."

"Yes. Well, by then I should be done with most of my cases and have some free time before Belle delivers."

"Regina told me the other day I HAVE to be in the cook off for the festival or else..." He sighed. "At least this year she's doing something different and making it a team event."

Rumple raised an eyebrow. "What's that mean?"

"Well before one person submitted something, this time she wants everyone in groups for the cook off and the games...you get to pick your team name, have your own flag and tent...I forgot...you never went to the festival during the curse."

"Anyway...the bake off was separate but she's combining all the culinary events into one."

"And since I'm actually baking this year . .. I'll give them some competition." Rumple said. "You've never tasted my peanut butter chocolate chip cookies, but you will today. I made them for this shower."

"So then I won't have Granny saying she'll wipe the ground with me?"

Rumple shook his head. "No. She's good . . . but I'm better. Trust me."

"I have to tell her today who is on my team and what our name is." He thought about not asking because he thought the Golds would be too busy but Marie, who knew how much he loved the event insisted he work up the courage to ask.

"But if you're ummm..busy...Marie, Sella and I can do it..."

"No, I'm not. And I'd be proud to be on your team." Gold answered.

"You would!?" his eyes lit up. "Marie!"

"What is it honey?"

The psychologist was grinning from ear to ear. "I think we may sweep the festival this year."

"Ooo...Daddy...I wanna do the sack race with Bae!" Gisella cried excitedly.

"I'm sure he wouldn't mind," said her uncle. "He likes races."

""I doubt I'll be able to do anything," Belle said sadly. "I'll be as big as house by then."

"Aunt Belle you and Uncle Rumple can do the kissing contest." her little niece spoke up.

"You could judge the kids' stories for the Best Creative Story," Marie said.

"Oh I forgot about that...I always did judge them!"

"And we could always do the other one too," Rumple agreed.

Archie laughed. "You DO have to come up for air once in a while you know."

"Look who's talking!" Marie teased her fiance.

Rumple stirred the drunken hotdogs on the stove and asked, "So are you two entering it?"

"No...only one couple per team but when it wasn't a team event, yes we would have...give you two a run for your money," Marie added with a wink.

"You think, sister dear! Rumple and I can outkiss any couple in this town!" Belle boasted.

"And show those youngsters that an old married couple can still light their fire!" Rumple smirked.

"You'll have to get a room!" Bae called from the doorway and unhooked Major from his leash.

Major ran into the kitchen and sat down before Gold and offered his paw.

Pongo lay under the table by Archie's feet.

"Hey Bae, we're all gonna be a team for the summer festival...you wanna do the sack race with me?" asked Gisella hopefully.

Belle and Marie went outside to start decorating the tables and chairs Bae set up for them while he was outside. There was a bassinet filled with gifts and each guest could choose one to take home.

Bae thought about it while Rumple gave Major a biscuit. "Yeah, why not?" During the curse he'd never participated in the festival . . . except to pick pockets and use the fact that people were all away from their homes to burgle them.

"Yeah 'cause I wanna beat the dirty undies off that mean Mikaela Gordon!" Gissella said angrily.

"Who's that?" Bae laughed.

"Some mean girl in my school...she says my mommy's a ho and my daddy's a moron for marryin her and I wanna kick her butt!"

"And what did I say about that Gisella Bordreaux Hopper?" her father demanded sternly.

"Just 'nore her...but Daddy..."

"No buts. You're not getting into fights at school and that's my final word on it."

"And who does THAT sound like Rumple?' Belle asked her husband but she was looking at their son. They came back in the house to bring out more items when they heard Archie lecturing Gisella about fighting. All they needed to do yet outside was take out the food and set up the buffet table. Bae kept trying to snatch cookies off one of the trays while Belle was carrying it outside. She swatted his hands away. "Stop it or your father will ground you for a month and I'll make you write the longest essay of your life on manners!"

Her son sighed. "Then I want some for my fishing trip today. If I wait till I get home, they'll all be gone!"

Rumple just looked commiseratingly at Archie. "Been there and done that."

"I've been to the school about it twice and no one seems to want to do anything with that damned girl because she's related to Spencer."

"Figures. That family and the Devereauxs are like bad pennies. Always causing trouble and showing up when you don't need them to." Gold scowled. "If necessary I can go talk to the brat's parents, threaten to slap them with a lawsuit for bullying that'll take them the rest of their grandkid's lives to pay off if they don't teach their child some manners."

The laws regarding bullying in school had gotten a lot stricter since Storybrooke was founded, and Gold was prepared to use that for all he was worth if the brat persisted in her persecution.

"There's a few of them that do it but the Gordon girl's the worst."

Gold's mouth tightened. "Then it's going to stop. I make an example out of her and the others will think twice . . . or else."

"Do it, Papa," Bae urged. "Now that Eti the Yeti's going to juvie and so's Savannah probably, nobody dares to talk trash about you around me."

"What bothers me about is they're all girls who have someone working at the Foxtrot."

"Probably Zelena's influence," muttered Belle. "Or their parents are jealous that Marie has found someone who loves her despite her past and they haven't. Sour grapes."

"That's what I'm thinking because I went with Marie the day she quit over there and those cats wanted to claw her eyes out."

"Jealous witches," Rumple growled. "They make their own choices, no reason to take it out on innocent children. They can quit too . . .only they don't want to lose the money . . .like Blue. Respectability comes with a price too."

He put the hot dogs into a serving bowl. "Either way, I don't care why they're doing it, what matters is making it stop. So unless they want to be bankrupt and living in a cardboard box they're going to make these kids mind their mouths."

"I hate having to add another lawsuit on you but I'm at my wits end."

Had they lived in any other town, he would've had the option to move his daughter to another school."

"It's what they deserve," Rumple declared heatedly. "I'm sick and tired of these bullies not being put down hard for their attitudes. This the age where it starts . . .and needs to be nipped in the bud. And if the parents aren't going to stop it . . . I will."

"I almost got thrown out of the principal's office because I lost my temper at one of them...and called her some not so nice things."

He recalled too well the misery of growing up with the stigma of bastard and coward and other hurtful comments during his childhood, causing him to have no real friends except the women who took care of him.

Rumple grinned. "Good for you! Show those petty cats you're nobody's doormat, Archie!"

"Yeah the hypocrites!" Bae sneered. "Tell 'em to look in the mirror!"

"I think I shocked Lydia Gordon the most when I asked her how much more plastic she was going to invest in."

Bae and Rumple cracked up. "Good one, Archie!" Rumple sniggered. 'What did she say?"

"She just stood there with her mouth open and then I said you might want to close that before it attracts flies and crickets wouldn't go near it with a ten foot pole."

"Nice one!" the former Dark One said, his eyes sparkling wickedly.

"Well, insult my daughter and Marie and this cricket speaks loud and carries a big umbrella!" Archie said, picking up the crockpot and carrying it outside.

"Family defends family," the pawnbroker said approvingly.

It was something the psychologist learned well the moment Marie and Gisella entered his life.

Once the food was set up on the table for the party, Rumple returned to the house, and as he had promised, began making a cooler for Bae to take with him on the fishing trip. He put in all the food he had made for the party in small amounts . . .including his Golden Delights, which were what he called his peanut butter chocolate chip cookies. Then he handed the cooler to his son and said, "Here, Bae. See, I didn't forget you."

He had taken the food from the extra trays and pans he'd made, as he always made extra.

"Thanks Papa...better get going before the fish stop biting!"

"Yes . . .and make sure you come up for air while you still have bait on your hook!" teased his father.

"I know how to fish Papa...you wait...I'll come home with some of the biggest fish you've ever eaten!"

"I look forward to it. And hopefully you do, scamp." He ruffled his son's hair.

A horn beeped in the driveway and everyone was shocked to see Regina stepping out of her Mercedes, her arms loaded with gifts.

"I wanted to stop by and deliver these in person," she said.

Belle smiled at her. "Thank you, Regina." She took the gifts from her and put them on a table reserved for them. "How's Jason settling in?"

"Just fine...Henry likes having a brother...oh...Marie one of those is for you and Archie."

She glanced over at Archie. "Jason will need some sessions set up...been having nightmares."

"Of course. Call my office Monday and I'll set up something. Would you like to be present for them?"

"Yes...he prefers it that way."

"It's what I prefer too in such a young child," the therapist said.

"You might have an opening that day Archie," Marie told him.

"You can check my schedule when we go in Monday," he said calmly.

"I'll be able to check it on the laptop at home since I keep a backup there."

"Okay. If I do, we'll call you," he promised the mayor.

"And do you have an answer for me about the festival?"

Archie nodded. "Yes. It's going to be me, Marie, Gisella, Rumple, Belle, and Bae."

"And your team name?"

"How 'bout Spinning Crickets cause Uncle Rumple spins and Daddy likes crickets?" Gisella suggested.

Bae smiled. "Cute, Sella. Or how about Golden Wishes, since all of our wishes, except one, have come true and it's a play on my last name?"

"Kay...what wish didn't come true yet?"

"The baby my mama has needs to get born," he reminded her.

"Oh...and Mommy and Daddy gotta get married!"

"Yes, that too," agreed Bae.

"You want that for your name Archie? Golden Wishes?' inquired Regina.

"If everyone agrees..."

"Sounds fine to me," Rumple said.

"I love it." Belle murmured.

"So do I," agreed Marie.

"Me too!' Gisella said.

"All right, Golden Wishes it is then. Just remember to have your team flag ready for the opening ceremony march."

"We will, dearie," Rumple said. He gave her a small plate of Golden Delights. "Here, take this home to your boys."

"Those smell delicious...Granny is going to flip her lid when she realizes she has competition."

Rumple grinned wickedly. "Good. A little competition never hurt anyone."

"I'd better get going before my boys start worrying. Enjoy your gifts."

"Thank you, we will!" Belle assured her.

"I like her better now than I did during the curse," Marie said.

"Yes," agreed Belle. "It seems she's finally started to put aside her need for revenge and look at this as a chance to try and do things differently . .. for herself and the children she's raising. "

She also agreed to wearing a binding bracelet that limited her use of magic.

One of the unknown prices of casting the Dark Curse was an addiction to dark magic, and to limit the influence it had over her and her actions, she had asked Rumple to create the bracelet after he revealed that unknown price to her.

She also agreed to regular counselling sessions with Archie over her anger issues and her painfuol past.

In addition, in the Storybrooke cemetery, she had erected three marble vaults, one for her father, one for Daniel, and one for Graham, whom she had killed to keep from going over to Emma's side before the curse was broken. She still visited his grave daily, apologizing to him for what she'd done. Though he would never be able to forgive her from the grave, it brought her some comfort just to sit there and talk to him.

"She still has a lot of things to work out," Archie said softly.

Taking in Jason was another way she could make amends for the way her half-sister had treated the small child, who was going to be three very soon, as Zelena had him when she was fourteen.

"As do we all," Gold said. "I'm surprised you're not swamped with patients."

"I was at first but things are settling down."

"A few of them were busybodies that don't like the idea of seeing me when they walk into his office," Marie said bitterly.

"Oh, tell them to shut up and deal with it!" Bae said.

Just then he heard the sound of Mark's horn beeping in the driveway, and grabbed the cooler and his fishing gear and called, "See ya! Have a good time opening up all the gifts. Gotta go!" Mark was dropping them off at the lake.

"I'd like to but I'm every inch the professional at work."

"Later alligator!" Giselle called after him.

Several more cars pulled up. Ruby, granny and Snow were in the first car, Mallory and Tiana were in the second and Barbara Allen and her grandmother were in the third.

A fourth car came up and Mrs. Muffet and her niece, Angela, got out, whom she lived with after getting divorced from Homer on grounds of irreconcilable differences.

Next Elmira Gulch rode up on her bicycle.

Major whined at the number of strangers intent on invading his home, but quieted when Gold gave him a signal to relax.

The ladies set their presents for the couple on one of the empty tables and took their seats after choosing a surprise gift from the bassinet.

There were at least fifty women in attendance, a higher turnout than they expected but thankfully they had enough room and food for everyone.

Emma arrived a few minutes later, carrying a large box.

"Fashionably late honey?" joked Snow.

"Yeah. Jeff was driving me nuts about some football game he was watching with Dad and I forgot the present because I was so annoyed with them and had to go back and get it." She indicated the large box wrapped in stork paper.

Marie snorted. "Some men! Not these two.." she pointed at her fiance and brother-in-law.

"There'll be none of those silly manhood interventions if Doctor Hopper goes through the same thing Rumple is when you have a baby, Marie," the baroness said.

"They're the ones who cooked all the food for the shower," Belle said.

"Not if I have anything to say about it," Rumple cried.

"Ummm...we ahhh...have to get married first..." Marie said nervously.

"Do you have the nursery ready yet?" quizzed Mallory.

Belle passed around some pictures they took of the nursery after it was finished. "Our son is quite the artist," she said proudly.

"And you still don't know yet? Why not?"

All the women praised Bae's talent and Mrs. Muffet said, "And polite too. He held the door open when I was going into the supermarket the other day."

"A gentleman...like his father," murmured Belle.

"Unlike that hoodlum Devereaux boy," scowled Dana, the mother of Missy and Timmy whom Bae and Andi had saved.

"That one had manners worse than a pig!" Granny snorted. "Used to come into the diner and order a huge breakfast and leave poor Ruby a quarter tip! And a mess all over afterwards."

"And the worst thing you can do is not tip a server properly. Even I know that!" Archie exclaimed.

"And I told Myra Harte she needed to put her foot down with Savannah," Elmira said. "But she wouldn't listen to me . . . let her daughter run wild . . .going out to all hours with that rogue boy, giving her an attitude . . .humph! No wonder the girl turned out like she did."

Mrs. Muffet rolled her eyes. "That wouldn't have been MY daughter! But Myra was always a meek little thing. "She's just high spirited" she used to say. That kind of high spirits needed curbing with a slipper to her behind!"

Elmira nodded. "The stories I could tell you about her, right, Belle? Once she told her mother to shut the F up! At the parent teacher conference I had with her because she was failing my class!"

The other women gasped.

Emma frowned. "Any kid of mine who spoke to me with such disrespect would have been eating Ivory and been grounded for a year."

"Mommy what's shut the f up mean?' Gisella asked her mother.

"Never mind and if I hear that word coming out of your mouth Gisella Bordreaux Hopper you'll be tasting Dove." warned her father.

"And time out and a swat too," Rumple added. "It's not something you should ever say . . . especially to your parents."

"Ooooo so it's the BIG dirty word that Eti the Yeti uses?"

"Yes." Rumple nodded.

"Okay I won't do it cause I don't like tasting Dove. It sucks."

They all laughed at her honesty.

"Can we play games now?"

"We have to eat first, Sella," her mother answered.

"And we have all the food out here on the patio," Belle said, leading the way outside.

Rumple and Archie would serve the food to the guests, with Archie serving his chili and Rumple the rest of the hot dishes, as well as telling everyone what was there.

Snow glanced down at Rumple's feet clad in slippers. "Swollen feet. One of the worst parts of being pregnant."

"Don't I know it. And Belle's are worse than mine."

"You boys didn't have to go to all this trouble...we could've served ourselves buffet style," said Elmira.

"That talk Rumple gave those idiot men did some of them good but not my Bill," grumbled the baroness.

"It's no trouble," Rumple said gallantly. "This way you know what's there so you don't take something you don't like."

"I do have certain allergies," Elmira admitted.

"Toned down the chili a bit eh, Doc?' Granny teased.

"Yes, since some people can't tolerate the full recipe," Archie replied. "But you'll have the original version for the festival."

"I'm trying out a new recipe this year...festival needs a queen of the cook off this year not a king..."

"You might want to rethink that, dearie. Since I'm participating in it too," Gold informed her.

"Oh, are you?" asked Mrs Muffett. "Granny we're in trouble because these boys are good cooks!"

"Thanks! And may the best cook win!" Rumple said.

Of course he was confident he would win for his Golden Dream cookies.

"That'll be me," Granny boasted with a grin.

And Archie wasn't called the chili king for nothing.

"I would love to take some of this home," Snow said.

"So would I, to show my husband a man can actually cook!"

"You can," Rumple said. "I have Tupperware."

The baroness smiled. "Any good cook does, dear."

"And just wait till ya taste the dessert!" Gisella bragged.

"Oh and what is for dessert, sweetie?" asked Ariel.

"It's not roadkill cause Uncle Rumple cooks real good and now Daddy bakes good too."

"Because Rumple taught me," Archie chuckled.

"Sella!" Marie groaned, shaking her head.

"Uncle Rumple made his Golden Delight cookies . . .an' a chocolate cake with bananas in the middle . . .and umm . . .I forget what else . . ."

"A marble cheesecake and parfaits, princess," her father supplied.

"Yeah that. Yummy!" she ate a pinwheel, smiling.

After everyone finished eating the men gathered up all the dishes that the women weren't going to use and put them aside to be washed.

The women all had some of the food and desserts set aside in Tupperware containers to take home for later.

Ruby nearly inhaled her Golden Delights, finding them amazing.

"This strawberry parfait is...divine!" exclaimed Tiana.

"Oh god...this cheesecake...sinfully delicious," Emma purred.

"If I eat another bite of this chocolate cake, I'm gonna gain ten pounds!" said Barbara Allen.

"You only live once sweetie," said her grandmother, reaching for another slice.

"You're right," Barbara laughed. "And if a guy doesn't like how I look-tough cookies!" Then she got another slice.

"Now can we play games?" demanded Gisella.

She flashed Mr. Gold a worshipful smile as she did so, since he had helped bring her assailant to justice.

Belle was getting used to the adoration her husband received now on a daily basis but whether she was bothered by it depended on who was doing the fawning.

She couldn't begrudge Barbara her adoration after what she endured.

And with Barbara, the adoration wasn't really physical attraction but more of a hero-worship . . . since after her experience with Keith, Barbara didn't trust men . . .except for her saviour, Mr. Gold.

And Doctor Hopper.

Archie smiled at his patient. She'd come a long way from that frightened young woman who first came to his office. It took weeks for her to finally be comfortable enough to discuss the cursed Spencer again remembering well how traumatized she'd been when he tried putting her on trial as he did Marie.

"I'm glad that bastard Spencer is gone!" said her grandmother. "Nasty man...trying to do to you what he did to my Barbara!"

"Shoulda turned him and the bad man into bugs an squished em," muttered Gisella.

Rumple couldn't help but agree with her . . .and if this had been their old realm, where justice was of a different, more brutal sort . . .he would have done so . . .once they'd been convicted of their crimes.

"And I'm glad that Zelena is a goat for what she did to my daddy!"

"Amen!" muttered Elmira, who had once been Zelena's tutor in magic.

She had never met a more spoiled, vindictive, envious child in her life . . . and that was saying something, considering who she used to be.

"All right ladies, we have a ton of word games first...baby crosswords, baby word search...baby word scrambles..." Belle announced.

"And what's the prize?" piped up Gisella.

"We have them over in the crib...you get to pick one," answered her mother.

"Ooo goodie!" she clapped her hands. "Will you help me? I can't read so good yet."

"Sure sweetie."

Rumple and Archie handed out copies of each kind of puzzle for the women and Gisella to solve. Then they went to refill the coffee maker and wash some of the dishes while the women were solving the games. The first ones done correctly would win a prize.

"I can't wait to see them do the bottle contest," Archie chuckled.

Rumple also fed Major, though the shepherd seemed full . . . probably because of all the food he'd been given under the table by women cozened by his imploring eyes.

They were going to have a baby bottle drinking race and guess the contents of the diaper.

Then there was Baby 911, with a doll Rumple had enchanted for this game. The women would be in teams nad have to deal with some kind of emergency with the baby, and whoever did the correct thing won a prize . . .besides just calling 911.

One of the last games they would have was an auction where they would bid on surprise gifts and the money would be donated to the Storybrooke Orphanage.

Snow finished hers first and chose a small prize from the crib, a gift card to Mallory's.

They even allowed Gisella to pick out a prize and she found a wool scarf made by Rumple that matched her winter coat.

She was so excited she almost spilled her cup of milk.

"Sella, sweetie, be careful!"

Then Rumple and Archie returned and had each table be a team and have to guess what was in each "dirty" diaper . . .there were melted candy bars in them and whoever got all five right won a prize.

"Ewww...looks like poop in there!" Gisella wrinkled her nose.

"It's not, poppet," Rumple assured her. "But you have to guess what it is. Would you like a hint?"

"Ummm...yeah."

"Okay. It's a what you call a famous candy bar," he whispered in her ear.

"But Uncle Rumple there's lots of em!"

He spread his hands. "Well, pick one. It's also a place you can visit in Pennsylvania."

"Ooh I get it...Hershey!"

Rumple clapped and said, "Write it on your paper, dearie. That's one out of five. Here comes a new one. You can smell it too."

"Okay but if it was real poop I wasn't sticking my nose in it...that's gross!"

"Now would I do that to you?" he mock-frowned at her.

"No..."

"Well, there you go then."

She sniffed the second diaper. "Ummm...is it a Butterfinger?"

"Write it down, and I'll announce what they are at the end," her uncle said.

"Okay."

She moved onto the next one and wrote down what she thought it was, hoping they could read it.

"All right, is everyone done guessing?" Belle asked.

"Yes!" they all chorused.

"Okay...let's see...Rumple...who is our winner?"

"Elmira Gulch!" he announced. "The answers were-Hershey bar, Butterfinger, Reeses peanut butter cup, Mounds, and Pay Day."

"Sounds like someone has been eating a lot of candy again and she shouldn't..." Snow scolded her fellow teacher.

Elmira scoffed. "One once in a while doesn't hurt my pretty."

"It does when you have diabetes, Elmira!"

Her prize was a certificate to the Stoyrbrooke Animal Shelter . . .good for one free adoption. "I hoped you'd win this," Gold confided when he handed her the prize.

"I think I'm ready for another friend now..."

"And there's one waiting for you," he assured her.

She hugged him. "Thank you dear."

"Rumple, ready to explain the next game?' Belle asked her husband.

"Sella, why don't you color us some pages while we do this one?" her mother suggested.

"But I wanna play with the doll!"

"Ummm...it's not to play with for this game, Princess." her father said.

"Awww!" she pouted and stomped her foot.

"Gisella, if I have to start counting you're getting a time out."

"Okay, attention please, ladies!" Rumple called. He began to explain the rules for the Baby 911 game. "Now . . .the doll is enchanted to simulate a real emergency . . .like choking, fever, ect . . . and you get points for identifying the problem and for dealing with it correctly. This is something some of you have already had to deal with or gods forbid may have to one day. So it's also good practice just in case."

"Daddy, that's scary!"

"Now do you see why I said it's not to play with?" Archie asked his daughter.

"Uh-huh."

Of all of them Emma had the most difficulty recognizing some of the problems the baby was having and ended up needing to call 911 most of the time.

When it was over . . .Marie and Granny tied.

"It's a good thing I'm not gonna have a kid anytime soon," the sheriff laughed. "Because the poor thing would be in the hospital more than it was home."

"Now you'll know if you do have one," Marie told her.

"Only if my boyfriend moves his butt and marries me this time."

"Speaking of boyfriends moving their butts and marrying their girlfriends..." Mrs. Muffet began and soon all eyes were on Archie. "What are you waiting for Doctor?"

"Yes, you already live together and though you don't share a bed...you should get married soon or tongues will wag," scolded the baroness.

"Umm . .. I know that," Archie blushed. "I'm . . .um . . . working on it."

"Rumple...smack some sense into this boy!" ordered Mrs. Allen.

Smirking, Rumple cuffed his future brother-in-law on the back of the head." That good, dearie? Or you want Belle to get her broom?"

"We should just elope!" grumbled Marie.

"You will NOT!" cried Belle.

"What's elope mean, Mommy?"

"A quickie, secret wedding."

"Why would you wanna do that?"

Because I doubt anyone besides family will be there, Marie thought sadly.

"Never mind...let's start the next game...the baby bottle drinking contest and you can do this one, Sella."

"Yay!" Gisella said.

"Okay, here are the rules: you have to fill your bottles up to the eight ounce line with water and drink them like a baby would...no squeezing the bottle and no biting the nipple. First one done wins," Belle explained. Then she handed bottles to Rumple and Archie. "You have to play too."

"Ready, Hopper?" Rumple grinned challengingly.

'You think I can't do it? Watch me."

"Ready...get set...GO!" Belle shouted.

Rumple began sucking away, and the water was going down fast.

"Come on Sella !" Marie cheered. "Come on Archie!"

"Leave them in the dust Rumple!" Belle encouraged.

Rumple almost had the bottle finished, sucking hard on it. But others were very close too.

"Done!" Emma announced holding up her bottle.

"Drat!" Rumple sighed, he'd come in second.

"Aww crap I was close!" whined Gisella.

"All right Emma, pick your prize."

The sheriff rooted through the gifts in the crib and took out a large box. In it was a coffee maker, one she desperately needed for the station since theirs was broken.

The last game was the auction . . .with the surprise gifts.

Belle and Rumple labeled each package giving vague hints as to what was inside and several of them were prank gifts like a pack of toilet paper.

It took everything they had to laugh when Archie won the bid at sixty dollars for the toilet paper.

"A good way to keep clean...funny one, Rum," he muttered.

Gisella giggled. "You bought toilet paper, Daddy!"

"I know, princess, but it's for a good cause . . ." he laughed.

"Well I can cross that off the shopping list," Marie said.

"A whoopie cushion? Really Rumple?"Emma asked.

"You can play tricks on Jeff," he smirked.

"This tea set is lovely," remarked Elmira.

"So is this Ninja blender," Barbara said.

"Are you gonna open your gifts now Aunt Belle?"

"Yes," Belle said, and went to sit down in the "throne of honor"-a recliner Rumple had brought out so she could put her feet up.

Marie handed her Regina's gift first since she was not at the baby shower. The young mother to be opened it and was stunned to see a christening gown inside.

"Ohhh...Rumple...look!" she gasped.

Rumple examined the tiny gown of silk and satin with seed pearls sewn into it and a lace cap. "It's beautiful, Belle. The one who made this was a master."

"Here's a note. 'Belle, he may not remember this but Rumple made this for me when I was a baby but my mother refused to use it...wanted to throw it away but my father saved it. Now I return it to him. It's only fitting his own child should wear it...Regina.'" she read.

Rumple's hands caressed the gown . . .and he remembered then. He had spent painstaking hours sewing this, using special sharp needles to sew the silk and the pearls on with gold thread he'd spun. There were even matching little booties.

"I didn't know you made a christening gown for her," Belle said to him.

"Yes . . .because even though I disliked Cora with a passion . . .her daughter was only a wee baby . . .and I did like Henry."

"It doesn't surprise me Cora wanted to throw away something so beautiful...as long as it wasn't hers it didn't matter,' mumbled Elmira.

"Well . . .now it's come full circle . . . " Rumple mused and thought how strange were the workings of fate.

"This one is from David and me," announced Snow.

Belle opened the box to reveal a plush rocking horse, complete with a comeable mane and tail and a real leather saddle and bridle. The rocking horse had a special infant seat you could attach to it to rock a baby until the baby was old enough to sit on it and rock itself.

"Very nice, dearie" Rumple said, chuckling. "It would have to do with horses, knowing your husband."

"This next one is from me dears," announced Elmira. The former wicked witch bought a large plush lion that looked like the cowardly lion from the Wizard of Oz.

"Oh! How lovely!" Belle exclaimed. Barbara gave them a lovely layette set and also a bunch of books for the baby's library . . . "Because if this little one's anything like it's mama it'll come out born reading."

Archie, Marie and Gisella bought them onesies with funny saying on them. One said I'm Cute and So Is My Daddy and another said Mommy's Little Bookworm with a picture of a worm with glasses holding a book on it.

Mrs. Muffet had chipped in with her good friend Pat Allen and the two had bought a four in one stroller/infant car seat . . .complete with soft baby toys.

Emma had gotten them a diaper bag with everything they could possibly need inside it . . .including a book called Baby 411. And a little shirt that said Just a Cute Little Bundle of Trouble with Lady and the Tramp on it and matching socks.

Granny and Ruby's gift was a mobile with roses and spinning wheels on it made by Geppetto.

Everyone oohed and ahhed over that.

The baroness's gift was a set of rattles and pacifiers.

Others gave gifts of feeding dishes, bottles, a bathing sponge and bath toys, lots of clothes, a diaper pail, burpees, and other things a baby might need.

Rumple's gift was all the nursery furniture . . . save for the crib, which was from Maurice.

"Everything is wonderful, thank you all so much!" Belle wiped tears from her eyes.

"That's from me, Mama," Bae announced, coming into the backyard with Andi.

Andi held a small wrapped package in her hands.

"Bae! Where did you . . .how did you get the money to pay for this?" Belle sputtered.

"Uh . . . I worked afternoons for a lot of people around here, and in Papa's shop." Bae said.

"What is it Belle?" Marie asked.

It was a baby cradle hand carved by August. . .with a painted headboard of a sheep jumping over the moon. "That's my painting. I thought it needed something."

"It's beautiful..." Belle sobbed and hugged her son.

"And this is from me and Mark," Andi handed her the package. Inside was a beautiful appliquéd bib with a blue butterfly on it and the words "Love is hope, and here's a miracle." "Umm . . . I made it. One thing I still remember how to do that my mama taught me is to embroider." The girl said shyly.

"It's perfect Andi. Thank you..."

Rumple took it to examine it and said, "Yes. Excellent stitching here. Very fine and neat. You had a good teacher, lass."

"My mama was the best with a needle,' Andi said softly, remembering her patient gentle mother sewing on tapestries and clothing in their castle. "I'm not half as good."

She also recalled the duchess telling her that the mark of a fine gentlewoman was sewing a straight seam because it showed the world how you were dedicated to taking care of your family and making them look fabulous. And it also taught perseverance and patience.

Marie and Archie started cleaning everything up and the guests began to leave, Rumple telling them to make sure they took some of the food home as he didn't want it to go to waste.

Gisella handed out the favors to everyone.

Bae showed Rumple the six large trout he'd caught in the lake. Andi had caught three. All the fish had been cleaned and filleted by the teenagers.

"Well, we know what we're having for dinner tonight!" Belle said with a laugh.

"We're going to head home, Belle," Marie said.

Belle hugged her sister, niece, and almost brother-in-law. "Thanks for helping with everything. We couldn't have done it without you."

"Family helps family," Archie said repeating Rumple's words.

"Now if you would make it official..."

"Ummmm...about that...the reason why Marie and I are having such a hard time trying to set a date is...ah...our theme is a bit...unique."

Rumple cocked his head. "What is it?"

"We want to have a Greek wedding...he always calls me his goddess and I call him my Adonis...and we both love mythology," Marie explained.

"I know...crazy...maybe we're better off having a simple ceremony."

And he knew there were still people in town who doubted he and Marie would last.

Marie picked up Gisella who was starting to tire and needed a nap or she would be cranky.

Belle frowned. Of all of them, her poor sister seemed to be having the hardest time getting her happily ever after. She knew Marie wouldn't completely feel secure until she was married to Archie.

And she lay the blame for it at the feet of Cora and Gaston.

"We'll talk about it when we get home," Marie said softly.

"Call me if you need me," Belle said and hugged her again.

"I will."

They got in the car and drove away, Belle still concerned. "That damned witch! Her curse isn't broken on them, is it?"

"I think it is," Rumple replied. "It's just taking them some time to plan everything out. You know Archie. Everything needs to be perfect. Only maybe he doesn't think it's possible."

"Why? They love each other!"

"I don't know. Maybe you ought to ask him," Rumple said.

"I think I know...those damned gossips...still thinking my sister is a whore."

"Papa, you want me to bread and fry the trout?" Bae interrupted quietly.

"Yes, go ahead." Rumple said. "It's possible. Very possible."

"What is Rumple? Those busybodies wrecking my sister's happiness?" The expectant mother was outraged. "Well I'm not having it! My sister is having a mythology wedding and if those biddies don't like it they can go to hell!"

After all, try as they might have, they didn't ruin her own wedding to the man they called a monster.

"I agree. You can speak to them about it tomorrow. Right now, I believe we have some gifts to put away and then some fish to fry. And then I think we all need a nap after the long day we've had."

"Yes, we do."


	18. Surprising Revelations & Summer Fest

18

~ Surprising Revelations and Summer Festivities ~

Belle knew something was amiss the moment her sister walked in the door the following afternoon. Marie had dark circles under her eyes and spoke very little. Adding to her concern, Archie was doing the same and even Gisella was cranky.

"Mommy and Daddy got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!" she grouched to her aunt.

"Gisella, enough," Marie said shortly.

"Well you did!"

"Gisella, your mother said stop it, now stop it," snapped Archie.

"But Daddy."

"I'm not in the mood for one of your fits."

"See!" the little girl whined.

They had a fight...Belle thought worriedly. "Gisella go in the room with Bae please," Belle instructed her niece.

Once she was out of sight Belle turned to the couple. "Now do you want to tell me what is going on?"

'"We just...didn't sleep well last night." Marie explained.

"Belle, is Rumple home? There's...something I need to talk to him about."

"He should be in his office, Archie."

"Good," he muttered and left the room in search of his future brother-in-law.

"Now...what is going on, Marie because neither of you are acting like yourselves and it can't be from a lack of sleep!"

"It is...on my end," Marie sniffled. "I've been up all night asking myself a million times what's wrong and I can't figure it out!"

"Did you two have a fight after you got home?"

"No! In fact everything was normal until..."

"Until what?"

"We always tuck Sella in together...she loves that and after she goes to sleep...we say goodnight to each other, always with a kiss."

"He didn't kiss you?"

"Oh we kissed but things got a little...heated..." Marie blushed.

"Go on..."

"I mean I know we agreed we'd wait but you know it's so damned hard to when you love someone so much that even the slightest touch makes you burn...and I've felt that way about Archie since our first 'official' date. We were so caught up in the moment neither of us realized we somehow ended up in his room standing in front of the bed but all of a sudden he got nervous and broke it off..." Marie brushed tears from her eyes. "Belle, I know this sounds crazy but for a moment the man I loved looked absolutely terrified!"

"What? Are you sure?"

"Or maybe I'm wrong...I don't know. So I just told him goodnight...and reminded him to take his contacts out before he went to sleep...he has a bad habit of forgetting to do that...and I started to go back to my own room but I didn't...I just stood in front of his door...wanting to go back in and ask him what was wrong...beg him to talk to me...then I left and went to my room but I didn't sleep at all!"

"And this morning?"

"He was already awake and cooking breakfast when I got up...has to wear his glasses today because he did leave his contacts in all night! And he barely spoke to me!"

"Did you ask him what was wrong?"

"Yes...and all he said was he had trouble sleeping. Then Gisella wasn't helping by grouching at both of us for being cranky..."

"Hopefully Rumple can get something out of him."

"I hope so too...I hate seeing him like this..."

Rumple was doing the accounts for this month's rent on his computer, and his eyes were starting to get a tad blurry from staring at the screen for so long. He had his feet, in their blue extra wide velcro slippers, propped up on a stool under his desk.

He looked up and saw Archie standing there in the doorway. "Hello. You come for a visit or . . .is there something bothering you?"

"That's an understatement..." Archie mumbled.

"Well, don't just stand there, Hopper, come in and shut the door. I don't have a couch here, but maybe my Queen Anne brocade chair will do, huh?" He jerked his head at the antique chair with its lovely plum and gold rose brocade sitting in front of his desk.

"I think for this...I need a drink...a strong one!"

Rumple raised an eyebrow. "That sounds pretty damn dire . . .but, okay, how about we go down to The Rabbit Hole? I just need to close out this program." He tapped a few keys quickly.

He hoped that Marie and Archie weren't fighting . . .because he wasn't very good at playing marriage counselor . . .he'd only been married for almost a year himself!

Archie raked his hand through his hair. "I'm a therapist for God's sake and I feel like I'm having a breakdown so yes...let's go the Rabbit Hole! Maybe a Scotch or two will give me the courage I seem to have lost in the last twenty-four hours!"

"I'll buy," Rumple said quickly.

If he could even find the courage to say it...

You did...in open court...but no one figured it out...not even your own fiancée.

"Thanks..."

Rumple rose, trying not to wince as he stood on his perpetually swollen feet. He shoved a small bottle of Tums into the pocket of his heather purple Izod shirt and brushed off his charcoal gray slacks. "Okay. Let me tell Belle where I'm going then we'll take my car over . . ."

"She's ...talking to Marie."

Who probably thinks you shut her out because SHE is the one with the problem when she's not.

So many times he thought about telling her...only to lose his nerve.

"I won't interrupt much, but Belle likes to know where I go when I leave . . . just in case she needs to get in touch with me . . .like if she goes into labor or something . . .I know it's early but . . ." He ducked into the kitchen and called, "Belle, Archie and I are going out for a drink . . . well he is, anyway, just wanted to let you know, okay?"

"All right..." She got up. "Get it out of him...whatever is bothering him...get it out of him!"

Marie was sitting at the table crying.

He nodded. "If he'll tell anyone, it'll be me." He gave his wife a kiss. "We'll be back in awhile."

"T...Thank you Rumple," Marie sniffled.

"Not a problem, dearie," he handed her one of his handkerchiefs, which he always carried now in his pocket. The pregnancy hormones sometimes caught him off guard.

Archie was pacing like a caged tiger outside while he waited for Rumple, hoping he wouldn't lose his nerve again. He had to tell someone and who better than his future brother in law...if there even was a wedding.

Rumple returned and said, "Okay, let's get over there before someone else needs something from me."

"I'm sorry to have to do this...but I...don't feel comfortable discussing it with anyone else...yet."

He just feared what Rumple's reaction would be. Would he laugh?

"That's fine. And whatever it is . . . I just hope I can help you with it," Rumple said calmly.

"Maybe...just telling someone will help..."

The basket case that you are right now Hopper, it's amazing you can even treat your patients!

"It usually does. Like a certain therapist once said to me regarding my son and I-it's not good to let your feelings get all bottled up . .. because then you explode like dropped can of soda."

And he did feel like he was about to explode.

They reached the bar and Rumple snagged a table out of the way in a corner while Archie ordered his drink. The usual crowd was there-Jeff, David, Sean Herman, and some of the dwarves.

Archie ordered a Scotch, asking the bartender to make it a strong one...he was going to need it...or a few. Maybe being completely intoxicated would give him the courage he needed.

Rumple munched on snack mix while he waited for Archie to come back, ignoring the few curious and some downright rude stares he was getting from some patrons.

"What's Gold doing here?"

"Probably needed to get out of the house . .. must be driven crazy by now," David said. "Snow used to make me want to tear my hair out with her fussing."

"Hopper looks like shit today...Maybe the dancer wore him out last night," sneered Sean Herman.

Archie was returning to their table when he caught the tail end of Herman's remark and snorted.

Rumple signaled one of the barmaids. "A ginger ale, please, dearie."

If they only knew...

"Of course Mr. Gold," she said sweetly. "And hello to you too, Doctor Hopper..."

"Hello," Archie mumbled and slid into his seat.

She went over to get Gold's ginger ale. and as she passed Sean, he went and gave her a smack on the backside. "Hey, Trixie, you can run over here next . . .those two ain't got anything for ya."

"Silly wabbit...Trixie's not for you!"

He guffawed. "Hopper's got that hot lil number and Gold's so whipped he probably bends over and lets his wife beat him!"

"Oh is HE dead," Jeff muttered.

"That was a short hop to an early grave," David added.

'Son of a bitch," Archie hissed.

Rumple turned skewered Herman with an icy glare. "Excuse me? Did I just hear you say something about me and my wife? How'd you like to be pondslime? AFTER I beat you with this?" He shook his cane pointedly at the half-drunk idiot.

"My money's on Gold!" whooped another patron.

"Cane of doom for the win!" hooted another.

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea..." Archie mumbled.

Rumple held up a finger. "Well?" he demanded in a terrible soft voice. "Answer me, boy. Or shall I just start swinging?"

"No,...don't want to be pondslime..." Sean slurred.

"I woulda beat him like he owed me money and called it a day," Jeff said.

"You've been watching too much Miami Vice!" David admonished his daughter's boyfriend.

"I lived it."

"I really think we should go..." Archie moved to get up.

"Drunken ass!" Rumple scowled. "Okay . . . I'll let it go . . .but next time you talk trash about me, Herman . . ." he snapped his fingers and a puff of blue smoke drifted through the air.

Rumple held out a hand. "No . . .sit down and finish your drink. That idiot will mind his mouth now . . ."

He gave Trixie a fifty dollar tip when she came back with his ginger ale. "Here's some extra, dearie, for putting up with the likes of HIM!"

Archie's fingers tightened around his glass. He'd only taken a few sips but he was starting to feel more relaxed. He didn't drink much and when he did it was usually a glass of wine when he and Marie went out to dinner.

Gold sipped his ginger ale and waited for his almost brother-in-law to start talking patiently.

"I know you and Belle are…ahhh...wondering when Marie and I are getting married...and we did tell you one reason why we haven't yet..."

"Yes, go on," Rumple said, giving him an encouraging smile. Pre-wedding jitters he could handle.

Their theme was unconventional but it suited them.

"I know dressing like ancient Greek gods is a bit unconventional but we both love mythology...and those damned busybodies in town..."

He took another long sip. "If there even is a wedding!" he moaned.

Or it will end after your wedding night due to disappointment with the groom...

"Why wouldn't there be, dearie?"

"We both agreed we'd wait to share a bed until after we're married but last night..."

He was blushing as red as his hair.

Rumple gave him a knowing look. "Did you break that promise?" he queried softly.

"No! And I know Marie thinks she did something wrong but it's not her...it's ME!"

His hands shook so much he could barely hold his glass.

Rumple leaned forward. "What do you mean-it's you?" He was so intent upon Archie he forgot anyone else was in the room.

"Do you...ahhh...remember when we were in court and I said I wouldn't sleep with a woman unless I was married to her...?"

"Yes . . .and I happen to think that's right . . .I've told Bae that often enough . . .and I did that with both of my wives."

"So last night when I was nervous with Marie, I assumed she knew what I meant...but she didn't and now I'm sure she wants to call the whole thing off!"

"Well, did you explain it to her? She won't know that's how you feel unless you tell her. The Bordreaux women are intuitive, Archie, but they're not mind readers."

He hoped Rumple would understand what he was trying to say without having to spell it out...

"I...I lost my nerve but I thought it was obvious..."

"Sometimes what's obvious to you isn't to someone else . . . even if they love you," Rumple began.

"Do YOU know what I'm talking about?"

He hoped to hell the answer was yes...otherwise...he would explode.

And he'd been on the verge of it all day...

"I . . .I think so . . .you want to wait until you're married to consummate your marriage and you don't know how to put it so Marie will understand . . .Archie, all you have to do is open up your mouth-"

"Oh gods...Rumple...I'M A VIRGIN!" he shouted.

Rumple spilled his ginger ale all over the table.

The next sounds heard were bottles and glasses crashing to the floor.

"Oh...my...God..." Jeff whispered.

"Did he just say he was...?"

"Oh God I can't believe I said it that loud," Archie moaned, wanting to crawl under the table.

Then several of the patrons started laughing.

Archie buried his face in his hands, never having felt so embarrassed in all his life.

"How the hell can he still be...he's what...FORTY?"

"And dating a stripper! There's no way in shit she hasn't popped his cherry yet!"

More laughter ensued.

Rumple rose to his feet, and it seemed like the room suddenly darkened and the lights flickered eerily. "Okay . . .the next one who makes a smartass remark is going to get my cane up his ass! AND his hide tacked to a wall! So . . .who'd like to be first?"

The room fell silent.

All except for Sean Herman who laughed again. "Gonna teach him how to do it, Rumple?"

"Better call the coroner Jeff...and Mitchell to identify the body once Gold gets done," David advised.

"Maybe I ought to teach YOU some manners?" Gold spat, coming over to poke the inebriated Sean in the chest with his cane. "Because you sure as hell didn't learn any from your papa! Shall I remedy that, boy?" he hissed, and his cane started glowing and shooting sparks. "Mike, you want a new dartboard?"

"Could use one!"

"As deserving as it is, can't let you do that, Rum," Jeff said.

"Why not? It'd be community service!"

Archie was on the verge of a breakdown. Trixie pulled up a chair beside him and put her arm around his shoulders. "I think it's wonderful if you are, Doctor Hopper."

"I am..." he murmured.

"Yeah, but how?' quizzed Leroy.

"Rum, you turn him into a dartboard and we use him for practice it would be murder and I don't think Belle wants her baby's father in jail," Jeff reasoned.

"You gonna answer me or what, Hopper? How the HELL are you still a virgin at your age? We all know how you're with."

"It's none of your goddam business!" Archie raged.

Rumple froze with his cane halfway lifted to administer the final coup de gras. "Dammit, Jeff!" he swore. But he knew the hatter was right. He lowered his cane, snarling, "If I didn't want to upset my wife, Herman, you'd be on the wall right now!" Then he gestured, and Sean was hanging by his shoelaces from the ceiling. "Maybe that'll teach you to watch your mouth, you dumbass!"

Archie was out of his chair and glaring over at the dwarf at the table opposite him. "And I know you all think something happened between Marie and I the night we met at that damned club but it didn't!"

Rumple turned to the bartender. "There, Mike! A new ceiling fan."

"Nice one, Rum!"

"Come on Hopper, give us break."

"I'm not giving you anything!"

The courage and self-confidence that seemed to have deserted him returned with a vengeance now that he was no longer keeping his secret. He just wished he hadn't blurted it out in a damned bar!

"That's enough, boys!" Rumple declared and came over and said, "Archie, let's go somewhere a bit more private." He eyed the snickering men coldly. "And the next one who says something about it is going to be spinning and hanging up there! There is nothing wrong with wanting to be chaste till your wedding night!"

"Umm...yeah there is!" one protested.

"Men are NOT virgins at his age!"

"He's bluffing so we don't find out what really goes on in that house."

"What goes on in MY house is MY business and not yours!"

"Idiots!" Rumple growled. "I warned you . . ." He gestured . . .and three more people were hanging from the ceiling . . and revolving. He dusted off his hands. "Archie, let's go. Before I end up turning someone into a snail and stepping on it."

His temper close to boiling over, Archie had to count to ten to calm himself down before he grabbed Rumple's cane and started practicing some of the fighting skills he learned from Mulan Cho with it.

"All right, I'm coming."

"Hey, Rum, what about them?" Mike called, pointing.

"What about them? It's cheap air conditioning," the sorcerer snorted. "They'll fall down in about an hour . .. unless you get a ladder and pull them down. Up to you."

"I say leave em up there," said Trixie.

Archie got in the car and pressed his hand to his forehead, shaking his head. He should've just kept his damned mouth shut and suffered in silence. He knew it would be impossible to believe yet it was true. Now he would have to tell Marie...before someone else did...

Rumple got into the car and started it. He drove slowly down the street.

"I'm the laughingstock of Storybrooke now," Archie said bitterly.

Rumple parked the car and got out when they reached the park . . .which was empty at this time of the day . . . "Come on, Archie. Let's walk a bit. Nobody's here and even if there were . . ." he waved a hand. " . . .they won't hear anything."

"A bit late for that now, isn't it?"

"No . . .because I happen to think it's nobody's business except ours what we talk about . . .and had I known THAT was what you were going to tell me, I'd have put up a charm earlier."

"It's not something you would expect...not from a man anyway but...you do believe me, don't you?"

"Of course I do! Why would you admit that if it weren't so?"

"But I'm sure you're wondering how...?"

Everyone in that damned bar seemed to be. Why should Rumple be any different?

Rumple raised an eyebrow. "How's simple. I already know that. Try why and when. When and why did you first decide you wanted to be chaste for your marriage? Because that's not the norm for men back in our realm. For me it was easy. No girl wanted to sleep with bastard skinny Rumple . . .and the spinsters who raised me taught me to respect women, so the idea of doing that before marriage wasn't something I'd been encouraged to do."

"You know what my life was like before I became a cricket...one con after another with my parents. I said to Marie the night we were at your cabin that my parents led me around by the nose most of the time...they did...left me no time for myself." He sighed. "And none of the women in the places we went wanted anything to do with me...afraid I'd rob them blind while they slept. Then after what happened with Geppetto...I had Blue turn me into a cricket and I couldn't be with a woman at all."

"Of course you couldn't. And then with the curse . . .you weren't exactly the kind of person who slept around with women . . .anymore than I was."

"No. But last night...with Marie...I was at a point where I wanted to...and so did she...but then I broke it off because then she'd know...and most likely be disappointed with my lack of experience."

"Oh, I doubt that. I think a woman would be flattered that she was your first . . .same as if it was reversed . . .like it usually is. Just like they love the fact that I'm experiencing all the pregnancy symptom along with Belle. For once . . .a man knows how THEY feel."

"Marie probably thinks I backed off because I thought she was tainted...I don't!"

"Then you need to tell her that. Let her know that it wasn't something she did, so she's not eaten up alive thinking you don't love her. Believe me, I know how that is."

"And my parents only wanted me to learn their schemes not the facts of life. I had to learn that from books! On our wedding night I know what I' m supposed to do and how but it'll be so...awkward..."

Rumple patted him on the shoulder. "Look . . .I've been there with Milah . . .and just between us . . she was no blushing rose when we married . . .she knew more tricks than a damned circus dog! Made me feel like a fumblefooted ass. But Marie wouldn't ever make you feel that way. Now . . . I could tell you things like technique and so forth . .. but you learn what pleases you and your wife as you go along so . . .I won't bother describing stuff you won't remember in the heat of the moment anyhow." He cleared his throat.

"Oh gods!"

"See, making love isn't about how many positions you know how to do . . .or how many times you do it or where . . . it's mostly about emotion. Any lackwit with half a brain can get it in a woman, THAT doesn't take anything special. What makes it special is how you do it . . .with gentleness and respect . . .because this isn't some floozy you picked up for a one night stand, that you'll never see again . . this is your wife . . someone you're gonna wake up to for the rest of your life . . ."

"And she was hurt by Gaston...I still want to kill him!"

"I told Bae once when I was dating Belle after the curse broke that I didn't do one night stands and quickies. I don't. Because for me the act is something more than just . . .gratification of lust. It's a celebration of life, of love . . .so when I make love . . .I take my time . . .because I want to make it last for both of us. Because it's not just about you-it's about her too. And yes, I don't blame you. That's another reason why she'll think it's special, because YOU didn't regard her as used goods . . . and you chose HER for your first time."

"I want to do it right...all of it...the wedding...our wedding night...I've waited twenty-eight years to be with her but the idiots in this town look down on both of us!"

"I'm sure you will . . .and it'll be perfect . . .but even if things go wrong . . .it's not the end of the world. Tomorrow's a new day with no mistakes in it . . .like my Aunt Lotte used to say."

Rumple grimaced. "They're fools, Archie. The same now as they were when Belle and I were preparing for our own wedding. All they did was talk about us . . .about how she was marrying the Dark One . .. about how I'd made her an offer she couldn't refuse . . . there was even a rumor going around that I compelled her to be my sex slave! Unbelievable! Because no one could see that I was just Mr. Gold . . . that the Dark One was sleeping . . . and awaiting the day I'd free us both from our dark bondage to each other . . ."

"And you know we've had a rough time of it with Gaston, and Zelena turning me back into a cricket..."

"I know . . .but you're human now and you have to learn . . . like I did . . . to not let the past haunt you . . . or else you'll never be truly happy because it'll always come between you."

"I'd need some strong magic if I want to be perfect for her on our wedding night." He bit his lower lip, worrying it. "I'd be too busy thinking...worrying if I'm doing it right..."

"Archie, lovemaking is its own form of magic because it is based on emotion...without that...it's hollow. Don't think about it..._feel it_ and your wedding night will be one you'll want to relive over and over again for the rest of your lives."

"Is it that way with you and Belle?"

"Oh yes. A lot of people . . .men and women . . . think that sex is the be all and end all to a relationship. Well, it isn't. It's a part . . .a wonderful part if done right . . . but a marriage is like weaving a tapestry, you spin the threads and interweave them into a complete picture . . .but you don't just use one color . . .or theme . . or pattern . . . you use all that you are . . .all that you feel . . .all that you know . . .past and present . . .and together you create a thing of beauty. THAT is what a true marriage is . . . loving each other despite all flaws, all obstacles . . .and getting to know your wife . . .not just carnally . . .but how she thinks, how she feels . . .and trying to mesh your ideas and dreams with hers. It's not one person dominating the other, it's two people JOINING to form a whole. And you won't know how the whole thing turns out . . .but then that's the mystery of marriage . . .and of love."

"I still can't believe she wants to be with ME...when I'm not the handsomest man around..."

"I think the same thing with Belle . . .I still can't figure out why she thinks I'm so sexy . . .with or without my leather pants!" Rumple laughed. "But you know something . . .she told me once that the thing she finds MOST sexy about me . . . is that I DON'T act like I'm God's gift to women."

"Marie can't decide whether she likes me better in the clothes I wear now...with contacts or my glasses or how I used to dress during the curse. And she's always said that she enjoys talking to me the most..."

It was what they did before he worked up the courage to ask her on an official date.

"There, you see! And that's coming from a woman in her profession . . . who only sees men because they . . .err . . .want to have a good time . . ."

"She did...now she just drives herself insane trying to keep my office in order..." He laughed.

"You'd better not mess it up, Hopper, after I went through all the trouble of reorganizing it so you could actually FIND things, instead of digging through the rubble . . ."

"Oh you should've heard Marie the day she started...ranted at me for an hour for keeping my appointment schedule on a notepad."

"I can't blame her . . .I almost went insane trying to figure out your filing system . . . until I realized you didn't HAVE one!" Rumple shook his head. "You're lucky I didn't borrow Belle's broom and give you a wallop for keeping your office worse than Bae's room!"

"Well I ummm...could only afford a small office space..."

"Yes, but you let the clutter breed . . . and take over!" Rumple argued. "And unfortunately for you, I'm-as my son continually reminds me-OCD about cleaning things."

"That and driving me insane while clothes shopping!"

"Hey, YOU asked ME for advice on clothes . . . and what did you expect . . .I used to MAKE clothes for a living! I wasn't going to lie to you."

"Well dammit, some of your words were a bit...harsh...like when I brought out that red shirt you said it looked like someone bled all over it!"

"I was being honest! You asked me to!"

"Yes but did you have to be so graphic?"

"But it did! The dye was totally skewed . . .and it was the first thing that came into my head . . ."

"And the purple tie...Barney? Barney, Rumple?"

"Sella made me watch it with her just before you asked me to take you shopping . . .It was better than some of the other things I was thinking!"

He scowled. "Do you know my daughter laughed at me for an hour over you saying I looked like I was wearing Barney's tail?"

"Umm . . .okay . . .maybe I shouldn't have said that . . .now you see where Bae gets his smart mouth from."

"The worst one was about the sweater...something made out of used carpets!?"

The former spinner spread his hands. "Well, whoever or whatever-it was probably a machine- made it couldn't match colors or sew for shit! Would you have preferred I said you looked like a walking ragbag?"

"No!"

"There, you see? I was being nice . . .and saving you from getting pointed at by children in the street and hearing them ask "Mommy, what's HE wearing-the reject from the thrift shop that nobody wanted?" "

"Why do I put up with you?"

"Because I'm your family, dearie," he chuckled.

"We'd better get back...I have a lot of apologizing to do to Marie...and you can tell Belle."

"If you want me to," Rumple said considerately.

"Marie would tell her anyway."

"You're right. So I will . . .since I don't want it to seem like some horrible dark secret. Because I'm the only one allowed to have those," he joked.

"Oh to everyone else in this town it'll be a big joke...male virgin!" Archie said sarcastically.

"Well, at least you didn't have to light a black flame candle so everyone found out that way," Rumple chuckled, referring to a popular Halloween movie he'd seen with Bae late one night back when they were still cursed.

"Or put me in a tasteless comedy movie about it."

Belle was waiting for them outside with Marie when Rumple pulled his car into the driveway. Archie took a deep breath. Marie would either be angry or hurt and she was justified in being both. He'd always insisted on honesty in their relationship and he'd been keeping his own secret from her.

"We'll leave you two alone..." she said softly to Marie and walked into the house with Rumple. "Did you get it out of him? Is he having second thoughts?"

"No . . . not anymore, and yes, I did." He drew her upstairs to their room. "Let me tell you what went on. .. "

"Marie...thinks she did something wrong..."

"She didn't, Archie will tell her so."

After the men left, Marie was on the verge of collapse, fearing he wanted to end their engagement because she might have been too forward with him but she didn't remember being so.

"Did he tell you what led up to this?"

"Yes. He told me everything . . .and by mistake whoever else was at the Rabbit Hole . . ."

"What?"

"Umm . . . well we were talking . . . and I didn't quite get what he was hinting at . . . and he umm . . . blurted it out to me and everyone else heard it too."

"Blurted what out?"

"That he's still a virgin."

"W...W...What?" she gasped.

Rumple nodded. "Yes . . . and unfortunately . . . they all heard him say it . .. he was so . . .upset over it, he got rather loud . . .didn't realize it . .. "

"Oh no! Please don't tell me they made fun of him!"

They knew just how insane the men in the town could get through their own experience with it, particularly the so called 'manhood intervention".

"Well, they did . . . till I set them straight," Rumple informed her, and told her what he had done to the four idiots.

"Good for you! Archie has nothing to be ashamed of! It shows that he loves my sister enough that he wants her to be his first." She smiled. "Just as I wanted you to be mine..."

"Which is exactly what I said, dearie. Among other things."

"You gave him some advice? What did you say? I know...man talk but you don't have the typical man talks."

"Well . . . I told him the way I felt about sex in a marriage and how love's greatest magic is emotion and so forth . . ." he replied, telling her the gist of the conversation. "It's pretty much the same advice I'll eventually give Bae when he's ready to tie the knot."

"It's perfect, Rumple. And this is just what Marie needed after all she's been through...a man like mine...though not quite the same..."

When they went back downstairs the tension in the air was gone and Archie and Marie were once again a couple very much in love, more now than ever. When Belle asked again about the wedding, they insisted they wait until after the festival to make any definite plans.

When the day finally arrived the whole family was in high spirits, Bae most of all as he would proudly wave the flag he made for their team in the opening ceremony. The flag was Bae's own creation, done in a style like those of the crests of noble houses back in Fairy Tale Land. It had a gold cloth background, with a quartered "shield" of purple magical fire. In the right hand corner was a rose-representing the Bordreaux house, in the left was a spinning wheel for the Golds. On the bottom right was a cricket for the Hoppers . . and the bottom left had a wavy dagger barred . . .indicating the Dark One curse was no more. Bae had drawn and sewn each of the symbols himself, as well as using Rumple's spun gold thread to write the name GOLDEN WISHES on the banner so all could see it.

He had affixed the banner to a pennant pole and would carry it proudly in the parade at the opening ceremony.

"Mommy I wanna march with Bae!" cried Gisella.

"Princess, we told you...only the flag bearer is allowed to march," Archie said. "Now don't start pouting or you have a date with the corner."

Bae knelt in front of her. "Hey, Sella. After I march with it in the parade, I'll let you hold it and take a picture of you with it. Okay?"

"Okay!" She hugged him. "You're the best!"

He blushed. "Thanks, minx."

"Boys...ready to kick ass and take names at the cook off?" Belle asked Rumple and Archie.

Rumple smirked. "Yes indeed, dearie. I have my batches of Golden Delights in my travel containers already." He indicated his large Tupperware containers. Each team was allowed to enter one item in each of the contests or have one pair or person enter.

"Hopper's Hotter Than Hell is hot and ready!" Archie announced, tapping his crockpot.

"Smell of it nearly knocked me on my ass...dammit Archie, what's in there?" Marie demanded.

"Not telling."

Bae stealthily crept up to the Crock Pot and went to sniff the chili inside. He loved spicy food and was sure he wouldn't mind whatever spices were in there.

"Ummm Bae...be careful...gonna burn your nosehairs off," Gisella warned.

Bae smirked and sniffed deeply.

"Holy sh...Uncle Archie, what the heck is in there!?" he cried, feeling like his nosehairs WERE burning off.

"Not telling," Archie insisted.

They loaded all their supplies into Belle's minivan. Archie would drive himself, Marie and Gisella to the festival in the van with the Golds behind them in the Cadillac.

Major and Pongo also accompanied them as they would be competing in their first obedience and agility contest as a team.

Bae, Rumple, and Archie spent weeks with the dogs, training them for what to expect during the competitions. The dogs were trained to respond to a combination of hand signals, whistles, and a few spoken commands.

The team set up their tent in one of the shadiest areas of the park. Bae would play music from his battery operated Ipod docking station that included a playlist for each team member.

Bae also had a small poster with his former gang calling card YOU'VE JUST BEEN FIRED in orange paint hanging up above the entrance.

Gisella made her own sign that said THE ONLY BUGS THAT ARE COOL HERE ARE CRICKETS!

Because it was a warm day, Rumple cast a Keep Cool charm on his Golden Delights, so the chips in the cookies wouldn't melt before the bakeoff was judged. He went to put his cookies in the tent with the other entries for the bakeoff.

Archie took his crockpot to the cookoff tent and plugged it in to one of the power strips that had been set up, turning it down to warm so that the chili wouldn't be burned.

Each of the entries for the food contests had an index card with the cook's name typed on it and the name of their entry-so Archie's read-Dr. Hopper's Hotter Than Hell Chili and Rumple's read Rumplestiltskin's Golden Delights.

Before the contests were to start, the Golds and Hoppers were invited over to the CharminglyMad tent for a game of poker for the adults and Uno for the kids.

There was a lot of good natured ribbing between the adults though the kids didn't bother with that, and simply played happily together.

Bae made sure to wear his special lenses when he played, so he saw the numbers and letters properly.

"Ha ha...you gotta draw four again, Henry!" Gisella taunted, sticking out her tongue.

Grace was barely paying attention to the game...she was staring at Bae who was sitting across from her.

Gisella jumped up and down when she drew a Draw Four Wild card and slammed it down, yelling, "Draw Four, Henry! An' make it . . .green!"

Henry laughed and did so. "She's hysterical," he said to Bae. Then he noticed Grace looking at Bae. "Gracie's got a crush!"

"I do not!"

"Uh huh...you have a crush on Bae!"

Grace looked like she wanted to punch Henry out.

Gisella looked up from her cards. "Henry, Bae already's GOT a girlfriend! He's goin' out with Andi!"

"Quit it!" Grace was blushing.

"Yeah but Gracie wants him to be her boyfriend."

"Tell him to suck eggs, Gracie!' Gisella encouraged.

"Okay! Suck eggs, Henry!"

Bae started laughing.

"Grace!"

"Uh oh..." Grace mumbled hearing her father's voice.

"That's not bad, Mister Hatter," Gisella said. "Now if she said to suck nuts...that's bad."

"Gisella Bordreaux Hopper, what was that I just heard coming out of that mouth?" demanded Archie.

"Ummm...ummm..."

"I'm waiting...where did you hear that?!"

"Goatie!"

"She was giving a concrete example, Dr. Hopper," Bae put in.

Archie slapped his forehead.

"Considering WHERE she heard it, it's not appropriate."

"Goatie said she used to suck Mister Spencer's..."

Bae almost died laughing.

"Don't you EVEN finish that sentence or you'll be tasting Dove for forty seconds!"

Henry gaped at the little girl. "She KNOWS about that?"

"I don't know how!" Marie moaned.

"You can blame Zelena for that," Bae said.

"She said it at that picnic Mommy, ya know the one where Mister Fox was lookin at her boobies and burned my hot dog..."

Grace spit out her soda.

Emma looked horrified. "My God! That woman ought to be locked away! Doing THAT in front of kids!"

"I knew I should've talked you out of going to that damned picnic and spending the day with me and Pongo instead," Archie said to his fiancée.

"Yeah, she's the poster child for Ho's Anonymous!" Bae replied cheekily.

"Baby, I wanted to but Arista didn't want to be there alone..."

"Arista was cool, Zelena was a twat!" Gisella huffed.

"Sella!"

"Yeah, she stalked Papa like some cheap madam desperate for a customer!" Bae agreed. "I was so glad when Papa kicked her outta the castle!

"She turned Daddy into a cricket an I almost smashed him with the broom!" Gisella wailed.

Bae ruffled her hair. "Don't cry, minx. Now she's a goat and the only customers she can get it on with are the Billy Goats Gruff!"

"So did I..."

"And kicked me off a love seat!" Archie reminded Marie.

"Mommy, you didnt!"

"Ummm...I did honey."

"Eww, Bae! That's gross!" Grace made a face.

"That's Goat Girl for ya. She's always horny," Bae smirked.

"Baelfire!" Rumple snapped. "Mind that mouth! Or shall I conjure up the Ivory?"

Bae paled. "Sorry, Papa."

"Ha ha...horny Goatie...with the big hole!"

"Gisella!" Marie exclaimed. "Rumple...Dove please?"

Grace and Henry almost fell off their chairs.

Rumple sighed. "I knew this would be needed." He gestured and a bar appeared and he handed it to Marie.

"My hair is going to fall out trying to break her of that potty mouth!" Archie moaned.

"You? My son's worse!" Rumple groaned. "Half the time she doesn't know what she's repeating. Bae does!"

"Yeah I do...it's the hole where babies come..."

Archie groaned. "Marie...that woman is going to be roasted on a bloody spit!"

"I never took her to the club..."

"Yeah, let's have a barbecue!" Bae cheered. "Goat chitlins!" Then he mimed a goat screaming while singing "Come on Baby Light My Fire."

"Then how the hell did she hear all of this...at that damned picnic?"

"It had to be...it was when she met Zelena."

"And that's something you don't soon forget, dearie," Rumple sighed.

"No more potty mouth. Open up, Sella," Marie ordered her daughter and put the soap in.

Grace grimaced. "Yuck! Papa gave me Irish Spring once when I told my babysitter she was a female dog on wheels. Or the equivalent of it," she amended. "It was gross!"

"Zisss sucks worsseee..." Gisella said with the soap still in her mouth.

"I see someone has been naughty," Regina chuckled when she entered the tent.

"Oh my God, Mom, please!" Henry groaned.

His sister grinned. "Why? What'd YOU say?"

Regina chuckled. "Rumple, do you remember?"

The pawnbroker chuckled. "I ought to, dearie. You were in my shop when he said it."

Bae stared at the younger boy. "You swore at my papa?"

"No, not at me. At Miss Boyd. She was arguing with me over the rent . . .and the mayor was there with Henry, who was around four. And Miss Boyd was throwing a hissy fit and she called me a tight-fisted you-know-what, and Henry looks at her and says, "You're a dumb bitch!" I almost asphyxiated from not laughing."

"So did I...until I had to give him the soap."

"Nice, Mom!" her son scowled. "They're never gonna let me forget that one."

Regina sighed. "I don't even know where you heard that from."

"From you. You called somebody that on the phone," Henry informed her.

"I did?"

"It was probably me," Snow laughed.

"Or my sister," Regina admitted.

"Miss Regina...when are we gonna start the games?" asked Gisella.

"Uh . . . in five minutes I'm going to need all the flag bearers to line up by the castle," Regina said, checking her watch.

David went and got the Charmingly Mad flag, which was a picture of Disney's Prince Charming in a strait jacket.

Belle laughed upon seeing it. "You forgot to add a broom, Jeff!"

"Very funny, Belle!" Charming blushed.

"Brooms are exclusive to the Bordreaux women," Archie mumbled.

"And the gods help you if you get on the wrong side of one!" Rumple said ruefully.

"Thankfully they missed with me...owwww! Marie!"

Marie stood behind her fiance holding the infamous broom grinning from ear to ear.

"Always wanted to actually hit my target on you."

Jeff started laughing. "Am I glad Emma never had access to that!"

"May I?" Emma asked Marie.

"Oh hell no! Swan! I'm going to cite you for assault!" Jeff yelped, trying to get away from her.

"Ahh get back here you sissy! It's a love tap!"

She chased him out of the tent.

Charming was giggling. "Umm . . I shouldn't laugh . . that damn thing hurts but . . .I gotta see this!" he went to the entrance along with Rumple, Archie, Bae, and Regina.

Belle and Marie also watched, beaming with pride.

"Hey, Jeff! You're not supposed to run-else you get it twice!" called Bae.

Then...slick as cats, they moved behind their men and pinched their backsides.

"Hey, dearie! We're in public!" Rumple yelped.

"Marie!" Archie was blushing.

"Just little reminder before we start...you're ours and the women here can look but not touch."

"I don't need a reminder, Marie..." Archie said softly.

"I don't think any woman would dare, Belle," Rumple laughed.

Unfortunately for Archie word got around fast about what he said that afternoon in the bar and the women of Storybrooke were ogling him worse than before.

And Belle was still dealing with them over Rumple's sympathetic pregnancy issues.

.

"Maybe we ought to take a page from Teddy Roosevelt's book," Belle remarked tartly when she caught a woman eyeing Rumple's backside. "Walk softly and carry a big ass broom!"

"I'll just steal Archie's umbrella. That way I can pluck thy offending eye out."

Belle laughed. They all lined up next to the castle as the flag bearers arranged themselves with their team flags in the processional.

"YAY BAE GOLDEN WISHES RULES!" cheered Gisella.

"Go Gracie! Show 'em who's Charmingly Mad, sis!" Henry yelled, clapping.

Mulan twirled her flag, which was a sleeping Chinese dragon for her team, the Dreaming Dragons, made up of herself, Aurora, and Phillip.

A wolf howling beneath a full moon on a red flag being carried by Ruby represented the Crimson Howlers.

Dr. Whale smirked and blew kisses while his team cheered, some of the girls from the Foxtrot, including Ashley and Sean. They were the Hot Trotters . . . and featured a fox trotting over smoking hot coals.

Charming scowled. "Belle, can I borrow your broom? I'd like to beat HIS ass!"

"David! You already punched him out!" Snow reminded him.

"So? He could use a good ass whupping too!"

The next flag was being carried by Roland Locksley with a wanted poster with his father's picture on it.

Jason tugged on Regina's skirt. "Aunt Gina, I wanna flag like that little boy!"

She didn't recognize him or his team members. but she did remember her mother putting a price on the heads of outlaws in Sherwood Forest.

"Please!" her nephew begged, giving her puppy dog eyes.

"All right...I'll ask someone from their team where we can get one."

"Here, imp," Rumple snapped his fingers and a purple flag appeared with a red apple and a crown around it. "How's that? You can be the Regal Apple team."

"Thank you, Rumple." Regina said gratefully.

"Cool, Mister Gold!" Jason waved the little flag around happily. "Can I march in the parade too?"

"You're too little, laddie," Rumple told him. The child's face fell. "But look . . . you can march with Major."

"Go ahead honey...but be careful."

Rumple gave the shepherd a quick hand signal. The dog came and stood beside the child. "Major will make sure no one runs him over." He gave the dog another signal.

Major whuffed and stayed close by the boy, letting Jason hold his leash. When the parade started, the dog trotted beside the boy, making sure no one came too close.

Belle leaned her head on her husband's shoulder as they watched their son match past them, holding his head high and their flag, their team's theme song Queen's A Kind of Magic playing.

"Our first flag bearer is Baelfire Gold representing team Golden Wishes!" Regina announced.

She stepped in front of him and held out the microphone. "Baelfire, please introduce us to your teammates."

Bae hated public speaking but he would do it for his family.

"My father, Rumplestiltskin Gold, my mother, Belle Gold, my uncle Archie Hopper, my aunt Marie Bordreaux, and my cousin Gisella Bordereaux Hopper," he recited clearly.

After every team was introduced, the crowd got to vote on the flags through ballots passed around. After the votes were counted Regina stepped up to the microphone. "Third prize in the flag contest goes to Sherwood Outlaws!"

The band of former outlaws and children whooped loudly.

"Second prize goes to...CharminglyMad!"

'YEAH!" Henry and Grace exclaimed, dancing around excitedly.

"And our grand prize goes to...Golden Wishes!"

"That's my boy!" Rumple grinned and hugged Bae. "See? I told you it was good!"

"It was perfect!" Belle praised, kissing her son on the cheek.

"Hi five Bae!" yelled Gisella.

Bae gave her one, laughing.

"Bae, that belongs in an art gallery," Archie praised.

"Aww, thanks!"

"It was beautiful, honey," added Marie.

Bae was blushing. Then he got the shock of his life when Ewan, Bobby, and some of the other former Scorpions ran up and put him on their shoulders and screamed, "Baelfire rules! Whoo hoo!"

"Baelfire, with your permission I'd like to add your flag to the festival hall of fame gallery," Regina said as she handed him his trophy.

"Sure, Mayor Mills. I'd be honored. Thanks!" he said taking the trophy.

When he turned to go back to where his family waited, a pair of arms slipped around him and Andi kissed him. "A victory kiss, Bae!"

Cheers and whistles were heard from the crowd.

"All right Wraith! Plant another one on 'im!" cheered Becky who was once known as the Scorpion Fury.

"Kiss her back, Fire!" hooted Bobby. Bae grinned. "With pleasure!" Then he did, a kiss that was both tender and passionate.

"Wraith and Fire, Wraith and Fire!" their friends chanted.

"Beck...gimme that..." Ewan snatched a piece of posterboard from his girlfriend and wrote on it WRAITH AND FIRE...OUR OTP FOREVER!

Then he held it up for all to see.

Everyone cheered. Except Miss Blue, who had a scowl on her face and muttered, "Disgraceful! The way these kids behave!"

"Oh blow it out your skanky panties, you jellyfish!" Shadow yelled.

Blue went red." Who said that? I'll have you all in detention!"

"Sweet!" Becky hi-fived Kat.

"Oh, detention schmention!" Bobby sneered. "We're not in school, so you don't rule!"

Belle giggled. "Is it mean of me to be enjoying this..."

"Oh hell no. That bitch has it coming," grumbled Marie.

"Does she ever! Hypocrite!" muttered Rumple.

"I wonder what people would say if they knew who Aqua Mystique was under that mask," mused Archie with a grin.

"Oooh baby...getting evil are we?" Marie asked her fiancé.

"No...but people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones."

"I think Mr. Hale would fire her," Belle said. "And his secretary-Miss Harridan-would pass out!"

He had his own issues with her since she'd been the one to sabotage his plans to take Marie as his date while he chaperoned the dance.

The teams returned to their tents to prepare for the first event which was the sack race. Gisella was eager to get started because she wanted to make a certain rude classmate eat her dust.

"She'll probably cheat though cause she's mean," the little girl said.

"Then she'll be disqualified Princess because Regina won't tolerate cheating," her father told her.

"Don't worry, Sella. She's gonna eat our dust." Bae said.

"Will the sack race contestants take their places please!" Sidney Glass called out.

Bae and Gisella lined up with the others, which consisted of Henry and Grace for CharminglyMad,

Roland and Erin, another little girl, for Sherwood Outlaws, and then there was the Hot Trotters entry.

"Ewww...she don't got a shirt on Bae!" Gisella pointed to a girl wearing a bikini top with Doctor Whale beside her.

Bae rolled his eyes. My God, they let their kid dress like that? he thought. I mean it wasn't like there was anything there to see, but still such clothing belonged in a backyard or at a pool or something . . .plus the top was too tight. "Just ignore her, Sella. Who is she anyway? That girl that was making fun of you?"

"Nah...she's Jeannie's kid...the dancer who dresses like a genie but she's a ho too."

Bae snickered. That explained the top then. "Okay . . .now you remember how we practiced right? Big hop, little hop?"

"Gotcha!"

"On your marks...get set...GO!"

Bae gave one big jump, to put them out in front, his arm around his cousin, pulling her along. Then Gisella jumped and he gave a little jump to match her.

Some of the kids were having a hard time coordinating jumping and holding the sack at the same time. You could tell who had practiced and who hadn't by who tripped and fell or got tangled in the sack.

One of those was Gisella's rival.

As they neared the finish line Bae and Gisella and Henry and Grace seemed to be equally matched.

"C'mon kid!" Bae urged her as they came down the homestretch towards the finish line ribbon. They were neck and neck with Grace and Henry, and a little further behind was little Roland and Erin, who had managed to keep up with them somehow.

"Come on, Henry!" Regina yelled.

"Go, Bae, go!" screamed Belle and Rumple together.

"You can do it, Sella!" chanted Marie and Archie

"Whoo hoo, Gracie!" cheered Jeff, clapping like mad.

"Good job, Roland!" Robin called and the other outlaws cheered as well.

"Ready?" Bae asked Gisella. "One . . . two . . . three . . .super jump!"

And they both jumped right into the ribbon.

At the same time as Grace and Henry.

The kids were all laughing as they pulled their sacks off.

"Photo finish!" Jeff yelled.

"What, you think you're at the track, Hatter?" laughed Rumple.

"No, he's right Rumple," Belle said.

"And we have a tie...Golden Wishes and CharminglyMad!" announced Regina.

"Awesome!" Henry exclaimed.

"Congrats!" Bae said, and he shook Henry's hand.

"You SUCK!" yelled Mikaela Gordon at Gisella.

"Hey! Watch it, brat!" Bae snapped at the child.

"Yeah don't be a sore loser!" Grace scowled.

Gisella blew her a raspberry. "Least I got to the line...butthead!"

"You is rude and nasty!" Roland said, they had come in third.

"You tell her, kid!" Bae said, mussing his hair.

Erin made a face at the other girl.

"Great job kids!" Regina walked to each group and handed them their trophies.

Then she hugged Henry. "I am so proud of you!"

"Aww, Mom!"

Bae and Gisella's proud parents were waiting for them when they got back to the tent. Archie lifted his daughter up and hugged her.

"That's my Princess!"

Rumple clapped Bae on the back. "You did great, Bae."

Belle and Marie snapped pictures. "Don't they just make you melt when you see that?" Marie asked her sister.

"Yeah . . .they're so adorable together," Belle agreed.

"We've gotten the best of the lot, Belle..."

"Yes, and now they all know it."

"Next event...the kissing contest...couples take your places over at the kissing booths!"

"Darling, let's show them how it's done." Belle said to her husband.

"Yeah, Papa! Give her a kiss off the charts!" Bae whooped.

"Mr. and Mrs. Gold! Mr. and Mr. Gold!" screamed all the former Scorpions, clapping.

"Next year, we're doing it," Archie whispered to Marie.

"What are we, celebrities?" asked Rumple, blushing.

"It looks like it, Rumple...look at the glares we're getting already," Belle giggled.

Blue glared at them, as did a few of the girls from the Hot Trotters . . .though she glared at Rumple while THEY glared at Belle.

"Jealous wretches...Whale probably kisses like a fish..." Belle mused.

"Yeah, I bet. You could always ask Mary though," Rumple chuckled.

The couples each had their own booth and the winner would be determined by crowd vote for best kiss. Hands were only permitted on the shoulders or neck...anywhere else was grounds for disqualification.

Also they were restricted to the mouth only.

Easy enough for happily married couples.

"Give her the Gold Special, Mr. G!" Bobby and Ewan cried.

"What the heck is that?" Belle asked her husband.

"Hell if I know!" Rumple said.

They took their places in one of the curtained booths, which had a wall mirror in it so the crowd could see the participants' faces clearly.

"Just...imagine it's just the two of us...at our cabin...a little moonlight.." Belle whispered.

"And I left the TV on," Rumple muttered, feeling a bit embarrassed at being the object of so much attention.

Whale sauntered up to his booth with one of the girls from the Foxtrot on his arm, looking totally at ease. "We got this one, ladies. The rest of 'em should go home and practice."

"No...no...block it out, darling...they're not here...it's just you...and me...feel it...Remember the drive in..."

Rumple shut his eyes . . .recalling how he had felt that night . . .the scent of popcorn and lemonade slushies and Belle's arms around him . . .and how he was kissing her breathless . . .he opened his eyes and reached for her, drawing her into his arms, careful to only touch her shoulders. Then he dipped his head and kissed her.

Several women in the crowd fanned themselves.

As soon as their lips met, everything else faded away . . .and all he knew was the feel of his wife in his arms . . .and he kissed her with every ounce of passion in his heart.

"And THAT is the Gold Special people!" yelled the Scorpions.

"Wait til they see the Hopper one..." Marie teased her fiancé.

"Next year darling, next year," he promised.

They heard groaning in the Whale booth...along with another sound that did NOT belong at a festival where children were.

"I think my wife fainted," a man muttered.

"Whoa! Look where HER hand is!" yelled Ewan.

"Daddy, what's she doing?" asked Gisella.

Archie quickly covered her eyes.

"Jeannie, you tramp! There are kids here!" yelled Marie.

"Disqualification!" Bae screamed. "No touching below the waist!"

"Daddy...I can't see!" wailed Gisella.

"Hey, why's she . . ." Henry began, gaping.

"Dr Whale, you are disqualified and you are also banned from future events for public lewdness!" Regina yelled.

Emma covered his eyes. "You don't need to see that, kid!"

"But we were just gettin' started!" Whale muttered.

The other three couples came out of their booths, so caught up in each other they hadn't noticed what was going on around them.

"Yeah, go get a room!" yelled Bobby.

"Us?" Rumple asked Belle.

"Nah, Mr. Gold. Dr. Feel You Up and the ho over there!" the boy replied.

"That slut Jeannie and Dr Whale," Marie said angrily. "She was...let's just say her hand was not where it belonged and leave it at that!"

Regina asked the audience to vote while the couples returned to their team tents.

"You two have it...hands down but next year it's our turn," Archie said to Rumple.

"You think, dearie?" the pawnbroker said.

"Oh yes...this cricket DOES know how to kiss a lady."

"You certainly do, baby," Marie said softly.

He proved that on their interrupted first date.

"Papa, you blew the others away," Bae reassured him. "Specially the slut team in the other booth. I mean, if I wanted to watch that, I'd watch HBO!"

"The votes are in, ladies and gentlemen, and in third place we have Little John and Eleanor. Second place we have Mary and David Nolan and in first place we have Rumple and Belle Gold!"

The Scorpions held up another sign. THE GOLD SPECIAL...IF YOU CAN'T BEAT IT...LEARN IT!

Miss Harridan sniffed. "Hooligans! They all oughta be deported!"

"Can't deport us, ya dipshit!" yelled Becky.

"Yeah, cause we're American citizens!" yelled Shadow.

"Don't get your panties in a twist, Grandma!" Bae called sassily.

"Oooh! Fire with the smackdown!" cheered Bobby.

"Show her who rules, mate!" encouraged Ewan.

"She wishes she could pucker up, the old puff adder!" Wraith catcalled.

"Ha...ha told you old bat!" taunted Gisella.

"Yuck! The first one who touches those lips is gonna drop dead!"

"All right settle down you lot," Rumple admonished.

The kids obeyed . . .for no one tangled with Mr. Gold and his cane of doom.

Their trophy was a heart shaped one with True Love's Best Kissers on it.

The next event was more of a fundraising one. Each team would allow themselves to be soaked with ice buckets to raise money for several charities and an award would go to the team who raised the most money.

"Get ready to get wet, Papa!" Bae said, pulling off his T-shirt to reveal a purple tank top underneath, with his Scorpion tattoo visible on his arm. He also took off his jeans, underneath were a pair of board shorts.

"Thank the gods you are not wearing your speedo or I would break out the broom," Belle said to her husband.

Gold chuckled. "Sweetheart, the speedo's for the hot tub . . .and for your eyes only." He unbuttoned his dress shirt and slacks, underneath was a T-shirt and his gray dragon board shorts. "Are you sure you're okay doing this? It won't hurt the baby?"

"Doctor Jo assured me I'd be fine."

"Okay, but I'm drying you off as soon as we're done."

"I'm ready." Archie approached them wearing a t-shirt Gisella had made for him for his birthday with a picture of a cricket sitting on top of an umbrella saying "I speak softly but carry a big umbrella!" and a pair of green shorts.

Marie changed into her bathing suit and a pair of shorts.

"M'ready too!" announced Gisella in her own bathing suit.

"Archie...take your contacts out," Marie advised.

Once they were all ready they stood in the booths set up for them, waiting to be chosen to get soaked.

"All right teams...you have one hour...Good luck!"

Andi approached Bae with a large bucket in her hands. "Gonna put you out, Fire," she teased.

"Uh uh, Wraith! There's only one way you can put me out," he challenged. "And it's not with water, babe!"

"Wanna bet!" She ran up to him and poured the bucket over his head. "How you feel now Fire...cold?"

"Ahhh, sonuva-" he choked off the rest of what he was about to say.

Andi laughed. "I love you, Bae!"

"My turn...get ready to freeze yer ballocks off, mate," taunted Ewan.

"Thanks!" Bae said, shaking his head. Drops flew all over.

Ewan filled his bucket with more water and ice, tossing it onto his friend.

Bae yelped. "Hell . . . that's COLD!"

"You ain't see nothin yet." Becky added even more ice and water to her bucket. "Here ya go!"

"Aww c'mon! Pour some water on my papa!"

Belle was recording it on her phone, trying not to laugh.

"You first...then we git him."

"Okay, go ahead!"

Becky tossed the contents of her bucket at him. "Feel the Fury Fire!"

Bae shivered. "I'm not out yet, Fury!"

"That's cause shadows smother fire!" Shadow grinned. She threw an extra large bucket over him.

Then it was Bobby's turn. "Ready, Gold?" he hefted his bucket.

"After this, you get my papa," Bae hissed.

"Sure we will," Bobby laughed. "Now brace yourself, laddie. Tis a wee bit cold!"

"A wee bit cold my ass!" Bae muttered.

Bobby emptied his bucket all over Bae's head. "Payback for the time you shoved me in the freezer!"

"Hey that was joke!" Bae protested. They had been wrestling near the walk in freezer and he shoved Bobby inside and the door had shut by accident.

"And it was so funny I forgot to laugh!" his friend snorted.

"When did you shove Bobby in the freezer, Fire?" Shadow demanded. She glared at her boyfriend.

"Uh . . . awhile ago. It was an accident!"

"We were being idiots," Bobby admitted.

"You both ought to be whacked with my spoon!" she retorted.

"Hey Aunt Belle...she's gonna beat 'em with a spoon!"

"Would you like to borrow the Bordreaux Broom, Kat?"

"Sure, Mrs. Gold. Where is it?"

Bae glared at Bobby. "Nice going, smartass! Now your ass is gonna regret it!"

"Oh I'm sure my husband can summon it up for me."

"No! Later!" Bae pleaded. "I'm soaking wet now!"

"Ahhh ya wuss!" Gisella taunted.

"You be quiet!" Bae shook his finger at her.

"Just let her do it..ya asked for it."

"Sella, enough," Marie said sternly.

"Or . . . I could just do this . . ." Shadow smirked and grabbed a bucket of almost all ice with some water and threw it all over Bae . . .and she did the same to her boyfriend.

"Ahhh! Oh my GOD!" Bobby screeched. "You damn near froze my nuts off, Kat!"

"Next time don't play in the freezer!"

"I'm gonna catch pneumonia!"

"Oh quit whining, you baby! You'll dry off . .. it's eighty-five out today," she laughed.

"C'mere, you!" he mock growled and grabbed her to him, kissing her and soaking her shirt in the process.

"MacTavish! You wretch!" Shadow yelled, for she hated getting wet.

Bobby was smirking like the Cheshire cat.

Belle picked up a bucket, filled it with ice and crept behind her husband, pouring it over him.

"Yo-ahhhh! BELLE!" he cried. Then he went and grabbed one and threw all over her. "All's fair in love and war, dearie!"

Marie now smirked at her fiance.

"Don't you dare! Ahhh...MARIE!"

"Ha ha...Daddy's all wet!"

Archie laughed and grabbed another bucket, throwing it on his daughter and her mother. "Two for one shot...beat that!"

Giggling, Gisella crept around her daddy and picked up some ice on the ground . .. then shoved it down Archie's shorts. "Daddy-you're FROZEN!"

"Gisella!" Marie cried.

"Dammit...Sella...I hate it when you do that..." Archie grumbled, hopping around like the former cricket he was trying to shake the ice out.

Bae started laughing hysterically. "Oh Jesus! That was the best!"

"Oh really...let's see how YOU like it!" Archie shoved some ice down Bae's shorts...and Rumple's!

"Ohhh! Cricket, you're dead!" the former Dark One yelped. He promptly threw ice down Archie's back. "How'd you like THAT?"

"I like THIS better!" Archie returned the favor while their significant others recorded them.

"Boys will be boys," Belle laughed.

"Yeah but isn't it fun to watch?"

"Definitely."

A crowd gathered around their booth, all ready with money to take their shot at dousing one of the members of the Gold-Hopper clan.

The dwarves were having a good old time dumping buckets on Charming . . .and Jeff threw ice down Emma's shirt . . .supposedly by mistake . . .resulting in Emma chasing him around the booth threatening to make a mansickle out of him . . .while Snow watched laughing. Grace and Henry doused each other . . .and then threw ice cubes at their parents . . .

Regina stood back and simply watched with a small smile on her lips. Had she not sent her mother away, she knew her little town would not be this joyful and still under a curse. She was grateful to the members of these four families for their support of her when Dr. Whale called for a lynching.

"Oooh, Papa, you're not the Dark One amymore . . . You're Mr. Freeze!" Bae teased.

"C'mere, scamp!" Rumple growled, and he grabbed Bae in a headlock and rubbed ice in his hair. "And you're Frosty the Snow Boy!"

Regina was enjoying the fun so much she didn't realize she was about to become a target until a large bucket of ice was dumped on her from behind.

"Ahhh...what...who?" she cried.

Robin Locksley stood in front of her holding a laughing Jason. "The lad needed a bit of assistance."

"Why you . . .!" The mayor gasped, wiping water from her eyes. As she did so she noticed how handsome the man before her was . . .and how easily he held her nephew, who was normally wary of strangers.

"I hope you don't mind, my lady," he said softly, his eyes meeting hers.

"Well . . . it was kind of hot . . ." she admitted, gazing back at him. And now she felt even hotter . . despite being drenched.

Jason giggled. "Funny, Aunt Gina! All washed up!"

Henry, who was getting another ice bucket stopped when he saw his mother...and Robin Hood! And it looked like she was interested!

"Operation Outlaw Queen will now begin," he said with a smile.

"Think it'll work?" asked his sister, coming up beside him.

"I think so...but she can't break the second curse...wasn't its last victim...book now says Doctor Hopper has to."

"Then they'd better get busy," Grace said.

"There's something...different about him that's why he has to do it. The book doesn't say what but I think it has to do with what people say he said in the bar a while back."

"A pure spirit that knows true love can break any curse," Grace said.

"And when he does...Mom can be happy too...I think that's what she's waiting for."

Grace nodded. "Then I hope they get their happy ending too."

"All right...ummm...now it's time for the ummm...archery competition," Regina announced, flustered from having Robin Locksley's eyes on her constantly.

Robin set Jason down. "Stay here, lad. I have to get my bow."

Snow grabbed her own as did Granny and Mulan would shoot from the Dragons.

Robin Locksley was on a mission. Regina did not remember it but the moment he saw her in the coach on the road back in the Enchanted Forest just before he robbed it, he wanted to get to know her.

While the archers were getting ready, Rumple went and dried off Belle and the rest of his family with a bit of magic and then they all pulled on their other clothes.

Robin stood in front of the target, kept Regina's face in mind, took aim and fired. His arrow struck the center of the target.

Snow was next, calling the target to her in her mind's eye . . . then she released and hit the bullseye as well.

Granny's arrow hit a little left of center.

Mulan also hit the center, a three way tie.

"We have a tie between Snow, Mulan and Robin...each will shoot again and the one closest to the bullseye wins."

"Ladies first,' Robin said gallantly and let the women shoot first.

Snow took aim again, this time imagining Cora's heart in the center of the target. She shot again, and it flew towards the bullseye. But a freak gust of wind blew it just slightly off course .. and it landed just to the right of the bullseye.

Mulan took her second shot, the arrow hitting the target further away. She stepped back for Robin to take his turn. Once again he thought of Regina and took aim, his arrow hitting the bullseye a second time. The merry men cheered for their leader, still the best shot in all the realms. Regina approached him with his trophy...a golden arrow.

"Congratulations Mr. Locksley," she said softly.

"Thank you...my lady," he said and bowed.

"Yay, Daddy!" Roland cheered.

Jason came up to the other boy. "That's my Aunt Gina," he pointed to her.

"Hi...I'm Roland!"

"Hello Roland." The mayor kneeled down and shook his hand. "Are you having fun today?"

He nodded. "Uh huh. I like this party." He beamed at her.

"An' we're gonna have ice cream for dessert!" Jason told him. "You can eat with us."

"If his father says he can Jason," Regina said. "You should ask permission first."

The little boy looked at Robin. "Can he, mister?"

"We can all go, that is if you wouldn't mind my company, my lady."

"I'm hardly a lady anymore," Regina said with a nervous laugh.

"No matter where you are, you are always a lady."

Regina found herself flustered. "Thank you, kind sir."

Jason grinned. He picked up his little flag. "Lookit, Roland. Mister Gold made me this flag . . .and he let Major walk with me in the parade . . .he helped me get rid of my bad mommy too . . .so now I live with Aunt Gina . . ."

"That's wonderful, Jason. Roland...he just has me and our little group...his mother...passed away some time ago."

His wife Marian had been executed on Cora's orders when she acted as regent for her daughter while Regina was on a progress among with many other innocents.

"I never had a daddy . . .my mommy said I didn't need one and nobody'd want me anyway cause I was a bastard," the child said bluntly, repeating what Zelena had told him over and over when he asked why he didn't have a daddy like other kids.

Robin scowled. "What woman in her right mind is so cruel to a child? No offense my lady, but how could someone like Cora spawn two very different women? You are nothing like either of them.

"I think I take after my father," Regina laughed. Then she said to Jason. "Honey, we don't use that word, remember?"

"M'sorry. Please don't make me taste soap it's yucky."

"Okay . . . I'll let it go . . . this time. But next time . . . I'll ask Mr. Gold to conjure me some Ivory."

"Ewww!"

Robin laughed. "Shall we, my lady?"

Regina took his arm and led him to the tent where she had her table set up.

They almost looked like a family...a man and woman and their two sons, sharing ice cream cones and laughing and joking with each other. It was what Regina wanted but could never have with Daniel. She didn't think she could ever get another chance...until now.

It was drawing onto the afternoon, and the cook off and bake off were going to be judged, since people were getting hungry and eager to see who was the best baker in Storybrooke and if Archie could defend his title as the chili king.

Also the pie contest would be judged.

After the winners were announced would come the eating contests, the pie eating contest, the hot dog contest, and the pie in the face contest.

Archie was nervous when it came time for the cook off as he always was. There were a lot of good cooks in town and all of them stepped up their efforts to dethrone him as the chili king.

"You've got this in the bag, baby..." Marie reassured him.

"Yeah, Uncle Archie," Bae agreed. "Your chili made my eyes water just from SMELLING it!"

"Well...ummmm..I may have jazzed it up a bit this year..."

"With different kinds of hot peppers?" Rumple guessed.

"Yes."

"I can't wait to eat it," Bae said.

"Umm...you might want to have a gallon of water handy. I don't call it Hotter Than Hell for nothing."

"And a loaf of bread," Rumple added. "Plus some milk."

"Would all cookoff contestants please come to the tent for the judging?"

Marie grabbed her fiancé and kissed him passionately. "For luck..." she whispered.

Bae smirked. "Now THAT'S hotter than hell!"

"Bae!" Rumple frowned.

Archie was whistling Chicago's Along Comes a Woman as he walked to the cookoff tent.

The rest of them took their seats in the audience to wait for Regina to announce the winners.

"In third place we have...Friar Tuck's Tomato Bisque!"

The Sherwood Forest team cheered.

"In second place we have...Mrs. Muffet's Mean Meatloaf!"

"And..." Regina paused for dramatic effect leaving all on the edge of their seats. "In first place we have, once again Hopper's Hotter Than Hell Chili!"

Marie was out of her seat like a lightning bolt and threw her arms around Archie. Gisella hugged his knees.

"I told you...I told you you had it..." Marie murmured while Regina handed him another golden spoon to add to his collection.

Bae cheered loudly. Rumple and Belle clapped.

"And now folks...will our bakers come to the judging tent?"

Rumple turned to Belle. "Wish me luck, dearie."

"Will this work?" she asked and kissed him.

"It will, sweetheart." His brown eyes twinkled merrily.

"That spatula is yours Rum," Archie assured him.

"Knock 'em dead, Papa!" Bae yelled. "Golden Wishes for the win!"

"Yeah cause that other stuff looks like roadkill," said Gisella.

Rumple laughed. "Okay, let's see if you're right."

Regina stood in front of the display table and read the results of the vote. "In third place we have...Mrs. Allen's Apple Turnovers."

Her family cheered.

"In second place we have Granny's Cherry Cheesecake."

"In first place...and for the first time we have Rumplestiltskin and his Golden Delights!"

"WOOO HOO!" yelled the Scorpions.

"Mr. Gold rules!" yelled Shadow, waving her spoon in the air.

Bae went and hugged his father.

Regina handed the spatula to Belle. "I'll let you do the honors."

Belle gazed into her husband's eyes as she handed him his trophy. "I told you you'd win..."

"Next time I'll believe you."

She kissed him again.

Granny won the pie contest with her famed apple and the next contest was the hot dog eating one. The Gold team decided to watch that one.

Friar Tuck sat down at the table amid cheers from the Sherwood contingent.

"They're gonna need the pink stuff Daddy...a lot!" Gisella said to her father.

"Or Rumple's digestive potion," Belle laughed.

Sly Fox sat across from Tuck. He tucked a big napkin into his collar and smirked.

"Ewww...he can't even COOK hot dogs an now he's gonna eat 'em!?"

"Gisella..." Marie giggled.

David was the contestant for Charmingly Mad. Henry gave him a thumbs up sign.

"He's brave," Archie mumbled.

Leroy was the last contestant.

"I didn't know he ate hot dogs," Rumple said. "Bacon, yes . . ."

Several people brought out platters of hot dogs on buns and set them in front of the contestants. Regina spoke into the microphone. "On your marks . . . get set . . .GO!" she rang a bell and the contest was on.

Tuck grabbed a hot dog and stuffed it into his mouth, chewed three times and swallowed. Then he reached for another.

David ate his first one a few seconds after that.

Sly was eating two simultaneously, one in each hand.

Leroy at his methodically, steadily but surely.

As the hot dogs disappeared from their plates, servers came and brough out more . . .until the bell rang again after twenty minutes were up.

"Time's up! Chew and swallow!" ordered the mayor. Then judges came and counted how many hot dogs were eaten on the tally board.

"That is a LOT of weenies," said Ewan.

Bobby sniggered.

"And . . .third place with eighteen hot dogs eaten . . .goes to . . .David Nolan of Charmingly Mad!"

"Eighteen...holy shi..." Archie exclaimed and caught himself before he swore in front of his daughter.

Henry and Grace cheered.

"In second place . . with twenty hot dogs eaten . . . is Leroy!"

His brothers cheered.

"And this year's winner . . . with the grand total of twenty-eight hot dogs eaten . . . Friar Tuck of Sherwood Outlaws!"

The Outlaws hoisted their champion up and carried him back to their tent for a victory celebration.

"Man, Papa, if I ate that many hot dogs . . .I'd be in the bathroom for a day or something!" Bae said. "I like them, but not that much!"

"I don't like 'em anymore after Mister Fox made mine look like roadkill," Gisella piped up.

"You've never ate one of mine, dearie," Rumple said.

"You gonna make me one?"

"I will, would you like one now?"

"Uh-huh!"

"If she throws it out on the road Rumple, don't be shocked," Archie reminded him.

"Let me go borrow a grill," he said. He returned a few minutes later with a small portable grill and some hot dogs, lit a fire with his magic, and began cooking them outside the tent. He toasted the buns on the small top tray and set them aside.

"Now no looking at Aunt Belle's boobies while you're makin my hot dog or it'll be roadkill!"

"Gisella!" Marie gasped. Archie facepalmed himself.

Rumple started laughing. "Don't worry, minx. I know to keep my eyes on the grill when I cook."

"I'm watching ya!"

He turned the hot dogs with a long fork, until they were done on both sides with slightly cracked skins. Then he put them on buns and placed them on plates. Condiments were on the table also. "Here you go, Sella." He handed her one.

She took a bite. "Now this is a hot dog Uncle Rumple!"

"Thank God...she's the harshest food critic I've ever seen!"

"I am not, Daddy!"

Bae took one with mustard and relish on it and bit into it and sighed. "Papa, you ought to go on the hot dog commercials."

They all ate Rumple's hot dogs while waiting for the pie eating contest to begin.

Sidney announced the start of the contest a few minutes later.

Little John, Sean Herman, Jeff, and Sneezy were all ready to dive into cherry pies.

The Gold family was ready to cheer on Jeff.

"First one who finishes their pie wins!"

The bell rang and the men dove into their pies, eating frantically.

Even Regina was cheering on the portal jumper who tried so hard to help her back in their land.

"C'mon, Dad! You're almost there!" Henry and Grace screamed.

"EAT HATTER!" hollered Emma

He began eating faster, while behind him both teams clapped for him.

"Better get your potion ready Rumple," David called over to the Gold team.

Rumple patted his pocket.

'Right here, Nolan."

The bell rang. "Time's up!" Sidney yelled.

"He's gotta win!" Henry cried.

Sydney examined the pie plates. "And in third place, with half a pie eaten . . is Sneezy!"

Sneezy smiled . . then sneezed into his handkerchief.

"And in second place with three quarters of a pie eaten . . .Little John!"

"You did good, John!"

Everyone clapped.

"And . . . our winner with the whole pie devoured . . .for the first time this year . . .Jeff Hatter!"

'YEAH!" screamed Henry and Grace and they ran over to their father, hugging him.

"Great job, hatter," Emma said softly.

"It's not quite as good as the one you made me that time in Portland."

"That was Mrs. Fields, hon," she laughed.

Jeff grinned.

He patted his stomach. "I can't believe I ate the whole pie!"

"I would have been ready to throw up," Archie said.

"Well . . . I am kinda stuffed now," the portal jumper groaned.

"Need this, Jeff?" Rumple held out the vial of potion.

"Uh . . ."

"Take it, Hatter," Emma ordered. "Cause you puke all over me and I'll borrow Belle's broom."

"I have it ready!" Belle held up the broom.

"Gimme it, Rumple!" Jeff cried, and drank the potion. "Ugh! What's in this . . .old socks?"

"Not telling," Rumple singsonged.

Jeff relaxed. "Hell, I don't care. I feel better already. Like I could eat another pie."'

"Oh no you're not but you are getting one in your face!" Emma laughed.

"Bring it, darlin'!" he grinned.

"As soon as they announce it, you're getting it!"

"And so are you Doctor," Marie smirked at her fiancé.

"Oh, am I?" Archie asked in his best John Wayne imitation. "Love to see you try, darlin'."

"Well my beast...are you ready for this...?" purred Belle.

"Yummy! Chocolate cream pie!" Gisella cried.

"Me oh my, I like pie!" her husband smirked.

"All right...is everyone ready...let's see who can wear the most pies!"

Emma gleefully threw a chocolate cream pie right in Jeff's face. "Think fast!"

He whipped one right back at her…and missed.

Belle creamed Rumple with another chocolate cream pie, getting whipped cream in his hair.

Archie chased Marie out of the tent, recreating the final chase scene in McLintock, a pie in his hands and a wide grin on his face.

"Not gonna catch me...darlin!" Marie grabbed a pie off one of the tables and threw it, barely missing him.

Rumple licked cream off his face. "Hmm .. .mine's better!"

"Rumple! Quit analyzing the pie and just throw it!" Belle yelled.

He picked one up and lobbed it at her . . .getting her chin and shirt. "Darn! I meant to aim higher." He licked more cream off his face.

Snow clobbered David as he was about to help himself to a large plate of wings he ordered.

"Ohhh Marie...come out come out wherever you are...!" Archie crooned.

"She's in there, Daddy!" Gisella said, pointing to another tent.

Belle threw another pie at Rumple . . but she was laughing too hard to aim right and missed him.

"Missed me, missed me now you have to kiss me!" he giggled.

"I can do that!" she cried and then she did so.

And then smashed another pie right in his face.

Emma and Jeff were having a pie war, turning over tables to use as forts.

Marie dashed out of her hiding place with Archie in hot pursuit.

Gisella trailed after her mother, ready to reveal her hiding places to her father just as the crowd had in the movie.

"Pie in the sky, dearie!" Rumple crowed as he mashed one over Belle's head.

She laughed and mashed another one...right on his backside.

"Moon pie! Been waiting to do that!"

Bae was recording it all on his phone.

Jeff poked his head out from his overturned table just as a pie smacked him in the face.

"Incoming!" Emma chuckled.

"Little late now hon."

He catapulted one at her .. . and it hit her on the shoulder.

"Oh you are goin DOWN, Hatter! Henry...need reinforcements!"

Henry ran over with more pies for her.

"Grace . . .gimme some ammo!"

Grace did so laughing.

Then they joined their parents behind their forts and started throwing.

Belle sat down, feeling a bit tired and started laughing. "We're a wreck! And I wonder if that sister of mine has been caught yet..." She caressed her belly. "Sorry baby...I would've shared but these pies are better being thrown than eaten...if you want a good one, Daddy has to make it..."

'Mm. . .I know." He sat down beside her, needing to rest a bit himself.

Archie caught his fiancée as she was about to climb into the back of David's truck. He pulled her across his lap and smashed his pie down on her backside. She burst into laughter and flipped over, clobbering him in the face with her own then kissed him.

"Get a room!" several people shouted.

Archie thanked his lucky stars his face was covered with whipped cream so that no one could see how he was blushing. They would….as soon as they were married.

The pair returned to their tent. Belle was eager to go on some of the rides, overjoyed when she spotted the teacups. As she and Rumple rode in them, Bae stood off to the side filming them with his phone and snapping pictures. Then he aimed his camera at the Ferris wheel and caught a picture of his aunt and uncle going to the top. Both couples had their arms wrapped around each other, their lips meeting in passionate kisses.

And in a castle in Wonderland the former Queen Mother Cora was seething as she viewed the land without magic through her crystal ball. Her curse of the Broken Hearted would soon be broken completely the day its final victim, a former cricket, bound himself heart and soul to the one he chose and there was nothing she could do to stop it…and she couldn't punish her daughter for making certain that she didn't either by keeping her trapped forever in that miserable realm. They were all taking back the happy endings she'd stolen from them by tricking her daughter into destroying her own.

**A/N: So what did you think of Archie's surprise and Rumple's advice? Also, during their talk, what was the movie Rumple referenced? We put in an ice bucket challenge similar to the ALS one which Bobby Carlyle and Michael-Raymond James (Rumple & adult Bae) did to honor them and all the Once cast! And there's more to come, dearies! Please read and review, thanks bunches!**


	19. A Goddess Bride & A True Love Baby

**19**

**~ A Goddess Bride, A Curse Broken, and a True Love Baby ~**

Regina stepped up to the podium. "Now that we're all...cleaned up...I'd like to announce the winners of the ice bucket challenge." She chuckled. "In third place, raising a total of nine hundred dollars each we have a tie between the Dragons and Crimson Howlers. In second place, raising two thousand dollars we had the CharminglyMad team. In first place...with the highest amount raised in the festival's history...FOUR thousand dollars...we have the Golden Wishes team!"

"Woo Hooo...Golds and Hoppers RULE!" yelled the Scorpions.

"We could've raised more..." said Belle.

"Yes we could have and I'm going to recommend we make the time longer so we can," added her husband.

"At least what we did raise will help."

"Our next event is the story contest...Mrs. Gold will you please come to the childrens' tent?"

"I'll come with you," Rumple offered, linking her arm through his and escorting her to the childrens' tent, the eyes of many an envious woman on them as they passed. She was starting to show more and he'd gained a few pounds as well and it bothered him, made him feel as unattractive as she did but they still only had eyes for each other no matter how they looked.

Their love never had been based on how they looked anyway, but what was inside.

As she entered the tent, she recalled the storytime sessions she used to have for the children in the village back in their world.

"Hi, Missus Gold!" they greeted.

"Hello there," Belle said softly. Rumple helped her into her chair and conjured a pillow for her back and a small footstool for her feet then sat in the chair beside her, making his own back pillow and footstool.

"Ummm...Mister Rumple...can I sit on your lap?" Roland asked nervously.

Rumple looked over at the little boy, who reminded him a great deal of Bae at that age-all floofy dark hair and bright eyes.

"C'mere, lad," he said and held out his arms.

Roland went into them eagerly.

Roland found himself lifted up and snuggled upon the sorcerer's knee, and he found Rumple's lap almost as good as his papa's.

"Aunt Belle, can I sit on your lap...please?" pleaded Gisella.

"Of course, Sella." Belle said. "But it might be a little tight with you and the baby."

"M'not gonna hurt it, am I?"

"No . . .of course not," her aunt laughed. "But you might feel it kick a little."

The baby was a lot more active now and moved all over.

"Oooo...it kicks now? You ever feel it, Uncle Rumple?"

Belle smiled dreamily, remembering the afternoon she felt their baby kick for the first time. She was in the living room reading while Rumple was in his office working on accounts.

She called out for him and felt terrible because he nearly tripped trying to get to her thinking something happened.

"Oh Rumple..." she murmured, her hand on her belly.

"What is it, Belle? Contractions?" he asked, alarmed.

"No...it's kicking...our baby...it's kicking..."

His eyes widened. "May I?"

"That's why I called you in...come darling...let our baby say hello to you..."

He put his hand on her rounded tummy, and then he felt it . . .a foot or a hand poking him. "Oh!" he gasped, wonder spreading through him as he felt his child reaching out to him. "Hello, my wee one . . ."

Belle placed her own hand over his.

He had never gotten to experience this moment with Bae, and it felt so amazing . .. more than any magic he had ever performed.

"Our miracle..." she whispered.

He nodded, awed and humbled as the baby kicked again. "It's verra active . . .like it wants t' dance a jig or something."

She chuckled. "Just like its papa..."

"Haven't done THAT in years, dearie!" he grinned.

"Well you do cut quite a rug at school dances and harvest festival balls..."

"And so do you, sweetheart," he murmured tenderly.

"Only with you..."

"Mmm . . ." he grinned in delight as the baby stirred again.

They sat there for the longest time, hands clasped together while their baby moved beneath them, telling them in its own special way that it loved them and couldn't wait to be with them...just as they were eagerly anticipating the little one's arrival.

Page ~*~*~*~Break

Gisella giggled. "I think it kicked my back!"

"It probably did," Rumple said. "The baby moves a lot now . . .jumps up and down like an acrobat."

"Right on my bladder," Belle sighed.

"That mean you gotta pee a lot?"

"Yes," her aunt laughed.

So did half the other children around them.

"You havta pee a lot when she does Mister Rumple?" asked Roland.

"Umm . . .yes," he answered, thinking that kids these days knew a lot more than they had when he was raising Bae.

"Cause Daddy says since Belle's having the baby...you do stuff she does."

"Uh huh...even puke," added Gisella.

"Gross!"

"Unfortunately, yes, that's true," Rumple sighed. Having a baby was one of the miracles of life, but it wasn't always wonderful.

"I think my daddy's gonna do that if Mommy has a baby," mused Gisella.

Belle giggled. "Oh I would love to see that!"

"I dunno if mine did," Roland said.

"Mine got drunk," remarked another child.

"No lad, I didn't." spoke up Robin from where he stood with Regina.

"Well, Daddy really loves my mommy and I bet he will!" declared Gisella.

"Oh, I hope not," groaned Archie.

Marie elbowed him in the ribs.

"He could . . .but it all depends, minx," Rumple told her. Though his symptoms were because of the soulbond he shared, regular men also experienced Couvade's syndrome.

"Just for that I hope you do, Archibald Hopper!"

"Rumple...you will have to have me committed..." Archie said to his future brother-in-law.

"Yup, you're gonna," declared Roland knowingly.

"Yeah, cause she jinxed ya!" put in a little girl.

"Really, dearie?" the pawnbroker asked, raising an eyebrow. "I'm not in the nuthouse yet."

"He's getting there fast," Bae put in impudently.

"Yeah, because of YOU!" returned his father.

"You might as well face it, Archie...you're going to have it."

"I'm supposed to drive you crazy, Papa. Rules of Teenage Living 101," Bae said loftily.

"Well there'd better not be a damned manhood intervention on me because I'll put my umbrella up someone's..."

"Archie!" Marie cried.

"They know better now . . .right?" Rumple asked pointedly.

"Daddy, you're gonna taste Dove!"

"No . .. he's a grown up," disagreed another little boy. "They can fart, burp, swear, an' scratch themselves in public. My big brother says so."

"EWWW! That's Eti the Yeti!"

"Can they pee on trees? I saw a man do that once."

"Gross!"

"No they get 'rrested!"

"He didn't."

"Cuz the cops weren't there. You shoulda called 'em."

"Okay kids...time for stories," Belle announced.

"I'm not allowed to use the phone."

"He musta been drunk," claimed the kid who said his father had been.

"Storytime..." Belle reiterated.

"Yay! I wanna tell mine!" cried Jason.

"Yes you can, Jason. I've read all of them and you've all done a wonderful job. Our third best story is by Roland Locksley."

"What's yours 'bout Roland?" asked another child.

"Umm...it was a funny one...about how my daddy got caught in a tree by his undies."

Regina burst into laughter. "You did?"

"Yes, my lady, I did." Robin admitted.

"You gonna tell us, Roland?"

The seven contestants all submitted wonderful stories that it was difficult for the teacher to make a decision on the top three. Along with writing them, the children also had the option to draw pictures and Roland's was one that did have his father hanging from a tree by his underwear.

She and Rumple were both laughing so hard they had tears in their eyes while looking at it.

"Yeah, how'd your daddy get his undies stuck in a tree..."

"Maybe he was runnin' from the sheriff?" guessed a small girl with red hair.

"Ummm...not Miss Swan...but yeah."

"Am I glad that never happened to me," Bae muttered.

"It should have, you scamp!" Belle said, swatting him playfully.

"How'd he get down?" someone else wanted to know.

"My daddy hadta cut him down and Little John hadta catch 'im." said a girl named Erin.

More laughter followed that statement.

"Betcha he had an atomic wedgie," remarked the freckle-faced boy who had made the drunk comments.

"Well...it wasn't pleasant..." Robin mumbled.

Bae almost fell on the floor laughing. "Oh my God! That kid . . . oughta be a stand up comedian!"

Belle took Roland's story out of the folder and held up the drawing. "Roland drew this to show the scene for his story."

Bae wiped his eyes. "That's really good for his age."

"It is," agreed Rumple. "And at least he didn't draw it on the WALL, Baelfire!"

"Our second best story was done by Cindy Lou Hoover," Belle announced.

A little blond girl in pigtails stood up, smiling. She had a missing front tooth.

"What'd you do your story on?" Jason asked her.

"Mine was about Christmas," she lisped. "There was a monster that lived up on the mountain 'bove my village called the Grinch . . .an' he usta steal all our Christmas stuff . . like the toys n' the tree n' everything . . ."

The children all gasped.

"What'd you do?"

"Didja kill it?"

"It'd ate 'em, silly!"

"Ya mean the Grinch is REAL?"

Cindy Lou nodded. "Yup. An' he tried to steal my tree . . .but I woke up n'caught 'im!"

"THEN didja kill it?"

"No . . .what's with you an' killin' stuff, Marty?" she frowned. "I gave 'im some cookies n' milk an' I asked him why he was takin' my tree away . . .an' he said he hated Christmas . . . cause he didn't have anybody to celebrate it with. So I 'vited him to the big feast in the town hall . . .an' he was so happy. . .his heart grew three sizes an' he gave back all our stuff an' came to live with me . . ."

"Aww! An' nobody died?" Marty groaned.

"I'm not finished yet," Cindy Lou snapped.

"You're a ghoul!" yelled Gisella at Marty.

"An' when the ogres came . . .the Grinch made mincemeat outta them. And that's who died! Satisfied?" she sniffed.

"My uncle Rumple scared off ogres too," Gisella declared proudly.

"Cool!" a bunch of kids screamed.

"What'd you do to 'em, Mr. Gold?"

"Didja turn em into bugs an stomp em?"

"Umm . . . no, there were too many . . .so I banished them to Tarterus. .. and now they live with all the other bad monsters," Rumple answered.

"That means they went to hell and died," Marty told them.

"What is it with that kid and killing?" muttered Andi to Bae.

"Maybe he's Whale's cousin," her boyfriend whispered.

"The prize story was written and drawn by young Jason Mills," Belle announced.

The little boy blushed.

"What's your story 'bout?"

He glanced over at Gisella. "It was 'bout our pinky promise, Sella."

Archie looked at his fiancée. "Does he...?"

"I think they're a little young for that, Archie."

He hoped so because his daughter was NOT going to have a boyfriend at five if he had anything to say about it.

"So tell us what it's about!" encouraged a girl with dark hair.

"Me an Sella made a pinky promise...she was gonna get a new daddy an I was gonna get a new mommy," Jason answered.

He looked up at Regina. "I wanted Aunt Gina to be my mommy but my real mommy wouldn't let me see her.

"So while we was at a picnic with Mister Fox we made a pinky swear we were gonna get rid of our bad mommy and daddy an get new ones."

"So we did. Jason's bad mommy is a goat and my bad daddy is gonna be someone's prison..."

"Gisella Bordreaux Hopper, do NOT finish that sentence!" warned her father.

"Gisella's bad daddy is in jail with the other bad daddies... an now she has Mister Hopper for her daddy and Aunt Gina is my new mommy."

"I didn't know..." Marie whispered.

"Neither did I," added Regina.

"Yeah but now I want a daddy too," said Jason.

"My daddy can be your daddy," offered Roland.

Robin and Regina were stunned to silence.

"Um...err...it's…uhhh...a little early for that..."

Robin's palms were sweating. He wasn't against the idea but he wanted them to at least DATE first!

"So you gotta date like Mommy an Daddy did and then you can be Jason's daddy too," said Gisella.

"Our daughter, the matchmaker," murmured Archie.

"She gets it from her aunt...right Belle!"

"I plead the fifth."

"All dog owners of Storybrooke get ready to have your friends show off their skills!" announced Sidney.

"Well that's my cue," Archie said.

Marie gave him a quick kiss. "That's for you and Pongo. Good luck."

Belle gave Jason his prize of a set of classic childrens' books and the others all got little trophies. Everyone cheered and Belle gave Jason's story and the pictures that accompanied it to Regina to put on display in the town hall for a week following the festival, along with the other two stories.

Next came the dog contest, where any dogs a team owned could compete in the dog obedience/agility trials. Each team had a dog pair that did the contest, so for instance, Pongo and Major were Golden Wishes dog team, and Pongo went first with the obedience trial.

Archie gave him certain commands and the dog was graded on how well and how quickly he obeyed them as well as if they needed to be spoken or could use hand signals. Archie had worked with Pongo for weeks and the Dalmatian could respond with hand signals as well as spoken commands.

He received an 8.75, a very high score, the highest being a 9. Next to go was Little Brother, the Dreaming Dragon's entry, a pug, owned by Mulan. He also scored well, receiving an 8.25.

Next came a few other dogs, including Zorro, a small Yorkie owned by Aurora and Max, a mastiff owned by one of the girls who worked for Mr. Fox. Both those entries scored quite well, though not as high as the first two. Major was next, and Bae put him through his paces, using only hand signals and whistles.

The dog performed extremely well, responding to all the signals correctly. The judges awarded him an 8.9, an almost perfect score, taking a tenth of a point off because Bae had flubbed signal, causing the dog to pause before executing the command.

But Pongo and Major had the two high scores going into the agility portion of the contest, with Little Brother and Zorro trailing by a slight margin.

The rest of the family watched the event from lawn chairs Rumple set up.

"Pongo an Major are gonna make em all eat their dust!" bragged Gisella.

The agility portion of the test consisted of seven obstacles the dogs had to run through-a set of rubber poles, a huge wall, a slide, a cloth tunnel, two huge rings, a teeter totter and some hurdles. The dog who had the fastest time won.

"Mommy...that looks hard!"

"Yes but Daddy and Pongo have been practicing hard for it."

"That's a walk in the park for Major, isn't it Rumple?" Belle asked her husband.

Since Major was leading, he would go last, with the dog who was last going first.

"He's done these competitions before, dearie, at the policy academy," Rumple said. "And Bae and I have done refresher courses with him at the park, so yes."

Since Major was first in the obedience portion, he would go last here. The dog who was ranked last in the first trial would start first here.

Some of the dogs weren't as well trained and refused some of the apparatus, disqualifying themselves. Others went through them all, but took a long time.

"See I TOLDJA they were gonna leave em in the dust!"

"Major hasn't had his turn yet, Sella," Marie reminded her.

Zorro did well as did Little Brother, though both small dogs had a bit of trouble scaling the wall.

Pongo went after them, guided by Archie.

The Dalmatian happily ran through all the obstacles, urged on by his master, Gisella, and the rest of his family. He emerged with the high score so far of the dogs who had completed the course.

Gisella clapped and yelled, "Yay, Pongo!" when his time was announced.

Archie petted him and said, "Good job, boy!" and fed him a treat.

Bae led Major onto the course. "You ready, Maj?" he asked the shepherd.

Major barked once for yes.

"Show em how it's done Maj!" cheered Gisella.

The shepherd woofed, then became focused as Bae knelt and unsnapped his lead.

"Go Major!" cried Belle.

"On your mark . . .get set . . . Go!"

Bae gave the shepherd his first signal and the dog bolted from the starting line, running through the poles like a black and tan streak.

"C'mon, Major!" Rumple called.

"You've got it boy!" shouted Archie

Major jumped through the hoops like a pro, landing on the other side and crawling through the tunnel while Bae ran alongside, calling to him.

"Attaboy! Now the wall, Maj!" Bae yelled, whistling.

The shepherd emerged from the tunnel and galloped to the wall, springing up and climbing it rapidly.

Pongo was barking excitedly at Archie's side, offering his support of his teammate.

Major reached the top of the wall and jumped off, landing easily on the other side.

He balanced on the teeter totter and then slid down the slide. "Good boy, Major!"

"Are they done now? Did Major and Pongo win?" Gisella asked Rumple.

"Not yet," Rumple said. "Go, boy! One last part."

This was the hurdles, and usually the dog was tired by then, and not as fast, but Major had all the endurance of his breed and completed the hurdles the same way he had begun.

"C'mon, Major!" yelled the little girl.

He crossed the finish line and came to Bae and sat down as he had been trained to do. The clock flashed the time- 2.38- a new trial record!

"He did it!" Belle exclaimed.

"It's MAJOR LIGHTNING THE FASTEST DOG IN ALL THE WORLD!" shouted the Scorpions.

Bae was hugging his dog and Major was licking his face.

Belle snapped a picture with her phone as did Marie.

"Now are they gonna tell us who won?" demanded Gisella.

"In a minute, Sella," her mother said.

Regina stepped up to the microphone. Since some of the dog teams had one disqualification there were only two pairs who had finished the competition. "In second place are Little Brother and Zorro of team Dreaming Dragons!"

She handed Mulan the second place red rosette and a golden trophy with two dog bones in it.

"And today's winners, for the first time ever and the holder of the fastest time in the agility trial, are Pongo and Major of Golden Wishes!" She bent and put rings of flowers around the dogs and gave Bae a golden trophy and a certificate for a year's worth of dog food and treats from Storybrooke Pet Emporium

Gisella jumped out of her chair and ran over to Archie and Pongo, throwing her arms around the Dalmatian.

Belle shuffled over to where Bae stood and embraced her son. "I am so proud of both of you!" she murmured.

Bae blushed. "Aww, Mama! Maj did the hard part."

"Yes he did...and you were so good too!" she cooed, kneeling down to hug the dog.

Major licked her, panting happily.

Rumple came and hugged his son. "You did great, Bae. just like we practiced."

Then he petted the shepherd, who jumped up and licked him under the chin.

"Congratulations Bae," Archie said as he approached with Pongo with Gisella and Marie at his side.

"You too," Bae said, then he went and hugged Pongo too. "Who's a good boy?"

Gisella hugged Major.

Major happily licked her also, and then gobbled the treat Rumple gave him.

"This has been without a doubt the best summer festival I've been to," Belle murmured.

"Because for the first time Belle, we're here with all the people we love..." added Marie.

Which made it the most memorable festival in Storybrooke's history.

Marie woke her daughter early the next morning. "Sella, how would you like to spend this weekend with Uncle Rumple and Aunt Belle?"

"Why? Where you goin' Mommy?"

"Umm...well...Daddy has a conference in Boston."

"Okay."

"All right, let's get you dressed and packed then we'll eat breakfast."

When they came downstairs, Archie was putting pancakes on Gisella's plate and frowning.

"Honey...go in the living room for a minute...okay?" Marie said to her.

"But I wanna eat my pancakes..."

"In a bit. Now...shoo…"

Once their daughter was out of earshot Marie turned to her fiancé. "All right, out with it."

"I just don't think this is a good idea."

"Archie, it's the only way..."

"We don't know that!"

"You and I both know the people in this town...they already look down on us because we live together and I don't want them to use our wedding as another way to put us down even more. At least this way it'll be just the two of us..."

"Your father's going to be upset and so is Belle..."

"They'll understand...Darling...I love you...I WANT to marry you!"

"You know I want to marry you Marie but not like this...sneaking off...like we have something to be ashamed of…"

"After everything settles down we can do it over again...the right way."

He sighed. "And you're sure Belle thinks we're going to a conference."

"Yes."

"I still don't like it."

"Fine! We won't do it!"

"No...no...we'll go…but we're both going to have a lot of explaining to do when we get back."

Neither of them were aware that Gisella had overheard their conversation.

After they finished breakfast, Archie drove over to the Golds' Victorian.

"Uncle Rumple! I'm heeerrrreee!" Gisella called out as soon as she walked through the door.

"Hello, Sella! What brings you here this morning?" he greeted his niece.

"Oh I forgot to tell you, Rumple...Archie and Marie have to go to Boston for the weekend...some kind of conference," Belle said as she joined them.

"We completely forgot about it...preparing for the festival..." Marie said.

"I'm staying with you!" Gisella announced.

Archie found himself unable to meet Rumple's eyes. The other man could spot a con a mile away even from someone who'd been raised to do them.

"Sure you are, sweetie," Rumple said to her, smiling at her.

Bae came into the kitchen. "We got company?"

"I'm gonna stay with you this weekend!" Gisella said excitedly. "Me an Pongo!"

"Hey, imp!" Bae playfully mussed her hair. "You wanna teach Pongo some tricks with me an' Major?"

"Uh-huh."

"Now you be good for Uncle Rumple and Aunt Belle this weekend," Marie said to her daughter.

"Good! We're gonna show 'em how to do some new tricks in this dog book I took outta the library." He showed her a book about advanced tricks for dogs.

Rumple eyed Archie. "You look real thrilled about this conference. Is it one of those boring as hell mandatory things for your certification or something?"

"Umm...yes."

"Been there and done those," the attorney said sympathetically.

"Well...it's just...it feels rushed...and..."

"Archie, we're going to miss our flight," Marie said quickly.

"Marie, we have to pack yet and..."

"That's why we need to get going..."

"Oh...right... "

He hugged Gisella and kissed her cheek. "Love you, Princess. See you when we get back."

"Hopefully you'll find some way to enjoy yourselves this weekend," Belle said with a grin.

"Oh...I think we will," Marie murmured.

The couple left a few minutes later.

"Bae, why don't you bring Sella's bag upstairs and put it in the guest room?" Rumple suggested.

"Okay, Papa," Bae agreed and took the child's bag and bounded upstairs with it.

"Sella, would you like some oatmeal cookies?" Rumple asked her. "I made a batch this morning. Some have raisins and some are plain. Which would you like?"

"Umm...I like raisin ones."

Rumple went to get them and a glass of milk. "Belle, would you like some?"

"You know I can't resist your cookies."

"Tea or milk, darling?"

"Tea, please."

Rumple put the kettle on. Bae came back downstairs and grabbed three oatmeal cookies off the plate on the table.

He popped one in his mouth and went to get another when Rumple said, "Bae, sit your behind down and eat like a normal person and not someone who was raised in a barn!"

"That's what Daddy says to me when I steal stuff while he's cooking," said Gisella.

"Papa, m'hungry!" his son said.

"So? That's no excuse for forgetting the manners I taught you," his father lectured.

"Rumple...is it me or were Marie and Archie acting a bit...off."

Gisella shoved a cookie into her mouth.

Bae sat down, not wanting to get into another argument with his father, who was more and more touchy these days as Belle's delivery date grew nearer.

"You know . . . now that you mention it . . ." he poured the tea into the teapot and set it on the table. "Archie did seem a bit . . .nervous and not very eager to go to this conference. Not really like him."

"Cause they're not...sneakin off to get married..." Gisella blurted.

Bae almost choked on his cookie. "Holy crap!"

Gisella clapped a hand over her mouth.

"Don't think I was supposed to say that..." she mumbled.

Rumple froze with the cookie halfway to his mouth. "Dearie, what are you talking about?"

"Ummm...ummmm...I heard Daddy say he didn't like sneakin off to get married like they had something to be 'shamed of.

"Then Mommy said they'd do it right later but why not now? I wanna be a flower girl!"

"They're ELOPING?" Rumple frowned.

"What's that mean?"

"Sneaking off to get married," Bae replied. "Hot damn, Papa!"

"Yeah they're 'loping but Daddy's not happy about it."

Gisella crossed her arms over her chest. "And I'm not neither! I wanted to be a flower girl and Mommy be a goddess like Daddy calls her! Why's Mommy think people will put them down?"

"Cause people are dumbasses!" Bae snapped.

"I want them to come home!" Gisella wailed.

She glanced over at her aunt. "If they sneak off to get married, they'll be grouchy again!"

"Rumple! We have to stop them! They're ruining their lives!" Belle exclaimed.

"Belle, it's their lives . . .maybe we should-"

"No! They're making a mistake. I know my papa had his heart set on walking both his daughters down the aisle . . .and a wedding should be a family affair, not something you do because you want to avoid gossip!"

"An' Mommy and Daddy love each other...nothing to be 'shamed of!" piped up Gisella.

"No, it's not, Sella," Belle said firmly. "Rumple, get the car . . . we're going after them."

"Belle . . .maybe we should talk to them first . . ."

"We gotta catch em 'fore they fly away, Aunt Belle!"

"No! Rumple, move your ass! Or do I have to get the broom?"

"C'mon, Uncle Rumple...please!" Gisella pleaded.

"Okay, Belle! Don't get excited! It's bad for your blood pressure," Rumple said, trying to keep calm. "All right, Gisella, get in the car. Bae, you stay here in case they call or something. Let's go. We have an elopement to stall."

Over at the Hopper house, Archie was carrying the couple's luggage out to the car.

"I think that's everything," he said, closing the trunk.

"I have everything else in my purse…our marriage license...IDs..."

Marie climbed into the passenger side of Archie's Chevy and as he was about to get in the driver's side Rumple's Cadillac pulled up.

Belle yanked open the door and cried, "Marie Bordreaux, where the hell do you think you're going?"

"Belle, what? I told you we were going to a conference and we're going to miss our flight..."

"Don't you give me that! Sella overheard you say you're going to sneak off and get married? Have your lost your damned mind?!"

"We're not..."

Archie sighed. "Marie..."

"Now, dearie, don't try and pull the wool over my eyes," Rumple scolded. "I know when I'm being lied to."

"All right, yes we're going to Boston to get married!" Marie announced.

"For the love of the gods, Marie, why?" Belle snapped.

"Why? Why?! You know what people in this town think of me and I am NOT going to have them laughing at Archie because he wants to be with me."

Archie leaned against the car, shaking his head.

Rumple scowled. "So you think running away is gonna solve things, dearie? I can tell you right now, it won't."

"No but at least we won't have to put up with any shit at our wedding because it would just be the two of us!"

"I told you this was not a good idea, Marie," Archie said sadly.

"And just who is going to give you grief at your wedding with your family around?" Belle said. "Marie, we're all here to support you and Archie. And if certain people don't like it they can either put up or shut up! Or else I'll shut them up with the Bordreaux Broom!"

Marie walked over to her fiancé and threw her arms around him. "I just want to be your wife...more than anything..."

"I know, sweetheart but they're right...this isn't the way to do it."

"We can't have the wedding we want...no one will be there..."

"Then you need to listen to your heart, dearie," Rumple encouraged. "And to stay the course. Believe me; I know it's not easy. Belle and I went through the wars too with people in this town calling me a monster and a demon and Belle my whore and other things."

"The people who care about you will be, Marie," said her sister. "Like your family and those friends who know you and don't listen to gossip."

Archie lifted her chin and gazed into her eyes. "And that's all we really need, my goddess..." he said softly.

"If you let people dictate your actions now, Marie, then they've won. And you don't want that." Rumple said. "You and Archie are among the strongest people I know. Don't let these bigoted narrow minded dipshits push you around. "

"Mommy, we gotta have your goddess wedding an' give them all a big FU!"

Her parents gasped. "Gisella!" they cried.

Rumple craned his head around. "Now where did you hear that, young miss?"

"Ummm...ummm...nowhere."

Archie scowled. "Want to try again, Gisella Bordreaux Hopper?"

"Umm...Bae..."

"Bae?!" Belle gasped.

"That boy's getting some Ivory when we get home," Rumple growled.

"And you, young lady, have a date with the Dove!" Marie said to her daughter.

"Awwww!"

"So . . . let's unpack the car since you're not going anywhere," Belle said. "Are you?"

"No Belle, we're not," Archie said.

"Good." She said in relief.

"Archie..."

"We'll figure something out, Marie, but we're not sneaking off."

Gisella laughed. "We're gonna give them a big FU!" she sang.

Rumple facepalmed himself.

"Gisella, keep it up and you'll have that Dove in your mouth for a minute and I mean it!" Archie snapped.

"But, Daddy...!"

"You heard your father...that's enough!" Marie said sternly.

Belle sighed. "All right. Rumple, let's go home. Before I need the bathroom."

"I'm sorry, Belle," Marie said softly. "It's just that..."

"You can call me and talk to me anytime," her sister said softly. "I'm here for you. Rumple's here for you."

Marie hugged her.

"I'm sorry about all this, Rumple...I should have known better but...I want to get married as much as Marie does..."

"I know, but like my wife always says-when you find something worth fighting for . . . you never give up. So don't. Or I'll personally whip your ass, Hopper. With my cane of doom."

"At least you didn't try to burn me like Cora did..."

After the failed attempt to stop the curse, Jefferson had taken an injured Jiminy to Rumple to heal. The sorcerer was able to repair his wing but he had a burn scar on his back in his human form from it.

"That witch! She gives all of us a bad name!" Rumple snapped.

"Well...you repaired the damage but she made sure I always had a reminder...even while cursed."

"I'm sorry I couldn't totally heal it . . .but sometimes even magic can't heal everything."

"It's a battle scar I wear proudly since it helped Regina's case."

"That it did, dearie," Rumple agreed.

"We'll ahh...talk about the wedding soon. Right now my daughter has a date with soap."

"So does my son, only he doesn't know it yet," Belle said.

Archie picked up his daughter and the three of them walked back into their house.

"That was close Rumple, too close..."

"I know, sweetheart. But I think they wanted us to stop them . . . subconsciously . . .or else they'd never have talked where Sella could hear them."

"Archie certainly did."

"Yes, because he knew it was wrong to run away," Rumple agreed. "Come on, let's get home. I need to have a talk with Bae about his mouth . .. again. And he's gonna get a taste of Ivory for not watching it."

"And an essay to write..."

Rumple held open the door for her. "Right. Come on, Mama and baby Gold. Home sweet home awaits."

Belle patted her belly.

Now that she was almost at full term, it was getting more and more difficult to get comfortable doing anything

Rumple helped her into the car. "In we go, dearie." He adjusted the seat belt around her, which he'd gotten an added exstension for.

When she first started showing she feared Rumple would no longer be attracted to her but there were little things he would do to show her he still was even if they didn't make love.

She dozed off for a bit during the drive home.

Rumple pulled up to the house and gently shook her shoulder. "Belle, sweetheart . . . we're home."

"Hmmm...oh...are we?"

"Yes, dearie."

"Okay...I don't know why I'm so tired all of a sudden today..."

Rumple helped her out of the car. "Why don't you go lie down? I'll deal with our son."

"Mmmm...maybe I should...you'll come up later?"

"I will," he kissed her gently. Then he put his hand on her belly. "Behave for your mama, baby. Don't be like your big brother."

Belle walked slowly up the stairs, used the bathroom and crawled into bed. She was back to sleep as soon as her head touched the pillow.

Bae came into the house with Major and Pongo to get a snack. "You stop them from running off?"

"We did. And now I have to bring Pongo back over there," Rumple said. "And when I get back . . . we're going to have a talk, Baelfire."

"What did I do?"

"You keep forgetting to watch your mouth around Gisella," Rumple scolded. "Now sit down and wait for me to come back. Your mama's sleeping upstairs, so listen in case she calls. Pongo, come here, boy!"

The Dalmatian bounded over to him, and he put his leash on. "Let's go, boy. You want to see Archie, don't you?"

"Woof!" replied the dog.

Rumple rubbed his ears and then took the dog in his car back over to the Hoppers. They were glad to see the dog and thanked Rumple for bringing him over.

Belle awoke in pain. Fearing something was wrong with the baby she called out for her husband.

"Mama, Papa went to bring Pongo home," Bae said, coming into the bedroom. "What's the matter?"

"Pains...too soon..." she moaned.

"Oh God! Lemme call Papa!" Bae cried, frantic. He pulled out his cell.

Belle sat up, clutching her belly and crying. "Please...I don't want to lose my baby..."

But just as he punched in the number, Rumple came home. "Belle?" he cried. He could feel something was wrong through his bond. Then he swore as he felt a pain tear through him. "What the-oh no! She's in labor!"

He limped as quickly as he could up the stairs.

"Rumple, what's happening...it's too early!" Belle was crying when her husband appeared in the doorway.

"Easy, sweetheart," he said, coming over to her. "When did they start? How far apart are they?"

"I...I'm not sure...a few minutes..."

"Okay . . .okay . . .let's time them . . . Jesus H. Christ . . .!" he cried, gasping. "Dammit . . ." he was nearly doubled over as he absorbed her pain through the link. "Bae . . . you time them . . ."

Minutes later she felt another and grasped his hand.

"Mama, tell me when you have one," Bae said.

"Shouldn't we...go to the hospital...?" Belle whimpered. "Having...one now..."

"Umm . . .okay . . ." Bae began timing her on his watch.

Rumple fumbled his cell out. Then he dialed Doctor Jo.

"Hello, Dr. Jo? It's Mr. Gold," he said after the answering service had patched him through. "Belle's having contractions . . . umm . . . we're timing them now . .. "

"Oooohhhh another one!" Belle groaned.

"Bae, how far apart was that?"

"Uh . . .maybe seven, eight minutes . . ."

Rumple told the gynecologist. "Should we bring her in to get checked?"

"Yes . . .I think it could be Braxton-Hicks contractions, Rumple-false labor, but better safe than sorry. With this baby, I need to be careful. So bring her on over and we'll see."

"What did she say?" Belle asked frantically.

"Okay, we'll be over." Rumple said and hung up. "She said to come on in to get checked. C'mon, let's get you in the car."

"Oh gods...it hurts so much..."

Together with Bae helping her, they got Belle in the car. Rumple panted and leaned on the car for a moment afterwards, wincing as he felt another contraction stab him.

"Papa, can you drive?" asked Bae. "Maybe I oughta call Uncle Archie."

"No . .. I'll be fine . . .I just need to . . .block it out . . ." Rumple said, wiping sweat from his brow.

"Ohhhh...not again..." Belle wailed as she felt another one, worse this time. "Rumple..."

"Ahhh . . .fucking hell . . .!" her husband groaned.

Marie warned her that childbirth was not a walk in the park but she never imagined it would be THIS painful.

Bae punched in Archie's number. "Uncle Archie, umm . . . Mama's in labor and needs to go to the hospital and Papa can't drive cause he's sharing it!"

"I'm on my way!"

Archie ran up the stairs two at time and into Marie's room. "Belle's in labor and I need to take them to the hospital."

"Archie, it's too soon!"

"I know...I'll call you after I get there."

Rumple yanked open the car door and sat down before he fell down, trying his hardest to bring all his skill at blocking pain to the forefront. He'd been able to block out the Dark One for years. "Dearie, relax! Please!"

Archie pulled in a few minutes later. "Okay Rumple...let's get you in the backseat with Belle."

Both of them were like walking wounded, leaning on each other and Bae and Archie.

"Oh I hope to HELL I don't go through this if Marie has another baby..." Archie mumbled.

"You'd . . . better start praying .. ." Rumple panted harshly. "Because this . . . fucking . . . SUCKS!" Even with all his techniques, he still felt Belle's pain. It was the price of the soulbond.

"I can see that!" Archie hopped into the driver's seat and headed for the hospital. "And for the love of the gods...don't have the baby in the car..."!

"You...you're NOT funny Archie and I hope you DO go through it..." Belle was panting. "Ohhhhhh!"

"Shit...why the hell do I have to hit every goddam red light!" Archie complained.

"Breathe . . .dearie . . .ahhh . . .gods . . ."

"Turn you miserable piece of...why the HELL doesn't Regina get these things in sync!"

"Because . . . . she isn't . . .damn having a baby . . ." Rumple moaned.

"The hell with it...hold on back there! Nothing coming for miles and the light stays red…not today!"

Rumple had his arm around Belle. "It's gonna be okay . . ." Sweat dribbled down his cheeks. "Baby . . . you listen to your papa . . . and go to sleep . . .cause it's not time for you to come out . . ."

"Yes because I don't know a damned thing about birthing babies...running red lights, yes!" Archie grumbled from the driver's seat.

"Hurry up, Hopper!" Rumple shouted.

"Keep your shirt on! We're almost there!"

He sped into the emergency room entrance.

"Okay Rumple, we're here."

"Belle . . .c'mon . . . sweetheart . . ." Rumple gasped. "Archie . . .get us a wheelchair or something . . .or I'm gonna fall on my ass right here . . ."

He sprinted into the emergency room and grabbed one of the wheelchairs.

"Doctor Hopper, what do you think you're doing?"

"I've got Belle Gold outside in labor and her husband...acting like he's in labor so get up off your ass and help me out here!" he snapped at the nurse behind the desk.

"Well!" she huffed. "I liked you better before you met that dancer!"

"And you've always been a bitch, Morgana so let's not split hairs here!"

Morgana Triton glared at him and grabbed the other wheelchair. "Doctors...think they can boss you around."

"Oh will you shut up and move it!'

In the car, Belle and Rumple were whimpering and squeezing each other's hands.

Archie came out of the emergency room with one of the wheelchairs. "C'mon Belle...nice and easy..."

"Good lord...Mr. Gold, are you all right?' asked Morgana.

"No . . .she's in labor . . .and so am I!"

Archie rolled his eyes. "Does he LOOK like it, you demented octopus?"

"Oh shut up, you insect!"

Archie ignored her and wheeled Belle into the emergency room with Morgana pushing Rumple behind him.

"Right this way, Mrs. Gold," said a tall nurse in blue scrubs. "You too, Mr. Gold. Dr. Jo will be here shortly. She's up on maternity signing a release form."

They wheeled them into a small curtained room, and helped Belle onto the bed in it.

"Ohhhh when is it going to STOP!" she wailed.

"I think . . . I should've borrowed Jeff's gun!" Rumple cried, hunched over.

"Rumple!"

The nurses smirked to themselves. Then one began to take Belle's blood pressure and another hooked up a fetal heart monitor to her belly. "Okay, Mrs. Gold . . . we're gonna time these contractions . . ."

"WE DID THAT ALREADY!"

"Hush . . .calm down . . ." said one of them. "Just breathe . . ."

"Easy for...you...to say...you're not the one in PAIN!"

"Where the hell is Dr. Jo!" Rumple snapped.

"Ahhhh will you hurry up and get this OVER WITH!" yelled Belle.

"Right here," she answered. "Sorry the damn elevator on three got stuck. Okay Belle, let's see what's going on. Miranda, I need an ultrasound machine in here, stat!" The doctor began to draw on gloves.

Then she came and put her hands on Belle's head. "Look at me, honey. Now relax. You're making the contractions worse." A bright white glow came from her hands. It drifted over Belle.

The healing light soothed the agitated fearful mother and slowly the pulsing contractions eased.

"Ohhhh that feels better..."

"There! Now let me see if you're dilated," she said. "Rumple, how are you?"

"Umm . . .a little better . . ."

"Good. You just breathe over there while I take a peek here . . ."

Doctor Jo examined Belle and shook her head. "Nope. You're not dilated yet, honey."

"So...I'm not having the baby...?"

"Umm . . .no . . .let me just hook up the ultrasound and monitor baby Gold here for a bit . . ." she took the wand the tech handed her, and waited till the tech had coated Belle's belly with the gel before running the wand over her.

On the screen they could see the baby . . .playing with a foot.

"Ohhh...look Rumple..."

Rumple wheeled himself over to the bed so he could see the monitor. "Hey, you little scamp! All that an' you're playing!"

Doctor Jo laughed. "See . . .the baby's saying it's not quite ready to be born yet . . .otherwise I'd never have been able to make those contractions stop . . .and baby would be getting into position . . ."

They could hear the swishing sound of the baby's heartbeat echoing in the room.

Suddenly the baby turned its head . . .and looked right at them, blinking its eyes. Then it moved its hand as if it were waving.

"Oh!"

"Rumple...its...looking at us...!"

Rumple was close to tears. "Hello, precious little one . . ." he waved back to it.

"Miranda, get a picture!" Jo ordered. "Hello, baby Gold!"

"It...wants to come out,...and see us..."

The baby seemed to press its hand against Belle's tummy, splaying the little fingers.

"Soon, darling..." she murmured, pressing her hand to her belly, feeling the baby's hand moving under her palm.

On the screen, the baby suddenly stuck its hand in its mouth, sucking it.

"Someone's had a busy day..." Belle whispered. "And you're sleepy, aren't you..."

The baby looked like it was curling up on its side. Then it yawned.

"Go to sleep, little imp," Rumple crooned.

"Yes . . .see, it's settling down," Jo said, and the baby's heartbeat grew a little less strident.

Belle felt herself drifting off.

"They're sleeping," Rumple said, quietly amazed.

"I know, Papa. They're tired." She pointed to the screen.

Baby Gold now had its eyes closed, and was sucking on its fist.

"We'll watch a little more, than you can take her home."

Out in the waiting room Archie was trying to keep up with Marie who was texting him constantly for updates.

**Nothing yet.**

**She could be in labor for hours.**

In the room, the ob/gyn watched the monitor for several more minutes and then she had her tech print out a few more pictures for the Golds and said, "Okay, that's all for tonight, folks. You can go home, Rumple. This was a false alarm."

Belle woke up a few minutes later. "Rumple...is everything all right?"

He held her hand. "Yes, darling. You're not in labor yet. We can go home. The baby's asleep."

"This happens sometimes, Belle. it's normal . . .it could have been because of some excitement or stress," Dr. Jo said. "But if you get them again, don't hesitate to call me."

"Wasn't it beautiful, Rumple...?"

She smiled at Dr. Jo. "We will...I just want to see him..or her...soon..."

He nodded, wiping his eyes with his handkerchief. "Yes . . .it was . . ." He looked at the doctor. "How soon do you think . . .?"

"Hmm . . . well, my best guess is . . .anytime within the next three to four weeks . . .so we'll keep a close watch now." She smiled at them. "You'll be holding your baby sooner than you think."

Three weeks later Rumple stood in his backyard watching as it was being transformed into a setting out of a Greek Mythology book and he couldn't have been happier.

In less than two hours, his beloved Belle's sister would at last be married to her true love.

The members of the wedding party would represent the gods and goddesses of the Greek pantheon and to no one's surprise, Rumple and Belle chose to be Hades and Persephone, the rulers of the Underworld.

Belle would stand with her sister as matron of honor but there had been some debate as to whom would be Archie's best man. The groom considered both men to be his best friends and did not want to slight either of them. Finally it was decided that Geppetto, who had been a lifelong friend of Archie's should be the one to stand with him. At first Archie was worried that Rumple WOULD feel slighted.

"Nonsense...after this you'll be my brother-in-law."

Archie already felt like he was and had before he and Marie went on their first official date.

Geppetto was costumed as Hermes, the messenger of the gods. Emma and Jeff Hatter who were a bridesmaid and groomsman would be costumed as Artemis and Orion. Regina and Robin Hood were costumed as Athena and Ares.

Snow and Charming would portray Hestia and Dionysus and Maurice would walk his daughter down the aisle as the king of the gods, Zeus.

"You look beautiful, Marie," Belle said softly while her sister stood in her bedroom gazing at herself in the mirror.

"To think that we were going to miss out on all this..." Marie whispered.

Marie's fears that their wedding would be a small one, attended only by family were quickly put to rest after the invitations had gone out and though it had been on such short notice, so many in the town banded together to make it the perfect day for the couple.

Belle glanced over at the clock beside her bed and slowly rose to her feet. "Come on...this is the day you've been waiting for."

"My whole life..."

The two women met their escorts at the bottom of the steps, Belle holding out her hand for her husband.

Her eyes, however were admiring his leather pants.

After the baby's born Belle...after the baby's born...

Gods but they had a lot of catching up to do and a weekend at the cabin would be a start...but her sister would have it first for the first two days of her honeymoon.

Maurice reached for Marie's hand. "I wish your mama was here to see this, poppet."

"So do I, Papa. She would've liked Archie."

"I'm ready too, Mommy!" exclaimed Gisella running to them in her little flower girl's costume.

Marie laughed.

"You remember what you're supposed to do...right...?"

"Uh-huh...I'm gonna throw flowers on you and Daddy when we're done too!"

Outside the groom was getting nervous.

"What's taking so long? Is she backing out? Oh God..."

"You know better than that!" Geppetto scolded. "Marie loves you...and she'll be here now stop panicking or you're going to pass out and have an angry bride on your hands."

"You need a little courage booster, Hopper?' Jeff said and pulled a whiskey flask from the pouch around his waist.

Emma smacked him. "Jeff! I swear to GOD if you get him drunk there is going to be a Greek tragedy here!"

"I can just give him a little sip..."

"No! Now put that damned thing away!"

"Fine..." he pouted.

The orchestra began playing the opening notes of the wedding march.

While they waited for Maurice and Marie, Rumple and Belle were escorted to two recliners set up in the front row as both of them were having a difficult day with pregnancy symptoms.

Finally the bride and her father stepped out onto the lawn, Marie dressed in a white satin and lace peplos similar to the one she wore the night they were reunited at the Foxtrot. On her left arm was a new bracelet in the shape of a cricket that Rumple made for her from his own spun gold.

"Who gives this woman in marriage?"

"I do...her father, Maurice Bordreaux," Maurice declared proudly.

He kissed her on the cheek and placed her hand in Archie's. "I love you, poppet."

"I love you too, Papa..."

Belle beamed as she held Rumple's hand, her feet up on the foot rest. She was costumed as Persephone, Queen of the Underworld, though her feet were too swollen to fit in the gilded sandals she'd bought originally. "Oh, Rumple! She's such a beautiful bride!" Tears sparkled on her lashes.

"I know, dearie," he murmured. "And Archie's a very handsome groom." He sniffed too, blinking back tears.

Belle grimaced and put a hand to her back. She'd been having twinges and lower back pain off and on this whole morning.

Rumple shifted in his recliner. His back hurt as well. He was costumed as Hades, ruler of the underworld, though he doubted if Hades had ever suffered from Couvade syndrome.

"Henry...when is he going to break the curse?" Grace asked her brother.

"When he kisses her I think..."

Rumple flinched when he heard the conversation taking place between the hatter children behind him.

"Darling, what is it?"

"The final victim...it WAS Archie!"

"What...you mean the second curse?"

"Yes..."

"So...it's still active...?"

"Yes...and he's the ONLY one that can break it because he has the one thing no other curse breaker before him did...a pure spirit..."

"But will he break it...?"

"He will...but I doubt he'll know it."

And hopefully their child would not be born until after the curse was broken or it risked becoming a victim...

The couple faced each other and as many couples did once they came to this new land, they would speak their own vows.

"Archie...when I first saw you in our land...I made the mistake of thinking you were just an insect...something to smash with the broom. But in the time you were in Rumple's castle I got to see there was more to you but we didn't have enough time to find out if we could be more than that to each other. Then...the night you walked into the Foxtrot...and I saw the man behind the cricket I couldn't remember I felt drawn to you...though I didn't know why...

Before I met you, I thought true love was possible...for everyone else but me. I was a ruined woman…in both lands...but you knew that...and loved me anyway. And every time I gave you a reason to walk away, you came back. You came back because you didn't see me as a ruined woman...you saw me as someone who was given a bad hand in life and survived it and in its darkest moments you were there with me...giving me the strength I needed to pick myself back up after I'd been torn down…

You once told me that I teach the torches to burn bright but it's you that teaches them to burn bright for me…just when I think I'm lost in darkness…you light my way home…I love you Archie Hopper and I am going to spend the rest of my life making myself worthy of the love you've given me…"

Archie took a deep breath. "On our first actual date I told you I had a speech prepared for you…but for the life of me I still don't remember it now because I don't think it would've been what I wanted to say anyway." He gazed into her eyes before he continued. "You never thought true love was possible for you...and I didn't either...for me. I didn't think anyone could love me...first being the son of con artist parents...and then later as a cricket. And then a goddess walked into my life...

Even when the curses came and separated us...my mind may have forgotten you but my heart never did. I decided that night after we met at that damned club...scared as hell as I was...that if I didn't at least take a chance with you...I'd regret it for the rest of my life. And I still say it's you who teaches the torches to burn bright...for me.

When I start second guessing myself your light is all I need to see to restore my confidence that I can be the man I've always wanted to be. And now I am. I love you Marie Bordreaux...I always have...and I always will..."

"May I have the rings please..." the minister said, a bit choked up himself along with the rest of the congregation.

Made from his brother-in-law's spun gold, the band itself was in the shape of a Greek circlet with a diamond in the shape of a cricket holding a rose, the symbols of both the bride and the groom.

His eyes never leaving hers, he gently slid the ring onto her finger. Belle than handed her sister Archie's ring.

"With this ring I thee wed," they spoke in unison, wanting to use the traditional phrase in this land and faced the minister again.

"By the power vested in me by the state of Maine, I now pronounce you husband and wife."

Archie turned to the goddess that was at last his wife, his eyes shining with love. "I love you…with all my heart and soul…" he whispered and drew her to him.

"And I love you with all of mine…"

The moment their mouths met, a white light surrounded them that was so bright people held their arms over their eyes to shield them from the glare. The light swept over the wedding guests like a tidal wave, restoring all their memories of those they loved, past and present restoring bonds that had been broken by one woman's madness and strengthening those that had already been reformed. Oblivious to it all, Archie held his wife tighter, deepening their kiss.

"A pure spirit that knows true love can break any curse…." Rumple murmured, squeezing his wife's hand. "It's over, Belle…they're free…we're _all _free…"

"Thank you, Archie…" Regina wept, feeling Robin reach out and take her hand in his.

The light pulsed through the town, seeking out all those lost and lonely and restoring their hopes that true love would someday be theirs…if they just believed and kept looking.

In Wonderland Cora screamed as she gazed into her crystal ball in time to see her ultimate failure. Then the crystal glowed white and shattered into pieces. All magic came with a price and now the price for casting the Curse of the Broken Hearted would at last be paid. Upon being broken the price to be paid was the life of the caster. The door to her vault blew open and the box containing her heart flew out. It fell on the floor and the lid opened, the enchanted organ rising in the air. White light surrounded the heart and it began to crack. Cora screamed again, clutching her hand to her chest. She fell to the floor dead as the heart shattered.

Will Scarlet, the Knave of Hearts smirked and walked down the hall to a room where his fiancée Anastasia was having tea with one of Cora's ladies in waiting. "The Queen of Hearts is dead!" he declared triumphantly.

The younger woman stood up, a small smile on her lips. "Long live the Red Queen and King," she murmured as she gazed into his eyes. Wonderland was theirs at last. All the members of Cora's court now kneeled before the new queen and her chosen consort.

Back in Storybrooke, the newly married couple reluctantly broke their kiss.

"People of Storybrooke, I give you Doctor and Mrs. Archibald Hopper!" he announced.

Belle threw her arms around her sister. "That was beautiful Marie, simply beautiful," she sobbed.

"I know..." Marie was in tears herself and had been from the moment her husband started speaking.

Archie allowed the two women a moment alone. The wedding was over...his greatest challenge was yet to come. He approached his brother-in-law.

"Did I...do all right?" he asked.

Rumple stood up. "You did fabulous, Archie!" He hugged the other man.

"I was kind of worried I'd get so damned nervous and sound like an idiot up there..."

"You didn't. You sounded perfect . . .honest and sincere, like your idol John Wayne," Rumple smirked.

"And I've got my Katie..."

"You do. And your daughter . . .but if you're gonna shoot her boyfriend, let me know, so I can help you hide the body," the pawnbroker joked.

Archie grinned. "Now THAT is one thing I would look forward to. Any boy who wants to date MY daughter is going to find out this cricket is no pushover. You run a gauntlet or I hand you your balls on a plate."

"And I'd be happy to help you," Rumple chuckled.

"Daddy!" Gisella screeched, hugging his knees.

"Easy there Princess...Daddy still needs to walk!" Archie chuckled.

"Yeah, you don't want to cripple him like Uncle Rumple, now do you?" Rumple laughed.

"Nooooo...but I wanna go see you dance with Mommy and smash cake on her face!"

"Oh I intend to…I owe her for that pie in my face. C'mon Princess..." Archie scooped up his daughter and took her over to where Belle and Marie stood.

"Darling, shall we?" Belle asked her husband.

Rumple took her hand. "Of course, Belle. For as long as we can stand, that is."

"My feet are killing me...I don't think I'll be able to dance today..."

His eyes twinkled as he took her in his arms. "You are my serene Mother Goddess, dearie. Come on, let's go and sit down over here." Even though she was vastly pregnant and he had a cane, both were the picture of sheer beauty, and drew glances as they walked across the lawn.

"Wonder if he's going to have the PAINS...like we do?" Snow mused.

"Oh yes...Archie told me he will...they had false labor ones a few weeks ago and they nearly drove him insane.." Regina said with a laugh.

"I think I'd want to see this...and record it," Emma said with a smirk.

"Just a little while longer sweetie," Belle said softly to the baby as she sat down.

But Baby Gold had other plans...

Bae came over to them and asked, "Would you guys like some water, it's hotter than hell out today?"

"Yes, that would be...ooooohhhhh!" Belle cried and clutched her belly. "Oh no! Not now!"

Rumple gasped. "Oh HELL no!"

"Mama, you can't be having the baby now!" Bae cried. "Go back to sleep, kid!"

"Rumple...I...don't think...oh...GOD...this is a false one this time!"

"I . . .don't . . .think . . .so . . . either . . .!"

"Belle, what's wrong...oh my God...!" Marie gasped as she and Archie ran over to them.

"You mean she's...NOW?"

"It's not like I...agggghhh planned it!"

Belle clasped Rumple's hand in hers.

"Okay...we'll drive you to the hospital..."

Rumple stood up. "Breathe, dearie . . ." His face was twisted.

"NO! This is your wedding reception...Dove can take..us...will call..you...when...we're...done!"

"Belle, are you sure..."

"MARIE HOPPER DON'T YOU DARE ARGUE WITH ME NOW!"

"All right...Bae, get that bird over here and tell him to haul ass!" Marie commanded her nephew.

"Okay! Alex!" he yelled at Dove.

"Rumple...don't think I...can stand...hurts too much.."

"You won't have to," Regina said from where she stood and conjured a set of wheelchairs.

"Okay . . ." he gasped too.

"Th,...thank you...Regina..."

They helped Belle into a wheelchair.

Rumple got into his own, wincing every time he felt a contraction hit.

Marie hugged her sister. "It's going to be okay, Belle...Rumple's right there with you...whether he wants to be or not.." she added with a smirk.

"Will...call...you in...morning...want details!"

"Rumple...make them give you something...Gods I do NOT want to go through that," Archie said to his brother-in-law.

"Ohhhhhh...Baby...why couldn't you WAIT!" Belle groaned.

"Damn . . .kid . . .takes after . . .its . . .mother . . ." Rumple groaned.

Every man in the crowd winced.

"That has to SUCK!" exclaimed Jeff.

"You don't need to tell me that, Hatter!" the sorcerer snarled.

Dove and Bae put the couple in the car and Rumple's faithful assistant raced them to the hospital.

Bae called ahead to let the staff know they would be arriving and orderlies waited outside, wheelchairs ready, shocked that they would be hauling a husband in too.

Rumple squeezed Belle's hand. "It's gonna be okay . . . soon . . . we're gonna hold our baby . . ."

"What do we do with him...it's like he's in labor too?"

"Oh for God's sake just put him in the other bed."

"Maybe we ought to give him a sedative . . . knock him out?"

"Give him Stadol."

"He'll be wasted!"

"I don't think he'll care!"

"Yeah he can have all the drugs he wants...he's not havin the kid." They injected him with Stadol. As they took effect the sorcerer started feeling giddy.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE CAN HAVE ALL THE DRUGS HE WANTS? I'M THE ONE HAVING THE REAL PAIN!"

"And I'll be as hiiiigggh as a kite by then..." Rumple sang.

"Oh my God..is he singing Rocket Man?"

"Oh . . . what lovely printed curtains you have . . . let's count the flowers. . .Belle, look,-one, two, three, four—" he giggled like the Dark One .

"Yeah...he is."

"I'm a little busy counting something else, Rumple...ahhh Goooooddd!"

"Dearie, are you in pain? because I'm not!" he giggled again. "I can't feel anything . . .I'm floating . . ."

"You're gonna be floating out the window here in a minute...!"she growled. "I want whatever the hell HE got!"

Rumple began singing. "Scooby Dooby Doo, where are you? We got some work to do now!"

"I cannot believe this...my husband is STONED...stoned!"

Rumple gave her a lopsided smile. "Oh dearie dearie dear! Eeeeverrybody must get stoned!"

"Now he's singing Bob Dylan! I gotta record this!" cried a nurse.

"Whaddaya mean you gotta record this!" Belle growled. "I'M in labor here and HE'S going on YouTube? Jesus H. Christ tonight!"

"I'm sorry about that, Mrs. Gold. All of you knock it off!" Dr. Jo yelled. She went to examine her patient. "Sorry, Belle, can't give you any pain meds, you're progressing too fast. Can't risk it, and with the way you're moving along, baby will be here very soon."

Rumple started singing Love Shack. "Bang bang bang on the door, baby!"

"I'm gonna bang bang bang YOU on the head if you don't snap out of it, Rumple!"

"Yes, dearie. I'll shut up now."

Then he passed out . . .

"Oh no...no come on...I'm not having our baby myself!"

"Anybody got a cattle prod?"

Belle groaned.

Fifteen minutes later he woke up. "Huh? What'd I miss? Oh my God! She's having the baby! Is the baby born yet?"

"No...Rumple...please tell me you're not still high..."

"High? Me? Belle, you know I don't do drugs!" He rubbed his eyes. "Why am I lying here? Did I pass out? Damn, Bae will never let me live this down!"

"Never mind that n...ooooooohhhh!"

Rumple leaped from the bed. "It's okay, Belle. Breathe, dearie. C'mon!" He winced as she crushed his hand and wondered if he'd ever have use of it again.

"It hurts so much..."

"I know . . ." he said, gritting his teeth. "Fuck!" He scowled. "Why aren't they giving you anything for the pain?"

"Can't ...going too fast, afraid it will hurt the baby..."

"Okay . . .ahh . . .maybe if I link with you some more . . .it'll help?" he panted, his face ghost pale. "God, this is worse than the time I smashed my leg . . ."

"Rumple...please...you've already taken enough..."

"I promised . . .on our wedding night . . .we'd share . . .everything . . ." sweat beaded his brow. " . . .and you know . . . I never break my deals . . ."

"I love you..."

"You LOVE me? . . . I DID this to you . . ."

"We did this...together...with the strength of our love..."

"Right . . . and together we're going to do this . . .right?"

She lay her head on his shoulder. "Together..."

The delivery room staff was astounded.

Most women at this point were cursing out their husbands and threatening divorce or other equally insane things.

But this husband was different from the others. He'd experienced his wife's symptoms as if they were his own.

He could empathize and understand what his wife endured . . . and that in itself was an amazing miracle . . .never mind that the woman in the bed wasn't ever supposed to have children.

True love, the strongest magic in all the realms, flowed through them one special night and soon the child that had been created from that love would be born.

Rumple put his hand on Belle's stomach. "Hey there, little one. You mind making this just a little easier on your mama?" And his hand glowed with a brief flicker of light.

"Rumple, are you sure you should..."

" . . . it's not me who'll be doing it, dearie . . .it's the baby . . ." he replied.

"All right, Mrs. Gold...we're going to need you to start pushing..."

Belle looked at Rumple. "This . . . is it . . . the homestretch, dearie," he crooned. "Now . . .let's bring this baby home . . ." He locked eyes with her. And once again the magic of their love flowed through her. The pain lessened and she pushed with all her might.

"Good, Mrs. Gold...very good. Now another. Are you ready?"

"Yes! Yes! Rumple . . .I can feel . . .our baby . . ." Belle had tears streaming down her face. Tears of joy.

"Push!"

"Belle . . . you can do it . . . I believe in you . . .c'mon, dearie . . . once more . . ." he encouraged, giving her his strength.

She pushed again harder this time and felt the baby move.

"Rumple...can you see it...?"

"The head's crowning, Belle," Dr. Jo called. "You're almost there."

She was exhausted but she wouldn't give into it...not now.

Rumple could feel her exhaustion through the bond. "I know . . . you're tired . . . but you're doing good . . . so good . . .third time's the charm, dearie . . ." He took her clasped hand and kissed it.

The moment his lips touched her skin she was infused with energy and gave one final push and Adriana Isabella Gold made her grand entrance.

A baby's joyful cry filled the air, and Dr. Jo said, "Belle and Rumple, say hello to your daughter!" she placed the baby on Belle's tummy when she had cut the cord.

"Rumple...she's so beautiful...our little girl..." Belle wept.

"Our little miracle..."

And the baby looked at them with alert indigo eyes and smiled.

"Hello my sweetheart...I'm your mama...and this is your papa..."

The baby waved a small hand at them, and at a nod from the doctor, Belle picked her up.

"Hello, Adriana, dearie," Rumple said. He was crying.

Belle cradled their daughter in her arms, tears in her own eyes.

"We love you so much..."

The baby made a soft cooing noise and her tiny hand brushed his cheek wiping the tears away.

All the difficulties they'd faced in the months prior to this had been worth it ...well worth it and if the gods willed it, they would do it all over again as many times as they wanted to add on to their growing family.

But they both suspected this precious child would be their last.

The nurses took the baby to get cleaned up and weighed and measured while Belle delivered the afterbirth. Rumple hovered nervously while they took care of his precious baby, who weighed 7lbs, 3 oz and was 18 inches long.

Belle was exhausted yet she still did not want to sleep. She wanted to hold her daughter...and her husband.

"Mrs. Gold, you should get some sleep."

"Congratulations," her doctor said, smiling. "That was one of the easiest first deliveries on record. No tearing and your baby's doing great, Belle." She beckoned to the nurses. "Bring Adriana here and you too, Rumple. Let's take a picture."

Belle smiled, holding out her arms.

A nurse placed Adriana in Rumple's arms. He walked carefully back over to Belle and placed their baby in his wife's arms. He put his arm around her while Dr. Jo snapped a picture with her phone.

In Rumple's arms, her daughter in hers, Belle drifted off to sleep, a small smile on her lips.

Rumple texted Bae on his phone, telling him about his new baby sister being born . . . and he would pick him up tomorrow morning to see her.

Though the baby was born, the magic's price would still be paid as long as Belle endured it.

Now for possibly the first time in history...a man would experience post-partum symptoms.

He limped after them as they wheeled Belle back into her room and put Adriana in a bassinet beside her. Then he went and collapsed on the other bed and fell asleep, a smile on his face. Miracles happened, once in awhile. If you believed.

His phone buzzed throughout the night with text messages from the women of Storybrooke inquiring how the little family was doing.

While the men of Storybrooke plotted a second manhood intervention.

They would have to be more careful this time.

Bae was so excited to meet his little sister he hardly slept.

He texted Andi and his friends dozens of times to share the good news. "We've got a baby girl, Major!" he told the dog. Then he texted his aunt and uncle hoping they weren't too…busy yet to see it.

Major barked excitedly and he ran over to the wall where his leash hung and grabbed it, depositing it at Bae's feet.

"I don't think they'll let you in to see her boy.." Bae said sadly.

The shepherd whined sadly.

"I know...hospital rules...but you can see her when she comes home."

He texted his father to ask him if he was on his way to pick him up.

**I can get a ride with Uncle Archie...if he's not busy...if you want me to.**

**_See what he says, Bae. Otherwise I'll come get you._**

**Okay but I'm kinda worried I'll interrupt them doing...that...**

**_Umm . . .okay . . .call Alex then. I forgot . . .I don't have my car . . ._**

The teenager was blushing even as he wrote those words.

**I'll try Archie first...cabin's closer...**

He pulled up his uncle's number and wrote his text, hoping he wouldn't get grilled for interrupting the honeymoon.

Archie was putting away the last of the breakfast dishes when his cell phone buzzed with a text message.

**Would you want to take me to the hospital to see my sister?**

Archie smiled. **We'll be there shortly.**

"Who was that?' Marie asked softly.

"Bae...he needs a ride to the hospital and I'm sure you want to see our niece too."

"Yes I do..."

**He's coming Papa...**Bae sent to his father.

**_Okay. I'll see you soon._**Rumple put the phone down.

Adriana was with Belle in the bed, curled up by her.

"My precious angel.." she cooed.

She kissed her daughter's forehead and tickled her chin.

Rumple pulled a chair up and smiled down at them. "How's my beautiful girls?"

"Just perfect..." Belle whispered. "Do you want to go to Papa, sweetheart?"

Adriana waved her hands and gurgled.

"All right...here's Papa..." With a smile, Belle carefully placed their daughter in her husband's arms.

Rumple cradled his baby girl in his arms. "Hello, sweet thing. You're Papa's sassy little minx, aren't you?"

They were the perfect picture to the young mother...her true love and the child their true love had created.

The baby gurgled and smiled up at him.

"Are we there yet?"

Archie wanted slam his head into a wall.

"Gisella, you asked me that a minute ago and a minute before that!"

"But I wanna see the baby!"

"And so do we now cut it out!"

"Relax, kid! The baby ain't going anywhere." Bae chuckled.

"Are we there yet?" she asked again a few minutes later.

Archie groaned.

"Gisella!" her mother scolded.

"Sella, ya want me to Stiltskin Tickle Torture you?" Bae threatened. "Cause I will!"

"Daddy, drive faster. I wanna see the baby!"

"Yes well I do NOT want to spend my honeymoon in a jail cell either!" her father retorted.

"Or the ward in a straitjacket," he muttered.

"Stop driving Daddy crazy, Sella," her mother ordered.

Bae pulled her on his lap and began tickling her. "You gonna stop it?"

"Yeah...ohhh I'm gonna pee..."

"And I'm going to have a breakdown...!"

Bae stopped tickling her. "Behave, okay?"

Marie reached across the seat and took her husband's hand. "This is fatherhood, darling…"

Finally he could see the hospital parking lot.

"Are we there yet?"

"Yes!" her parents exclaimed.

Gisella was racing to the hospital entrance as soon as her father turned the car off. "Gisella Hopper, dammit, will you slow down!"

"She's acting like it's her sister in there." Marie mumbled and grabbed her daughter. "Now settle down!"

"Sorry, Daddy.." .

"S'...fine..."Archie panted, out of breath from chasing her. "Girl...has lightning in her feet!"

Bae grinned and picked up Gisella, holding her over his shoulder, and calling, "Hey, free to a good home! It's Adopt-A-Kid Day!"

Gisella giggled and cried, "Put me down, Bae!"

"What for? This is what my papa used to do to me when I ran away from him."

"But I'm already 'dopted...Daddy 'dopted me!"

"I know, now quit it, 'fore you get unadopted, imp!" he said, laughing.

"Daddy'd never do that."

They walked into the hospital lobby and Bae set her down. "Huh. Now what floor's maternity on?"

As they were walking past Morgana glared daggers at Archie and Marie.

"Daddy, what's she giving you mean looks for?"

"Long story..." her father said evasively.

Bae walked over to the information desk and asked the nurse behind it, "Hi. Can you tell me what floor Belle Gold is on? She's my mama and she just had a baby."

"Maternity's on the third floor, hang on and I'll see what room she's in," the nurse looked it up on her computer. "Room 315. Congratulations on your new baby-brother or sister?"

"Sister."

"Congratulations on your new sister," the nurse smiled at them.

"And my new cousin!" Gisella said, hopping up and down.

"Calm down, jack-in-the-box!" Bae said. "We gotta wait for your mom and dad."

"We're coming! Just had to deal with a jealous octopus," Marie said with a grin.

"Is this your first baby in the family?" laughed the nurse.

"Uh . .. yeah," Bae said.

"Hopefully not the last..." Marie said, glancing at her husband.

"Then here's a button for you, sweetie," She handed Gisella a big pink button that said Congratulations On Your New Arrival with a little baby wrapped in a pink blanket on it.

"Ohhh lookit, Mommy...now you and Daddy gotta have a baby so I can get another one!"

The newlyweds blushed.

Gisella pinned it proudly to her shirt.

"Belle, Rumple, we're here..." Marie called to the new parents.

"Adriana...sweetie...your big brother is coming to see you..." Belle crooned to her daughter. "And your cousin...and your aunt and uncle…"

The family walked into the room and saw Belle holding her new daughter with Rumple sitting beside them, beaming, and letting the baby hold his finger.

Marie grabbed her husband's phone and snapped a picture.

Bae came up and stared down at his little sister. "Whoa! She's tiny, Mama!"

"She will be for now, honey but she'll get bigger...do you want to hold her, Bae?"

Belle held little Adriana out to her son. "Sweetie, it's time to meet your big brother..."

"Umm . . .I don't know how . . ."

"Your Papa can show you."

"Like this, Bae," Rumple said. He demonstrated with a pillow. "You put her head here, in the crook of your arm, and this hand here, under her bottom, and this one here, like so . . ."

Bae tried with the pillow. "Like this?"

"Very good," Rumple took Adriana and placed her in Bae's arms. "Here you go, baby imp. Say hi to your big brother."

Bae smiled delightedly. "Hey, babydoll!"

Belle watched her son with her daughter, a small smile on her lips.

One of them was the child from her body, the other of her heart yet she loved them both the same.

Bae giggled when Adriana reached out and touched his nose. "Hey, you look just like Papa, 'cept your eyes are blue. You're like Rumplette."

His mother giggled.

"Bae, I think it's too early to say who she looks like," Rumple began.

"Nuh-uh. Look, she's got your nose and your chin and that smile's you too, Papa. Pure mischievous imp!"

"Mommy...when can I see the baby?" demanded Gisella.

"Sella, hush! Let her spend some time with her brother first," scolded Archie.

Bae held Adriana for a few more minutes, getting used to the feel of the baby in his arms. It was a feeling he would soon grow used to. Then he said, "C'mere, Sella and sit on the bed next to Mama, and you can hold Adriana."

Gisella did, and Bae helped her hold the baby in her arms. "There you go. Thing One and Thing Two!"

"Happy homewreckers!" Rumple laughed.

"Awww she's really cute...Mommy I reallllly want a brother or sister!"

Adriana cooed at her.

"See...even she says you gotta do it!"

"Well...umm...Sella...we...just got married and..." Archie stammered.

Marie was hoping she already was expecting.

"They will, poppet," said her uncle. "When it's time."

"Not that I don't want to..."

And seeing his daughter holding his newborn niece in her arms was making him reconsider waiting.

Marie snapped a picture of Gisella and baby Adriana on her phone. "Okay, now let's get one of you, Belle, Adriana, Bae, and Rumple."

"Kay, Mommy!"

They all gathered around the bed, smiling, with their unexpected surprise, the miracle baby, in the middle, surrounded by her loving family. "Archie, get in here!" Rumple called. "You too, Marie! Can't have a family portrait missing half the family. I'll magic the camera."

"We gotta take another with Major and Pongo when we get home," Bae reminded him.

"Okay . . .ready . . .Kodak moment!"

"We're having one of our own..."Archie whispered into his bride's ear.

The camera flashed, and the wonderful moment was preserved forever.

"Now there's one for the family album!" Belle said, and Rumple laughed.

**A/N: Don't go away . . . there's still more to come . . .as the Golds try and figure out a way to go back to the Dark Castle . . .And the Gold daughter's name was inspired by my real newborn great niece-Isabella Jeanette Mims.**


	20. Along Came You

20

~ Along Came You ~

_You were sent to me_

_By angels up above, I'm certain_

_I thought I'd show you what love can be_

_But what did I know_

_Until along came you_

_To teach me about love…_

Gloria Estefan – Along Came You

All across Storybrooke a lovely text message was sent out by the Gold family thanking everyone for their well wishes and along with it were several shots of the new arrival with her family that all the recipients downloaded and saved and some even posted on their Facebooks. She was the first baby born since all the curses were broken and a symbol of hope to all that anything was possible.

"We're going home today, darling," Belle said softly, kissing her daughter's small cheek. "Then you'll get to meet Major who will make sure no one hurts you….and his teeth are as deadly as your papa's cane," she added with a grin.

"Now sweetheart, I only use my cane on those who deserve it," Rumple laughed.

"Or hang them from the ceilings," Bae quipped. "Mama, do you want me to hold her while you get dressed?"

"Please."

"C'mere, Rumplette…." Bae murmured and took his sister from his mother's arms. Her eyes opened and she giggled a bit, clutching his finger in her small hand and giving it a small tug.

"Bae, you're going to confuse her calling her that," his father scolded.

"Aww c'mon Papa! It's a nickname!" Bae protested. "And besides, she looks just like you so she's a Rumplette."

Rumple shook his head. "Good gods why did I have to have a son who acts exactly like me?"

"Because you love me," Bae teased.

"Oh, one of these days, Baelfire, I am going to turn you over my knee!"

"Papa's not gonna turn me over his knee now is he, Rumplette?" Bae held the baby up to Rumple and she opened her eyes again and gods if she wasn't giving HIM the Look.

"Adriana….dearie…don't be looking at Papa like that…." Rumple stammered.

Bae was laughing. "Bout time you got a dose of your own medicine, Papa."

Belle smiled. "Oh, I think she's going to drive you even more crazy than our son . . .especially if she's inherited your magic, Rum! And she's unusually alert for a newborn, I think."

"All true love babies have special gifts, sweetheart...and ours is no different...but I may have to bind some of her magic until she's a wee bit older."

Adriana let out an angry squall, as if disagreeing with him.

"Now don't you be difficult, lass...I'll no have you doin' something crazy like freezing the town or hanging me upside down..."

The baby cooed at him and reached out a little hand to grab his nose. Rumple laughed, for that was the same thing Bae had done at that age.

Bae grabbed his phone and snapped a picture.

"Aahh she stole my nose...oh where is my nose...?" he giggled.

Adriana cooed again and patted the edge of his nose as if to say 'Here Papa, you can have it back.'

"Thank ye, sweetheart," he murmured and kissed her forehead.

Belle watched them, brushing tears from her eyes. All those months ago she'd been sitting on her gynecologist's table being told she could never have a child and now….now she stood back and watched as her husband, her true love, held the miracle they thought they could never have in his arms. And all it had taken was one special night and all the love they felt for each other to make it happen.

She knew that as a first time mother to an infant that it wouldn't be easy. She would make mistakes but she had Rumple by her side to support her, having raised Bae from infancy alone for the most part. Prior to Adriana's birth he'd been teaching her some of the important things she needed to know…feeding, diapering, burping….the best ways to help a baby fall asleep or to calm them when they cried.

"We're going to have a lot of nights where we won't get much sleep, sweetheart…and I'll have to learn to adjust to that again but they'll be less frequent as the baby gets older."

Being a parent required a great deal of patience, something they both had a lot of and what Milah had little of. He couldn't count on his hands how many times he'd come between her and his son as she was about to raise her hand to the boy and slap his face…or worse. There were a few times however when he'd gotten home too late and cursed his crippled leg for his slowness. And the times when he did have to give his boy a swat, he always regretted it as he would if he needed to do so with his daughter.

Rumple handed their daughter back to Belle and wrapped his arm around her shoulders protectively. Bae picked up his mother's suitcase just as Dove walked in the door.

"All ready to go, Mr. Gold?"

"More than ready, Alex." Rumple murmured.

The couple and Adriana dozed off a bit during the ride home, Bae snapping pictures of them while they were sleeping. He was going to use them as inspiration for a new series of drawings he was going to do to add to the collection of ones he already did of his parents and Andi. When they pulled into the driveway, Bae gently shook his father's shoulder to wake him.

"Papa…we're here," he said softly.

Rumple leaned forward and kissed Belle awake then kissed their daughter. "We're home, dearies."

"Oh!" Belle gasped when she glanced at the front door and saw a large banner with WELCOME HOME ADRIANA painted on it. Archie, Marie and Gisella stood on the steps with Pongo and Major on their leads. Gisella unhooked Major and the dog raced toward his humans, barking excitedly.

"Maj! Calm down boy…you're gonna scare the baby!" Bae cried when the Shepherd jumped up and licked his face. "Yeah…I missed you too boy…you wanna see Adriana?"

"Woof!"

Bae took the baby from his mother's arms and kneeled down so that the dog could see her. Little Adriana opened her eyes and cooed, reaching her small hand out to pet the dog's nose while it sniffed her.

"I can't believe it….most babies would be terrified…wouldn't they, Rumple?" Belle asked her husband.

"They would…but our daughter's not like most babies, sweetheart. And we've always had a soft spot for dogs…" he murmured.

Major gently licked Adriana's hand. When Bae stood up with her, she began to wail. "Awww…come on Riana….don't cry…shhh…you'll get to pet Maj all you want."

Major's cries joined the baby's.

"Don't you start!"

"Bae, watch out!" Belle cried, seeing a flower pot soaring toward him. The teenager ducked as the pot shattered against a tree.

"Whoa! Where'd that come from?" he exclaimed.

Rumple reached for his daughter. "Now, now, none of that, dearie…." he crooned and kissed her. She stopped crying immediately and they heard laughing behind them and turned to see it was coming from the lawn gnomes.

"Holy heck, Papa...she can do THAT?"

"So it would seem, Bae."

"Rumple, I think I'm dreading what's going to happen if she's got the Bordreaux temper…" Belle giggled.

"Oh I think we'll be seeing the broom flying about smacking people on the ass," Marie laughed as she approached.

"Here, Adriana, say hello to Auntie Marie…" Rumple said softly and placed his daughter in her aunt's arms.

"Hello sweetie," Marie whispered. "And look…here comes Uncle Archie…"

Archie wrapped his arm around his wife's shoulders and smiled at the precious bundle she held, hoping that it wouldn't be long before she was holding their child in her arms.

"Mommy, I wanna hold her now!" Gisella said impatiently. "An Pongo wants to say hello, right Pongo?" she asked the Dalmatian.

"Woof!"

"Be careful, Sella," Archie cautioned. The little girl took the baby from her mother and held her tightly while she showed the baby to Pongo. The baby cooed and giggled a bit as she tried to pet Pongo's nose. Bae snapped more pictures with his phone.

"Hey Papa, magic the camera so we can get another picture with Maj and Pongo in it!" Bae called out.

"All right…everyone out in the garden," Rumple said with a laugh. He and Belle sat on the bench with Adriana in Belle's arms while Bae and Gisella sat at their feet with Major and Pongo and Marie and Archie stood behind them. Rumple waved his hand and the camera flashed capturing another precious family moment and preserving it.

Rumple carried Adriana into the house, while Bae brought in Belle's suitcase and Archie had the infant seat. Marie and Belle had flowers and balloons from many of the women of Storybrooke who had sent gifts to the hospital while Belle was there. Even Gisella had a large stuffed kitten made of lamb's wool.

Archie set the infant seat on the table so Rumple could put the baby in it when he wanted to. By his feet, Major and Pongo whined and wagged their tails.

"We're going to need to clean out one of the extra rooms for all these gifts," Belle joked.

"Some can be put in the playroom for now, since she won't be using it yet," Rumple said. In his arms, Adriana burbled and grabbed his thumb, pulling it into her mouth and sucking on it for a moment. Then she made a face and spit it out.

"Nothing there for you, snippet," her papa laughed.

"Reminds me of a certain little girl who has issues with what everyone but the two of us cook," Archie said. "Right, Princess?"

"Uh-huh...an she said your thumb's roadkill, Uncle Rumple."

"I'm sure she did, sweetie. You want to get me her nippy? It's in her bag there." He pointed to the little pink and white striped diaper bag that Bae had brought to the hospital when he'd come to see his sister.

Gisella searched through the bag and handed the item to her uncle. "Here ya go."

"Thanks." He popped it in his daughter's mouth. "There, babydoll. Suck on this."

"Belle, I called Papa and he's on his way over." Marie said to her sister.

Adriana's eyes never left her father's. She reached for his thumb again and closed her hand around it.

"Thanks Marie. I know he's excited to see her."

"Papa, she's holding your hand," Bae said, coming into the kitchen from putting away some of the gifts in different places upstairs. The flower arrangements were set in the hall and the den and a few in the dining room.

"She's daddy's little princess...aren't you, sweetheart?" Belle cooed.

"You used to do the same thing, Bae. That and grab my nose," Rumple said, his eyes twinkling fondly at the remembrance. "Babies like to touch things, because they didn't have much to feel inside their mama's tummy."

Adriana gazed at Belle, her dark blue eyes sparkling with love. She waved her other hand at her mom and kicked her feet excitedly.

The new mother thought she knew everything about love with her husband and son but as she gazed down at her daughter, the child she helped create, she realized she still had so much to learn...and she would...as her child grew.

"Whoa! She sure is squirmy!" Bae chuckled.

"You were worse. Right, dearie? Your brother was like a slippery wriggly eel." Rumple tickled the baby under the chin. "And you're a fuzzy wuzzy caterpillar."

They heard a car door close outside and Pongo and Major raced over to the door barking excitedly.

"I'll get it..." Archie offered.

"It must be Papa," Marie mused.

Adriana whimpered suddenly at all the commotion. Rumple rocked her soothingly. "It's okay, lovely girl. It's just your grandpa coming to say hi."

"Where's my granddaughter?" Moe demanded, grinning from ear to ear and holding a large stuffed bear in his arms.

"There she is, Grandpa! She's a chip off the old teacup!" Bae grinned and pointed to where Adriana was with Rumple.

On his way over from Game of Thorns he stopped every man he saw in the street and handed out cigars with IT'S A GIRL written on them even if he knew they didn't smoke.

"That she is," murmured the proud grandfather, gazing down at the precious bundle in the infant seat. "Can granpappy hold you a while, sweetheart?"

"Sure, you can," Rumple handed Adriana to him. The baby clung to his thumb a moment.

"It's okay, sweetheart...ohhh you look a bit like your mama when she was born..." He chuckled. "We menfolk are gonna have to beat the boys off with a stick when you're older eh, just like I had to with your mama and Aunt Marie."

Adriana spit out her pacifier and made cooing noises at him. Suddenly the stuffed bear on the table smiled and giggled.

Moe was startled. "Rumple...did she do that?"

"She did. Her magic's not fully awake yet, Moe, but if she feels strongly about something it'll react. That's called projective enchantment, if you want to be technical. Basically what it means is her magic will express her feelings in objects around her. Sorry if it's a bit unnerving."

"No, no but she IS part Bordreaux...and a woman so..."

"So...she'll inherit our skills with the broom of course," Belle declared proudly.

"We should have a little one made for her," teased Marie.

Bae was horrified. "Aww, no way! I ain't ducking every time she gets cranky."

"Damned broom!" Archie grumbled, having been a victim of it by both his wife and his daughter.

"You just get love taps with it, don't you, Rumple?" purred Belle.

"Not telling," he smirked. Then he looked at his daughter. "Her magic is still new, so she shouldn't be able to levitate objects all the time . . .only if particularly startled or stressed at this stage. It'll make her tired really fast. Right, snippet? Magical tantrums will knock you for a loop. And no hitting Papa with brooms."

"She can't but I certainly can if you tease me in leather pants..."

"And I will be getting you into a pair before our honeymoon is over, Archibald Hopper." Marie said to her husband.

"What? Oh, no you're not!"

Bae started laughing. "Aww, c'mon, Uncle Archie! It's like a tradition for the men in this family!"

"Oh hell no! I'd look ridiculous in them!"

"Then where's yours, Bae?" inquired Gisella curiously.

"Uh . . .don't have 'em yet," her cousin replied.

"Well Rumple can conjure you both some, can't you Rumple?' Belle asked.

"Not...a chance...in...hell.." Archie muttered.

"Sure I can, dearie. When do you want them?"

Marie smirked. "Well...if we go back to the Enchanted Forest...my husband needs riding lessons so...I think then would be perfect."

"I am not getting on a horse either! I'll get around by my own two feet or not at all."

"Why? You're not scared of riding, are you?" asked Bae. "Papa and I even know how. It's fun . . . well not the first few times. Then it's a pain in the butt, till you get used to it."

"Well when a woman on horseback tries to run you down...that changes things a bit."

"Who did that, Daddy?" Gisella asked.

"Your mother."

"That can only happen in this family," Bae teased. "The woman trying to sweep the man off his feet. Usually it's the other way around!"

"You were a cricket! How was I supposed to know?"

"Oh...and how about chasing me with the broom, kicking me off the loveseat...?"

"I love you, darling..."

"Mommy, that was mean!"

"Hey, I seem to remember a certain little girl chasing a bug around with a broom too," Bae reminded her. "Cause you two have a fear of bugs."

"Yeah well I didn't know that green goat witch turned daddy back into a cricket and I shoulda smashed HER with the broom!"

"I have a fear of spiders," Belle admitted.

"Squashed witch!" Bae hooted. "Now THAT woulda been funny! I'da posted it on YouTube!"

"Yes well your father poked me with his umbrella!"

"You assaulted me and all I wanted you to do was apologize!"

Belle giggled. "And they both denied they were in love back in our castle," she said to Rumple.

"Like another person I know." Bae looked at Rumple pointedly.

"She was infuriating!"

"You annoyed me!"

"And I remember a certain sorcerer telling ME no one could love him..."

"Well, until you, dearie, no one ever had . . .except Bae. Milah and Cora only wanted me for what they could get out of me and once they'd done that, it was goodbye Rumple and don't let the door hit you in the ass as you're limping on the way out."

"I didn't even know what the hell I was feeling...had to ask you, Rumple," Archie said.

"Man, that must have been some talk! Like the blind leading the blind!" Bae giggled.

"Watch it, Bae," Rumple shook a finger at him. "Or else you're on diaper duty for the rest of the day."

"He should learn how to change one anyway." Belle pointed out.

"Umm . . no . . .that's not in my job description . . .I'm her big brother . . .I get to do all the fun things with her . . .YOU guys get all the rest of it." Bae said quickly.

"Yes but if you have to babysit one night while your father and I go out, you need to learn."

"But . . .but . . ." he sputtered, alarmed.

"Oh quit squawking, lad!" Rumple smirked. "You used to poke through trash bins when you were cursed. This is nothing compared to that. I'll show you."

"No buts. It is part of a big brother job."

Bae groaned. When Belle used that tone, he knew he was done for.

"Unless of course you would like to write an essay on responsibility for fellow family members."

"No, ma'am!" Bae shook his head.

"Better listen son...or she will get the broom," Moe advised.

"Can I watch?" Gisella asked. "Cause when Mommy and Daddy give me a little brother or sister...I wanna know how."

"Yes, dearie. And then you can practice on your dolls," her uncle said.

"I think maybe I'd better too..." Archie said.

"It'll be good practice for him..." Belle whispered to her sister.

"We've already agreed we're going to try during our honeymoon, Belle."

The two Bordreaux women had been taught how to change diapers by their nurse before her death.

Rumple, of course knew how from experience raising Bae.

"Uncle Rumple, we have those disposable diapers but if we're gonna go back to the 'Chanted Forest' we gotta learn how to change the old ones, right?"

"Yes, and those are a wee bit more difficult, Sella," said the sorcerer.

"Please, let's just concentrate on these kind first," Bae said, coughing.

"What are ya, chicken?"

"Those I can show you on a doll," Rumple said, not wanting them to make a mistake and stick poor Adriana with a pin.

Bae glared at her. "No. It's just too many things at once will confuse me. Besides, we don't even know if we can get back to the Forest. We need something to make a portal."

"Apologize, Sella," Archie said sternly.

"M'sorry Bae...you don't hate me...do you?"

Bae was startled. "Of course not, you silly minx!" Then he playfully tugged on her ponytail and said, "I'd never hate my family, no matter what."

"Good cause Eti already hates me an the bad daddy wanted me, Mommy an Daddy dead..."

"Well, you already know what I think of THEM, don't you?" Bae said. "And they can just kiss my-"

Archie glanced over at his wife. Gisella was still trying to deal with everything she heard the night Gaston assaulted Marie from the bathroom where she'd locked herself in for protection.

"Baelfire!" Rumple warned.

"I didn't say it, Papa," his son answered.

"You mean kiss your ass!"

"Gisella Hopper!"

Bae put a hand over his face and shook his head. Kid, you gotta learn everything the hard way, don'tcha? he thought.

"Dove please, Rumple?" Archie asked his brother-in-law.

Rumple conjured some and handed it to him, giving his niece a disappointed look.

"But Daddy..." she wailed, giving him the puppy eyed look.

"No buts and that's not going to work."Archie placed the soap in her mouth.

"Never did with me either," Bae muttered. "And once I hid from you in the closet, Papa."

"Gets it from my side of the family...better keep lots of that handy Rumple..." Moe cautioned.

"I've bought stock in it," the pawnbroker laughed.

"Oh come on, Papa we weren't that bad, "Belle protested.

"Oh weren't you now? Then why do I recall having to give it to both you and your sister on almost a daily basis when you were teenagers."

"Us...No...not at all...' Belle said blushing.

Bae smirked. "Gee, Papa. Now we know where Adriana's gonna get it from. Since you hardly ever swear."

"You got your mouth from Milah, dearie. That woman could peel paint off a wall with the way she swore."

Rumple sighed. "But in the beginning, she never did it where others could hear. After I returned from the war, however, she didn't care who heard her screaming at me, the virago."

"So could these two," Moe said indicating his daughters. "They were thrown out of a few balls for extreme verbal assults."

"No wonder why Milah always liked it down at the bar," Bae said shortly. "Cause everybody she hung out with there had trash mouths just like her."

"Papa, the Villette twins were vicious harpies who deserved the tongue lashings they got," defended Belle.

His father grimaced. "Too true, and one of the first times I ever washed your mouth out was because you called Michael Beckett a skinny peckerheaded asshole who couldn't even cast a shadow, which was one of her favorite sayings for me."

Marie giggled. "Oh was that all...what did we call Axelle Villette, Belle?"

"A pox ridden bitchtress afterbirth of the devil."

Bae nearly spit out his ice tea laughing.

"You could have given Milah a run for her money, dearie. Unless she was drunk. Because drunk she swore practically every other word at me."

"Axelle Villette was worse than Milah believe me. If I see that bitch when we get back home her head is going in a horse trough."

"What'd she do, Mama?"

"She has the nerve to say I was a lightskirt with the boys...and claimed Marie was too."

"That was her...chasing anything in breeches, including Gaston and she was welcome to him!" Marie added.

Just then Adriana started sucking her fist and wailing. "Uh, looks like someone's hungry." Moe crooned. "Here, lovebug. Go to your mama, she'll feed you."

Belle picked up her daughter and carried her into the living room.

She had opted to breast feed her baby because that way the baby would get certain immunities from her, plus breast milk didn't give babies colic and gas like formula did. When Rumple fed her he used some already bottled milk from her.

She remembered well when Gisella was newly born how nursing her child herself instead of using a wet nurse or a bottle allowed mother and child to bond and wanted the same with her child. Now as she sat on the living room sofa with her own daughter at her breast, she could feel that bond growing between them.

Adriana made soft contended noises as she suckled, causing Belle to start laughing softly, because Rumple made similar sounds when he was curled up next to her at night, though for a rather different reason.

"My little angel...my miracle..."

She wondered if her baby's eyes would change to her papa's winsome chocolate brown or stay the cobalt blue they were now. She hoped they would become like Rumple's for she loved gazing into his beautiful mocha colored eyes.

Even if they didn't this precious child was the ultimate symbol of their love and nothing and no one would ever take her from them. They would give her the life they wanted while cursed.

She smiled as she recalled the day she first heard her daughter's heartbeat while still in her womb. To her it was the most beautiful music in the world.

The scrapbook she made was full of images that had been taken before her birth and every day she would add a new page with notes on every smile...every laugh...the day she would speak her first word...when she learned to walk.

And Rumple would at last have the chance to raise a child with a woman who WANTED to be there for him...and their child, who put them first...before her own needs.

When she glanced down at her daughter again, Adriana drifted off to sleep. Belle felt herself nodding off and moments later she was sleeping peacefully cradling her child in her arms.

Rumple busied himself making lunch for everyone while Belle nursed Adriana. He felt like tacos, so that was what he made, some with ground beef and others with chicken.

"Need any help?" Archie asked.

"Darling, I know you want to but if he wanted you to, he would've asked," Marie said gently.

"Would you like to make the beef ones while I do the chicken ones?" Rumple offered. "I use slightly different spices on the chicken, not as hot, because Belle likes them not as spicy. Bae, c'mere and chop up the tomatoes and get the cheese and lettuce."

Archie smirked at his wife.

"Oh go on!"

"I'll warn you...I make hotter than hell tacos too."

"I'm also making a three bean corn salad," Rumple said as he drained the black beans, kidney beans, and pinto beans, mixing them with some chopped onion, a can of cooked corn, and some red roasted peppers, plus olive oil salt, garlic, and a few other spices, including a dash of lime juice and two shakes of cayenne pepper.

"Papa, are you making double crunch tacos?" asked Bae, handing his father the lettuce he'd shredded and also the shredded cheddar cheese.

"I can, dearie. Bring me the shells and the Monterey cheddar."

Archie grabbed several packs of roast beef Ramen noodle flavoring from the container he'd given Rumple to mix with his ground beef as soon as it was cooked and chopped up green peppers and onions.

"Sella, can you fetch me the chili powder, cayenne pepper, paprika, garlic and onion powder?" he asked her.

"Kay, Daddy!"

She grabbed the spices off the rack and lined them up on the counter, making spaces for two more she knew were missing. He sometimes did this as a test.

"What am I missing, Princess?" he quizzed.

"Sea salt and cumin."

Bae went and brought him two kinds of taco shells, soft and hard, and a block of Monterey jack-cheddar cheese. Rumple placed a hard shell inside of a soft one and spread melted Monterey cheddar on the inside of the soft taco shell and then wrapped the outside of the hard shell with the soft one, pressing them together. Then he spread more cheese on the outside of the soft shell and put it inside a hard one and pressed that together. "There! A double crunch taco." He made several of them because Bae loved them, and then added a different blend of spices to the chicken tacos, as well as chopped tomatoes and onion, since Belle didn't like spicy food, he added black pepper to the chicken and a dash of lime juice.

Gisella grabbed the cumin and sea salt and set them on the counter in the empty spaces while her father mixed them in a bowl.

"How we doin ours, Daddy?"

"Like wraps...I'll need the guacamole, sour cream, salsa and some of the Monterey cheese."

"Bae, you ever had a taco wrap?" Gisella asked her cousin

"Uh, no but I've had burritoes and fajitas, and these double crunch ones are awesome."

"You gotta try Daddy's wraps...they're really good...I had one at Granny's an it was roadkill."

"Okay Sella, I'll need those tortilla shells now, please."

Using a spatula, Archie carefully spread some of the guacamole onto one of the shells, a spoonful of salsa and drizzled sour cream before he added the seasoned ground beef, diced tomatoes and lettuce. Then he carefully folded the shell and handed it to Bae.

"Why didn't you cut it in half, Daddy?"

"I can if they want smaller ones."

Gisella tried one of the double crunch tacos. "This is really good, Uncle Rumple!"

"Thank you, dearie," Rumple said, and made his own with cheese, lettuce, ground chicken, and salsa with a dollop of sour cream.

"Shall I get Mama?" Bae asked after he'd eaten one taco wrap, praising Archie's cooking skills.

"I'm here..." Belle said from the doorway and set Adriana in her infant seat. She opened her eyes and began to wail. Several spices flew off the rack and struck the wall.

Rumple gestured and the spices were put back and then he walked over to peer at his daughter. "Hey, dearie, now don't you be throwing things. Are you upset because you've been woken up or do you need to be changed?" He brushed a hand gently over his daughter, gently corralling her nascent magic.

She wailed louder.

"Rumple...maybe she does need to be changed but she wasn't wet while I was nursing her..."

"Let me see," he said, and gently lifted his daughter up and said, "Yes, you do. Okay, babydoll, let's get you fixed up." He jerked his head at the children. "Bae, Sella come with me."

Bae got up and followed Rumple into the den, bringing the small diaper bag with him.

Rumple took the small plastic changing pad out of the bag and set it on the sofa. Then he put another small cloth on the top to cushion her head before setting his daughter down on it. Adriana was crying, short angry cries, and Rumple crooned to her, "Shhh . . .I know you feel uncomfortable, sweetie."

Bae stared uneasily at his screaming sister. "Umm . . .Papa, maybe you'd better . . ."

"No, now I'm going to talk you through it," Rumple said. "First you get the diaper and wipes ready, and then take off her little onesie, it unsnaps right where you need it to."

Bae did as he was told, saying, "Dang, she's got some lungs!" He made a funny face at her. "Sorry, I'm goin' as fast as I can, Rumplette."

He looked at his father. "Papa, she won't pee on me will she?"

"She prolly pooped, Bae so you better hold your breath," warned Gisella.

"Bae, usually it's boys you have to worry about that happening," Rumple answered.

"Aww gross!" the boy cried as he removed the diaper. "Papa, what's that black thingy on her? It looks like a dead worm!"

"Relax. That's what's left of the umbilical cord, son. It'll fall off after awhile. Just don't pull it or anything," Rumple said.

"Ewww!" Gisella wrinkled her nose. "If ya pull it does it make her bleed?"

"Yes, so don't," Rumple replied.

"Yuck!"

Bae grimaced. "Great! You're wet and poopy." He made a face. "Man, this is almost as bad as picking up Major's poop in the yard."

"And Pongo's...Daddy's got mad one day when I left it there...he stepped in it and tracked it through the house an' then Mommy was mad."

"Ugh! Gross!" Bae went and grabbed a handful of wipes and went to clean her when Rumple stopped him.

"No, just use a few, and make sure you wipe her from front to back. Clean her good, Bae. Otherwise she'll get a rash. You can always use more if you need to." He showed Bae how to fold the dirty diaper up as he wiped and then put the new one under her once he was finished.

"Now what?"

"Now you need to put some of this diaper rash cream on her," Rumple handed him a tube of it. "It'll prevent her from developing a rash, even though these diapers wisk away moisture. That was a big problem with the old cloth diapers. Your idiot mother used to wait to change you and you'd end up getting rashes."

Now that she was clean, Adriana quit howling and reached out and grabbed Bae's hair as he gingerly spread ointment on her.

"Hey! Oww!"

"Ah ah, snippet!" Rumple gently removed Adriana's hands from Bae's hair. "No pulling hair, Adriana. That hurts!" He made a sad face, sniffling like he was crying.

She reached up and pressed her little finger against Bae's nose.

"Why's she doing that, Uncle Rumple?"

Then she tried to touch his cheek.

"I think...she's looking to see if he's crying..." Archie murmured from the doorway.

"It's okay, Riana," Bae said. "You didn't hurt me that bad." He took her hand and kissed it. "All better!"

She smiled and cooed at him.

"That's my good girl!" Rumple said. Then he showed Bae how to fasten the diaper with the tabs and fix her clothes. "There, see? Nothing to it."

"And I can try that on Rose at home?" Gisella asked him.

"You can, and the more you practice, the better you'll get."

"Well, I'm not playing with dolls, Papa!" Bae objected. "And next time, I'm using gloves!"

"We had to do it the old fashioned way...without your fancy gloves, eh Rumple?" Maurice asked his son-in-law. Though he was a noble, he took a more active role in his child's upbringing than was the norm.

"No gloves and no wipes either. Just soapy water and a soft cloth. Which you then had to wash in boiling water with lye soap and bleach in order to clean, because you couldn't throw them away."

Rumple started laughing at the horrified look on Bae's face. "And I made my own salve, from lanolin, aloe, and honey, because that was cheaper than getting some from an apothecary, and mine worked better than the goose grease crap he made."

"Thankfully my parents weren't around then...miracle cures was one of their cons," Archie said.

"May I oughta start watching Little House on the Prairie or something," Bae muttered.

Rumple rolled his eyes. "My papa was like that. He could talk you into believing pigs could fly if you danced three times round a toadstool ring on the night of the full moon. It's why I hate people who try and cheat me, and why I stick to every deal I've ever made."

"Daddy, didn't you say they did shows with puppets?"

"When I was a child yes, but that was to distract the adults while I picked their pockets and I'm not proud of it, Sella."

Rumple sighed. "My papa used to have me pretend to fall down and get hurt while he was playing cards if he was losing, so he could cheat while everyone was staring at me bawling. I hated it, but if he had a bad hand at cards, he'd whip my backside for being a leech and costing him money."

"I had to do that...and pretend I had a fatal illness..."

"And then they gave you their cure and you were better," Rumple nodded. He went and tickled Adriana's tummy and sang, "To market to market to buy a fat pig, home again, home again, jiggety jig!"

Several stuffed animals started laughing.

Rumple blew a raspberry on her tummy and made hand motions while singing, "A tisket, a tasket, a green and yellow basket. I wrote a letter to my love how many kisses did she give? One . . two . . three . . . four. . .five . . ."

And with each number he gave the baby a kiss, kissing her hands, her cheeks, and her tummy.

The stuffed animals fell over giggling and blowing kisses.

"Ooooh...lookit that, Daddy!" Gisella exclaimed.

Belle smiled. "Oh I'm sure we'll see a lot of interesting things when he does the tickle torture."

Bae smiled and said, "Yeah, you're Papa's little peanut, aren't you, Rumplette?" Then he grinned and said, "Those stuffed animals are going to pop their stuffing out when he does that!"

Bae could recall, very dimly, his papa singing to him and playing like this when he was very small, and he suspected that Rumple was the reason he had come through his early years as unscathed as he had.

Belle loved hearing her husband sing, even more so now as she listened to him singing softly to the baby.

Rumple picked up his daughter in his arms and began singing a lullaby, his accent becoming more pronounced as he did so. "Sleep, my wee lassie, in the gloaming, the heather is waving, the fire is warm, sleep my wee lassie, I'll keep you safe from harm. The sheep's in the meadow, the goat's in the byre, and the bannocks are bakin' upon the hearth stone."

Moe shook his head, incredulous. "Why didn't he become a bard? He's got a voice that could sing the birds out of the trees."

Rumple flushed faintly. His skin-stroking velvet voice was the one good thing he'd inherited from his wastrel father.

His baby girl's eyelids fluttered and slowly closed, her lashes a dark smear upon her delicate rosy cheeks as she sank into slumber, safe in the arms of the man who was still the most feared sorcerer in the realms.

"I don't know but it's another reason why I love him..."

The sorcerer continued humming and rocking, his hand gently patting the little bottom, making sure the baby was sleeping soundly before trying to put her in the little swing.

Bae leaned in and whispered in Belle's ear, "God, Mama, but MIlah was ten thousand kinds of a dumbass to leave him for some scurvy raping pirate. But I'm glad she did. Cause she never deserved him . . .and you always have."

Belle smiled lovingly at her son. "Yes, and I always will."

Just then the doorbell rang and the dogs barked a friendly greeting.

"Quiet!" Rumple ordered sternly, and the dogs stilled.

"I'll get it, Papa," Bae said, and opened the door to find Henry, Grace, Emma, Jeff, Jason, and Regina standing there holding a basket full of fruit and candy, a colorful bag, and a pink and white rocking horse with a big pink bow on it.

"Hi. We've come to see the baby," Emma said, smiling around the basket. "And we figured you'd like this basket more than a bunch of flowers or balloons."

"Thanks, Emma!" Bae said. "Come on in!"

They all entered the house and Belle and Rumple thanked everyone for their gifts. Regina and Jason had brought the rocking horse and Henry a leather bound white and gold book of fairy tales. "For when she's older," he grinned.

"And I made this," Grace said shyly. It was a crosstitched bib with a familiar chipped cup and a rattle on it that said, _Sometimes the best miracles are unexpected and the best teacups are chipped._ It had blue piping around the edge.

"Oh, Grace, that's lovely!" Belle cooed. "Look, Rumple!"

"That's brilliant, dearie. Just what we need."

"Where's the new arrival?" asked Jeff.

"In her swing, asleep." Gisella told him.

They all went in to see her, in the swing that was like a small infant seat that gently rocked back and forth.

"Aww!" Jason squealed. "Hi, baby Driana!"

Henry smirked and whispered at Bae, "He's still a baby himself!"

Bae chuckled. "Three years is a lot when you look at her."

"She's darling!" Regina cooed, kneeling down to kiss Adriana's cheek. "Oh, Rumple . . .she looks just like you!"

"See? I toldja . . .she's Rumplette," Bae grinned.

Emma smiled down at the sleeping infant. "Maybe it's a good thing she's asleep. I'd probably make her cry."

"Why, Ma?" asked Henry.

"Because I'm not real good around babies."

"You just need practice, hon," Jeff assured her.

"How sweet!" Grace giggled, grinning at Adriana.

After letting them admire the baby for several more minutes, everyone went into the kitchen to have some tea and eat from the basket of fruit and candy.

While they were all sitting around the table, the talk suddenly turned to a different matter, when Jeff said, "You know, I've gotten a lot of requests from people to try and use my hat to go back to the Enchanted Forest. Some people were separated from their family members and friends, and they miss them and want to see them again."

"Well, that's understandable," Rumple agreed.

"I told Jeff he could use his hat to try and bring them back," Regina said.

"But there's too many people and the hat's powers only work for me alone or me and another person . . .and it would take me too long to take everyone there. Not to mention what if there was . . .danger in the forest now. Like ogres and stuff."

"So we thought maybe there might be a way to create a portal that a lot of people could use," Regina said. "Only we don't have a bean. Or ashes from the wardrobe of the portal tree that brought Emma here."

"Or a White Rabbit," Grace said.

"You know, Rumple and I were talking about that very thing before the festival," Archie said.

"Yes, I said it would be a fine thing if we could somehow arrange a way for anyone who wished to go back and forth from this new land to our old one," Rumple said. "I would like to go back to my castle and wake up my enchanted furniture and introduce my daughter to them and live there for part of a year. After all, my Adriana is a child of both worlds and so are we, in a way. And I see no reason why she shouldn't know both heritages—the one in Storybrooke and the one in the Enchanted Forest."

"But how can we create a portal from here to there?" asked Henry.

"That's the million dollar question," Bae laughed.

"I'm working on it," Jeff said. "Along with Emma and Regina. Would you like to help us too, Rumple?"

"I could do some research," the elder sorcerer mused. "But not just yet."

"Of course not. You need to spend time with that beautiful angel in there," Regina said. "And your wife and son."

"True. But if you have a question or want to borrow a spellbook or look through some items in my shop, just ask."

"Thank you, Rumple," Regina said sincerely. Then she lifted her cup of tea. "Congratulations on your new daughter. May she bring you joy and make you proud."

Then they all drank to the health of the newest member of Storybrooke, the miracle baby born of the true love of a beautiful caretaker for her beastly master in a dark castle long ago.

**A/N: Lyrics from Gloria Estefan's song Along Came You. Hope you all like this moment of family bonding with Adriana. One more chapter and then an epilogue left! Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, favorited, and followed this story and it's prequel, This Doesn't Have to Be Love, and the companion pieces True Love Conquers All and A Sweet Lovely Moment.**


	21. The Best of Both Worlds

21

~ The Best of Both Worlds ~

It was going to be a busy day in the Gold and Hopper households. First, little Adriana would have her christening. Almost the entire town wanted to be there for the blessed event. She would wear the beautiful gown her father originally made for Regina and Archie and Marie would stand as godparents for their niece. They were bringing a guest of their own, Mary Poppins herself. The nanny would work for both families but she would spend the first month or so with the Hoppers as Archie and Marie were taking Gisella and Pongo with them on their trip.

Mary had already been working in the Hopper household in the three weeks prior to the wedding but she was nervous about meeting the Golds, especially Rumple whom she feared would have issues with how she cleaned.

It wasn't that she couldn't clean properly but she read how people with OCD could sometimes be...difficult to handle.

Most people would think it would be Baelfire she was nervous about, him being a teenager and a former gang member but he'd changed since the curse was broken and he was no longer in the gang.

"Mary, I'm sure it will be fine. Rumple's not as difficult as everyone says," Archie said soothingly.

"I hope so...and I would like to ask him to give me a bit of a mage's refresher course. I'm somewhat out of practice."

Since she was a nurture mage, her powers were more directed at caring for her charges than anything else but when the curse struck she was working as a janitor in the town hall. Once the curse broke she wanted to work with a family again and was pleased when Doctor Hopper asked her if she would be interested in working for him and his then fiancée. Now she was hoping the Golds would accept her offer to work for them as well.

The family would depart for Greece after the christening ceremony and Marie was under orders from her sister to update them on how the trip was going either through their Facebook or their phones. Rumple was going to cast several spells before they left, one for protection and another called the magician's eyes and ears...giving them all the ability to speak and read the language of any country they were in.

Now that the baby was born, Rumple's powers were returning to full strength and he no longer had to worry about tiring himself out with even a simple spell. However, he WAS having to cope with post-partum symptoms along with Belle and there were rumors flying around that the Concerned Men of Storybrooke were plotting another intervention.

He would be ready for them this time having at last discovered something that counteracted the dreaded squid ink.

It was Elmira Gulch who provided him with the answer. She brought her new dog Precious over to meet Rumple the day she adopted him and while they were talking, he mentioned being neutralized with the squid ink.

"Where was your olive oil?" she asked.

"Olive oil? Why would I need that?"

The former witch grinned. "Because, my pretty, THAT is the only thing that can counteract the squid ink and it is only found in this land. I found that out doing one of my experiments."

Though she didn't use her powers any longer Elmira still experimented with potions and simple spells to see how they worked in this land.

Rumple smirked. "And I have PLENTY of it."

"Just takes a drop dear. Put it on your skin, anywhere will do and if someone attacks you with the ink, they'll need to run because it won't work."

"If I use extra virgin olive oil...what will that do...anything?"

Elmira cackled. "The same but...knowing you...it has to be the finest quality."

"Of course."

Now Rumple made certain he had a drop of olive oil on his neck every day because it was just a matter of time before the motley crew of stupid made their move.

He was hoping it wasn't today, the day of his daughter's christening because unlike the Godfather, the Rumfather did NOT do favors on special days. You interrupted a special day with his family and you would be hanging by your underwear from a flagpole or become a ceiling fan.

When he walked into his daughter's nursery Belle already had Adriana dressed in her christening gown with a white silk bow around her head.

"There's Papa, sweetheart," Belle said softly. The baby smiled and held out her arms to him.

"There's my precious girl," Rumple crooned, picking her up and cradling her against him. "Are you ready for your big day?"

Adriana cooed and grabbed his nose.

"Oh no...she has my nose again...Belle, have you seen my nose?"

"No, darling I haven't," his wife chuckled.

He walked around the room still holding his daughter in one arm. "Did she put it in here?" He opened a music box on the little girl's dresser and a ballerina danced as Twinkle Twinkle Little Star played.

"No, no...not here...maybe here?" He opened the toy box. The bears on the shelf above it were laughing and clapping.

The baby patted his nose. "Ahhh, there it is..."

Unbeknownst to him, Belle snapped another picture to add to her scrapbook.

"I think...someone's tummy needs a tickling..." she murmured.

"Uh oh...here comes Mommy..."

Belle took her daughter from her husband's arms and set her down in the crib, blowing raspberries on her tummy. Several bears fell off the shelf as they laughed hysterically.

"It's okay my little snippet, Papa will take care of this..."

He crept up behind his wife and pulled her down to the floor. "Rumple don't you...oh my God you are going to make me pee myself...stop that!" Belle was laughing as she found herself the victim of the raspberry raid as they called it.

Bae, who was going down the hall to the bathroom, heard his mother laughing and went into the nursery to see what was going on. Adriana was in her crib cooing and clapping while her father had Belle on the floor blowing raspberries on her belly.

"Bae...make him stop before he makes me pee!" she pleaded.

Bae picked up his sister. "Riana...we have the strangest parents but we love them, right?"

She cooed.

The couple got back on their feet and straightened their clothes. They heard a car door close outside and Major barking.

"That has to be Papa," Belle said.

"Major, sit," Rumple commanded the dog once they got downstairs and opened the door. "Hi, Moe."

"Hello Rum...now where are those grandkids of mine?"

"Right here," Bae said and hugged him then handed him Adriana.

Moe sat down on the sofa and held his granddaughter in his arms, thankful every day that Belle at last had the child she'd always wanted.

A few minutes later the Hoppers arrived. Archie introduced Mary to the Golds.

"I...would like to offer my services to your family as well...if that's all right with you," the nanny said nervously.

"That would be wonderful, Mary, especially when my maternity leave is over," Belle said softly.

"You can work out a schedule with Rumple and Belle and we'll stick with the one you already have." Archie said. "She doesn't work weekends though."

"Well everyone deserves a day off, dearie and weekends are family time for all of us." Rumple smiled at the nurture mage. "And despite what you've heard from gossips Mary, I'm not that difficult to get along with."

"That's good sir. I was also going to ask if you would consider helping me brush up on my magic."

"Not at all. And speaking of that..."

Rumple waved his hand in front of Archie and Marie and the cricket and rose diamonds in their wedding rings began to glow as did the eyes of the golden cricket on Gisella's bracelet and the bone charm on Pongo's collar. "There are three protections in this spell...the first is that if anyone tries to attack you...they'll find themselves on their asses faster than they can blink. The second is if you get lost or separated, your rings, Sella's bracelet, and Pongo's collar will guide you back to each other by glowing brighter the closer you get to each other. The third summons me if any of these happen so I can help you if need be."

"Thank you, Rumple," Archie said softly.

"You're going to be in another country, in a land we still don't know everything about...and you're family so I'm not taking chances."

He waved his hand again. "This spell is called the magician's eye and ear...no matter where you go you'll be able to read and speak the language like a native."

"Even me?" asked Gisella.

"Even you, dearie," Rumple winked at his niece.

"Neat!"

"Well, we'd better head over to the chapel before the minister cancels on us," Rumple quipped.

Moe drove the Golds to the chapel while the Hoppers took their own vehicle which was already packed since their flight was due to leave an hour after the christening was over.

When they pulled into the chapel parking lot the proud parents were stunned by the large crowd waiting for them.

"Holy crap, Papa...this a christening or a Hollywood premiere?" Bae asked.

Rumple stared at all the people. He had never expected this. Oh he'd sent invitations out to several people and expected close friends and so forth, but not almost the whole town!

"It's as if she's their baby too..." Belle whispered.

"Or a symbol of something greater," Rumple added, getting out of the car.

"There she is...!" exclaimed Snow coming forward with David.

Snow snapped a picture of the baby in her little gown and the child wasn't in the least bit frightened by the attention...she seemed to like it.

"Yep...we got Miss Hollywood here," Bae joked.

Andi came up and kissed him on the cheek. "And her big brother . . .the hero of Storybrooke Prep." She was referring to the incident at the dance when she and Bae had saved two little children from a fire by climbing out the second story window with them on their backs. They had been written up in the Mirror as heroes and even gone on the local TV after a week or so to do an interview about that situation. And their selfless actions had forever changed the way the citizens of Storybrooke viewed the former Scorpions.

"Awww..." Bae was blushing.

Adriana reached out for her brother's hand as if to declare. "Yep, that's my big brother...a hero!"

Andi grinned at Adriana and said, "Hey sweetling! You're like the town celebrity today. Which is only fitting, since you're the first true love baby born in Storybrooke since the curse broke."

Adriana burbled and waved her hand at Andi.

"She looks beautiful, Rumple," Regina said softly from where she stood with Roland, Robin, and Jason. The former queen's relationship with the former outlaw was going well...they'd already been out on a dozen dates but the boys wanted them to hurry up and get married so they could be brothers.

Gisella winked at her scheming companion, pleased by the progress of Mission: Replace Bad Daddy and Mommy.

"Here comes Mr. and Mrs. Gold and Rumplette!" cheered all the former Scorpions as the couple and the baby passed them, clapping loudly.

"Now I feel like we're at a royal ball!" Belle giggled.

"I feel like we should be waving or something as we go up a red carpet, dearie."

It seemed that everyone wanted a picture of the baby and her parents. Everywhere they looked a cell phone or a digital camera snapped a picture.

Luckily Adriana seemed perfectly content to be photographed and smiled at and didn't cry or become nervous.

As they passed two members of the Furious Women of Storybrooke, the ladies were blushing.

"Oh my is it me or does Mr. Gold look extra handsome today?"

"He looks like he just stepped off the cover of GQ . . .only better than all those models."

"That suit fits him to a T! Just lovely!" sighed another.

"Now why can't I find a man like that...?"

"Because all the good ones are taken, dead, or gay."

"Sure you don't want to wave, darling?" Belle teased.

"Oh my God...he looked at me...Andrea, did you see that...?"

Behind them Marie snickered.

"Oh, stop!" Archie admonished gently.

"I can't help it...they're acting like he's a celebrity..." Marie chuckled.

"On second thought darling, you wave and we may have to call Amed..." Belle teased her spouse.

"I think I'd better keep my eyes straight ahead, so I don't cause a sensation."

"You mean an incident," Bae laughed. "The Gold Whammy! Woman Passes Out After Gold Stares At Her From Sudden Palpatations."

Now Archie was laughing.

"I think I wouldn't mind having both of them...that suit sets off Doctor Hopper's eyes perfectly."

Now Marie wanted a broom.

Belle giggled.

"Mine..." she said through gritted teeth.

"Well...Rumple...maybe they'll leave you alone a bit now...but I think my sister is ready to to play Broom Baseball…"

"No one would dare to make advances towards us, Belle. They know it wouldn't get them anything except a sore backside. Or worse."

"It'll be worse...if they touch...right Marie?"

"Right. Otherwise your fingers will be cut off," she growled. "With a dull paring knife."

They saw Dr. Jo, with her husband Andy and four children, her three boys, Drew, Joe, and Robbie, and her daughter Mary. Andy came and shook Rumple's hand. "Hello. I'm Andy, Jo's husband. The other man here who's gone through pregnancy symptoms four times with my wife."

"Pleased to meet you. Thank you for that pamphlet, by the way and you're a braver man than I am," Rumple said.

"It's the price of the bond, but I'd pay it over and over because my kids are worth it. Sometimes," he teased.

"That's not what you said yesterday, Dad," Drew reminded him.

"That was yesterday and you were annoying the hell out of me. It changes depending on which one of you is making me want to strangle you that day," his father retorted.

Rumple laughed. "You remind me of me and Bae."

"She's gotten much bigger since I last saw her, right, Adriana?" Dr. Jo said, for the baby was now a month old and growing rapidly.

Adriana smiled at her.

"Aww! She's so cute!" exclaimed Mary. "Like a little angel!"

Bae smirked. "She can be a little imp . . .especially when she wants something right NOW." He knew three of the doctor's kids from school, Joe was a year younger, Mary two and Robbie three years younger. Drew was in high school.

After meeting the doctor's family, Rumple and Belle continued up to the baptismal font and the altar where the minister waited. Reverend Morris had been a cleric in their land and also in this one, so because of that this ceremony would be binding in both worlds.

Reverend Morris, a lean man with a shock of blond hair and a prominent Adam's apple below a kind yet homely face, addressed the gathering. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the christening of the first True Love baby born in Storybrooke since the curse broke-Miss Adriana Isabella Gold!"

Applause followed this statement. Morris beckoned both the parents and the baby and the godparents forward. Belle and Rumple with Adriana stood on one side of the font and Archie and Marie on the other.

_Our daughter will have the best of both worlds_, Belle thought. They wanted this christening to have elements from their world and this one.

The little bundle she held in her arms did not understand yet how truly special she was...and what she represented but someday she would. There were so many couples in attendance that day longing for a child of their own, one standing as godparents to this child. They hoped their time away from it all would make that dream a reality.

"Do you Rumplestiltskin and Belle Gold dedicate your child, Adriana Isabella Gold to the God of this realm and those of our realm from this day forward?"

"We do." they replied.

"Do you renounce the dark lords and all their works?"

"We do renounce them."

"Do you, Rumplestilskin and Belle Gold accept the teachings of God of this realm and those of the gods in ours and will guide Adriana in peace, love, justice and mercy for all the days of her life?"

"We do."

"Should there come a time when Rumplestiltskin and Belle cannot guide Adriana, do you Archibald and Marie Hopper agree to stand as godparents in their stead?"

"We do," answered the godparents proudly.

"Belle, bring your child forward so she may receive the blessings."

Belle handed her daughter to the kindly reverend. He smiled down at her and stroked her cheek. "A true miracle you are, Adriana Gold," he murmured and dipped a ladle into the sacred water. Adriana, thinking she was going to have bathtime, started waving her arms and legs enthusiastically. She loved bathtime with Mama and Papa. Mama would make silly faces at her while Papa made sounds of different animals she liked.

He gently poured the water over her head. She clapped her hands and blew bubbles.

"Adriana Isabella Gold, I bless and baptize you in the names of the God of this realm and those of our realm. With this water you are joined in a sacred trust. May you know peace. And you are now dedicated." He kissed her small forehead and handed her to Belle. "And may the God of this realm and ours bless all of you and bring you peace! Rumplestiltskin and Belle invite all of you back to their home for refreshment and to show your fellowship and love towards Adriana."

A banquet fit for a king awaited their guests back at the mansion, all the food prepared by Rumple and Archie. It took them nearly two days to get everything done.

Their wives teased them, claiming their husbands may as well have been married to their kitchens too for spending as much time in them as they did with their families.

"Everything on those tables is a labor of love, dearie," Rumple said softly.

Little Adriana was already showing signs that she'd inherited her father's love of cooking for she insisted on being near him while he cooked.

As soon as the smells from her father's kitchen reached her small nose, she began to wail and if no one took her to Papa right away the little sprite would have a very big temper tantrum

Rumple remembered well an incident over the weekend when both families got together for Sunday dinner. It was now tradition. Belle was with Marie and the children in the family room while the men were in the kitchen. Adriana was playing peek-a-boo with her mother when the scent of garlic drifted into the room. She started crying.

"Adriana, sweetie...what's wrong? Do you need to be changed? Are you hungry?" Belle asked worriedly. She changed the baby and attempted to feed her but she continued to cry.

Then the young mother became terrified. What if her daughter was ill?

She felt the baby's forehead. She didn't have a fever and her color was normal.

"Sometimes babies just want to throw fits, Belle. Gisella did that a lot," Marie said. "And tired herself out."

"But...I hate seeing her cry...and not knowing what's wrong..."

The young mother dashed into the kitchen with her daughter in her arms. Suddenly she quieted down.

"Belle, dearie, what's the matter?" Rumple asked.

"Nothing...now. She was fussing and all of a sudden...she stopped. I guess she just wanted Papa..."

Rumple held out his hands for his daughter. "Did you miss Papa?"

As he gazed down at his daughter's small face he could see her sniffing the air. "Oh...is that what it is now, lass? Ye wanted to smell Papa's cookin?"

The baby cooed.

Belle laughed. "Why am I not surprised? I guess I should make sure she's near the kitchen from now on."

Rumple smiled. "Maybe we need to buy ye a chef's hat and an apron, right, Adriana, a stor?" he crooned, caling her "my treasure" in Gaelic.

"I'll add that to our Christmas list," Archie joked.

"I'm not losing my daughter to this kitchen yet, Rumplestiltskin. Bad enough I rarely see you when you're in it."

"Then perhaps you need to come in here while I'm cooking, dearie. You can be the taste tester," he suggested.

"And need I remind you kitchens and I do not get along?"

"You don't have to cook anything, Belle, just sit here and watch me and taste things. The kitchen isn't going to blow up because you're in it."

"Ummm...not sure about that."

"The kitchen's still standing, Belle. And so is the stove, so you're safe," he teased.

"Well I suppose I could taste test for you..." Belle purred.

"At least HE doesn't have to worry about you throwing his cooking out on the road."

"Neither do you, Archie," Belle pointed out.

"Until I was taught how to bake, I did."

Rumple requested that the guests of the christening bring containers with them to take some of the food home and what was left over would be sent to the homeless shelter.

Now that all of Storybrooke knew the Gold baby was in fact a girl, all of the christening gifts brought to the house were fit for a princess.

Everyone filed into the Victorian and filled plates and went outside into the backyard where there was a tent set up and tables and chairs all over the yard and on the patio. Old rock and roll bands were playing on Rumple's Bose, though Bae had threatened to change the station halfway through to some more current tunes.

Whereupon Rumple said, "Play any of that death metal garbage, dearie, and you'll be grounded for a week."

"And if a song from MY band comes on you can forget about having any of my chili for a year!" Archie threatened.

Bae held up his hands. "Okay! Okay! Will you old geezers chill out? My friends and I will go upstairs and listen to my stuff on my earbuds."

"Uh oh..." Gisella muttered.

Even she knew better than to call her father that.

Rumple's eyes narrowed into his Dark One squint. "Excuse me? WHAT did you just call me, young man?"

"My butt would be reaaaallly sore if i called you that, right, Daddy?" Gisella.

"Yes it would because your mother and I taught you to respect your elders."

"Umm . . sorry, sir . . .Uncle Archie," Bae apologized quickly. "That . .. umm . . .didn't come out right . . ."

Rumple crossed his arms over his chest. "Baelfire, I ought to tan your behind for that . . .but instead I'll do something worse. After this celebration is over . . YOU'RE on clean up duty . . .in the kitchen, in the yard . . ."

"I got my face slapped if I talked like that," Archie muttered.

"AND you get Adriana tonight when she wakes up at 3AM and 6AM," Rumple continued. "Because you know how us "old geezers" need our rest," he snapped. "And you make breakfast for your mama and me tomorrow . . .in bed."

"Holy shi...Papa that's a bit harsh!"

"Would you like me to add some more things?"

"Ummm...no..." Bae glanced down at his shoes.

"I didn't think so. Next time watch your mouth," his father said.

"Okay..."

"Now go and have a good time with your friends . . .I'll call you when everyone's gone home."

Bae made like the former Dark One and vanished, thinking ruefully he'd have taken a couple of whacks over Rumple's chores, and was reminded again why nobody crossed Mr. Gold. It was going to be a great party but the weekend would suck.

Belle was holding court with her daughter, sister and the other ladies.

"Back in our world I'd be willing to bet there'd be at least whole villages of boys asking for her hand," Snow joked.

"IF they survived Rumple's tests first," replied Belle.

"Tests?" Emma frowned.

"Oh yes...tests of will and intelligence...he doesn't care how brawny a boy is..if he has no brains, he's not fit."

Marie giggled. "Archie plans on setting up some kind of obstacle course when Sella's a teenager and keep a gun with blanks in it to scare the crap outta them."

"Jeff says he's gonna have a corn maze . . .like in all the horror movies, and him and Henry are gonna hide in it with those black suits and night vison goggles and machetes or something and make them run through it . . .while being hunted," Emma coughed. "I told him I don't wanna know about it so then I don't have to arrest them for scaring some kid to death."

"M'never gonna git a boyfriend..." Gisella muttered.

"Can I be your boyfriend?" asked Roland.

Marie nearly choked on her soda. Belle dropped the piece of cake she was holding.

Adriana squealed with laughter.

"Huh?!" the little girl asked, dazed.

"Yeah...can we be boyfriend n girlfriend, Sella?"

"I hope her father didn't hear that..." Belle whispered to Marie.

"See...even Adriana thinks it's a good idea," Roland said pointing at the excited baby. "Don'cha?"

Adriana clapped her hands and grinned.

Gisella was blushing. "Ummmm...okay..."

"Yay!" Roland exclaimed. "HEY DADDY I GOTTA GIRLFRIEND NOW!" he shouted.

Bae and Bobby started laughing. "Uh . . .isn't he a little young?" Bobby asked.

"Little kid romances . . .they never last," Bae said loftily, then he started snickering into his napkin.

"No m'not...an' Sella's really pretty!" Roland snapped.

"I'm gonna marry her when I grow up!" he declared.

"Oh gods...Archie and Rumple are going to have a fit..." Belle murmured.

"You got a long way to go before then, small fry," Bobby chuckled. "And you might just change your mind."

"Nuh uh. Don'cha know nothing bout true love?"

The older boy goggled. "Sure I do . . . I've already got mine. Is that what you think this is?"

"Uh huh..."

"I think you need to go out on a couple of dates first, buddy," Bae advised. "Then you'll know for sure."

"Kay...where you wanna go on your date, Sella?"

Her father and uncle overheard THAT and nearly passed out.

"D...D...Did I just hear what I thought I did?' Archie sputtered.

"Well, I heard it too and I'm not going deaf yet!" Rumple coughed.

"W...What...the...hell!?"

Suddenly two of Adriana's bear gifts started dancing.

She cooed and pointed at Roland and Gisella first then the dancing bears, laughing.

Rumple slapped a hand to his forehead. "Kids these days . . .first you have the teenager sassing you and now your five-year-old's planning her first date! And my baby's encouraging it! Calgon, take me away!"

"That's it, Rumple..you have to commit me! I've officially gone insane!" Archie moaned.

"You can't do that to me, Hopper! Otherwise I'M gonna join you!"

Both men started singing They're Coming To Take Me Away, unaware that their wives and a few others were filming it with their cameras.

"They're coming to take me away ho ho hee hee ha haaa

To the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds

And basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes

And they're coming to take me away ha haaa..."

"Oh no you don't!" Belle exclaimed, grabbing a broom that was set aside for Bae to sweep the patio. She chased her husband and swatted his backside with it.

"Owww! Dearie, what was that for?"

"Had to smack some sense into you." she said with a grin. The broom was snatched out of her hands as Marie now chased her husband with it.

"Ahhh...dammit, Marie not again!" complained Archie.

She swung the broom out and smacked his bottom. From her place in Andi's arms Adriana was still laughing and so were all of the toys.

"Oh I'm glad to see we've amused you, minx!" Rumple teased his daughter.

David rubbed his own backside sympathetically. "I HATE THAT BROOM!"

None of the guests were surprised the child was magical but they had to admit the way she demonstrated her abilities was both cute and amusing.

The next thing they all saw was the infamous broom hopping up and down like a rabbit.

Moe laughed. "Now you KNOW she's a Bordreaux!"

"Still hate that broom," grouched David.

"That because your butt's been blistered with it more than anyone else's for being an idiot," retorted Jeff.

"Oh, so you want to talk idiots? Whose bone headed idea was it to have the manhood intervention, huh?" David challenged.

Jeff made a slashing motion with his hand, not wanting their plans for a second one to be foiled before they hand a chance to put them in action, All of the men were still smarting from their last failure. They suspected someone tipped the women off to where they were going and once they found out whom; a little payback was in order.

Emma frowned at her boyfriend. "You know, maybe I should have given you a night in jail AND a beat down with Belle's broom, Jeff. Maybe then you'd have learned to mind your own business."

"Yeah well it had to be done and it would've worked had someone not opened their big mouth!"

"It never would have worked, Jefferson," Rumple put in. "I know my own mind and I wasn't going to change it for a few of you yahoos who feel threatened by showing a little empathy for your wives and girlfriends. That whole show with Marie was staged, dearie! And if you're thinking about doing it again . . .better think twice because you might not like the outcome a second time!"

"Yeah well who tipped her off?"

"Oh my God...Archie, we need to get going or we'll miss our flight!" Marie exclaimed, looking at her watch.

"Damn...I didn't realize it was that late!"

He grinned at his wife when none of the men involved in the intervention were looking. Only Rumple and Belle knew they were the ones who set the men up.

"Have a nice flight, dearies, and call if you need anything when you get there," Rumple said, hugging them goodbye. "Some airlines are notorious for losing luggage."

"We will...and hopefully won't have to summon you," Archie said referring to the spell on their rings.

"M'gonna miss ya, Uncle Rumple!" said Gisella.

He knelt and hugged her. "Me too, little minx! Have a good time and keep a food diary, so you can tell me what dishes you liked and I can cook them for you when you get home."

"Yeah and I don't wanna get any roadkill there either."

"Well, if you do, just send it back!" he laughed.

"She and her father are notorious for that," Marie said with a laugh.

"Yes, well when I ask for a well done steak and I find blood in it, I'm not eating it," Archie grumbled.

"And make sure you don't eat anything questionable," Rumple cautioned. "Because I don't want to get a phone call that you've got food poisoning or something."

"We won't."

Belle hugged her sister. "Have a wonderful time...and let me know how things are going...details..." she added with a wink.

"Not too many sister dear...after all…there are some things a woman likes to keep to herself...right?"

"Oh yes," Belle said dreamily, smiling at her husband.

Adriana waved her little hands and made smooching noises. Bae picked her up out of her seat and said, "Say bye bye, Rumplette, and have a good trip!"

Archie, Marie and Gisella took turns giving the baby a kiss and a hug. "We'll bring you some surprises back...how would you like that?" Archie asked her.

The bear and the rag doll sitting on the table grinned and bounced up and down.

"That means yes, Daddy. See ya later, Riana!"

The baby cooed at her and the rag doll waved goodbye.

"It's too bad you couldn't tweet me some food," Bae said, for he was perpetually hungry nowadays.

Marie laughed and hugged her nephew. "With your papa's cooking you don't need it."

"Maybe they oughta get you a shirt, Fire," Andi suggested. "One of those ones that says, My aunt and Uncle went to Rome and all they brought me back was this lousy T-shirt!" She smirked.

Archie smirked. "I just might do that!"

"I ALWAYS need food, Aunt Marie," Bae disagreed.

"We're gonna go to Rome, right Daddy?" asked Gisella.

"We certainly are, Princess."

"You'd better get moving or you won't go anywhere," Rumple encouraged.

The family said their final goodbyes and raced outside to their car to get to the airport.

Meanwhile Andi looked at her boyfriend, who despite his voracious appetite was still slender yet muscular. Bae was eating a meatball parm sub. "I don't know where the hell you put it all, Bae. If I ate like that, I'd be an elephant."

"That's the Stiltskin metabolism," Belle sighed enviously.

"And lately I'm always starving," Bae replied, also eating some potato salad.

"Maybe I ought to get you checked for tapeworm," Rumple joked, and ruffled his hair.

She glanced down at her own tummy. Many women told her that the extra pounds she now carried wouldn't come off right away and she wasn't overly concerned about it...Rumple still found her attractive.

Still she did want to fit back into her old clothes again.

Rumple had lost all the weight he'd gained in the month after the baby was born, and now fit easily back into his old clothes and shoes.

"I'm going to have to start going to the gym...or something…" Belle said softly.

Rumple patted her arm. "Don't stress over it, sweetheart. If you like we can go for longer walks with Major and Adriana in the stroller. And maybe you just need to eat more protein and vegetables."

"I suppose so...ooh I hate when I get in these moods...and today of all days!"

"Why don't I make you some chamomile tea?" Rumple suggested, sensing one of her post-partum depression moods hovering and wanting to head it off.

"Yes..."

Belle heard so many horror stories of what some mothers did while having post-partum depression and it terrified her.

"Be right back," and he vanished from the table, reappearing inside and beside the stove, where he began boiling the water for the tea. Rumple could have magicked up a cup but he preferred doing things the old fashioned way when it came to cooking, unless he was abnormally stressed for time.

Belle sat down. She couldn't have asked for a better husband. There were times after the baby was born when she was difficult but he was patient with her and she loved him all the more for it. When she was having her doubts about her skills as a mother he was right there encouraging her.

He measured some loose tea into a tea ball and placed it in her special cup that said _Sometimes the best book has the dustiest jacket_ with a bunch of books piled on top of each other. He had bought it for her as a welcome home gift.

When the kettle boiled he poured it into the cup and let it steep. Then he went and measured out two teaspoonfuls of honey and stirred it in. Then he took some light cream and beat it rapidly, whipping it to a froth than added it to the tea and stirred gently. He called it Stiltskin Sleepy Time Tea and they both loved it, as it helped calm their nerves down, especially after a long night with the baby fussing.

When she was at her lowest point she would stop and think about how lucky she was. She'd been told she would never have a child...now she had one and one who considered her his mother though she hadn't given birth to him. She had her Rumple even after so many years of being apart.

It was the stuff that dreams were made of.

Rumple reappeared with the mug of tea in his hand and said, imitating a proper English butler, "Your tea is served, madam." Then he set the tea in front of her, his brown eyes twinkling merrily.

One day while she was in the park with Adriana she overheard Merri Blue asking another woman how she could be happy with an old man when there were so many younger ones out there. She just ignored them but while she was driving home Carly Simon's The Stuff That Dreams are Made Of came on the radio and she realized just how well that song fit.

Let them have their young, gorgeous boy toys...they would just leave for the next sweet young thing. She and Rumple were bonded...and nothing would ever part them again.

_What if the Prince on the horse in your fairytale_

_Is right here in disguise_

_And what if the stars you've been reaching so high for_

_Are shining in his eyes…_

And when she looked at her husband now...that was what she was seeing, what she always saw.

Rumple sat down next to her and ate a piece of the christening cake while playing with Adriana's foot.

"Did I ever tell you that I don't always have to be outside to see the stars..." she whispered to him.

"I seem to remember you saying that to me . . on our second date right here," he murmured and fed her a piece of cake. "How's that? Did I add enough bananas to the filling?" It was a devil's food cake with banana cream filling and whipped cream on top.

"Just perfect...and I don't have to be outside to see stars...because they're right here..." she said caressing his cheek.

His eyes sparkled even more. "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?" he quoted softly. "Thou art more temperate and more sweet."

"Except when I chase you with the broom," she teased.

"YOU said it, dearie. And also when you're woken up for the tenth time in the middle of the night by Miss Demanding Imp over here," he poked his daughter playfully in the tummy, making her giggle.

"Well she IS like her father...especially when it came to me cleaning your castle..."

He shrugged. "I cannae help it, dearie," he purred in his sexy accent. "I grew up with dirt and fleas thanks to my dear old dad . . .and once I was grown I vowed never again would I ever live like a filthy slob . . .if i could help it. So I dinna . . .even if it meant washing and sweeping the floor ten times . . ."

"At least now I know how to clean properly...my father used to scold Marie and me when he gave us cleaning punishments and we cut corners."

Rumple smirked. "I learned how to clean from my aunt Lotte . . .she was neat as a pin and you could eat off of her floor. . . and she taught me that you do a job once and do it well or else you do it over till you learn how."

"I'm dreading what our castle will look like...and what if none of them remember us...you don't look the same and in way…neither do I."

"Oh, never fear. They wont forget us . . .and how I look now is my true appearance . . and they'll know me by my voice and you and Bae don't look all that much different." Rumple soothed. "I'll have to speak to Jeff again . . .once he's done getting his ears chewed off by Emma . . .about going and speaking to an old acquaintance of mine that I just recalled. A fellow by the name of Paul . . . with a big blue ox . . .who's a relative of Anton of the beanstalk. It's said he can build anything with his two hands . . . and perhaps he can build a bridge from one realm to the other . . .like Bifrost in the Norse myths."

"Paul…as in Bunyan? Why didn't you tell me? I know you forgot but before...in the castle..."

"I . . . well, I was kind of busy and umm . . .it never crossed my mind. I met him long before you came into the picture, dearie. Bae was out walking one day and met him on the path to the castle, a jealous rival had cursed his ox, Babe, and the poor beast was in terrible pain, his joints all twisted, and Bae brought him to me to take the curse off . . .which I did . . . and asked him to owe me a favor at an unspecified date. My Sight indicated there would come a time when I would need his skills . . .and now that time has come . . .if he can do so . .. "

"Your Sight is rarely wrong, darling...look at my sister...you Saw she would be happy...and now she is."

Rumple gestured with a hand, then said, "If it's possible, the bridge would serve as an anchor for the portal in both worlds, enabling it to remain open for those who wish to cross . . .so long as they pay a toll first. At least that's my theory."

"It's perfect and doesn't risk anything we don't want getting here."

"And the toll would be paid to Paul on one end and to someone else here . . .but I'm not sure who."

"What about one of the dwarves...I don't think some of them want to go back...Grumpy I doubt would."

"Yes, that would work."

The couple was then approached by some of the guests getting ready to leave. There were some that stayed behind, including the Charmings, the Hoods, Regina, Ruby, and Granny. All of them wanted to go back to the Forest to visit.

Rumple told them of his plan, and gave Jeff a signed contract from when he'd made the deal with Paul to show the giant lumberjack to prove his sincerity and to remind him of the favor still owed. "And if that's not enough, you can always come and get me and I'll speak with him directly."

"I think once I tell him you're asking he'll work with us," Jeff said.

"I hope so, dearie. He originally came from this land, you know, so he has ties to it that'll help when he goes to build the bridge."

"I'm excited about this. What do you say babygirl...do you want to go see Papa's castle? You'll meet the people from Beauty and The Beast..."

Adriana made a burbling noise and wriggled, making her toy jump up and down.

"Do you want to wait for Archie and Marie to get back before we leave, Rumple?"

"Yes . . .and it'll give me time to go through some things in my shop and for Adriana to grow some more . .. perhaps get a few vaccinations before we leave."

"That would be wise since back there those things couldn't always be treated." The Hoppers had already been vaccinated prior to their trip.

"I'm curious to see how Gabby handles seeing Major...and Misty..."

"Yes, hopefully they should get along."

"If not...there will be fur and stuffing flying all over the castle…"

"And dogs in the doghouse . . ." Rumple said.

"And little Tobias and Wesley..."

"At least we don't have to worry about that crazy bitch Cora anymore," Jeff said.

"No, thank the gods . .. though there will always be some magician out there or warlord with evil intentions that we need to fight. Evil never dies . . it just assumes different forms," Rumple replied.

"Then we'll need protection spells too," Emma spoke up.

"That's a given," Gold replied. "I'll teach you how to cast them, since that's part of any apprentice's training in magical arts."

"Will I be able to even with my bracelet on, Rumple?' Regina asked.

"Yes, since a protection spell doesn't violate the bracelet's enchantment to harm none."

"Good because I want to make certain Robin, Roland, Henry, and Jason are safe."

While the adults were having their pow-wow, Bae was cleaning up the mess on the tables and in the yard slowly. His friends offered to help, but Bae told them they could only fold up the chairs and tables, anything else he had to do. "Or else Papa will have my ass," he muttered, casting a glance in his father's direction. Though he appeared engrossed in the conversation, Baelfire knew Rumple was aware of what else was going on around him, as always.

"Dang, Bae...must have eyes in the back of his head like my mom and my idiot brother tried to say he didn't do something...even if she watched..." said Becky.

"Papa has eyes like Argus the hundred eyed giant and he can spot someone trying to break a deal with him in a New York minute," Bae replied. "And I made a deal with him to clean up after this party . . .among other things."

"In lieu of what? Getting your ass grounded?" asked Kat knowingly. "What'd you do?"

Bae sighed, knowing it was better to tell them before they'd found out on their own. "My usual. I was a smartass to him . . . I ran my mouth off and he nailed me for it."

"Not smart mate. Not at all," said Ewan. "My da woulda walloped the arse off ye."

"I know . . .my Uncle Archie said the same thing," Bae sighed. "But Papa promised me a long time ago once I was a teenager, no more spankings . . .said he had other methods of keeping me in line that were worse than a sore butt. And this sucks . . ." he went on to detail the rest of his punishment.

"And your Papa will be going over it with a glove," Becky teased.

"Yeah, you ain't kidding. And if he doesn't like it . . .he makes me do it over again . . ."

"So does my mum," Ewan said.

"Parents!" Bae sighed.

"Baelfire...less talk, more work..." Belle teased her son

"Okay, Mama . . ." He went to grab some more pans of food and bring them inside to put into containers and throw out the trash that had accumulated beside the pails because they were full. His papa was an evil genius, he thought ruefully, though he couldn't deny the effectiveness of Rumple's punishment.

Adriana watched him, scowling. She wanted to play with her big brother...and he'd take forever if he had to do all that himself. She clapped her hands and several bears marched over to him.

Belle nearly dropped her teacup when she saw a stuffed animal army marching over to her son.

"What the...?"

Bae almost fell over. "Hey! Adriana, what the heck?"

One of the bears grabbed a trashbag while another jumped onto a table and grabbed a spoon, putting macaroni salad into as container.

Another scraped food off a pan into a trashbag.

The baby giggled waved her arms and legs excitedly.

"Papa, it wasn't me," Bae groaned. "She did it herself."

The baby smirked at her father.

Belle giggled beside him.

Rumple rolled his eyes. Then he said, softly but firmly, "Now dinna give me that look, Adriana, dearie. No helping your brother, 'tis his job because he's in trouble with me." He waved a hand and all the stuffed animals were returned to the table.

Adriana wailed loudly.

All the animals began crying and wore unhappy faces.

Rumple winced. Then he picked up his screaming infant and hugged her to him, walking a little ways away with her to the bench swing and sitting down on it. He pushed it with his foot and said, "Hey now, little imp, quit having a fit. None o' that now, treasure. When I hand out a punishment, 'tis done, an' ye must mind what I say . . .yer brother knows that .. .and so will you too."

He knew the baby didn't understand what he said, but would understand the tone, and hopefully the rocking motion would soothe her. "I know ye think if ye make me deaf I'm gonna change my mind, but I'm no gonna do it . . .but if ye want to scream about it . . .go ahead . . ."

She loved being in the swing but she was still upset she couldn't help Bae. She stopped crying but gave him a Look.

'She's a stubborn one...just like someone else I know..." Belle said softly.

Rumple shook his head. "None o' that, little lass!"

Not wanting her papa to be mad, she smiled and reached for his nose.

He allowed her to grab it, saying, "No! Not again! You stole my nose!" in a high squeaky voice.

She laughed and tried to hide her hand behind her back.

"Where is it?" He pretended to search for it, muttering, "I canna breathe wid out it!"

She brought her hand around and patted his nose, cooing, then holding her hands out to grab his face so he could give her kisses.

Belle snapped a picture with her phone.

Rumple kissed her little face, naming each part of her as he did so. "Papa kisses Adriana's nose, Papa kisses Adriana's forehead . . .eyes . .. cheeks . .. and her wee mouth . . ." Then he went and blew a raspberry on her tummy.

She carded her little fingers through his hair as she laughed. The stuffed animals started laughing too.

Rumple began singing, "A wee bitty baby ran through the town, upstairs, downstairs, in her nightgown . . ."

As he did so he pretended to nibble her hands and toes.

Belle tickled her under her chin.

Their miracle squealed happily and all the stuffed animals fell over, prostrate with laughter.

"I love when she does that," Regina said, smiling. She wondered if she ever had a baby with Robin whether the baby would also have magic.

If she even could have a child. She'd failed so many times with Graham...

Maybe I'm meant to mother someone else's children...not my own as my punishment. But she didn't consider it a punishment to have raised Henry and now she would be raising Jason...and if things worked out well with Robin...Roland too.

And if that's how it was meant to be, she could live with that. After all being a mother didn't necessarily mean bearing a child.

"So Gold...any ideas on how Paul's gonna help us?" demanded Emma when she and Jeff approached them.

Rumple looked up at the sheriff and put his baby on his shoulder and told her what he had told Belle about the bridge being an anchor for a portal bean. "That's what I think we should try and do, but if Paul has another idea, he's welcome to try it."

"Where are we going to find a bean?I doubt Anton would have one here."

Rumple thought for a moment. "Well, there were rumors floating around before the curse was cast that a pirate named Smee had access to a bean . . .or so he claimed. But I'm not sure if he was taken here when the curse was cast or is still in our old land. Otherwise the only other thing we can do is find a beanstalk and climb it . . .or look for the ashes of the wardrobe tree that your parents sent you through."

"I'd prefer finding this pirate."

"Then you and Jeff be my guest, dearie, and do so," Rumple said. "Me, the less I have to do with those scum the better. There's no love lost between us since my ex-wife up and left us with one when Bae was a little boy."

"Guess we better start down at The Rabbit Hole or Blackbeard's."

"That would be a good idea," the sorcerer agreed. He patted Adriana gently on the back, and then said to his wife, "Why don't you take our bitty imp and put her down for a nap, Belle?"

"Let's go, my angel.." Belle said softly, cradling her precious bundle in her arms.

The baby nuzzled her and made a soft little sigh as she snuggled against her mother.

She lay the baby down in her crib and settled into the rocking chair beside it to read a book.

Major came and lay down beside the crib, wanting to be near the baby, his head on his huge paws, content yet watchful.

Two months later:

Emma and Jeff had managed to locate Smee, finding him working down at the docks for the cannery while engaged in a few shady deals on the side .. . mainly extorting people out of their family heirlooms. It was also discovered that he had been the fence for the Black Dogs, and had known sketchily about the raid going down at the Scorpions hideout. Emma wanted to toss him in the clink for that, but Jeff persuaded her to make a deal with him-in exchange for giving them a magical bean, he wouldn't go to jail for that little misdeed . . . though Emma never agreed not to prosecute him for other infractions. Smee agreed and the bean was theirs.

All of the people wanting to travel back to the Enchanted Forest gathered at the Gold house. Because there were so many of them, they would have to toss the bean in an open field so that the portal was large enough to fit everyone.

Rumple, Belle, and Bae found all their old clothing in the basement of the shop and had it delivered to all of the travelers two days before the portal opened as well as magic bags created by Mary Poppins so that could carry anything they wanted with them.

Belle was wearing her old blue work dress and she made her husband wear a pair of his leather pants or threatened to exile him to the sofa for a week.

"Okay, dearie, and here's a pair for you too, Bae," Rumple said, and handed his son a pair.

Andi was grinning. She'd been looking forward to this for a long time.

"Papa, are you sure?" Bae looked hesitant.

"He's sure...now get in them..." Andi ordered.

If he didn't oblige her she was going to borrow Belle's broom.

Bae shook his head and muttered something about obsessions with women and leather, then took them into the bathroom to change. He also had his old blue tunic and his soft shawl that his papa had made for him.

Andi was wearing an ice blue gown that had been made for her by her mother and her butterfly necklace as well as a gold bracelet of a scorpion.

Bae examined himself in the bathroom mirror before walking out, wondering if the leather made his legs look too spindly. He'd grown an inch and a half since the curse broke and nearly rivaled his father in height.

Not that it mattered any, he thought. Rumplestiltskin could cut him down to knee high with one well-placed Look.

"Bae! What're ya waiting for? Christmas?" shouted Gisella impatiently.

"Oh keep your skirt on!" he yelled back.

Belle laughed. "Come on out and lets have a look!"

He tugged his tunic down and adjusted his belt before he went out to show them his new clothing, praying he didn't look like a cheap imitation of his father.

Andi's mouth dropped open and she could've sworn her body temperature went up over a thousand degrees. This was the boy she'd first fallen in love with.

Not that she didn't love him less in his modern clothes. He could've worn a toga and she still would've thought he was the handsomest boy she'd ever seen.

"Do I look okay?"

"Umm...ummm...yes..." she croaked.

She needed a bucket of ice water.

And she wanted to kiss him breathless, not giving a damn if half the town saw it.

Bae was relieved that he didn't look like a poser . . .because not everyone looked good in leather pants. Though these were comfortably soft and not too tight. Then again, his papa had made them, and he knew Bae's measurements to a T.

"Oh the heck with it!" Andi exclaimed and threw her arms around him and kissing him.

"A Stiltskin in leather...irresistible," Belle murmured, giving her husband heated looks.

"Hey, now we have to set an example here," he began, smirking.

"I've got one to set," she said and kissed him.

He wound his arms around her and kissed her back.

"Soooo...when are you going to indulge ME, Hopper?" Marie demanded of her husband.

"I am not wearing them, Marie...not in this lifetime or the next...And besides...I think I indulged you enough on our honeymoon..." Archie murmured.

.

"Oh will you all get a room!" chuckled Regina.

"We will...once we get back to our castle..." Belle whispered.

"Well if you can come up for air, I'd like to see this place," Emma said.

"Sorry, dearie. I . .. err . . .have that effect on her in these," Rumple coughed, amused.

"So I gathered."

She was busy admiring a certain Hatter in his own leather pants.

"All right, now is everyone ready?" Rumple called out.

"We're ready, Rumple," Archie called back.

"Then let's get going," he said, and led the way to the glowing portal. David and Jeff along with a few other hearty adventurers still in the forest, had gone with Paul's help and cleared the land of ogres. The queen's castles were still standing and so were a lot of other residences

Grumpy stood beside the portal, ready to take tolls. He held a glowing crystal ball, which would capture a single happy memory of each person's time in Fairy Tale Land, to be retrieved once they returned to Storybrooke.

"We're going home, sweetheart," Belle said to her daughter.

As her hand touched the crystal ball she recalled the night Rumple proposed to her. It would be her return toll.

The globe glowed as it gently absorbed the memory. "Go ahead, Belle."

The young mother stepped through the portal with Adriana in her arms.

Since Emma and Henry had no memories of the Enchanted Forest, Grumpy allowed them to place any happy thought into the globe instead.

Emma made the day she was reunited with her son her fondest memory while Henry made his the day she and Regina broke the first curse together.

Bae made his the day he had met Andi down at the village.

Andi made hers the day she met Bae and had lunch with him at the market.

Marie's was the day her daughter was born. As she placed one hand on the crystal ball the other caressed her abdomen. She was planning on telling her sister her good news soon.

Rumple paused before putting his hand upon the globe. He had many memories he could choose, but the one he picked was the day when Belle recovered from the poisoning by Zelena and he and Bae were beside her bed for that was the day he first realized, even if it was only to himself, that he loved his chatelaine and that she loved them as her family.

Next it was Gisella's turn. Hers was the night she was told she would meet her new daddy in a new land and there he was...right beside her.

When Archie placed his hand on the globe he recalled the day he first met Marie, chasing him around the castle with the infamous Bordreaux broom.

Regina was one of the last people to pass through. When she placed her hand on the globe she recalled having a secret picnic in the woods with Daniel.

"We're home, darling!" Belle said to her daughter when they came out of the portal in the Dark Castle gardens. As she feared, the castle itself was in disrepair after so many years of neglect. The weeds were overgown and some of the beautiful statuary was broken and that was just on the outside. She dreaded finding out what it looked like inside.

Pongo looked up at the castle and started barking.

"Easy Pongo..." Gisella soothed.

Major growled.

Bae stroked him. "It's okay, boy. Nothing's gonna hurt you." He looked uneasily at Rumple and Belle. "What's with him?"

"The curse lingers a bit," Rumple said, feeling the hairs on the back of his neck prickle. He concentrated and the lingering darkness was dispersed.

"But...how?" Archie asked, confused. "The second or the first?"

"Most likely it's the first one, "Belle said.

She grabbed Rumple's hand, fearful of being parted again.

"It's all right. It's not active, it's just . . .when a Great Magic is worked, it leaves an aura . . .and it can be felt by us sensitives . . .or animals."

"Thank God Regina burned that damned book with the curse in it," Archie grumbled.

Adriana began whimpering a bit.

'Shhh...it's okay sweetie...Papa won't let anything hurt you..." Belle murmured.

Emma frowned. "Is that why I feel like somebody just walked over my grave, Gold?"

"That's why," he assured her. He reached out and caressed Adriana's face. "Shhh, babydoll. It's okay, the bad thing is gone away now."

Regina breathed a sigh of relief. She could feel the dark magic calling to her, tempting her but even without the bracelet she now had the strength to resist it because she had so many people believing in her.

Rumple went to the great double doors and touched them in a certain pattern. Then he whispered, "I have returned."

The doors shimmered with light and then opened, the spell warding them broken at last by the return of the master of the castle.

Rumple entered the foyer, and at the first touch of his boot upon the floor, the enchanted sleep was broken.

Gabby raced out of the family room, barking. "The Master! It's the master..."

The hassock skidded to a halt when it saw Major and Pongo.

The shepherd cocked his head in puzzlement. "Whuff?"

Pongo was equally confused. "Whuff?"

The two dogs approached the hassock and sniffed it.

Gabby wagged his tassel and yipped, "Master! Oh, master! You've come home and you brought FRIENDS for me to play with!" He began barking happily and sniffing the two dogs.

"That's not all we brought, honey," Belle said softly. "We have a few additions to the family."

"Where? Where?" Gabby was running in circles and had he been a real dog he probably would have peed on the floor from excitement. "Everyboody! The Master's hoome! Whoo hoo!"

"He hasn't changed a bit!" Bae laughed and went to pet the hassock.

"Oooh Daddy...lookit...he's just like the thingie in Beauty and the Beast," Gisella exclaimed.

Belle kneeled down holding Adriana. "Here's one of the new additions to the family, Gabby...meet Adriana."

"Ohh! Hello! Hello! Belle, why's she so tiny?" Gabby wagged his tail and licked the baby.

"She was just born a few months ago."

Suddenly a familiar candlestick and a mantel clock slid down the bannister and Lumiere cried, "Mon Dieu! 'Tis a baby, Cogsworth! Master, is that-?"

"Lumiere! Cogsworth!" Belle exclaimed.

"Milady Belle! Master Rumple! You've returned!" Cogsworth cried and ran to hug Belle.

"Lumiere, meet my daughter, Adriana Isabella Gold!" Rumple announced proudly.

Lumiere hopped over to see Adriana. "Oh, she's beautiful! Looks just like her papa!"

"How wonderful!" Cogsworth cried, smiling.

Gisella approached them. "You're like the clock in Beauty and the Beast!"

Cogsworth looked up at her. "And who are you, young miss?"

"M'Gisella Hopper. And there's my mommy and daddy..an our doggie Pongo," she said, pointing back at her parents and their dog.

"Hello again, Cogsworth. It's nice to see you again, said Marie.

"Lady Marie! How lovely to see you again!" the clock came and shook her hand and Gisella's hand. "Welcome back!"

"And this is Archie...my husband but...he didn't look like this when he was here before."

"No...I was a cricket." Archie said.

"You . . .were Jiminy Cricket!" Cogsworth cried. "And now you're a man again!" He shook Archie's hand too.

"Yes I am."

"It's Belle, Bae, and the Master!" yelled Tobias as he and Wesley hopped into the room.

"Master! When did you get back?" cried Tobias.

"Was it an awfully long time?" asked Wesley.

Tobias rolled his eyes. "Of course, you noddle head! You act like he was gone just last night!"

"Well, it feels like last night, you pudding brain!" Wesley shoved his brother. "Outta the way! I get to say hi first!"

Tobias shoved him back. "No me!"

"Me!"

"No, me!"

"Lads!"

Rumple gave both of them a Look.

Both shakers froze and looked at the ground. "Sorry, Master." They chorused.

"Well, I see they haven't changed," Belle chuckled.

Adriana laughed and tried to reach for them.

"Did you think they would?" Rumple chuckled. He knelt and picked up the two shakers. "I missed you too, lads. Now there's some people I'd like you to meet. Say hello to my baby girl, Adriana." He went and showed them to her.

"Hi! I'm Wesley!" said the salt shaker, and he took Adriana's finger in his small hand.

Adriana burbled at him.

"An' I'm Tobias," said his brother. "But you call me Toby. Pleased to meetcha!" He took her other hand.

The baby giggled at him.

"Wow! Now we gots one of everything in the castle!" Wesley cried.

"'Cept a king. We don't got that," Tobias reminded him.

"The Master's better than any old king!" Wesley declared.

"Daddy, how come you didn't tell me they got salt n pepper shakers that can talk too?" Gisella demanded of her father.

"It would've ruined the surprise, Princess."

Tobias looked at Gisella. "Hey! You're a princess? Then is he a king?"

"If he's her daddy then he is!" Wesley rolled his eyes. "Duh! Jarhead!"

"Nah my daddy's not a king but he useta be a cricket."

"Shut up, salt for brains! B'fore I tip you over and spill 'em all out!" Tobias snapped.

"You're funny," Gisella said and laughed.

Tobias grinned. "That's cause I got all the brains in the family. How'd your daddy become a man if he was a cricket? Was he enchanted like us?"

"Uh-huh. The mean blue fairy made him one...then we when we got to the new land he was a man. An then that meanie Zelena turned him back into a cricket an' mommy kissed him so he's never gonna be a cricket again."

"Cool!" Wesley said. "That's as good a story as the ones the Master tells us!"

"She's my papa's niece, boys," Bae told them. "And she's gonna be staying here too."

"Yippee!" Tobias shouted and spun about. Pepper flew all over.

Rumple and Adriana sneezed.

"You idiot! You got all the brains in the family my butt!" Wesley snapped.

"I forgot how crazy they are," Marie said with a laugh.

"They're like little kids too..."

"They are, Gisella," her father answered.

"More n'you!" Tobias stuck his tongue out at Wesey. "Mama said so!"

"Mama died when you were born!"

"Well, she woulda said it, so there!"

"Lads, enough! Or would you like five minutes in the corner?" Rumple asked sternly.

"Ooh you better quit cause the corner sucks," Gisella advised.

"No!" yelped Wesley.

"We'll be good!" Tobias said. They gave Rumple their best innocent-little-boy smiles.

"I'm actually curious about how the kitchen is going to act with another cook in the family," Belle said to her husband.

"Oh I doubt they'll let me near it," Archie laughed.

"If I say so, it will," Rumple said firmly. "Toby, Wes, why don't you show Gisella around here while I introduce Archie to my kitchen? Gabby, Bae, you can show everyone else to a guest room and make sure if there's any enchanted furniture you introduce them properly."

"Okay, Papa." Bae said.

Rumple set Wesley and Tobias down and Tobias hopped over to Gisella and said, "Yay! I'm a page! Follow me!"

"Yeah a blank page," his brother muttered. "Let's show Gisella the family room."

"What's in there...more stuff like you guys?"

"Uh huh. There's Misty the sofa . . ." Tobias told her.

"Oooh I wanna see!"

"This way!" yodled Wes.

"C'mon Pongo, Major!" Gisella called back to the dogs.

The dogs and Gabby followed.

"Mom, I wanna see too," Henry said to Regina.

"Me too!" Jason cried.

"And me!" Roland added.

"Go ahead...but don't touch anything you shouldn't," Regina said to the younger boys.

"We won't!" Roland promised. "We don't want Mister Rumple to put us in the corner."

"Wonder if Misty's a dog like Gabby, Major, and Pongo," Gisella mused.

"Nope! You'll see!" said Wesley. As he approached the family room door, it swung open. "Hey, Misty! We got guests again in the castle! And not mean ol' butthead ones like snotty Zelena either!"

"Rowl? Rowllllll!" the sofa screeched when it saw the two dogs.

"Oooh, it's a kitty!" Gisella exclaimed.

She hopped onto the sofa and petted it. "Major an Pongo won't hurt you, kitty..."

Misty arched her arm up and purred.

"I wanna pet the kitty!" cried Jason.

Gisella moved over so the two younger boys could join her.

Sensing the cat was friendly, the dogs lay down on the floor in front of her.

Henry went and stroked the cat sofa marveling at how soft it was. "Like a cat's fur!"

"You got any more like her here, Wesley?" Roland asked.

"Uh, no. She's the only cat," the salt shaker answered. "But we got more enchanted stuff in the kitchen and upstairs. Master's study gots a bookcase and Belle's room has Cosette the armoire."

"And Mrs. Potts and Chip!" said Tobias. "He's a sugar bowl kid, like us. And his mama's the teapot!"

"I wanna see!" Gisella cried.

"C'mon!" Tobias ran over to the door. "They're on the tea cart in the alcove by the dining room!"

Henry was fascinated by everything in the castle, and asked many questions as they went through it, wanting to know everyone's story.

When Rumple walked into the kitchen, it gave a rousing cheer, like a crowd celebrating the return of a hero.

"I've got a lot to live up to, don't I?" Archie asked him.

"Uh . . . it kind of worships me," Rumple admitted awkwardly.

"Master, have you come to cook?" cried Ormand the meat cleaver.

"I have all the food ready!" sang Adelaide the pantry.

"I'm ready for some stew," said Ocras the cauldron.

"Hmmm...wonder how they'd react to my chili..."

Rumple clapped his hands. "Everyone, listen up! This is my brother-in-law, Archie. He'll be living here in the castle now and while he's here, he's going to cook like I do."

Archie prepared to duck flying objects.

"Nobody cooks like you, Master!" Ormand said loyally.

"Umm .. . well . . .he's almost as good and that's really a matter of opinion. So . . .as long as he's here, you will all be gracious and polite . . .or else you'll go into storage with that harpy Chantal!"

"I'm not going into storage!" protested Adelaide.

"You know how to cook boy...prove it!" demanded Ocras.

"Go on," Rumple urged. "Show them. You can ask for any of the spices you need and they'll come to you off the rack. Anything else. Adelaide will give to you."

Archie rolled up his sleeves. "All right...you're in the mood for stew? Let's try my beef one..."

"Ocras will give you water," Rumple said pointing to the cauldron. "Just say "Fill yourself" and name the liquid. His name means hungry."

He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket. he'd written down the spices that were used in the Ramen noodle packets and managed to replicate it while he was in Rome.

"All right Ocras...I'll need you to fill yourself with water."

The cauldron obeyed, and pure water filled it.

"Adelaide, I will need the flour, please."

The pantry popped open her drawer and flour appeared on the counter.

He started calling out the other ingredients...onions, beef, carrots, eggs, potatoes.

They all appeared on the counter next to him in the order he'd asked for them.

He grabbed a bowl and mixed the flour, eggs and some oil in it then used a rolling pin to flatten it out.

Then using a knife, he started cutting the flour into small square shaped pieces.

Once the noodles were made he placed them on a tray and set them aside while he chopped up the carrots, potatoes, onions and beef.

"Is there anything else you need?" the pantry asked him.

"Tobias and Wesley," Archie answered.

Then he started calling out the order for the spices he would use in his roast beef seasoning.

He set the spice aside and placed the beef cubes in the cauldron to cook first.

Rumple summoned the shakers to him. "Lads, we need you to season some stew."

"You're not cooking?"

"No, Archie is," Rumple explained. "He's my brother, so you're to listen to him while he's in the kitchen like you do me, understand?"

"Kay! What you need us to do, Archie?"

"I'll need you to season the spices in this bowl and the beef in the cauldron...about three shakes each…understand?"

The two obeyed and shook three times into each object.

"How you know how to cook if you were a cricket before?" Tobias asked.

"I had to before I became one...my parents didn't know how..."

"Our papa didn't either. Everything he tried to make tasted like sawdust," Wesley told him. "He was a carpenter. But Toby and I didn't wanna work with wood . . .so when he died we went an' 'prenticed ourselves to the head cook here . . .ole Huff n'Puff."

"My parents didn't want to do much of anything...except run cons..."

"His real name was Phillippe," said Tobias. "But he was like a dragon so's that's why everybody called him that. He was a pain in my butt. Usta pull my ear when I forgot to give him something. An' once he beat Wes with his shoe."

"Well I don't beat anyone...you can ask my daughter."

"And you know I don't either." Rumple put in. After hearing that he was glad the stove had flown away.

While they were talking, Archie kept an eye on the beef and once it was cooked, he added the noodles one at time.

Tobias nodded. "And we know you'd never let anyone hurt us either, Master."

Once the noodles were cooked, Archie added the vegetables and his seasoning.

"What do you think so far?' he asked the kitchen.

He hadn't made any of them fly away or burned the place down.

The kitchen clapped. "You're a good under chef!" the utensils cheered.

"At lease you won't throw my mistakes out on the road and yell get your roadkill."

Tobias giggled. "Who does that?"

"My daughter." Archie chuckled. "Though while we were in Greece I was tempted to do it a few times when we went out to dinner."

"I can just imagine," Rumple chuckled.

"You know I cannot stand blood in my steak...well in this one place outside Athens they made my steak like that...and I sent it back."

"How many time?"

"Twice! We ummm...actually got thrown out of the place because Gisella DID take it off my plate the second time and threw it out on the road because we were outside."

Rumple started laughing. "I would have paid good money to see that!"

"Marie recorded it she just never got around to showing it to you. And one night in Rome Marie and I just felt like staying in and umm...we ordered chicken parmesan and when we got it...part of it was still frozen!"

"Oh gods! I would have had a fit."

"Oh I did..cursed the lot of them out in Italian."

"Good for you," Rumple approved.

"So our planned night in ended up having to go out to eat anyway."

"Well, here we can eat home every night, unless Maurice, Snow or Regina invites us to their castles."

"We ended up checking out of a hotel in Athens and another in Rome and finding ones with kitchens."

"The best meals are ones you make yourself." Rumple stated.

While the men were in the kitchen, the women were upstairs helping Belle set up the nursery and getting settled in their rooms.

"I'm so glad to be back Cosette," Belle said softly.

"Belle!" the armoire ran and hugged her. "How glad I am that you've returned."

"And I'm married to Rumple, his curse is broken...and we have a baby..."

Cosette squealed. "You see? I told you he loved you . . .and can I see your little one?"

"You certainly can...Adriana…this is Cosette..." Belle held the baby up.

"Oh, how precious!" The armoire said. She reached out and tickled Adriana under the chin. "And aren't you the apple of your mama and papa's eye?"

"Oh yes...especially her papa, aren't you sweetheart."

Adriana gurgled and all of her toys clapped their hands.

"Oh my! We have a little sorceress, don't we?"

"Yes. Rumple's had to rein in some of her powers..."

"Ah . . .well . . .your papa knows best, doesn't he, sweet thing?" Cosette cooed. "This one's gonna break a lot of hearts when she's older. Or her papa will when they come a'courtin' her!"

"Belle...I think I'll lie down a bit," Marie said softly.

"Go ahead, Marie...and Rumple already wants them to run a gauntlet...him, Bae and Archie...he was the cricket who stayed here for a short time."

"Can't say I blame him." Cosette giggled. "Mine used to say he was polishing up his crossbow . . and it just might go off on accident if any boys startled him while he was doing it on the porch!"

"In Rumple's case it wouldn't be an accident..."

"No, the Master's always been overprotective of his children. Why, he wouldn't let Bae out of the castle for months after Rasputin cursed him. Oh, the arguments that boy had with him! But the Master wouldn't budge. Not till he knew Bae was safe from anyone who dared to harm him."

"Oh I have so much to tell you about our life in the new land..."

"And I'd love to hear it, honey," Cosette said. "So let's put your little one down for a nap and then you can talk some with me."

"Okay sweetheart...sleepytime..." Belle said to her daughter.

Adriana yawned and closed her eyes when Belle rocked her and soon she was fast asleep. Belle put her down her in crib and then she talked with her old friend for an hour while her family and guests all settled down in the former Dark Castle, returned at last to the Enchanted Forest where it had all began.


	22. Fitting Back In and Fighting It Out

22

~ Fitting Back In and Fighting It Out ~

Belle, Moe, Gisella and Marie were curious to see how their old village fared during the curse and it was decided that the whole family would take a trip to Avonlea. The other families wanted to join them as well, many of them never ventured that far into the realm.

It had rained the night before and there were mud puddles everywhere, splashing water and dirt onto the sides of the carriages and on the horses Snow, David, Robin and Regina were riding. They didn't mind it...they were used to it.

Rumple enlarged his original carriage so that it could accommodate his large family. He was busy weaving a new blankie for Adriana while Belle rocked her to sleep. Bae was sketching with Major dozing at his feet. Marie and Archie were sleeping and Gisella was looking out the window and petting Pongo who was sprawled across her lap.

"Are we there yet?" she asked impatiently.

Moe lowered the book he was reading and frowned at his granddaughter. "I hate it when they do that." he grumbled to Rumple.

"It's a given with children, dearie. Now Gisella, we still have a ways to go...why don't you color something?"

"Yeah and if you keep asking if we're there yet, we're never gonna get there," Bae repeated something Rumple had said to him once in a fit of exasperation going to the market one day.

"Why not?"

"Because something's gonna happen so we don't," Bae answered.

Suddenly the carriage struck a rock. Belle cradled her daughter to her chest protectively as the carriage bounced in the air. Moe groaned as his head struck the ceiling and Archie and Marie were thrown off their seat and onto the floor.

"What the hell...?" Archie moaned.

Marie was smirking beneath him. "I'm not complaining."

"See what I mean?" Bae muttered, grabbing his sketchbook. Major woke up and gave a soft bark.

Adriana also woke up and started crying.

"I didn't do that!" Gisella wailed.

"Damn...I feel like my head's exploding..." Moe groaned.

Rumple reached over and touched him on the head, healing the injury. "There, good as new, dearie!"

"Great...you two...off the floor...save that for when we get to the castle...damned newlyweds!" Moe grouched at his other daughter and her husband.

"Oh Papa, relax...we weren't doing anything...yet..." Marie murmured.

The couple got up and back into their seat. "Gisella, sweetie...what's wrong? Did you hit your head?" Marie asked her daughter.

"No...but Bae said something bad was gonna happen if I kept asking are we there yet?" she sobbed.

"He was just teasing, Princess. It was an accident," Archie soothed.

Rumple got out of the carriage, Belle behind him. When he looked back at the rest of their travelling companions he wasn't surprised to see that they'd all run into a bit of trouble. Robin, Regina, Snow, and David had all been thrown from their horses after the animals were frightened by the carriage bouncing. "Is anyone injured?" he asked.

"No...just filthy..." Regina mumbled.

She cast charms on herself, Robin, Snow and Charming to clean them up and Rumple accompanied her to the other carriages to see how the rest of their group was faring. Emma had mud all over her face. She'd been splashed while peering out the open window at all the scenery and was irritated by how many times she'd been bitten by insects. Rumple conjured an insect repellant for her and gave her instructions on how to clean herself up with magic.

Most of them were tired of riding and wanted to get out a bit and walk around or just sit. Because the terrain would make walking difficult for Rumple even with his cane, he decided to stay behind with Bae, Moe and Adriana. Roland, Henry, Jason and Gisella went off to play a game of hide and seek. Archie and Marie went for their own walk. Snow and David were going to use the free time to teach Emma sword and archery skills. Robin asked Regina if she would like to learn but she declined with a smile saying Robin could teach her anytime. She spotted Belle walking alone and approached her.

"Would you mind if I joined you?" the former queen asked softly.

"Not at all," Belle said with a smile. "You look like you need to talk about something."

"I do actually. I never got a chance to thank you for what you did for me during my trial. I know you were the one helped sway the final vote in my favor."

"I know everything that happened wasn't all your fault, Regina. We've forgiven you and moved on with our lives. The important thing is that you are willing to accept your part and make amends for it. I only met your mother once and I know she never would've done that."

"That's true….she didn't care about anyone else but herself. I still don't understand why my father ever married her since she was cruel to him as she was to everyone else. I suppose it was because of her boast that she could spin straw into gold...but she couldn't…Rumple charmed her wheel so that she could. Oh, she was so angry when she found that out…about as angry as she was when he wanted her to give up her scheme of becoming a queen when he knew she'd fail."

She glanced back at Roland, Jason and Henry playing with Gisella. Roland found a wildflower and picked it, handing it to a blushing Gisella.

"Robin's asked me to marry him once we get back to Storybrooke."

"That's wonderful Regina!" Belle cried. "Did you accept?"

"Yes. Which brings me to a problem…who will give me away?"

"There's only one person I can think of…the one who wanted to be your father and never could….Rumple."

"Do you think he would?" Regina asked hopefully.

"He would be honored, Regina. You weren't his but he did care about you…he always has. Look how many of us have children we didn't give birth to but love as our own…yourself included."

"I do want to have a baby of my own but I don't think I can."

Belle stopped and took the older woman's hands in hers. "Love is hope…it fuels our dreams, believe and it will happen Regina," she advised. "Look at me…I was told I never could have a baby of my own and now I do….because I found the strength to believe in myself…and in the love Rumple had for me to make it happen."

"Thank you…." Regina sniffled. "I…I think I needed to hear that very much..."

"Have you been told you can't bear a child?"

"No….I've been trying for so long and failing I started to think I couldn't."

Belle suspected her failures had something to do with the second curse. For her defiance, Cora targeted her own daughter and made it so that she would have a difficult time finding true love and family, two things she truly wanted, not be the queen of a realm.

"When are you going to make the announcement?"

"Let's wait till we get settled in at the castle. Until then…" Regina made a zipping motion on her lips.

"I won't say a word but I am very happy for you, Regina."

The two women embraced.

At the other end of the trail Archie and Marie were sitting on a log, both of their faces pale.

"We're going to have to tell everyone soon before they find out on their own," Archie groaned and leaned over as he was overcome by another wave of nausea. Seconds later Marie was vomiting beside him.

"This is….worse than when I was pregnant with Sella," she gasped.

"Are you all right?"

"Are _you?" _

"I'm getting used to it. Rumple's already been through this and I know it's just going to get worse until you give birth. "

"It just feels so different…having someone this time…"

"I'm not going anywhere," he said softly, taking her hand in his and gazing lovingly into her eyes. "We should be getting back."

He helped her to her feet and they walked back to the road.

Jeff and Emma were playing a game of dodgeball with all the kids. Pongo and Major were chewing on bones Rumple conjured for them and the rest of the adults were sitting in front of a fire he made sipping tea and cocoa.

"Can't we make camp here? I'm tired of riding," Emma complained when she, Jeff and the children joined them. "Or why don't we just magic ourselves to the castle?"

Snow frowned at her daughter. "You wanted to see our world…how are you going to see it if we magic ourselves to the castle?" she demanded.

"Ummm…you got a point there Mom…but I'm used to riding in a car, not a carriage where you bounce around like you're on a trampoline."

"Hey…why don't we…it'd be just like we were camping!" Henry suggested.

"Henry, Adriana's too small to be out camping," his father reminded him.

"But Rumple can put some kind of protection on her so she can't get sick or cold, can't you?" Henry inquired of the sorcerer.

"Daddy I wanna camp out!" cried Roland. "Be just like we was in the Sherwood Forest an' in the woods back home. C'mon…please…?"

"Mommy, I wanna camp too!" added Jason.

"So do I!" declared Grace.

"Me too!" Gisella was already giving her parents the sad puppy look.

"Be just like old times for us, eh guys?" Bae asked his fellow Scorpions and Purple Knight.

"Yeah…'cept we did that when had to pull a job that was too far away from the warehouse," said Kat.

Rumple scowled at them. "Let's not be discussing your criminal misdeeds in front of the little ones, you lot!" he scolded. "And I DO NOT want to hear that kilt song or your backsides will be sore, my kids or not!"

"Oh we know what it is!" Grace said and laughed.

"Gracie!" Jeff cried.

"Me too," said Gisella. "It's 'bout some guy's weenie."

Archie facepalmed himself. "Marie…..if you tell me she heard that from Zelena I am going to skin that goat when we get back!" he growled.

"You won't hear me complain," she grumbled, ready to do it herself.

"Nuh uh….it was that other witch…Ashley Boyd. She was telling the blue witch about it one day 'cause some guy wore one without any undies on…that's gross!"

The former gang members were laughing. "Damn, they know more than WE do half the time!" exclaimed Ewan.

"Henry Mills Hatter, just WHERE did you and your sister hear about that song?" demanded Regina.

"You Tube. Some kid at school told us about it because they said Ewan and Bobby sang it at the dance and they recorded it."

"WHAT?" cried Belle, startling Adriana awake. "Oh, I'm sorry sweetheart…"

The baby screamed in protest.

She got up to walk her daughter around to try to calm her and when she approached Bae and his group, she shook her finger at them. "Now do you see why Rumple and I didn't want you singing that song at the dance? It's all over the school! You're lucky I don't take the broom to you!"

"Sorry, Missus Gold," Ewan and Bobby said, lowering their heads.

"And I'll be monitoring your internet activity a bit closer now, Henry," Regina said angrily.

"Same goes at our house," Emma spoke up.

"We gonna camp out or what?" Roland demanded of his father.

"That's up to Rumple…he has the baby to think of."

Adriana, however, had her father's answer ready. Several of her bears jumped out of the carriage carrying blankets and pillows.

Bae laughed. "It's the Stuffed Army!"

The bears marched up to Rumple and dropped the pillows and blankets at his feet while she clapped her hands and laughed from her position in her mother's arms.

Then they stood at attention, awaiting a reply.

Rumple looked at the stuffed animals, then back at his daughter. "It looks like Adriana is happy to be out here, so we'll spend the night here and get a fresh start in the morning." He made a large tent with his magic for him, Belle, Moe, and Adriana with all the amenities, and a larger one for Bae and his friends. Mark had opted not to come because he was working on some new computer software.

"Yay...we can make mountain pies too!" Roland cheered.

Mary conjured a tent for herself, Archie, Marie, Gisella, and Pongo while Regina and Emma created tents for the Charmings, Hatters, and Hoods.

"This is just like the progresses we used to do," Snow said softly to Regina.

The former queen smiled. That was when the people actually loved her. With a lot of help from her extended family and friends, the people of the Forest were starting to change their minds about her and placing the majority of the blame where it belonged...her mother.

"Let's make S'mores," Andi said, and took out some graham crackers from her backpack, along with marshmallows and chocolate bars.

"Oooh I love S'mores! An I wanna make pizza pies too!" Roland could barely contain his excitement.

"I'll get some sticks,"Bae offered. He went over to a good sized maple and began cutting some with his knife, which Rumple had gotten in a trade with Rip Van Winkle long ago.

"Didja bring our pie makers, Daddy?" Gisella asked her father.

"You didn't think I was going to leave them at home, did you?"

Archie pulled the pie makers out of one of the magic bags they brought with them along with ingredients to make several kinds of pies.

"This was perfect, Rumple," Belle said softly. "This little one of ours...is brilliant...getting us all here together as a family."

"Just like her mama," he said, tweaking his baby's nose.

Adriana reached for his face, her way of asking for kisses too.

Rumple kissed her gently.

She patted his cheeks with her tiny hands and giggled.

"This is what we used to do a lot, eh Hatter?" Emma asked Jeff. He grinned. They slept outside quite a bit back then when they didn't have money for a room and couldn't break in to one either.

They all gathered around the campfire with sticks ready to make S'mores and Archie's mountain pie makers.

"Only thing we're missing is the beer," joked Jeff earning angry glares from the other adults.

Suddenly one of Adriana's bears marched up to him and started pointing, shaking its head.

The baby herself wore a scowl on her face.

Jeff stared. "How does SHE know what I'm talking about?"

Rumple answered, "She doesn't understand the words, but she sees us disapproving of whatever you said so that's what she picks up on. Tone and emotion. She might only be a baby, but she's not stupid."

"You made her mommy an' daddy mad now she's mad," Gisella said and rolled her eyes. "Duh! Where's your brains?"

"Gisella, enough!" scolded Marie.

Bae smirked and whispered to Andi, "She took the words right outta my mouth."

"She was just statin' the obvious!" Roland said, rushing to Gisella's defense.

"Yeah cause that was really dumb...you can't have beer with kids around..." added Jason.

After having his backside handed to him by a bunch of kids, Jeff decided it was wiser to just let the subject drop.

The kids started off with S'mores first, the former Scorpions helping the kids put them on the sticks and putting them in the fire as Roland, Jason and Gisella were not allowed to be that close to the firepit.

"We useta tell stories while we camped out didn't we, Daddy?" asked Roland.

"Yes but no scary ones."

Bae laughed. "We used to scare the crap out of each other with ours...right Wraith?"

Andi grinned. "We sure did."

"Yes, well you can scare each other later, Bae," his father said.

"I can tell a story, " said Jeff. Emma scowled at him. "What?"

"Your stories are not fit for young ears."

"Okay, fine...YOU tell one then!"

"Do I look like a storyteller?"

"We have two schoolteachers here, why don't we have one of them tell a story?"

"I have one...and I may need your help with this one, Marie," Belle said to her sister.

"Dare I ask?" Marie chuckled.

"Ohhh...it's about the time when we staged that great escape."

"Great escape!" Moe cried. "You nearly started a riot!"

"Now I want to hear this..." murmured Rumple.

"So do I," said Archie.

Both men knew their wives were mischievous while they were growing up and had only heard of a few of their antics, now they were eager to hear about another.

"A few days before this incident...ummmm... Marie and I got into a bit of trouble with the cook..." Belle said sheepishly.

"What'd you do Mama, blow the place up?" Everyone in the group knew kitchens and Belle had a love/hate relationship since the stove incident in Rumple's castle and they weren't surprised to learn she'd gotten into some kind of trouble in the kitchen as a child too.

"No...but we ahhh...said we were going to help him cook and added a bit too much of a certain spice and..."

"Let's just say the outhouse was busy all day," Marie finished.

"Doin what, Mommy? One or two?" asked Gisella.

"Betcha it was number two, Sella," said Roland. "Cause that's what happened after we had Friar Tuck cook an' he put too much stuff in it."

"Ewwwww!"

"So...that was the FIRST time I was banned from the kitchen...and Papa told us we weren't allowed to go outside for a week."

"Belle had her books to keep her occupied but I was getting bored so I decided we were going to get out of the castle. We made a ladder out of our bedsheets and broke my bedroom window so we could climb out."

"And we did. We went into the village and was playing with a group of children when we saw one of the merchants refusing to sell an old woman a loaf of bread because she didn't have enough coins to pay for it. Marie and I went up to his stall and told him to quit being a greedy miser and let her have it...instead he hit me..."

"He's lucky I wasn't around then sweetheart or he would've been a snail," said Rumple angrily.

"He pulled my hair when I stepped on his foot," Marie added.

"And he's lucky I wasn't there or he'd be missing an eye or have a new hole where he didn't before!" growled Archie.

Gisella laughed. "That's what you said to that Black Dog when he pulled my hair ,Daddy."

"Well you mess with one of my girls and this cricket can beat you three ways to Sunday..."

"What did you do next, Belle?" asked Andi. The two women smirked.

"This, ladies and gentlemen, was the day the legend of the Bordreaux broom was made," Belle declared proudly.

"Whoo hooo...beatdown!" cheered Bae.

"It was the closest thing I could find...and bigger than me but I was so mad I must've been pumped full of adrenalin so I swung it and whacked him a good one...in a sensitive area."

The men cringed.

The women were grinning .

"Best place to aim, Belle." Snow told her. It was one of the ways she had of escaping when she was being pursued by Regina's knights and she was certain she'd gelded a few of them with the force from her kicks.

"She used the broom...I grabbed him and squeezed." Marie added.

"How old were you?"

"Twelve."

"Damn you two were lethal at that age? Scary thought," Jeff muttered.

"When Belle was done beating him I put in a few shots...and a couple of other ladies he'd treated the same way decided to get in on the action."

"Hence why I said they nearly started a riot." Moe finished.

"We were grounded again but Papa threw the merchant in jail for what he did to us."

Adriana clapped her hands and laughed. Her stuffed bear army hi-fived each other.

"I cannot get over how cool that is she can do that," exclaimed Grace.

Moments later she started crying. Belle lifted her up and patted her gently. "Okay, sweetie…let's go get you changed," she said softly and carried her daughter back to their tent.

"Papa, you want to tell them about how I almost blew up that castle?" Bae asked his father with a smirk.

"You're lucky you didn't, you scamp!"

"Why haven't I heard this one?" Andi inquired of her boyfriend.

"Well...errr..."

"Oh I'll be more than happy to answer that," Rumple sang.

"Yeah...this is gonna be good," laughed Bobby.

"I was out one day on one of my deals and one of my strictest rules was that Bae was NOT to be in my lab when I wasn't there. But...he wanted to make a perfume for a certain fair duchess himself instead of asking me."

"You almost blew up your papa's lab...for me?" Andi cried.

Bae blushed. "Ummm...yeah...but I was having trouble reading the ingredients and I kindasortaputtoomuchofsomething in..."

"What?" Ewan asked.

"That is exactly how it came out when I asked him what he was doing."

"How'd ya get all that out without needing to breathe?" Kat teased.

"I was holding my breath because I knew Papa was going to be mad enough to kick my butt."

"So what did you do, Rumple?" asked Becky.

"Oh I gave him a long list of chores."

His friends laughed.

"Aww c'mon guys…it's not like I actually blew the place up!"

"Well, you came close!" Rumple cried.

"Surprised Belle didn't give you a beatdown with the broom."

"That was before I brought her to live with us, Bobby."

"Okay we wanna hear more stories," Jason ordered. "You tell one now, Mommy."

"I don't know of many that are as funny as the ones we've heard so far…"

"I know the perfect one," murmured Robin.

"Which one?"

"The day I first saw you here."

"You robbed me!" Regina chuckled.

"Why am I not surprised the women in our family met our men during a robbery?" Emma asked.

"You were lucky you weren't turned into a slug, Hood," Rumple remarked.

"Did you use squid ink on her?"

"No, just his charm...charm that I should've been immune to but wasn't. He and his men set a nice little trap for me."

"What did they do, throw a tree on the road like when Snow robbed me?"

"Oldest trick in the book but it works."

"His men distracted my guards and he pounced on my coach like a tiger and snatched the chest of jewels I was going to give to Kathryn as a wedding gift then apologized to me...and kissed my hand."

"A charming robber...that's a new one," Emma muttered.

"Well when robbing a lady, you want to make it as pleasant as possible."

"If you happen to meet her face to face," Bae mused. "Usually I preferred to wait till my target was otherwise occupied and then take what I wanted."

"Where's the fun in that?"

"Not as much fun, but better than getting caught and put in jail," Bae answered. "Besides half the stuff I lifted wasn't anything I really wanted to hang onto. I fenced it and got the money."

"I shouldn't be hearing this," laughed Emma.

"And don't be giving the little ones ideas either," scolded Belle.

"Who me?" Bae gave his best totally innocent look.

"Yes, you!"

"Mama, I never said how I did any of my jobs, just WHAT I did. And I don't steal things anymore. Don't need to." Her son protested, putting his arm around her and hugging her. "But when I did . . . " He suddenly opened his hand and revealed her sapphire rose ring in his palm. " . . .I was like a ghost." He smirked and handed the ring back to her.

She swatted at him playfully. "Scamp!"

One of his sister's bears jumped on his lap, shook its hand at him and blew a raspberry.

"Looks like she told you, Fire!" Andi giggled.

Rumple rolled his eyes. "I still don't know how any son of mine is so good at robbing someone blind."

Bae chuckled. "I've got your hands, Papa. Slender and quick and small enough to fit into people's clothes without noticing. See?" He opened his opposite hand to reveal Rumple's money clip.

Rumple rolled his eyes and muttered, "You're lucky I love you, Baelfire. Otherwise your hands would be paws by now."

"He's better than I was at his age," Archie confessed.

Marie swatted at her husband. "I would have given you a beatdown with the broom if you robbed me!"

"Hey Uncle Rumple, can we make pies like your Golden Delight cookies?" asked Gisella.

"Yes, if we had chocolate chips and peanut butter," he replied.

"Well we gots a magic bag..."

"Ask for some peanut butter and chocolate chips then," he encouraged her.

"Kay." She picked up the bag. "Can I have some peanut butter and chocolate chips please?"

She reached unto the bag and pulled out a container of peanut butter and Hershey's chocolate chips.

"All right. Let me see what I can do," Rumple said, and summoned his mixing bowl and spoon, some goat's milk, eggs, flour, and butter.

"Can I have one?" asked Jason.

"Me too!" cried Roland.

Soon Rumple was flooded with requests from the entire group wanting Golden Delights pies.

"You know this is weird...we're away from home but we brought some of home with us," Emma said indicating her cell phone.

"Best of both worlds," murmured Regina.

Since he didn't have an oven here, Rumple baked the pies using magic and then multiplied what he'd baked so everyone could have one pie at least if not more, using a simple Banquet spell.

After they ate, all of the kids started getting sleepy and their parents put them to bed.

Then the adults sat around the fire and Jeff started a game of poker with David, Robin, Regina, Emma, and some of Robin's men.

When Bae would have joined them, Rumple shook his head. "No, Baelfire. You're not old enough to gamble with them."

"We're not going to bed either," protested Ewan.

"You can play amongst yourselves," Rumple said. "For these." He gestured and a pile of all kinds of candy bars and drinks appeared.

"If you have Kit Kats...I'm whupping the pants off all of ya," said Becky.

"And me too with Reeses," Kat added.

"There's a bit of everything in there," Rumple said.

"Okay then mates, let's play!" crowed Bobby.

He pulled out his deck of cards and said, "I'll deal first. Five card draw poker."

Belle was just content to sit in front of the fire beside her husband.

Rumple put an arm around her and leaned against a convenient log, his cane resting on his other side. Fireflies winked off and on in the twilight sky. Further away, and owl hooted and a nightengale sang.

"This is what I loved most about this land...the natural beauty..." Belle whispered.

"Yes, dearie. Unbroken by car horns, exhaust, electric lights, radios, or TV's."

"And for a little while...we can have that..."

"Yes, we can," he said, sipping a cup of cocoa. He smiled impishly at her, cocoa ringing his mouth in a sweet mustache.

She smiled and traced it with her fingertip.

"See something you like, sweetheart?"

"Oh yes..."

She leaned over and kissed him.

Grinning, he kissed her back, murmuring "This is better than hot cocoa."

"Maybe you should get a room," laughed Marie from where she sat snuggled close to her own husband.

"You don't want to see, look away," Rumple teased. "Unless you want some pointers." He kissed Belle again.

"Ohhh we don't need pointers..."

Marie wrapped her arms around Archie and kissed him.

Bae glanced over and started humming the theme from "The Love Boat".

It was after midnight when everyone found their beds for the night. Later in the morning they would resume their journey to Maurice's castle.

Around three in the morning, Adriana woke her parents crying to be fed and changed. Belle poked Rumple and muttered, "You wanna get her or should I?"

Rumple yawned. "No, you sleep. It's my turn anyway." He crawled from their air mattress and picked up his daughter.

After changing her, he heated up a bottle for her with his magic, and shook some on his wrist. In his arms, Adriana wailed hungrily.

"Hush, my wee lass," he crooned. "Papa's getting your milk." He popped the bottle into his baby's gaping mouth and she started guzzling milk like she was starving and hadn't seen food in two days.

He cuddled the baby against him and went and curled up on the mattress next to his sleeping wife.

He loved listening to the sounds of the early morning, the chirping of the crickets, the occasional croak of a bullfrog, and the soft humming of the wind as it blew through the trees. Belle's breathing was a sweet melody in his ears, as was the sound of his daughter drinking.

He basked in the serenity of the moment, with the little miracle in his arms and his wife beside him, her lovely face nestled peacefully into the pillow. After burping the baby, he opted to have her sleep in his arms, and snuggled down beside Belle, the three of them sleeping till the dawn touched the tops of the trees.

The next morning they woke ready to resume their journey, and were just getting ready to break camp when an unusual sight met their eyes.

A pink carriage followed by a group of people on horseback was travelling along the same road. The driver of the coach brought it to a stop when he saw the other coaches parked on the road and a group of tents set up in the forest.

Emma, who was on her way back to their tent after taking a much needed bath in the lake spotted the pink coach and burst into laughter.

"Hey guys...you are not gonna believe this...we got the Pepto Bismol Mobile here!" she called.

Bae came out of his tent carrying a coffee pot and cried, "Holy hells! It's the Pink Tart Wagon!"

"Get these carriages off the road!" shouted the driver.

"What is going on out there?' Belle asked from inside their tent, handing the baby to Mary.

"It's a free road, mister. Unless you think you own it?" Kat frowned.

"We DO own it you ignorant chit...now move 'em out!" shouted one of the horsemen.

"Oh shove it up your butt, you ass!" snapped Bobby, coming out just in time to hear one of the idiots insult his girlfriend.

"You need your mouth washed out, boy!" sneered another horseman.

Belle came out of their tent with her broom in her hands. "What is going on here?"

"Mrs. Gold, this limp dick here thinks he owns the road and insulted Shadow," Bobby cried. "And I told him where he ought to shove it."

The carriage door opened and a woman stepped out along with a poodle...that was as pink as the carriage it was riding in.

"Well...what do we have here...the Dark One's whore!"

Belle glared at her. "If it isn't the pox ridden bitchtress afterbirth of the devil herself...fancy meeting YOU here, Axelle!"

Bae dropped the coffee pot. "You rotten witch! Call my mama a whore again and I'll put your panties in knot so fast you'll need ten men to help you undo it!"

"You won't need to!" shouted Marie coming out of her tent with her own broom and Archie behind her holding his umbrella.

Rumple emerged from his tent, his eyes blazing, holding his cane. "Whoever just called my WIFE a whore had better start praying to whatever gods have mercy upon stupid asshats!"

Axelle smirked. "Your taste in men really has gone downhill...both of you...You have the Dark One and she has...whatever THAT is..."

Archie's face was as red as his hair as he fought to control his rage.

Belle put a hand on her husband's arm. "She's not worth the waste of your talent."

"She might look good as warthog, dearie . . .all stuck up to her snout in MUD!" sneered Rumple.

Axelle Villette's men dismounted from their horses. "Now you move these carriages and yourselves or we'll do it for you!"

The poodle was now face to face with Major and Pongo and growling at them.

Major bared his teeth and then picked up the idiot poodle in his jaws and held it aloft like a stuffed toy. It was the way he might have disciplined an annoying puppy.

"You stupid rug!" Gisella yelled. "Don'cha know these doggies can whup ya!"

"Watch your mouth around my dog...bastard!" Axelle hissed at Gisella.

"Who the hell colors a dog pink? You should be in jail for animal cruelty!" David shouted.

"And calls a child that word!" Snow cried angrily. "You ought to have been taught manners, you haughty piece!"

"That would be a miracle, since the Villettes were just gentleman farmers who married up in the world," Maurice sneered.

"She is one because her mother spread her legs for the whole village!"

"That bitch...!" Archie hissed.

"Sticks and stones, dearie," Rumple growled. "Mind your tongue, hag, or else you'll be croaking a different tune."

Axelle smirked. "And what of you, Maurice Bordreaux? Gisella isn't the only bastard in your family, is she? So is her mother! You, Rumplestiltskin are nothing more than a coward spinner with a bit of magic!"

One of the horsemen fired an arrow from a crossbow tipped with squid ink at the sorcerer. They were carrying it as soon as word reached their village he'd returned.

Rumple moved and caught it in his hand. Some of the ink stained his fingers. He smirked and let out a giggle reminiscent of the Dark One he used to be. "Oh, dearie dearie, dear! Looks like your little ploy is a big fat epic FAIL!"

"What...? Nothing is supposed to stop squid ink...nothing!"

"Wrong again, you ignorant lout! Because I discovered something where I was for the last twenty-nine years . . .the counter to it!" Rumple catcalled. "And now, dearie, YOU'RE in big trouble!" He gestured and the man's crossbow suddenly became a thorny vine that stuck him with huge prickers.

"Yeeooowwww!"

"Take that, you prick!" Bae catcalled.

"And as for you...pox ridden bitchtress afterbirth of the devil...take this!" Belle snarled, swinging her broom and smacking Axelle on the backside.

The other woman stumbled backwards grabbed Belle's arm, sending them both tumbling down the hill into a large mud puddle.

"Ohhhh...you whore...you stupid WHORE...now I'm all dirty!"

"Matches your personality, Axelle!"

Marie and Archie raced to the edge of the hill and started laughing. "Oh my God...Archie...it's like..."

"McLintock!" they said together.

Over at their campsite the members of Axelle's entourage were starting to fight with the rest of the adults.

Rumple sent three of them flying with a gesture into the mud. "Take a bath, you flea infested sons of bitches!"

"Hey watch it, Rumple...I almost went in!" Archie cried.

"So why don't you!" one of Axelle's men said and shoved him.

He landed in the mud puddle a few feet away from where Belle was throwing mud pies at Axelle.

Marie was looking down at her dirty husband, giggling.

Bae tore off his scarf and threw it inside his tent when he saw another man trying to sneak up on Rumple from behind. "Hey dumbbutt . . . how'd you like to get drowned?" He leaped at the man, tackling him into the mud.

"C'mon, guys! You hurt one Scorpion, you get your ass stung!" Bobby yelled and all the former gang members jumped upon Axelle's bodyguards.

One of them brushed up against Marie and sent her flying into the mud puddle.

"You idiots be careful! My wife is in a delicate condition!" Archie shouted up at them.

Belle froze.

Marie groaned. "Archie, when are you going to learn NOT to blurt things out like that?"

"Wife? Right. Probably another bastard!" yelled Axelle.

"I'll give you a bastard you reject from a horse's ass!" Belle shouted back, dunking her head under the water.

Snow grabbed a slingshot from her belt and began lobbing mud at the enemy. "Don't just stand there, Charming! Go and help! You too, Emma and Jeff!"

Emma slid down the hill and started throwing punches at every man she saw.

"My lady, will you excuse me for a bit?" Robin asked Regina.

"Kick ass!" Regina cheered.

She conjured a mud monster and it waded into the brawl.

Archie helped Marie to her feet and they started climbing back up the hill.

The little ones were jumping up and down, cheering the adults on.

"Mr. Gold...cane of doom!" Becky called up.

"Coming right up, dearie!" he cried, and then he levitated himself down and started whaling the attackers backsides and shoulders with his cane. The soldiers shrieked and cowered from the furious sorcerer and his lethal walking stick . . which delivered sharper blows than they would have thought possible.

"GIT HIM UNCLE RUMPLE!" shouted Gisella.

Just as they reached the top of the hill, Archie and Marie slid back down and bumped into Rumple.

"Oh my God this is freakin' hilarious!" Henry laughed, recording it all on his phone while Grace did the same with hers.

Regina moved closer to see what was going on.

"Mom, watch out you're gonna..."

"Too late," Grace said as Regina slid down the hill.

"Anybody got a beer?" Jeff asked.

"No the right line is 'where's the whiskey!" Archie said with a laugh.

"What?"

"Oh never mind! Your idea of a good movie is probably Animal House!"

Jason clapped his hands. "Mommy, beat 'em up!"

"Hang 'em from the trees by their undies, Daddy!" hooted Roland.

Robin waded into the fray and delivered a quick right and a left combo that knocked a guardsman on his behind . . .and then the outlaw bellowed, "John! It's lynching time!"

Little John lumbered up and grabbed the hapless fellow by his collar and promptly stuck him in the tree Regina grew for him by his underwear. "You wanna fight? Now this is what I call a FIGHT!"

"YAY ATOMIC WEDGIE!" hollered Jason.

"As for you…" Marie growled, grabbing Axelle by her hair and hauling her to her feet. "Someone ought to hang you by your pox ridden pantaloons, bitch! You're just jealous because we found men who actually LOVE us not want our money or what rot is between YOUR legs!"

"Give her a black eye, Mommy!" Gisella yelled.

She wanted to, oh how she wanted to but she didn't want to risk harming her baby.

"If I wasn't pregnant right now Axelle Villette, you'd be bald and beaten black and blue!"

"Well I'm NOT and I'll gladly do the honors!" Belle said with broom in hand.

"That thing you're carrying is going to be as ugly as the idiot you spawned it on just like hers!"

"Call our babies ugly one more time, Axelle, and we'll see how ugly you get!" Belle threatened.

"Let's put this trash where it belongs...in the trees!" Emma growled.

Regina conjured more trees and they started hanging Axelle's bodyguards from them by their underwear. Belle chased Axelle back up the hill to her pink coach. Rumple turned her into a pink mouse and her carriage into a cage.

Belle laughed when she saw her old enemy in a cage.

"Are you going to send the witch back to her father?" Marie asked him.

"An' what we gonna do with Pinkie here?" Jason asked pointing at the poodle.

Bae snapped his fingers. "Maj, release!"

The shepherd opened his mouth and the poodle fell to the ground. It whimpered and rolled over on its back in front of Major, submitting.

"I wanna keep it!"

The little boy looked at Regina pleadingly.

"But he's pink, Jason...you gotta change him back first." Roland pointed out.

"So we can change him back an' he can live with us."

"Oh all right...if he wants to stay with us...Rumple, may need a bit of help with this spell."

"Okay, dearie. You need to change just the coat color, not the dog," he instructed his former student.

Regina concentrated and waved her hand over the dog restoring its snow white coat.

"There you go," Rumple nodded approvingly.

"Well ahh we should wash up..." Marie said to Archie. "And I'm a bit tired..."

The couple knew they were in for a scolding for not announcing their news sooner but both were exhausted.

Belle frowned at her sister. "I believe you have some news you need to share with me, Marie Hopper?"

"It's true, Belle...I'm pregnant," Marie said happily.

"That wasn't how we wanted to announce it..." Archie added nervously.

"It's a funny thing, expecting," Rumple remarked, his eyes twinkling devilishly. "It sneaks up on you unaware and ambushes you at the most inopportune moment. One minute you're sleeping peacefully and the next thing you know you're running to the bathroom to puke your guts out. Right, Archie?"

"Yes..."

"You feel like you've been possessed by some fiendish child that delights on jumping up and down on your stomach and making you feel like you're hanging upside down and spinning around like a top," Rumple continued.

"And eating everything in sight...I'm on the damned see food diet...I see it...I eat it!"

"An they're eating gross stuff too!" complained Gisella

"And things you used to love now make you throw up," Rumple said.

"My chili, Rumple! I can't handle it!"

Marie laughed. "He's afraid to lose his crown."

"I can make it if you can't," Rumple said.

"You'll have to..."

"And you can make Hopper's Heavenly Hash Brownies."

"Ummm not anymore..."

"Makes him puke!"

"Thanks Sella!"

"At least she's not as bad as Bae. He would wave a bottle of Pepto Bismol in front of me during breakfast," Rumple recalled.

"No, she does it too."

"And ask me if I wanted it or Alka Seltzer with my toast and tea."

Gisella smirked. "Cause Bae said if you got sick if mommy had a baby to do it!"

"Am I glad that's not gonna happen to me," Jeff muttered.

"How do you know, Hatter?" Emma queried.

"It didn't with Grace. Or Henry."

"You weren't with me when I was carrying Henry," Emma reminded him. "So you don't know for sure."

"Do too. And it ain't happening. No way Jose!"

Belle nudged Rumple. "He seems awfully sure of himself."

"Too sure," Rumple nodded. "And Fate has a way of knocking you on your ass for assuming things."

"Have you Seen something?" she whispered.

"Not clearly, but . . .let's just say he won't be so smug a few months or so from now."

He gestured and the pink coach was sent on its way again with a note inside for Axelle's father explaining this was a punishment for her daring to insult the former Dark One, his family, and his friends.

As the coach rolled off down the road, Adriana's stuffed animal army marched out and waved and blew raspberries at the departing pink carriage.

Then they all broke camp and continued onward to Maurice' s castle.


	23. Expect the Unexpected

**23**

**~ Expect The Unexpected ~**

When the carriages and horses carrying the Golds and their friends rode into Avonlea, a large crowd awaited them. Maurice stepped out of the Gold carriage followed by his daughters, their husbands, children and dogs.

"Welcome home, Sir Maurice!" the magistrate greeted.

"Thank you. I'm sure you all remember my daughters; Belle and Marie as well as my granddaughter Gisella. Now I am proud to re-introduce you to my son-in-law Rumplestiltskin Gold and my grandson Baelfire."

"Rumplestiltskin looks different," one of the women observed.

"I am no longer under the curse of the Dark One, dearie," Rumple said softly. "Though I still do have my magic."

Several women eyed him appreciatively. "I think he is more handsome in this form…" one said.

"Oh my yes," another agreed.

Bae snickered. "The leather chick magnet strikes again."

Belle wanted her broom.

"He's mine, you understand…mine…all mine!" she grumbled.

Before his daughter could commit assault with a deadly broom Maurice decided now was a good time to introduce his new granddaughter. "And I am proud to introduce you to my new grandchild Adriana Isabelle Gold!" he declared and held the little girl up. Adriana clapped her hands and smiled out at the crowd while her stuffed bears came out of the carriage and waved to the crowd, blowing kisses.

Bae laughed. "You're a little ham, aren't you, Rumplette?"

His sister blew a raspberry at him and her bears followed suit.

The crowd laughed. "That's so adorable!" an elderly lady said.

Maurice handed his granddaughter back to her mother. "And now I am pleased to introduce you to my second son-in law, Archibald Hopper, who was once known as Jiminy Cricket, advisor to Snow White. And soon…he and my daughter Marie will be giving me another grandchild."

"Oh my! So THAT's what he really looked like? I always wondered about that," another woman in the crowd said and stared at him.

"Mine…" Marie hissed. Now Belle was giggling.

"You want to borrow the broom?" she whispered.

"Have one of my own."

"Oh my God…what is it with you guys that you cause women to go nuts wherever you go?" Bae asked, clutching his belly as he laughed.

"I don't know but any of them think about touching and they'll be getting a few whacks with our brooms," Belle said.

Maurice went on to introduce the rest of their companions and thankfully Regina was given a kind reception due to word of mouth from people in other towns and villages they passed during the trip to Avonlea where everyone was learning that the Evil Queen was not as evil as she was made out to be and she was making amends for all the wrongs she and her mother brought to them. People were also excited to finally see the famed 'Savior'.

Emma was a bit embarrassed by all the fanfare and she was quick to point out that she didn't break the Dark Curse alone; she had a lot of help from Regina…and their son.

"Everyone is invited to a ball at my castle at the end of the week!" Maurice announced and the crowd began to cheer remembering how enjoyable his previous balls were.

The castle itself was in good condition to Maurice's delight. There was some cleaning that needed to be done and everyone pitched in to help the servants. They were still surprised that the family decided to return to the Forest when they had a much better life on the other side. Rumple explained that they would all only be there for part of the year so their children would see both worlds.

They were all exhausted after their long carriage and horse rides and decided to take it easy for the rest of the day. It was a peaceful day until the next morning. Belle came downstairs to hear shouting in the kitchen.

"Zis is MY kitchen and I'll be the only one cooking in it!" shouted Arnaud their castle chef followed by the sounds of pots and pans being thrown.

"Will you calm down dearie! We're just asking to cook in here once in a while!" Rumple cried.

Belle giggled. She'd forgotten to warn her husband about Arnaud. He was as possessive about his kitchen as Rumple was about his.

"No! You get out…both of you! GET!"

"Throw one more pan at me and you'll be the one getting...turned into something that crawls on its belly!" Rumple said angrily.

"Or you'll have another hole where you didn't before when I take my umbrella to you," Archie added. "Good gods man, we're just trying to give you a rest once in a while not put you out to pasture!"

"What does ZAT mean?" demanded the infuriated man followed by another crash.

Marie laughed. "How did I know he was going to use that line?"

"Don't tell me, it's something from McLintock?" Belle asked her.

"Yes….when GW retired his cook Ching and replaced him with Mrs. Warren."

The two women walked into the kitchen and the chef glared at them. "Zese husbands of yours think they can just come in and take over MY kitchen, they can think again!"

"Arnaud, you know we love your cooking but you DO need a rest," Belle insisted. "Rumple and Archie are great cooks and they won't leave your kitchen a mess."

"Or at least let them help you out," Marie suggested.

"You know how to cook...you prove it!" the cook yelled.

The brothers-in-law looked at each other and grinned. "Shall we?"

The chef took one of his recipe books down from a shelf and slammed it down on the table, opening it to the middle. "You cook this...without any hocus pocus, magician!" he challenged Rumple.

"What's all the racket?" Bae asked sleepily when he walked into the kitchen holding Adriana.

"I'll cook zis too and if it is better than yours...you stay OUT of my kitchen!" the chef went on.

"Oh? And who judges, might I ask?" inquired Archie.

Bae started laughing. "A cooking duel? You're kidding, right?"

"No, he's not," Belle said. "All right, Arnaud...we'll have the castle staff judge and if they say Rumple and Archie's is better you agree to let them help you out or you let them cook once in a while. Agreed?"

"They won't dare choose these two...amateurs over me!"

"Amateurs? Oh, you will be eating those words, dearie," Rumple giggled.

The chef snorted. "I think not!"

Word spread quickly that Arnaud the castle chef challenged the Bordreaux women's husbands to a culinary duel and the castle staff was convinced the chef would win while their family and circle of friends knew they could give the chef a run for his money.

The baby, now that she was in the kitchen, wanted to stay there.

"No! No! No children in the kitchen!" protested Arnaud. The baby wailed and the kitchen door swung open and in marched the stuffed bear army. They jumped onto the counters and started taking items out of the cupboards and threw them.

"Adriana! Dearie, enough of that!" Rumple said sternly.

He snapped his fingers and the bears were frozen.

"That child is wicked!"

"You'd better watch what you say about my baby, Arnaud, or I'll take the broom to you!" Belle said angrily. "She's not wicked."

"The hell she's not!"

Suddenly a broom flew out of the closet and swatted the chef across the backside hard.

Bae howled with laughter. "Not even a year old and she can already give a beatdown!"

"No more, Adriana," Rumple ordered his daughter. She blew a raspberry and gave him a Look.

"You may as well let her in here, mister or she's gonna make you miserable," Bae cautioned.

"Fine! She stays but THOSE go!" he pointed at the frozen bears.

Rumple sent the bears back to the nursery and summoned Adriana's bassinet to the kitchen. Belle and Marie sat in the corner with the baby while they watched their husbands cook together as they did every Sunday night back in Storybrooke.

"I am getting my husband into a pair of leather pants before we leave here," Marie murmured. "He's resisting me on it...so I'll just have to be a bit sneaky..."

Belle giggled. "Just say the word sister dear and Rumple will magic them on him faster than he can blink."

"What are you two plotting back there?" inquired Archie.

"Nothing..." Marie sang.

He shook his head. "It's never nothing when she has that look on her face," he muttered to Rumple.

"It's the same with Belle, dearie. You have to keep a sharp eye on these Bordreaux women. Never know what they'll hit you with next."

Arnaud scowled. "You two are a menace in my kitchen. Did zey tell you what zey did to one of my dinners?"

Rumple chuckled. "Recently, though I'm not surprised with my wife. She terrified my enchanted stove so much it flew out the window."

"I've been giving mine cooking lessons," Archie explained.

"Need a lot of them, zey do..." Arnaud snorted.

"What are you making anyway?" Belle asked.

"Chicken Cordon Bleu," Rumple replied.

"And no one makes it like ME!" Arnaud boasted.

"He thinks," Marie whispered to Belle. "Our boys' Cordon Bleu is like chocolate...sinfully delicious..."

"As are our boys..." Belle murmured.

It was getting difficult for the husbands to concentrate when their wives were eyeing them like steaks they wanted to devour, not that they wouldn't welcome it...later.

Both chicken dishes were now ready to put in the oven. In the dining room the staff members were nearly salivating to the scents coming from the kitchen as were Rumple and Archie's friends and family.

Just before the chicken was ready Belle carried the baby into the dining room and put her in her carrier while she slept. She usually wanted to be fed after her mother had her own dinner. Her army of stuffed bears somehow got back downstairs and now they were sleeping, some of them snoring on the floor around her.

"I'd hate to see what happens if she gets a Chuckie doll," Henry joked. His father swatted at him.

His mothers glared.

"Henry Mills Hatter, when did you watch Child's Play when Regina and I specifically told you NO horror movies?"

He and Grace lowered their heads guiltily.

"Gracie?" Jeff prompted sternly.

"Ummm...a while ago."

"With who?"

Bae and his former gang member friends quickly looked away knowing they would all get their backsides chewed out.

"Ummm...some friends at school," Grace fibbed.

"An I don't like the one with the guy with the knives on his hand," Roland piped up.

"Me neither...an' he's really ugly too," added Gisella.

"WHAT?" Marie and Regina cried. "Nightmare on Elm Street?!"

"What's all the excitement about?' Rumple asked when he, Archie and Arnaud walked into the dining room, their Cordon Bleu dishes on a silver serving cart.

"Someone has been letting our youngest children watch horror movies."

"Bae..." Rumple gave his son a Look.

"Aww come on, Papa! Why you think it was me?"

"Because I happen to know for a fact you DO watch them and have them hidden in your room again when I specifically told you months ago to get rid of them."

"When did this occur, Gisella?" Archie demanded of his daughter.

"Ummm..."

"Roland?" Robin pressured his son.

"Ummm..."

"Jason?" Regina gave her youngest son a Look.

"Ahhhh...I dunno."

Rumple threw up his hands. "I don't believe this...a conspiracy of silence! It better not happen again or you'll be grounded, Baelfire, and YOUR parents will be getting phone calls when we get back to Storybrooke," he warned the other Scorpions.

"They didn't make us watch em...we kinda walked in while they were..." Grace said.

"And...I'd better not find out they've seen movies with…other things in them either!"

"Ummm...I kinda did, Mommy," Jason said blushing. "Wif naked people."

Regina nearly fainted.

"WHEN!?" she screeched ready to let the Evil Queen loose.

"Ummm...it was when I was with my bad mommy...she'd watch stuff with naked people in it."

"Ewww...I 'member you tellin me that Jason...an didn't you say something about animals..."

"Gisella Hopper...stop right there!" Archie ordered.

"I am skinning that goat!" snarled Regina.

"What kind of woman watches...never mind...this IS Zelena we're talking about..." Belle muttered.

"I'm gonna barf..." Bae moaned.

"Right behind you, Fire," groaned Andi.

"Ummm...Mister Fox brought it over...they always liked ta watch stuff like that."

"Disgusting filthy...PERVERTS! The next thing you'll be telling me is they watched stuff with people wearing collars and chains!"

"Umm...yeah."

"Jeff! Give me your hat...I'm making a side trip!" Regina growled.

"Oh, you'd better start passing out numbers, Hatter, because I think a few more of us will be joining her," Rumple said.

"My bad mommy said that stuff's cool an' it doesn't hurt anybody."

"The hell it doesn't!" Belle raged. "Rumple would NEVER do that to me!"

"And I KNOW you'd never do that to me," Marie said to her husband.

"I know you all want to kick Zelena to hell and back but it won't help. The best thing you can do is make sure Jason isn't exposed to anything like that again," Snow advised. "We all have to do that for our children."

That seemed to subdue the other parents' anger...for the moment.

"Okay, let's EAT!" crowed Little John.

Each dinner guest was given a plate of Chicken Cordon Bleu one piece from Arnaud, the other Archie and Rumple made together. Although Arnaud's was delicious, the in-laws family and friends still preferred theirs. Once all the staff members were finished eating they set down their forks.

"Well?" demanded the castle chef.

"You better make some room in your kitchen, Arnaud," spoke up Toulouse, one of the stable hands.

"This is divine!" agreed Babette, a laundress.

The chef let loose a string of curses.

"Hey, watch the mouth...there's little kids here!" Bae cried. "Papa, give him the Ivory!"

Rumple snapped his fingers and a bar of soap appeared in the chef's mouth.

The children giggled to see an adult get treated like they did when they had potty mouths.

Once the soap vanished Arnaud ran into the kitchen to wash out the awful taste.

After dinner the group gathered in the old war room that Rumple, Emma and Regina converted into a large family room with their magic.

"Let's do something fun," suggested Snow.

"Such as?" asked Regina, hoping that it wasn't something dumb. Sometimes Snow could be a little corny.

Until Belle said, "I know! Let's play telephone . . .you remember how, dont you, Marie? And Rumple, Bae, me, and the furniture used to play it back in the Dark Castle, which needs a new name . . .how about it?"

"Oh now I remember, Belle! I loved that game!" Marie exclaimed.

"Me too! It was fun playing it when you were sick in bed, Mama," Bae laughed. "And no one ever got the first sentence right at the end . . ."

"Is this sort of like a rumor mill or grapevine?" inquired Archie.

"Ooh yes I heard it through the grapevinnneeee," sang Becky.

"Here's how it works, dearie." Rumple instructed. "Someone starts with a sentence and then passes it to the next person by whispering it in their ear, then that person passes it to the next person and so on till you get to the last person who has to repeat the sentence aloud . . . and see what they say . . . "

Emma grinned. "I might like this..."

"Everyone sit in a circle and Belle, you start," Rumple said, sitting beside his wife."

They all arranged themselves in a circle, with the last person being Marie.

Belle then leaned over and whispered in Rumple's ear, "Once there was a little girl with a curl in the middle of her forehead and when she was good she was very very good and when she was bad she was horrid."

Rumple repeated the sentence to Bae, who was sort of distracted by Andi, and he repeated, "Once there was a little girl with a cut in the middle of her forehead and when she was good she was very very good, but when she was bad she was terrible."

Andi repeated the sentence to Becky, and since Bae mumbled heard, "Once there was a little girl with a spot in the middle of her forehead and when things were going good they were great and when they weren't she had a tantrum."

Becky had a bit of trouble remembering what she was hearing and when her came to whisper it Ewan it came out like this: "Once there was a little girl with a hole in her forehead and when things were going good they were too good and when they weren't she threw a fit.'

Ewan heard, "Once a little girl held her forehead because something hit her cause some idiot threw something at it."

When he whispered to Bobby he started laughing.

"What hell did you say, bro?" Bobby frowned. He tried to figure out what it was and got, "One day a little girl fell and hit her head and became an idiot, too bad."

Now it was his turn to tell it to Kat.

She went and told Jeff, who was barely paying attention and he told Emma, "One day a girl went mad and chopped off somebody's head and stuck it on a spit."

Emma stared at him. "You sure about that, Hatter? That's gross!"

"It's what I heard," he argued.

"Okay," she told Regina what Jeff had said, but said, "One day a girl went mad and chopped off somebody's head."

She had a cold so Regina couldn't really understand her when she whispered and heard, "A sad girl chopped apart a loaf of bread."

Regina's eyebrow arched curiously. "Emma, are you pulling my leg?"

Jason was next and he was so excited he forgot half of what his mommy said. He whispered to Roland, "A bad girl ate some bread and fell outta bed."

Roland cracked up and giggled to Gisella, "A girl ate some bad bread and got sick an' had to stay in bed."

Gisella heard, "A boy n'girl got sick and threw up bread in their bed. Eww!"

Archie sneezed as Gisella whispered to him and heard, "A boy and girl dropped dead."

He passed it on to Snow who repeated it to David, who was busy smirking at his wife and all he heard was, "A boy and a girl got it on in bed."

Maurice was snoozing by the time David whispered in his ear and what he heard was, "Two boys and a girl had a hot time in bed!"

He goggled at David. "That can't be right!"

"It is too!"

Maurice scowled, then he muttered to Marie, "Two boys and a girl had a hot time in bed."

Marie dropped the cup of tea she was holding.

"Papa!"

She was blushing.

"I...I can't say that out loud!"

"You have to, Marie. That's the rules," Belle reminded her.

Marie gasped. "Papa!" Then she said, "These boys said a girl was hot in bed!"

"Marie!" Archie cried.

Belle gasped. "Marie! That's not what I said! I said: Once there was a girl with a curl in the middle of her forehead and when she was good she was very very good and when she was bad she was horrid!"

"So what do we do now?" Emma asked.

"I for one would like to know how long were you two going to wait until you told us the big news, Archie?" Regina asked her friend. "When she had the baby?"

"Well...ahhhh...we'd just gotten back and everyone was excited about coming here...so we were going to give it a few days..."

"What I want to know is if another manhood intervention is in order?" demanded Jeff.

Rumple rolled his eyes. "Still haven't learned your lesson, have you, dearie? At least I was ready for you the second time you tried it."

The 'Concerned Men of Storybrooke' did indeed attempt a second intervention when they discovered Rumple also experienced post-partum issues, attempting to abduct him outside his shop but were forced to run like hell when the squid ink failed to immobilize him.

"What the hell...?" Sleepy asked.

"Get ready to run, boys... unless you want to be hanging from the flagpoles of every building in town in your underwear?"

"How the...NOTHING is supposed to counter squid ink!" Jeff stammered.

"You can thank Elmira because SHE found the one thing that does...a little drop of olive oil on the skin a day keeps the idiots away."

"We're dead..." groaned Grumpy.

"You've got til I count to three. O..."

He didn't even get the rest of the word out They were already running with their tails between their legs.

"...You can just forget it Hatter!" snapped Archie. "Yes, I do have Couvade syndrome!"

The other men started laughing. The women were smiling.

"Better watch out, Hatter. You could be next!" Regina smirked.

"Oh I would love to see that!" sang Belle.

"So would I," agreed Marie.

"No way in hell, Gina. Besides Em's not pregnant."

"Ummm...Jeff…honey..," Emma began nervously.

"You…you're not...?"

"I was gonna tell you..."

David glared at the portal jumper. "And THIS time you're marrying her because I'll be there with a shotgun to make sure you do!"

Jeff looked shell shocked.

"Well, aren't you going to say anything?" asked Snow, frowning.

" Umm . . . that's great, honey!" Jeff stammered, trying to recover. "When shall we set a date?"

"Sooner the better," David growled.

Henry facepalmed himself. "Dad! You gotta PROPOSE first!" He looked at Bae. "Sometimes he's clueless and I gotta remind him about things like that."

Bae started giggling. "Umm .. yeah sometimes they are."

Rumple craned his head and glared at his son. "Baelfire, do you need to get reacquainted with a mop and bucket of soapy water when we get home?"

"Papa! M'just saying!"

"Well Regina, I guess we better tell 'em our news too," said Robin.

"Good news or bad news?" Rumple asked.

"Well, we were going to get married first but I won't be able to hide my condition either if we wait too long."

"Regina! Are you?" Belle asked hopefully knowing how much the other woman wanted a baby.

"I realized it last night…"

"Whoa! It's like a baby boom!" Bae exclaimed. "Why?"

"They're not the only ones and I think I know why." said Snow. She looked at Archie. "And if I'm right he's the reason why."

"What did I do?" he asked worriedly.

"Would one of you explain since he isn't aware of what he did?" Snow asked Regina and Rumple.

"You broke the second curse, Archie and one of its effects was infertility on all of us but I deflected it from me and Belle and for some odd reason Jeff escaped it too since Emma DID have Henry...however…you were all separated. And once all those targeted were reunited with their true loves and the curse broken…all of them would be blessed with a child...starting with the last victim who had one special trait the others didn't." Rumple smirked at the other men. "NOW tell me there's something wrong with a man who chooses to be chaste until his wedding night!"

"Unbelievable." Jeff muttered.

Rumple glanced over at Robin. "I'll be making certain YOU make an honest woman of Regina, Hood, with a shotgun of my own...or a crossbow."

"Shotgun weddings!"Becky cackled.

Maurice laughed. "Thank the gods I didn't have to do that!"

"Well since you guys are so hell bent on holding guns to our men, why don't we just do a shotgun themed wedding...the men can wear hunting clothes and everything?" Emma suggested.

The father of one bride to be and the one who wished he had been the father of the other liked that idea.

"I've got something even better...Emma, why don't we have your wedding in Storybook and Robin and I can have ours here in Sherwood Forest?" Regina suggested.

"We could do that...you one day me the next."

There was much to celebrate...future weddings and upcoming births.

Regina approached Rumple later on that night to ask if he would stand in for her papa and walk her down the aisle. She felt a little awkward asking him because it was a very personal thing.

"Dearie, I intend to...with a crossbow in hand," he quipped.

Regina laughed. "Now you really sound like my father, Rumple! I've a feeling he would have done the same."

"Aye lass, he would have. He was a good man but your mum a prize fool."

"I know. Sometimes I wonder why she married him . . .and then I remember what she was really after . . a throne. He was a means to an end for her. And she never appreciated him."

"And the throne she didn't get. I told her many times you can't have everything."

"She never did listen though when someone told her something she didn't want to hear. It was always what SHE wanted and to hell with whatever anyone else said," Regina said bitterly.

"I know you really wanted to wed Daniel but you love Robin?"

"Yes, I really do. And it was very . . unexpected. I never expected to give my heart to someone else after I lost Daniel."

He smiled. "We're all learning to expect the unexpected...and now you'll be having a child of your own along with the three wonderful boys you already have. You've been blessed Regina."

She nodded. "I truly have. And I have what my mother never did . . .true happiness. And that is better than any throne."

"Or dagger," he agreed.

"Yes. I loved having magic, but I've found that there are more important things than power . . .and the best things are having a place to call home and a family to share it with."

"It's something I always knew even with that demon in me."

"You always understood that . . but Mother never did . . .or never wanted to. And in the end she died like she had lived . . .alone with her power and her throne."

"I just wish we'd been able to stop her scheme and save your father."

"Me too. Poor Daddy. He wanted to help me so much." Regina blinked back tears. "But . . .you know something? he said to me once that you shouldn't mourn those who fulfill their destiny. And I think . . .despite my mother . . .he did that. He gave up his life for me and though I'll always regret it, I can't fault him for it. He told me a long time ago that as a parent you give up everything for your child's happiness. And now that I'm a parent . . . I understand."

"We all have more now than we probably would have not being cursed."

"Yes. Though I'm sorry for what my mother put you through, Rumple. And Zelena too. I never told you this . . .but I never laughed so hard in my life when she came back to the palace, all hysterical . . .she claimed you were such a beast and you beat her over a mere serving wench . . .and when I heard what she had done to deserve it . . I had to go into a room alone to muffle my laughter! Finally my spoiled brat of a sister had gotten what she deserved! And that it came from you was so . .. awesome!"

Regina smirked. "Zelena was Mother's darling .. . the most like her, so she was never punished like I was."

"She deserved it and more and now she's just what Bae called her...a goat."

Regina started laughing again. "A toothless old goat!"

"Harm my family and that is what you get."

"And rightly so. I would have done the same."

He hugged her. "I'll make your gown myself...you'll be the loveliest forest bride."

"Thank you. I would be honored to wear it . . like I never got to when I was christened." She hugged him back.

"I'll get to work right away."

"Why don't you rest tonight? After all, you're a married man now with a new baby to take care of. You probably don't get much sleep at night still. Or am I wrong?"

He chuckled. "I don't."

"Thought so. Although your Adriana is adorable. I hope this little one is a girl . . ." she rubbed her still flat stomach.

"Have you thought of a name?" He suspected she was indeed carrying a girl.

"Eleanor. She was a great queen of England and France. And if it's another boy, Alexander. But I'm leaning towards a girl."

"Little Ellie will be a fiery lass, like her mum."

"Have you . . .Seen her then?"

He concentrated and in his mind's eye he Saw a beautiful little girl with her mother's hair and her father's eyes.

Regina recognized that faraway look in his eyes as a Seer's trance and remained silent until he emerged from it.

"Two lasses and two lads..."

He looked at her. "Yours will be a lass as will Emma's and Snow and Marie will have lads."

"Snow is pregnant too?"

"Yes."

"Oh God! All four of us!"

"You were all targets of Cora's second curse."

"I know . . it's just . . so funny to think that. Poor Dr. Jo . . .having to deal with all of us . . .and the husbands. Well, Robin's been through it before . . but Jeff and Archie . . ."

"Jeff having Couvade syndrome will be karma being a bitch," he chuckled.

"Yes and serve him right! I wonder if he'll be one of those who just start crying in public for no reason!"

"He should!"

Regina gave an evl chuckle."I would PAY to see that! And record it and post it on Youtube!"

"We'll just have to wait and see dearie."

"I predict our girls will be best friends!"

"Oh I have no doubt of it."

"And drive us totally crazy!" Regina grinned.

"It's what children are born to do."

"Yes, that's true. And if they don't drive you nuts . . .they're not really your children," she chuckled.

He yawned. "I guess I'd better get in a few hours before Adriana wakes me up for her 3 AM feeding."

"Soon this will be me, so I sympathize. Good night, Rumple! Sleep tight and don't let the ogres bite!"

The following morning Regina suggested they all go riding. Those who knew how would teach the others.

Of all of them Archie was the most reluctant to learn how having almost been mowed down by his own wife on horseback.

"Oh don't be such a chicken, Uncle Archie! " Bae teased.

"Bae, I remember when I had to bribe you to get on a horse," Andi reminded him. "You were sure you were gonna fall off and break your neck. Or have you forgotten?" This was just before the curse had been cast.

A few days before, and Andi had obtained a gentle mare and wanted to teach him how to ride.

"Ummmm...yeah..."

It hadn't helped that when Bae was younger, around five, he had gone to a fair with Rumple and went on a pony ride and the ill-tempered beast had thrown him. He'd come home bruised and nursing a sore behind and ever since then had not been eager to ride again. Until Andi had reassured him this mare would not do such a thing.

"Well I'm not going," Archie said stubbornly.

"Should we tie him up?" Bae asked.

"Come on, Archie," Rumple encouraged, sitting on his own stately chestnut mare. "You can learn how to ride just like the Duke. Don't you want to be like your idol John Wayne?"

Marie smiled. "I'd like that..."

"Oh, all right!"

"Rumple, would you mind giving my husband a wardrobe change?" Marie asked Rumple.

"Not at all," Rumple smirked. "Now, in order to ride properly . . you have to dress right." And he gestured and Archie was attired in a pair of leather pants and a flowing green shirt. "There!"

Marie sauntered up to her husband. "Now that is more like it..."

He thought he looked silly.

"And your backside will thank me later," Rumple chuckled. "Trust me."

"I'm thanking you," Marie murmured and swatted her husband's backside.

"Marie!"

"Come on, darling."

"You can take it slow, Hopper," Rumple said. "This is Marshmallow," he held the reins of a calm sleepy light gray dappled horse. "He's an old campaigner."

"Okay but he better not throw me."

"He won't," Rumple assured him. "He's a schooling horse. Means he's as calm as his name."

"You'll do fine," Marie encouraged.

Marshmallow hardly batted an eye when Archie mounted him, just snorted sleepily.

"See...he likes you," Belle said.

"Tap him a bit with your heels," instructed Rumple.

"Easy Archie...too hard and he'll bolt..." Marie said.

But Marshmallow just ambled along, in his sleepy fashion. Rumple suspected the only way the sedentary horse would get excited was when he heard food being poured into his feed bin.

"He's a quiet fellow. I like it."

Marshmallow flicked an ear back and shook his head, content to walk alongside his herdmates.

"We'll be indisposed once we get back to the castle," Marie whispered to Belle as she stared at her husband.

Belle winked at her.

"Papa, wanna race?" Bae challenged. He was on a quick little black stepes horse called Comet.

"You think you can beat me, boy?" Rumple laughed. He was small enough to be a jockey and his mount, the chestnut mare, had once been a race horse. Her name was Windflier.

Rumple clucked to his mount, and Windflier suddenly bolted from her fast walk, her head up and tail flying.

"Yah!" Bae shouted and kicked Comet into a gallop.

"Boys will be boys." Belle shook her head.

The two horses raced neck and neck for the first quarter mile, but then Bae's black started to flag, for the pace was very fast, and the little horse had smaller legs than Rumple's mare.

"Come on Fire!" encouraged the Scorpions.

Bae patted his horse's neck. "C'mon, Comet!"

Rumple let out his reins a notch, and the mare stretched out her head and went even faster, as if she was running down the homestretch.

"That's a good lass!" he called to her.

"Sweet talking her!" Jeff snorted.

"He's very good at that," Belle laughed.

As if to prove her point, Windflier stepped up her pace, reaching the designated oak tree first.

"Fire, move your butt!"

Bae patted his gallant little horse. He could sense the animal was running with everything he had . . .but it wasn't quite enough to catch the seasoned former race horse.

"It's Windflier by a head!" Jeff called, clapping. "Rumple, why the hell aren't you a jockey? Ya ride like one!"

Rumple stood up in his stirrups. "Whoa, lass!"

As Windflier slowed, he turned to Jeff. "I'm not competitive enough for that. Besides, that's one of the most dangerous sports in America."

"I'll stick to a calm ride," Archie said.

"Good try," Bae said, patting his horse's neck. Comet blew softly and slowed at Bae's light pull on the reins.

"Our turn!" Regina said to Robin with a grin.

Robin kicked his horse, Flicker, a piebald gelding into a gallop, saying, "Catch me if you can, milady!"

Regina tossed her head. "Let's get him, Diamond!" she called to her spirited black stallion with the white diamond in the middle of his forehead.

"Beat him, Mom!" Henry cheered.

Regina clucked to her stallion, loving the feel of the wind in her hair and the way the horse moved beneath her. Her beloved Rocinante had been killed by Cora the first time she'd balked at marrying Leopold . . .before Cora had taken Daniel's heart.

But this horse reminded her of her lost mount, and his full name was Mystic Diamond. He soon caught up to Robin's piebald and raced neck and neck with him.

"Still think you can beat me?" she challenged.

"Maybe. But I really don't care!" he laughed, loving the expression on her face.

She raced to the tree finish line amongst cheers from her son and friends. Regina leaned over and patted Diamond. "Oh, I love you, my beautiful boy!"

"I've been upstaged by a horse!" Robin sad ruefully.

"Ah suck it up," taunted Emma

"A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!" Belle quoted.

Regina smiled. "I can relate to that. Belle, I wonder if Maurice will let me buy him?"

"He's yours," Maurice said.

"Really? Thank you!" Regina looked like she'd been given a million dollars.

"You're welcome."

As they processed through Avonlea's rolling meadows and hills, Belle recognized a few familiar landmarks.

"Belle, are we close to the lake?" asked Marie.

"Yes. I recognize the pointed rock over there," she answered.

She urged her brown gelding, Swallow, into a trot.

Rumple followed. "Is this where you were told you'd see your true love, dearie?"

"No, where we wished for it."

'Your wish came true," he murmured.

"And so did mine..." whispered Marie.

The two couples dismounted from their horses and walked to the edge of the lake, each woman holding the hand of her spouse.

"Ninia, for true love I wished from thee, to this spot I return to ask you to bestow your blessing upon me," they chanted.

Rumple could feel the ancient magic in this place . . . a magic as old as the land itself, and as powerful. It made his bones hum with its power.

A woman with silvery blond hair poked her head out from beneath the water.

"Welcome Rumplestiltskin," she said in an angelic voice.

Rumple recognized her as a naiad, an ancient being, a river spirit. "Lady of the Water, I greet thee," he said softly.

She rose to her full height and bowed. "Much you have overcome and now you have seized your destiny and become the true Guardian of Light."

He coughed. "Me . .the Guardian? But . . .I was the Dark One!"

"The true Guardian is one who maintains the balance between darkness and light...by walking both paths as you have."

"I . . never knew that," he murmured, recognizing the truth in that statement. And an Elemental such as she was did not lie . . they were incapable of it.

She glanced over at Belle. "And you could not have chosen a more perfect mate...one who can see the beauty beneath the surface."

"Actually, she chose me," Rumple admitted. "She saw the man trapped by a desperate decision, turned into a beast by a curse."

"Yet still maintaining enough of his humanity to subdue the demon."

He inclined his head. "Bae and Belle . . they anchored me to it. They were the lost pieces of my heart."

She smiled. "Belle, the blessing I bestow upon you is this..."

She waved her hand and the other woman's body glowed with a bright white light. "Miracles can happen more than once my dear...if that is your wish."

Belle's eyes widened as she realized what the Elemental spirit was implying. So did Rumple.

"There is no greater symbol of true love than a child conceived from it."

"Aye, that's so, dearie."

"Thank you..." Belle wept.

Rumple hugged her. "Your kindness is greatly appreciated, lady."

In the olden times, one of the greatest blessings an Elemental could bestow upon a human was fertility, the very thing they themselves possessed little of as they were nearly immortal.

She now turned to Archie and Marie. "Your own journey to happiness has been a painful one yet through the love you have for each other and others have for you, you have conquered it all."

Her eyes lowered to Marie's belly. "The one blessing I could have given you, you are already carrying. So I give you this..."

She waved her hand over the couple. "A magician's life force burns longer than that of mere mortals...and now yours will last as long as those of Belle and Rumplestiltskin."

"What...?" Archie gasped.

"W...What did she do, Rumple?" Marie asked him

"She has given you both the lifespan of a sorcerer," he replied. "Which is centuries instead of a hundred years."

"And this blessing extends to all of those in your bloodline," added the Elemental.

Belle threw her arms around her sister. "That was the one thing I was so afraid of...outliving you..."

"So that means we've got a few centuries to drive each other crazy?' Archie asked with a grin.

"Yes, you do." Rumple chuckled.

"Family is forever," said the goddess.

And this family had the strongest bond she'd ever seen.

"I must be going...but I hope to see all of you again soon...and with more little ones."

Rumple waved and said, "Next time we'll bring our wee ones with us."

"I...I still can't believe it...all of us...living that long!" Marie exclaimed.

"Together," Belle said softly.

"You can spend many lifetimes mastering different skills so you don't become bored," Rumple said.

"All I know how to do is dance...and other things..." Marie said, grinning at her husband.

"Well, now you can take the time to learn other things," Rumple said. "I was a poor spinner, but as the Dark One I taught myself how to read better and write legibly, and also educated myself about the laws of each kingdom. Why do you think Regina made me an attorney when we were cursed?"

"And Marie, THAT is for nightime..." Archie murmured.

Belle giggled. "You never get out of the honeymoon phase."

"No . . not really . . ." Rumple acknowledged.

"So we can learn new things during the day and drag you off to bed at night. Nothing wrong with that," Marie chuckled.

"I can just hear Bae now...rabbits," Belle laughed.

"Yes . . .or turtledoves."

Belle linked her arm through her husband's. "Let's go...our children are waiting for us."

"Yes, dearie. They are."

They rode back to the castle just as the sun set behind the mountains and Maurice's celebration ball began.

Everyone remembered well the first time the couple danced in the grand ballroom and the deep affection they shared for each other was a strong as ever and there would be no one to interrupt with threats of a curse.

From her bassinet in the corner of the room, the little miracle created from their love was giggling excitedly, her army of stuffed bears wandering around the room throwing rose petals on every couple dancing.

As they waltzed around the room, Rumple smiled over at his baby girl and thought how the most unexpected surprise was the miracle of family, in every way. And he was going to enjoy his new life to the fullest. Because though all magic came with a price, sometimes it also came with the most unexpected rewards.

**A/N: Just the epilogue to go, dearies! Hope you liked all the surprises in here!**


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